....all eyes on her

finally reached hotel. there at the lobby, our gorgeous voluptuous and cheery dearie was sitting there sipping her whiskey coke. she sat on a high stool dressed in a tight exploding leather vest and matching black pants. three quarter of her humongous assets were bursting forth with firm full ripeness.

cba: hi, bob!!

we hugged and patted each other back. muak!...and a muak back to her.

got myself a kopi mocha. she got another whiskey. we chitchat....

me: girl! u look gorgeous as ever......(whisper into her ears): all the eyes of these guys here are on u, dearie...
she giggled covering her palm over her luscious lips.
cba: i m leaving tomorrow....i hope u can show me around in DESKER ROAD...
me: what?!! desker road...u kidding??!!
cba: no, dear....ejay and jacys done that before. but we were touring geylang whorehouses....my god!! the boys really were pro!! i would love to see those tranvestites before i go home. please....please.....
me, reluctantly: well.....if u wish too, ok...let's go!

desker road was just an alley away from NEWPARK HOTEL we arrived at a side lane where tables and chairs were laid out for diners. it was rather early. the akuas or transvestite there weren't really started work yet.

i suggested we had a drink there and catch up with old times. she agreed. soon an bangladeshi approached us to take order. i was sure he was looking at her glorious boobs while he was asking for our order.

dearie order a coke, i a teh C siew dai or less sugar.

shortly our drinks came. that bangladeshi was bold. he sat himself down on a chair next to cantbeassed....and well.., drooled!!

the naughty dearie winked at him. she opened her LOUIS VINTON bag and out she pulled a.......

cont'd....

piped boober of little india....arrival of cantbeassed

the voluptuous cantbeassed, the super boob from ozzieland.

bbbbb...bb...
sms beeped.
was having a field trip with the church members of my gardening class, hp read:
HI HONEY, I M HERE!! i m staying in NEWPARK HOTEL...meetup at 8pm tonite....c the new dearie :)
great!!
my botanic gardens trip with the church was ending. the whole gang was waiting for the church bus to send us back.
i hurried home, bathed and changed.
i put on my loveliest sensual perfume she loved. got a quick bite and off to meet her at her hotel.
orchard road was jammed pack. after that, serangoon road was another jammed pack with indians. traffic was a crawl. i was late......

cont'd.....

the whining taxi uncle

finally joe had done enough shopping for the day. he wanted to return to his company's condo here where he was putting up.

lts: let's take the bus, joe. it's 5pm now. peak hour....taxi very expensive.
joe: fuck it bob!! take the cab..take the cab...dun worry, i pay!
lts: fine with me, joe....but it's going to kill!

we were actually heading towards the bus stop. but joe thought i was bringing to some taxi stands...hahaha. anyway, a citycab taxi stopped for us. off we were going back to robertson quay where joe was staying.

lts to taxi uncle: er...'cuse me, now how much extra must pay huh?
t u: oh....$3, peak hour now....(pause and the whining started, shit!)...u know hor...actually i not beri like this peak hour charges la...but bo bian u know...the gabamen damn chow kang...do until like that...peak hour is also our very shiong hour....NO ONE WANNA TAKE U KNOW!!
lts: huh? got like that one meh??
t u: abathen!...u think peak hour good for us...NO!!!...damn damn bad. now all passengers go and hide. after peak hour that is from 8pm onwards ...all will come out to take cabs....3 hours we taxi drivers damn damn jialat and siong!!!

joe: bob, can u tell him to stop at hotel galleria?
lts: joe, u staying there?
joe: no....robertson blue..but it was quite remote and i always stop the cab at galleria and walk back from there.
lts: joe! u joking!! when u take a cab, u take right to the doorstep. if not we should ve taken the bus instead!
t u: ya lor...dun worry...i know where...ur singapoo pal is right u know....but hor....singapoo taxi is the cheapest in the world ..u know...and blah..blah..blah...(wow piang!! damn damn whining!!)

i must say, this taxi uncle sure knew his profession well. he took us the real shortest way. the taxi fare was only $4 including the peak charges it totalled up $7.

joe was certainly please cos he didn't need to walk this time from hotel galleria to his condo.

a day of pleasantries....

a day of pleasantries....
after his huff and puff of toxic nicotine, joe was alive again!

off we went into takashimaya to get his GNB perfume or GABANA & DOLCE (hope i got it right. i kept saying GABRA & DOUCHE).

well, the counter didn't have the 'classic' flavour joe was looking for. we came to a CLARINS. wow say!! i din know man is as hiao as women!!

