what a funny post!....hahahaha

his latest pic which he boldly put up in the sammyboy coffeeshop. i think he looks more 'monki' than me....just like a little 沙 和 尚。。。。CUTE ISN'T HE?......;9)


ng e-jay


this new thread by RED SQUIRREL (whoever this joker is) is damn bloody funny!






From:
Red_Squirrel
09:33
To:
ALL
1 of 1

148128.1
'All I did was call him a nerd and he came to kill me'July 31, 2007


Bob Sim
Ng E-Jay
A NUS Mathematics PhD student who got mad when someone mocked him as a "nerd" over the internet logged on to his computer and sent his email to travel 10,000 miles from Singapore to Littleton, Massachusetts to teach the other guy a lesson.
When his email finally arrived at Delphiforums HQ, E-Jay's email caused the man's virtual pizzashop to be burned down.
Today, Ng E-Jay (aka Huang Yijie), 30, pleaded no contest to virtual arson and admitted he set the blaze.
"I didn't think anybody was stupid enough to try to kill anybody over an internet fight," said Bob Sim, 48, who suffered virtual smoke inhalation while trying to put out the blaze that caused S$20,000 in damage to his virtual pizzashop.
"All I did was call him a nerd and he came to kill me."
The feud started when Bob, who runs a virtual pizzashop "The world of leetahsar" *at Delphiforums, joined "Sammyboy.com's Alfresco Coffee Shop" website and posted his daily chanting. After he deleted some messages from his virtual pizzashop because of insults, foul language, and exposure of privacy, they retaliated by making obscene digitally altered pictures of him, he said.
Bob, who went by the screen name "leetahsar," traded barbs with E-Jay, aka "KaiXin1".
Forummers say E-Jay boiled over when Bob called him a nerd and posted an ODE mocking him:

there was a nerd,
who left his turd
in my arse sprayer
in his arse, he poked
there is a dwarf
who is the nerd
who's blessed with a mind
yet he treats it as a turd
there is a toot
who is this dwarf nerd
sweet nothings
he loves her flirts
there is this bayi
who's the nerd
and a dwarf with the turd
and readily spews nonsense just like
spraying his arse
trying to clear all his turds!
woe is this piggy!
woe and alas is he!
having all his nonsense...
cleaning up his turds!
yucks...blech...eeek!!

E-Jay's "fantastic 4" teammate, Jaslyn Go, aka "LaMei", said his email to the Delphiforums HQ in Littleton, Massachusetts was a last-minute decision. She said he never intended to hurt Bob and did not think he was in the virtual pizzashop when the fire was set.
"He lost everything - his virtual pizzashop and his moniker leetahsar now banned - all over an internet squabble," the Delphiforums Administrator said.
Ng E-Jay was sacked from his part-time tutoring job for MA1506 Mathematics II at the National University of Singapore a few months ago, where he earned his BSc (Hons) and MSc degrees in Mathematics, said his PhD thesis supervisor Professor AJ Berrick.
E-Jay would not let the feud go even when he lost his job. He is contemplating of driving a cab.
"Before this happened, the rule was: Nobody messes with the blur piggy," Bob said.

*"The world of leetahsar" had been abruptly destroyed by delphiforums with a lame reason given. the nic kelvin2323 who's a long time pal of LTS didn't complain about abuse usuage of his nic. a 3rd hideous party who is a flamer and a loser did that. for that, my forum was obliterated.
this is very unfair and very UNamerican!!........;9(

THE WONDERFUL ZANY LEETAHSAR....

from a pal who registered himself as leetahsar2. his name is ST YONG and is based in suzhou now. this joker told me he could easily sell me off to rich but old mei mei who is desperate for someone like me - A 48K VIRGIN as a husband....what a joker!....

this was what he posted in the forum about me. i m flattered but it's nice to know that there are always many pals behind me....thank you very much guys!....

LEETAHSAR2:

the poor LTS, a good buddy of mine since school days, is now being completely banned in that funny forum. the poor thing! even got his personal forum WORLD OF LEETAHSAR being obliterated!!

the whole bunch of us good buddies were very fortunate to have acquainted with this zany BOB LEETAHSAR. without him, i could have ended my life during the drastic economy downturn. another pal of us KY CHIN also faced the same problem. we were once all high fliers in the electronic sectors with a 5-figures pay.

his story about choo-choo is real! she was the friendliest and one of the prettiest girl in our class. however, her fate was turned into hell when she met and married a bastard known as JOHN.
after marrying him not long, the couple set up their own business. tragedies and misfortunes followed one another....

first, there was a terrible accident. the car driven by John crashed. choochoo lost an eye while john was perfectly ok. due to this misfortune, choochoo claimed quite a substantial insurance monies. gave most of it to john only saving some for her cosmetic surgery to implant a fake eyeball.

she thought john would use the insurance payout to bail out their ailing business venture. instead, he seconded and abruptly disappeared without a trace.

choochoo was devastated!....oh well, u can read the real happening LTS has posted in his blog here.

but he didn't tell about my part of story which i would gladly share with everyone now.

i was once a high flier service engineer with a slightly more than 5-figures pay. was occasionally headhunted. flied around quite often in business class to attend to regional meetings and servicing calls.

suddenly the economic downturn came. my whole world fell apart! i just bought a new condo and change a new luxury car not long. and this just gotta happen!

i was blank off. i fell into depression cos now i was retrenched! i got my new condo and car instalments to service. to aggravate matters, the properties price dropped like an atomic bomb!! such unpredecent whammies i was being hit one after another.

i wanted to end it all...serious! debts..and debts were piling up cos i drown myself in booze zapping with my credit cards.

things changed until i got a surprise call from BOB. i was so pent up with my sorrows. i just poured everything unto him......and he enlightened me...with a simple buddhist phrase:

EMPTINESS IS FORM....FORM IS EMPTINESS.....what we think we are seeing is not really what we are seeing....

those short sweet humble words still runs pristinely in my mind. it wasn't like overnight i overcome such depression. he accompanied me very often. i dun need to call him. i was already very miserable. he came to me instead. i already sold my new car at a terrible loss. however, i couldn't rid my new condo. the losses there and then would be really silly if i were to sell.

BOB was a jack of all trades. whatever jobs u name it, most likely he has tried it. he was once a real estate agent. in the shortest time, he got for me tenants to rent my property. in a way, it really lightened my financial load.

but the best thing that could happen wasn't this. the best thing was: he enlightened my thinking. made me realised my folly of GREED. made me appreciate the things i possessed instead of chasing for more materialistic wealth.

and i admired him greatly!.....this goon lost his garden which he dumped in so much of his time, money and effort....and in the end, it was mercilessly bulldozered! that's not all. he lost almost his entire saving in the CLOB shares. yet he just brushed it off like as though nothing happened.

IS HE CRAZY??.....i asked myself. and this was what he answered me: EMPTINESS IS FORM...FORM IS EMPTINESS....what's yours will be yours; what's not, then forget about it....if it's lost, it's lost....it simply means it isn't yours....

well, that's the very positive and cheery LEETAHSAR the whole gang of 'squatters' (we hate that term he calls us cos most lost their high paying jobs then) look up to him as our LAO TA GE.

he is always there to give a listening ear. if he can help u, he gladly would - which i doubt he really could cos every squatters need only money to solve their immediate problem.

his being there for us to listen to our whinning and trying his zany ways to enlighten us is already a god-given to us.

.....so LEETAHSAR....cheer up!!!.....u got us!! - your good buddies from the secondary school class 4A......:)

BURMESE PRINCE

MY BURMESE PRINCE

this one very very uncanny and weird. totally unexpected!
he's from burma or myanmar, its new name. his name is MIN THEN. i knew him some years back. he worked in a hospital where i landscaped and maintained the garden there.
since then, he already returned to myanmar. now he was back!!....and i got to meet him in my mei ling!! no joke!
it was a lazy sunday. actually everyday is a lazy sunday to me...hahahaha....;9). i went to mei ling for lunch. after a shiok super serving of lor mee which only cost $2, i proceed to the hainanese kopi stall for my teh C siew dai (less sugar).
"boob...!" a voice suddenly rang out behind me. " boob sim!!!...hey!!"
i turned. a handsome chinese looking guy waving frantically at me. "who the hell is this chio idiot??"
he stood up smiling and flashing his gleaming set of teeth. "boob sim!!! min then...min then....u forgot about me??" he called out.
oh shit! no!!! THE BURMESE PRINCE!!!

lts: min then!!...oh yes! i remember. u worked in that hospital i landscaped...right?
min: ya la!...aiyo, why u here?
lts: i stay here what...and why you here?
min: u dunno la....last time i lived here u know...wah lau!...we lived so near and we still dunno!! i went back for a few years. got married. set up business there. my wife asked me come back here to study....then i go back open hotel la.
lts: huh?...open hotel??...u so bloody rich man!!!...can i call u godfather?..hahahaha...
min: aiyo....boob sim, u dunno la...i need a place to rent. i like here cos very convenient to go to my school. i only staying for 6 mths. my course will finish and i go home. u got house to rent or not...
yes i got. but how should i tell him? renting him would be giving extra income to my lauhanku to go and fuck spiders in hatyai. how to answer him??
silly o' me!! brought him home for tea!!!.....;9(
this blurpiggy never learns his lesson!! for sure!!

