MY POWER DEADLY POTATO SALAD....
RECIPE:
branded potato...not local one very greenish smell local ones.
a bag of either RUSSETT, burbanks, bastagi, desiree - ex pink type or the super ex purplish potato, yukon more ex than desire...

choose only one type..choose about 4 or 5 good size ones with no shoots forming in the eyes...those are dead old ones which should ve been discarded.

homegrown rosemary a few sprigs - cut into fine chips
few pcs small butter blocks unsalted
a packet of ham chips - cheap or
minced beef - this one better - more power
creamy mayonaisse - 1 small bottle
red wine - i once used CAMUS FINE WINE....ABOUT $120/BTL OF 75CL
pinch of salt
organic soya sauce....(suppose to using it for nephew's food but he dosen't like...damn super EX a small bottle>$20)
parsley flakes from MASTER'S
virgin olive oil
sesame oil
black pepper
cumins
cinnamomum powder
finely chopped garlic about 1 tablespoon
parmesan cheese - to put in only after everything cooked and ready to serve.

method:
wash potatoes with veggie soap solution and brush skin clean from soil
add 1 or 2 tablespoon virgin olive oil into AMC pot (about>2k per set) or other stainless steel pot....
throw in finely cut up rosemary leaves, parsley flakes, 2 to 3 pcs small butter blocks.
pour in about 50 cc red wine. sprinkle a pinch of salt.
pour in about 4 tablespoon sesame oil, a few spray of organic soya sauce, few generous dash of black pepper and mincedd garlic.
stir with spoon and mix thoroughly and let it sit for a while...like maybe 5 minutes...
on stove to large fire. place the AMC pot over it. observed the needle. when needle hits 1 mark, open lid and stir and toss the potatoes. cover and continue heating. tone down flame to low.
when needle hits another mark, open and stir again. cover and stir again on the next mark.
continue repeating this every mark the needle hits. test the texture of potato. if cooked should be soft to bite.
when reach this stage, throw in the mayonaisse. stir through thoroughly...and let it continue to cook.
when potatoes soften, off flame and add in parmesan cheese either the grated one or powdered one. i prefer the last one....and hit one more round for about 5 minutes. so that parmesan cheese powder forms a crispy crust over the potatoes.
off flame. ready to serve.
unfinished porting can be kept in tupperware and put into fridge. taste better when cold.
happy cooking. healthy, good...and definitely POWER TO THE JOHN!!!

MY WEIRD FT TENANT....the real person he is.....???

yesterday nite was out with the gang of godsons, surprisingly sibeipine joined us. this joker is a loner. he can only entertain very close pals like maybe 1 to 3 only...the rest of the godsons were totally of no interest to him.

i was talking with him and a fella pal whom he introduced to me. were laughing, drinking and talking all kinds of topics under the sky.

suddenly sibeikang, his elder brother called. and me the big goon asked him to come newton hc to join us.

and he came. not alone but along with wifey chinjiagong and the whole gang of godsons......when sibeipine saw them, he turned gloomy and doomy....and stopped talking...just drank his bottles of beer after big bottles....

finally almost 2.30am, board meeting over. we dispersed.

i was worried for sibeipine...and told beikang to drive him home....chinjiagong could drive his mini austin back on her own...beipine rejected and insisted on driving on his own back...so be it...

another godson drove me home. upon reaching home, the phone rang. it was sibeipine. he was down....he was sad...he was crying....MY GOD!!

and he started pouring out his troubled soul onto me...halfway through, the weird FT IT tenant came out from his room. threw me a slip which said: CAN U PLS BE QUIET, I NEED TO SLEEP! THANK YOU!

Then returned to his room and slammed the door behind him. i was blurred...now what was wrong with this joker?....another "troubled" soul?

on the other hand, i couldn't forsake sibeipine who was so sad over gfs matters....he got 2 and looked like it was a deja vu. both decided to leave him for good. he sad :(

he was now quite hooleey mooleey...so i switched from monk wannabe to bloody pastor wannabe...and spoke to him about the love of CHRIST...and without knowing it, i was soon teaching him to pray to our holy father....

MY HOLY FATHER IN HEAVEN...PLS GUIDE THIS TROUBLE SOUL...PLS GIVE ME PEACE AND REST SO THAT MY TURMOILED HEART COULD FEEL UR PEACE AND LOVE.....I PRAY NOW IN THE NAME OF THE HOLY SPIRIT AND OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST....AMEN....

and he was touched to tears. he told me he instantly felt much better...

suddenly the weird FT IT tenant's door swung open again. he walked out of his room in a huff and puff. went straight to the main door...opened and slamming it behind him!

it startled me. i was blur. what's gotten into this young chap?? like kena raped like that! i was holding a cordless phone so i went outside, looked down from my unit to see where he was going at this hour...almost 3.30am now...

he went to the shelter below and gong gong sat there. me....i BLUR...I LEDI BLUR!!!

after his loud slamming which awoke lauhankoo next door. he came over...and without 3 by 7 = 21, started blasting his stereo at me...now me really BLURR!! and over the phone, sibeipine heard the screaming from lauhan...and he apologised to ve gotten me into trouble and hang up....

now i was alone in the house...BLUR LIKE A SOTONG...WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ALL THESE PEOPLE THIS MORNING???

all like eaten some kind of explosive TNT like that...and i realised the ft it tenant had behind my back tekan me....he must ve complained to lauhankoo about me...about what? i was still BLURR!

and to think i bought instant coffee, eggs, instant noodles of many flavour, fruits and sugarfree fruit juices - which he was about to finish the second packet of BIG PRAWN INSTANT NOODLE soon...why was he behaving thus???

i can only deduce. when u treated people nice; doesn't mean he would reciprocrate a good deed. instead he arrowed me from behind knowing lauhankoo treats him like god cos of his rental....

i just treated him to timsum not long ago when i kena lottery...and now he was biting back at the hands that fed him....sad...:(

I AM REALLY REALLY BLUR....HOW HUH??

i went back to embrace the compassion within my heart...and come to be enlightened that....NEVER MIND...HE'S TROUBLED...SO LET IT BE...IT'S OK...HE TOOK OUT HIS FRUSTRATION AND ANGUISH ON ME..IT'S OK.....i understand...and i chanted him a silent prayer for peace of mind....ornitoufo to him.......;9)

and also a big ornitoufo to sibeipine...and one to sibeikang...both thesr brothers like got clouds hanging over their foreheads....everyone's got problem except this goon...whose problems are their problems...haizz!

and paiseh...striked lottery again...7952.....which can out 3x liao...2795 - lst prize last sunday. 7952 consolation on last wed....and again 7952 yesterday....pai seh...this month allowances ...er...NO PROBLEM LIAO....hahahahah...;9)

ME AND MY PAST WEIRD PETS....

oh if i tell u about my past pets ur jaws will drop....i got pyschic link with them...

i got a baby praying mantis which i adopted and kept it to roam freely among my shui mei. and the funny part i trained it how to attack or catch preys...

i fed it well with dug out food debris among my teeth...u know char siew, chicken scraps that were lodged in between and dug out by toothpick.....and i fed it to my cute little bb mantis.

it even grew up to be a very pretty girl mantis...i know cos me an horticulturist....and for the last time...i patted my mantis...yes...i patted her. she was such a good girl but she needed to find a mate....and so she waved goodbye at me...and off she flew....

next my cute cute puffer fish which i found in the lift landing....there was three in a small plastic cup of water. so i adopted them.

in the end, left one...the strongest one ate up the other 2...no joke...and i started training it too.

again with my sliver of dug out food from my teeth on a toothpick. i held it above the water. my puffer would surface, gorged up his tummy and started squirting stream of water to hit the sliver of food on toothpick.

food fell and puffer supped it. as i got many potted plants, i bred a special pot of small spiral snails and fed that to puffer.

she loved it and would use her strong beaked mouth to crash the snail, eating the soft morsels and expelling the crushed shells through its gill.

very interesting to watch. u can hear the crunching sound even....but in the end, puffer was brutally murdered by lauhankoo...who fed it with big piece of cooked shrimp. the shrimp is adulterated with oil from mum's cooking...and the next day, my puffer was floating tummy up.....DEAD!!.;(

then...there were my cute cute spider training program...and all weird things i trained my pets like stick insects, dragonfly, beetles, dogs, ducks, chicken , rooster, guinea pigs, hamster, rabbits, grass snake, bb cobra,...etc...u name it most like i had and trained them before...

currently training my 4 yrs old nephew...to be a trick ah boy...intend to bring him for 7th mth ge tai...then i will be FATT KA BEH JIN CHU......hahahaha....;9)

if u like my weird and uncanny pets that i used to have and trained....buy tickets now....;9)

From: BabaEro11 18:39
To: leetahsar 1379 of 1389

83628.1379 in reply to 83628.1378

you left out the interesting part of ruan mian mian with you together under the thunderstorm. what both of you did?

From: leetahsar 19:18
To: BabaEro11 unread 1380 of 1389

83628.1380 in reply to 83628.1379

that pare, is the beauty of my creativity...to get u involved...that would be ur say now...ur story and the homework to hand in to me....ok...

u hantam lah...anything can happen what...once black out in stormy thundery night....hahahahaha ';9)

From: aussiebiz 19:30
To: leetahsar 1381 of 1389

83628.1381 in reply to 83628.1380

Eh brother I suggest you publish the stories in this thread. I started your Cambodian story this morning. Haven't continue reading yet. Maybe later tonight if. Looks like hellava long story.

From: leetahsar 19:46
To: aussiebiz unread 1382 of 1389

83628.1382 in reply to 83628.1381

u really think my stories are zany and interesting?

how to publish? me retire...and totally no income...what if i use my money and then can't even sell a copy...i die pain pain u know....:(

i wait for some destined guy out there who's engrossed captivated by it lor...if not...so be it...and let it be...

it wasn't my intention to publicise or expect even people to read it...i just write for the passion of writing and sharing my cartoonic life stories...hahahaha....;9)

the last part of the thundery night....not true ok...added ingredients...yes raining...but no...NO RUAN MIAN MIAN..OK...I LEAVE THAT TO UR OWN IMAGINATION...u r welcome to write out that part for me...;9)

me still a golden virge in mint condition. as for the whatever meis hor...jus some jokers adding into the fun.....but none from my camp...checked already....

From: ¼ÍÏþá° (jixiaolan) 20:12
To: leetahsar 1383 of 1389

83628.1383 in reply to 83628.1382

"me retire...and totally no income"

yr rental n indian chief's coffee moni leh? If u realli need more moni for publication, maybe u k ask "aussiebiz" for few hundred thousands loan. Interest free, u know!

