PAGE 2: suicidal patient

the spread eagle bond young guy had disappeared. the strings were loosen. he was gone!!
"male nurse!! go chase that red undies patient!! he escaped! he's suicidal!!" yelled frentically the matron.
without thinking 3 times 7 equal 21, i zoomed after him. he ran faster up the stair case to the rooftop. i zoomed faster after him...up the rooftop too.
there, he was panting and stuttering. me, what else? OUT OF BREATH!! panting like a dog!!
lts: bloody hell! get down from there and come back with me to the ward!!
i commanded him. he climbed up to the parapet ledge. shaking his outstretched arms wavering his hand at me, "stay back!....stay back!!...i jump i tell u!!"
shit!! this was just great. my first day.....;9(
lts: why u wanna die?...u so young....(bo bian must pretend to be sweet)....and damn handsome...why u wanna die?
the 'handsome' must have done some magic on him. i thought i saw a weak smirk.
red undie guy: i did wrong to my wifey.....i very sorry to her.....i just wanna die...boohoohoohoo......
lts: u die...... u do even bigger wrong. ur wife will be a widow, then how?....she may wanna to kill herself and dies with u!!.....pls lah...dun be like that...come down lah....think for ur wife if u love her....
he appeared to taken my words seriously. he pondered.
lts: today's my first day u know...dun sabo me leh.....if not i quit...and die with u too!!....
he alighted from the parapet. by now the police had also came up the roof top. in a flash, i rushed to him and grabbed him!.
he put up a weak struggle. the police caved in on him and handcuffed him. they led him away. i dunno what happen next but i know my uniform was condemned with his bodily pus which had stained my pristine white attire.....;9(
after the ordeal, returned to the ward. matron was pleased and all praises for me. she consoled me that those pus discharge was not infectious and allowed me half day off.
that ended my dramatic first day at the ward. i dunno what happened to the red undies patient. i couldn't understand what was wrong with him that he wanted to end his life at such young promising age.
but my job was not to understand what's wrong with their mind or lives. my job was there to serve the sick patient......and see them well. other than that, it's
GUAN WO PI SHI!!

WARD STORY: DAY OF THE SUICIDAL MAN - 1ST DAY

after 2 mths classroom relaxing study with monthly pays, it was payback them.
we were deployed to have our practicals in wards and applied what we had learned in our class rooms. my hell was about to begin......;9(

how the chiomissy wrestled with a crazy suicidal guy...yes in brilliant red undies at the rooftop....will he fall to his death?...of course not lah...or else i won't here telling the story right?

THE SUICIDAL PATIENT IN RED UNDIES

my first ward assignment: BOWYER'S WARD....or the dead man's ward.
i was very fresh for my very first hospital day. the motherly matron greeted me with glee cos me cute and handsome lah...hahahaha....;9)
after a brief show round, i was all hands on my job. first thing first, cleaned up all the lauhans or old men patients there. there was a rule here: MALE NURSES ONLY HANDLE MALE PATIENTS. no-no manhandling of female cos the occupational hazzard of being accused of molest was too great to risk....;9(
this was what we called dry cleaning bedridden patients or immobile one, i had to 'dry bath' them. it was a very tedious chore. u wipe soap on a moist towel go over the whole body of the patient. then go over it several times with moist towel wet with only lukewarm water.
after that, must powder patient some more. u may ask: how would i clean that private parts? good question. usually we asked the patient to do it themselves. if the patient is too weak, then no choice, the male missy would just have to clean that parts too...;9(
matron showed me to a guy in brilliant red undies tied nearest to the nurse's station. important note here: the patient nearest to this 'lookout' station is usually the most serious case. those furthest are the least serious. that explains the distance.
this young man was only in his red briefs and tied spread eagle. his body was covered with sores that were oozing with pus. he was restless. i wasn't sure why were he treated like that so couldn't be bothered and continue my dry cleaning one patient after the other.
suddenly........

TRAILERS FROM THE DAYS OF THE MALE MISSY.....

new story from DAYS OF THE MALE MISSY....coming soon to the next window...

TRAILERS:

how the chiomissy wrestled with a crazy suicidal guy...yes in brilliant red undies at the rooftop....will he fall to his death?...of course not lah...or else i won't here telling the story right?
the old patient that flipped eyewhites and haunt the male missy for nights.....how could he got the 'ghost' exorcised.....

next the stupid dupid houseman (blur dr in training)....and his saboing of our male missy....MALE MISSY GO DIG SHIT SAMPLES!!.....

the cum spitting black cobra of a drunken keleng....this one will freak everyone out!!!...how he manhandled this bloody monstrous snake and it's stinking cum!

the monstrous pig in coma.....another torturous ward adventure....the cold monster swine and all his gold.....(i think this swine was one dead pig in the end...poor piggy)

and many many more....stay tuned for the exciting....DAYS OF THE MALE MISSY!...coming soon in another window nearest u!!.......;9)

PART 3: PRESENTATION DAY - BREASTFEEDING

my presentation day finally came.

props that i needed:
1. milk bottle, spoon, milk powder, measuring cup.
2. diaper, safety pin, cotton buds/pads, wet/dry tissues - lots of those.
3. baby plastic bath tub, talcum powder, baby lotion
4. articifial squirt boobs u could dress it on ur chest
5. one life-liked plastic baby
let me see...yep!! that's about all. shall we begin?

here goes....

all women must marry and have babies. when they had their baby, they must breastfeed him. how?...this how.....held up lifelike plastic baby to artificial big boobs i wore on the chest.

step 1: gently press baby's head onto boob...guide mouth to swollen nipple. baby should do the rest by sucking it. er...for the ladies, it suppose to be a pleasant sensual feeling....er for me....sorry i dunno ...i dun have milk laden boobs...pai seh!.... *blush...and the whole class laughed!*

oh ya...before placing the baby there on the boob, must wipe it clean first. squeeze the boob so that a few drop of milk exudes out. clean that. demo: i squeezed the fake boobs i wore on my chest pretending there were my and demo the wiping. then gently place baby's mouth onto boob....shit!! gotta do that action too....*so embarrassing!!*... i was behaving like the real mum with one hand holding the baby, the other hand patting the fake baby's bombom.

feeding the baby is very beneficial to both the mum and the baby. why? the baby will acquire stronger antibodies from the mother, hence he would be healthier and more immuned to sickness.

on the mum's part, there would be closer rapport with her newborn. but the most important thing, it aids her vaginal.....* whole class laughed again on hearing the V word*


cheeky question fired: what do u mean AID THE VAGINAL....how could breast link to there??

more laughter.....me really getting quite pissed over this damn embarrassing topic.
lts: well, u know when the mother pushes the baby out from that hole, all her muscles there would have overstretched. look at this plastic baby's head and now look at the size of the hole...oopss!!....sorli..... * more wild laughter!!*

lts: so when baby suckle the mum's boobs, in a wayhe also sucks up her vaginal ...otherwise it may loosen and droop so much....it may just drop out..... *hahahahaha...wild hysteria now!*

lts: dun laugh leh...true what!! her vaginal muscle walls would firm up...if not it would be too loose for her husband to poke her again, u know.....;9( *siao liao....the whole class went crazy with wild loud laughter!!!*



.....and that about ended my most embarrassing presentation..........;9(

DAYS OF THE MALE MISSY (NURSE)

i was 22 yrs then. my last job was a temporary purchasing officer. my last last job was a chocolate taster...
saw this nursing ad. was curious the life of a nurse. they wanted male nurse so out of curiousity, i applied.
during the interview, i believed i touch the interviewers whom one was a motherly matron.
m m: why would u as a guy wanna be a nurse?
lts: oh....to be able to serve our fellow sick is the greatest virtue of a person....
m m stomped by my (rehearsed) response. yes lah...i already anticipated they would fire this question so before i went i already dramamama a bit on this answer. u know add a bit of 'feel' to it. i thought i saw a tear gleaming at m m's eye corner.
weeks later, the mail came. I WAS ACCEPTED into the PTS - PUPIL TRAINEE SCHEME or lovingly called also PAID TO STUDY.


PART 2: THE TRAINING

first thing first, every new nurse wannabe got to have themselve measured. no! not my anaconda!! the uniforms.
we were issued 4 set of nurse attire, 2 pair of shoes and 6 pair of white socks.
soon, i was in my male missy pristine crispy white uniform and white shoe...the original MAN IN WHITE or MIW....haahahaha....;9)
it was 3 mths classroom lessons and nothing else. just study...study..and more study and tests. best part: GET PAID AT THE END OF THE MONTH!
as a nurse, my job wasn't just restricted to ward services, we were suppose to educate the public. things like STD, AIDS, contagious diseases, how to handle life threatening emergencies...etc.
we were suppose to equip not only the knowledge but to diffuse it to the general public and teach them the basic life saving technique like cpr, bandaging etc.....
in the classroom, everyone of us got to do presentation. the nursing lecturer will lucky dip the topic for us.
and me....suay ka pa cheng (unluckiest!). my topic for presentation was BREASTFEEDING N BABY BATHING.
hell man! this was damn damn embarrassing. the bloody faggot indian male lecturer was really picking on me...after all i was the chioest in the class. my hotbod then was one to behold...dun pray pray. i was already bestow with big muscular mi mi...i mean chest!
no wonder, i was purposely picked for this lame topic. what to do prepare for the details and present lor!....what else could i do?
....continue....