now my headache start!
he loved my placed - my 2 units pigeonholes. he loved my plants from one end of the corridor right to the doorsteps....and shit!! he loved me!!......;9(
...and that's where my problem commenced.....;9(


min: boob sim, u dunno...i now staying with my other burmese friends in machperson. one room about 8 persons sleeping. very smelly, packed and very hot u know. can rent one room to me...please la....i cannot concentrate my study la....i like clean clean room...not like the one i m staying now.....very sianzzz u know....
he looked at me pathetically. what was i suppose to do?
lts: ok, i ask my parents and see how...i think i ask my old man first? (i knew that would get him work up and maybe so excited he could drop dead!)
yes, it got him very very excited but he didn't drop dead. he blasted his loudest stereo...but still he didn't drop dead.
lts: see min then....u heard the stereo hor...i can't help u la...i ask around for u ok...can or not...give me some time. i go ask around for u.
min was so touched he was closed to tear. he hugged me...oh dear!!!....i just patted him and ensure i would help him.
after some chatting and tea, it was time for him to buzz off to his school for class. we parted.
u think i said said only, right?
WRONG!! i did ask starting from my floor. all the way down...up the block. all the way to the market. to the hawker stalls.
BINGO!!! THERE WAS ONE OLD MAN who was willing to rent out his room.
soon, min then shifted into the old man's pigeonhole...and my troubles began.....;9(

min then was very thankful to me. he was truly grateful...oh shit!! so grateful, he started bring me gifts...my goodness!
first it was burmese fried garlic. hmmm! very nice. ate already plenty of garlic farts...stinky and very durably lasting. mamalee frown cos it was the only natural fresh garlic scented 'air freshener' in the house...hahahaha.....;9)
i told min then to keep all his foodstuffs to himself. he is away from home, he should use it for himself. i do not need them. and he came again. this time with - oh my god!! - deer antler meat or lu rong. this one very powderful aphrodiasic!
mamalee used to double boiled this for my lauhanku. maybe that makes him what he is today: a very good marikita singer...that one in between his legs, i mean. it always standing attention to our national anthem except he 'sings' it regularly to his teetujias or spider spirits in hat yai.....;9(
lts: wow min then!!....this also u got..u take already very horny u know hor??
min: ya la ...i know. why u think my wifey so like me? *mischievous wink at me!*
boob sim, can intro me some girlfriends or not?
lts: huh?...intro what??!!..YOU WANNA DIE IS IT!!...u come to study or come to play with mei meis??
min: aiyo...sorli la...beri lonely sometime u know....*that sulking pathetic expression again*
yes, boob sim...my inlis beri bed...can u teach me??..can..pleassssssssse?
siao liao!!!....how now??...how huh??? am i suppose to be his inlis english

lts: serious or not you?
min then nodded..again that pitiful expression and pouty lips.
lts: ok lor...can! $200 per mth. want?
min: aiyo...alamak...*&"�$#@ (dunno what burmese. could be F words)....dun like that la... *sulk, pout...wink*
lts: ok...$50 ...for u...special...$50...
min: dun want la....
lts: $5....ok...$5
min: umhmmm..boob sim...! umhmmm....
wow lau! trying to get fresh with me?
lts: ok...GO TO HELL!!.....;9(

MIN: sorli ...boob sim...sorli....u see...i dun want wifey to send me more money. i try to get a part time job. if u can help me.....get one for me ..can...can?
see....i m now like his nanny. everything pao ka liao for him....jialat and chum for me....;9(
lts: oh really? can i pimp u off as a gigolo...i get 70% u take 30%...can?...u very cute...can make many many money..hahahaha...;9)
min blushed and flushed with embarrassment.
min: never mind. i go ask my burmese friends. but can teach me inglis or not...pleasssssse..pleassssssse...i clean ur 2 houses free of charge..pleasssssssse...pleasssssssse...
i was at my wit's end: ok...ok...i help u....u dun need to clean my flats...i got maid.
min: thank you, boob sim...( shit!! he hugged me again! i gotta to push him away. maybe i should smack him to remind him � � � � �� ���)
lts: min then! just say thank you, can already...DON'T HUG ME AGAIN!! OK??
instead of being his inlis english teacher, i ended up his personal secretary.
i m suppose to finish all his assignment like YOU R NOW THE GENERAL MANAGER OF A 500 ROOMS 5 STAR HOTEL. THERE ARE MANY COMPLAINTS FR GUESTS. HOW TO RECTIFY THE PROBLEM AND IMPROVE THE HOTEL'S IMAGE and increase business for the hotel.
min then, if i know hor....I WOULD BE THE GM OF THE HOTEL! I WON'T BE WRITING THIS STUPID ASSIGNMENT FOR U!!
but bo bian, i had finished it. he had handed it in. his lecturer said it was fantastic!! he would let me know the grade when the papers are returned to him.
and now, there is another immediate assignment:
YOU R NOW THE SECURITY MANAGER - SAME HOTEL . how do u improve the security and safety of hotel guests without making the guest feeling uncomfortable.
basket how???....who can do this assignment for me???
20 july '07. suppose to hand up this assignment.
me and my kaypohji nature!!!...kek sim!!.....;9(

MIN: sorli ...boob sim...sorli....u see...i dun want wifey to send me more money. i try to get a part time job. if u can help me.....get one for me ..can...can?
see....i m now like his nanny. everything pao ka liao for him....jialat and chum for me....;9(
lts: oh really? can i pimp u off as a gigolo...i get 70% u take 30%...can?...u very cute...can make many many money..hahahaha...;9)
min blushed and flushed with embarrassment.
min: never mind. i go ask my burmese friends. but can teach me inglis or not...pleasssssse..pleassssssse...i clean ur 2 houses free of charge..pleasssssssse...pleasssssssse...
i was at my wit's end: ok...ok...i help u....u dun need to clean my flats...i got maid.
min: thank you, boob sim...( shit!! he hugged me again! i gotta to push him away. maybe i should smack him to remind him � � � � �� ���)
lts: min then! just say thank you, can already...DON'T HUG ME AGAIN!! OK??
instead of being his inlis english teacher, i ended up his personal secretary.
i m suppose to finish all his assignment like YOU R NOW THE GENERAL MANAGER OF A 500 ROOMS 5 STAR HOTEL. THERE ARE MANY COMPLAINTS FR GUESTS. HOW TO RECTIFY THE PROBLEM AND IMPROVE THE HOTEL'S IMAGE and increase business for the hotel.

min then, if i know hor....I WOULD BE THE GM OF THE HOTEL! I WON'T BE WRITING THIS STUPID ASSIGNMENT FOR U!!
but bo bian, i had finished it. he had handed it in. his lecturer said it was fantastic!! he would let me know the grade when the papers are returned to him.
and now, there is another immediate assignment:
YOU R NOW THE SECURITY MANAGER - SAME HOTEL . how do u improve the security and safety of hotel guests without making the guest feeling uncomfortable.
basket how???....who can do this assignment for me???
20 july '07. suppose to hand up this assignment.
me and my kaypohji nature!!!...kek sim!!.....;9(

MIN: sorli ...boob sim...sorli....u see...i dun want wifey to send me more money. i try to get a part time job. if u can help me.....get one for me ..can...can?
see....i m now like his nanny. everything pao ka liao for him....jialat and chum for me....;9(
lts: oh really? can i pimp u off as a gigolo...i get 70% u take 30%...can?...u very cute...can make many many money..hahahaha...;9)
min blushed and flushed with embarrassment.
min: never mind. i go ask my burmese friends. but can teach me inglis or not...pleasssssse..pleassssssse...i clean ur 2 houses free of charge..pleasssssssse...pleasssssssse...
i was at my wit's end: ok...ok...i help u....u dun need to clean my flats...i got maid.
min: thank you, boob sim...( shit!! he hugged me again! i gotta to push him away. maybe i should smack him to remind him � � � � �� ���)
lts: min then! just say thank you, can already...DON'T HUG ME AGAIN!! OK??
instead of being his inlis english teacher, i ended up his personal secretary.
i m suppose to finish all his assignment like YOU R NOW THE GENERAL MANAGER OF A 500 ROOMS 5 STAR HOTEL. THERE ARE MANY COMPLAINTS FR GUESTS. HOW TO RECTIFY THE PROBLEM AND IMPROVE THE HOTEL'S IMAGE and increase business for the hotel.
min then, if i know hor....I WOULD BE THE GM OF THE HOTEL! I WON'T BE WRITING THIS STUPID ASSIGNMENT FOR U!!
but bo bian, i had finished it. he had handed it in. his lecturer said it was fantastic!! he would let me know the grade when the papers are returned to him.
and now, there is another immediate assignment:
YOU R NOW THE SECURITY MANAGER - SAME HOTEL . how do u improve the security and safety of hotel guests without making the guest feeling uncomfortable.
basket how???....who can do this assignment for me???
20 july '07. suppose to hand up this assignment.
me and my kaypohji nature!!!...kek sim!!.....;9(

ringggggggg! my domestic phone rang cos i gave him that cos my hp had no free incoming calls cos i think it was going to be a long...long...long...conversation.
tommy: hi bob! everything's settled for me. we meet at chinatown at about 8pm.
da thum..da thum..da thum....my heart was thumping loud and fast.
who was this joker? how he got my name? where did he get my number?
the more i thought, the better curiosity got hold of me....;9)
i changed and zoomed off to meet him.
i was suppose to meet him at a bus stop infront of PEARL'S CENTRE which is near to outram mrt station.
alighting the bus, i gazed around for this mysterious indo joker.
ppppp...pp. my sms sounded: ARE U HERE?
i looked around. there was one tall guy gazing and shooting bak at me. could that be him? he told me he was like 1.83M and about 78kg. quite a big man like my aiyah dudi jixialan....;9)
i was about to approach that tall guy when suddenly there was a gentle tap on my shoulder behind me......

PART 3

well....it was one of those good makan i hadn't have for a long long time.....;9). sipping in between our SHOU MEI tea, we chatted.
hawker: u know hor lee, reading ur stories is the best de-stressing i can get. laugh n laugh...u damn damn siao, man!! so much better than jack neo's copycat stories. urs all damn oliginal(original) u know....i chinese helicopted (educated)...but hor ...u singlish super powderful leh...and best i can relate all ur happenings..hahahaha....
lts: simi meh??...ledi huh?? (if he had noticed carefully, i was already levitating above my seat!.........;9)
so which on u like best?
hawker: hahahaha...ur ITALIAN GF MONICA...wow lau!! beh tahan!! real one or not? i just almost done with that and everytime i close shop....i on pc to continue ur stories...no joke! 2ooo+....read also can laugh until die!
lts: real one la....there is one part i added alot of seasoning to a HARDRODCAFE's super orgy with bitchy lusty gloria...that one jiao liao fictitious....;9). now very distracting handling clowns la....damn kek sim...those idiots who met me...YOU WON'T END UP AS ONE OF THEM HOR?
hawker: wow hahahaha!!...u damn damn bladi funny leh!! i read only. i dun post la...my ang mor cannot make it. why u think i hawker? but my char kuay teow mo ta teng, ok! (unbeatable)
hmmm...'my char kuay teow mo ta teng', this phrase sounded like some one else who said that before. oh shit!! kelvin thum aka sotong: MY HOKKIEN MEE mo ta teng!!
LTS: really huh? belanja me next time lor....packet one for me...or i visit ur stall, can?
hawker: wow lau!...u visit me...i sure kena 4D!...come, come...i add extra liao for u...my stall is at (censored for privacy).....;9)
oh yes!! i would be meeting him again. i got this strong feeling especially when he starts reading all the gayish xxx+x tales....he might be shocked out of his dingdong or he might be intrigued for more details.
that would be my next claypot sharkfin. i hope....;9)..bian jiak..bian jiak...hahahaha