MAN'S COSMETIC, facial care and all those.

there joe picked up a collection of what beard softener, eyebags cream, wrinkles cream, night creams and dunno what creams.

i shot eyes at the girl: any free gifts,my dear?
girl smiled: actually we do have...but u got to spend $150...but ur pal only buys about $145...not never mind i give u this exquisite travel bags...and on top of that ..since u so cute...i give u travel samplers...FREE..

and boy!! she really gave!!! so many like a dozen of it!!

joe wanted me to help him look for a special kind of vase which he wanted to use as a lampshade. well, we found it. guess how much it cost? $405!! for a metallic designer dunno what. it was made in italy and i think it's called ALESSOSI, designer stainless steel fruits holder.

i asked for service from the salesperson and realised what joe was interested was not a 'vase'. it was a fruits dryer. means u wash ur fruits put it inside this stainless steel designer receptable and let it dry through the leave-like porosity.

we stucked out our tongue...and well, forget about the whole matter.
up the escalator we went. wowlah!!

joe exclaimed: OH MOLTON BROWN!!!...oh my god!!

huh? what molten brown?? some kind of designer dried shits or what??

it was UK men's exquisite toiletries. a shower gel of dunno what YUAN ZHI ingredients cost $49!.

joe started grabbing whatever he liked off the shelves. he got black pepper moisturiser, coco de mer dunno what..and other dunno dunno what. the bill came to be - OH MY GOD!! $480!!.
i went into 'auntie' kind of bargaining. who cares about high class luxury products!!

LTS: miss, no discount one meh!!...my pal buys so much...no discount huh? ( shoot eyes and bolts of eletric current).
the sweet girl smiled: ok, lah....uncle (shit! uncle ...me uncle???) i got something for ur pal since he such a gorgeous hunk!

under the counter, she brought out small sample bottles of all those exquisite toiletries best used for travelling. so sweet!!

Next, she put it in a cute bag and tied a MOLTON BROWN grey ribbon.

sweet girl: uncle...(oh no! dun call me uncle, pleassssssse!!) i put all your pal's big bags small bags all i n one lagi bigger bag , want?
LTS: aiyo, girl u so sweet...of course want lah!!...thank you!
she neatly put in all the 2 topman's bags of shirts, the little bags of MOLTON BROWN toiletries into a really big and macho MB bag. to top the cake with a cherry, she even tied a bigger grey MB ribbon to the bigger MB bag.

wow!! what a service! joe was so please. i bet he wanted to give her a kiss...and boy!! he did peck her!

she giggled: hehehe...come again sirs...have a nice day!! oh yes!! she really made our day!!
:D
...see shopping go with this auntie uncle sure got many benefits!!! and joe was just too please with my company and my friendliness with everyone i met.:p :)

finally, he puffed and he puffed....

smoking joe!
well, joe is a smoker. he brought his own china brand cigarettes.something funny happened.we were at starbucks, wisma after shopping at topman. joe dying for a puff. he went out of the exit near to a staircase. NO SMOKING. FINE $1000."FUCK!!" exclaimed joe, "the government here stinks!!" so back we went into starbuck to rest and have our branded kopi........more idiotic happening,



after having our branded expensive starbuck kopi and that sinfully rich chocolate hot cake, it was off to shopping again.we exit wisma, walked along the corridor and joe was still dying for a puff.