MY HORNY CID DUDI with the baluku

i ve to use green cos this ardent green leprechaun was the most enthuiastic chiohunk in my free gardening class held in my ex-temple.
it was quite a while since we became good buddies and surprising our affinity was sealed by SBF when i posted LTS FREE GARDENING CLASS THREAD.
this joker only posted twice since the day he joins SBF. both were to me. his posting was so stingily short, brief and i dunno what head or tail, so i bo chap. din respond.
then he pm-ed. who the hell is this XX guy? again din respond and bo chap!
then on the fateful day, the first day of my gardening, this black mamba turned up. i din know who he was. well, maybe another plant loving forummer in my class. so again...bo chap!
it was then i had to expose to everyone in my class...THIS IS THE SILLY LEETAHSAR EVERYONE LOVES TO HATE!
it was rather unfair to me. those guys smiled, laughed but kept their nicks secret to me..their aiyah sifu. what to do? they knew me, but i didn't know them or their nics.
as more lessons followed up, most of the guys were already driven nuts by me already....i mean really COCONUTS! eventually, i coaxed out their real identity.
there the chioest of the hunks...HOTLAVA...and my cid pal.....well! that one i got to maintain confidentiality. if not he would blow my piggy blains off with his shiny magnum. yes...TOP and BOTTOM!
so beri the sorry for the continuous mystery of the black mamba cid. why black? if one spends his time more in the sunny golf course than in his aircond office cubicle, what color would be his skin?....right! BLACK!
now black mamba is a horny slithering snake.....;9)
funny why everyone i met is the itchy type? maybe as guys and gals...HORNY is our natural instinct...hahahaha....;9)
from today, let's just call my cid pal mamba! no...no... not MAMBO the hk over rated comic cop....MAMBA will do. thank you!..BLACK MAMBA...BLACK CUM SPITTING MAMBA!

PAGE 2

MAMBA as usual was shooting golf balls away at the SAFRA country club, changi.
he was supposed to join us the next day in our j b makan trip with soton in his black spidey jaguar.
man propose; heaven dispose.....i was almost being proposed, disposed but luckily i opposed to soton's indecent propose. so many 'pose'...getting confused and coconut again? thanks to me....;9)
back to our MAMBA. he was swinging gayly at his driving range, suddenly...FEWWWWWWWWWWWW.....! *perkot!!* he blacked out!! he was hit by an incoming flying golf ball. he was hit bad at his right temple.....AND HE WAS OUT COLD!! .......7,8,9, 10!........he's out!!! the winner was...none other than a mei mei. a damn sexy slender chio one ....the one who swung the club and hit a mamba out cold!!
dream on mamba....dream on...!

PAGE 3

97, 98, 99....100!!
shit! my cid pal, mamba was still out cold after a 100 counts.
kiss me...kiss me...emmm..emmm...emmm...
oh dear *censored!*. even in his knocked phase, this horny mamba was engrossed in one of his drooling wet dreams! he drooled....how could we tell? well, the grass that was watered by his drools already turned brown!! they had in fact started to decay and rot!
he smirked. he smiled. he laughed deliriously. some one was stroking him. no lah!! dun be so obscene not the bottom but his baluku head.
one baluku had already sprouted from his crew cut head. it was as big as the size of the golfball that hit him. a small hand was stroking that bump on his head.
mamba was smirking. he was like basking in orgasmic bliss. his senseless body could wriggle some more in spasm. his forked snakey tongue slithered out of his pouting mouth.
pat..pat!...tap ...tap! suddenly a tight slap and whack across his cheek! and that jerk in back into his confused sensed.
blur blur, he opened his beady shrewd eyes. blurry!! he thought he saw his snow white infront of him. he was still delusional. but yes...he was still in a horny orgasmic state. his lusty smirk still hanged on his lips.
he realised what his body language was telling everyone. he was so embarrass and instantly snapped back into his cool dude cid charisma. u couldn't tell whether he was blushing or not. he was damn dark and looked more indian than chinese!
he sat up on his butt and infront of him was a terrified little mei mei. yes ...a mei mei crying her heart out. she thought she had killed a horny black mamba!
....to be cont'd....

part 4...the concluding baluku...

so came the appointment day to go jb for makan in soton's spidey black jaguar, black mamba smsed me:

sorry, u guys go ahead. cant come. head kena baluku by mei mei...

and when i called him what mei mei?
mamba: mei mei lor....
lts: wah! u damn lucky gun leh!! play dead and let her give u the kiss of life lor...shiok man!!mamba: kiss u head! u teeko ter!
lts: huh?...u always beo mei meis...and now such a rare chance u kek kek...basket!
mamba: already told u...it was a mei mei...me not a paedophile lah!!...a mei mei...shit!! a 10 yr old little girl!! u silly toot ! @@8#"£$%**#$!
lts: ....*blur!*.....

leetahsar
Jan-14 5:30 pm
To:
KaiXin the Anti-GST Cheongster (KaiXin1)
(17 of 91)

72.17 in reply to 72.14
u and ah mah sad sob stories...really sabo me to make me think she was one of those lady of the night.
it was a real eye opener. not the whorehouse but my monky caixim....
hmmm....pal of the OKT ok...but pls try to keep that cum spitting cobra inside the pants!


leetahsar
Jan-14 5:35 pm
To:
KaiXin the Anti-GST Cheongster (KaiXin1)
(18 of 91)

72.18 in reply to 72.16
of course i dun. actually there are 'free' meals. i should intro u to the equally sweet mouthed sibeipine.
he claimed that all his cheena teetus win hand down when compare to the local mei meis!


KaiXin the Anti-GST Cheongster (KaiXin1)
Jan-14 7:53 pm
To:
leetahsar
(19 of 91)

72.19 in reply to 72.18
Ask him to be careful when playing with spider. He might get caught in the web and get sucked dry.
Kaixin1

leetahsar
Jan-14 10:01 pm
To:
KaiXin the Anti-GST Cheongster (KaiXin1)
(23 of 94)

72.23 in reply to 72.19
this warning should go to the teetujia instead. sibeipine will suck their teetujuices dry instead.
he's a 9"!

leetahsar
Jan-14 10:18 pm
To:
BlueSoton1
(24 of 94)

72.24 in reply to 72.20
dun u know i m a snake charmer and train my anaconda to be very discpline?
unlike u, got hole will poke kind. even the OKT also loves to sit on the vital location in ur groin area....;9

PART 5: CAIXIM AND SOTON GANGED UP TO SABO PIGGY!

KaiXin the Anti-GST Cheongster (KaiXin1)
Jan-14 3:50 pm
To:
leetahsar
(14 of 91)

72.14 in reply to 72.9
Hahahhahah!! Uncle LEE ... even 70 year old AH MA you also want to fuck!!
Wa lao eh .... Kaixin me dunno where to hide my face. The OKT has been my good buddy-buddy friend for 6 years already, and the 70-year old ah ma was his AUNT!!
Oh My Goodness!!! Then this horny and desperate Uncle Lee went OVER to the OKT and ask how much price $$$ is the ah man, what her service standard is like, is she good, and so on!?!?!?!?
The OKT cringed!!! Wa Lao Eh, he was damn embarrassed himself, and he quickly revealed that the ah ma was his AUNTIE, and assured everyone concerned that she is NOT A PROSTITUTE!
The PIGGY GOON was red-face and he slunked back into the chair next to Blue Soton whose hand was still wet from all the cum stains from jerking off to the beautiful ladies walking in and out of the brothel. Sotong was a true gentleman .... he told Uncle Lee, eh, you make Kaixin damn embarrassed you know ... Kaixin dunno where to hide his face already. Of course Uncle Lee QUICKLY SIAM that area because he was afraid Soton would wipe his cum stain on Uncle Lee!!!
I gave the BIG-BOOBIE Dada a FLYING KISS and she sauntered back to her resting area behind the customer counter to day-dream about bonking me. But I was not going to bonk her. Hmmmm ... my mind was STILL FILLED WITH IMAGES OF LA MEI......... and dada was wondering why Kaixin was so horny but still refuse to call her. She never guessed that I had a another HOT GAL on my mind ....

KaiXin the Anti-GST Cheongster (KaiXin1)
Jan-14 3:58 pm
To:
LaMei
(15 of 91)

72.15 in reply to 72.12
Hahahhahahahah. Ms Obasan Lamei .... of course you not forgotten. After we left the restaurant and were heading back to Soton's car, bus number 33 suddenly arrived and the Piggy Goon dashed aboard, and waved us goodbye. I was surprised ... wa lao that was fast. Was Piggy Goon going back home to jerk off to his fantasy of the 70-year old OKT's Auntie?!?!
Soton and I headed back to his car and he dropped me off at the OKT's house again. I was still bloody horny with the LA MEI IMAGES floating in my mind. So after Soton left I found myself right back at my old 2nd home, the OKT's house ... my humble abode for the past 6 years.
The OKT erupted into gales of laughter when he saw me!! He said you friend ah .... damn goondo one!!! Wa lao eh, AUNTIE also he dare to point at her and ask if she is a WORKING LADY!!!! That time, all my horniess disappeared because I was so damn MALU and embarrassed. I quickly apologized yet again to the OKT and told him ... eh Tommy sorry lah.... my friend the piggy goon he is not familiar with Geylang ... he is monk wannabe ... dunno who is who over here .... he say the auntie ... thought she can be had for $5 or $10 .... WITHIN HIS PRICE RANGE ... that's why he asked.
The OKT nodded in understanding, and said ... dun worry Kaixin ... I am not angry ... just amused ....! Hahahhahahahahah! WA LAO EH .....
Kaixin1

KaiXin the Anti-GST Cheongster (KaiXin1)
Jan-14 4:12 pm
To:
leetahsar
(16 of 91)

