THE SAGE OF BAN SIEW SAN CONTINUES...
i was at another post...http://forums.delphiforums.com/sammyboymod/messages
and someone replied on my kampong days....my kampong BAN SIEW SAN. It stirs up beautiful vivid memories which i will share with u now...

From: tohgoh 09:47
To: leetahsar 28 of 37

93688.28 in reply to 93688.10



Man shau san kampong. You from there?

From: leetahsar 10:02
To: tohgoh 29 of 37

93688.29 in reply to 93688.28

u definitely r not a hokien....ur hokien very chimp and slang.

BAN SIEW SAN....or HILL OF THE MILLION LONGEVITY...literally translated.

From: leetahsar 10:03
To: tohgoh 30 of 37

93688.30 in reply to 93688.28

oops...sorry...u r not talking in hokien...u jus spoken cantonese...sorry hor...this goon just waken up and haven't washed up yet....pai seh...;9)

From: tohgoh 10:11
To: leetahsar 31 of 37

93688.31 in reply to 93688.29

Yeah, you are right. Me Si Yup. There's cantonese living there at that times. But speak hokkien because surrounding majority are hokkien. My Mom in-herited the pai tee kong practise because in one of the years, she ask Tee kong for help and it did. It's has been some 50 years since, and she would prepare all the yummy fruits on the 8th days of every CNY without fail.

If you remember, there's one very old lady would climb up the hill and pray at the temple on-top of man shau shan virtually every morning. That's my Great grandma. Also, my uncle saw the Laughing buddha appearing at the stairways halfway up the temple.

The altar use to be my brothers favourite hang out. All the kids like them would be made to craw thru and under the altar table for good luck. Then people would buy the huge circular incense coil to hang at the temple. All those ah-soh would then distribute the goodies bag that contain sweet and cookies...:D Too bad, force to move when me 3 years old.

From: leetahsar 10:30
To: tohgoh 32 of 37

93688.32 in reply to 93688.31

u were neighbours to goddess of mercy is it? i mean u lived next to her house...i mean temple?

From: tohgoh 10:45
To: leetahsar 33 of 37

93688.33 in reply to 93688.32

Not very sure, me BB then leh. Should be behind, about 1 house away if I remember my brothers description correctly.


From: leetahsar 10:54
To: tohgoh 34 of 37

93688.34 in reply to 93688.33

meaning ur enjoyment of kampong wild life is quite limited and brief....cos when i was in like primary 6, the bulldozers came.....and my beautiful lovable ban siew san was no more....*sigh*.....:(

From: tohgoh 11:01
To: leetahsar 35 of 37

93688.35 in reply to 93688.34

But now also not bad there. All the 3 temples still there. One along Keppel road, and 2 on the hill. There's a CC next to Yeo Clans building. And those Point blocks are consider prime area leh. :D Ah...I remember my mum mention that she learn how to cook curry from our neighbours, a malay lady. Or maybe nonya? Hahahah....Then my elder sis would tell me which kopi stall she bring me for big bun, those stretch before the cinema (now a church). Last time big bun not like now. I remember it's as big as my head :-) There's lap cheong, pig intestine, pig stomach, fatty and juicy 3 layer pork, quail egg, mushroom, etc....

From: leetahsar 11:13
To: tohgoh 36 of 37

93688.36 in reply to 93688.35

yes..yes...THAt Cinema was called CIROS...i still remember.

when mamalee finished laying 5 of us siblings, lauhankoo used to bring us for chinese swordfighting flims usually starred wang yu or chen pei pei or both.

he always paid only 4 tickets for 7 of us. i would share my seat with carot lee and my 3 sisters would seat on one other seat...those were the days.....

and ticket only cost 50c for ground level seats. the upper or circle seat only $1.

and naughty rich kids who sat at circle seats always spat from above or threw all kind of funny rubbis down...usually peanut shells...unlucky carot - my ding dong brother - once even got a chewing gun thrown from above and stuck to his hair. in the end, mamalee got to snip a big turf off his crop leaving him with an awful exposed lobang on his scalp....hahahaha...;9)

From: leetahsar 11:25
To: tohgoh 37 of 37

93688.37 in reply to 93688.35

...i think u must had also tried my grandma - grannygirl in my UPHEAVAL OF LEETAHSAR - prawn noodles, nasi lemak...ice kachang....oh shit! i said this u sure know who i am now....

anyway, the stalls facing the church METHODIST CHURCH which is still there belonged to PSA....THE whole Market next to the church and the whole long stretch of 2 storeys houses facing the main road up to the TAMIL METHODIST CHURCH...the petrol kiosk...then S'PORE SOKA - however belongs to the church...