LTS: joe, u can smoke here now...go ahead.
joe: u sure, bob?....there's NO SMOKING on the wall...
LTS: joe, just smoke, ok. u see all those smokers puffing away? (there were quite a number guys and girls hanging around the tall rubbish bin, puffing like the end of day) i pointed them to joe.

joe crunched low. i was feeling weird and thought: WHAT THE HELL WAS JOE TRYING TO DO???...he slumped in a crouching manner and pulled out a cigarette. stuck it into his mouth, lit it and started puffing.

curiously, i asked: joe, what's that all about. u r like doing something sneaky. is that marijuana or grass or some drug spiked u having there?
joe: shhhhh! bob. u want me to be arrested is it??!!
LTS: what?!! it's grass??!!
joe: no, bob!! (he was frowning). i bought my own cigarettes from beijing. isn't it illegal??
LTS: hahahaha...joe ...joe..where the hell u heard that from??

i think u r allowed to bring in a pkt for ur own consumption.

joe: really?? they told me it is illegal. fuck!
LTS: ...so how many packets u brought in?
joe: one tube of 10 pkts...
LTS: WHAT!!!....

now that was illegal! is it??

arrival of beijing joe

was with my beijing pal shopping in wisma atria, tangs and orchard belt.
joe was a big spender. bought so many expensive perfumes from tangs which came to about $700! then to topman where he just swept about another few hundreds of Ts which were offer there.
and i just remembered. i asked the cashier to issue GST claims since joe was a tourist.
guess what?
if ur bill is from 100 - 199, claiming gst in this range shoult be said $7 for every $100 spend, right?
WRONG!!!
there is a SERVICE CHARGE. for that range mentioned it's $4 meaning instead of joe gettting $7 from the 7% gst claim, he will only get $3 instead.
and different amount of the bills incurred, the gst SERVICE CHARGES vary.
now is this a international CON JOB or not?
we are actually living up to the CON HUB of the world.....;9(
well, i told joe to complain to the gabramen about such silly practices. HE'S GOING TO DO IT WHEN HE RETURNS HOME!
and there were more funny things that tourists were misinformed....
continues......

TANTRIC, TABOO & PLAY

does anyone know these pubs?

TANTRIC
TABOO
PLAY

the next story i m going to share could be quite offensive to some. it's RA21 and with gayish content.

i m procrastinating should i go ahead with the story as my 'upheaval' with this beijing pal isn't over until sunday when he returns to beijing.

yes the 2nd visit of gorgeous joe. he was here last year coincidentally with the visit with choobeebee, my indo chiobu gf.

will i be able to matchmake bb with PT chiohunk?

ring...ring....ring....

LTS: hello..
bb: hi brooo!! it's bb....r u free, broooo?
lts: hi girl! u in town now?....sure...what's up?
bb: sorry brooo....me in hospital now..could u come to meet me...my mum is warded and would be going for surgery soon...i need someone to accompany me....*sniff...*
lts: ok...u wait for me ...shall be there in a jiffy...

ZOOMED!....was really there in a jiffy! caught a taxi immediately when i just walked out to the road.

she greeted me with opened arms when she saw me from the ward room. we warmly hugged.

bb: thanks broo...u r really fast!....my mum just wheeled into surgery room...shall we makan? i m starved....oh, this is my younger brother, AA

after a casual greeting, we went to the foodcourt at the ground floor for our lunch.

AA: siapa dia? (who's he)
lts: saya BOB...kawan of sibeipine....u know him right? (AA was surprised i understood MALAY)

wow!! AA's face turned very ugly.....

bb: hey, AA!..jangan marah!! dia orang biak!!...dia bukan machiam sbp...(AA! dun be mad!! he's good and not like sbp)

if u had followed my stories, sbp or sibeipine was the ex-bf of choo beebee. yes...the one who bashed her....sadly and regretfully.....;9(

AA: sorry...i hate a man who bash up woman...especially she is my sister!
lts: no problem...it's in the past already....let's forget it and move on. so AA what's ur job?
AA: oh...i singapore PR and operates a day care here...
lts: oh...really??!!
AA: ya...i married spg and lived here for a number of years already...
lts: oh...really??!!....wow!
bb chipped in: yes, brooo....all my brothers and another elder sister...all married except me...(face sulked. what's she hinting at??)