PART 2

i hurried down the stairs....there! the knight in shiny armor! except this was the humble middle-aged hawker in his shiny golden S320 mercz!!
i remembered a very nice dude forummer whom i met in S280...but hell!!...this is a HAWKER in a S320 class!! the cost of it must be in the region of $300+K.
oh well...might as well hop in and see what he was up to.
hawker: hi, lee
LTS: hi...who's car is this?
hawker: hahahaha...no lah...mine la...why?
LTS: wow...hawker now damn rich hor??
he smiled. formally intro him and continued: u know lee, i just love all ur silly bo liao stories...laugh and laugh...u must print it into a book...
LTS: huh?...really meh? u r the like 5th person who asks me do that u know...u wanna invest or not? u print for me lor..hahaha..
hawker: i think i may...but ur stories damn damn long leh....i read finish ur ITALIAN GF MONICA...and wow lau!!....2000+ to go...hahahaha...anyway, i m reading and laughing like dunno what....
LTS: good lor, that's what my stories are intended for ...and u so lucky... i told myself won't meet any more idiots..i mean jokers from sbf anymore...but u gave me ur hp so i just sms u...and well...we meet.
i suggested AH YAT at turf city. cheap, cosy and friendly captains there who just loved to give me free deserts or fruits platter...;9)
off he zipped in his song song kor jurong golden mercz.....;9)

soon we were at turf city. next moment, we were ushered by vincent to a cosy private dining table.
vincent, the chio hk captain there seem to know him. strange.
LTS: leng chai, u know this my friend here?
vincent: ya la...he always comes here....he's a solid regular!
i was thinking: solid regular?? what the hell he mean by that???
hawker: no la....just come once a while with family to sup their special offer. i think today they got this ALASKAN CRAB on offer. shall we order one and then a bao chi (sharkfin soup whole)?
LTS: huh?...u kidding hor? can we go dutch and dun order so expensive or not...i not very rich u know..
hawker: what u mean?...i m giving u a treat. dun worry lah..hahaha...
LTS: er...better not. after u post in sbf i CHEAT LEECH AND EXPLOIT...i no horse run again....;9(
hawker: oh...u mean that loser who created so many polls about u...hahahaha...i m not he la..what u always call him?..what being fuck??...damn funny hahahaha....
LTS: ya...that idiot and loser....(sulk)
hawker: cheer up man!!....i m not he. dun be so dejected. i order ok..u want any other dishes?
LTS: no...thanks!...too much already.
boy!!! ALASKAN CRAB! special offer $168 each...simply steamed. the texture of those soft silky meat. and the roe...the one the captain chose for us was plumped with roe!!!
next the sharkfin whole...my goodness. in claypot stewed in season ham gravy. POWER MAN!!!...just heavenly!! u eat this simply with a garnish of towgay or bean sprout and some chinese parsley. dribble some red vinegar ...and yes! vincent knew my taste, he had a saucer of shao xin wine standby for me.
heaven!!....i was in heaven!!!....sup..sup...and sup sup!!...;9)
we chatted. soon, as usual, a platter of fruits was complimentarily served to us.
wow!! no joke! today they added taiwanese mango to the platter....;9). usually it was just watermelon, honeydew and papaya. today we got something really extra and expensive. - TAIWANESE MONSTER MANGO!!

ARRIVAL OF BURMESE PRINCE AND OIL LORD

this is just great!!...really a double GREATS!
the arrival of BURMESE PRINCE. not long after that, an oil lord came a calling me!
but let me start this FR with meeting up of a humble but super rich hawker.
guess what?
he read my bo liao stories. PM me and so so keen to meet me. bo bian. he said the magic word: I BELANJA U....he treated me to food...glorious food!!...
and this greedy piggy obliged!...;9)
FR of these 3 very interesting world apart characters ON soon.
standby.
i will keep my stories now here cos no point sharing with those at the main kopitiam.
they wanna read but then all get so emotionally derilious and upset to even deranged. so better play safe and create less hatred ...
ornitoufo.....;9)

THE RICH HUMBLE CHAR KUAY TEOW HAWKER

one day, i was replying all the flamings and flamings...non stop like hundreds and still incoming....;9(
ding ding dong dong....rang my email alert.
an weird email came in.
someone who so keen to meet up with me. he gave me all his full personal details and hp #.
ok lor...a curious pig is as closed to a dead piggy...as usual for this blurpiggy with habits die hard....;9(
set. the appointment was made. i went to meet this mysterious hawker at queenstown mrt.
ringgg...went my handphone.
LTS: yes, HAWKER....where are u?
hawker: can u come to the carpark beside the mrt. my mercz is here #1234, gold color....u will see me inside the car.
wow lau!! did he just tell me he was a char kuay teow hawker??....hawker leh....what the hell was he driving a MERCEDES??
...hmm...my curiosity worms were itching all over my pork chop now. i just couldn't wait to see how he look like....;9)
stay tuned....dun go away.....

the pains of meeting lame forumers from sbf kopitiam

WP/NSP Discussions - New Folder for TiLik




From:
SandST0RM
07:01
To:
leetahsar
224 of 224

146375.224 in reply to 146375.190
You said: "ah seng shunned boneface."
This is interesting. Why should ah seng shun boneface?

didn't u notice?
she detested vincent or ramseth, but she still DARLING him orgasmically.
maybe she also tried before to DARLING ah seng and ah seng just blandly told her:
FUCK OFF, UGLY!
and that might have started her personal sinister vendetta against ah seng.
she darling gaylord and he steamed cos in a weird uncanniness she is a pirate copy of his wife. what a sinister twist of fate!
she was intro to gaylord by ltk's goddaughter cos she bo bian....husb's biz got into legal tussle with client...BIG TIME!!
that started the shadowy liaison of desperado housewife and blurcock gaylord. the legal tussle dragged on and on. (both of them was actually pleased with it - means could meet up more often what...;9(
finally the plaintiff decided to drop the case and gaylord yaya the papaya made it looked like he won it.
yes he won no matter what. boneface still got to pay him legal fees cos the law firm wasn't his. it was his uncle's.
so friend friend, luber luber also must pay up OR else uncle sues!
might as well i continue the whole lame story....
one fine day, the sex pervert sotong called me up. told me a la mei wanted to meet him (actually me la). he asked me to tag along. he didn't tell me it was me she wanted to meet NOT him.
but sotong is a weirdo very easily succumbed to FLIRT & DESTROY. and we met in ZI YEAN. this clown was fully attired in flowery long sleeve with an equally funny looking flowery tie.
why huh? i really dunno. he told me he was meeting client later. what a creep!
we ate at the aircond more expensive ZI YEAN instead of the economical kopitiam styled one. later he tried to flirt with her in msn in very very perverted manner and that peeved the SLUG. (story exposed liao)
next we had regular meetup in my meiling. i was stupidly thinking gaylord might be our new kid of the block to take on the PAPS. knowing kaixin with his very deductive mind, i roped him into our meeting....and that sadly was another sinister liaison created.
he met with cantbeassed and jacys during one of her arrival.
then i wrote about the stupid PAU with POLL - people against upgrading, thinking and trying to save my mei ling as i feared that after upgrading hawker prices there would not be like what i was getting now.
but mainly meiling is an old folks place. u won't want things to be made too expensive for them, right?
i attended a chitchat by BAEY YAM KENG. i asked all those clowns to attend too to see what was in the towncouncil plan...and this indirectly planted a doubt in them over my intention.
my intention is simple: WHOEVER OR WHATEVER PLAN THAT THERE MAYBE FOR MEILING IF IT'S FOR THE BETTERMENT OF THE RESIDENTS HERE....take it!!
their sinister intention: WE WANT TO BE ACTIVISTS TO FIGHT THE PAPS MACHINERY...whether good or bad.
and hell they dun even reside in my area to understand the situation of the old folks living here. they are merely fighting to get a feather in their cap for future bragging should they be candidates in the next GE.
can u see the real intention here? of course, i objected! my thoughts are for the bigger good not for self glorification.
the way i treated them wholeheartedly they should have understood me better....;9(
yet because of this split of thought, we gradually fell apart. that's when i happened to be msn-ing our darling vincent one day. obviously, the slug was also online with him....and well, vincent might have snitched on me just like the slug snitching on her darling to me.
COMPLICATED?.....VERY!!
there are more happenings and discoveries i realised as our meetup followed. Finally i decided to call it a day with them cos they are getting to be more and more sinister.
this little turdy nerd is one lonely sorry soul who thought he found a bunch of FRIENDS. they treated him as one cos he would be a very useful instrument to them.
he didn't realise he still got his real role to play, ie., finished his ph D before getting into some stupid mischiefs that would end him with nothing but suffering - to himself and to his poor parents.
do the bonnie and clyde pair consider his welfare? or do they only interested in their own sinister scheme?
sotong is a clown and a lame comedy relief in this story. he zapped off when gaylord mentioned ACTIVISM. he feared that he might be implicated in whatever 'ISD' matters. now that the whole idea of this was dropped off, they FLIRT him back. the reason sotong was back cos he is an idiot always trying to be generous to pay for food and drinks.
but u all should know his CHEAT, LEECH and EXPLOIT sarcasms on me all over sbf kopitiam. you should know what kind of faked up generosity this chow ah kua really is.
there r my more insightful reports on the lame fantasick 4.
standby for collective attacks from them....;9(

LTS DARE TO LIVE THE DREAM! do u dare to live yours?