my shop was at one of the row there....if u go there now u will see the current "tourists butchering shop" in its place...u will see by the side a majestic royal palm and mango tree. u will also see a rambutan tree which i openly planted along the main wishart road....i was hoping to belanja everyone who would like to try its fruit....damn crunchy and sweet u know...a special breed i smuggled out from the then PPD or primary production dept farm in lim chu kang.

speaking of this bloody church, it conned my old man's business premises after he rented from them for more than 25 yrs...up till now i still can't believe a christian church is just as nasty or even worst then any other avaricious scheming landlord....so did the whole market of hawkers...THE WHOLE BUNCH ALSO KENA CONNED PAIN PAIN BY THIS CHURCH...

AND worst my old man's rented church premises was a property donated away by its former owner whose son one fine day dropped by and told me the whole story that his old man bought the place for only like 60K and it's FREEHOLD some more...and upstair and downstair....THOSE WERE REALLY THE GOOD OLD DAYS!

UPHEAVAL OF SIBEIKANG .....PART 2

AND NOW IT WAS CHINJIAGONG'S TURN......

was typing my bo liao net posting yesterday afteroon, suddenly the cellphone beeped...i pressed a key to see who was smsing me. oh my god! of all people....chinjiagong just smsed me and asked me to call her.

"hi ccg! whassup?" i asked.

"hello, tarshar is it?....did sibeikang said anything about that valentine's night karaoke?" ccg started her queries.

"ya...he told me before u two came out, u all were actually quarrelling over a silly bouquet of valentine day roses, right?" i asked back.

she was stunned. awkard silence. "i definitely dun want flowers that he also gave a similar bunch to his teetujia!"

"but why....u jealous? it was teetujia's birthday too u know? and both of them already knew each other way before sbk knows u..." , i explained like a know-all.

"but beside that, do u know that he has another girl....?"

"Huh?...what? another gf....OH MY GOD!" i was shocked. "u mean sbk is not two timing...but 3 timing....wah lau! he damn steady poon pee pee leh....!"

and she proceeded to pour all her upheavals to me...crying in between narration, and narrating in between asthmatic sobs....

all this while my mouth was opening bigger and bigger in sheer shock of the rolatoing of sbk.....i couldn't believe it...really. he was not only good...he was super!

and she cried, sobbed, yelled, shrieked frantically....and soon it was like 2 hours of sob opera just passed before my ears....:(

i couldn't stand it any longer cos my ears were already sweaty from all the incessants words, complainings, sobbings...etc...so i told ccg i had to stop as i was hungry and need to eat. conversation thus ended. heng ah!

LAUHANKOO'S BACK FROM THE LAND OF THE SPIDER SPIRITS....

yesterday was family day for my siblings. with the absence of lauhankoo who went to the land of the spider spirits namely china, mamalee was greatly inspired to cook up a storm.

we had fa cai dried oysters with braised mushrooms and chicken feet. popiahs. kong bah pao (stewed belly pork with pao), fish fritters, veggies, shiok soup, steamed promfet....and many more.

after we were dead stuffed, mamalee dug up hashima in red dates soup - a very expensive dessert. she told us she paid almost $50 for the hashima which were actually frogs' sperms. very nutritious. very good for the skin. makes u smooth and retards ageing....

and everyone thought that was about all. but no! out came fried banana fritters and her special niang gao which is a kind a polish rice gluey stuff that i skipped. very sticky to the teeth.....and really very gummy type which i didn't fancy.

but the gang of siblings was supping like anything...and suddenly....

LAUHANKOO stepped in....and the joy and fun turned tense.

he just returned from his sperm missile target practicing on his mei mei cheena spiders...and in china this time.

gayly, he unwrapped 2 packages of newspaper wrappings. guess what inside there?........ and guess what else he brought back?

......brought back 2 homongous pieces of roasted meat. everyone wondered how he managed to by-pass custom detection. goodness! means that terrorists could easily shore up here too....:(

then he opened up another packet of shredded greens and fried fish skins. mixed them together and he threw in 2 packets of funny looking...smelled weird watery dressings. then tossed the whole mess up and walloped with loud surpings....

the way he ate seem damn delicious. i tried too. my god! the shredded greens were actually green unripe mangoes. funny though, it wasn't sour, it was rather sweet and crunchy. eaten with those funny looking dressings and the fried fish skins, it really tasted wonderful!

and mamalee started yelling at me again. "Sar, u greedy ding dong piggy! ....dun u know that's what lauhankoo brought back one huh? if it's hexed, u will suffer and maybe die pain pain...!"

well, not dead yet and still hammering away at the keyboard to post u this....;9)

place cursor above blank space and click "open in another window"

HOW TO SAVOUR LIVE COCKROACHES

u forgot hor...me garang ex-kampong boy.

let me describe how u can savour a live cockroach. pay full attention now:

1. catch live cockroaches. put them in plasic bags

2. start charcoal fire

3. tone down fire.