From: leetahsar 20:17
To: ¼ÍÏþá° (jixiaolan) 1384 of 1389

83628.1384 in reply to 83628.1383

then he publishes lor...and be my fairy godfather...and u can be his elf....:9)

From: leetahsar 20:21
To: ¼ÍÏþá° (jixiaolan) 1385 of 1389

83628.1385 in reply to 83628.1383

the rental hor...lauhankoo sup to sperm missile cheena spider spirits...in fact now with tenant hor..i got to pay extra PUB, buy more eggs, coffee and of course instant noodles for the poor kena sacked tenant....and all these out of my own pocket hor...so what do i benefit? NOTHING.

as for the kopi money from the indian chief...u already answered ur own question...INDIAN CHIEF...sometime happy pay...most of the time unhappy, no need to pay...then how?

His parang is bigger than my club scot knife.....:(

{yr rental n indian chief's coffee moni leh?}

STORMY AND THUNDERY NIGHT......cont'd cambodia travelogue

everyone was deadbeat on reaching home the bungalow. no shopping today so nothing for ruan mian mian who was eagerly trying to unpack and take some from me....and our hands met again accidentally .....

WHERE DO I BEGIN...TO TELL THE STORY OF HOW GREAT A LOVE CAN BE.....i tot i just heard andy williams singing LOVE STORY.....hahhahaha....;9)

tonight we ate in cos everyone dead tired. ruan mian mian did all the cooking. we had deep fried chicken seasoned in cambodian herbal style. DAMN GOOD, u know! then a simple beansprout stirred fried with salted fish and some dunno what funny insects inside. i was told those black speckles were actually some kind of ants. wow! the soup was solid. old cucumber soup to cool of the "heat" we had or we just seen this afternoon....

i tot that was about it...but no....next on the menu was bullfrogs legs fried in ginger, shallot and onions with cambodian wine. turtle + century + chicken + chopped up quail eggs fried with dunno what local veggies. finally a simple kailan flowers in fish and oyster sauce. and a roasted giant field rat...that we skipped.

actually very shiok and bountiful hor our 'simple' dinner. then out of no where, ruan mian mian brought in the homebrew wine....guess what she soaked it with? field rats, grass snakes, centipede and cobra...and i dun want to know anymore what else inside her gory brew.....

....spiders - tarantula, scorpions, and funny fungus like weird shaped lingzhi...etc....*yucks!* all mangled up in home made rice wine.

she said she had kept the whole big urn of wine for special occasion like now. we were returning to HK the next day...and she just had to let us taste it before we leaved...i got a feeling she just wanted me to taste it before i go....cos she dunno when i would be back or when would she be able to see me again...and me...blur blur obliged her by sipping her formidable charpalang brew.....BROOM...OOOM...BROOM...the thunder sounded...FLASH...FLASH....the lightning was threatening the dark night sky.

soon the rains came....so refreshing! it was rather a hot and humid day we were having. this rain just couldn't come in a more timely way....

so here we were the whole bunch of us. we ate. we drank. i drank. she drank. she drank...i drank...and soon...all black off.....

and please....i really din know what happen next...cos the next morning, when we awoke, we were quite groggy...and funny hor...i felt...like dunno what happen last night...

ruan mian mian was especially bashful when she saw me. she handed me my packed luggage and then buzzed off immediately to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. i was like blurred leh.......

after our breakfast, time to say goodbye to thomas and michael who remained as they had their works there to be done.

after handshaking ah chew for his wonderful driving us around and especially he also brought us to a gambling ship by MEKONG RIVER* called NAGA...and let this goon here won like a few hundred bucks in the JACKPOT machines and in US$ some more...i slipped a red packet ang pow for him. he was so happy and shake both my hands profusely...thanking me...like got tears in his eyes too....

next was ruan mian mian's turn. i too slipped an ang pow into her hand while shaking. oh gosh! like felt electricity going through me ....why huh??? was that static i just felt from shaking her hands? dunno...never bother to find out...

ruan mian mian's eyes were already well up in tears...i dunno why?? so...what to do, gave her my leetahsar's bearhug lor...and patted her back...and that was all i remembered i did.....

chew drove us to the rundown national airport...and soon we were on our way back to HK.......

...to be cont'd???

*MEKONG RIVER JOINS 4 NATIONS: CHINA, CAMBODIA, VIETNAM AND THAILAND.....the tourist guide told me while in SIAM REAP.

THE RESTAURANT BY THE RIVER MEKONG......

we were stuffing food into our mouths but our eyes were not on the food. our eyes were fixated on the next table where the gang of soldiers were drinking and feasting on *YUCKS* deep fried locusts, crickets, worms...and the likes...*eee!*

as they were feasting with one hand holding chopsticks, their the other hands were also holding some other things....the bums or the nehs nehs of those chiobus waitressess.

chew told us they were not really waitresses. they were chickens...u know the chick spirits... ok lah! WHORES!

then suddenly there was yelling from one of the guy. looked like he was the chiefy. he stood up and smacked a girl throwing her onto the ground. now our mouths were really wide open ...and the food was not inside but dropping all over the table from our chopsticks.....hahahaha...;9)

funny hor? the fallen chick spirit din cry. instead she slowly crawled up...and omg! one hand caressed the soldier chief's chest and the other rubbing his groin....that stimulated this son of a bitch ( anyone who hits woman qualifies as one), he in one swop carried her up and threw her onto the bed next to the big wooden round table.

next he started stripping the chick and the chick was also busy removing his buttons and pant zipper...and in a matter of seconds, it was a live floor XXX show.

the other soldiers just cheered on. they also went into action and each had a couple of girls to sit on their laps...and they were doing the upward thrusting...my god! it was an orgy here infront of us...and rainbow's boys were below 18....real RA XXX.....

they clapped. they yelled....some of the girls on the soldiers' laps were groaning and moaning in ecstasy. they helped lowered down the translucent white mozzie netting beneath where their chief was gaily humping away the screaming chick. both were in full monty now...and my god! he really humped in different styles some more.

we looked at each other...shocked at what to do. and what could we do? they were the soldiers and now they were the rapists....what to do, went back makan lor. ah chew was glued on instead. skinny as his frame could be, his bloodhound was activated. and gosh! the huge hard size now didn't tally with his skinny small frame...hahahaha...;9)

soon about 10 minutes later, everything end in loud orgasmic moan and groan....the pair of actors wipe themselves clean conveniently with a box of tissue next to the bed. dressed up, they were out of their love nest and back to the big round wooden table drinking their alcohol like as though nothing just happened...like that also can huh?

they continued their merrymaking...drinking, laughing smooching and rubbing each other...then hell! 2 soldier boys grapped each a chicks and jumped onto the bed...and the action repeats in a foursome now....oh my god!!!

we had our fill and sort of got tired with the impromptu floor show...like after one couple finished, the next took over. but funny they only did all this on their side of bed while the one next to us was left untouched...

we were now having desserts and admiring the beautiful water scenery of MEKONG RIVER. Slowly from afar of the horizontal approached a fast buzzling speedboat towards us.

we didn't know what the hell was it....what if it was a torpedo? then how huh? sure die and bombed into smitterens!

before we could said HALLELUJAH! or ORNITOUFO~~, the speedboat berthed alongside a wooden stairscase leading downwards to the water...

"speedboat...speedboat?....US 5 DOLLARS only..." asked the boatman, a scrawny dark guy.

oh, yes,...why not...so off i jumped into the boat after paying my fare. AND HELL!! ready the thrill of my life...the wind shooshing against my face pressing my flesh very tightly....and my specs pressing against my nose bone.....

it was an eye opener for everyone of us. the jacking, the humping and smacking of whores by the soldiers who were suppose to be protector of the civilians....sad....;9)

....to be cont'd

THE RESTAURANT BY THE RIVER MEKONG......
on the road now...suddenly chew's handphone rang. "OK,...ok...ok..." clicked.

chew turned and told me michael and thomas were waiting for us at a very ulu restaurant by the mekong river in one of the outskirt kampong. he was making a detour and taking us there now....imagined if chew were to be a kidnapper, the whole bunch of us would get it, man!!

it was a rocking ride. no road. all mud flats with bumps here and there....but the boys loved it!

finally we saw michael's mpv at the muddy roadside. chew parked his mpv just behind. we alighted and chew brought us to the place after meticulously sliding down a grass slope...crossed a cranky wooden narrow long plank we arrived to a "restaurant" standing on stilts above the bank of RIVER MEKONG......

we walked through a short narrow passage to a big opened dining area. something now right here...how come so big only got 2 big round tables which can see like > 20 people. and where next to each big round wooden table there was another matching big super king size bed with mosquito netting covering over it???

we were about to find out pretty soon after we settled down and ordered our usual uncanny exotic dishes......

half way supping and gulping down the shiok like anything food, a bunch of army guys entered and sat at the next table....there were only two, remember?

a fat lady supposedly to be the lady boss clapped a few loud claps...and from one of the room at the side, entered a bevy of chiobus....i tot "aye, how cum they din serve us just now?"

this bunch of young pretty things...aiyoh...so so chio u know...all wearing hot pants, miniskirts...like wanted to exposed to u like that...wah lau...the guys and the 2 boys all looked at them mouth agape...and i noticed most of us were actually drooling except rainbow who was quite pissed off by our teeko reactions....hahahaha...;9)

.....to be cont'd

THE KILLING FIELDS........CAMBODIA TRAVELOGUE...cont'd

after the makan, michael and thomas drove off in their mpv to work. michael back to his garment factory...and thomas back to the bungalow which is also his office.

now leaving us, rainbow and sons and me. ah chew suggested bringing us to the KILLING FIELDS. a place where many cambodian elites and suppose resistants were brutally massacred....

ok, lor! if not then how....already done so much shopping also quite sian liao!

first he brought us to one museum when it was filled with human skulls...serious no jokes! they even had a kind of map puzzled up by real human skulls of different sizes...meaning the smaller ones were children's and the even smaller ones were babies....eee! very creepy this museum....

next we proceed to the real live killing fields somewhere in the outskirt......

on reaching there....i dunno...i just sensed sorrow and sadness in the air...i just sensed it....i m a pisceans with funny uncanny built-in sensor.

the air smelled of death...sadness and....vengefulness.....

after paying the entrance fees, chew drove the mpv inside and parked. we alighted and it was now free and easy. before we started roaming the vast place, we had to read a big notice board.