LIVE THE DREAM: spotlights, camera, action and wtf!! big hairy prick mic!!

yes!
i was there yesterday - a Sunday. i went for the audition. it was the last day.
well, i didn't make it. but i was bold enough to go.
guide: uncle, ur turn next. standing on the silver marked box. hold ur number card. intro urself and the song u wanna sing. got it?
lts: yes...sure....ok
in i went holding the #card. they photoshot me like a convict. oh..the glaring spotlight. er...what's that hanging above huh??

oh my god!
a monstrous greyish ...hairy...pricky mic!!
judge 1: relax la uncle.... (woooh! i hated it when they called me that - UNCLE!)
judge 1: ya...leelax la....dun look at the prick..i mean the mic...leelax...u can sing anytime u r ready ok, uncle.... (shit! she called me that again....;9(

so i began....
LTS: hi everyone, my name is bob my er convict # is 12358...shit if u read it in canto..yat yi sum mmmh fa*..hahaha....;9( ( *1, 2, 3...whole life cannot prosper)
hahahahaha...they laughed....;9)
i continued: i would like to sing I LEFT MY HEART IN SAN FRANCISCO.....hey!..wait!...i know u!!...u r dunno what HUSSEIN...champion in old old talentime, right?
shit! my old old already offended HUSSEIN....she smiled wryly: ok bob,...(smiled rather strangely)...anytime u r ready...belt it out.....(weak smiled)...
judge1: ann...
lts: huh?...what where got ant??
judge1:...no ANN!....oh...neber mind...just sing!
oh dear!!....i offended 2 judges at one go. she was ann hussein!
LTS: oh ya!!...ANN HUSSIEN!!....i participated in the talentime u were in...about 20+ years ago!!!...u won the contest, right...right???....(all eager now).
judge2: ya..ya...hehehe...(weak embarrassed laughter..meaning i had unwittingly told everyone there she was already a lau cha bor! i had rubbed acid into her wound. shit! still i blur blur..;9(
so...i closed my eyes. briefly meditated...and sang..
I LEFT MY HEART IN SAN FRANCISCO....*blank off!*
hell!! i forgot the lyrics...after CISCO...mati lah!!!......;9(

heck care la!...just belt it all out! finally i finished the song. i knew i was done for it too.
a cute mei mei guided me to the result room. hell! i needed a leak! off i zoomed to the gents...and ..and...wtf! not

the toilet was bloody remote. when i entered, a hunk was singing his wank...wait!...wanking his song??...what the fuck did he think he was doing!!??
he smiled bashfully at me...zipped up and zoomed out! after i released my frothy niagra fall, i too zipped up and zoomed back to the result room and waited aniticipatingly.
numbers by numbers were called. those called first were have to F off. they didn't make it. i was still sitting there. my # 12358 not called yet..hehehehe....;9)
i was in ecstasy too early...
12358...sorry, u din make it.
oh shit!...i knew it!! ok lor, my turn to F off....;9(

TOA PAYOH HUB LIVE STAGE

i exited from the audition room and headed to TOA PAYOH HUB where there was a stage.
a lame guy who just sang in the audition was up there talking to the chiobu compere.
lame guy: i would like to dedicate this song to my wife over there...my in laws there..and there...and yes...my baby boy..there...and my dog there..blah..blah..blah
compere: stop!...NO MORE THERE!! tell us what u wanna sing ?
lame guy: oh sorry...elvis' ARE U LONESOME TONITE!
wow lau! when he sang, all my goosepimples stood out...better than the coldest air cond! oh my god!!!
compere: hahahah....er..that was er...pretty good...thank u lame guy!....who's next....oh we have a cute little girl..what's ur song
little girl: u dun ve to say u love me
compere: ok..i dun say i love u..ehehehehe...hit it girl!
wow! this little girl is really little but her voice was really powerhouse! after her song, there was round of applause. everyone loved it!
compere: look what we have here...hi!..what's ur name
reply: ah seng...but hor..u can hor called me jason..
compere: ok hor..jason hor...what u wanna see for us hor...?
jason: TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR
audience burst out laughing...no joke! that was the song he actually sang...and all the lyrics ....ALL WRONG!!!
the appreciative audience and compere sang along with him. it was all in good fun...cos we realised this cute young man was actually a subnormal intelligent person. quite handsome but hiazz...too bad.
and who's next??
ME OF COURSE!!!...zoom.....up i went on stage in a jiffy!....;9)

LTS WENT TO LTD

actually i was standing among the crowd. suddenly there was a light tap on my shoulder. a LIVE THE DREAM guide smiled at me and said: uncle, u go up and sing la...u powderful man!
LTS: huh?...u know me meh?
LTD guy: yes uncle (shit! not UNCLE, again!!), we watch ur video just now in the audition...u were the uncle who said u bought a $10 shirt just for this right...hehehehe....
LTS: oh yes...so how?...i forgot the lyrics..shit!
LTD guy: neber mind la, uncle...u go up after this retarded joker ok...
and there i was standing on stage with this chiobu cute compere. i shook her soft hand.
compere: hi uncle....(omg, UNCLE again!!)....how r u?
LTS: not very good dear...i was at the audition...and hell! i forgot my lyrics...
compere: oh what a shame!...what song did u sing?
LTS: i left my heart in san francisco.....
compere: hahahaha...poor uncle...u din left ur heart la...u left the lyrics there..hahahaha...
LTS: ya hor..hahahaha....
compere: so how?....
LTS: so huh?...i beri the beh kum guan...u know...and ur boy down there edged me to come up and sing it again lor
compere: ok uncle...we let u kum guan kum guan..hahahah..hit it uncle! ( uncle!! i felt like hitting her instead!)
LTS sang: I LEFT....MY HEART.....IN SAN FRANCISCO....UP ON A HILL, IT CALLS TO ME.......
....upon the high....and windy sea (very high note)
*APPLAUSE* from the audience. i was pleasantly surprised and continued:
...YOUR GOLDEN SUN....WILL SHINE FOR ME........................(dragged and dragged..and dragged until faded.....{i very long winded u know so i could drag very long....;9)
*LOUDER APPLAUSE*...;9)
compere: steady uncle!!!....please collect the souvenir before u go....
so i went down the staircase.
compere shouted: hey uncle...!!!! dun go with my mic!!!...
so i ran back up again to return her mic..hahahaha....;9)
and it was a very satisfying experience. a deja vu 20+ yrs ago when i auditioned for TALENTIME with my guitar slinged behind my back...
i should have brought along my guitar. it would be even more interesting.
well, there went my LIVE THE DREAM...or rather my chance at the $40K grand prize...;9)

conluding part to my FUCKING TIEN LORS

in my goldfish bowl, i still got a surviving tien lor. it's bigger now. hell, it's very greedy. it has eaten many water hyacinths which i hv thrown it.
the latest one was gnawed until it was left with half a spongy leaf. luckily, i got a free supply from the temple's pond where water hyacinths grown like weeds!
i untied the plastic bag on reaching home and unload the 4 japanese tien lors into the water. the one that i have was still gnawing at the remnant of the last figment of water hyacinth leaf.
i fed my 2 goldfishes with a special fine pellet fish food. as the pellets decended into the bottom, the snails were stimulated into action.
they crawled out from the shell and were feeding frenzily. they must be damn hungry!.
i just left them there.....
a few hours late, it was night fall. i heard 'clink..clank..clank'. oh shit! i panic and thought the snails were crawling out from the bowl again and escaping.
these critters were quite smart u know. they would crawl out of the bowl and crawled everywhere. they would play hide and seek with u. when u found them, they crasped very firmly to the surface. u need quite a force to pull them out and throw them back into the bowl.
that was what happen last time when i had a pair. one crawled out and must have felled, cracked its shell and helplessly i got to steam and eat it up cos the shell was broken. it couldn't live for long with a broken shell.....;9(
no. this bunch was quite disciplined. they didn't crawl out but there over each other. my god! they were FUCKING each other. it was like a wild orgy. the 5 clambered over each other.
i noticed a proboscis kind of probe ejecting out from the side of the shell and sticking into another snail. they were squirting sperms.
the water was turned quite murky and milky.yes, it must be mating season!!
one would climb on top of the rest, slipped and fell..and 'clank' and 'clink' were heard....it was really a very whimsical sight.....;9)
what did my 2 goldfish doing?...well, they were also fucking each other. one nudging the backside of the other...then the other would nudge back....what an orgy nite in the goldfish bowl!

the extra snails i got from cb or chubby cute boss was actually a request from my cid pal.
he owned a very large koi pond. the algae was growing furiously and when he saw my goldfish bowl so spick and span from algae, he also wanted some japanese water snails.
as promised, i finally got them for him. and i really couldn't stand the murky sperm milky water.
i hastened him to come and get his tien lors...or else...yes or else! they would be dinner for me!
and he came....

well, the tien lors after having an orgasmic fucking session with all their cum spewed all over the water were resting now.
their shells were tight tucked. they were immobilised.
here came my cid pal. i told him to pick the snails himself. just leave 2 for me would be suffice.
hell!...the snails were stucked very very tightly to the wall of the goldfish bowl. he couldn't pull them apart!
as he was doing the pulling, my horny pair of goldfish swam up to nibble his arms.
he was startled and quickly withdrew his submerged hand and yelled: ur bloody snails bit me!!...got poison or not?
LTS: hahahaha...u damn damn lame leh!...my goldfishes bit u la..u so scare!
i immersed my gentle hand, stroked the tien lors lovingly...and off it detached and sank to the botton of the bowl. cling...clang...cling.... a pair was stucked together hotly bonking away. i picked up both of it and gave them to him telling him that if they bred, remembered to return me some for my dinning table..hahahaha.....;9)
hence, i siphoned and changed the murky spermy water. oh, i din waste any water.
the sperm contaminated water was used to water my plants. i think my plants would lover those extra hormonal boost...hahaha.....;9)

story ends. cute and funny?

i remembered my promise to my cid pal that i would get him some japanese tien lor or the water escargot.
i told my pal i need to get some snails. we went to the aquariums diplay outside where they had an array assortment of live seafood.
there at the highest level tank - my jap escargots! how lucky could i be! today it was half priced!
there wasn't anyone around. me being a garang bold goon climbed up with plastic bags to help myself.
then a voice yelled from my back: HEY!!!...WHAT ARE U DOING UP THERE!!??

I turned. there below was a cute chubby guy. looked like the boss to me.
i almost reached my escargot tanks. just a couple of steps. but there on the wall, it warned:
DO NOT STEP BEYOND THIS POINT. WARNING: SLIPPERY FLOOR
oh well, i descend.
LTS, turning on my charm at the chubby boss: sorry, no one here to entertain me...i wanna buy tien lor....there up there in that highest tank. (pointed my finger to the highest spot)
cb (chubby boss not ur that ok): how many kilo u want?
LTS: huh?...kilo?..u joiking is it?...i need only 4 or 5 snails...i need it to graze away the algae of my fishtank...very good and efficient algae removers u know...
cb: huh, lei yao mo kor cho?....(u something wrong is it?)
LTS: dui mm chui...sorry ya...last time i got 2 here...but one committed suicide. it climbed out of the tank and fell. the shell cracked and it kwa chor..(means died)
cb:.....haahahahahaha....so how many u want now?
LTS: er...4 will do lah...half price right?
cb:...no!...half price u eat here. take away live of dead is only less 30%...how still want?
LTS: ok lor...(smiled and shoot bak at him lovingly.....;9)
cb called one of the chinaman worker to climb up and get me 4 snails. after that he tied it up neatly and passed to me.
LTS: kei tor chin...how much?
cb: mmm kan yew...peh lei lor...hahaha....(smiled)
LTS: tor chay sai.!!!...thank you very much (one last shoot bak at him....;9)
cb gave me the snails..FREE OF CHARGE!!....

