GONE.....MONSTER PIGGY GONE....

GONE.....MONSTER PIGGY GONE....

next morning, i was back at the ward as usual. i went check patient.
the monster piggy was still there. yes, still in coma. i felt was filled with sympathy for him. he wasn't very old but definitely was very rich. all those gold and valuables i stripped from him..must some kind of TOWKAY or what.
and now.....look at him - one almost dead monster piggy!
oh shit!!...oh great!! his humongous butt was sitting on a big puddle of urine. what the hell the night duty nurse was doing?...or did monster piggy time his pee just for me?
bo bian!! cleaned lor! lucky a plastic sheet was placed below if not hell man...me even had to change the bedsheet. as could be seen, being a missy was worst than a filipino maid!
we were more like personal shit and pee maid.....;9(
i dried bath him. it was really tedious for my early morning routine. after the turning and tossing him for the body mopping, my back began to strain and ache.....;9( he really took up most of my morning time...just one monster piggy, i was already half dead after the cleaning process.
this freaky piggy was also an oily monster. so much ter yue exuded from his pores...and those thick flabs of meat overlapping his bosom, tummy and limbs...my god!
phew!! done....finally done with him! time for my coffee break......
i turned only, he regurgitated some milky fluid which was feeding through his nostril. oh shit!! here i go again....dry cleaning...and there went my coffee break.....

the motherly matron came to me when i was about done cleaning the monster piggy.
m m: tahsar, u did a wonderful job on this monster! *big smile*....his condition is really serious and bad. we gotta transfer him now to TAN TOCK SENG intensive care.....so here are his medical files...since u ve serviced him, u accompanied him with the ambulance to TTSH, ok...
lts: huh??....ok lor.... *sulking*
after calling all the 'artillery' available in the ward, we strenously lifted this monster onto the nearby trolley. i covered him with a white sheet. he was totally naked u know. due to his size, the bedsheet barely covered fully.
can u imagine: with the whole sheet covered over, and u could still still the lumpy fat thigh. it's like the sheet only covered from his tummy to his ankle....;9) and only half of his supined body
bo bian, i wheeled him to the waiting ambulance. along the way, a sudden gust of wind blew. the white sheet was blown flying like a kite. oh shit!! INDECENT EXPOSURE of the monster piggy...so so embarrasing! luckily his snake wasn't an anaconda. it was a limping tiny worm quite hidden inside his folds of fats.
desperately i chased after the accursed flying sheet. managed to catch it and hurry back to cover him. doubling my speed, i wheeled him to the ambulance van through a throng of uncontrolled embarrassing laughter....i never blushed so much in my life!
luckily trolley was designed with retractable wheels, if not me would sure to snap my aching back transferring monster piggy!
even inside the van, this monster piggy had already filled up most of the space. i got to squeeze in. goodness! body contact with this oily ter!!...so fucking irritating!! i could hardly move!
about 20 minutes of tortorous ride in a cramped sardine piggy van, the ambulance finally reached TTSH.
unloaded and wheel him to the reporting nurse's station. handled over everything - his medical files and all his valuables of gold etc, my chore and mission accomplished. time to head back to the waiting ambulance to return to the deadman's ward called BOWYER'S WARD.....to wait for my next sadistic torturing assignment.....
while in the ambulance, i suddenly was overwhelmed by the feeling of compassion...i was silently weeping for the monster piggy....and sincerely hoping he would pull through even though he had in his unconscious state sadistised this poor male missy.
i realized.....what's the point of his big gold necklace, his huge centipede size bracelets, his deep greened jaded rings....all his $1000 bills...etc....what could all those help him now?
NOTHING!....even if he did recover which i really hope so too, he might be physically paralysed. he was down with a serious stroke...and at his young age, i really hate to think how he was going to handle his days to follow....
there was nothing much i could do...but just did a silent prayer that GOD would be will him and had mercy with him....amen!
not long after this, i quit my post. hell! i got to give in my immediate resignation cos i was accepted into my horticulture training. i was told to refund a month's pay since i din give the hospital advance notice of 1 mth. for that suffering month, i actually got no pay cos i had to refund one month's pay. i actually worked for free for my most suffering month......;9(
i could have waited another month but i dreaded cos i won't be put in ward duties anymore. for that month, i would be transferred to be a 'MODEL PATIENT' to be practised as live model patient by nurses on training or undergoing practical tests. those sadistic horny missies sure would want private anatomy lessons on my most senstive parts....then those merciless poking through all the orifices in my body, the blood sample taking with needles, the saline injection, the flatus tubes..etc...
no way man!! thanks!...no way!!...i paid the bloody hospital one pay's month and it was good bye and good luck!
motherly matron was reluctant to see me go. she told me to stay put as she got confident in me i would make a super male missy. this was what i replied to her..
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, MA'AM!....u r so so kind..but if i stay hor, the next patient would be my turn!
my weight had dropped drastically while being a male missy. it was like 57kg. i had never hit that kind of 'slimness' before since secondary school days. this was my best slim record!
i couldn't eat properly..couldn't sleep peacefully...and worst couldn't even have a good shit!! u stood whole day in the wards...on ur toe running here and here....all ur shits were constipated....;9( . when i tried to shit, it was really a damn damn suffering duration for me.
should i stay on, i surely would be left a pile of bones and skin, too!
...with this, ends my missy stories. what do u think of my MALE MISSY DAYS?

THE MONSTROUS PIGGY

the monstrous pig in coma.....another torturous ward adventure....the cold monster swine and all his gold.....(i think this swine was one dead pig in the end...poor piggy)
this is the final part of DAYS OF THE MALE MISSY.
there are many other little gap fillers stories....on and off, i may just put it up.
this one finally awaken me to the raw truth of LIFE and what's LIFE is all about...
LIFE'S VERY FRAGILE....this i just learnt from my DAYS OF MALE MISSY.....it's unpredictable. one moment, one maybe happy laughing, eating or bonking...and the next he's in coma or drop dead or forgets to wake up from his permanent slumber....
and so...MAN PROPOSE; HEAVEN DISPOSE.....
so while we are alive and kicking, try to do more good. be compassionate. be happy and joyous that u r healthy and alive.
DON'T U EVER THINK OF DEATH....even when one is near to it or inflicted by terminal diseases, we must perserve our optimism in living.
EVERYONE MUST FILL THEIR LIFE IN HOPE AND FAITH IN OUR LOVING LIVING GOD, then living is made so much easier to bear.
so take care everyone ...ur life...ur health...for YOUR BODY IS THE TEMPLE OF CHRIST WE MUST ALL TRY TO CHERISH IT....
ornitoufo and amen!......;9)
stay tuned....final story coming up soon in a window nearest to u......;9)
THE MONSTROUS PIGGY

another peaceful day for me in the ward. it was too early to be feeling complacent.
i was having my morning break in the pantry. then emergency! ah amah called me to get back to the ward on the double.
wheeled in was a big monstrous ...er...pig! it was a huge guy. he seemed to be out cold.
first thing to do was to transfer him from the trolley onto the bed. goodness! this one was a monstrous dead pig!! i alone couldn't bulge him. soon an army of all the amahs, sweepers and a couple of nurses were called to heave him onto the bed. it took like 8 persons including myself.
once he was on the bed, i was left to 'service' him. so...screened him for privacy. removed and recorded all his belongings.
1 wallet with...*eyes nearly popped* 10 pcs $1k notes , dunno how many pcs $50 and $100....all recorded and put in ziploc.
gold bracelet - 1 pc
gold necklace - 1 pc
gold jade ring - 3 pcs from both hands
montblanc pen - 2 pcs
rolex diamond studded watch - 1 pc
one gold buckle belt
well, almost all the valuables were kept in ziplocs and place with the chief nurse to take charge of it. then it was back to him for the dry cleaning.
while at the nurse station, i was told this monster suddenly fainted. no wonder! i thought how come so rich, he was pushed here to BOWYER'S (deadman) ward?
first thing first - dry cleaning time. stripped him totally naked. yes, undies also went!
after the cleaning done, an experience doctor had arrived and tend to him. it was screened with quite a number of young green housemen surrounding this 'big' doctor analysing this monster piggy's condition. i couldn't access so i went about my other chores.
when they were done with him, i was beckoned back to tend to this comatose piggy. goodness! what had they done to him!!??
all in drips, this poor piggy. drip on his hand. and another drip leading into his nostril. this was some kind of nutrient feed i was told.
this knock-out piggy vomitted. oh great!! dry cleaning time again.
he was such a big size turning him was really strenous. when i was done with him which really took me lots of sweat and time due to his monstrous size, it was also time for me to go home.
i left......
....continue.....

GRAPPLE WITH THE BLACK COBRA

After i had strenuously turned and tossed this hairy deadmeat and fully cleaned him up spick and span, he vomitted.
wtf!!
bo bian. went to get 2 pails of water and repeated.
my uniform was quite drenched from the chore. finally he was cleaned again. just as i was about to clear everything, he peed. the bastard black hairy mamak peed!!
i quickly placed the towel there to prevent it from wetting his bed. wow lau!!! niagra fall pee!! so another towel was thrown in to absorb the big flood.
and what to do?....well, what would a power poor male missy do? clean lor...what else? cleaned him all over again. hell!! his alcoholic pee stank like dunno what......;9(
his balls and rods were soaked with stinking pee. bo bian....got to grab, lift, soap and wipe. this mamak sure was enjoying his black out time sadistising this poor male missy.....;9(
hiazzz! i grabbed. l lifted. i soaped. i wiped. it lifted. it shook...it convulsed. it siffened...the bloody monstrous cobra suddenly spitted!!....it fired!!...it cummed all over my nurse's uniform.....great!! this was just great!! it was a direct hit with that full load cum shot. mati!! stinking hell!!...i m dead...i wished i was really dead then....;9(
frantically i wiped myself. guys...u know the embarrassment of cumming in ur undies, right? imagine ur uniform was perfumed by some stinking alcoholic mojo......;9(
grrr!! i was really fed up!! so i pinched him hard. since he was black mamak, i din think he knew that was a big patch of blue black on his inner thigh. and he was dead cold so he shouldn't be feeling any pain...but me was dying with embarrassment for the whole ....i smelled weird ...and er...'macho' with someone's mojo perfume......;9(
...end....
PS> THE next day, that hairy drunkard young indian wasn't around the ward anymore. most likely discharged or charged by police for publicly incapacitating himself. either fined or locked up....dun care...and dun bother....no more my jurisdiction once he was no longer in my ward...;9(