WARNING: DO NOT WANDER OFF UNMARKED AREAS. UNDISPOSED MINES MIGHT BE PRESENT. then a skull with 2 skeletons crosses.

the area we noticed was like marked simply with those plastic red/white liners...so we kept within this territory...MINES u know..i definitely want to return home with both legs...

there was a makeshift shelter simply with zinc rooft and wooden stilts. a display board with graphic bloody pics were put up.

they depicted the type of tortures that had taken place...the sadistic inhuman pain and sufferings the victims were put through before mercilessly put to death. and death was by a bullet through the head at pointblank....

nearby to this shelter were hollows in the ground...many many of them. there in the noticeboard, it stated that all these big dug up hollows actually contained mass burial for dead victims of the wars.....

i couldn't help it but there was a strange cold chill creeping up my back.....and the damp air turned different.....

somewhere in the middle of all this gore, there was a glass tower. i think it's about 5 or 6 storeys...can't remember...

there housed within this glass tower were white skulls of the executed victims....piles and piles of it...up to the highest level.....

they segregated out the bones. they had the males one from what age to what age. the females one again the age range....then the other age range...OH MY GOD! such hell actually existed here on earth....and all because of one crazy man POL POT......

A DEVIL HIMSELF breeding all the small sicko little devils to carry out all the murderous hideous task...very sad...;9(

i couldn't help it...i started without knowingly my sutra chanting....and i chanted and chanted with all my sorrowful heart.....and niagra falls auto turn on....and flowing down ....

even kids and babies were not spared in this killing....they were grouped together in another mass of skulls in the display glass tower....

soon...i had to leave...but my heart was really sad and heavy...i just couldn't understand how could human be turned into monster and killed their own kinds so mercilessly....why? was it power that blinded and crazy them into doing such hideous mindless murders?

hundreds of thousands were slaughtered with the slightest reason of suspicion....no trial...nothing...just a bullet through their skulls...and all the skulls on display almost all got a hole in their whiten skull......sad :(

......to be cont'd

cambodia travelogue....cont'd...

we were finally back again to thomas' spacious bungalow. everyone was real shagged! ah chew and ruan mian mian unloaded all our stuffs. goodness! now our rooms seem small cos all packed up with all the "lup sup" (rubbishes we bought). after washed up, all knocked off like a babe....

COCKADODADOOODADOOO....eh? how come this morning the rooster crowed a different tune....and goodness! 10am some more...did we have a pyschic rooster? so clever and let us rest until so late. never slept so shiok since we were here in phnom penn...

michael was at the hall discussing with thomas about something. then they beckoned me to join them in their discussion.

they asked me whether i would like to take the post of HORTICULTURIST in charge of the forestry of trees which thomas' company logged for export back to USA.

i said I think about it...... then tam beckoned me back to the room and talked to me privately. "bob, dun ever take the job..." tam warned me. i was puzzled at the seriousness of his tone. "here full of landmines...u want money or u want ur life?" oh ya hor! i forgot this was cambodia...thought i was in malaysia or what.....

after a quick change, we were on our way for tim sum breakfast in the town.

we just couldn't believe the prices...so so cheap until u could laugh! so everyone started ordering whatever timsums they loved....

i tried the nai wong pow ( or egg custard pow)...hell! the eggs were not fully cooked. i gobbled up one in a bite and within minutes, my tummy were churning ...and churning. oh shit! i needed to go....and double shit!! the toilet was a few blocks away and up a stairs...dun asked i also dunno how come like that...but it was like that.

off i rushed to the 1000 mile away toilet....when i finally found it hidden at one remote corner upstair...i couldn't stand it any longer and ran into the cubicle...but before i could undo my SWAN panty....the niagra fall of shits fell out...shoosh! oh great! my whole SWAN panty was buried in stinky sludge of shits....yucks!

and hell! no toilet paper....what to do? this was what i did...very scary..but really emergency case. after i settled my business, i flush...then flush and washed soiled panty with the water...then used that to wipe my arse clean...NO TOILET PAPERS WHAT...what was i suppose to do?

after cleaned moon and hole, discard SWAN PANTY...so now i was without an undies beneath long pants.

next beckoned and called ah chew over and whispered to him to drive me back to bungalow to get quick change...cos tummy really still hadn't cleared everything out yet...chew deserved a kiss from this goon. he understood and sped me all the way back to the bungalow...

upon reaching, i headed straight for the toilet again...and shoosh....shooosh..pooo...puttt puttt..puttt! hopefully everything came out. and i adjourned to the bathroom and cleaned up. powdered my parts. put on new SWAN PANTY...and off with chew i returned to the chinese restaurant to continue supping my tim sum...so kind of them to leave many for me...hahahaha...;9)

....to be cont'd....next visit to the KILLING FIELDS....

CAMBODIA TRAVELOGUE....CONT'D

when i finally seen almost everything, i decended the narrow steps in gostan manner and on my 4 limbs. on reaching the ground, guessed who was there to greet me?

OH MY GOD!! RUAN MIAN MIAN.....of all the people ...RUAN MIAN MIAN...she brought me cambodian delicacies...goodness! after all the walking, the climbing up and down...i was really famished....so without even thanking her, this piggy went into supping action...slurp...supp...gulp...! wah! shiok hor...!! dunno what was inside...just eat lor!!! slurp ...gulp...sup!!!

the rest of the gang was shocked and looking at me gabs wide opened. oops! forgot to leave for them...tot ruan mian mian bought for them too....NO , SHE DIDN'T...ONLY FOR ME....

anyway, we were on the road again to makan lah ...what else? i very pai seh as i was the only one who got my fill...hahahaha...pai seh...;9)

then it was to those tourist butchering attractions...and there we went again ...loading all the lup sups home again- or rubbishes like what my HKie pal tam pointed out again - ....

the next day we would head back to phnom penn as the tour in SIAM REAP is tentatively ended....of course, ruan mian mian was going back with us....and she actually had a relative here where she was putting up with....

next day, the van was waiting for us in our hotel with ruan mian mian inside the van in anticipation for me of course...and again she brought some shiok food again ...for me only, of course....

this time, i really pai seh...i opened up the package and it was cambodian native kuehs....mostly in sago and polished rice with sweet coconut, peanut or tau sar fillings. this time i shared with them. everyone happy and laughed all the way till we arrived back in phnom penn.....

...to be cont'd

From: leetahsar 16:26
To: leetahmei25 unread 1371 of 1371

83628.1371 in reply to 83628.1369

the year i went to cambodia was 2000....now is 2006...meaning my twins girls the most 6 yrs old...dun tally leh...unless they are mutants affected from the orange agent things....then maybe i got a ROUGE..AND A STORM like the X-MEN....which one u like now? how much ur dowries and ang pows huh?

and i am in the process of writing my travelogue in cambodia now...ruan mian mian is now warming up to me...but this is the jiao liao one ok (extra ingredients added story)....;9)

From: leetahmei25 15:51
To: leesiaomei unread 1369 of 1371

83628.1369 in reply to 83628.1346

mei mei, i got more good news for you. I scan Ruan Mian Mian and Papa LeeTahsar foto. You see, Ruan Mian Mian carry you and leetahsar carry me.

I email foto to korkor work in Singapore. I think we can track down our papa.

I going Singapore 10 days time to look papa.

You see, Papa will give class in gardening here.

http://forums.delphiforums.com/sammyboymod/messages?msg=94885.1

Coffee Shop Talk - FREE GARDENING CLASS BY LTS notify me whenever anyone posts in this discussionSubscribe

From: leetahsar 5-Mar 22:36
To: ALL 1 of 7
94885.1

FREE GARDENING CLASS

conducted by urs truly .

VENUE: TIEN TECK PO YUAN TONG

20, JLN RAMA RAMA OFF BALESTIER

TEL; 6253 0762

DATE STARTING: SUNDAY, 19 MAR '06

REGISTRATION NOW ON...

FEES: F O C and by voluntary donations to temple

DURATION: ABOUT 8 LESSONS...if everyone is engrossed, then it would be continued every sunday...

TIME: 3 pm to about 4 pm

CONTENTS:

1. plants propagations methods

2, anuuals and veggies growing from seeds

3. fertilisers, insecticides and fungicides

4. growing african violets ( my favorite)

5. cacti growing and creating desertscape

6. orchids

7. hydroculture - growing plants in water

8. fruit trees management

9.....may follow up field trips to botanic gardens where i would show u the very interesting things to look out for here....my territory...;9)

so lai ay....come join ah! FREE OF CHARGE AH!!!

and means i will expose myself to u...the face hor...not that part ok!

CAMBODIA TRAVELOGUE....CONT'D...

we finally arrived SIEM REAP. the hydrofoil was too heavy to berth to the jetty. water there too swallow so it stopped somewhere in the middle of the MEKONG RIVER. a long narrow sampan boat with a damn long propeller rode up alongside the stalled hydrofoil.

everyone were instructed to alight onto the thin rocking incessantly sampan. i was first one to alight. being plump and clumsy, i thought just jump chun chun on the narrow landing front plank would do the trick. so i jumped....

hell! due to my heavy body mass, the front tilted downwards. i fell backwards with my shoulder sling bag immersed into the murky water. luckily i grabbed it with my right hand if not sure lost my luggage.

the boatman was terrified and hurried forward to grab me. worst, his advancing towards me shifted more weight to the already lopsiding front almost half in water now. looked like any moment me going into the water too.

but surprise surprise!! action = reaction. just as i thought i was slipping into the water, the skinny sampan rebounded the other way round like a see saw. the tail part flipped down; the head part flipped upwards bouncing me erect on my foot. it was really comical! and this action knocked the approaching rescuing boatman off balance....and he fell into the murky water instead of me...i was now standing upright as though nothing happened...hahahahah....;9)....

after a brief struggling in water, the boatman was up into the rocking sampan...and the rest of the passengers seeing this incident avoided our sampan. in the end, we had the entire sampan which could take about 20 people all to ourselves...blessing in disguise...courtesy from this comical goon...hahahahaha...;9)

the super speed skinny sampan in no time brought us to the muddy flat riverbank where everyone hopped out. there a cambodian guide was waiting for us....

before we hopped into a waiting van, he cautioned us in a dead serious tone: "PLS do not wonder off untracked pathways....got hidden mines not dug out yet....here we have the most amputees in the world...so pls don't anyhow ventured out in unmarked territory....'

after that brief, solemn and intimidating pep talk he took us to makan....then to our hotel where we rested.

once inside the hotel room, i opened my bag. oh shit!! tonnes of river water with a few ikan bilis flowed out.....all my undies were wet..that time...no ck briefs ...only china-made super absorbent SWAN panties....and they were really soaked...with some tiny ikan bilis....hell! how i knew what kind of tiny little fishes are those!! sticking all over my cotton briefs and other clothings.

i hung everything out to sun and dry lor...and hell! the sun here was really hotter than ours back home....

after wash up and a quick nap, the tour guide's van arrived. off we went to ANGKOR WAT.....