MY FUCKING JAP TIEN LOR PART 2

MY FUCKING JAP TIEN LOR PART 2

one of my squatting pal visited me yesterday. he was quite depresssed and appetiteless. well, me just striked lst prize, 3rd prize and ibet last saturday.
i suggested we lunched at ah yat at turf city cos a bitch recently bragged she treated to some losers gang there with 'abalone'.
wonder did she treated them to the half priced dim sum and later let them had her own personal 'abalone and sharksfin'...hahaha....;9)
anyway, the chiohunk capt VINCENT was still there. ever the cheerful, warm and friendly hkie.
vincent: hi, leng chai....how many persons?
lts: just 2...this my pal.. (exchanged smiles and greetings).
lts: did an evil bag of bones came to dine here with a bunch of losers recently and order sharksfin and abalone?
vincent: ???....what friends u talking...if u mean ur laukuaybus gang and aunties...yes...they came very often almost every saturday...
lts: no la....skinny small ratty eyes UGLY BITCH....
vincent: dunno leh...
today, he recommended the hk noodle in braised beef biskets and tedons...DAMN DAMN SHIOK!
my pal just loved it!...and of course we ordered other dim sums...the po lo bao or pineapple baked bun with charsiew filllings was damn super too. he loved that. in fact he loved everything that i ordered....
soon we finished everything and he insisted paying for it cos he enjoyed it very much.
he enjoyed the food or he enjoyed my company. or because of my company that he enjoyed the food.
anyway, like i told him before coming there. i footed the bill so cheap!...ordered so many things and not even $30!!...hahahaha....;9)

some funny pics done by EXIST15. what a girl!

this guy was once THE BEST SPEAKER IN THE COLLEGE DEBATE. of course, he's a smooth operator with words......;9(

same human, different lives.....sad.....;9(

this one gotta to be the biggest joke of the year!...hahahaha...;9)

GREED KNOWS NO BOUND....

from here on, singapore would be a country measure in DOLLAR$ & CENT$....nothing else matter!.....;9(

CHEONGSTER, SOTON & SANSAN, THE TEETUJIA

saturday as usual....
bbbbb ....bb! goodie! msg in my handphone. it read: WE R HEADING FOR GEYLANG LOR XX. U WANNA JOIN? - kaixin, the cheongster.
huh?? what's all this??
i responded by calling: hallo! caixim...what's with the sms and geylang?
kx: no lah...soton is itchy. didn't he sms u to come to mei ling? how cum u din cum?
me blurr, lts: sms me?? where got? u mean soton and u were eating at my mei ling?....he din sms or call la...WHAT'S UP WITH THIS CUTTLEFISH??
kx: aiyoh..he said he sms..called..and u din respond. and yes..his is UP....VERY VERY UP....and horny now. we are reaching geylang lor XX. come lah! join us...the same teetucave the last time we dragged u there...OKT misses u and so is his mum...hahahaha.....
lts: no thanks...u 2 have fun...me got lots of gardening to do...see u tonight for dinner, ok.
kx: ok lor...see u then...i belanja u ...*muaks!*
muaks?? shit!! this cheongster must be really horny too!

night fell.
bbbbb...bb! sms read: c'mon down to FUNAN....me there now waiting for u...*muak muak!*
double muaks??....hmmm....what's going on?
curiosity kills piggy!! i dressed up and zoomed immediately there to meet my muaking caixim, the cheongster of geylang lorongs.
....continues....

part 2

there, waiting eagerly, my caixim as usual in his black Ts and jeans. wonder did he change since day one i met him...yes...again in black Ts and jeans!
lts, arms stretching to shake him...(his hand lah!!) : hi caisim, what's up?
kx, blushed: aiyo! can dun say the UP word or not?....i din UP this afternoon...u want me to UP u is it?....
lts, blur again: what do u mean UP??..UP what??...what's up??
with his swing bag over his groin, kx blushed: shit lah!!...it's UP now!!!...wait..SHUDDUP!!...let me take deep breathing first....i need the flag lowering stance ....u make me all horny all over...! (face flushed pink now our geylang cheongster)
kx: sigh!...better now...back to normal. shall we go get a bite first?....i tell u what's happening...i belanja u...*wink..wink*..
ok lor!...magic word: BELANJA...bonus: wink ..wink. I M ON!!
we walked to CHARCOAL ( the old name was PETALS) which was a SHATEC training school in hotel industry and located at the TREASURY BUILDING. this was pinkie the clown's territory.
kx: dun worry...today my treat...
we glanced at the menu prices displayed on an artist stand outside. the prices really shocked us! it was like all around $30+ it used to be like below $20 for a 5 course meal with appetiser, soup, main course, coffee/tea (or me) and dessert.
and now the prices had escalated!
kx: er...on second thought, we go back FUNAN for PASTAMANIA...can?
lts: sure! the prices here now like daylight robbery!!
back we went to FUNAN and settled for pasta. i had a veggie pasta. kx ordered the LASAGNE. one shoot bak we got each a freshly brewed kopi for only $1. another shoot bak and a muak from caixim, he got a bowl of MINESTRONE soup.....hahahaha...we finally settled down to sup and enjoy our food and aromatic coffee.
....continues.....soton ate SANSAN the teetujia alive and raw!

part 3

before i go into the orgasmic bliss and marital union of soton and sansan teetujia, let me apologise to him first.
we were msning this morning - a group orgy again. he was like the stalker lpplking...keeping silent and watching only.
his usual kaypohji and chatty self wasn't there. NOW WHAT CAN BE WRONG WITH HIM....???

RA 21+.....enter at ur own risk....;9)
after the final slurping of my veggie linguine, i looked at caisim sweetly. he was like a carebear u know...so sweet and could be eaten raw...hahahaha....;9)
kx, looked up at me from his yummy lasagne: what??...what??...dun look at me like that leh....or it would be mari kita down there once more....pleae lah.....ok..ok..i tell...i tell u whatever u wanna know..
lts: well?....soton din call me last saturday when both u jokers were enjoying my mei ling...why??
kx: aiyo!! how i know..??....he told me he called and sms u. it was u who din respond...no meh??
lts, glaring more droolingly at him: u say lor...? after mei ling, where u 2 lovebirds go?..dun tell me!!....GEYLANG TEETUCAVE??!!
kx, head bowed: yes lah...where else? soton was really horny that day...he drove me there. but i wasn't in the mood....u know.....u always telling me my facial feature is a glowing one...so dun waste it in teetucave and teetujia...so i was pondering over ur bloody words!!...ponder until..i couldn't sing my mari kita...
lts: huh??? really meh?...me so good one huh??
kx: abathen!! but OKT already booked SANSAN to come service...so soton being horny told me to rest...he took over from there...AND BOY!! did he take over! or his passion and loud groaning took over the whole orkweekeng (whorehouse)!!
lts: huh??..quick!! details...details...DETAILS!!!! QUICK!!
kx: simmer down lah!!....everyone's looking this way u idiot!...this is how it went........

PART 4:CHEONGSTER, SOTON & SANSAN, THE TEETUJIA

kx continued: both of them, one right, one left licking and slurping...slurping and sucking....finally i just dun care whether there was cuttlefish licking furiously on my other side...the horniness was really intense now...my flag raising mari kita was at its toppest!....ah sar u ok or not??...how come ur mouth like niagra fall...drool until like that??
wide eyed and mouth opened, i hastily wiped off the drools: ..then what happened...quick..quick..more details!!
kx, blushed and continued: then...then...sansan unzipped me..if not, sure fractured down there. my rod sprang out like a jack in the box when she tugged off my red undies.... *blush*.... yes..yes... i wear that regularly in honour of ur red undies story...heeheehee...
lts: u r kidding me??.........hahahahaha
kx: i was dying and exploding inside....drools were pouring out from my corners of my lips...my head was turning left and right..back right and left....sansan knew i must get into her immediately or i would sure to nose bleed or suffer internal injury....soton was still slurping away deliciously at my pointy....shit to him!!...
sansan finally removed her translucent nightgown. the way she arched her back....aiyo....next she unwrapped a condom and held it within her thick lips mouth....
she went down there. her mouth opened wide and cupped into my stiff rod. when she arched back to hold back her long flowing tress..PRESTO!! the raincoat had already covered over my steaming hot rod!....can u imagine that?...sar...sar....!!
a gentle smack over my cheek, lts: what...what???....sorry...ur far fetch description put me in a daze spell!!...then what?
kx: she looked at me bitchily. down her mouth went again. sucking hard...rolling her moist warm tongue over the hot ice cream. she licked....and licked....from the base of my balls up wards and swallowed it whole and continued sucking....
by the time i knew it, soton was already naked. oh shit!! red thongs!!! yucks!!...puui...puui....
lts: huh?...another red??...serious or not??
kx: ya lah...ur red undies cult is wide spread now ..u din know meh?...where was i?....now sansan had slipped her warm moist pussy over my screaming hound...oh..oh..oh!! the pussy fully ate the hound. she groaned and moaned....i groaned and moaned...
suddenly, my legs were lifted...oh my god!! soton lifted my legs. in he thrust....yeow...yeow..ouch..ouch!!! i screamed...she screamed even louder...
something wriggling inside me.....soton's sparepart was hot inside my arse!! oh shit!! a threesome..a bloody messy threesome...i was daze...the feeling was confusingly exhilarating....i was really really daze...
i was furiosly rode on...front and back.....soton rocked me hard. sansan also rocked me even harder. finally we exploded simultaneously!!!
...booohoohooo...i exploded. sansan exploded...and fuck!! someone exploded raw into my butthole!!...boohoohoo...
lts: dun cry lah, caixim...u love it right?...is that why soton now dun respond to both of our calls?....
kx, wiping his last tear: i dunno...dun ask me...i m his ... *blush* man now....why u think he gave me $200 for nothing?...he gave sansan $150. he gave me $200....so u say lor
lts: huh??...i say?...say what?
yeah!...what to say??...THE END LIAO LOR!....;9)

the pink discovery!!

GREATEST GREAT GRANDMA!!!...