cum spitting indian cobra

the cum spitting black cobra of a drunken keleng....this one will freak everyone out!!!...how he manhandled this bloody monstrous snake and it's stinking cum!
next change....coming to the nearest window to u. WARNING: R(A) 18+ RESTRICTION....certain epics maybe disturbing to the readers.....
STAY TUNED!!....FOR DAYS OF THE MALE MISSY....hahahaha...;9)

this one is the classic of my male missy days. but tolong tolong...please please....read and dun throw ur fire bombs.....me monk wannabe....NO SEX PLEASE from either sides......;9)
for those who haven't seen a real cum spitting black monstrous cobra...well, i m going to share with u this sexciting episode...
as usual, ur goon blurking male missy was doing his rounds of dry bathing again...yes, again. everyday. every morning. numerous times per day.....;9(
suddenly, in wheeled a dead indian by the matas (police). they gave me a dunno what form to sign. i blur blur signed it. the carcass was handled over to me. shit!
so i push the trolley to a vacant bed. pushed the dead carcass into the bed. and yes. how unlucky! he wasn't dead! he was drunk in stupor!....freaking stinking drunkard young hairy fat indian!
bo bian. like i said white, yellow ,brown or stinking hairy black...i still got to service them cos to me, they were humans. after screening him, stripped him bare. everything even his.... no shit!! no undies. good. saved me some effort!

shit!!..the gross shits!!...

12pm. lunches for patients.

ah pek took his congee.
12.30pm.
male missy o' me sprang into action. with vaseline, enema bullet suppository, gauzes in my steel dish, i approached ah pek.
lts: ah pek, pang sai hor.....terng kor ( take off trouser).
i enclosed him with roller curtain screens. stripped his pants down to the ankle. turned him on his side.
lts: ah pek, toot kar chng....(poke backside)...pang yo (insert medicine which was the suppository)....relax hor...ah pek....relax....breath in...breath out...yes...good boy!...in ...out....
i put on rubber glove, applied ample vaseline to my index finger. applied some onto his butthole and standby bullet suppository. with a swift gliding insertion, the suppository was all the way in.
plonk! i retrieved my index finger. and shit! the ah pek had sang his mari kita!!.......*blush*.
i left a bedpan under his butt.....and left to clear all the things and prepared for the next sample collection procedure.
12.45pm
returned with the stupid small circular container and that monster spatula or oversize ice cream stick.
i was masked now. HELL!! the stinking fucking stench!! i still could smell it the brown gruesome mass in the bedpan with all those equally yucky wiped tissues. sheesh!
the houseman was right though....;9( ....tiny worms, bloodied stool and dunno what other sickening nonsense inside there.
what to do? started digging lor!
the monster spatula was just to big for the round sample container. with my left hand holding onto the container, i slided over it with the digusting stinking abnoxious brown mass.
hell!..hell!...HELL! the shits were all over my left hand in between in my index and thumb.
finally the sample fully done, sealed and labelled. my left hand was messy with shits on the index and thumb. yuck!!
it was freaking stinky!!. i washed, scrubbed with soap and even PRINTOL ...but the sickening stench like still stuck to it!
1pm. lunchtime.
i ordered beefballs kuay teow. it smelled good. it looked good. but when i dig in, the balls looked like the poos sample. i couldn't stand it any more. off i headed for the toilet and puked my guts out!
that's it! no more lunch or food for now...*blech...blech!*....i only drank a cup of fruit juice and that was my only lunch for the day....
that conclude my shits and balls missy tale.....'9(

THE SHITS, THE MISSY AND THE BALLS

i thought it was going to be a lay back day. finally! but no! here come another lame idiotic yayapapaya houseman......
idiot h/man: male missy, come 'ere, pls...
gingerly, i hopped over to him.
i hm: this patient very jialat.....take urine sample. plug a urine sheath and to his dick. collect and record his daily urine discharge. ....next take this little container and this monster spatula....
me gong gong holding to a circular plastic container...the one they dispensed to u in gov pharmacy for pimple cream type and one monster wooden spatula. it was like an ice cream stick for those who dunno what's that. but it's bigger and wider ice cream stick.....;9(
i hm: pay attention, male missy!....i give this bullet (anal enema suppository). i want u to insert this into this old patient here as far as ur finger can go after his lunch.....when he shits, use this spatula and dig the best part of the shits into this sample container. bring them to lab for testing....u got it, male missy?
best part of the shits?? yes, best part! means the part that contained the most nonsense like worms, blood, funny dunno what ...etc.
the way he called me...male missy head...male missy tail was like secretly insulting me like that.....;9(
what to do stupig locter or rather blur houseman's order, got to follow cos houseman or docter was still higher hierachy than male missy.....;9(

first thing first - dry bathing.

lts: ah pek, chang aid (bathing)
oldman smiled his toothless grin at me. undressed him...yes. stripped him fully naked. rubbed soapy water all over his face. rinsed. cleaned with another moist towel over his face...next his right arm, left arm. chest n abdomen.the right leg. the left leg. and that 2 parts -the dick n ball and the butthole. what the heck!! cleaned too!!
oldman was exhilirated. he smiled even brighter while i was cleaning 'there'. finally all done spick and span. powdered him with talc. under normal circumstances, my dry cleaning session was done but this ah pek was given order from the idiotic houseman to take both urine and shit sample...jialat!! ordeals began .....
lts: ah pek, i m going to put this lanjiao long(condom) over ur kukujiao(dick)...u pan jiao(urinate) ok....i collect jiao(urine) sample...good boy..... hor!
oldman smiled brightest. basket!! like he loved me to touch there!
so unrolled the condom shealth with a tube leading to a plastic calibrated bag. gently, i unrolled the condom into his limp kukujiao.
good! it fitted snuggly. half of the mission accomplished. soon it was breakfast time for the patients. ah pek ate his breakfast too.
i came to check his pulse and temperature. good! oldman was doing fine. wait! what was that!! oh shit! he removed the condom sheath from his cock. hell!! me got to fit that back again.
screened him up. stripped and rolled the sheath back onto his limpy dick. oldman gave me a horny smile. sheesh!! this was creepy!
i just walked away a few step, and he pulled the sheath out from his dick again. this bloody old man was really getting onto my nerve.
lts shouted: ah pek!! u dun be naughty hor....( show him my scissor) ...if not i snip snip it off ok....(frowning i went to screen him again and put that sheath back to his member).
so glad god gave me a quick witted mind. i cut a big plaster and pasted the sheath onto his sparse pubic hair. let see how he was going to tug it off this time...hahahaha...;9) job done this time!
......continue...

THE HAUNTING BEGAN...

After i was back from my break, a group of people had gathered at the ward. old ladies, young men, chiobus, lau sohs, teenagers and tiny tots.....so many.
they were singing the orchestra. a few really old aunties were banging the metallic cabinets. all were sad and wailing at the top of their voices...in unison like singing the opera......;9(
i went closer to peek at the dead old man. he was handsome. yes....i meant the senior nurse must had given him a last of rite. she makeup for him and ....well, he was handsome!
he looked tranquil and peacefully sleeping like that. his cheeks were pancaked rosy and a tinge of rosy lipstick lips....oh what was i thinking??...HE WAS COLD DEAD!! and i thought the silly houseman saved him and he was dozing....shit!
i went on with my chores. the opera singing was still orchestrating even louder....and my heart sank even deeper!........;9(
in the end, the dead old man was placed on a trolley with a metallic arch cover and wheeled away, presuambly to the mortuary or to a waiting hearse to send him to a coffin shop.....;9(

the same day, i returned home heavy hearted. i skipped even dinner when mamalee cooked most of my favorite dish like sweet sour pork, prawn tempura, oyster sauced kai lan and ter tor soup (piggy stomach)...shiok! but i just didn't have the appetite.
i showered. after that drank a cup of milk and hit the deck.....
"MISSY....missy....i very suffering....missy...." a voiced rang out in the middle of the night. i saw the dead old man infront of me beside my bed waving. suddenly his eyes flipped and turned white..
"ahhhhhhh........!!! help.........!!!" I yelled and awoke. my pillow was soaked with sweat. it was a terrible night mare. i couldn't sleep after that...in fact i couldn't sleep for a whole week. i couldn't sleep soundly. this terrible moaning and wailing would suddenly startled and woke me up suddenly......;9(
i went to the siamese temple which was just opposite sgh on a higher slope. i went there to pray and beg for forgiveness. i din cause the death of the old man, did i?
a kindly siamese monk beckoned me towards him. he instructed me to kneel infront of him and he blessed me by sprinkling some holy water.
whether it was spiritual or what, somehow i felt a big load was lifted from my chest. in a happier condition, i returned to the ward.
this ended my most terrifying -whether self imposed or guilt imposed or maybe real spiritual encounter of my missy days.


next the stupid dupid houseman (blur dr in training)....and his saboing of our male missy....MALE MISSY GO DIG SHIT SAMPLES!!.....

THE SHITS, THE MISSY AND THE BALLS...

next change on the window nearest to u..stay tuned...
have u tried eating balls..whatever balls beside those in between the legs...and the only thing that appear in ur mind is SHITS!!??

THE HAUNTING EYEWHITE LAUHAN

i shall start this haunting story about an old man who died in my hand....sad....up till today i still considered myself the 'cause' of his death...or am i??