the guide brought us to some ulu pasar malam where they sold mostly craft works like straw hats, bamboo flutes, cravings, etc....being a damn hot day, i bought bamboo flutes and a pair of straw hand weaved hats...4 items for only US1...so cheap hor.... i gave the extra hat to rainbow and goodness we looked like a cowboys couple......and made the children who sold it to me so so happy...like i kena ketok already...maybe they mean in DONG.....their local useless currency....and i think US1 = 1000 dongs...something like that.....so maybe it was 10 dongs...and i gave US1....no wonder they were laughing like kena lottery like that...hahahahah....;9)

finally...finally we were at the fame mysterious ANGKOR WAT. here we were standing and already awed by the majestic entrance of this palace/temple of once a grandiose dynasty ruled over cambodia....it was really beautiful and awesome.

a concrete hand cut stone path led up to the main entrance. there was a moot below surrounded by water and was supposed to be infested with crocodiles...the palace was in the middle of a huge water lilies and lotuses pond where many funny scary creatures like crocs lurked.

we entered the first segment of this intricate palace....the main features were stone handcrafted heads of the 4-faced buddha which the guide explained in mandarin were not real buddha. they were rather the watcher and guards to the buddha...

everywhere in this now dilapidated palace, there were this 4-headed craved out figures.....and most were already infested with either lichens or mosses...they were really a few hundreds years old already....

then there were ancient ficus trees which roots grown into the hand crafted boulders which built up this palace...and in a way, the roots held the boulder in place otherwise they would just crumple away in a heap of rubble.

there were different "rooms" here and there and most occupied by a statue of the buddha or multi-arms lord siva...an influence from hindi. unfortunately, most were headless. we were told their heads had been robbed and show by thieves. some even had all their arms chopped away to be sold off...sad..:(

we were told that the ancient cambodian princess married an indian hindi prince and hence the cultural designed and religion of this place was so like hindu sculptures in india.

monks were everywhere inside there asking for alms...and many peace loving cambodians willingly offer their modest donations generously though poor themselves in terms of money or food or flowers. in return the monks blessed them by sprinkling holy water over the devotees' heads....

then we came to the king lodge. it was on a very high level. to get there we had to climb up a very steep again hand crafted narrow stone stairs....and off i started climbing using both hands and feet. u couldn't walk up erect due to the narrowness. u do that, sure u will roll down and break a neck!

....to be cont'd

CAMBODIA TRAVELOGUE.....cont'd

i am puzzled until today u know....can some one tell me : could we set alarm clock...especially ur alarm clock is a rooster...

COCKADOO.DOOD..DOOO!!! 3.30am. rooster alarm woke us up...so surprise! how cum rooster knew we were chasing 5am hydrofoil ferry...

everything for breakfast was laid on the table for us. RUAN MIAN MIAN made congee. she offered me one special large bowl...with something extra inside...omg! hardboiled turtle eggs....power to the john!...the rest only tiny quail eggs...

after a real hearty meal, ah chew was waiting at the mpv ready to send us to the jetty for the river cruise. ruan mian mian offered to carry my little luggage...and she stuffed something in...dunno what...din observed much really ...cos eyes were still a slit and half sleeping...

the morning crisp air was fantantic! so different from us here. really the type that could re-vitalise the soul...was quite awake now and hurriedly hopped onto the waiting ferry. ah chew who tried to be clever took a wrong short cut turn that ended into a long cut instead.

everyone of us rainbow, michael, thomas, tam, sam, eric and me all settled ourselves to our allocated seat. instead of enjoying the river sights, the whole bunch dozed off.....

about an hour later, i awoke. i remembered ruan mian mian stuck something into my shoulder sling bag. i checked. goodness! so thoughtful of her. she made sandwiches for me. well, the rest of the gang got to buy their lunch abroad while lucky me just sup the damn shiok sandwiches...hahahaha....;9)

then i and the boys, sam and eric climbed up the ferry to its rooftop to enjoy the river breeze and the beautiful tranquil river sceneries....many ang mors were also up here lazing so carefree on the rooftop....sipping beers.

there were wooden huts on stilts...like a kelong except smaller and dotted all over the river....then wah lau eh! naked women bathing just like that...and naked men too...and naked children...and omg! naked lau nee por (sagging breasts) of old ladies doing that too...it was such an innocent sight to behold! they just squatted around a floating wooden platform and bathed themselves merrily away ignoring the passing hydrofoil. the children however was friendly and excited. they waved and yelled at us....smiling and laughing away...an indeed childhood reminder of myself in my kampong days.......

.....to be cont'd

From: leetahsar 13:53
To: postnew 1364 of 1371

83628.1364 in reply to 83628.996

a kiss is but a kiss...it's what that's in ur mind that think it's not a simple kiss....

a kiss from leetahsar...is as innocent as a newborn babe....it's an appreciation to u....my dear du di....;9)

i kiss the sick...the healthy....the children...the adults...the girls ....the man...the chiobu...the chiohunks....the lau huay...the lau hans....the pretty...the ugly.....the shiny skinned type...the gall infested type....

A KISS IS BUT A KISS....IT'S WHAT THAT'S GOING ON IN UR MIND....ornitoufu to u.....;9)

cambodia travelogue....cont'd...RUAN MIAN MIAN

after the queer dinner of exotic meats, everyone was damn full and ah chew drove us back in thomas' mpv....

all were tired and we hit the shack the moment we reached the bungalow.

CUCKADOODOO!!...Ya, we were awaken not by the alarm clock but by a proud rooster that kept screeching damn loud.

our bodyguard cum driver was now also the chef. he made a simple breakfast for everyone. there were eggs...plentiful. thanks to our cock with his brood of chiohens and chicks. so the breakfast was boiled eggs, scrambled eggs, poached eggs, sunny eggs....all eggs with bread and butter and tea or coffee or milk....

after that, we headed out to the vast garden. so many fruit trees but the one that caught our eyes was a mango tree loaded with elephant-tusk mango. without further ado, we grabbed a pole with an attached bag and started to pluck the big tempting mango.

it was such fun....and it sort of brought me back through time when i was a kampong boy in BANSIEWSAN.....

From: leetahsar 10:16
To: postnew 1354 of 1371

83628.1354 in reply to 83628.1352

in that case i call u wo xin or heartless for treating sifu thus....;9(

then michael arrived in his mpv - a toyota 7 seaters picnic. both he and thomas hurried us to change cos bringing us to a damn shiok hotel INTERCONTINENTAL HOTEL to sup tim sum.

everyone was real excited and in a jiffy all ready to go.

it was a beautiful hotel in a luscious natural setting and was told it was the similar one operated by sinkieland.

we took a lift all the way up the highest floor to savour our damn shiok tim sum - HK STYLE. as it was cny period, after settling the bill, the captain gave us each and ang pow. no joke! inside there was 100 dong - the currency there....useless one worst than rupiahs! 100 dong is like only 5c S$.

after the makan, ah chew drove us to a very retro market...sorry forgotten what's the name...it was supposedly a russian railway station i was told....and now converted into a market...the design kinda looked like our LAU PAR SA except it was many times bigger and crowded.

michael and thomas went back to their daily works leaving us with chew. chew warned us not to give any money to beggars who were abundant there. he stressed if we started giving alms hor...many would start flocking to us like bees to honey...and some of them might start pickpocketting from us. so our alert on our wallets was on....

true enough. amputee beggars were many there. young and old .....and surprising all males. before the entrance to the market which consisted of many entrances N, S, E, W, there were a stall with a few opened baskets display. guess what they were selling?

INSECTS...MY GOD! INSECTS!!! fried chilli locusts, crickets, deep fried scorpions, worms (??), silkworms larvae,...and the most interesting black scary boiled water beetles.

i was wondering how cum all over the ground there were insects shells...the exo-skeleton of the beetle wings....now i got my answer. i observed how the ladies ate the water beetles. they prised open the 2 large hard wings, broke it, threw in on the ground and crunch the insect like peanuts....no joke! made my tongue really stuck out!

yes...u guess it...this greedy piggy went there to try a bite on every insects except the water beetle. sampled only din buy...hahahaha...;9)

there were alot of stuffs they sold there. precious gemstones, silver stuffs, brass statues....etc...the one that caught rainbow and our eyes were a funny looking "tricks" jewellery boxes made out of rosewood...damn cheap only US$3. the box was designed into different animals of the horoscope and to open it, really must crack ur mind. it was really complicated opening up the box which revealed different sized mini compartments inside...

next was the brass small figurines which was like only 7 pcs for US$1 and the ebony carvings...wow! that i loved. i bought a black ebony GANESHA - the hindu elephant god. was told that the ganesha they carved out was very special cos his nose tilted right instead of left....or was it the other way round...anyway such directioned nose mean more power to the statue....i gave that to my 2nd sis...and she like me always strike lottery..she strikes means i strike...cos she pay commission to me saying her luck has never been so good after i gave her that GANESHA which fyi is also the hindu version of GOD OF FORTUNE....

after much shopping, everyone was packed to the neck with all the charpalang stuffs bought. rainbow and her 2 sons, eric and sam bought so much like they could pai tong (set up stall) when they returned to HK...hahahaha...;9)

....to be cont'd

when all our shopping was done, gosh! time really flies when u were enjoying urself!

chew came to look for us and told us that thomas and michael were waiting for us at the bungalow for dinner. we were supposed to go back asap to prepare.

anyway we had done most of the shopping...and we went back....

on reaching home, there was a young jambu lady who greeted us....she was RUAN MIAN MIAN.....(THUNDERSTORM?)...no lah...not yet lah.

RUAN MIAN2 caught this chiohunk here...and vice versa. alamak! like got sparks flying out u know...hahahaha...;9)

michael had sent RUAN MIAN MIAN over to be our "maid". u know to wash our laundry, do the cleaning...and maybe to cook supper if necessary...especially this piggy here need food almost every hour...hahahaha ...;9)

RUAN MIAN MIAN approached me bashfully and tried to carry my stuffs to my room. our hands touched...and THE HILLS ARE ABLAZED ....WITH SOUND OF MUSIC....i liked almost heard julie andrews blasting out this song....hahahha...