4. grab firmly wriggly roach by its tummy.

5. with the other hand, twist it's head off. slowly pull it upwards. u see all the innards coming out. discard innards.

6. throw the by now quite dead headless carcass into glowing charcoal...and sniff....wow...shiok shiok aroma...;9)

7. flip carcass the other side. roast for another minute or two.

8. get chopstick and grab cooked roach...and savour..shiok!...just like crispy cuttlefish...

those who can't tahan what i just did, can go puke ur guts out!

benefit to body: no fats, no cholesterol...and free.....;9)

if cat and dog can be friends, why can't the american be a doll too?



and teletubbies become tali-tubbies

the next skyscrapper osama going to bomb?

DICKHEAD OSAMA BIN LADEN....the terrorist chief

href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7746/1900/1600/osama_bean.jpg">

and the british goon laughter terrorist, MR BEAN LADEN

THE CARTOON THAT STARTED ALL THE MUSLIMS NONSENSICAL VIOLENCE AND KILLINGS....WHAT A SHAME! :9(

href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7746/1900/1600/BUSHOSAMA.jpg">
IF BUSH AND OSAMA COULD BE LOVERS....HOW PEACEFUL THIS WORLD WOULD BE

THE CARTOON THAT STARTED ALL THE MUSLIMS NONSENSICAL VIOLENCE AND KILLINGS....WHAT A SHAME! :9(

ROAD RAGES IN SINKIELAND......ALL FOR NOTHING...
click this URL...and watch. dunno whether to laugh or cry after watching....very funny and very stupid....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJsk_iob-w0&search=singapore

LIZARDS CATCHING IN KAMPONG DAYS....

actually during kampong days, lizards catching was one of my favorite past time.

we used the main vein from the coconut leaf...after stripping of the leaf, u get the stick with very long fine thread ending. we tied the ending into a loop ...u know like the cowbody lasso...and tied a piece of cotton wool behind the loop.

then we sticked this self made gadget into the lobangs where the lizards dwell..u can feel the lizard eating and tugging at the cotton wool, then u give a swift pull. out came the lizard looped in the loop tightly struggling like a hooked fish..

next play with the lizard. we tied a thread round the lizard's neck...and pulled it along like a puppy...some sadistic children worst..broke their tail and see it wriggled frantically...

so fun...the joy of catching one hanging on ur coconut stick is priceless!

CROAKING, RINGING AND UPGRADING......

every fortnightly, i m suffering from the horrendous chicken slaughtering screams from the lau huay lians just below my block where there is anuseless opened air amphitheatre for all these old croakers.....who croak and shriek and screech for hours during the night with full blast stereos.

mental torture....as if this is not enough....sometime right in the middle of ur sound sleep, the bloody fire alarm in the nearby multi-storey carpark will kong off and ring incessantly for hours ....

this is upgrading....of course, lah...upgrade our suffering otherwise living here is really too peaceful and tranquil....:9(

before upgrading, i used to have lovely big shady raintrees. so cooling and a soothing sight. after upgrading all chopped chopped and planted with useless shadeless palms which always die due to beetles and diseases attack.

before upgrading, we ve carpark next to coffeeshop which was doing a roaring business. after, coffeeshop is dead ...and maybe should change into coffinshop. so many owners changed hands already and still can't survive even food is so cheap....eg. char siew with shou rou only $2..where can get? but still banked!

and the old carpark was turned into torturing amphitheatre...with scream croaking old chickens crowing every fortnight...can go crazy u know.

built multi-carpark in place of a once lovely spacious field where doggies can do their business and children ran, played football and flied kites...now stupid carpark sadistic fire alarm always torturing me in my sleep...and carpark is always quite bare and under utilised.

complained to the lame chay wai chuen, our hopeless mp....and scared the shits of him the last time he knocked on my doors....so embarrased i dun think he dares to come 100 ft near to my pigeonholes anymore...kena marked already...go anywhere but must die die siam leetahsar's 2 pigeonholes. if not sure kena bombed like hell from him like the last lau kwuee (embarrassing) encounter...hahahha....;9(

upgrading was so messy for 3yrs plus...and i din get my extra 80 sq ft room...if not i would ve 2 extra rooms to rent...and hell! i ve to pay for 2 stupid upgraded toilets which always spoilt....something like 3.5K each x 2

UPGRADING...WHAT A BRILLIANT CON JOB BY THE PAPS TO SUCK US DRY AGAIN!