THE HAUNTING EYEWHITE LAUHAN

it was another hectic morning in the bowyer's deadman ward. from the moment i stepped into the ward, i was on my toe dry cleaning all the filthy old male patients.
"MISSY!!!" screamed a caustic old bastard. "pang sai!!!...quick...PANG SAI!!" oh shit! this midget idiot's shits were about to bomb out!
zoomed! i ran to the pantry and took the cold steel bedpan and hurry back to him. it wasn't a simple job u know. i some more had to ensure his 'privacy' when he was on that business. shit! i got to screen him with those linen screen on rollers enclosing his bed to form a screened cubicle and waited for him to finish his business.
this stinky caustic idiot old man - sorry i got to curse him - was really giving me hell in the morning!. dong..dong! and he was done. 2 gorli sai ( marble shits) in the bedpan. hell!! it stank like hell!! just like his size - midget and caustic. his shits - small gorli like and stank like dunno what!....;9(
barely had i stepped out of the ward to rid those accursed 'precious', he yelled again...."MISSY...MISSY!! COME BACK....SOME MORE COMING OUT!!!"...........
it was just hell for me! after that shitting torture was finally over, in came the nauseating blur like a sotong houseman. this yayapapaya doctor in training beside sadistising nurses, male missy especially was a know nut case doctor.
and soon, my next hell was commencing......;9(

PATIENT SHOULDN'T BE MOVED MEAN HE SHOULDN'T BE EVEN TOUCHED....

houseman: male missy, c'mon here!....
me hopped to the arrogant blurking houseman's side.
pointing a bedridden old man, houseman said, " please push this patient to the X RAY room. get lung radiated and x ray pics for me ..."
i looked the sign above this old patient: PATIENT MUST NOT BE MOVED.....i turned and looked at the houseman beckoning his attention to the warning of the sign.
houseman: dun be funny ok...just put him on a trolley and wheel him to the x ray room....u doctor or i locter, huh?
what was i suppose to do? he was the locter docter....;9(
after much heaving and pushing, i finally got this old man lying on the trolley. he was staring at me with wild eyes opened. i pushed him out of the ward towards the x ray room.
not far after exiting the ward, his mouth opened wider. he gasped for air. he hyperventilated. louder and louder was his gasping. suddenly, his eyes just flipped. no more black pupils. all white!!
eeeeeeeeks!!! code red!
immediately i pushed the trolley back to the ward and yelled: EMERGENCY DOCTOR....QUICK!! CODE RED!! PATIENT IN TROUBLE...EYES FLIPPED!!
without delay with the help of an amah, i gathered all my strength and carried him back onto his bed. the docter now was a stupid idiot locter. he panic! he was a nervous freak now!
after lying the old man, he took his pulse. NO PULSE!. look into his eyes....pupils missing!!! all whites!!
he hopped onto the bed. thighs spread out on the critical old patient's chest and applied CPR. the spring bed went up and down...down and up.
shit!! panic-stricken docter forgot to lay a bed-rest for effective CPR. u couldn't do cpr on a springy bed, for heaven's sake u stupid houseman!!
by the time he realised his stupidity, it was like past the critical 5 minutes. it was too late. the old patient was dead. kaput!! out cold....GONE...! ....;9(
i was stunned. i froze and stood there. stupedified! blank!.
a sudden gentle tap on my shoulder brought me back from the deep mind freeze. motherly matron consoled me, "it's alright, sar...dun take it too hard...it's life....if he has to go...he has to go...take it easy ok...u go for a short break ok...."
boy! did i need that break!!.....

...continue.....

DUN THINK OF DEATH WHEN U R ALIVE

when one is alive, think of living..how to live honestly and happily.
DUN THINK OF DEATH....
even when one is plagued by the prospect of death like terminal sickness, one must still be happy that one still got the time to living happily.
when u r really face with death.....then u will be sorry that while u r living, u din live. now that death has knocked on the door, it's too late to live.
and death itself has nothing to fear. it's another ticket to another trip in another realm.....
if u ve grasp ur compassion within u, rest assured, u will be guided by the LIGHT to the next journey.
FEAR itself is self imposed. it creates attachment which may make departure of the soul from the shell (ur body) difficult....and that's the saddest part. one suffers cos his soul cannot leave smoothly.....and all those around him suffer along with him...
ornitoufo....;9)
emptiness is form...form is emptiness......
the old patient that flipped eyewhites and haunt the male missy for nights.....how could he got the 'ghost' exorcised.....

when death comes, just say bye bye and go....so easily said, so difficult to be done.
which is why u see people who are already dying still refuse to let go. why? his earthly attachment is just to great. he just too attached to it to allow his soul to transmigrate to the other realm.
with FO ZHAI REN XIN or BUDDHA'S WITHIN ONE'S HEART, the incumbent understands....his tranquility and understanding accede to the the path that his time is up and that he has to 'check out' of the shell or body where his soul has been inhibiting for certain number of years.
that's why we can see why some people die, it's so easy. sleep and then he's gone. again some die very very painfully torturous death. he has to go through the long suffering painful whining process before finally he heaves his last breathe.
for the second type of death, just look at the stressed up saddened faces of those who r still living - his kins, relatives or good buddies. all those who love him, suffering silently along with him....why?
cos the incumbent didn't grasp the idea of death is a release of the soul to another realm....to another journey. whether it's exciting, pleasant or scary....well, if i could get back during one of this trip, i will FR everything to everyone to know.... hahahaha .....;9)
so again, WHILE LIVING, LIVE! DUN THINK OF DEATH. this will come eventually. when it does come, let ur soul departs smoothly...
ornitoufo.....;9)

THE HAUNTING....

THE HAUNTING....

the old patient that flipped eyewhites and haunt the male missy for nights.....how could he got the 'ghost' exorcised.....
COMING TO THE NEAREST WINDOW NEXT TO U....WATCH OUT FOR THE NEXT CHANGE.....;9)

when one is alive, think of living..how to live honestly and happily.

DUN THINK OF DEATH....

even when one is plagued by the prospect of death like terminal sickness, one must still be happy that one still got the time to living happily.
when u r really face with death.....then u will be sorry that while u r living, u din live. now that death has knocked on the door, it's too late to live.
and death itself has nothing to fear. it's another ticket to another trip in another realm.....
if u ve grasp ur compassion within u, rest assured, u will be guided by the LIGHT to the next journey.
FEAR itself is self imposed. it creates attachment which may make departure of the soul from the shell (ur body) difficult....and that's the saddest part. one suffers cos his soul cannot leave smoothly.....and all those around him suffer along with him...
ornitoufo....;9)
emptiness is form...form is emptiness......
the old patient that flipped eyewhites and haunt the male missy for nights.....how could he got the 'ghost' exorcised.....
i shall start this haunting story about an old man who died in my hand....sad....up till today i still considered myself the 'cause' of his death...or am i??
coming soon to the window nearest to u....stay tuned!!

- oo0oo -

when death comes, just say bye bye and go....so easily said, so difficult to be done.
which is why u see people who are already dying still refuse to let go. why? his earthly attachment is just to great. he just too attached to it to allow his soul to transmigrate to the other realm.

with FO ZHAI REN XIN or BUDDHA'S WITHIN ONE'S HEART, the incumbent understands....his tranquility and understanding accede to the the path that his time is up and that he has to 'check out' of the shell or body where his soul has been inhibiting for certain number of years.

that's why we can see why some people die, it's so easy. sleep and then he's gone. again some die very very painfully torturous death. he has to go through the long suffering painful whining process before finally he heaves his last breathe.
for the second type of death, just look at the stressed up saddened faces of those who r still living - his kins, relatives or good buddies. all those who love him, suffering silently along with him....why?

cos the incumbent didn't grasp the idea of death is a release of the soul to another realm....to another journey. whether it's exciting, pleasant or scary....well, if i could get back during one of this trip, i will FR everything to everyone to know.... hahahaha .....;9)
so again, WHILE LIVING, LIVE! DUN THINK OF DEATH. this will come eventually. when it does come, let ur soul departs smoothly...

ornitoufo.....;9)

PAGE 2: suicidal patient

the spread eagle bond young guy had disappeared. the strings were loosen. he was gone!!
"male nurse!! go chase that red undies patient!! he escaped! he's suicidal!!" yelled frentically the matron.
without thinking 3 times 7 equal 21, i zoomed after him. he ran faster up the stair case to the rooftop. i zoomed faster after him...up the rooftop too.
there, he was panting and stuttering. me, what else? OUT OF BREATH!! panting like a dog!!
lts: bloody hell! get down from there and come back with me to the ward!!
i commanded him. he climbed up to the parapet ledge. shaking his outstretched arms wavering his hand at me, "stay back!....stay back!!...i jump i tell u!!"
shit!! this was just great. my first day.....;9(
lts: why u wanna die?...u so young....(bo bian must pretend to be sweet)....and damn handsome...why u wanna die?
the 'handsome' must have done some magic on him. i thought i saw a weak smirk.
red undie guy: i did wrong to my wifey.....i very sorry to her.....i just wanna die...boohoohoohoo......
lts: u die...... u do even bigger wrong. ur wife will be a widow, then how?....she may wanna to kill herself and dies with u!!.....pls lah...dun be like that...come down lah....think for ur wife if u love her....
he appeared to taken my words seriously. he pondered.
lts: today's my first day u know...dun sabo me leh.....if not i quit...and die with u too!!....
he alighted from the parapet. by now the police had also came up the roof top. in a flash, i rushed to him and grabbed him!.
he put up a weak struggle. the police caved in on him and handcuffed him. they led him away. i dunno what happen next but i know my uniform was condemned with his bodily pus which had stained my pristine white attire.....;9(
after the ordeal, returned to the ward. matron was pleased and all praises for me. she consoled me that those pus discharge was not infectious and allowed me half day off.
that ended my dramatic first day at the ward. i dunno what happened to the red undies patient. i couldn't understand what was wrong with him that he wanted to end his life at such young promising age.
but my job was not to understand what's wrong with their mind or lives. my job was there to serve the sick patient......and see them well. other than that, it's
GUAN WO PI SHI!!

WARD STORY: DAY OF THE SUICIDAL MAN - 1ST DAY

after 2 mths classroom relaxing study with monthly pays, it was payback them.
we were deployed to have our practicals in wards and applied what we had learned in our class rooms. my hell was about to begin......;9(

how the chiomissy wrestled with a crazy suicidal guy...yes in brilliant red undies at the rooftop....will he fall to his death?...of course not lah...or else i won't here telling the story right?