72.16 in reply to 72.9
Ah yah, Uncle Lee. Those 70-80 year old AH MA and those beautiful sweet young AH KUAs are found at DESKER ROAD, not at Geylang!
And yes, they are very poor thing you know! Imagine a 70-year old auntie sitting idly in that small brothel house waiting for customers! At her age!!! I mean, where are a children? Can't she go to an old folk's home and be taken care of by nurses? What the fxxk is a woman of her age doing in such a sordid sleazy brothel???
Can you imagine who her customers might be? Bangala workers who can only afford $5 handjob or $10 fuck job? Old men shuffle their feet and have difficulty ejaculating? or even piggy goon like Leetahsar????
That's why I felt sorry for the whole bunch of them.
Even the ah kua ... many of them are pre-op .... saving money to go for their operation by working in Desker (a few of them also work in Geylang, but they are not as pretty). Usually the price they can command is $30-$40, similar to Changi area.
So please Uncle Lee don't go geylang again to find 70 year old AUNTIE again okay? If you really horny and cannot tahan anymore ask your nephew Kaixin to take you to Desker ... there you can RELEASE!!!!
Kaixin1

PART 4 - PAN SHI TONG or teetucave

soton being the fat squid there, placed the order. we supped a song yu or chinese carp's head in sweet black sauce. then came their speciality HOKIEN MEE with salted fish and loads of lard fritters. next was har cheong kai or salted bean paste deep fried chicken. the last of sabo tofu or claypot bean curd and hai xian chuen or fried seafood roll using yam paste, minced seafood assortment as the fillings.
half way true our supping, soton's hp rang. his wifey called. sotong: ya...yes...ya...yes lah!! u take out all the seafood and thaw.... me will be back to cook dinner very soon......
dinner?..what were we having now? caixim and i looked at each other with loads of question marks.
sotong: oh...sorry....mustn't let the wifey knows i m eating MY dinner with u now ....or else she will extend my ears! ...among other vital organs too....haahaahaa...
or should it be better dun let my wifey knows i just jerked off OKT the boss of the whorehouse?
he blushed.
once dinner finished, it was EAT AND RUN time for this piggy. caixim asked to be returned to his DADA at lor 16. soton got to rush home or else...his organ will be extended!
so we went separate ways. in the bus i was wondering....I THOUGHT THE NUTRITIOUS CAIXIM is in celibacy i.e. NO SEX PLEASE...he's a wannabe monk too!! he is so so monky like the xiao ni sa or little monk. why did he succumb to DADA spider webs of lust?
and sotong .....poor soton maybe had already cum on okt...and another round awaiting him back home. soton's FR ??
now i leave the followup of caixim and DADA in their rendevous in bed in a tight cubicle of a little whore chicken house in geylang lor 16......
...the end of this very nearly brokeback piggy's tale....hahahaha....;9)

PART 3 the teetucave

as if that wasn't enough, soton the schemer of poor piggy o' me join in the field day report....

BlueSoton1
Jan-14 12:18 pm
To:
KaiXin the Anti-GST Cheongster (KaiXin1)
(7 of 91)

PART 2 of Autopcy Report
with uncle piggy fat, over weight body, he dashed to the OKT with an amazing 100m world record speed, shit, he used to say he cant run, due to his leg cartilage pain, but when situation called for it, he surprise us with miracle.
he eagerly asked the OKT the price range, types of services, the origins of the products, n my GOD, he even asked how much is the 70+ ah mah, n the room rate for staying for ONE MONTH !!!!!!!
the super friendly OKT was a bit annoyed, if the hot tempered cid man were to be the OKT, he will kick his ass forcefully, make sure one kick, n uncle is out of this house of nature.....
akan dadang................

so i bo bian...must clarify my innocence....i m still innocent and 24k mint condition what...


leetahsar
Jan-14 12:22 pm
To:
BlueSoton1
(8 of 91)

72.8 in reply to 72.7
oh....so that's why u kept asking me about how to spell C A R T I L A G E...u bloody silly toot soton!!
and yes...it's AUTOPSY ....with an S not C! c is for C LAN KUI!

AND HERE'S PART 3


leetahsar
Jan-14 12:28 pm
To:
BlueSoton1
(9 of 91)

72.9 in reply to 72.7
[he even asked how much is the 70+ ah mah, n the room rate for staying for ONE MONTH !!!!!!!}
ok...ok. this one i must explain and tell the whole story from the start in the car.
kaixim suddenly got compassionate and told me that ah mah and ah ermm and lau aunties are also trying to make an indecent living there.
their rates are super duper cheap and cater to the bangalas, indians and other ftS. there bunch of FTs like the old ladies cos after removing their dentures, bj to them was the only way to send them back home in their heavenly bliss....;9(
and u know all these FTs work very very hard digging and other heavy duty stuffs. they are dicks too and need some form of release. their whole bodies soring with aches and 'hongs' or winds so they need to rid them.
all these laukuaybus or old gingers or lau ah mahs could rid it for them with their antique dried up abalones they possess.
i m so bad to describe them this way....sorry...;9(...but really where are the badly needed welfare from our glabrmen for these bunch of sad old dames?
there another lie from the emperor of clown, pinkie!....sad....;9(

when they threw me into one of the cubicle. i slowly regained my consciousness. an old lady was caressing me...not down there but up here on my head with a moist towel.
she gave me some chinese herbal tea and RINGGGGGGGG!!!.....everything back to normal and i sat up to thank her for saving my modesty....hahahaha....;9)
i heard laughter outside the main hall. went out after smiling and thanking the motherly lady to rejoin with caisim and horny sotong.
there sitting on soton's lap was none other OKT or orh (his surname) kui tao, his name and owner of this chickenhouse.
on caixim's lap was a transexual DADA who had honeydew bosom about the size of my dearie's! oh course, i knew that was fake and siliconed.
caixim buried his monky head into the big artificial boobs. i thought he might be suffocated within! sotong was having a smirking good time while jerking the okt on his vital lap area.
they abruptly stopped when they saw piggy appeared...
well.. me had gone round the world so many times. what i haven't seen? so i wasn't in as much astonished than them. i asked okt: IS THAT KINDLY MAMASAN WHO ATTENDED TO FAINTED ME one of his girls?
okt: dun anyhow say leh!! (quite offended but still a bit amused)
then the motherly obasan came out to serve me more tea. oh my god!!! okt resembled her...and vice versa....*blush!!* i was so embarrassed and felt damn stupig! and apologised profusely to both of them.
caixim and soton laughed so hard that DADA was thrown off onto the floor and soton jerked the okt even higher in spasms with his laughter! so much so, the okt got to excuse himself to the toilet to clean up. he just wetted his pants from soton's laughing horny thrustings!
i think the incessant laughters of these 2 horny guys burnt out more calories than what they were doing just now. caixim said he laughed so much, he was feeling hungry. soton too said he was hungry after all the groin thrusting at okt's butt.
i suggested why dun we head for old airport rd for dinner. it was getting late anyway. all agreed. off we went. instead to old airport hc, sotong drove us to...OH NO!!! another chickens territory...JOO CHIAT RD where FT chickens were abundant...the vietnamese mei meis...
as we walked along this uncharted path, we got so many electrifying winks shoot baks at us...we began to sing a choir of marikita, our beloved national anthem flag raising ceremony together in our pants!!
hiazz!! here we go again...the bulges in all our pants....;9(

PART 2 - TeeTuCave at geylang lor 16

INTERLUDE:

caixim is now cheong his DADA in room 69. he will proceed the details after cumming to his normal flag lowering ceremony.
stay tuned.
me got to expel all the teetu c all over me and purge all the static that had accumulated in my ter bak and ter yue.....;9)
WARNING: ANAL TIGHT RETENTIVE LOSERS ARE ADVISED FROM CONTINUING FROM THIS POINT. RA(18)

and speaking of the devil, here our carebear caixim zooms in:


KaiXin the Anti-GST Cheongster (KaiXin1)
Jan-13 9:58 pm
To:
leetahsar


Wait a minute, Uncle Lee.
My nose did not just bleed at Mei Ling HC when I met Lamei.
I was drooling until a puddle of water had formed on the ground next to me!!!
The monk wannabe had just very graciously offered to buy me some bak chor mee pok, with chilli, without vingear. Yes, that was going to be my sumptuous breakfast! And I was sipping my piping hot steaming delicious cup of coffee. Just then, Lamei ARRIVED!!! Oh MY God!!!!
Lamei is a slender, sexy lass, and she was clad in white T-shirt and a very cute and sexy pair of blue shorts. She looked so SWEET and charming! My goodness, I thought she was just 23 to 25 years old!!! It was only after we had been properly introduced that I realized she was much older than that! WA LAO EH!!!
I secretly scanned her from head to toe, with my nose turning red and a pool of water forming beside me. She is a very pretty lass, and I would NEVER have guessed her true age. Heck, she could have easily passed off as one of my students and I wouldn't have known the difference!
Uncle Lee noticed that I very discreetly BIO-ING Lamei and tried to snap me out of it. hahahhahahhahahah! Okay lar ... we resumed our normal conversation. I was desperately trying to conceal the huge puddle of DROOL that had formed, and luckily, no one noticed!!
Well, breakfast was fantastic. I realized that Mei Ling HC serves not just cheap food, but very delicious cuisine! MMMMMMM...... it was delightful! Blue Soton and Lamei had laksa, while I had my chilli hot (but vinegar-less) bowl of bak chor mee pok (PAPAYA LEE HSIEN LOONG .... I EAT BAK CHOR MEE POK ALSO NO HUM, HOR!!!! DUN PRAY PRAY !!!!!).
This was the first time I met Blue Soton, and I was glad I managed to meet him too. Later, he and I dragged Uncle Lee to GEYLANG LORONG 16, to tempt him to screw chicks!!!! It was during that time that LTS revealed his FULL GAYHOOD to us!! hahahhahahah!!
Stay tuned for the next instalment ... Uncle LTS reveals his fascination for BANGALAS, his lust for TESTICLES ... and finally ... HIS SECRET FETISH FOR 70 YEAR OLD LADIES!!!!
Kaixin1

drugged, dragged and thrown into TeeTuCave

today the worst of the worst happened (almost) onto me.....;9(

after la me in her hot shorts pants left after our meetup, sotong drugged me ! and with the cheongster, they dragged me by the balls and threw the limp me into the teetu cave in geylang lor 16....
i was almost done...this tang san chan....*boo...hoo..hoo* was nearly....was almost....was so close....*boo hoo...hoo...!*
ur nutritious caixim and soton was having a field day watching me....*boo...hoo..hoo..hoo..*....
er ...caixim u wanna follow up in a new nasty thread of what u and sotong and ur gang of teetujia and teetulaukuaybu and teetukong...and worst a teetulauahmah did to this 24K mint piggy??....*weep...weep...sniff...sniff!*
stay tuned for the day piggy was ALMOST eaten alive by teetus in PAN SHI TONG!