RMM's faced turned pinky...omg! mine turned red...like the char siew piggy...we blushed...looked at each other big round gazing eyes...blushed some more.....:)

...to be cont'd

From: leetahsar 5-Mar 12:51
To: leetahmei25 1345 of 1371

83628.1345 in reply to 83628.1344

hold on a second? leetahmei25*......shit! it's u kei75 right....u r not mei25...all the 5...is it u??

dun drive sifu kuku lei? i m now a blur sotong swimming in circles u know....;9(
From: leesiaomei 5-Mar 11:38
To: leetahmei25 1346 of 1371

83628.1346 in reply to 83628.1340

Dear JieJie Leetahmei25,

im sooooo happy u managed to find me instead.PAPA Leetashar refused to acknowledge us as his flesh n blood!!!im already so heartbroken oven MAMA untimely death yet due with another big blow!!!!just bcos i spell his name incorrectly he denied we are his children!!!!!!!!!what should we do in order for him to acknowlege us and ''huan'' MAMA yi ke qing Bai!!i didnt know MONK WANNA BE have to be a "virgin".ANYWAY HE WASNT ONE LONG TIME AGO.............SINCE HE FATHERED US.........................................................................

From: leetahsar 5-Mar 23:51
To: leesiaomei 1347 of 1371

83628.1347 in reply to 83628.1346

BUT I AM INNOCENT....!!!! OH MY MERCIFUL BUDDHA!!!

HOW HUH???

From: BabaEro11 09:39
To: leetahsar 1350 of 1371

83628.1350 in reply to 83628.1347

Pare, you can forget to be a monk.

Never knew you have twins daughters. So big already.

How can you claim to be a virgin when you have twin daughters? Maybe your twin daughters are still virgins.

From: leetahsar 09:46
To: BabaEro11 1351 of 1371

83628.1351 in reply to 83628.1350

pare, maybe hor...just maybe only lah...dun angry....

U CAN ALSO BE MY SON U KNOW....I MEAN I FIRED SUUPER SPERM MISSISLE ...AND POP, U DROPPED OUT...AND FED U WITH SUPER FAST GROWING HORMONE...and here u are....my long lost son too...

a goon talk, dun be offended ok......;9)

From: postnew 10:03
To: leetahsar 1352 of 1371

83628.1352 in reply to 83628.1349

what wo kong..?

kong your goondu head..

From: leesiaomei 4-Mar 16:06
To: leetahsar 1337 of 1371

83628.1337 in reply to 83628.1330

Dear Leetarshar,

i noe AH KONG LAU HAU KU is a super powerful missiles shooter!!LIKE FATHER LIKE SON!!U INHERITED HIS CANNON without realising it!!!

On that lei dian jiao jia wan siang cant u remeber a anything at all???jie jie and me are twins frm ur powerful missiles!!we are born minutes apart frm each other!!!!!!those wines u guys bought to cambodia contains very high alcohol contains!!!as i heard frm auntie lucy!!u were already smiling n singing the whole nite!!!and could tell u were drunk!!!i guess at That time u already forgotton ur dream to be a monk and even forget ur own name!!!

how i wish mama can get up frm her grave n tell u straight in the face we are indeed ur daughters!!!!so many yrs have passed!and u dun even remember a single thing on that fateful day!!!we are ur creations with MAMA!!!!

From: leetahsar 4-Mar 16:50
To: leesiaomei 1338 of 1371

83628.1338 in reply to 83628.1337

TIAN AH....!!!! *TOK TOK TOK TOK...CHENG...CHENG CHENG....**(opera drumming sounded...)

this cannot be happening to me....may the mercy of buddha be on me....!.....


confirmed! u r not my girl...u addressed to ....I M LEETAHSAR....it must be the other guy...the monk in BROKENECK TEMPLE....he's identical to me...

can u please go look for him...and pls be careful of that botak...oopss...forgot...if u r boy boy...u be careful. since u girl girl ...u r quite safe

so...shoo!...go look for the other botak...HE'S UR OLD MAN!

From: leetahmei25 4-Mar 18:03
To: leesiaomei 1340 of 1371

83628.1340 in reply to 83628.1337

mei mei, Im jie jie. I find you now. I so happi n sad to hear Ruan Mian Mian passed away. Mei mei, good news. todae hospital tel me our DNA match the stains in the old cotton underpant Ruan Mian Mian preserv in the bag.

Leetahsar is our papa.

From: leetahmei25 4-Mar 18:04
To: leetahsar 1341 of 1371

83628.1341 in reply to 83628.1338

Papa, why you dont recognise us? Mei mei and I are twins. Our DNA match your underpant stains.

From: leesiaomei 4-Mar 21:01
To: leetahsar 1342 of 1371

83628.1342 in reply to 83628.1338

did u ever been been duped into cloning??or else how could there be anyone who look extactly like u??im sure u are my birth father,why are u soooo heartless for not willing to admit me as ur long lost daughter!!!!!!!!!!and jiejie is somewhere out there waiting for u too!!!

u are just a monk wanabe not a real monk of course u are my father!!!!

From: leetahsar 5-Mar 12:48
To: leesiaomei 1343 of 1371

83628.1343 in reply to 83628.1342

???B L U R ???


From: leetahsar 5-Mar 12:49
To: leetahmei25 1344 of 1371
83628.1344 in reply to 83628.1340

???B L U R ???

lagi blurrer???

THE ANGER WITHIN US

anger is a very negative force that makes a person immuned to his own compassion....in other words, it kills ur supposedly warm compassionate heart....

i had written once before...WE MUSTN'T LET DEAD PUSSIES OR HOUNDS affect the live ones....FOR THEM, IT'S ALREADY GAME OVER....but the living still need to live...and live it well and happy...

whoever dies...s/he already ended all the bad karmic relationship with u...IT'S GAME OVER for s/he. but urs...the living one has yet to write ur life story....u can be sadistic and ends it will sulking and suffering forever after...which sadly is the usual case most people here do...:(

OR....u can end it...living and enjoying happily ever after....like what this goon does...:)

that's why i said ONLY THE LAND WITHIN OUR HEART ROTS...wherever u can be ...it's actually a heaven....

it's ur mentality at looking at things...heaven and hell is within the person at the same...it's up to him to choose.

pls forgive me...but from where i sense u...u r blaming the whole world except urself....

if u can just calm ur egoistic mind...and return to ur compassionate heart...u will realise...everything will open up and reveal itself to u....u will understand...not the world is at fault...but u urself...u can't accept the things that are happening around u....

but once, u embrace that compassion within u...everything will feel so light...u must learn to let go...and kuah puah...and the darkness in u will shine brightly again...

PEACE BE WITH U....

*....humble golden words from this goon called leetahsar....onitoufo to u....:9)

and suddenly out of the blue, this posting came:
From: leesiaomei 4-Mar 03:44
To: leetahsar 1329 of 1371

83628.1329 in reply to 83628.1311

Dear Leetashar,

Mama name is Ruan MianMian.Im indeed ur long lost daughter .the nite was tian da lei pi(raining cats n dogs)MAMA N AUNTIE LUCY was being hosts to u guys and was drinking alot of beer!!!!then THUNDER STRUCK!!!!Me and jiejie was ur creation !after nite of passion!!!!!!cant u remember a thing at all???fancy MAMA still calling out ur name when she was breathing her last breath!!!!!u really cant remember anything at all????????????????????????????????????????????

MY REPLY:
CHOTTO MATTE!!! HOLD ALL UR HORSES!! u mean u got another jiejie....hold on...hold on...!! this is getting very confusing...i only went once to cambodia...how can there be 2 of u?

OH MY GOD!!! DUN TELL ME....RUAN MIAN MIAN FIRED OUT 2 GIRLS......TWINS!!!

TIAN AH....I AM INNOCENT 我 是 冤 惋!!!!

HELLO...AH MEI...u r not one of my godsons ...playing a joke on me hor....? cos i can sense one u know...i can tell who u know dun pray pray hor...I SUE U THEN U KNOW HOR....to ruin my monk wannabe dream....:9(

NB: i dun drink alcohol...i only sip a bit of red/white wine...

From: leetahsar 21:26
To: God's Ultimate Weapon (QuanHuang) unread 9 of 9

94570.9 in reply to 94570.6

{I sure would love rotting islands if I were a visitor or a foreigner :)}

the rotting is within u...not the island where u are a visitor....

like for me, a backward place like cambodia....is also heaven to me....ornitoufo....

whatever rots we feel that's happening around us...is actually our own rots. it mirrors onto the sight we are seeing...and we scorn, mock and laugh at it...when the rots is actually within us....

emptiness is form...form is emptiness...

what we thought we have just seen is not we are seeing...and what we thought we are not seeing is actually what we should be seeing....

use ur compassionate heart to think; dun like ur egostic brain tricks u into an illusive dream...

ornitoufo...humble words from the goon...

Coffee Shop Talk - every land is good except the one within Subscribe
From: leetahsar 2-Mar 13:52
To: ALL 1 of 6

94570.1

every land is good...what's bad is the land inside our hearts....the land of no compassion, no mindfulness,....land of envy, land of mischiefs.....everything except a piece of land within which we can truly call HEAVEN ON THIS LAND....OUR COMPASSIONATE HEART....ornitoufo....humble words from this golden goon....

finally the small cambodia airline hit the tarmac road of cambodia airport. it landed with a terrible screehing. rough landing.

the hatched door opened up. we alighted. hell! this was like our ancient sinkietown paya lebar airport. no shelter walkway. it was damn hot and open and we had to walk quite a distance in the sun to reach the custom.

once there, rainbow told us each to give US$10 to the custom to speed up our processing of passports so that we could F off from here.

NOTE: CAMBODIA POLICE - THE AUTHORITY WERE ALSO THE HIGHWAY ROBBERS. everything must be bribed if not they give u problem and make u suffer pain pain....which explained the US10 bribe each to the custom. we had a smooth passage where we exit the airport to a waiting mpv.

there the driver, ah chew greeted us. ah chew for ur info doubled up as our bodyguard. dun pray pray hor...this blur kaypoh goon for nothing go open the dashboard cabinet...and out popped several kinds of guns...yes guns...big magnum and pistols...like got 3. another one dunno what.

i was shocked. i looked at chew expecting an explanation. "sorry sir! this cambodia...not sinkietown...any moment there can be political unrest..." chew explained. good! that was exactly what i need to hear for an "exciting" and fearful stay....:(

the whole wide road was in such a messy activites invaded by haphazard motorbikes, scooters, bicycles...and even bullock carts....my god!! chew was a damn good driver. he snaked in and out of those pesky bikes who to my surprise could even sit the whole family of 7 persons...first time i saw such acrobatic "mpv" bikes.....hahahaha..

finally we reached thomas' residence. it was like in a funny street called MAO TSE TUNG ROAD...or something like that...a few house away to his big bungalow was sinkieland embassy...US embassy, japan embassy...etc...all the embassies located on this road.

thomas' first word was a warning and instruction: "If anyyhing bad happen hor, pls everyone run to the embassy a few houses away....dun pack...just run hor...remember huh!!" he said in in such solemnly seriousness....

everyone dropped their luggages, bathed and rest for a while and tried to get use to this humongous house. the room i shared with tam was bigger than my pigeonhole flat back home. no joke! some more there was an attached toilet which was the size of my hall with a bath-tub i think i could swim in it!

everyone rested, we changed and headed for makan. ah chew drove us to a funny looking restaurant by the road.

it was ok...like those in matland type...very retro type with big round table like can sit the whole village kind.

michael, the hubby of rainbow, started placing order. One double boiled turtle whole. 3 flying foxes in garlic and special sauce. 3 squirrels deep fried. 1 toman steamed in special sauce again. half curry rabbit. fresh water giant prawns - the one with pincers type. 4 monitor lizards drumstick braised. one piece giant python shredded meat with veggies.

then michael asked whether we would like appetitiser....me blur blur asked what they had....DEEP FRIED LOCUST. BRAISED CRICKETS, bbq cicada larvae, deep fried scorpions....spiders...their brand name dish...tarantula goreng with special prawn paste sauce....

yucks! skip!! skip skip skip!!!