GREATEST GREAT GRANDMA!!!...

oh great grandmama!!!....i was shocked....i stoomped...i fell back and sat on my fat bum!!!... down i fell again!! my long legs kicked another luggage....
u see hor...i din rummage his belongings...i was stoomped!...i only fell back and sat on my fat bum!!!... my long legs kicked those luggage unintentionally....and more things were exposed.
this time, a shiny blue piece of funny looking fell out of his opened luggage. and it was an undies...a lady one i presumed. it was a psychedelic blue...very shiny...very unusual material...very see through.
i held it up against the window light. oh my dead grandmama!! there were stains at the erogenous area...big patch stain!
no...i din fell back this time. my bums was getting bruised u know for felling too many times on it.
i was stoomped..stunned..and steamed!! and the mari kita was still singing!
what in the world was my weird FT IT tenant doing?....what could he be doing back home???....
any clues....anyone???

PART 3: GREATER DISCOVERY!!! OH GRANDMAMA!!!

GREATER DISCOVERY!!! OH GRANDMAMA!!!

oh great grandmama!!!....i was shocked....i stoomped...i fell back and sat on my fat bum!!! (i just have to rap this again. it's so rhythmic and well...cool!)
it knocked over another luggage. now again:
oh great grandmama!!!....i was shocked....i stoomped...i fell back and sat on my fat bum!!!
exposed beneath that bag...was....was...a lacy pink translucent panties...i mean the one a pussy used...not a hound would wear!! my hand swept and was about to get up...oh my god!!...i grabbed a pinkie lacy bras!!!
my weird FT IT tenant was a young growing boy...what were all these bras and panties in his room??..and sexy see through pinkie some more??..why??...why?...
i was devastated! i treated him like a long lost son.....and now...oh great grandmama!!!....i was shocked....i stoomped...i fell back and sat on my fat bum!!!... down i fell again!! my long legs kicked another luggage....
and yes...GREATEST GREAT GRANDMA!!!...another discovery!!!
dun ask is there anymore ...no more..this is the last!...stay tuned to find out what...;9)

PAGE 2: GREAT DISCOVERY! OH MAMA!!!

GREAT DISCOVERY! OH MAMA!!!

i just gotta to unzip the side of the haversack and see what was in there. again, my mind said no...my fingers already unzipped liao...;9(
oh great mama!!! vcds...a few pieces of it...and *censored..* all XXX+X rated......the pictures on the covers were already making me singing the mari kita! yes, i can erect..so dun pray pray!!
wow! girls from bangcock...girls from japuss...girls from kockrea..my god!! wait what's this...AMERICAN BEEFSTEAKS...what the hell was that??...food? beefsteaks?? wow, the last one really got me excited...FOOD...GLORIOUS BEEF...I JUST LOVE BEEF..american ones some more...;9)
i zipped it back. my mouth was drooling about beefs....a globulus dripped onto the floor. i quickly tried to mopped it with a tissue. a luggage toppled.
oh great grandmama!!!....i was shocked....i stoomped...i fell back and sat on my fat bum!!!
....er..nice rhyming hor...hahahaha...stay tuned!!...the next out of this world discovery!!

MY TENANTS WEARS BRAS AND LACY PANTIES!!!

oh brother!
this cny is one weird and zany one with even strangest discovery.
as everyone knows i got a weird FT IT tenant staying in my next room, i got a shock...a rather kaypoh and pleasant one.
he was suppose to be back on the scheduled date but checked in only 2 days later. why?
last sunday morning, he was back. it was funny! his room door was ajar but he wasn't around. all his clothings and bags were thrown messily all over.
now where the hell could he be at 7am? he rarely left his door opened cos he was a very secretive person. his action was like secret agent TOM CRUISE in MISSION IMPOSSIBLE.
fast, accurate and deadly!
so where could he be? my curiosity bugs were itching me all over. i got to enter to see what was in his room...very rare chance, u know!
my mind said no...but my legs already went in...haahaaa...;9)
wow! so many clothings strewn everywhere. goodie! luggage bags opened! haversack bag....nothing...wait..whats that hard hard feeling my fingers just touched???...
..stay tuned to the great discovery!!!

GONE.....MONSTER PIGGY GONE....

GONE.....MONSTER PIGGY GONE....

next morning, i was back at the ward as usual. i went check patient.
the monster piggy was still there. yes, still in coma. i felt was filled with sympathy for him. he wasn't very old but definitely was very rich. all those gold and valuables i stripped from him..must some kind of TOWKAY or what.
and now.....look at him - one almost dead monster piggy!
oh shit!!...oh great!! his humongous butt was sitting on a big puddle of urine. what the hell the night duty nurse was doing?...or did monster piggy time his pee just for me?
bo bian!! cleaned lor! lucky a plastic sheet was placed below if not hell man...me even had to change the bedsheet. as could be seen, being a missy was worst than a filipino maid!
we were more like personal shit and pee maid.....;9(
i dried bath him. it was really tedious for my early morning routine. after the turning and tossing him for the body mopping, my back began to strain and ache.....;9( he really took up most of my morning time...just one monster piggy, i was already half dead after the cleaning process.
this freaky piggy was also an oily monster. so much ter yue exuded from his pores...and those thick flabs of meat overlapping his bosom, tummy and limbs...my god!
phew!! done....finally done with him! time for my coffee break......
i turned only, he regurgitated some milky fluid which was feeding through his nostril. oh shit!! here i go again....dry cleaning...and there went my coffee break.....

the motherly matron came to me when i was about done cleaning the monster piggy.
m m: tahsar, u did a wonderful job on this monster! *big smile*....his condition is really serious and bad. we gotta transfer him now to TAN TOCK SENG intensive care.....so here are his medical files...since u ve serviced him, u accompanied him with the ambulance to TTSH, ok...
lts: huh??....ok lor.... *sulking*
after calling all the 'artillery' available in the ward, we strenously lifted this monster onto the nearby trolley. i covered him with a white sheet. he was totally naked u know. due to his size, the bedsheet barely covered fully.
can u imagine: with the whole sheet covered over, and u could still still the lumpy fat thigh. it's like the sheet only covered from his tummy to his ankle....;9) and only half of his supined body
bo bian, i wheeled him to the waiting ambulance. along the way, a sudden gust of wind blew. the white sheet was blown flying like a kite. oh shit!! INDECENT EXPOSURE of the monster piggy...so so embarrasing! luckily his snake wasn't an anaconda. it was a limping tiny worm quite hidden inside his folds of fats.
desperately i chased after the accursed flying sheet. managed to catch it and hurry back to cover him. doubling my speed, i wheeled him to the ambulance van through a throng of uncontrolled embarrassing laughter....i never blushed so much in my life!
luckily trolley was designed with retractable wheels, if not me would sure to snap my aching back transferring monster piggy!
even inside the van, this monster piggy had already filled up most of the space. i got to squeeze in. goodness! body contact with this oily ter!!...so fucking irritating!! i could hardly move!
about 20 minutes of tortorous ride in a cramped sardine piggy van, the ambulance finally reached TTSH.
unloaded and wheel him to the reporting nurse's station. handled over everything - his medical files and all his valuables of gold etc, my chore and mission accomplished. time to head back to the waiting ambulance to return to the deadman's ward called BOWYER'S WARD.....to wait for my next sadistic torturing assignment.....
while in the ambulance, i suddenly was overwhelmed by the feeling of compassion...i was silently weeping for the monster piggy....and sincerely hoping he would pull through even though he had in his unconscious state sadistised this poor male missy.
i realized.....what's the point of his big gold necklace, his huge centipede size bracelets, his deep greened jaded rings....all his $1000 bills...etc....what could all those help him now?
NOTHING!....even if he did recover which i really hope so too, he might be physically paralysed. he was down with a serious stroke...and at his young age, i really hate to think how he was going to handle his days to follow....
there was nothing much i could do...but just did a silent prayer that GOD would be will him and had mercy with him....amen!
not long after this, i quit my post. hell! i got to give in my immediate resignation cos i was accepted into my horticulture training. i was told to refund a month's pay since i din give the hospital advance notice of 1 mth. for that suffering month, i actually got no pay cos i had to refund one month's pay. i actually worked for free for my most suffering month......;9(
i could have waited another month but i dreaded cos i won't be put in ward duties anymore. for that month, i would be transferred to be a 'MODEL PATIENT' to be practised as live model patient by nurses on training or undergoing practical tests. those sadistic horny missies sure would want private anatomy lessons on my most senstive parts....then those merciless poking through all the orifices in my body, the blood sample taking with needles, the saline injection, the flatus tubes..etc...
no way man!! thanks!...no way!!...i paid the bloody hospital one pay's month and it was good bye and good luck!
motherly matron was reluctant to see me go. she told me to stay put as she got confident in me i would make a super male missy. this was what i replied to her..
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, MA'AM!....u r so so kind..but if i stay hor, the next patient would be my turn!
my weight had dropped drastically while being a male missy. it was like 57kg. i had never hit that kind of 'slimness' before since secondary school days. this was my best slim record!
i couldn't eat properly..couldn't sleep peacefully...and worst couldn't even have a good shit!! u stood whole day in the wards...on ur toe running here and here....all ur shits were constipated....;9( . when i tried to shit, it was really a damn damn suffering duration for me.
should i stay on, i surely would be left a pile of bones and skin, too!
...with this, ends my missy stories. what do u think of my MALE MISSY DAYS?