la mei called for triad meeting today. so as obeissance to her grossly tattooed husb, the piggy had to oblige my ah mei.
i tot...GOODIE! ME GOING TO BE ALONE WITH AH MEI...but NO! when about to leave for the appointment, caixim smsed me: I M AT UR Q'TOWN MRT. PLS COME GET ME TO THE VENUE OF MEETING.
now what the hell is he doing there....and so punctual? he's invited too? question marks started floating in my fat piggy head. so bo bian, i ran all the way to fetch caixim to the meetup. won't wanna be late so that dun offend the dai soh obasan.
we reached mei ling hc after a brief brisk walk from the mrt station. when our hainanese kopi came, so did la mei.
wowsay!! really itsy bitsy hotpants with revealing straps from her pink G-strings on her slender hips. she must be wearing her baby daughter's t-shirt which said 1 HOT MAMA!.
oh yes! she was! and exposed a dot - her tattooed navel pierced with a small ringing bell when she walked towards us. she must be drooling when she saw the cute huggy carebear caisim sitting next to me.
wiping away the droops at her lip corners with a tissue, she extended her arm to shake caisim. hoping that she would be shaking lower, caixim nosebled and was wiping frantically his redden nostril.....;9)
as for this blur disappointed piggy...oh well! tot it would be a one to one meetup. seem like it was going to be another afternoon threesome sexsion! and soon the sipped teh c in my mouth also drooled out of the corner of my dejected crooked lips....;9(
after all the shaking and hugging, we settled down. i tot that was it. we were going to jiak hong with la mei in her 2-seaters SLK200 and caixim sitting on my lap and suddenly in came sotong.
of all people...SOTON!! why??!!...oh well again! if couldn't threesome than foursome also not bad.
the moment soton sat down, he asked "where's mr chiohunk VINCE??...i keep wet dreaming about him...where's he??"
caixim and me were shocked wide eyed looking blur at each other and asked, WHAT CHIOHUNK VINCE??
la mei blushed. "her wifey's back. he's on call and on heavy or rather heaving duty now...so it was a last minute unexpected twist..." she explained apologetically.
oh well!....la mei's target, caixim was here. soton's wasn't. as for the blur piggy who was scratching his piggyhead: WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE THEN??
the electrifying sequence commenced the moment la mei set eyes on her nutritious caixim. he on the other hand was a fullblooded cheongster now and the bulge there was having the flag raising ceremony. no wonder he was in baggy pants today.....;9(
poor dejected soton. his chioVINCE wasn't here. so disheartened! so bo herh, hay ya ho. translated means: no fish, then eat the prawn lor. and since also no prawn, then eat the nutritious caixim!. he started to shoot bak at caixim too.
la mei shot higher volts. sotong increased his voltage too. this piggy who was slurping away at his lor mee was nearly fried in between all the crossfire of high seductive voltages....hahahaha....;9)
SHE BAM..SHE BAM....rang la mei's RICKY MARTIN'S SHE BANGS telephonic ringing tone.
bzzzz...zz! her electricity suddenly waned off. she got up. "sorry guys, got to go....da ge calls. EMERGENCY...bia chui time(gang fight on) !!"
before anyone of us could said another word, ZOOOMMMMMM...her mercz already burnt the road with the tyre tracks. in a puff of exhaust smoke, she was gone.
now what??....yes ...now what??....now boo..hoo..hoo...both sotong and caixim turned their horniness on me...this poor blur mee slurping piggy still unaware what was about to happen to him.
i sipped the teh c...and bingo...knocked off liao!...
knocked off means i dunno what happened next. when i blur blur opened my eyes...i was like in a cave full of spider webs..i saw the road that soton's car turned into...GEYLANG LOR 16.....
caixim will now follow in details...(take it with a pinch of salt)....me still saved my 24K mint condition..nearly...hahahaha....;9)

AGE IS A RELATIVITY...IT'S YOUR MIND THAT'S MATTER MOST

age is relativity...

one could be old but always young at heart...er...like this cute piggy goon here....;9)

or one could be old but even older in the heart. before they are dead, they thought they are almost dead! or maybe might be dead the next day.....;9(

finally, one could be young but waste their youth away...so to live is like never lived before.....;9(

the saddest of the 3 must be the last...WASTED THEIR YOUTH AWAY!....;9(

ornitoufo...let them be awaken by my humble reminder.....;9)

comment from the alien himself....

From:
jacys
Dec-20 12:55 am
To:
leetahsar
(9 of 10)

9.9 in reply to 9.7
WOW................
I never know I was that good in bed.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

the evidence of jacys, the alien from pluto

here's the evidence of the arrival and juiced jacys'...THE RED THONGS HE LEFT BEHIND.....hahahaha....;9)

PART 4 - FINALE OF JUICY JACYS

time's up! no details from the alien means JUICING JACYS begins now.....;9)
wo dei kong toh (we talked until), jacys was led by dearie into her hotel room.
when the door was closed behind them, dearie was really feeling hot and bitchy now. the effect of the whiskey was taking it's horny toll on her.
she grabbed jacys. she grabbed him there...squeezing and juicing away. our alien from pluton's antenna shot out and up...it wasn't from the head. it was from the groin!
the bulge was exploding there. it was getting hard. it has to be unzipped. if not it might fractured...poor alien!
dearie knew what to do next. she squatted and unzipped his pants. when she kneeled to do that, her pinkily flushed boobs cleavage were even more amazing in bird-eye's view.
jacys wasn't as primitive as he looked. his opened palm swinged into action, cupping those monstrous pinks. squeezing and juicing as it went....like he was milking a cow.....hahahaha...;9)....sorry, how would u expect me to describe the mammary glands?......;9)
dearie: yips!!...oh my god!!.....thongs...red brilliant thongs...oh jacys....i m really high now!.....( she let off an operatic soprano)
a big wide smile flashed across our alien's face. with a gentle tug, off went dearie's tight tees. another tug at her tight skirt, off it dropped to the floor.
jacys: yippy hi ho!!....g-strings....great!!! brilliant lime green...my favorite color!! (he also let off an operatic soprano!)
their lips locked. the tongues were having a tug of war insides those wet moist mouths. jacys lifted dearie. dearie crossed her fair long legs over his stout firm 6packers abs. she hold him tighter. he embraced her tiny waist closer. (if i m not wrong, jacys should have 2 big blue blacks on his chest from the two powderful big boobs...;9)
they were doing a walking kamasutra. jerkily, jacys staggered towards the welcoming bed with dearie hobbling up and down. oh great!! antenna made contact with pussy...they were united...
gently and softly, he laid her down at the edge of the bed. the ramping and bonking began. the moans...the groans...the whizzing and gasping of breathes.....the locking of the lips..smooching away.....
then it was a different position. the wheelbarrow...her legs were held high up on his chest...fully inverted. he sucked her toes. his fingers were also busy fiddling her. she moans even bitchier...louder...and louder...they went.
the whole of sinkieland would have heard the animalistic gruntings hadn't it been saved by the rumbling of the thundery sky...and flashes of lightnings streaked across the dark morning sky...
they shagged and they shagged....just like dearie described in one of her thread. they shagged from midnight till dawn.....
at the break of the first daylight, jacys had vaporised. gone with his spaceship. no where was he in sight. all that remained was...oh well...his brilliant red thongs. a gesture of remembrance of love to dearie with his full BO still attached.
dearie was still in perfect bliss after the multi biggies she had. a big satisfied smirk ran across her face. she was giggling. her pinky flush had since subsided. she giggled more..in her sweet romantic dream.

....end of juicy jacys....PART 2: the return of baby jacys - the seed???...yes, yes??
rating please...thank you......;9)

PAGE 3

jacys was a suave tall guy. when he started to speak...u heard only music. well, at least it was music to dearie's ear. i thought i saw a drool from her lips or was it her whiskey coke?
he peeleepehleh...with an accent...hell! i tot i was hearing an americano talking or what...;9(. then kaixin also peeleepehleh...and i tot i heard an engrishman. for me, i only simi huh?...wow lau eh...wo hian bo...simi meh...etc...very hokky singlish....;9)
back at the hotel lounge, dearie was a bit embarrassed as she bought her whiskey coke from the 711 store. this very bullet proof thick skinned piggy told her just now we had drunk here so it should be ok. there wasn't a soul in sight saved for our alien jacy and us.
i just went in sat on the comfy crouch and the rest followed suit. oh well, dearie thought, might as well ordered her favoured whiskey coke. jacys had a orangey cointreau. kaixin was still a bit tipsy from the previous dose so he followed me...and our orders: TAP ON ICE....free of charge...hahahaha....;9)
jacys started his pre-statesman talk..opps were these and that...paps was that and these...SO BORING!
kaixin is droopy. me was drowsy. dearie was orgasmic with jacy's voice. it was music to her ears. i wondered she knew whether who the hell was chee soon juan. who was chiam or low or whoever jokers, jacys blurted out...
finally, feeling the drowsiness was overpowering, i burst out singing...
I LEFT MY HEART.....IN SAN FRANCISCO....
UP ON THE HILL....IT CALLS TO ME.....to be where (pause) ..little cable cars....climb half way to the stars.....
the morning fog...may chill the air...I DUN CARE!!....
that shocked kaixin back to life. dearie burst out laughing...and jacys shuddup!...hahahaha....;9)
before i could allow him turn the night into a political upheaval, i started my undies stories. kaixin laughed. he simply loved it. dearie was delirious...and jacys, well, my undies got the better with him instead of sylvia lim...hahahaha....;9)
we had such fun conversation. guess who also loved to peep when u squat to poo? guess who was wearing a red thongs that night?....guess who wasn't wearing anything?
oops! it's almost 11.30pm. i suggested we split. if not, we would miss the last bus. off we left the hotel. dearie walked with us to the bus stop. then she exclaimed that she wanted to go geylang and looked at the mei meis teetujias there and maybe some transvestites.
jacys started his vivid descriptions of all these teetus. that got her even more stimulated. it so happened my bus came. i was a bit worn out. i bit the guys goodnite and hopped into the bus.
the 3 jokers hailed a cab and off they went to geylang for the guided tour by jacys.
.....and i believe most of u who follow up till here have read kaixin's GEYLANG FR. should have been there with them. it would be even funnier with me around.....;9)
anyway, after the geylang exhilarating trip, the bunch sent dearie back to her hotel. she just couldn't bear to leave jacys, our alien from pluto. i think jacys also fallen in love with her and couldn't bear to part. so kaixin just kicked him out of the cab to accompany dearie back lovingly to her hotel room...and...and...and...
wow....the foggy steamy night began.....