THE SUICIDAL PATIENT IN RED UNDIES

my first ward assignment: BOWYER'S WARD....or the dead man's ward.
i was very fresh for my very first hospital day. the motherly matron greeted me with glee cos me cute and handsome lah...hahahaha....;9)
after a brief show round, i was all hands on my job. first thing first, cleaned up all the lauhans or old men patients there. there was a rule here: MALE NURSES ONLY HANDLE MALE PATIENTS. no-no manhandling of female cos the occupational hazzard of being accused of molest was too great to risk....;9(
this was what we called dry cleaning bedridden patients or immobile one, i had to 'dry bath' them. it was a very tedious chore. u wipe soap on a moist towel go over the whole body of the patient. then go over it several times with moist towel wet with only lukewarm water.
after that, must powder patient some more. u may ask: how would i clean that private parts? good question. usually we asked the patient to do it themselves. if the patient is too weak, then no choice, the male missy would just have to clean that parts too...;9(
matron showed me to a guy in brilliant red undies tied nearest to the nurse's station. important note here: the patient nearest to this 'lookout' station is usually the most serious case. those furthest are the least serious. that explains the distance.
this young man was only in his red briefs and tied spread eagle. his body was covered with sores that were oozing with pus. he was restless. i wasn't sure why were he treated like that so couldn't be bothered and continue my dry cleaning one patient after the other.
suddenly........

TRAILERS FROM THE DAYS OF THE MALE MISSY.....

new story from DAYS OF THE MALE MISSY....coming soon to the next window...

TRAILERS:

how the chiomissy wrestled with a crazy suicidal guy...yes in brilliant red undies at the rooftop....will he fall to his death?...of course not lah...or else i won't here telling the story right?
the old patient that flipped eyewhites and haunt the male missy for nights.....how could he got the 'ghost' exorcised.....

next the stupid dupid houseman (blur dr in training)....and his saboing of our male missy....MALE MISSY GO DIG SHIT SAMPLES!!.....

the cum spitting black cobra of a drunken keleng....this one will freak everyone out!!!...how he manhandled this bloody monstrous snake and it's stinking cum!

the monstrous pig in coma.....another torturous ward adventure....the cold monster swine and all his gold.....(i think this swine was one dead pig in the end...poor piggy)

and many many more....stay tuned for the exciting....DAYS OF THE MALE MISSY!...coming soon in another window nearest u!!.......;9)

PART 3: PRESENTATION DAY - BREASTFEEDING

my presentation day finally came.

props that i needed:
1. milk bottle, spoon, milk powder, measuring cup.
2. diaper, safety pin, cotton buds/pads, wet/dry tissues - lots of those.
3. baby plastic bath tub, talcum powder, baby lotion
4. articifial squirt boobs u could dress it on ur chest
5. one life-liked plastic baby
let me see...yep!! that's about all. shall we begin?

here goes....

all women must marry and have babies. when they had their baby, they must breastfeed him. how?...this how.....held up lifelike plastic baby to artificial big boobs i wore on the chest.

step 1: gently press baby's head onto boob...guide mouth to swollen nipple. baby should do the rest by sucking it. er...for the ladies, it suppose to be a pleasant sensual feeling....er for me....sorry i dunno ...i dun have milk laden boobs...pai seh!.... *blush...and the whole class laughed!*

oh ya...before placing the baby there on the boob, must wipe it clean first. squeeze the boob so that a few drop of milk exudes out. clean that. demo: i squeezed the fake boobs i wore on my chest pretending there were my and demo the wiping. then gently place baby's mouth onto boob....shit!! gotta do that action too....*so embarrassing!!*... i was behaving like the real mum with one hand holding the baby, the other hand patting the fake baby's bombom.

feeding the baby is very beneficial to both the mum and the baby. why? the baby will acquire stronger antibodies from the mother, hence he would be healthier and more immuned to sickness.

on the mum's part, there would be closer rapport with her newborn. but the most important thing, it aids her vaginal.....* whole class laughed again on hearing the V word*


cheeky question fired: what do u mean AID THE VAGINAL....how could breast link to there??

more laughter.....me really getting quite pissed over this damn embarrassing topic.
lts: well, u know when the mother pushes the baby out from that hole, all her muscles there would have overstretched. look at this plastic baby's head and now look at the size of the hole...oopss!!....sorli..... * more wild laughter!!*

lts: so when baby suckle the mum's boobs, in a wayhe also sucks up her vaginal ...otherwise it may loosen and droop so much....it may just drop out..... *hahahahaha...wild hysteria now!*

lts: dun laugh leh...true what!! her vaginal muscle walls would firm up...if not it would be too loose for her husband to poke her again, u know.....;9( *siao liao....the whole class went crazy with wild loud laughter!!!*



.....and that about ended my most embarrassing presentation..........;9(

DAYS OF THE MALE MISSY (NURSE)

i was 22 yrs then. my last job was a temporary purchasing officer. my last last job was a chocolate taster...
saw this nursing ad. was curious the life of a nurse. they wanted male nurse so out of curiousity, i applied.
during the interview, i believed i touch the interviewers whom one was a motherly matron.
m m: why would u as a guy wanna be a nurse?
lts: oh....to be able to serve our fellow sick is the greatest virtue of a person....
m m stomped by my (rehearsed) response. yes lah...i already anticipated they would fire this question so before i went i already dramamama a bit on this answer. u know add a bit of 'feel' to it. i thought i saw a tear gleaming at m m's eye corner.
weeks later, the mail came. I WAS ACCEPTED into the PTS - PUPIL TRAINEE SCHEME or lovingly called also PAID TO STUDY.


PART 2: THE TRAINING

first thing first, every new nurse wannabe got to have themselve measured. no! not my anaconda!! the uniforms.
we were issued 4 set of nurse attire, 2 pair of shoes and 6 pair of white socks.
soon, i was in my male missy pristine crispy white uniform and white shoe...the original MAN IN WHITE or MIW....haahahaha....;9)
it was 3 mths classroom lessons and nothing else. just study...study..and more study and tests. best part: GET PAID AT THE END OF THE MONTH!
as a nurse, my job wasn't just restricted to ward services, we were suppose to educate the public. things like STD, AIDS, contagious diseases, how to handle life threatening emergencies...etc.
we were suppose to equip not only the knowledge but to diffuse it to the general public and teach them the basic life saving technique like cpr, bandaging etc.....
in the classroom, everyone of us got to do presentation. the nursing lecturer will lucky dip the topic for us.
and me....suay ka pa cheng (unluckiest!). my topic for presentation was BREASTFEEDING N BABY BATHING.
hell man! this was damn damn embarrassing. the bloody faggot indian male lecturer was really picking on me...after all i was the chioest in the class. my hotbod then was one to behold...dun pray pray. i was already bestow with big muscular mi mi...i mean chest!
no wonder, i was purposely picked for this lame topic. what to do prepare for the details and present lor!....what else could i do?
....continue....

MY HORNY CID DUDI with the baluku

i ve to use green cos this ardent green leprechaun was the most enthuiastic chiohunk in my free gardening class held in my ex-temple.
it was quite a while since we became good buddies and surprising our affinity was sealed by SBF when i posted LTS FREE GARDENING CLASS THREAD.
this joker only posted twice since the day he joins SBF. both were to me. his posting was so stingily short, brief and i dunno what head or tail, so i bo chap. din respond.
then he pm-ed. who the hell is this XX guy? again din respond and bo chap!
then on the fateful day, the first day of my gardening, this black mamba turned up. i din know who he was. well, maybe another plant loving forummer in my class. so again...bo chap!
it was then i had to expose to everyone in my class...THIS IS THE SILLY LEETAHSAR EVERYONE LOVES TO HATE!
it was rather unfair to me. those guys smiled, laughed but kept their nicks secret to me..their aiyah sifu. what to do? they knew me, but i didn't know them or their nics.
as more lessons followed up, most of the guys were already driven nuts by me already....i mean really COCONUTS! eventually, i coaxed out their real identity.
there the chioest of the hunks...HOTLAVA...and my cid pal.....well! that one i got to maintain confidentiality. if not he would blow my piggy blains off with his shiny magnum. yes...TOP and BOTTOM!
so beri the sorry for the continuous mystery of the black mamba cid. why black? if one spends his time more in the sunny golf course than in his aircond office cubicle, what color would be his skin?....right! BLACK!
now black mamba is a horny slithering snake.....;9)
funny why everyone i met is the itchy type? maybe as guys and gals...HORNY is our natural instinct...hahahaha....;9)
from today, let's just call my cid pal mamba! no...no... not MAMBO the hk over rated comic cop....MAMBA will do. thank you!..BLACK MAMBA...BLACK CUM SPITTING MAMBA!

PAGE 2

MAMBA as usual was shooting golf balls away at the SAFRA country club, changi.
he was supposed to join us the next day in our j b makan trip with soton in his black spidey jaguar.
man propose; heaven dispose.....i was almost being proposed, disposed but luckily i opposed to soton's indecent propose. so many 'pose'...getting confused and coconut again? thanks to me....;9)
back to our MAMBA. he was swinging gayly at his driving range, suddenly...FEWWWWWWWWWWWW.....! *perkot!!* he blacked out!! he was hit by an incoming flying golf ball. he was hit bad at his right temple.....AND HE WAS OUT COLD!! .......7,8,9, 10!........he's out!!! the winner was...none other than a mei mei. a damn sexy slender chio one ....the one who swung the club and hit a mamba out cold!!
dream on mamba....dream on...!