;9(
tell u a real life joke story....my mum is also in the active croakers group. she told me already 2 deaths in her group.

the over enthusiastic croakers were so excited to sing...that when they hit the high stressful note, they actually kong off and literally dropped dead!

another lau auntie worst still....konged din die but not paralysed. she suffered a miserable debilitating stroke....and now in wheelchair and slur in her speech....poor auntie...:(

do u know that every week some old chaps will kong off here in my estate....there was once even damn super.....5 at one go....and there were like funerals everywhere for every 10 steps u walk...sheesh!...what a record breaking dark day here!
and yes! those boisterous tong tong ching are even worst....hours and hours even through the nights...MY GOD!

there was an even funnier incident. a old neighbour staying downstair of me konged off and nobody knew until his pigeonhole smelled....*eeeoh**

the next early morning, i got a bunch of 4 undertakers ah peks hammering my door. my irritated lauhankoo went to open it. the first thing that hit him was..."HERE WO LAN C BO?" (HERE GOT PEOPLE DIE IS IT?)

choy! choy! choy! my hankoo yelled at them....then a young guy came running to our doorstep. he apologised feverishly saying that the bunch of blur ah peks came to the wrong place...it should 6th floor not 9th floor...

damn jialat! and have me rolling in uncontrollable laughter at their goofiness...but my lanhankoo kept choying and choying behind them...cursing and swearing the daylight off those old blur goons....hahahaha...;9)

one of my reader was banned from the the forums i frequent...

i got a rather disquieting email for the otherwise teekee but good at heart kei75....already warned and hinted to him....and now it happens to him. he kena "banned". from what and who...he din say, and i m blurr what he means "he got banned." why?

so now i c n p - like i m damn good at this c n p action now :) - for u all to see. anyone can enlighten me on what may have happen to him?....like already missed him for all his teekeeness.....:(

This message from KEI75 is in reply to your message
"UPHEAVAL OF LEETAHSAR....." in Sammyboy.com's Alfresco Coffee Shop on Delphi
Forums.

To view this message in the context of the discussion,
visit http://forums.delphiforums.com/sammyboymod/messages/?msg=83628.1061

=======================Text of Reply=======================

Wah, Lee Tah Sar...u hor beri the kaypoh lah...nt that he din pay 4 his rent.
Hmm...anyway, if u still dunno, i'm now banned by that fucking asshole, nt that
i care anyway.
http://forums.delphiforums.com/sammyboymod/messages?msg=92937.111
if i'll 2 look 4 u, i'll know how 2 contact u.
2day is Valentine day, wish u n yr luv ones a pleasant occasion.
Regards

THE AUTO WANKER WITH VARIED SPEEDS

href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7746/1900/1600/30mdiamondbikini.jpg">
THE HOT BABE WHO COMES WITH 30M WORTH OF DIAMONDS
href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7746/1900/1600/animated-toilet-paper-washroom-humor-photos.gif">
THE AUTO LICKING TOILET PAPER...FOR THE HOUND AND FOR THE MOON WITH A HOLE AT THE SAME TIME....

WHAT A SINGLE DESPERATE MAN WANTS.....

THE PENIS ROCK

href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7746/1900/1600/penistree.jpg">
THE TREE WITH A PENIS TRUNK
href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7746/1900/1600/cockrock.jpg">
A HUGH HARD DICK...THAT'S WHAT WOMEN WANT.....

EVERYTHING ABOUT PENISES

this is my godson's jack russell, RUSSELL. he's in USA and so is his sinkiedog who went with him....and now also an American PR dog.

href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7746/1900/1600/cutepiggy.jpg">

this is the cute and greedy piggy leetahsar.....:)

UPHEAVAL OF SIBEIKANG....dunno what better describe him now

poor sibeikang. on valentine's day, it was suppose to be a romantic surprise he planned for weeks for the wifey chiajiagong. unexpectedly, it turned out worst than his worst nightmare....

one day before D DAY......sibeikang ordered roses for wifey. as he was busy the whole day, he was only free quite late after 10pm night. by then most florists closed shops and stopped orders already.

his other resort...E florists. he found one and contact and placed order through smses....unwary that behind his back chinchiagong was observing. suspicion filled her distorted mind. wild negative imaginations were running like strayed bullets blasting every rational thoughts and trust she had on sibeikang.