.....shiok!! all the exotic dishes....damn shiok! the turtle soup was my favourite! flying foxes as i was chewing one piece, i spitted some funny things insides.....my god! iron pellet...u know they used a shotgun to kill the fly foxes...and some of those tiny pellets were still in their dead carcass...yucks!!

squirrels...damn shiok!! tasted like chicken meat. the steam toman in garlic, wow! damn damn shiok! the curry rabbit tasted abit funny...a kind of strong aroma from the meat. the shredded python meat with veggies...good like anything....monitor lizards drumsticks...surprising like chicken meat leh.....

overall....SHIOK KA BEI HIAO SHIOK!!! (damn damn shiok!)

....to be cont'd

THE DAUGHTERS OF LEETAHSAR....

......fiction hor, me still golden virge in mint condition

out of the blue, thunder striked...i got a knee jolting email from someone called leesiamei. she claimed to be my long lost daughter from...of all places - CAMBODIA.

yes, lovely beautiful cambodia. i was there once with my best hk pal. his brother was posted here to handle the logging of trees. and they needed a horticulturist...namely me.

off i went to meet up my hk pal in hk where he returned there every year like migratory bird. he had already migrated to vancouver with his family. in hk, he still had a flat.

he had asked me to join him there saying that his brother, thomas wanted to meet me to discuss employing as the horticulturist overseeing the vast piece of virgin jungle where logging was then taking place.

i met tam, my best pal for almost 25 yrs liao in hk CHEK LAP KOK AIRPORT. He had aged. me ....funny not a day. he was very surprised to see me in my 25yrs old pattern.

"Bob...u r BOB, right?!!" tam asked the moment he saw me exiting the custom.

"tam! can't u recognize me?" i was a bit shock he asked.

"but u din age a day.....u r the same fattie i met 25yrs ago in Botanic garden college in sinkietown...." tam was astonished how youthful ...er...and fat i was.

"yes dear tam...me lah...the fat boy Bob...what u expect?" and we hugged and pat each other backs...it was been a long time....the last time i was staying with him in vancouver for like months....where me and his whole family went to Kewlona to pluck cherries, peaches and apples..that would be another of my travelogue tale...REAL ONE HOR...

first thing first. he brought me to buy a MTR FARECARD...very important. after that we exited the airport, boarded a bus which took us all the way over CHING MAH KEOW (the suspended bridge that linked lantau island where the airport is located to HK island)....

it was a long ride. soon we alighted at CAUSEWAY BAY. so touching that tam. he insisted on carrying my lagguage. by the way, only one small bag. and me carrying all the ting ting tang tang gifts of plastic bags. i got kilos and kilos of bak kwas....pork, beef and ostrich. he loved sinkietown bak kwas (the sweet bbq meat).

after a short walk we reached an apartment. up the lift we went to the flat which transformed into a service kind of apartment.

opening the door to greet me was Kwong Tai...the lau auntie owner of the premises. she was hokien...goodie ka di lan (own people). she led us to the room she had prepared in advance for us..

properties by the way in CAUSEBAY is damn expensive. this is like our ORCHARD RD here. a very conveniently located service apartment.

it was chinese new year then. the moment kwong tai saw me, i wished her KONG HEI FATT CHOY...and she Kong back to me..and presto! she gave me ang pow....no joke! of course, as instructed prior to my arrival by tam, i handed kwong tai one of my plastic bag of bak kwa. she was so happy....

after i had settled down, tam get into serious business. he had booked for me a ticket to PHNOM PEHN, CAMBODIA, 2 days from now. we are going together with his sister-in-law, RAINBOW and her 2 sons, SAM and ERIC.

RAINBOW'S hubby, MICHAEL was also in cambodia running a garment factory. tam's elder brother, THOMAS was also there handling the logging operation and export to canada.

HK this time of the year during chinese new year is freaking cold. the northern cold wind blew down from china was really freezing....and because of the cold, we had hk styled steam boat.

i also enjoyed the different kinds of snake meat thrown into a big pot. but the most interesting one would be the hotel buffet. my goodness! damn long and so many things to wallop.

tam also brought me to VICTORIA PARK where there was cny sales carnival...there were so many stores selling those kittycats that sinkie fought over for it during the macdonald's promotion...there it was so cheap. like only a pair for HK$20..any pair including the millenium one. and there were so many cute cute ones we dun have it here. of course i bought cos the sisters were also crazy over these cats.

for 2 nights, i spent hours and hours here. so many things to see and buy. all damn cheap. tam was unhappy and complained that i was buying la sup (rubbish)!

soon it was the day to depart to cambodia with RAINBOW, SAM and younger brother ERIC....

and off we flew to cambodia...here we come!

and i had to clarify with jixiaolan:

but I AM REALLY INNOCENT....SOME JOKER PLAYING PRANKS ON ME...never mind...i already sensed who was it .....must be sibeikang...joking on me...cos i wrote too much about his teetujia....and wifey now knows about it....

but wifey now steady poon pee pee...very obliging liao....and closes one eye...already i had cleared their triple misunderstanding between sbk, cjg and ttj....and i think and hope the 3 jokers are now good pals...but hopefully they dun start to be so good...they ve regular threesome orgies...hahahaha...;9)

so i reply her lor...*scratching my head*:

From: leetahsar 16:40
To: leesiaomei unread 1309 of 1323

83628.1309 in reply to 83628.1308

THUNDERSTORM....!!!!BRUMMM...BRUMMM...!!

LIGHTNING FLASH....!!! FLASH....!!!

冤 惋 啊！！！

yes, i had been to cambodia but it was for tree hunting not mei mei spider hunting...mei mei there eat spiders for snacks...me not really that horny type....

who's ur mum...oh my god....dun tell me...u r...u...r...ruan mian mian's daughter....sorry ...ur mum and me...only good friends....did we did anything? give me a few days i goston to the time i met ur mum...

goodness new story going to start soon...lai ya! lai ya! get ur ticket to the next exciting story....

DID LEETAHSAR GOT LAID BY RUAN MIAN MIAN IN CAMBODIA?.....

PS. i ledi dunno who this leesiaomei who claims to be my long lost daughter...anyway...she just inspired me to a new kay liao (extra ingredients added) story for my cambodia trip which let me rewind...and compile...be back soon...buy ur tickets hor....see u in a while...jialat....was i being raped by ruan mian mian....when she poured me those ???toddy???

From: leetahsar 16:55
To: leesiaomei unread 1311 of 1323

83628.1311 in reply to 83628.1308

>

auntie lucy...?? is her real name lu luc chee..the one with the bosom as big as the cow's udder?

pls girl....dun anyhow ruin this monk wannabe...if u said like that means...my monk dream is over liao...jialat...r u sure u r my er...daughter???

i couldn't remember bonk any mei mei...or being laid by any mei mei...the only one i knew is ruan mian mian...is she ur mum?....mati...u r making me blur like a sotong now going in circles leh....

pls leh...not every guy with a moustache is ur father, man...can say properly or not.....;9(

我 現 在 跳 進 黃 河 也 洗 不 掉！！！
translated: I JUMP INTO THE HUANG HO RIVER ALSO CAN WASH AWAY MY INNOCENCE......;9(

and my good diciple jixiaolan lupped me another kick to my groin...ouch!
From: 纪晓岚 (jixiaolan) 18:08
To: leetahsar 1319 of 1323

83628.1319 in reply to 83628.1317

Should be 你現 在 跳 進 黃 河 也 洗 不 清了！！！

Golden virgin ! ! ! Phui ! ! !

Mr Lee Tah Sar - 名誉扫地

and out of no where i got this mysterious postings to me claiming that the writer is my "long lost daughter"...oh my god! what else is going to happen to me next??

From: leesiaomei 12:28
To: leetahsar 1308 of 1323

83628.1308 in reply to 83628.1299

Dear LEETAHSAR,

I HOPE U WOULDNT BE SHOCKED BY MY Mail.Im Leesiaomei frm cambodia,IM YOUR DAUGHTER .i had a hard time trying to locate u after MAMA died .lUCKILY HEAVEN TOOK PITY ON ME and i managed to find Auntie lucy and she told me the last time she heard frm ppl that u are in spore.i pray n pray that i can fulfilled mum's wishes to find u and acknowlege u as my father!!!Jiejie Leetahmei is still in cambodia and i cant find her yet!!!we were so poor and mummy had no choice but to give jiejie up for adoption.FRm there we dun have contacts with her anymore. it has been so many years and since i can find u i hope that we can find jiejie too!!Pls PAPA LEETAHSAR,PLS REPLY ME .



YOUR LONGLOST DAUGHTER

UPHEAVAL APPROACHING AT 12 'O CLOCK.....

I c n p the latest email from my indo chiobu....looks like the freaking rich indo bf planning to dump her...and now she's like heading this way back for me...jialat!! HELPPPP!!!....

my dearest booob......

haha..haa....you always knw how to say things in such a way taht ppl jz have to agree with you. well, that's very true...therefore I look for you for advice, yes? :)

Abt my indo bf, thank you for all the things you wrote, but Booboo, tell you the truth, I'm feeling hurt inside me seeing him treating me this way....he didn't call or text me for almost two weeks...& for the time he was treating me so nice & made me having a hope on him...he knew that I care so much for him. I feel very lausy...really. I dunno how to describe the feeling I have now to you but I'm thinking to drop him. How can I put so much hope on a guy that dun even give me any form of care or attentions?
Like you said, it shld be both ways rite? he has all the rite to consider or to choose since he's bloody rich but he doesn't mean he can jz play with ppl feeling rite?