PAGE 3

97, 98, 99....100!!
shit! my cid pal, mamba was still out cold after a 100 counts.
kiss me...kiss me...emmm..emmm...emmm...
oh dear *censored!*. even in his knocked phase, this horny mamba was engrossed in one of his drooling wet dreams! he drooled....how could we tell? well, the grass that was watered by his drools already turned brown!! they had in fact started to decay and rot!
he smirked. he smiled. he laughed deliriously. some one was stroking him. no lah!! dun be so obscene not the bottom but his baluku head.
one baluku had already sprouted from his crew cut head. it was as big as the size of the golfball that hit him. a small hand was stroking that bump on his head.
mamba was smirking. he was like basking in orgasmic bliss. his senseless body could wriggle some more in spasm. his forked snakey tongue slithered out of his pouting mouth.
pat..pat!...tap ...tap! suddenly a tight slap and whack across his cheek! and that jerk in back into his confused sensed.
blur blur, he opened his beady shrewd eyes. blurry!! he thought he saw his snow white infront of him. he was still delusional. but yes...he was still in a horny orgasmic state. his lusty smirk still hanged on his lips.
he realised what his body language was telling everyone. he was so embarrass and instantly snapped back into his cool dude cid charisma. u couldn't tell whether he was blushing or not. he was damn dark and looked more indian than chinese!
he sat up on his butt and infront of him was a terrified little mei mei. yes ...a mei mei crying her heart out. she thought she had killed a horny black mamba!
....to be cont'd....

part 4...the concluding baluku...

so came the appointment day to go jb for makan in soton's spidey black jaguar, black mamba smsed me:

sorry, u guys go ahead. cant come. head kena baluku by mei mei...

and when i called him what mei mei?
mamba: mei mei lor....
lts: wah! u damn lucky gun leh!! play dead and let her give u the kiss of life lor...shiok man!!mamba: kiss u head! u teeko ter!
lts: huh?...u always beo mei meis...and now such a rare chance u kek kek...basket!
mamba: already told u...it was a mei mei...me not a paedophile lah!!...a mei mei...shit!! a 10 yr old little girl!! u silly toot ! @@8#"£$%**#$!
lts: ....*blur!*.....

leetahsar
Jan-14 5:30 pm
To:
KaiXin the Anti-GST Cheongster (KaiXin1)
(17 of 91)

72.17 in reply to 72.14
u and ah mah sad sob stories...really sabo me to make me think she was one of those lady of the night.
it was a real eye opener. not the whorehouse but my monky caixim....
hmmm....pal of the OKT ok...but pls try to keep that cum spitting cobra inside the pants!


leetahsar
Jan-14 5:35 pm
To:
KaiXin the Anti-GST Cheongster (KaiXin1)
(18 of 91)

72.18 in reply to 72.16
of course i dun. actually there are 'free' meals. i should intro u to the equally sweet mouthed sibeipine.
he claimed that all his cheena teetus win hand down when compare to the local mei meis!


KaiXin the Anti-GST Cheongster (KaiXin1)
Jan-14 7:53 pm
To:
leetahsar
(19 of 91)

72.19 in reply to 72.18
Ask him to be careful when playing with spider. He might get caught in the web and get sucked dry.
Kaixin1

leetahsar
Jan-14 10:01 pm
To:
KaiXin the Anti-GST Cheongster (KaiXin1)
(23 of 94)

72.23 in reply to 72.19
this warning should go to the teetujia instead. sibeipine will suck their teetujuices dry instead.
he's a 9"!

leetahsar
Jan-14 10:18 pm
To:
BlueSoton1
(24 of 94)

72.24 in reply to 72.20
dun u know i m a snake charmer and train my anaconda to be very discpline?
unlike u, got hole will poke kind. even the OKT also loves to sit on the vital location in ur groin area....;9

PART 5: CAIXIM AND SOTON GANGED UP TO SABO PIGGY!

KaiXin the Anti-GST Cheongster (KaiXin1)
Jan-14 3:50 pm
To:
leetahsar
(14 of 91)

72.14 in reply to 72.9
Hahahhahah!! Uncle LEE ... even 70 year old AH MA you also want to fuck!!
Wa lao eh .... Kaixin me dunno where to hide my face. The OKT has been my good buddy-buddy friend for 6 years already, and the 70-year old ah ma was his AUNT!!
Oh My Goodness!!! Then this horny and desperate Uncle Lee went OVER to the OKT and ask how much price $$$ is the ah man, what her service standard is like, is she good, and so on!?!?!?!?
The OKT cringed!!! Wa Lao Eh, he was damn embarrassed himself, and he quickly revealed that the ah ma was his AUNTIE, and assured everyone concerned that she is NOT A PROSTITUTE!
The PIGGY GOON was red-face and he slunked back into the chair next to Blue Soton whose hand was still wet from all the cum stains from jerking off to the beautiful ladies walking in and out of the brothel. Sotong was a true gentleman .... he told Uncle Lee, eh, you make Kaixin damn embarrassed you know ... Kaixin dunno where to hide his face already. Of course Uncle Lee QUICKLY SIAM that area because he was afraid Soton would wipe his cum stain on Uncle Lee!!!
I gave the BIG-BOOBIE Dada a FLYING KISS and she sauntered back to her resting area behind the customer counter to day-dream about bonking me. But I was not going to bonk her. Hmmmm ... my mind was STILL FILLED WITH IMAGES OF LA MEI......... and dada was wondering why Kaixin was so horny but still refuse to call her. She never guessed that I had a another HOT GAL on my mind ....

KaiXin the Anti-GST Cheongster (KaiXin1)
Jan-14 3:58 pm
To:
LaMei
(15 of 91)

72.15 in reply to 72.12
Hahahhahahahah. Ms Obasan Lamei .... of course you not forgotten. After we left the restaurant and were heading back to Soton's car, bus number 33 suddenly arrived and the Piggy Goon dashed aboard, and waved us goodbye. I was surprised ... wa lao that was fast. Was Piggy Goon going back home to jerk off to his fantasy of the 70-year old OKT's Auntie?!?!
Soton and I headed back to his car and he dropped me off at the OKT's house again. I was still bloody horny with the LA MEI IMAGES floating in my mind. So after Soton left I found myself right back at my old 2nd home, the OKT's house ... my humble abode for the past 6 years.
The OKT erupted into gales of laughter when he saw me!! He said you friend ah .... damn goondo one!!! Wa lao eh, AUNTIE also he dare to point at her and ask if she is a WORKING LADY!!!! That time, all my horniess disappeared because I was so damn MALU and embarrassed. I quickly apologized yet again to the OKT and told him ... eh Tommy sorry lah.... my friend the piggy goon he is not familiar with Geylang ... he is monk wannabe ... dunno who is who over here .... he say the auntie ... thought she can be had for $5 or $10 .... WITHIN HIS PRICE RANGE ... that's why he asked.
The OKT nodded in understanding, and said ... dun worry Kaixin ... I am not angry ... just amused ....! Hahahhahahahahah! WA LAO EH .....
Kaixin1

KaiXin the Anti-GST Cheongster (KaiXin1)
Jan-14 4:12 pm
To:
leetahsar
(16 of 91)

72.16 in reply to 72.9
Ah yah, Uncle Lee. Those 70-80 year old AH MA and those beautiful sweet young AH KUAs are found at DESKER ROAD, not at Geylang!
And yes, they are very poor thing you know! Imagine a 70-year old auntie sitting idly in that small brothel house waiting for customers! At her age!!! I mean, where are a children? Can't she go to an old folk's home and be taken care of by nurses? What the fxxk is a woman of her age doing in such a sordid sleazy brothel???
Can you imagine who her customers might be? Bangala workers who can only afford $5 handjob or $10 fuck job? Old men shuffle their feet and have difficulty ejaculating? or even piggy goon like Leetahsar????
That's why I felt sorry for the whole bunch of them.
Even the ah kua ... many of them are pre-op .... saving money to go for their operation by working in Desker (a few of them also work in Geylang, but they are not as pretty). Usually the price they can command is $30-$40, similar to Changi area.
So please Uncle Lee don't go geylang again to find 70 year old AUNTIE again okay? If you really horny and cannot tahan anymore ask your nephew Kaixin to take you to Desker ... there you can RELEASE!!!!
Kaixin1

PART 4 - PAN SHI TONG or teetucave

soton being the fat squid there, placed the order. we supped a song yu or chinese carp's head in sweet black sauce. then came their speciality HOKIEN MEE with salted fish and loads of lard fritters. next was har cheong kai or salted bean paste deep fried chicken. the last of sabo tofu or claypot bean curd and hai xian chuen or fried seafood roll using yam paste, minced seafood assortment as the fillings.
half way true our supping, soton's hp rang. his wifey called. sotong: ya...yes...ya...yes lah!! u take out all the seafood and thaw.... me will be back to cook dinner very soon......
dinner?..what were we having now? caixim and i looked at each other with loads of question marks.
sotong: oh...sorry....mustn't let the wifey knows i m eating MY dinner with u now ....or else she will extend my ears! ...among other vital organs too....haahaahaa...
or should it be better dun let my wifey knows i just jerked off OKT the boss of the whorehouse?
he blushed.
once dinner finished, it was EAT AND RUN time for this piggy. caixim asked to be returned to his DADA at lor 16. soton got to rush home or else...his organ will be extended!
so we went separate ways. in the bus i was wondering....I THOUGHT THE NUTRITIOUS CAIXIM is in celibacy i.e. NO SEX PLEASE...he's a wannabe monk too!! he is so so monky like the xiao ni sa or little monk. why did he succumb to DADA spider webs of lust?
and sotong .....poor soton maybe had already cum on okt...and another round awaiting him back home. soton's FR ??
now i leave the followup of caixim and DADA in their rendevous in bed in a tight cubicle of a little whore chicken house in geylang lor 16......
...the end of this very nearly brokeback piggy's tale....hahahaha....;9)

PART 3 the teetucave

as if that wasn't enough, soton the schemer of poor piggy o' me join in the field day report....

BlueSoton1
Jan-14 12:18 pm
To:
KaiXin the Anti-GST Cheongster (KaiXin1)
(7 of 91)

PART 2 of Autopcy Report
with uncle piggy fat, over weight body, he dashed to the OKT with an amazing 100m world record speed, shit, he used to say he cant run, due to his leg cartilage pain, but when situation called for it, he surprise us with miracle.
he eagerly asked the OKT the price range, types of services, the origins of the products, n my GOD, he even asked how much is the 70+ ah mah, n the room rate for staying for ONE MONTH !!!!!!!
the super friendly OKT was a bit annoyed, if the hot tempered cid man were to be the OKT, he will kick his ass forcefully, make sure one kick, n uncle is out of this house of nature.....
akan dadang................

so i bo bian...must clarify my innocence....i m still innocent and 24k mint condition what...


leetahsar
Jan-14 12:22 pm
To:
BlueSoton1
(8 of 91)

72.8 in reply to 72.7
oh....so that's why u kept asking me about how to spell C A R T I L A G E...u bloody silly toot soton!!
and yes...it's AUTOPSY ....with an S not C! c is for C LAN KUI!