"who r u smsing?....sending love msgs to teetujia is it?" she asked sarcastically.

sibeikang was irritated and was about to answer her when his cellphone rang... he answered. chinjiagong snapped and her loud blast of stereos started blaring while sibeikang was talking over the phone.

it was the florist who called to confirm the order. that is to send a bouquet of roses to chinjiagong's work place the next day.

couldn't take it any longer at the disturbing stereos, sibeikang turned and shouted back at his menacing wifey.

"Can u shut the fuckup! i am talking to someone else not my teetujia!" he yelled at her. that din shut her up. in fact it made the stereos even louder and more intense.

"FUCK THE HELL URSELF! U ASSHOLE!" retaliated the wife.

without further words, sibeikang said to the receiver, "SORRY, I THINK I CANCEL ORDER...SORRY...." and hang up.

next he passed his mobile to his wife and asked her to scroll through who he was just talking too.

well, sibeikang wasn't lying. but wife wasn't going to apologise either...and then.......leetahsar's phone rang. MY GOD! 2 am in the morning...and here i go...."WHO THE FUCK IS THIS!!!?"....."Tahsar....sorry to call u so late....can u come out for a moment...i come fetch u now....."........

and that ladies and gents was my "panda" sleep poor sibeikang gave me as VALENTINE'S DAY present. one cute fat panda me with darkened ringed eyes on VALENTINE'S DAY.....:9(

.....to be cont'd ...coming soon to ur nearest pc......

valentine's night....where romances suppose to start...WRONG AGAIN!

ringggg....! my phone rang. and i just got back from the public pool. sorry no luck today. nothing to pick :(. and hell was i hungry after my laps of non stop swim.

goodie! sibeikang coming to pick me up for dinner. of course, it would be on him. dun forget he still otang (owes) me $40 from the supposedly "go dutch" timsum weeks ago.

and REVENGE TIME....wahahaha!....;9)

p ...ppp..p..pp! that would be him downstair. off i ran in my shorts and tees and slipper.

omg! another new mini austin. so cute this one! pearly pink with white top. and OMG! i tot he was going to pour all his weepy troubles on my shoulder and what's chinjiagong doing on the front seat. shit! means i got to squeeze my fat arse awkardly into the back. it was rather claustrophic. i felt like an oversize plump sardine squeeze into a tin can. :(

i beckoned to sibeikang. using my telepathic powers, i was sensing...FIREPOWER....6....AWKARDNESS.....10+....KAYPOHNES....exploding pretty soon....

but seriously i sensed tonnes of anger within chinjiagong...and tonnes of unexplained melancholic sadness and disappointment in sibeikang...like he was thinking...i should ve married teetujia and tonight i wouldn't have to spend a dime on the yao kwee(greedy piggy) leetahsar...shit! there goes another costly lobster for the piggy sar....hahahaha....

and yao kwee piggy was exactly what i was....if not then how...me damn hungry now u know after the vigorous swim. so this piggy ate with no bound held...but dun think shrewd sibeikang was throwing another lobster to feed this piggy.

he only threw a bowl of cheapskate congee. and worst, that cheapskate place was recommended by me....TENG CHAI CHOK (congee) only cost $2 with all the charpalangs thrown in. got fish slices, pork, fishcake, peanuts, cuttlefish, fishmaw...etc..etc..

FOODIE NOTE: TENG CHAI CHOK - An unique chok or congee originated from HK. it's suppose to be a staple snack for those bumboat rowers who venture to sea to fish. and whatever things they caught in their nets, they throw them into a big pot of bubbling congee...and hence the name TENG CHAI CHOK....teng chai in cantonese means little bumboat.

after the modest humble meal, sibeikang recommended to go for jalan jalan (walking) in chinatown. me...of course i had no opinion. if i were to be home, most likely posting bo liao threads and bored more forummers crazy pulling out their hairs by the roots....now u know why many guys are getting bald here....courtesy from reading and being tortured mentally by leetahsar's bo liao postings...hahahaha....

and walk and jalan we did. 3 goons like 3 stooges so freaking quiet. not a word from sibeikang. very weird. this is not the chatty jovial sibeikang i knew....it was like sibeikang's grandfather walking beside me whom i never knew....hahahaha...