THE MONSTROUS PIGGY

the monstrous pig in coma.....another torturous ward adventure....the cold monster swine and all his gold.....(i think this swine was one dead pig in the end...poor piggy)
this is the final part of DAYS OF THE MALE MISSY.
there are many other little gap fillers stories....on and off, i may just put it up.
this one finally awaken me to the raw truth of LIFE and what's LIFE is all about...
LIFE'S VERY FRAGILE....this i just learnt from my DAYS OF MALE MISSY.....it's unpredictable. one moment, one maybe happy laughing, eating or bonking...and the next he's in coma or drop dead or forgets to wake up from his permanent slumber....
and so...MAN PROPOSE; HEAVEN DISPOSE.....
so while we are alive and kicking, try to do more good. be compassionate. be happy and joyous that u r healthy and alive.
DON'T U EVER THINK OF DEATH....even when one is near to it or inflicted by terminal diseases, we must perserve our optimism in living.
EVERYONE MUST FILL THEIR LIFE IN HOPE AND FAITH IN OUR LOVING LIVING GOD, then living is made so much easier to bear.
so take care everyone ...ur life...ur health...for YOUR BODY IS THE TEMPLE OF CHRIST WE MUST ALL TRY TO CHERISH IT....
ornitoufo and amen!......;9)
stay tuned....final story coming up soon in a window nearest to u......;9)
THE MONSTROUS PIGGY

another peaceful day for me in the ward. it was too early to be feeling complacent.
i was having my morning break in the pantry. then emergency! ah amah called me to get back to the ward on the double.
wheeled in was a big monstrous ...er...pig! it was a huge guy. he seemed to be out cold.
first thing to do was to transfer him from the trolley onto the bed. goodness! this one was a monstrous dead pig!! i alone couldn't bulge him. soon an army of all the amahs, sweepers and a couple of nurses were called to heave him onto the bed. it took like 8 persons including myself.
once he was on the bed, i was left to 'service' him. so...screened him for privacy. removed and recorded all his belongings.
1 wallet with...*eyes nearly popped* 10 pcs $1k notes , dunno how many pcs $50 and $100....all recorded and put in ziploc.
gold bracelet - 1 pc
gold necklace - 1 pc
gold jade ring - 3 pcs from both hands
montblanc pen - 2 pcs
rolex diamond studded watch - 1 pc
one gold buckle belt
well, almost all the valuables were kept in ziplocs and place with the chief nurse to take charge of it. then it was back to him for the dry cleaning.
while at the nurse station, i was told this monster suddenly fainted. no wonder! i thought how come so rich, he was pushed here to BOWYER'S (deadman) ward?
first thing first - dry cleaning time. stripped him totally naked. yes, undies also went!
after the cleaning done, an experience doctor had arrived and tend to him. it was screened with quite a number of young green housemen surrounding this 'big' doctor analysing this monster piggy's condition. i couldn't access so i went about my other chores.
when they were done with him, i was beckoned back to tend to this comatose piggy. goodness! what had they done to him!!??
all in drips, this poor piggy. drip on his hand. and another drip leading into his nostril. this was some kind of nutrient feed i was told.
this knock-out piggy vomitted. oh great!! dry cleaning time again.
he was such a big size turning him was really strenous. when i was done with him which really took me lots of sweat and time due to his monstrous size, it was also time for me to go home.
i left......
....continue.....

GRAPPLE WITH THE BLACK COBRA

After i had strenuously turned and tossed this hairy deadmeat and fully cleaned him up spick and span, he vomitted.
wtf!!
bo bian. went to get 2 pails of water and repeated.
my uniform was quite drenched from the chore. finally he was cleaned again. just as i was about to clear everything, he peed. the bastard black hairy mamak peed!!
i quickly placed the towel there to prevent it from wetting his bed. wow lau!!! niagra fall pee!! so another towel was thrown in to absorb the big flood.
and what to do?....well, what would a power poor male missy do? clean lor...what else? cleaned him all over again. hell!! his alcoholic pee stank like dunno what......;9(
his balls and rods were soaked with stinking pee. bo bian....got to grab, lift, soap and wipe. this mamak sure was enjoying his black out time sadistising this poor male missy.....;9(
hiazzz! i grabbed. l lifted. i soaped. i wiped. it lifted. it shook...it convulsed. it siffened...the bloody monstrous cobra suddenly spitted!!....it fired!!...it cummed all over my nurse's uniform.....great!! this was just great!! it was a direct hit with that full load cum shot. mati!! stinking hell!!...i m dead...i wished i was really dead then....;9(
frantically i wiped myself. guys...u know the embarrassment of cumming in ur undies, right? imagine ur uniform was perfumed by some stinking alcoholic mojo......;9(
grrr!! i was really fed up!! so i pinched him hard. since he was black mamak, i din think he knew that was a big patch of blue black on his inner thigh. and he was dead cold so he shouldn't be feeling any pain...but me was dying with embarrassment for the whole ....i smelled weird ...and er...'macho' with someone's mojo perfume......;9(
...end....
PS> THE next day, that hairy drunkard young indian wasn't around the ward anymore. most likely discharged or charged by police for publicly incapacitating himself. either fined or locked up....dun care...and dun bother....no more my jurisdiction once he was no longer in my ward...;9(

cum spitting indian cobra

the cum spitting black cobra of a drunken keleng....this one will freak everyone out!!!...how he manhandled this bloody monstrous snake and it's stinking cum!
next change....coming to the nearest window to u. WARNING: R(A) 18+ RESTRICTION....certain epics maybe disturbing to the readers.....
STAY TUNED!!....FOR DAYS OF THE MALE MISSY....hahahaha...;9)

this one is the classic of my male missy days. but tolong tolong...please please....read and dun throw ur fire bombs.....me monk wannabe....NO SEX PLEASE from either sides......;9)
for those who haven't seen a real cum spitting black monstrous cobra...well, i m going to share with u this sexciting episode...
as usual, ur goon blurking male missy was doing his rounds of dry bathing again...yes, again. everyday. every morning. numerous times per day.....;9(
suddenly, in wheeled a dead indian by the matas (police). they gave me a dunno what form to sign. i blur blur signed it. the carcass was handled over to me. shit!
so i push the trolley to a vacant bed. pushed the dead carcass into the bed. and yes. how unlucky! he wasn't dead! he was drunk in stupor!....freaking stinking drunkard young hairy fat indian!
bo bian. like i said white, yellow ,brown or stinking hairy black...i still got to service them cos to me, they were humans. after screening him, stripped him bare. everything even his.... no shit!! no undies. good. saved me some effort!

shit!!..the gross shits!!...

12pm. lunches for patients.

ah pek took his congee.
12.30pm.
male missy o' me sprang into action. with vaseline, enema bullet suppository, gauzes in my steel dish, i approached ah pek.
lts: ah pek, pang sai hor.....terng kor ( take off trouser).
i enclosed him with roller curtain screens. stripped his pants down to the ankle. turned him on his side.
lts: ah pek, toot kar chng....(poke backside)...pang yo (insert medicine which was the suppository)....relax hor...ah pek....relax....breath in...breath out...yes...good boy!...in ...out....
i put on rubber glove, applied ample vaseline to my index finger. applied some onto his butthole and standby bullet suppository. with a swift gliding insertion, the suppository was all the way in.
plonk! i retrieved my index finger. and shit! the ah pek had sang his mari kita!!.......*blush*.
i left a bedpan under his butt.....and left to clear all the things and prepared for the next sample collection procedure.
12.45pm
returned with the stupid small circular container and that monster spatula or oversize ice cream stick.
i was masked now. HELL!! the stinking fucking stench!! i still could smell it the brown gruesome mass in the bedpan with all those equally yucky wiped tissues. sheesh!
the houseman was right though....;9( ....tiny worms, bloodied stool and dunno what other sickening nonsense inside there.
what to do? started digging lor!
the monster spatula was just to big for the round sample container. with my left hand holding onto the container, i slided over it with the digusting stinking abnoxious brown mass.
hell!..hell!...HELL! the shits were all over my left hand in between in my index and thumb.
finally the sample fully done, sealed and labelled. my left hand was messy with shits on the index and thumb. yuck!!
it was freaking stinky!!. i washed, scrubbed with soap and even PRINTOL ...but the sickening stench like still stuck to it!
1pm. lunchtime.
i ordered beefballs kuay teow. it smelled good. it looked good. but when i dig in, the balls looked like the poos sample. i couldn't stand it any more. off i headed for the toilet and puked my guts out!
that's it! no more lunch or food for now...*blech...blech!*....i only drank a cup of fruit juice and that was my only lunch for the day....
that conclude my shits and balls missy tale.....'9(

THE SHITS, THE MISSY AND THE BALLS

i thought it was going to be a lay back day. finally! but no! here come another lame idiotic yayapapaya houseman......
idiot h/man: male missy, come 'ere, pls...
gingerly, i hopped over to him.
i hm: this patient very jialat.....take urine sample. plug a urine sheath and to his dick. collect and record his daily urine discharge. ....next take this little container and this monster spatula....
me gong gong holding to a circular plastic container...the one they dispensed to u in gov pharmacy for pimple cream type and one monster wooden spatula. it was like an ice cream stick for those who dunno what's that. but it's bigger and wider ice cream stick.....;9(
i hm: pay attention, male missy!....i give this bullet (anal enema suppository). i want u to insert this into this old patient here as far as ur finger can go after his lunch.....when he shits, use this spatula and dig the best part of the shits into this sample container. bring them to lab for testing....u got it, male missy?
best part of the shits?? yes, best part! means the part that contained the most nonsense like worms, blood, funny dunno what ...etc.
the way he called me...male missy head...male missy tail was like secretly insulting me like that.....;9(
what to do stupig locter or rather blur houseman's order, got to follow cos houseman or docter was still higher hierachy than male missy.....;9(

first thing first - dry bathing.

lts: ah pek, chang aid (bathing)
oldman smiled his toothless grin at me. undressed him...yes. stripped him fully naked. rubbed soapy water all over his face. rinsed. cleaned with another moist towel over his face...next his right arm, left arm. chest n abdomen.the right leg. the left leg. and that 2 parts -the dick n ball and the butthole. what the heck!! cleaned too!!
oldman was exhilirated. he smiled even brighter while i was cleaning 'there'. finally all done spick and span. powdered him with talc. under normal circumstances, my dry cleaning session was done but this ah pek was given order from the idiotic houseman to take both urine and shit sample...jialat!! ordeals began .....
lts: ah pek, i m going to put this lanjiao long(condom) over ur kukujiao(dick)...u pan jiao(urinate) ok....i collect jiao(urine) sample...good boy..... hor!
oldman smiled brightest. basket!! like he loved me to touch there!
so unrolled the condom shealth with a tube leading to a plastic calibrated bag. gently, i unrolled the condom into his limp kukujiao.
good! it fitted snuggly. half of the mission accomplished. soon it was breakfast time for the patients. ah pek ate his breakfast too.
i came to check his pulse and temperature. good! oldman was doing fine. wait! what was that!! oh shit! he removed the condom sheath from his cock. hell!! me got to fit that back again.
screened him up. stripped and rolled the sheath back onto his limpy dick. oldman gave me a horny smile. sheesh!! this was creepy!
i just walked away a few step, and he pulled the sheath out from his dick again. this bloody old man was really getting onto my nerve.
lts shouted: ah pek!! u dun be naughty hor....( show him my scissor) ...if not i snip snip it off ok....(frowning i went to screen him again and put that sheath back to his member).
so glad god gave me a quick witted mind. i cut a big plaster and pasted the sheath onto his sparse pubic hair. let see how he was going to tug it off this time...hahahaha...;9) job done this time!
......continue...

THE HAUNTING BEGAN...