AND HERE'S PART 3


leetahsar
Jan-14 12:28 pm
To:
BlueSoton1
(9 of 91)

72.9 in reply to 72.7
[he even asked how much is the 70+ ah mah, n the room rate for staying for ONE MONTH !!!!!!!}
ok...ok. this one i must explain and tell the whole story from the start in the car.
kaixim suddenly got compassionate and told me that ah mah and ah ermm and lau aunties are also trying to make an indecent living there.
their rates are super duper cheap and cater to the bangalas, indians and other ftS. there bunch of FTs like the old ladies cos after removing their dentures, bj to them was the only way to send them back home in their heavenly bliss....;9(
and u know all these FTs work very very hard digging and other heavy duty stuffs. they are dicks too and need some form of release. their whole bodies soring with aches and 'hongs' or winds so they need to rid them.
all these laukuaybus or old gingers or lau ah mahs could rid it for them with their antique dried up abalones they possess.
i m so bad to describe them this way....sorry...;9(...but really where are the badly needed welfare from our glabrmen for these bunch of sad old dames?
there another lie from the emperor of clown, pinkie!....sad....;9(

when they threw me into one of the cubicle. i slowly regained my consciousness. an old lady was caressing me...not down there but up here on my head with a moist towel.
she gave me some chinese herbal tea and RINGGGGGGGG!!!.....everything back to normal and i sat up to thank her for saving my modesty....hahahaha....;9)
i heard laughter outside the main hall. went out after smiling and thanking the motherly lady to rejoin with caisim and horny sotong.
there sitting on soton's lap was none other OKT or orh (his surname) kui tao, his name and owner of this chickenhouse.
on caixim's lap was a transexual DADA who had honeydew bosom about the size of my dearie's! oh course, i knew that was fake and siliconed.
caixim buried his monky head into the big artificial boobs. i thought he might be suffocated within! sotong was having a smirking good time while jerking the okt on his vital lap area.
they abruptly stopped when they saw piggy appeared...
well.. me had gone round the world so many times. what i haven't seen? so i wasn't in as much astonished than them. i asked okt: IS THAT KINDLY MAMASAN WHO ATTENDED TO FAINTED ME one of his girls?
okt: dun anyhow say leh!! (quite offended but still a bit amused)
then the motherly obasan came out to serve me more tea. oh my god!!! okt resembled her...and vice versa....*blush!!* i was so embarrassed and felt damn stupig! and apologised profusely to both of them.
caixim and soton laughed so hard that DADA was thrown off onto the floor and soton jerked the okt even higher in spasms with his laughter! so much so, the okt got to excuse himself to the toilet to clean up. he just wetted his pants from soton's laughing horny thrustings!
i think the incessant laughters of these 2 horny guys burnt out more calories than what they were doing just now. caixim said he laughed so much, he was feeling hungry. soton too said he was hungry after all the groin thrusting at okt's butt.
i suggested why dun we head for old airport rd for dinner. it was getting late anyway. all agreed. off we went. instead to old airport hc, sotong drove us to...OH NO!!! another chickens territory...JOO CHIAT RD where FT chickens were abundant...the vietnamese mei meis...
as we walked along this uncharted path, we got so many electrifying winks shoot baks at us...we began to sing a choir of marikita, our beloved national anthem flag raising ceremony together in our pants!!
hiazz!! here we go again...the bulges in all our pants....;9(

PART 2 - TeeTuCave at geylang lor 16

INTERLUDE:

caixim is now cheong his DADA in room 69. he will proceed the details after cumming to his normal flag lowering ceremony.
stay tuned.
me got to expel all the teetu c all over me and purge all the static that had accumulated in my ter bak and ter yue.....;9)
WARNING: ANAL TIGHT RETENTIVE LOSERS ARE ADVISED FROM CONTINUING FROM THIS POINT. RA(18)

and speaking of the devil, here our carebear caixim zooms in:


KaiXin the Anti-GST Cheongster (KaiXin1)
Jan-13 9:58 pm
To:
leetahsar


Wait a minute, Uncle Lee.
My nose did not just bleed at Mei Ling HC when I met Lamei.
I was drooling until a puddle of water had formed on the ground next to me!!!
The monk wannabe had just very graciously offered to buy me some bak chor mee pok, with chilli, without vingear. Yes, that was going to be my sumptuous breakfast! And I was sipping my piping hot steaming delicious cup of coffee. Just then, Lamei ARRIVED!!! Oh MY God!!!!
Lamei is a slender, sexy lass, and she was clad in white T-shirt and a very cute and sexy pair of blue shorts. She looked so SWEET and charming! My goodness, I thought she was just 23 to 25 years old!!! It was only after we had been properly introduced that I realized she was much older than that! WA LAO EH!!!
I secretly scanned her from head to toe, with my nose turning red and a pool of water forming beside me. She is a very pretty lass, and I would NEVER have guessed her true age. Heck, she could have easily passed off as one of my students and I wouldn't have known the difference!
Uncle Lee noticed that I very discreetly BIO-ING Lamei and tried to snap me out of it. hahahhahahhahahah! Okay lar ... we resumed our normal conversation. I was desperately trying to conceal the huge puddle of DROOL that had formed, and luckily, no one noticed!!
Well, breakfast was fantastic. I realized that Mei Ling HC serves not just cheap food, but very delicious cuisine! MMMMMMM...... it was delightful! Blue Soton and Lamei had laksa, while I had my chilli hot (but vinegar-less) bowl of bak chor mee pok (PAPAYA LEE HSIEN LOONG .... I EAT BAK CHOR MEE POK ALSO NO HUM, HOR!!!! DUN PRAY PRAY !!!!!).
This was the first time I met Blue Soton, and I was glad I managed to meet him too. Later, he and I dragged Uncle Lee to GEYLANG LORONG 16, to tempt him to screw chicks!!!! It was during that time that LTS revealed his FULL GAYHOOD to us!! hahahhahahah!!
Stay tuned for the next instalment ... Uncle LTS reveals his fascination for BANGALAS, his lust for TESTICLES ... and finally ... HIS SECRET FETISH FOR 70 YEAR OLD LADIES!!!!
Kaixin1

drugged, dragged and thrown into TeeTuCave

today the worst of the worst happened (almost) onto me.....;9(

after la me in her hot shorts pants left after our meetup, sotong drugged me ! and with the cheongster, they dragged me by the balls and threw the limp me into the teetu cave in geylang lor 16....
i was almost done...this tang san chan....*boo...hoo..hoo* was nearly....was almost....was so close....*boo hoo...hoo...!*
ur nutritious caixim and soton was having a field day watching me....*boo...hoo..hoo..hoo..*....
er ...caixim u wanna follow up in a new nasty thread of what u and sotong and ur gang of teetujia and teetulaukuaybu and teetukong...and worst a teetulauahmah did to this 24K mint piggy??....*weep...weep...sniff...sniff!*
stay tuned for the day piggy was ALMOST eaten alive by teetus in PAN SHI TONG!

la mei called for triad meeting today. so as obeissance to her grossly tattooed husb, the piggy had to oblige my ah mei.
i tot...GOODIE! ME GOING TO BE ALONE WITH AH MEI...but NO! when about to leave for the appointment, caixim smsed me: I M AT UR Q'TOWN MRT. PLS COME GET ME TO THE VENUE OF MEETING.
now what the hell is he doing there....and so punctual? he's invited too? question marks started floating in my fat piggy head. so bo bian, i ran all the way to fetch caixim to the meetup. won't wanna be late so that dun offend the dai soh obasan.
we reached mei ling hc after a brief brisk walk from the mrt station. when our hainanese kopi came, so did la mei.
wowsay!! really itsy bitsy hotpants with revealing straps from her pink G-strings on her slender hips. she must be wearing her baby daughter's t-shirt which said 1 HOT MAMA!.
oh yes! she was! and exposed a dot - her tattooed navel pierced with a small ringing bell when she walked towards us. she must be drooling when she saw the cute huggy carebear caisim sitting next to me.
wiping away the droops at her lip corners with a tissue, she extended her arm to shake caisim. hoping that she would be shaking lower, caixim nosebled and was wiping frantically his redden nostril.....;9)
as for this blur disappointed piggy...oh well! tot it would be a one to one meetup. seem like it was going to be another afternoon threesome sexsion! and soon the sipped teh c in my mouth also drooled out of the corner of my dejected crooked lips....;9(
after all the shaking and hugging, we settled down. i tot that was it. we were going to jiak hong with la mei in her 2-seaters SLK200 and caixim sitting on my lap and suddenly in came sotong.
of all people...SOTON!! why??!!...oh well again! if couldn't threesome than foursome also not bad.
the moment soton sat down, he asked "where's mr chiohunk VINCE??...i keep wet dreaming about him...where's he??"
caixim and me were shocked wide eyed looking blur at each other and asked, WHAT CHIOHUNK VINCE??
la mei blushed. "her wifey's back. he's on call and on heavy or rather heaving duty now...so it was a last minute unexpected twist..." she explained apologetically.
oh well!....la mei's target, caixim was here. soton's wasn't. as for the blur piggy who was scratching his piggyhead: WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE THEN??
the electrifying sequence commenced the moment la mei set eyes on her nutritious caixim. he on the other hand was a fullblooded cheongster now and the bulge there was having the flag raising ceremony. no wonder he was in baggy pants today.....;9(
poor dejected soton. his chioVINCE wasn't here. so disheartened! so bo herh, hay ya ho. translated means: no fish, then eat the prawn lor. and since also no prawn, then eat the nutritious caixim!. he started to shoot bak at caixim too.
la mei shot higher volts. sotong increased his voltage too. this piggy who was slurping away at his lor mee was nearly fried in between all the crossfire of high seductive voltages....hahahaha....;9)
SHE BAM..SHE BAM....rang la mei's RICKY MARTIN'S SHE BANGS telephonic ringing tone.
bzzzz...zz! her electricity suddenly waned off. she got up. "sorry guys, got to go....da ge calls. EMERGENCY...bia chui time(gang fight on) !!"
before anyone of us could said another word, ZOOOMMMMMM...her mercz already burnt the road with the tyre tracks. in a puff of exhaust smoke, she was gone.
now what??....yes ...now what??....now boo..hoo..hoo...both sotong and caixim turned their horniness on me...this poor blur mee slurping piggy still unaware what was about to happen to him.
i sipped the teh c...and bingo...knocked off liao!...
knocked off means i dunno what happened next. when i blur blur opened my eyes...i was like in a cave full of spider webs..i saw the road that soton's car turned into...GEYLANG LOR 16.....
caixim will now follow in details...(take it with a pinch of salt)....me still saved my 24K mint condition..nearly...hahahaha....;9)

AGE IS A RELATIVITY...IT'S YOUR MIND THAT'S MATTER MOST

age is relativity...

one could be old but always young at heart...er...like this cute piggy goon here....;9)

or one could be old but even older in the heart. before they are dead, they thought they are almost dead! or maybe might be dead the next day.....;9(

finally, one could be young but waste their youth away...so to live is like never lived before.....;9(

the saddest of the 3 must be the last...WASTED THEIR YOUTH AWAY!....;9(

ornitoufo...let them be awaken by my humble reminder.....;9)

comment from the alien himself....