soon we went into a mall. went up an escalator...and this place brought back beautiful memories for me. it used to be a pinballs arcade. too bad i killed all the pinballs and so the arcade folded up eventually...i mean how not bankrupt if i could play whole day with just maybe $2 token. and when they about to close, i still got plenty of credits games inside the machine....pai seh...that was how good i was then.

and now this place was converted into a KTV...karaoke. there my goodness! my bunch of newly adopted godchildren all down there waiting...er...for me??? on valentine's day??? wow lau! so sweet! felt like kissing everyone of them...:)

they had booked a big room and the whole bunch went in.

i din realise how degraded our karaoke had become. in the past there were dress codes to adhere to before entering. now anything u wear or didn't wear also ok and could be admitted.

imagined this chiopek in slippers, shorts and round ts just walked in yayapapaya and belted his lungs out...

sad is the kind of business now degraded into such a shameless state....and what did our paps gov brat?...the economy was improving...and better than expected...my ass!

so for the night, it was my night..and MY WAY.....one of the powered song i blasted till i think i cracked up the speakers.

and they encored me. ok lor! i continued with chinese medleys like su rui HOLD HANDS....and for my finale song...DANNY BOY and SOMETIMES WHEN WE TOUCH...

*applause...clap..clap..clap*

and in the corner of my eye, i noticed sibeikang was sulking expressionlessly while chinjiagong kept hogging the mike and screeched her chicken slaughtering mercies...no wonder the aircond felt so much colder....
it was 2 am in the morning. karaoke closing and the whole gang dispersed. so pai seh, they footed for my share in the bill. they said i deserved it cos i really entertained them with my powered songs.....pai seh.

sibeikang sent me back in his pinky mini.

wah lau! deadbeat and deadmeat man! almost 2.30am. was reading the newspaper briefly and shit! no! the phone rang.......

"hello, tahsar is it?" whispered a voice. it was sibeikang. "wow! u were great huh! like a damn quiet dog, u sat at one corner. but when u hit it....u really hit it man!...."

"aye...beikang...me wanna sleep oredi u know?" i replied sheepishly...."there's nothing wrong with u and chinjiagong what? how come u said both of u were clashing?"

"tahsar....i very thong khor (suffering)! bo bian! infront of those jokers must act macho and pretend loving....so far u r the only person who knows what's happening, u know...."

"simi meh? real or not?" i teased him devilishly.

"k...talk to u again, she's out of the toilet now...call u again tomorrow." hurriedly the phone was hung up.....
it was 2 am in the morning. karaoke closing and the whole gang dispersed. so pai seh, they footed for my share in the bill. they said i deserved it cos i really entertained them with my powered songs.....pai seh.

sibeikang sent me back in his pinky mini.

wah lau! deadbeat and deadmeat man! almost 2.30am. was reading the newspaper briefly and shit! no! the phone rang.......

"hello, tahsar is it?" whispered a voice. it was sibeikang. "wow! u were great huh! like a damn quiet dog, u sat at one corner. but when u hit it....u really hit it man!...."

"aye...beikang...me wanna sleep oredi u know?" i replied sheepishly...."there's nothing wrong with u and chinjiagong what? how come u said both of u were clashing?"

"tahsar....i very thong khor (suffering)! bo bian! infront of those jokers must act macho and pretend loving....so far u r the only person who knows what's happening, u know...."

"simi meh? real or not?" i teased him devilishly.

"k...talk to u again, she's out of the toilet now...call u again tomorrow." hurriedly the phone was hung up.....
next day, all were quiet. me happily posting bo liao threads again...about my undies picking which now progressed into swim trunks and goggles...hahahaha...just picked another branded one TYR.

then the phone rang....."tahsar, din go out..still writing ur bo liao posts is it?" sibeikang as usual. "how? yesterday peaceful right? u sent ur rose bouquet to wifey?" i asked.

"aiyah! tarsah, after she stereo me when i was talking to the florist, the feeling of giving her the flowers was dead man..." sbk explained dejectedly. "the bloody florist said cannot cancel order so in the end u know where i sent it to?"

"er...teetujia?"

"eh...how cum u know huh?"

"sibeikang, u r damn F stupid!! wtf in the world u sent the flowers to teetujia? ur backside is really itchy right?" i scolded incessantly.

"then how...i paid for the flowers with my card already, u know....not cheap leh...hundred plus ...and teetu after getting the flowers was so happy cos it was co-incidentally her birthday too...."

"u huh...damn damn stupid and asking for it from wifey again if she finds out. she's sure going to give u 18th floors of HELL!" i warned him. "u give the flowers to anyone lah...ur mum, ur auntie...or me also can....what the hell were u thinking....giving it to teetujia...the source of all ur misunderstanding?"