to be cont'd - THE FINALE of the ozzie terror vs the alien from pluto....JUICING THE JACYS....;9)

PAGE 2

she ...she...she turned into......
she turned into vampire?...nope! a she wolf ( the moon was full that night)?....that one maybe and nearly she turned into one...howl...howl!...woof, woof!!...hahahaha...;9)
NO!...MY DEARIE TURNED PINK!!! BLUSHING BRIGHT PINK!!
from her head down all the way to her boobs...SHE WAS PINKY!! ( but luckily she din became pinky the clown, or i would surely ve it then!)
dearie: bob....i m feeling hot....umm..um..I M HOT, BOB!!! do something....i need my whiskey!
lts, indifferent: oh, go get one urself....there the drink stall just opp.....( couldn't be bothered cos i m also feeling something...HUNGRY! and dun ever interrupt a hungry piggy when he was eating....;9)
she looked pitifully at kx who was also slurpping away the food. he was also feeling something...yes...HUNGRY, TOO!
oh shit!! dearie, u and ur drink!....i stood up abruptly and headed for the drink stall beckoning kx to stay put and enjoy his meal.
at the drink stall, this bloody hiao in flowery shirt lau han koo was mopping the table. i stood there: ONE BEER PLEASE....
he treated me as invisible. din respond. can u believe that? he just went about doing his stuffs. then he went into his little storeroom. i stood there like an idiot. waiting.
he came back after about 5 minutes. i asked again: ONE BEER PLEASE! this time louder thinking he might be deaf or what.
the bloody lau hiao hanku looked at me, gave me a disdain glare and said: SORRY CLOSED SHOP LIAO...get lost!
basket! the attitude of the local....damn fucked up!!...;9(
i returned to my table, gave the same disdain glare i got just now to my dearie and continued my makan. she was intimidated. she shuddup and watched us finished our meals.
after that, we exit this fucked up place and crossed over where there was a 711 24-hr store.
there i told dearie to go in and get whatever drink she desired. as she was coming out....a spacesphip landed....hahahaha....;9)
along came, s/he/it - JACYS, the alien from pluto!
jacys: hi guys!....u must be the most bo liao notorious leetahsar....?
lts: huh?...u know me meh??? and who are u... chiohunk alien from pluto???
dearie: bob, this is s/he/it, JACYS...dun u know him??
hmmp! as though i care! anyway, kaixin was friendly and handshook him. what to do, shook him, too....
jacys: so u r cantbeassed...the terror from ozzieland?
we laughed and chatted along the street. it was kind of weird talking and laughing on a busy street. i suggested we returned to the lounge and so we proceed back.

...to be cont'd....

JUICING JACYS, the s/he/it from pluto

one fine sunday, i just came back from a hearty sweat out in california gym, my handphone beeped.
"WANNA MEET UP?" went the message. scrolled down...and oh my god!! i had forgotten. dearie was in town. i hurriedly changed and zoomed off to meet her at GRAND PARK ROYAL PLAZA.
how blur could i get? i thought that was in orchard rd so i smsed dearie whether it was next to LIDO. no reply. presumed it was and headed in that direction taking bus.
reaching there, it was ROYAL PLAZA HOTEL or something like that and hell! it was under renovation. NOT OPENED UNTIL NEXT YEAR.
goodness me!! i gooned again! called dearie, she too was blur and din know how to describe her location. someone else took over her handphone. kaixin was on the line. he directed me concisely and off i went - in bus again to RPH which was located just next to FUNAN THE IT MALL....what a blur goon i was!
was in the bus now. the hp beeped again: "bob, u gotta to hurry...kaixin is so quiet. i m very boring...."
hmmm...kaixin the cheongster quiet?? boring?? din sound like him. he was a CHEONGSTER and cheongster was suppose to be gifted with glib of the tongue. if not, how to cheong??
finally, i reached the hotel. zoomed into the lounge where they were idling away, each with a whiskey and coke.....the bar was bare except for the 'assets' and the 'cheongster'....hahahaha....'9)....and...and....and....

simmer down, guys and girls!!
...and...and..and...
AND NOTHING HAPPENED!....hahaaa...got'cha!
why? u r thinking dearie cantbeassed would be passionately smooching our resident cheongster....frenchieing and steaming up the bar?....no! nothing of that happen.
they were very decent good girl and boy sitting very discipline on the high stool sipping their whiskey coke....yes, what a let down!
lts: dearie!! u r back!!....this must be cai sim?
kaixin: yes kai xin...not ur regular veggie cai sim....hahaha...
dearie: hi ya, bob! u r looking good!....
just could help taking my eyes off to immense assets. and kaixin, my goodnes...he looked like an authentic monk to me!.....not a monk wannabe, an abbot maybe!....haahahaa...
he radiated with glow that any mum would love him to be her dutiful son-in-law....so any mum out there picking a prospective son in law?...u got one super qualified one here...hahahaha....cai sim kaixin....hahahaha....;9)
after the intro, i sat down. the chiobu bartender asked me what would i ve. of course my usual, H20 on rocks....made that the tap H20 ...sorry no PERRIER...no mineral...just TAP will do, thank you.
the disappointed girl was just too glad to serve me after i electrocuted her with my power gaze.....;9)
after a sip of my TAP, i started the conversation rolling. i could sense dearie was getting a bit sleepy and kaixin was restless.
lts: how dearie, what brings u back so soon?
dearie: huh, bob....u forgotten....i m here for my shopping spree..
lts: wow, rich girl!!...and what about u kaixin, what's up with u?
kx: no lah...me only lecturing.....to tell u the truth...but pls keep it a secret, can?....(sorry, i posted this FR so no more secret liao).....me an associate professor, bluffing away in NANTAH U....but again like all NANTAH professors, we are always conned by cheena mei meis....*sigh!*....me included....*sigh again!*
lts:...u mean all NANTAH bigshots not only big up there...very big itchy down there too???
kx blushed. dearie burst out laughing, her mouthful of whiskey coke almost splashed out!
awkard silence followed. i stared at dearie's right er..u know what...kx stared at her left u know what too. cos when she laughed heartily, her u know whats vibrated tremendously...hahahaha...;9)
aiyah!...shit!! this is an adult story...i better make it straight: U KNOW WHATS were her big assets boobs!
dearie wasn't restrained too...dun ever think she is! if she could make her eyes go in different direction, her left would be staring at my stuff down there. her right would be at kx's bigger stuff down his....;9)
but knowing she couldn't she looked to the left, then to her right...we knew what was she looking at *blush, blush*....hahahaha....;9)... the horny girl from oz!
after she down her dunno how many drinks, i called for dinner. me hungry after a hard work out and so was kx. as for dearie, whiskey coke was her main course. she must have been a thirsty fish in her past life....;9(
we proceeded to a nearby basement food court at peninsula plaza, ordered our food and settled to eat.
something weird started to happen....i observed a drastic change in dearie...OH MY GOD!!....WHAT'S HAPPENING TO HER???....she ...she...she turned into......

to be cont'd.....

I WAS NAKED IN THE GYM!

http://forums.delphiforums.com/leetahsar/messages


I WAS NAKED IN THE GYM!

raining and raining this month. such a depressive period. monsoon season now on so remember ur umbrella when u go out.
since i could hardly go to swim in queenstown pool, the other alternative to rid my piggy lard or ter yu was to go to my california fitness gym.
yesterday i was there again. wow! mediacorpse guo, liang pan ling2 and shaun chen (the idiot who acted xiao xin in holland v) was there filming.
guo liang was very friendly. i exclaimed, "hey, guo liang??" he smiled as exclaimed courtesouly, "ni hao." pan ling2 also smiled. but shaun was with a bf. this chap really got small little beady eyes.
anyway bo chap n proceed to work out in gym.
after sweating it out, headed for the changing room to shower. after a refreshing massaging shower (got massage shower head), returned to my locker wrapped only by towel.
troubles brewing.......;9(


I LOST MY KEYS to my lock of my locked locker!!!
how???
panic crept onto me!....i was naked saved only by the towel around my fat piggy waist!
just when i needed james, the indian juga who used to oversee the changing room, he wasn't around. having no choice, i stormed out of the changing room to the main area....down to the reception...and what else...announce my predicament to the staffs there.
it was an embarrasing moment cos i wasn't with power abs yet...i was with a combination of all the abs...a big ball of TER YUE for my tummy....;9( wrapped in towel.
the staff, the arabian sweet girl who very awk ka liao with me brought me to the towel room. the uncle in charged wasn't around...hell!!..he had gone for dinner. what to do now?
she advised me to return to the changing room and wait for me. once he was backed from his meal, he would come to my aid.
bo bian! returned to the changing room feeling very very pissed!
feeling bored, i went to steam it out at the suana room....