It's my fault b000boo...that';s why I got hurt again. I thought he is worth all the effort but sad to say he never even find time to knw me better, how can he see all the good in me to match him? Bro, you told me all the rite things but here I'm struggling to cope with ppl that so inconsiderate....I'm so restless.
am i rite to say, If a guy really interested in a girl, he'll try to do any kind of things to knw her better plus dating her out rite? I accept now that he doesn't have the same feeling like I have so forget it then. we can't force things to happen, can we?
I jz need somebody that knw how to treasure me, honest & be responsible in whtever he does. money is something B0obooo, but surely not everything. We'll see wht happens ok. I'll update you on that.

In the meantime, I dun care whether you are retire with no income, to me you are always my BoBoo as well as my best friend. those things shld be the last thing that you need to worry, ok Booboo?

Take care & miss you alot......*kiss, kiss..hug hug*

LEETAHSAR MEETS LEETARSAH.....

what am i suppose to do? tarsah thought to himself....hell! join them lah...let's have a threesome...so the 3 monkies rock the bed.......refer to pics from postnew....

and finally tarsah is in control. he is top of the top of the bottom....hahahaha....

the end? u want me to continue or the end?.......

prologue: remember the thread how i picked up a ck briefs...well now u know the origin of that ck which landed in the public pool where leetahsar swam....and not leetarsah....r and h spelling hor...if u are sharp....that sah is not this sar ok....got'cha!!....hahahaha......;9)

yes...by now u should ve realised whose the original owner of the found ck briefs which urs truly is now wearing...hahahaha....

and the response for reader comes in....

my reply:
To: painneck (goutyneck) 1303 of 1307

83628.1303 in reply to 83628.1297

can break other thingies or not, like a limb or rib?


or bloodhound...OUCH!!!

From: leetahsar 00:04
To: postnew 1304 of 1307

83628.1304 in reply to 83628.1298

ok...broken and burst one ball can...? leave the other to propagate...;9)

From: leetahsar 00:37
To: leetahsar 1305 of 1307

83628.1305 in reply to 83628.1302

LEETAHSAR MEETS LEETARSAH.....

me leetahsar was joyfully floating in the public pool....not a care in me. free like a soaring bird....free like the ocean salmon....free....*BANG*....with a free baluku in the head :(

i was back crawling looking at the soft clouds in the sky...and now FREE BALUKU....who the hell banged into my head! hell! damn painful, u know!!

i erected and stood on water. turned round i looked menacingly at the culprit...my god! my exact double - leetarsah. "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!!" both of us asked at the same time....

"I AM LEETAHSAR!"..."I AM LEETARSAH!" same time answered back, too.

shit!! if this continues hor...everyone will go crazy and become goon like me...:)

the 2 sar/sah each got a baluku (swollen head) after the heads collision. both jumped out of the pool and headed simultaneously to the changing room.

there inside the changing room. they stripped to their undies.

leetarsah looked at leetahsar...and vice versa...(me also getting confusing now)...and leetahsar looked at leetarsah...and vice versa again....

"OIY! how cum u r wearing ck briefs?" both blurted out the same question again at the same time...shit! like talking to a mirror..except this is not a mirror but an exact leetahsar clone in the form of leetarsah...(???blurring liao???)

leetarsah: " ur ck undies looks familiar...where did i see it the last time?....."

leetahsar: "what?! dun tell me it's yours, hor...i picked one ok..."

leetarsah: " yes!!! it's belong to botaky....who the hell are u? u botaky's sidetrack lover or what? how cum u wearing his undies?"

leetahsar: "what, what? what botaky....bo sen li..i know...botaky i dunno lei...i ledi dunno leh..." *scratching head*

leetarsah: "me power TOP OF THE TOP monk wannabe from BROKENECK TEMPLE...formally called BROKEBACK..but after too many got backs broken by botaky...he thinks better change it to BROKENECK....very famous hor...dun pray pray...."

leetahsar: hell with it man! what brokeneck or brokeback...u kachiew(disturb) me i not only break ur back, neck...and r u trying to accost me.....i also break that part ...bloodhound...dun pray pray with me, ok...botak!

there were a row of mirrors on the wall which caught the attention of the 2 jokers. they looked into it...my god! and there were 4 sars/sahs.....(siao liao this time!!)

.....they stared at each other ...stared again at their images in the mirror...stared at the other sar/sah's image....and both burst out laughing....hahahaha....

......what's next...dunno lei...i siao and blur liao...dun ask...i dunno...i ledi dunno...the last thing i know we each went into a cubicle...separate one hor....showered ourselves...smiled at each other after that and went each other's way...that was it...what u expect? broke each other back(side) is it?

...the end....(Blurred bo?).....hahahaha....;9)


CUT & PASTE ...old fun thread of leetahsar

Coffee Shop Talk - would u wear a used branded underwear? Subscribe
From: leetahsar 1-Feb 21:24
To: ALL 1 of 87

92309.1

been swimming quite often now to rid the sparetyre. usually go to the public pool during the afternoon. damn shiok! the pool is mostly bare. the trouble is i picked up so many things careless swimmers left in the shower room...

goggles - branded one, picked 3 pairs already.

wah! lo real face scrub for man...goodness..just saw the price $39.90 for a small tube...and i found a big tube in the shower cubicle...

latest found: calvin klein underwear...er...pai seh about my size...XL...looks brand new.

qn: can wear or not huh? i mean just bring back sterilised and wash then do u think can wear or not?

also found: full bottle shower creme...the expensive type....face wash....swimming trunks...branded one...too bad too small for me....

how cum people left behind so many expensive stuffs after a swim?




the above c n p was one of my bo liao monday blues enlightening joker thread...and now it comes into full circle with my BROKEBACK AND BROKENECK TEMPLE.....ornitoufo...

i may sound obscene...but obscene i am definitely NOT....

A THREESOME....TOP OF THE TOP OF THE BOTTOM.....

tonnes of waters rush down his big round eyes...just like niagra falls....flooding the whole room....and now both tarsah and botak are in knee high flood of tears....

as botak wades through the water of tears..to open the doors to let out all the tears, his ck is soaked through...oh my merciful buddha! it isn't a bloodhound under that bulge, it's a giant anaconda!!....and it wriggles as botak is wading in big steps over the tears to the room door...

it wriggles and wriggles...and gradually unkown to botak, the ck is slowly slipping southwards......and wah la! anaconda is set free and swings gaily left and right...up and down as botak continues to wade towards the door.....

that girls and horny guys, he hasn't even mari kita yet. can u imagine when the anaconda sings the national anthem? the flag rising ceremony...how huge can it get?

finally he reaches the door knob, opens and *flush* all leetarsah's tears flushed out. goodness! it's like raining and waterfull to the floors below.. and along with it, botak's dropped ck briefs also goes with the rushing water....hahahaha...;9)

the room is wet but at least no tears flooded now. tarsah just can't take his stare off botak's swinging anaconda.

never even in his male missy's days had he seen such a big snake before...and that's not even mari kita yet.....botak is stark naked infront of him....mi mi with 2 pointy grape seeds, swinging anaconda and goodness the pai pai rounded bright moon.....

"aiyah!! botaky...cum cum....cum to me leh...i cannot tahan any more...my moon needs ur anaconda...." moaned monky #8....."cuming dear....cuming..." botak goes back to the slutty gay spidey monk. tarsah just stands there like an idiot. lost at what to do. what's next? er...i dunno....how huh? .....wanna censored or not......

BROKENECK TEMPLE...PART 2

KUM siong yat chi (kum, the last time), orh deh kong du (we talk until)......

leetahsar is finally ordained monk wannabe in big spidey botak's monastery....there were altogether 8 monks in the hierachy...botak being the abbot...u know the big spider king....always on the top position...get it? THE TOP POSITION...

so now being a new wannabe monk, where am i suppose to be....a bottom? u know as in a...BOTTOM.....But i just love to be top ...u know as in TOP for once over some BOTTOM....

SHIT!! THis top and bottom thing is getting confusing to me...ok lah...i wanna to be in control...I AM A CONTROL FREAK!!! yes! i said it...botak, u better be bottom to me...or else...heeheehee...;9)

so leetahsar after making up what he was to be...neither top nor bottom...but top of the top...the bottoms can let them be laid...cos he doesn't care anymore. this goon blur blur goes to bang the door of chiefy botak.

BANG! BANG! BANG! he hammers away. "Who's there?" came a voice from within. "...wait a moment please...coming...coming....!"

the door swings open. OH MY MERCIFUL BUDDHA!!! a naked botak in his super expensive ck briefs...(this one hor he's wearing is the high end one..at least $98). "yes, tahsar, what do u want?" botak in ck briefs asks.

leetarsah is in shocked. his big round eyes is now bigger rounder eyes....staring at that humongous bulge from the botak's ck. cold sweats breaks out....he just realises that what big thing poked him the other night....oh my god!!! and no wonder his legs was soft afterwards and was walking like a rubbery legs....hahahaha...;9)

after composing himself and wiping the beads of sweat off his now also botak head, he speaks, "hello botak...u deflowered me the other stormy and thundery night...and now...now...how are u going to compromise me?"

botak of course is caught off guard to his direct demand. "botaky...botaky...cum cum...me cannot tahan any more...cum botaky..." a voice rings out from inside the room within a room....his personal spider cave of lust.

lts can't stand it any longer and rushes in. oh my god!! monky #8....the youngest and chioest hunk...naked in bed.

tarsah glares at botak. now it's botak's turn to break into cold sweat...."U told me...i am ur everything...and now...now...now...now..." sorry tarsah's stereo now out of order...."now...now....boohooohooohooo.....!...i wanna die...ahhh...boohooohooo...!!!" he finally breaks into niagra falls..nearly flooding the whole... 水 淹 金 山 詩。。。。。

most probably what most male brains are made off...except leetahsar's one....:)

BROKEBACK AND BROKENECK TEMPLE....a tale of 2 monks

monk A - leetahsar, prospective monk wannabe

monk B - botak , notorious horny temple abbot of BROKEBACK TEMPLE - a male spider spirit in disguise as a veneral...i mean venerable..

as our story continues....SIONG YAT CHIn (a day before), KONG DU (said until)....rock and rolling leetahsar came rock and rolling down huang-san...all the way to tai-yee san in lantau island, HK. there he was bestowed a powered beads by a lagi powered aged nun.

after thanking her, leetahsar rock and roll all the way to sinkieland and landed in BROKEBACK TEMPLE.