"aiyah, sar ...u free tonight or not?" he finally asked.

"sure...me retired what...free every night, afternoon and morning...why?"

"wanna to makan?...i belanja u..."

"free one...sure why not...u call me lor..." end of conversation...i was sniggering away. tarsah, tarsah....u greedy piggy...free food only...everything also can...but then again now i AM their official marriage counsellor what....let see...shall i order the lobster thermidor...or may i be greedier...i order the turf and surf, i.e lobster plus carpet beef...u know the one where they stuffed juicy oysters in between thick piece of mouth watering beef steak...heeheehee...;9)

MY WEIRD FT IT TENANT.....

this joker is very weird. after u read my story, pls help me to analyse what is he doing now...and could he maybe be a part time midnight cowboy?

he had changed to a new job in a public listed company barely 3 mths. suddenly, he was so relaxed and most of the time at home.

in the past 3 mths, he was always in a frenzy rush.....woke up at about 6am....and by 7 am, he was off to work in a heave.

now so so relaxed. slept so late and like taking things damn easy. when asked, he told me he was promoted and now company allocated him to do a programming project.

out of curiousty, one day while he was out, i checked his room. on his table, there was a letter from the IT school he was part timing.

it was the results slip from the exam he just took weeks ago....

COMPUTER PROGRAMMING - FAILED

MATHEMATICS -FAILED.......

as u can see, he failed in the main subject of his IT...computer programming.

then came past midnight when the clock struck 12, he was active again. he spent the entire day sleeping....and now when everyone about to sleep, he woke up. dressed in long sleeves stylo milo smart pants. sprayed himself with damn powderful perfumed dunno what cologne. took his laptop and a little briefcase and off he charbok only to be back like maybe 7 or 8 am the next morning...

strange, i was telling myself...what the hell is this young punk doing....CAN HE BE A MIDNIGHT COWBOY?

then a few days before cny, he told me company sent him to JB to do another project....and off he went. then eve of cny that was already 3 days he had left, he sms me telling me he would only be back until 11 Feb which was only 2 days ago. and yes he came back. the moment i saw him, i handshook him and greeted him HAPPY NEW YEAR....and he auto passed me the rental for this month. already like 11 days behind schedule.

yesterday being sunday, he was off again. this time to his nearby block where his sister, now a PR was staying with hubby and a newborn.

again kaypoh me asked him, what's he doing at the sis' place. he told me chitchatting cos long time no see her....

and then today, he told me he was staying put at sis' place as sis and hubby flew off to BALI for 3 days holidays. he gotta babysit the newborn....

my god! ain't this little young bugger fishy???

now with ur sherlock holmes deduction, what can he be up to?

for starter, i think he already got the boots from the company....and the late nights outing...can he be working as a midnight cowboy? a gigolo? a quack quack duckling???

tell me pls...i better start planning just in case.....

HORROR FINDS AT THE SWIMMING POOL TODAY

JUST Got back from the pool. i was merrily swimming away, then alamak, i farted. must be the remnants of yesterday temple's humongous veggie yusheng....bloob...bloob...bloob...big bubbles of farts surfacing out of the pool.

off i headed to the toilet which was also the changing and shower room....

when i proceeded to the cubicle to do my big business, i saw a towel covering...goodness, another branded undies, B.U.M.S. but my tummy couldn't stand any longer and hastily i went into the nearest cubicle and ermmmh...ermmmh...peeleepalah...peeleepalalah....everything discharged out...haizzzz!! what a relief! anyway i had done my laps already so exited the cubicle i headed for the shower cubicle next.

again i saw the towel covering the BUMS undies. out of curiousity, i approached and lifted the towel since i was the only joker in the big changing/shower toilet.

OH MY GOD!! shits stain undies.....*YUCKS*!!......i gotta a feeling must be some cheeky jokers from this forum who purposely left it there to wickedly entice me....the undies goon...:(

choy! damn suay! better shower quickly and buzz off.......but then at another far end bench, oh my goodness! a TYR black swimming shorts trunk...hmm....not bad L size......my size. good! it was clean and dry.....so i supped....i think i will give this to one of the indian FTs workers of my indian chief....:)