From:
jacys
Dec-20 12:55 am
To:
leetahsar
(9 of 10)

9.9 in reply to 9.7
WOW................
I never know I was that good in bed.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

the evidence of jacys, the alien from pluto

here's the evidence of the arrival and juiced jacys'...THE RED THONGS HE LEFT BEHIND.....hahahaha....;9)

PART 4 - FINALE OF JUICY JACYS

time's up! no details from the alien means JUICING JACYS begins now.....;9)
wo dei kong toh (we talked until), jacys was led by dearie into her hotel room.
when the door was closed behind them, dearie was really feeling hot and bitchy now. the effect of the whiskey was taking it's horny toll on her.
she grabbed jacys. she grabbed him there...squeezing and juicing away. our alien from pluton's antenna shot out and up...it wasn't from the head. it was from the groin!
the bulge was exploding there. it was getting hard. it has to be unzipped. if not it might fractured...poor alien!
dearie knew what to do next. she squatted and unzipped his pants. when she kneeled to do that, her pinkily flushed boobs cleavage were even more amazing in bird-eye's view.
jacys wasn't as primitive as he looked. his opened palm swinged into action, cupping those monstrous pinks. squeezing and juicing as it went....like he was milking a cow.....hahahaha...;9)....sorry, how would u expect me to describe the mammary glands?......;9)
dearie: yips!!...oh my god!!.....thongs...red brilliant thongs...oh jacys....i m really high now!.....( she let off an operatic soprano)
a big wide smile flashed across our alien's face. with a gentle tug, off went dearie's tight tees. another tug at her tight skirt, off it dropped to the floor.
jacys: yippy hi ho!!....g-strings....great!!! brilliant lime green...my favorite color!! (he also let off an operatic soprano!)
their lips locked. the tongues were having a tug of war insides those wet moist mouths. jacys lifted dearie. dearie crossed her fair long legs over his stout firm 6packers abs. she hold him tighter. he embraced her tiny waist closer. (if i m not wrong, jacys should have 2 big blue blacks on his chest from the two powderful big boobs...;9)
they were doing a walking kamasutra. jerkily, jacys staggered towards the welcoming bed with dearie hobbling up and down. oh great!! antenna made contact with pussy...they were united...
gently and softly, he laid her down at the edge of the bed. the ramping and bonking began. the moans...the groans...the whizzing and gasping of breathes.....the locking of the lips..smooching away.....
then it was a different position. the wheelbarrow...her legs were held high up on his chest...fully inverted. he sucked her toes. his fingers were also busy fiddling her. she moans even bitchier...louder...and louder...they went.
the whole of sinkieland would have heard the animalistic gruntings hadn't it been saved by the rumbling of the thundery sky...and flashes of lightnings streaked across the dark morning sky...
they shagged and they shagged....just like dearie described in one of her thread. they shagged from midnight till dawn.....
at the break of the first daylight, jacys had vaporised. gone with his spaceship. no where was he in sight. all that remained was...oh well...his brilliant red thongs. a gesture of remembrance of love to dearie with his full BO still attached.
dearie was still in perfect bliss after the multi biggies she had. a big satisfied smirk ran across her face. she was giggling. her pinky flush had since subsided. she giggled more..in her sweet romantic dream.

....end of juicy jacys....PART 2: the return of baby jacys - the seed???...yes, yes??
rating please...thank you......;9)

PAGE 3

jacys was a suave tall guy. when he started to speak...u heard only music. well, at least it was music to dearie's ear. i thought i saw a drool from her lips or was it her whiskey coke?
he peeleepehleh...with an accent...hell! i tot i was hearing an americano talking or what...;9(. then kaixin also peeleepehleh...and i tot i heard an engrishman. for me, i only simi huh?...wow lau eh...wo hian bo...simi meh...etc...very hokky singlish....;9)
back at the hotel lounge, dearie was a bit embarrassed as she bought her whiskey coke from the 711 store. this very bullet proof thick skinned piggy told her just now we had drunk here so it should be ok. there wasn't a soul in sight saved for our alien jacy and us.
i just went in sat on the comfy crouch and the rest followed suit. oh well, dearie thought, might as well ordered her favoured whiskey coke. jacys had a orangey cointreau. kaixin was still a bit tipsy from the previous dose so he followed me...and our orders: TAP ON ICE....free of charge...hahahaha....;9)
jacys started his pre-statesman talk..opps were these and that...paps was that and these...SO BORING!
kaixin is droopy. me was drowsy. dearie was orgasmic with jacy's voice. it was music to her ears. i wondered she knew whether who the hell was chee soon juan. who was chiam or low or whoever jokers, jacys blurted out...
finally, feeling the drowsiness was overpowering, i burst out singing...
I LEFT MY HEART.....IN SAN FRANCISCO....
UP ON THE HILL....IT CALLS TO ME.....to be where (pause) ..little cable cars....climb half way to the stars.....
the morning fog...may chill the air...I DUN CARE!!....
that shocked kaixin back to life. dearie burst out laughing...and jacys shuddup!...hahahaha....;9)
before i could allow him turn the night into a political upheaval, i started my undies stories. kaixin laughed. he simply loved it. dearie was delirious...and jacys, well, my undies got the better with him instead of sylvia lim...hahahaha....;9)
we had such fun conversation. guess who also loved to peep when u squat to poo? guess who was wearing a red thongs that night?....guess who wasn't wearing anything?
oops! it's almost 11.30pm. i suggested we split. if not, we would miss the last bus. off we left the hotel. dearie walked with us to the bus stop. then she exclaimed that she wanted to go geylang and looked at the mei meis teetujias there and maybe some transvestites.
jacys started his vivid descriptions of all these teetus. that got her even more stimulated. it so happened my bus came. i was a bit worn out. i bit the guys goodnite and hopped into the bus.
the 3 jokers hailed a cab and off they went to geylang for the guided tour by jacys.
.....and i believe most of u who follow up till here have read kaixin's GEYLANG FR. should have been there with them. it would be even funnier with me around.....;9)
anyway, after the geylang exhilarating trip, the bunch sent dearie back to her hotel. she just couldn't bear to leave jacys, our alien from pluto. i think jacys also fallen in love with her and couldn't bear to part. so kaixin just kicked him out of the cab to accompany dearie back lovingly to her hotel room...and...and...and...
wow....the foggy steamy night began.....

to be cont'd - THE FINALE of the ozzie terror vs the alien from pluto....JUICING THE JACYS....;9)

PAGE 2

she ...she...she turned into......
she turned into vampire?...nope! a she wolf ( the moon was full that night)?....that one maybe and nearly she turned into one...howl...howl!...woof, woof!!...hahahaha...;9)
NO!...MY DEARIE TURNED PINK!!! BLUSHING BRIGHT PINK!!
from her head down all the way to her boobs...SHE WAS PINKY!! ( but luckily she din became pinky the clown, or i would surely ve it then!)
dearie: bob....i m feeling hot....umm..um..I M HOT, BOB!!! do something....i need my whiskey!
lts, indifferent: oh, go get one urself....there the drink stall just opp.....( couldn't be bothered cos i m also feeling something...HUNGRY! and dun ever interrupt a hungry piggy when he was eating....;9)
she looked pitifully at kx who was also slurpping away the food. he was also feeling something...yes...HUNGRY, TOO!
oh shit!! dearie, u and ur drink!....i stood up abruptly and headed for the drink stall beckoning kx to stay put and enjoy his meal.
at the drink stall, this bloody hiao in flowery shirt lau han koo was mopping the table. i stood there: ONE BEER PLEASE....
he treated me as invisible. din respond. can u believe that? he just went about doing his stuffs. then he went into his little storeroom. i stood there like an idiot. waiting.
he came back after about 5 minutes. i asked again: ONE BEER PLEASE! this time louder thinking he might be deaf or what.
the bloody lau hiao hanku looked at me, gave me a disdain glare and said: SORRY CLOSED SHOP LIAO...get lost!
basket! the attitude of the local....damn fucked up!!...;9(
i returned to my table, gave the same disdain glare i got just now to my dearie and continued my makan. she was intimidated. she shuddup and watched us finished our meals.
after that, we exit this fucked up place and crossed over where there was a 711 24-hr store.
there i told dearie to go in and get whatever drink she desired. as she was coming out....a spacesphip landed....hahahaha....;9)
along came, s/he/it - JACYS, the alien from pluto!
jacys: hi guys!....u must be the most bo liao notorious leetahsar....?
lts: huh?...u know me meh??? and who are u... chiohunk alien from pluto???
dearie: bob, this is s/he/it, JACYS...dun u know him??
hmmp! as though i care! anyway, kaixin was friendly and handshook him. what to do, shook him, too....
jacys: so u r cantbeassed...the terror from ozzieland?
we laughed and chatted along the street. it was kind of weird talking and laughing on a busy street. i suggested we returned to the lounge and so we proceed back.

...to be cont'd....