WARNING: NEVER...I REPEAT...NEVER DOZE OFF IN SUANA ROOM!!

That was precisely what happened to me...when the uncle came to wake me up from the suana room...shit!! i was exposed!...my towel was on the moist floor....*blush*
good thing, i wasn't singing the mari kita national anthem then....;9(
quickly i wrapped myself up...i got no time to think of whether i was deviously being molested or what when i dozed off. off i exit with the uncle. he was carrying a threatening monstrous clipper. an cutter that could break the lock or my anaconda too...hahahaha...;9)
SCARY AND THREATENING cutter that was!
before he went into action, he pulled out a bunch of keys from his pocket. wriggling infront of me....hallelujah!!! THOSE WERE MY LOST KEYS to my lock.
i was so happy and thanked him profusely short of smacking him...hahahaha....;9)
finally got the lock opened without breaking it. changed and quickly buzzed off.
in the bus, i was wondering....when i dozed off, what could have happened?....why was my tightly wrapped towel on the floor?...oh my god!!! did someone - u know - play with my ding dongs??...blush..blush...and blush...i shudder to think of what could have happened.
haizz!! can't be bothered lah...it's just a piece of meat ..a piece of muscle....and a piece of unreveled embarrassment!...*blush*

lure of the green undies, oh my god!

lure of the green undies, oh my god!


yesterday, something funny happened in this forum...I WAS BANNED ...dunno why. no one told me the reason too.

it was very sunny so off i went to queenstown pool for a dip since could no longer access to post.

things could never get weirder yesterday.

inside the gents changing room, there was a silly indian - look like a FT professional. i was feeling good so i whistled as i changed into my st michael's swim trunk.

i whistled. he whistled too. i whistled louder. he followed suit. then he smiled at me. goodness! the toilet seem brighter with his set of gleaming pearly teeth!.

i smiled back as a friendly courteous gesture. after pulling up my trunk and tightened it, off i went to the pool.......

.....to be cont'd......




PART 2


about an hour later, i reckon i must have burnt off enough ter yue (piggy lard), i emerged from the pool...proceed to the changing room.

it was terribly quiet. the whole changing room was bare except for a flashing green light enamating from one of the hangers. oh goodness!....A FLOURESCENT LIME GREEN UNDIES!!!

it was hanging there....waving franctically at me to go nearer and investigate. that was precisely what i did..

wow! not bad...not bad at all. BUMS brand undies. the high end expensive one. i bought a set of 3 too for like $19, meaning each was about $6+. this undies was of special material called microfibre or the same type used to make swimtrunks.

ho say!! looked quite brand new...so i checked it out. and to my disappointment, M size. me was XL. how could i wear that? my disciplined anaconda sure would be suffocated in it......;9(

so no choice, i left it there alone......i was definitely sure that green undies was crying its heart out too.....off i went into the showering cubicle.

as i was showering away, another guy came in. the whole changing room now only me showering and that weirdo guy who just came in.

when i exit from the cubicle...oh my god!!.....that weirdo guy was sniffing the green undies!!!....yucks!

he took the undies after a few deep sniff and put it into his bag and went out. i was stunned!.....anyway, it wasn't my size. if not, i would have taken it instead...hahahaha...mati!....flame bombs heading this way again!!

..........to be cont'd.......

part 3: LURE OF THE LIME GREEN UNDIES

that wasn't the end of my green undies story....
i dried myself with towel. stripped naked...yes naked with dingdong and anaconda exposed! was about to put on my own personal pairs of XL BUMS undies, the bloody FT indian suddenly entered and startled me. i tot he had already left an hour ago when i first met him initially changing when i just entered to change into my swim trunk.
he was staring me there....i blushed...and quickly pulled up my BUMS. lecherously smiling away, he approached me and asked me whether i noticed a lime green undies. it was his and he forgot to retrieve it.
am i suppose to believe his lame excuse and story?
so i told him: oh i din take it. but a really chiohunk who is damn handsome and muscular took it....
wow! u should ve seen his bewildered excited and ethusiastic face. without a word of thanks he rushed out to hunt for that exaggerated 'chiohunk' i cooked up for him.....he tot that guy must have his lime green undies and i guessed most u all would know what's his lustful intention.
as for me, i quickly changed and get the hell out of the toilet and out of the pool just in case that bloody FT indian came back...
there is a saying in hokkien: bo herr, hay ya ho.
translated: if u cannot get the fish, then the prawn will do...
AND DEFINITELY, I WASN'T GOING TO BE THAT SITTING 'PRAWN'!.....hahahahaha...;9)
...end of the green undies lure......;9)

the face looks like a flying fox....hahahaha..but this is not a flying fox.....;9)






neither is this.....;9)

MY PET FOXIE, THE FLYING FOX

guess what i saw?.....

FLYING FOXES....one whole brood of them feasting on my ripen pink guavas. they were hanging upside down with the hind legs holding firm to the branches and their fore legs which is linked with a stretchable membrane - the wing with their hinds.
cousin peeleepian was there with me and we were gazing at it. i din know when a missile was shot out from peelepian's handy catapult. it hit bullseye at one of the hungrily feasting creatures. it fell....and the rest of the flying foxes were startled and flew away squeaking noisily as they went.
i was shock. why did peelepian do that for? we headed to the fallen target. it was already dead bleeding from the head.....;9(
peeleepian was one bold bloke. he flipped the carcass over. oh my god!! clinging in fright onto it was a baby flying fox!
peeleepian was drooling and told me he would barbeque it. he said it was very nutritious and delicious. i asked for the baby flying fox. if not, i think it would also end up in his tummy......;9(
this began my acquaintance with flying fox.....
i named it foxie. it was cute and a female. it was already quite developed with wings and big soulful gazing eyes. i used a used towel and hanged it upside down carefully placing the baby flying fox inside.
since it was a baby, i went to get some KLIM milk powder and mixed it water. then i fed it to the fox with a straw. happily it loved it and was suckling quite greedily....;9)
very soon after a few weeks, foxie was grown. i kept it in my big rabbit cage. yes...me was keeping rabbits too then with the hamsters, guinea pigs..and my white duck...and chickens with their brood of chicks.
it was a mini zoo in my large fenced up compound where the guava tree proudly shaded over us.
there wasn't much of a rapport between me and foxie. i fed it regularly from dropped guavas. all it knew was feeding time. greedy critter was quite blainless!
when it reached quite mature size, granny told me to let it go...or else, she would love to cook it in double boiled tonic.
reluctantly, i let it out for the last time. she was quite tame and would allow me to stroke her belly. the dark golden brown fur was really soft and silky. she loved it and would wriggle her hind legs like a little doggie. in fact it was like a little doggie!
i left her out. it flew awhile. then she would return to me clinging invertedly on my outstretched forearm wrapped in towel. her claws were rather sharp, u know. i would fling her ...and off she flew away.
i let her had all the freedom expecting she to just flew away. but no she din. soon night fell. the guava tree was in season again and loaded with fruits.
the swarm of flying foxes came a visiting once more.....next morning, foxie was gone. there was a tinge of unwillingness welling within me....but then for her own good, she should go.

PART 5 - THE FLYING TREE GECKO and THE FLYING FOX

a sudden shadow flit. yes! something was at the trunk of my guava tree as i gazed up from my supine postion on the swing.

i got up and went to look at the upright strong brownish trunk. aye.....nothing leh..why??? wait!! what's that white flashing little triangle thing??....

i observed closely....yes!! there was something there. a big gecko...a big brown lizard fleshing its white little triangular piece of skin from its throat.

up i climbed....silently and stealthly....i grabbed its tail and swooshed down to the ground.

i just caught a lizard with wings!! A FLY GECKO!!

it started to wriggle in frenzy.......i was a bit startled and unsure whether it would bite or not so in a quick swing i flung it away...

it was a beautiful manouvre. it sort of 'fly'....gliding gracefully upwards to the guava trunk.....and quickly crawling upwards until i lost sight of it.....

everyday i would lay on my swing and look up for the graceful gliding flying gecko. i din disturb it anymore and treat it as my new found weird pet. the one that was almost held in captivity by me.......;9)

i decided not to disturb it as i had no idea how was i going to keep it. it needs to fly and glide. i also din no what kind of foods it should be feeding on....so the best thing was to leave it alone to fly around my guava tree......;9)

night fall, it was the super guava season. one just needed to look up and u would see the whole tree laden with yummy big fruits...yum yum......not not yum yum for long......

shadowy flitting creatures came in brood to land on my guava tree. they were squeaking. i grabbed my torchlight and shined at them.....guess what i saw?..........

to be cont'd.......

THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE IS still FREE OF CHARGE...

the majestic of a sunrise symbolises new day...new hope...new life....new expectation.....

THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE IS FREE...

THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE IS FREE...
the fresh crisp morning air...the beautiful azure clear blue sky..the wondrous majestic rainbow after a drizzle....the cooling rains after a spell of sizzling heat.....
the warm smile of a total stranger...and the charity of the lost $5....
they are priceless!....very sadly, not many can see it. most take it for granted and even ignore all this miraculous natural occurences.....sad....;9(
so from today, let's enjoy all these god's wonders....and set free the bond that binds ur heart...let us regain the compassion within us that was lost along the way when we were distracted by the avarice of material gains and wealth.....
these are the wealth even the poorest possesses and no one ...not even the paps can take that away...
THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE IS STILL AND TRULY FREE OF CHARGE!