After i was back from my break, a group of people had gathered at the ward. old ladies, young men, chiobus, lau sohs, teenagers and tiny tots.....so many.
they were singing the orchestra. a few really old aunties were banging the metallic cabinets. all were sad and wailing at the top of their voices...in unison like singing the opera......;9(
i went closer to peek at the dead old man. he was handsome. yes....i meant the senior nurse must had given him a last of rite. she makeup for him and ....well, he was handsome!
he looked tranquil and peacefully sleeping like that. his cheeks were pancaked rosy and a tinge of rosy lipstick lips....oh what was i thinking??...HE WAS COLD DEAD!! and i thought the silly houseman saved him and he was dozing....shit!
i went on with my chores. the opera singing was still orchestrating even louder....and my heart sank even deeper!........;9(
in the end, the dead old man was placed on a trolley with a metallic arch cover and wheeled away, presuambly to the mortuary or to a waiting hearse to send him to a coffin shop.....;9(

the same day, i returned home heavy hearted. i skipped even dinner when mamalee cooked most of my favorite dish like sweet sour pork, prawn tempura, oyster sauced kai lan and ter tor soup (piggy stomach)...shiok! but i just didn't have the appetite.
i showered. after that drank a cup of milk and hit the deck.....
"MISSY....missy....i very suffering....missy...." a voiced rang out in the middle of the night. i saw the dead old man infront of me beside my bed waving. suddenly his eyes flipped and turned white..
"ahhhhhhh........!!! help.........!!!" I yelled and awoke. my pillow was soaked with sweat. it was a terrible night mare. i couldn't sleep after that...in fact i couldn't sleep for a whole week. i couldn't sleep soundly. this terrible moaning and wailing would suddenly startled and woke me up suddenly......;9(
i went to the siamese temple which was just opposite sgh on a higher slope. i went there to pray and beg for forgiveness. i din cause the death of the old man, did i?
a kindly siamese monk beckoned me towards him. he instructed me to kneel infront of him and he blessed me by sprinkling some holy water.
whether it was spiritual or what, somehow i felt a big load was lifted from my chest. in a happier condition, i returned to the ward.
this ended my most terrifying -whether self imposed or guilt imposed or maybe real spiritual encounter of my missy days.


next the stupid dupid houseman (blur dr in training)....and his saboing of our male missy....MALE MISSY GO DIG SHIT SAMPLES!!.....

THE SHITS, THE MISSY AND THE BALLS...

next change on the window nearest to u..stay tuned...
have u tried eating balls..whatever balls beside those in between the legs...and the only thing that appear in ur mind is SHITS!!??

THE HAUNTING EYEWHITE LAUHAN

i shall start this haunting story about an old man who died in my hand....sad....up till today i still considered myself the 'cause' of his death...or am i??

THE HAUNTING EYEWHITE LAUHAN

it was another hectic morning in the bowyer's deadman ward. from the moment i stepped into the ward, i was on my toe dry cleaning all the filthy old male patients.
"MISSY!!!" screamed a caustic old bastard. "pang sai!!!...quick...PANG SAI!!" oh shit! this midget idiot's shits were about to bomb out!
zoomed! i ran to the pantry and took the cold steel bedpan and hurry back to him. it wasn't a simple job u know. i some more had to ensure his 'privacy' when he was on that business. shit! i got to screen him with those linen screen on rollers enclosing his bed to form a screened cubicle and waited for him to finish his business.
this stinky caustic idiot old man - sorry i got to curse him - was really giving me hell in the morning!. dong..dong! and he was done. 2 gorli sai ( marble shits) in the bedpan. hell!! it stank like hell!! just like his size - midget and caustic. his shits - small gorli like and stank like dunno what!....;9(
barely had i stepped out of the ward to rid those accursed 'precious', he yelled again...."MISSY...MISSY!! COME BACK....SOME MORE COMING OUT!!!"...........
it was just hell for me! after that shitting torture was finally over, in came the nauseating blur like a sotong houseman. this yayapapaya doctor in training beside sadistising nurses, male missy especially was a know nut case doctor.
and soon, my next hell was commencing......;9(

PATIENT SHOULDN'T BE MOVED MEAN HE SHOULDN'T BE EVEN TOUCHED....

houseman: male missy, c'mon here!....
me hopped to the arrogant blurking houseman's side.
pointing a bedridden old man, houseman said, " please push this patient to the X RAY room. get lung radiated and x ray pics for me ..."
i looked the sign above this old patient: PATIENT MUST NOT BE MOVED.....i turned and looked at the houseman beckoning his attention to the warning of the sign.
houseman: dun be funny ok...just put him on a trolley and wheel him to the x ray room....u doctor or i locter, huh?
what was i suppose to do? he was the locter docter....;9(
after much heaving and pushing, i finally got this old man lying on the trolley. he was staring at me with wild eyes opened. i pushed him out of the ward towards the x ray room.
not far after exiting the ward, his mouth opened wider. he gasped for air. he hyperventilated. louder and louder was his gasping. suddenly, his eyes just flipped. no more black pupils. all white!!
eeeeeeeeks!!! code red!
immediately i pushed the trolley back to the ward and yelled: EMERGENCY DOCTOR....QUICK!! CODE RED!! PATIENT IN TROUBLE...EYES FLIPPED!!
without delay with the help of an amah, i gathered all my strength and carried him back onto his bed. the docter now was a stupid idiot locter. he panic! he was a nervous freak now!
after lying the old man, he took his pulse. NO PULSE!. look into his eyes....pupils missing!!! all whites!!
he hopped onto the bed. thighs spread out on the critical old patient's chest and applied CPR. the spring bed went up and down...down and up.
shit!! panic-stricken docter forgot to lay a bed-rest for effective CPR. u couldn't do cpr on a springy bed, for heaven's sake u stupid houseman!!
by the time he realised his stupidity, it was like past the critical 5 minutes. it was too late. the old patient was dead. kaput!! out cold....GONE...! ....;9(
i was stunned. i froze and stood there. stupedified! blank!.
a sudden gentle tap on my shoulder brought me back from the deep mind freeze. motherly matron consoled me, "it's alright, sar...dun take it too hard...it's life....if he has to go...he has to go...take it easy ok...u go for a short break ok...."
boy! did i need that break!!.....

...continue.....

DUN THINK OF DEATH WHEN U R ALIVE

when one is alive, think of living..how to live honestly and happily.
DUN THINK OF DEATH....
even when one is plagued by the prospect of death like terminal sickness, one must still be happy that one still got the time to living happily.
when u r really face with death.....then u will be sorry that while u r living, u din live. now that death has knocked on the door, it's too late to live.
and death itself has nothing to fear. it's another ticket to another trip in another realm.....
if u ve grasp ur compassion within u, rest assured, u will be guided by the LIGHT to the next journey.
FEAR itself is self imposed. it creates attachment which may make departure of the soul from the shell (ur body) difficult....and that's the saddest part. one suffers cos his soul cannot leave smoothly.....and all those around him suffer along with him...
ornitoufo....;9)
emptiness is form...form is emptiness......
the old patient that flipped eyewhites and haunt the male missy for nights.....how could he got the 'ghost' exorcised.....

when death comes, just say bye bye and go....so easily said, so difficult to be done.
which is why u see people who are already dying still refuse to let go. why? his earthly attachment is just to great. he just too attached to it to allow his soul to transmigrate to the other realm.
with FO ZHAI REN XIN or BUDDHA'S WITHIN ONE'S HEART, the incumbent understands....his tranquility and understanding accede to the the path that his time is up and that he has to 'check out' of the shell or body where his soul has been inhibiting for certain number of years.
that's why we can see why some people die, it's so easy. sleep and then he's gone. again some die very very painfully torturous death. he has to go through the long suffering painful whining process before finally he heaves his last breathe.
for the second type of death, just look at the stressed up saddened faces of those who r still living - his kins, relatives or good buddies. all those who love him, suffering silently along with him....why?
cos the incumbent didn't grasp the idea of death is a release of the soul to another realm....to another journey. whether it's exciting, pleasant or scary....well, if i could get back during one of this trip, i will FR everything to everyone to know.... hahahaha .....;9)
so again, WHILE LIVING, LIVE! DUN THINK OF DEATH. this will come eventually. when it does come, let ur soul departs smoothly...
ornitoufo.....;9)

THE HAUNTING....

THE HAUNTING....

the old patient that flipped eyewhites and haunt the male missy for nights.....how could he got the 'ghost' exorcised.....
COMING TO THE NEAREST WINDOW NEXT TO U....WATCH OUT FOR THE NEXT CHANGE.....;9)

when one is alive, think of living..how to live honestly and happily.

DUN THINK OF DEATH....

even when one is plagued by the prospect of death like terminal sickness, one must still be happy that one still got the time to living happily.
when u r really face with death.....then u will be sorry that while u r living, u din live. now that death has knocked on the door, it's too late to live.
and death itself has nothing to fear. it's another ticket to another trip in another realm.....
if u ve grasp ur compassion within u, rest assured, u will be guided by the LIGHT to the next journey.
FEAR itself is self imposed. it creates attachment which may make departure of the soul from the shell (ur body) difficult....and that's the saddest part. one suffers cos his soul cannot leave smoothly.....and all those around him suffer along with him...
ornitoufo....;9)
emptiness is form...form is emptiness......
the old patient that flipped eyewhites and haunt the male missy for nights.....how could he got the 'ghost' exorcised.....
i shall start this haunting story about an old man who died in my hand....sad....up till today i still considered myself the 'cause' of his death...or am i??
coming soon to the window nearest to u....stay tuned!!

- oo0oo -

when death comes, just say bye bye and go....so easily said, so difficult to be done.
which is why u see people who are already dying still refuse to let go. why? his earthly attachment is just to great. he just too attached to it to allow his soul to transmigrate to the other realm.

with FO ZHAI REN XIN or BUDDHA'S WITHIN ONE'S HEART, the incumbent understands....his tranquility and understanding accede to the the path that his time is up and that he has to 'check out' of the shell or body where his soul has been inhibiting for certain number of years.

that's why we can see why some people die, it's so easy. sleep and then he's gone. again some die very very painfully torturous death. he has to go through the long suffering painful whining process before finally he heaves his last breathe.
for the second type of death, just look at the stressed up saddened faces of those who r still living - his kins, relatives or good buddies. all those who love him, suffering silently along with him....why?

cos the incumbent didn't grasp the idea of death is a release of the soul to another realm....to another journey. whether it's exciting, pleasant or scary....well, if i could get back during one of this trip, i will FR everything to everyone to know.... hahahaha .....;9)
so again, WHILE LIVING, LIVE! DUN THINK OF DEATH. this will come eventually. when it does come, let ur soul departs smoothly...

ornitoufo.....;9)