JUICING JACYS, the s/he/it from pluto

one fine sunday, i just came back from a hearty sweat out in california gym, my handphone beeped.
"WANNA MEET UP?" went the message. scrolled down...and oh my god!! i had forgotten. dearie was in town. i hurriedly changed and zoomed off to meet her at GRAND PARK ROYAL PLAZA.
how blur could i get? i thought that was in orchard rd so i smsed dearie whether it was next to LIDO. no reply. presumed it was and headed in that direction taking bus.
reaching there, it was ROYAL PLAZA HOTEL or something like that and hell! it was under renovation. NOT OPENED UNTIL NEXT YEAR.
goodness me!! i gooned again! called dearie, she too was blur and din know how to describe her location. someone else took over her handphone. kaixin was on the line. he directed me concisely and off i went - in bus again to RPH which was located just next to FUNAN THE IT MALL....what a blur goon i was!
was in the bus now. the hp beeped again: "bob, u gotta to hurry...kaixin is so quiet. i m very boring...."
hmmm...kaixin the cheongster quiet?? boring?? din sound like him. he was a CHEONGSTER and cheongster was suppose to be gifted with glib of the tongue. if not, how to cheong??
finally, i reached the hotel. zoomed into the lounge where they were idling away, each with a whiskey and coke.....the bar was bare except for the 'assets' and the 'cheongster'....hahahaha....'9)....and...and....and....

simmer down, guys and girls!!
...and...and..and...
AND NOTHING HAPPENED!....hahaaa...got'cha!
why? u r thinking dearie cantbeassed would be passionately smooching our resident cheongster....frenchieing and steaming up the bar?....no! nothing of that happen.
they were very decent good girl and boy sitting very discipline on the high stool sipping their whiskey coke....yes, what a let down!
lts: dearie!! u r back!!....this must be cai sim?
kaixin: yes kai xin...not ur regular veggie cai sim....hahaha...
dearie: hi ya, bob! u r looking good!....
just could help taking my eyes off to immense assets. and kaixin, my goodnes...he looked like an authentic monk to me!.....not a monk wannabe, an abbot maybe!....haahahaa...
he radiated with glow that any mum would love him to be her dutiful son-in-law....so any mum out there picking a prospective son in law?...u got one super qualified one here...hahahaha....cai sim kaixin....hahahaha....;9)
after the intro, i sat down. the chiobu bartender asked me what would i ve. of course my usual, H20 on rocks....made that the tap H20 ...sorry no PERRIER...no mineral...just TAP will do, thank you.
the disappointed girl was just too glad to serve me after i electrocuted her with my power gaze.....;9)
after a sip of my TAP, i started the conversation rolling. i could sense dearie was getting a bit sleepy and kaixin was restless.
lts: how dearie, what brings u back so soon?
dearie: huh, bob....u forgotten....i m here for my shopping spree..
lts: wow, rich girl!!...and what about u kaixin, what's up with u?
kx: no lah...me only lecturing.....to tell u the truth...but pls keep it a secret, can?....(sorry, i posted this FR so no more secret liao).....me an associate professor, bluffing away in NANTAH U....but again like all NANTAH professors, we are always conned by cheena mei meis....*sigh!*....me included....*sigh again!*
lts:...u mean all NANTAH bigshots not only big up there...very big itchy down there too???
kx blushed. dearie burst out laughing, her mouthful of whiskey coke almost splashed out!
awkard silence followed. i stared at dearie's right er..u know what...kx stared at her left u know what too. cos when she laughed heartily, her u know whats vibrated tremendously...hahahaha...;9)
aiyah!...shit!! this is an adult story...i better make it straight: U KNOW WHATS were her big assets boobs!
dearie wasn't restrained too...dun ever think she is! if she could make her eyes go in different direction, her left would be staring at my stuff down there. her right would be at kx's bigger stuff down his....;9)
but knowing she couldn't she looked to the left, then to her right...we knew what was she looking at *blush, blush*....hahahaha....;9)... the horny girl from oz!
after she down her dunno how many drinks, i called for dinner. me hungry after a hard work out and so was kx. as for dearie, whiskey coke was her main course. she must have been a thirsty fish in her past life....;9(
we proceeded to a nearby basement food court at peninsula plaza, ordered our food and settled to eat.
something weird started to happen....i observed a drastic change in dearie...OH MY GOD!!....WHAT'S HAPPENING TO HER???....she ...she...she turned into......

to be cont'd.....

I WAS NAKED IN THE GYM!

http://forums.delphiforums.com/leetahsar/messages


I WAS NAKED IN THE GYM!

raining and raining this month. such a depressive period. monsoon season now on so remember ur umbrella when u go out.
since i could hardly go to swim in queenstown pool, the other alternative to rid my piggy lard or ter yu was to go to my california fitness gym.
yesterday i was there again. wow! mediacorpse guo, liang pan ling2 and shaun chen (the idiot who acted xiao xin in holland v) was there filming.
guo liang was very friendly. i exclaimed, "hey, guo liang??" he smiled as exclaimed courtesouly, "ni hao." pan ling2 also smiled. but shaun was with a bf. this chap really got small little beady eyes.
anyway bo chap n proceed to work out in gym.
after sweating it out, headed for the changing room to shower. after a refreshing massaging shower (got massage shower head), returned to my locker wrapped only by towel.
troubles brewing.......;9(


I LOST MY KEYS to my lock of my locked locker!!!
how???
panic crept onto me!....i was naked saved only by the towel around my fat piggy waist!
just when i needed james, the indian juga who used to oversee the changing room, he wasn't around. having no choice, i stormed out of the changing room to the main area....down to the reception...and what else...announce my predicament to the staffs there.
it was an embarrasing moment cos i wasn't with power abs yet...i was with a combination of all the abs...a big ball of TER YUE for my tummy....;9( wrapped in towel.
the staff, the arabian sweet girl who very awk ka liao with me brought me to the towel room. the uncle in charged wasn't around...hell!!..he had gone for dinner. what to do now?
she advised me to return to the changing room and wait for me. once he was backed from his meal, he would come to my aid.
bo bian! returned to the changing room feeling very very pissed!
feeling bored, i went to steam it out at the suana room....

WARNING: NEVER...I REPEAT...NEVER DOZE OFF IN SUANA ROOM!!

That was precisely what happened to me...when the uncle came to wake me up from the suana room...shit!! i was exposed!...my towel was on the moist floor....*blush*
good thing, i wasn't singing the mari kita national anthem then....;9(
quickly i wrapped myself up...i got no time to think of whether i was deviously being molested or what when i dozed off. off i exit with the uncle. he was carrying a threatening monstrous clipper. an cutter that could break the lock or my anaconda too...hahahaha...;9)
SCARY AND THREATENING cutter that was!
before he went into action, he pulled out a bunch of keys from his pocket. wriggling infront of me....hallelujah!!! THOSE WERE MY LOST KEYS to my lock.
i was so happy and thanked him profusely short of smacking him...hahahaha....;9)
finally got the lock opened without breaking it. changed and quickly buzzed off.
in the bus, i was wondering....when i dozed off, what could have happened?....why was my tightly wrapped towel on the floor?...oh my god!!! did someone - u know - play with my ding dongs??...blush..blush...and blush...i shudder to think of what could have happened.
haizz!! can't be bothered lah...it's just a piece of meat ..a piece of muscle....and a piece of unreveled embarrassment!...*blush*

lure of the green undies, oh my god!

lure of the green undies, oh my god!


yesterday, something funny happened in this forum...I WAS BANNED ...dunno why. no one told me the reason too.

it was very sunny so off i went to queenstown pool for a dip since could no longer access to post.

things could never get weirder yesterday.

inside the gents changing room, there was a silly indian - look like a FT professional. i was feeling good so i whistled as i changed into my st michael's swim trunk.

i whistled. he whistled too. i whistled louder. he followed suit. then he smiled at me. goodness! the toilet seem brighter with his set of gleaming pearly teeth!.

i smiled back as a friendly courteous gesture. after pulling up my trunk and tightened it, off i went to the pool.......

.....to be cont'd......




PART 2


about an hour later, i reckon i must have burnt off enough ter yue (piggy lard), i emerged from the pool...proceed to the changing room.

it was terribly quiet. the whole changing room was bare except for a flashing green light enamating from one of the hangers. oh goodness!....A FLOURESCENT LIME GREEN UNDIES!!!

it was hanging there....waving franctically at me to go nearer and investigate. that was precisely what i did..

wow! not bad...not bad at all. BUMS brand undies. the high end expensive one. i bought a set of 3 too for like $19, meaning each was about $6+. this undies was of special material called microfibre or the same type used to make swimtrunks.

ho say!! looked quite brand new...so i checked it out. and to my disappointment, M size. me was XL. how could i wear that? my disciplined anaconda sure would be suffocated in it......;9(

so no choice, i left it there alone......i was definitely sure that green undies was crying its heart out too.....off i went into the showering cubicle.

as i was showering away, another guy came in. the whole changing room now only me showering and that weirdo guy who just came in.

when i exit from the cubicle...oh my god!!.....that weirdo guy was sniffing the green undies!!!....yucks!

he took the undies after a few deep sniff and put it into his bag and went out. i was stunned!.....anyway, it wasn't my size. if not, i would have taken it instead...hahahaha...mati!....flame bombs heading this way again!!

..........to be cont'd.......

part 3: LURE OF THE LIME GREEN UNDIES

that wasn't the end of my green undies story....
i dried myself with towel. stripped naked...yes naked with dingdong and anaconda exposed! was about to put on my own personal pairs of XL BUMS undies, the bloody FT indian suddenly entered and startled me. i tot he had already left an hour ago when i first met him initially changing when i just entered to change into my swim trunk.
he was staring me there....i blushed...and quickly pulled up my BUMS. lecherously smiling away, he approached me and asked me whether i noticed a lime green undies. it was his and he forgot to retrieve it.
am i suppose to believe his lame excuse and story?
so i told him: oh i din take it. but a really chiohunk who is damn handsome and muscular took it....
wow! u should ve seen his bewildered excited and ethusiastic face. without a word of thanks he rushed out to hunt for that exaggerated 'chiohunk' i cooked up for him.....he tot that guy must have his lime green undies and i guessed most u all would know what's his lustful intention.
as for me, i quickly changed and get the hell out of the toilet and out of the pool just in case that bloody FT indian came back...
there is a saying in hokkien: bo herr, hay ya ho.
translated: if u cannot get the fish, then the prawn will do...
AND DEFINITELY, I WASN'T GOING TO BE THAT SITTING 'PRAWN'!.....hahahahaha...;9)
...end of the green undies lure......;9)