PART 5: WHERE THE INSECTS STICK AND THE GECKO FLIES

my next weird pet - STICK INSECTS and FLYING LIZARD

PART 5: WHERE THE INSECTS STICK AND THE GECKO FLIES

my monster pink guava tree never failed to delight me with a hosts of surprises.

i just bucked up my courage and tried to climb it. as i was climbing, manouvering the branches with my limps, i chanced upon a funny looking stick.

i thought i saw it moved. when i paused to observe, it was motionless. then i looked closely. it appeared to be an elongated insect. IT'S A BROWN STICK INSECT!

wow!! i was thrilled. further up above me, i noticed there were another few moving sticks.

goodie!....i descended. ran into the kitchen. searched for a plastic bag and a rubber band to tie. and hurriedly climbed up the branch again to catch all the stick insects.

my grandma told me stick insects loved guava leaves. no problem. i got a whole monster tree.

i reared my stick insects in a empty aquarium and place daily fresh twigs of guava leaves for them to feed...such fun to see the slow knotty movement of the insects.

if u startled them, they just freeze and really looked like a twig from the guava branch.....;9)

one day, i was sitting on my swing in my big garden compound with the guava shading over it. i slept on the swing looking up...

ZOOM! Something just flitted across one branch to another....I though it was a fluttering of the leaves shadow...but no! there it went again - and not flick...there was something just glide over....

to be cont'd...

PART 5: SPIDERS FEEDING TIME...

After we had witnessed the FUCK SPIDER, i will now narrate about how to feed the spiders....
as everyone knows, the old days kampong was infested with mozzies...big monster sized ones. if u got bitten, it would be one big itchy lump on ur skin....;9(
funny though like no one ever died of dengue fever in my kampong even though mozzies were festering!
this was how we fed the spiders. peeleepian and me would go to the most mozzies infested area. we stood still there with a plastic bag tied to ur trousers.
the mozzies would come to feast on us. usually we went about topless. so i would observe peeleepian skin; he on me.
once a mozzie landed on either of us and started sucking our blood. we tolerated and let the insect swelled up its body. then controlling our strength, we smacked onto the insect. we didn't kill it. we just knocked it out. it was still alive...maybe just stunned.
then we would peel off the wings rendering it flightless and put it into our plastic bag and headed back home to our pet spiders.
we would then let it out and put a wingless mozzie on the matchbox top. the hungry spiders would pranced, posed and then steady itself taking accurate aim, it would pounce on the wriggly blood fattened up mozzie.
that would be its meal for the day.
oh yes, we also fed our spiders with out spittle, too. usually after we sucked on a sweet, we spat a tiny globulus of sweetened spittle and released our pet spiders.
it would love our spittle and fester on it quite motionless like enjoying every drop of it......;9)
gross?....come to think of it....PRETTY GROSS!...hahahaha.....;9)
- end of fighting and fucking spiders.....;9)

PART 4: LET'S PLAY FIGHTING SPIDERS

cousin peeleepian was one hell of a guy. he liked got built in spiders sensor. he knew where it would be hiding.
we must be very slow and cautious when trying to catch this illusive iridescent jumping fighting spiders which were quite small and black with bluish green shiny stripes. what a beauty they were!
it lived in between 2 blades of leaves. peeleepian would stoop down to see if there was the arachid dwelling in between 2 leaf blades. once he was sure there was one inside there, he would clasp both his palm gently over the blades and in a swift move, snapped the whole branch and quickly put the who thing in the transparent plastic bag that we brought lest the spider would just jump off into the forested floor and be lost!.
we were looking for the slimmer body male spider. only the male fights. the females breed and are bigger with a rounder abdomen and smaller frontal pincers pair of legs.
i loved to rear and keep the female cos it was cuter and ...i dunno...appeared to be friendlier and easily trained....
YES I TRAINED THOSE FIGHTING SPIDERS....lol!
after we had caught enough...and it was tedious work actually. it was difficult to allocate the hideout of these spiders, u know. we would happily return home to "train" our pet spiders.......;9)
i would put the male one into the empty match box lined with a blade of leaf. it would willingly jump in and then hide under the leaf.
for the female, i put it in a jar and place more leaves inside cos the female might breed.
if we noticed the female had bigger swollen abdomen, this mean that she was loaded with eggs. we would mate her with the male spider.
this was a very weird process cos if u leave the female and the male alone, they would fight instead of mate. and this was what we would do.
first, the female spider was let out onto the matchbox. then i would gently press on her abdomen. she would be render quite motionless except her head would be exposed.
then cousin peelepian would let our the male spider onto the matchbox top. the male spider then would start doing a very funny 'spider dance' with out stretched frontal longer legs. it would vibrate its pair of legs and slowly approach the immobilised female and the legs would dig into her thorax quivering and quivering......this mean that mating had already taken place.
after the male deposited his cum into the fat female and lost interest, peelepian would return it into the matchbox. i would release the female spider and returned her to her glass jar.
within days, she would be weaving a cocoon and laying her eggs....and soon u find many tiny spiders hatching.
at this stage, it would be appropriate to release all the baby spiders and the female mother to the wild....u see how we preserved those spiders even at our tender age, we were already practising conservation......;9)
as for the male, well, once a while, we would let 2 males hop onto the matchbox top and they would fight it out.....very interesting sight. they would use their front pair of legs to push each other. the loser would let go and run away.
do u know what we use to feed the spiders?
.......to be cont'd......

PART 3: FIGHTING SPIDERS....AND FUCK SPIDERS.

more pets to come....;9)

For those who dunno where the term FUCK SPIDERS come from...well, read this and u may know it's originality....hahahahah.....;9)
cousin peeleepian and i were the best childhood pals. not only he was my cousin, he was liked tarzan. he was my idol, u know. he feared nothing. whatever creepies crawlies, critters, yucking things...etc...he grabbed!
he influenced me greatly...so i also grabbed what ever things that crawled, swam, flew or bite.
like i said before, we were simple kampong kids. poor but happy. we got not many toys to play with as our parents were poor then. but we were very courageous and creative .
peeleepian always would bring me to mt faber area to catch spider. under the hill, used to live a sinewy old malay man. he had a small plot of land there where he grew rambutan and planted tapioca and sweet potatoes.
yum...yum....we would always time the ripening so that we could steal some of pak awang's harvest...hahahaha...;9)
pak awang as a nasty old fuck! he would scream at us when he found us digging up the his tapiocas or sweet potatoes.
it was a good thing he was a limp. if not we would not be able to escape him so easily with all the loots......;9)
in my old kampong house was a large compound where grandma since young had grown a guava tree. this wonderful pink fruit tree had since grown old with my my grandma. it was monstrous and majestic not only providing the family with much need shade but vit C rich pink guavas. the fruits were abundant. i never passed a day without eating a couple of those seedy sweet guavas. it was like my daily staple of fruits too.....;9)
my pink guava tree also attracted many different kinds of colorful and rare birds....yellow merobok, the sweet singing merobok, parrots, thrushes, etc....and once even the rare hornbills...no joke!
these hornbills were scary bird...so large and with the monstrous yellow curved beak. the pair which frequently my guave tree really looked menancingly threatening.
so as it was ....kampong days passed by so relaxed and not a dull moment.
peelepian would visit me almost everyday to climb the guava tree and pluck the ripe fruits. he could pluck so many at one go, we even had many spares to distribute to my favorite neighbour next door, ah eng. this hardworking girl helped my mum to look after all my tender siblings....
(ah eng had since passed away a few years back. she was inflicted with lung cancer after years of working in the petrol kiosk. she was barely 50 then....sob...sad....;9(
granny would want me to pluck those overly ripen fruits. i shuddered when she chomped into it with her quite toothless mouth. do u know why?
over riped fruits contained tiny squiggling maggots. it wrrigled frantically when u broke open the riped soft yellow fruit that exposed it's pink flesh...and *yucks!*..those wriggling maggots..
granny said those were the sweetest with the maggots. she even assured us it was ok to devour the fruits with those tiny white worms....*yucks!*...no thanks gran...u can have all the wormy fruits to ur delights!
while peeleepian climbed the tree, i would fix 2 lengths of tied bamboo poles extending the lengths as to hit down any high up good size guava.
my brother and sisters would also join in the fun and picked the fallen fruits....2 joined extended bamboo poles were really heavy to handle.....so only me being the eldest of the brood was strong enough to held it.
it was really really fun....what next to do was to wash the fruits and supped!........;9)
next, peeleepian would bring me to mt faber. this time we armed with empty match boxes and plastic bags again.
we were going to catch those iridescent bluish green jumping fighting spiders.....
to be cont'd........

PART 2 - WEIRD PETS

PART 2
other fighting insects that cousin peeleepian and i caught were crickets, scorpions, dragonfly, greenish jade beetle (we called KIM KU) and yes how can i forget the memorable cute stick insects.
crickets, i believe most know. only the males fight. this one we actually turn it into an enterprise. many kids also started into this cricket craze. every boys were busy catching the dark colored crickets and pitted the insects against each other.
mind u! we bet our meagre allowance of 5c or 10c against each others during the cricket match. some boys were so fedup when their cricket lost that they stamped on the defeated insect squashing all the juices and flattening the poor dead loser....;9(
crickets were interesting insects. beside fighting, the males sing quite a cricketty song....i just loved to listen to them during the night. i got a whole lot of them males and females. breeding them was so easy. just fed them with newspaper or leftover rice can already....
dragonfly was another interesting insect i reared. but this one normally after a brief moment of fun, it either ended up dead or i would set it free.
i had to go to the big longkang that ran through my kampong to catch this fast hovering flying majestic insects. there were the dark blue and the bright red. then there were the smaller thinner more colorful bright bluish damselfly.
watching the dragonflies darting and skimming above the gently flowing stream was a very relaxing sight to behold. once a while they would rest on the slanted concrete of the longkang. that was my chance to catch it by grabbing hold of it's wings.
caution here. the dragonfly also has nasty biting jaws. u have to back fold the 2 pairs of wings to render it powerless.
next step. i would tie a thread to it's tail. after that setting it free. so it's like a remote controlled insect linked by a long thread. very fun!
after awhile either the insect tired itself out and dropped dead or i tired myself and set it free.
the same was done to the bright greenish jade beetle which once a while would fly into our hall during the night attracted by the flourescent light.
the beetle was a bulky critter. it flew clumsily and usually nosedive turn-turtle and went into a frenzy spin. when it fell onto the floor, i would grab it. again, i would then tie a thread to it's hind leg, then walah! a remote controlled flying beetle.....hahahaha.....;9)
scorpions were notoriously dangerous. this one i left it to my bolder cousin peelepian to handle. again u put 2 scorpions together, they would slut it out, sometime ending death of the other.
this poisonous fella hid in damp dark places in the forested area of mt faber which was then the hilly range that surrounded bansiewsan. (it had since being cut into 2 hills: mt faber and telok blangah divided by henderson rd which cuts in between the original hill range.)
..to be cont'd.....