BANG! lts crashed throw the main gate into the lift which took the rock and rolling lts to the 3rd floor. BANG!! rock and roll lts hit a door and stopped for a breather.

all those rocking and rolling was sure driving him giddy and really blur. "who's there?" came a voice from the room. click! the door opened. "oh my god! who r u?" there standing behind the opened door was botak, abbot of BROKEBACK TEMPLE.

after the rocking and rolling, lts was faint. and that's exactly what happened next - he fainted infront of the room of the abbot botak.

through a faint glimpse, lts still could see botak's sneering lecherously face. then kar char!! total black out.....

when he gradually awoke....goodness! he was stark naked lying on a bed. next to him, oh my god! it was botak...all sweaty and dozing away.

he felt a sharp pain in the moon. he put his hand and felt. shit! what was all those slimy white stuffs from his hole in the moon...THUNDERSTORM...LIGHTNING FLASHED!!!

he realised he was deflowered....by the botak now sleeping like a dead pig next to him. stunned and blur and confused. he sat there wondering what to do next.

just then he heard muffing and whizzing.....botak awoke. he stared hard at him. he smiled back. "Why?....." lts asked...."what did u do to my flawless moon with a hole?"

botak was gentle. he edged closer putting his arm over lts' shoulder and patted him. then he planted a peck on his ...eee...boobie...lts was startled and pushed him away.

he stared. he smiled back. finally he edged closer again and held his arms. "Dun worry, u rock and roll son of a gun...me am the chiefy here. everyone is under my command," he consoled lts who was almost at the brink of tears now. "u rolled all the way to my door and fainted....and my god! u r one chiohunk, u know....how can i let u go without eating u up first....and goodness....a virgin in mint condition...my rare rare treat for many many year...."

"u bastard!! u r a monk...and me a monk wannabe in golden virge mint conditon.....", he started to stammer, "and now...now....now...u ruined me....boohoohoo..hoohoo....!" lts burst out crying his arse off with rows of niagra falls ....hahahaha...oops sorry hor...not suppose to laugh..;9)

and that's how lts was finally ordained as a monk wannabe...with the sacrifice of his hole in the moon...OUCH!!!

there we ve it....BROKEBACK TEMPLE....can stomach part 2?

BROKENECK TEMPLE part 2....the ensuing saga from part I BROKEBACK TEMPLE ....akan datang to ur nearest cinema........;9)

just for fun...pls excuse me...

i may sound obscene....but obsence i am not....cos i am leetahsar...the goon of the gooniest.....;9)

LIFE IN VANCOUVER
i ve a hk pal who migrated there in vancouver with his entire family: wife n 2 girls. though the tax levy is high for those employed, the gov deploys back the benefits back to the citizens.

his 2 daughters study for free. no school fees until finish high school and even university. i think the books are also provided except stationeries. and his eldest girl, although no need to pay U school fees got herself a scholarship...meaning free education and some more got monthly allocated allowances - the scholarship and no contract to bound her.

next, medical care is free too. u dun hv to worry if u fall sick. here, we prefer to be dead than sick...especially those unfortunate ones being inflicted by chronic diseases that need medication for life.

petrol, cars, and land properties are so cheap, no one bother to speculate in the properties prices. unlike here, a cheapo pigeonhole can be driven to height dizzy kind of ridiculous prices.

not to mention cars...so cheap even to drive a mercz. here the cost of a mercz can get a decent 5 bedrooms land property there with front and back gardens throw in.

then petrol is also cheap. and parking is definitely free.

senior citizens were given special prices to shop at certain days of the week. groceries are like give away prices to these senior citiznes. then they can have buffet at a dirt cheap special price of $1.99, the U.P is like $9.99. geniune discount unlike the bloody ntuc only 2% ...like got give and like got neber give...and the worst part bloody ntuc brags until the sky wanna fall down like for such fake cheapo gimmick.

and when the shops or malls there give offer or special discount...they really mean special true discount. not like here. give u discount, u must buy this and that or minimum u must spent this amount before entitled...wtf!

and if u r unemployed....no problem gov will provide u with social welfare until u get a job...

no matter what, when i was there a couple of times i usually stayed for weeks or even months before i returned. the max stay in US is 3 mths, i think.

it was so relaxing and refreshing there. the ang mos will voluntary smile and wave at u as though u were their friends...and of course i would hello or have a nice day back to them....

so so free....u must go there and feel it urself....then when u r back...it's a bloody artificial rathole here with the gov bullying peasants like anything...and some more dare say it's all for ur own good...MY FOOT!

GOT a uncle and auntie migrated there,too. auntie just operated her eyes. she was mum's class mate and told my mum f o c the operation..

my lau han koo had the same operation and cost 1000+ and they dare tell us it was "subsidised"...bullshit! actually that was he 2nd op after he downgraded. his lst op was a lst class category and was more than 10K.....for a diabetic retina detachment op.

i checked with auntie and asked her if she was operated by pte practitioner how much would it cost? she said OH! only a couple of hundreds...maybe like 200 only...subsidised by gov all pte medical docs....

VANCOUVER ....my ideal place to live. nice weather, vast land, beautiful natural sceneries, friendly people...and most importantly a caring gov who dun ketok citizens...nothing like what we have here. lucky, my pal din migrate here although they were approved as pr here.

if u don't get out of this hell hole to see the world...u never know how much we are being ketok...left and right...and how bad they have all our balls squeezed until u can't even scream!....;9(

THE PLIGHT OF MY FT IT TENANT
my poor FT IT tenant finally couldn't conceal his truth from us any more....HE JUST GOT THE BOOTS!

will be returning to ipoh hometown for 3 weeks as he had chopped his passport for the last valid time in jb....now he has to return for at least 3 weeks before he can come back here again...poor ah boy....;(

a couple of mths ago, i already told him he got dark clouds hanging all over his head. he just shirked me off and laughed out loud...i dun see him laughing now....;9(

i bought alot of instant mees for him...the expensive ones even KOREAN KIMCHI...myojo....the ba kut teh mee from taiwan...so that he won't ve to bear hunger.

i doubt he got money...yes, he has kosong. checked his wallet when he showers...KOSONG...only a few dollars ringgits...poor ah boy...;9(

i think...since i kena 4D like anything in FEB, i starts my charity from home....he will benefit from my good luck...and i wish i could rub some into him...poor ah boy ;9(

if he had listened to me....maybe he could ve diverted what he is facing today....he lost his laughter. when i told him i striked toto 5 nbrs, he congrats me but in a very listless soft almost inaudible tone...poor ah boy.....;9(.

now even though he rented the room, he now doesn't stay in his room. he went to his nearby pr sister's flat which was just opp. mine and stay there until late at night then he returns.

maybe he's shy that i may query him....but i mean to help not to mock at him....i hope he understands.....me humble goon...only people mock at me...i dun despise anyone...whether u r even poorer than me....i only despise those with bad character traits......whether rich or poor....

so ah boy...i will give u $$ instead for ur journey back...u need to eat along the way right....and pls ah boy...treat me like ur long lost father...i will pray for ur assluck cloud to disperse gradually....peace be with u...poor ah boy....;9(

and i think i will not ask for his rental when he's gone for the next 3 weeks...unfair to him....poor me now!!...;9(

From: postnew
hurray... next you can rent your room to China peidu ma ma, then can tell us more stories...

my reply:
hello...i got another kitchen not used and a hall and 3 other bedrooms...

my next prospective would be a father and daughter...and they are dayaks aborigines from sarawak.....but dunno whether they are from the headhunter tribe or not....if they r...mati...u will find 3 shrunken heads: leetahsar, lauhankoo and mamalee all string up on their neck in no time...hahahaha...;9)

the father is a good pal of mine with all kinds of funny weird tattooes all over his bo infested body...and goodness! dayak daughter is U grad trying for a job here...and she is chio man!! like some high class bitch...i mean chiobu....very very pretty with large round eyes...i like....;9)

that's why i asked can stomach my part 2 BROKENECK TEMPLE....HAHAHAHA...u just inspired me to borrow my 2 dayaks into my next storyline...how? can tahan or not?

i siao liao...bo sen li....hahahahaha....;9)

BROKEBACK AND BROKENECK TEMPLE....a tale of 2 monks

monk A - leetahsar, prospective monk wannabe

monk B - botak , notorious horny temple abbot of BROKEBACK TEMPLE - a male spider spirit in disguise as a veneral...i mean venerable..

as our story continues....SIONG YAT CHIn (a day before), KONG DU (said until)....rock and rolling leetahsar came rock and rolling down huang-san...all the way to tai-yee san in lantau island, HK. there he was bestowed a powered beads by a lagi powered aged nun.

after thanking her, leetahsar rock and roll all the way to sinkieland and landed in BROKEBACK TEMPLE.

BANG! lts crashed throw the main gate into the lift which took the rock and rolling lts to the 3rd floor. BANG!! rock and roll lts hit a door and stopped for a breather.

all those rocking and rolling was sure driving him giddy and really blur. "who's there?" came a voice from the room. click! the door opened. "oh my god! who r u?" there standing behind the opened door was botak, abbot of BROKEBACK TEMPLE.

after the rocking and rolling, lts was faint. and that's exactly what happened next - he fainted infront of the room of the abbot botak.

through a faint glimpse, lts still could see botak's sneering lecherously face. then kar char!! total black out.....

when he gradually awoke....goodness! he was stark naked lying on a bed. next to him, oh my god! it was botak...all sweaty and dozing away.

he felt a sharp pain in the moon. he put his hand and felt. shit! what was all those slimy white stuffs from his hole in the moon...THUNDERSTORM...LIGHTNING FLASHED!!!

he realised he was deflowered....by the botak now sleeping like a dead pig next to him. stunned and blur and confused. he sat there wondering what to do next.

just then he heard muffing and whizzing.....botak awoke. he stared hard at him. he smiled back. "Why?....." lts asked...."what did u do to my flawless moon with a hole?"

botak was gentle. he edged closer putting his arm over lts' shoulder and patted him. then he planted a peck on his ...eee...boobie...lts was startled and pushed him away.

he stared. he smiled back. finally he edged closer again and held his arms. "Dun worry, u rock and roll son of a gun...me am the chiefy here. everyone is under my command," he consoled lts who was almost at the brink of tears now. "u rolled all the way to my door and fainted....and my god! u r one chiohunk, u know....how can i let u go without eating u up first....and goodness....a virgin in mint condition...my rare rare treat for many many year...."

"u bastard!! u r a monk...and me a monk wannabe in golden virge mint conditon.....", he started to stammer, "and now...now....now...u ruined me....boohoohoo..hoohoo....!" lts burst out crying his arse off with rows of niagra falls ....hahahaha...oops sorry hor...not suppose to laugh..;9)

and that's how lts was finally ordained as a monk wannabe...with the sacrifice of his hole in the moon...OUCH!!!

there we ve it....BROKEBACK TEMPLE....can stomach part 2?

BROKENECK TEMPLE part 2....the ensuing saga from part I BROKEBACK TEMPLE ....akan datang to ur nearest cinema........;9)

just for fun...pls excuse me...