MTHLY EXPENDITURES OF LTS: (x 2 = 2 units pigeonholes)

tv license (giro n instalment) x 2........................$18

2 house phone......................................................20

phones subscription every 3 mths...........................50

handphone...no use by can't terminate....................21

broadband 45

PUB x 2 ...........................................................180

transport .....................60

swimming & locker..................................................20

grocery (seng ka liao) ...........................................200

4d n toto .....................................100

(but always kena this mth alone about 4k +)

property taxes x 2 instalment giro..............................20

miscellaneous....donations and charpalang..................50

TOTAL: $784

COMMISSION FROM INDIAN CHIEF: 500

EVERY MTH SHORTFALL: $284....

this mth blessing from heaven $4556

still got balance: $4727

dunno how and where kena lst prize $15000

last mth keep kena 4d...dunno how much.. 1000+

account balance: $20272

so safe for this year...and got spare to go long long

holidays. mostly likely to taiwan....can tahan if for at least 2yrs.....:9)

SHIT, PEE AND EVERYTHING FREE...
was in recluse in my toilet for almost an hour and ermmmh..and ermmmmmmh...and...peeleepalah....all eventually came out!

phui! what a relieve!.....must have eaten too much from yesterday temple buffet veggie meal....after makan ta pow home some more....no lah! they insisted i packet back....they did it for me giving me an EXTRA large veggie yusheng.....so the whole night with mamalee and my just returned IT FT tenant, we supped and supped....goodness! the veggie yusheng was humongous....better dun eat too much next time there....i think i ve given those temple lau aunties that i am really a PIGGY impression....hahahaha....;9). no wonder they are also giving me big big serving of food...and i pai seh to waste it....even though i can't swallow anymore...i will force all the food in. bad to waste temple food, what....

and this morning....so good...so refreshing .....ALL THE DAMN STINKING SHIT ALL EXPELLED....and here i am giving u the SHIT OF MY LIFE STORY....hahahha....;9)

wow!....the whole body never feels so much lighter....shiok!!

now ur shit story and question before i continue further.....:) into pee........and everything FREE.....;9)

hello...why all so shy n quiet? quick leh...if not i gotta to poo again....

and now for the PEE....

U know yusheng primarily is made up of all the roots veggies like carrot, raddish, turnip, seasoned ginger dyed in red, pickled mango, pomelo pulps, pickled young papayas, crushed peanuts, sesame seeds, fried crispy wanton skin, kumquat juice, lemon juice, preserved sweetened tong qua(winter melon).....what else? did i left out any vital ingredients....

oh ya shit! the yusheng or raw fish in tradition lou hei...but here in the temple we use a special kind of agar agar that has the texture of sliced fish....very QQ...very shioker than the real raw fish....and u won't get food poisoning or worms from ingesting it. riskier to eat the raw fish especially those that dunno caught from where one....easily contaminated and may harbor parasitic worms eggs that created havoc in ur digestive system once ingested.....that's why they said the japs are full of shit! due to the worms they consumed from the raw sushi or fishes or seafood...now u know why hor....:9)

back to our veggie. due to the usuage of raddish, u will be surpised when u PEE....cos the PEE is extra stinky! dun worry, it's the miracle works of the ingested raddish....

raddish suppose to clear and clean our system of toxins....they said if u got poison in ur blood, drink a cup of raddish *yuck, horrible like fuck!* juice....and ur poison will be neutralised...and if u take any medicine, avoid raddish - like chai tao kuey or fried raddish cake - cos it also neutralises the effect of the medicine u r taking.

so ur extra stinky pee is actually a riddance of toxicity built up in ur body...

and how many of u come to my temple yesterday?...din come, ur losses hor....don't say i din tell u hor...i did invite everyone of u...so how many responded?
\alamak...still no response!...me out of the toilet recluse the 2nd time...and all still so quiet...:(

u mean everyone having a good monday time is it...if that's the case....then i better close shop for today and go swimming....BO SENG LI!

i ve done with SHIT, PEE...and now for the EVERYTHING FREE.....:)

if u read until here...u already got everything free....if u came to my temple yesterday, well...u got free veggie food and free lou hei yusheng...

and if u read until here....i ve given u free recipe to next year yusheng meal...dun eat out, damn freaking expensive...can u imagine a bloody plate of cheapskate roots veggies and a few pieces of decaying raw fishes slices can cost like $60...the bloody avarice restauranters on this cny day brandished their bloodied parangs very sharp, u know....:(...u go makan...u kena chop chop until heads drop...hahaha....;(

so here's the free recipe for u...and the free benefit for eating veggie yusheng....u siam the parasitic worms eggs in the raw fish....

SO EAT GOOD, PLAY SAFE AND BE GENTLE TO YOUR BODY...

thank u...guess gotta end this bo liao thread...BO SENG LI...no response...SHIT!