MY COLLECTIONS OF WEIRD PETS

i ve to start this narration from my kampong days in BANSIEWSAN which was located at this obselete road called JALAN BANGSI.
ve any of u heard of this road.
the new name is called HENDERSON from telok blangah leading all the way to bt merah.
BANSIEWSAN was the kampong where i was born and spent my most enjoyable primary school childhood days.
my attap home then was spacious with 2 rooms, a big hall and a super long, dark and narrow kitchen. this kitchen was the scariest of the whole house cos it was always very dark and eerie....it never failed to give me the creeps!
this was also our toilet where we could only pissed but cannot shit. to do the big time business, i had to walk a few houses though dusty clayey path to what we had PUBLIC LAVATORIES.
these are wooden holey shacks with a zinc roof. it simply had an oval hole where u squatted and dropped ur bombs into a black container aptly called the nightsoil container.
every wee hours of morning, the nightsoil collectors would come and replace the overflowing stinky yucky containers. the 6 lavatories were shared by the whole kampong. could u imagine every morning there would be a queue to use them. yes, first come first serve!
the lavatory stink like hell! when u finished ur business, the stench sticked onto ur clothing and followed u for hours!
now after intro u this, we get on to the real business....the kind of pets i used to have.
kampong kids, what could we have?....practically nothing. so we had to improvish and catch our own pets.
DUNG BEETLES - yes the shit feeding crawlies were among my pets. why? so gross!...yes, gross but very interesting.
u put the male rotund beetles together and they would start fighting. natural. males are always fighting over females....hahahaha....;9)
from beetles, together with my cousin peelepian (who's now a power pastor), we would equip ourselves with plastic bags n go to some barren sandy or clayey land to catch TIGER BEETLES.
these were very nasty beetles with threating monstrous biting hooked jaws. they were really fun insects and are very rare to find now.
u put 2 of these beetles in a closed jar and they would fight to its death! very fun to watch. in the open space, they fought too. the loser would just fly away. but in a jar...hehehehe...they killed each other mercilessly.
.....to be cont'd

...and more comments...and flammings followed...

merlion (christan24)
22-Nov 19:34
To:
ALL
2 of 29

124826.2 in reply to 124826.1
TEETU PICTURES PRESENTS
A SPIDERMAN PRODUCTION
A PORKY PIG PICTURES RELEASE
PRESENTING THE LATEST ASIAN SENSATION ...UNCLE PIGGY LEE as
' LEETAHSAR'
' a story of a monk who thought he was a pig but found out he was actually BOTH '
BLOCK BOOKINGS OPENS NOW !!!!
SCHOOL CONCESSIONS AVAILABLE !!!!!!


Y3N
22-Nov 20:38
To:
merlion (christan24)
6 of 29

124826.6 in reply to 124826.2
You miss out the red undies part.


From:
leetahsar
09:05
To:
exist15
7 of 29

124826.7 in reply to 124826.1
wow lau eh!..if blusoton din emailed me, i still din know i m being filmed.
where's my royalties??
new films, anyone interested:
TALES OF HORROR FROM THE CALIFORNIA GYM
PART 1: the night of the skinheads in red undies
PART 2: the arabian sweet mei mei
PART 3: my PT chiohunk meets choobeebee
PART 4: my personal locker bayi guard in the toilet
PART 5: the day of the ang mo boss
i will add in a couple of msg* just to enhance the flavour...;9)
*msg: mojo, siao and gila


leetahsar
09:06
To:
exist15
8 of 29

124826.8 in reply to 124826.1
lai ai...cast ur votes and get ur XXX+X STORIES....horror from the gym within!


runscape
09:12
To:
merlion (christan24) unread
9 of 29

124826.9 in reply to 124826.2
SCHOOL CONCESSIONS AVAILABLE !!!!!!
Hi, How about the senior citizens who have contributed to the prosperity of Singapore????????
Don't forget: Nobody will be left behind!!!!!!

A READER DID THIS FOR ME...SO CUTE!

A TRIBUTE TO LEETAHSAR.....so funny!..hahahaha.....;9)
thanks, exist15!

PART 2

after i mopped all the messed up floored. i checked on candy which was till under the bed. she had licked all the 3 pups clean. they were now suckling her nipples. so cute!
i left her alone and went for a shower. from that day on, i ended up with a bitch pom and 3 pups. i wasn't sure what kind of pups were they. anyway, they were so so cute and playful.......;9)
the only bad thing now was mamalee's stereo was louder than candy's barking and all the 3 pups would chorus in. when the bitch barked, the pups would provide the background 'music' effect. so cute!.....4 different pitches...and if u add my mamalee's one...wow lau eh!!......it was a choir!
after a couple of weeks, the pup developed into their colored fur. i got a maroon, a black and a white. the former 2 was male, while the last was a bitch.
so i named them: KING KONG, cos that was the eldest and biggest size, AH ORH, this was the smartest black fur with a white V collar and CHAR BOR cos the only female and white some more.
mamalee made alot of noise cos no one want to pick up the shits of the pups which were all over the place. they were now almost 2 mths old.
she issued an edict could only keep one of the pups, the rest to be sold away!......
so bo bian, i chose the black one cos this one was the most unique. 2 colors black with a V white collar and the smartest. at the age of 2 mths, he already knew how to cross my legs like a circus dog. all i needed was a piece of doggie chocolate, the favorite of all the pups and the bitch too...
so that was how pui soh ended buying of my pups the youngest white bitch CHAR BO. and she re-named her MUI TAO......
and the 3 doggies ended up with different fates. my AH ORH was the most disastrous. he died miserably at the jaws of a pariah stray dog...and my old man was the cause of his demise.....;9(
shall i continue the stories with all my 4 doggies?.......
to be cont'd

MY BITCH AND HER 3 CUTE SHIHTZUS

MY BITCH AND HER 3 CUTE SHIHTZUS

was having lunch with sotong today at mei ling st h c.
pui soh who manned the ipoh kuay teow was in a jovial mood. so started chit chat with her.
lts: the last time u bought the shihtzu pup from me, what color it turn to?
sotong was blur. how come suddenly puppies popped up in my conversation. he looked at me wide eyed with his ipoh kuay teow strands dangling at his mouth of his surprised face.
so started my BITCH AND HER 3 SHIHTZUS story.....
when i was a male nurse, my sister bought a pomeranian bitch. very clever, i named her CANDY cos she was a very sweet bitch.
day one, taught her to do her pee and big business in the toilet, and she was instant toilet trained. so clever this brown bitch pom!
next taught her to do the turn around...like pirouetting ballerina on just her hind legs. again, one lesson and she mastered it. so clever!
when i patted my chest, she would jump up to let me catch her and hold her like a baby...so clever!
i taught her so many tricks. u may like to know, my bitch pom could understand a few languages too...engrish, mandarin, and even hokien...so basically, she was a hokien pom bitch.
everyone in the family just loved her. she was like human except she barked more than we talked......hahahaha....;9)
yes she really barked!...bitch pom is very noisy u know. when there was the slightest sound from the outside the closed door, she would start barking feverishly.
CANDY was liked our sensing door alarm. sometime even salesmen, or visitors just reaching our floor landing and proceed towards my unit, she would start barking. we anticipated visitor liao...so clever this bitch!
mamalee fed her with cooked liver and rice. suddenly her appetite increased. became damn greedy. everything also she supped. apple core, pineapple core, orange, ......almost everything we ate, she must eat too.
her favorite was durian. when we feasted on durians, she would bark impatiently and demanded her share....so clever and greedy this bitch!
one day, when i was back from my nursing stint, i found the whole hall was littered with shits..and shits...and more shits!! no one was at home...
'CANDY!!!...U BAD GIRL!!...WHY U SHIT EVERYWHERE?!!' i would yell. then i retrieved my cane. was furious and looking high and low where she was hidding. me going to smack the bitch until she would remember it for the rest of her bitchy life!
then i followed the trail of dunno what...it din appear to be shit. like some other thing. it din look like shit or smelled like it. oh my god!! i thought something bad must have happened to my bitch.
there hidding under my monster bed, a pup just ejected out from her pussy....she looked at me with the saddest motherly eyes....i realised she was giving birth.
my sister actually bought a pregnanted bitch!! oh my god!
before i could think of anything, candy was licking at the first pup. then another little pair of legs emerged from her pussy.....another pup!!
this one was black colored. it came out smoothly. so i lovingly patted candy....she gave a weak wagging of her bushy foxy tail....
i left her alone to tend to the pups. suddenly she wailed pitifully. i quickly bent down to see what was happening under my bed.
candy was wailing to me for help. another pup was emerging from her pussy!! she was too weak to force it out. goodness! luckily me a male missy, so i delivered that last pup for her by gently pulling it out.
this was a beauty. very small. white furball.....so so cute!
.....to be cont'd