we continued to eat and chat. her mum wouldn't be out of the operating table for a good couple of hours. AA decided to go back to his work. he owned a big daycare cum kindagarten here in the east of sgp.

we took the mrt cos BB needed to put some money and opened a new bank account with DBS. she needed to cos the operation and the follow up treatment for her mum seem very tedious.
the operation was estimated to cost around 20K+, ward charges and medication and etc haven't added in yet.

lo and behold!!! guess who we met at STAMFORD WESTIN......

ordeals of poor choobeebee....:(

yes. she is back in town. not for shopping. definitely not flirting with me.
she's here with her sick mum who just undergone a major operation for removal of tumour. along with it , her ovary was also removed. the tumour created some complication to her colon and part of that had to be removed too.
SO LADIES, IF U R READING THIS:
PLS DO GO FOR PAP SMEAR OR WHATEVER TEST....
female problem can progess into such troublesome pain in the ass!....
so do have ur medical 'lady' checkup. i m advising all my sisters and mum included to go annually for such tests to prevent unforeseen suffering later.
story continues in www.stargazz.com

moral of my dead tienlor water snail...

i really cannot understand....why like that??

my last tienlor....i loved it very much. care for it. fed it with expensive water plants. it had grown quite large. yet it always tried to escape.once it went missing for weeks only to be found hidding inside a inverted pot. was so surprise it was still alive after i threw it back into the goldfish bowl.

after a couple of weeks it had fatten itself up, it crawled out again during the night. found it. threw it back. next day it crawled out again. this was its last escape cos it fell and cracked its shell....and that was the end of my last longest surviving tienlor.

i threw it back into tht goldfish bowl. it came out of its shell...but only one long feeler. it was liked waving goodbye to me and retrieved back into the shell never to come out again.a few hours later, the water smelled. the tienlor was dead...*sniff*...

it was finally dead!

why??

why did the tienlor choose freedom knowing that it couldn't survive outside this goldfish tank? still it escaped, fell, broke its shell and died....

why??

it does relate to our situation of serfs living in sinkieland. serfs are like my tienlor and sinkieland is like the goldfish bowl except serfs does not possess the dexterity of my escaping tienlor which yearned so much for freedom....even it means death to it.

oh...i love my demised tienlor...for its persistant spirit of freedom.

appearance of evil twin gms...

after attending to his buttcheek wounds which was brutally autographed and engraved by the lame FANTASICK 4, leeporter was downcasted. he hadn't got a comment to leeport. how?

BINGO!!

he spotted a fattie who appeared like none other the other ex WP GE candidate - GMS. all fired up again, leeporter rushed to interview him.

l: hi! u r GMS, right?
g: huh?....u want my autograph too??
l: no lah! what's wrong today??!! everyone's wanna give me his autographs!...
g: hehehehe....u cute mah..
l: can i ask u for ur comment on today BLACK silent protest?....
g: dunno...sssssshhhhhh!
l: what??
g: ...ssssssssshhhhhhhhh
l: WHAT???
g: sssssssssssshhhhhhhh....silent protest...so sssssssssshhhhhhhhh (gms whispered)
l: oh hell!! can i ve ur autograph then?!!
g: ok where do i sign?...ur white panties now looks like a RED UNDIES....
l: sign on my cherries then....or u want my grapeseeds??

G M S.....signed (xxx)

G on right grapeseed, S on left grapeseed. oh hold on!...where's the M?
oh!! the M was on leeporter's cherries.

the poor poor leeporter......

the infamous LCE angpow...

leeporter spotted one flowery attired guniang. he dropped something. he bent to pick...or to peek at some hotmama's undersized hotpants.
tapping on his shoulder, sotong was startled. he jerked. not between his legs but his head and banged sharply on the table as he erected himself...(opps!...i got to write that...sorry)
leeporter asked sotong after he had composed himself.

l: can ask u a few questions?
s: dun as me why i was bending down under the table..please....i dropped my balls and was searching for them.
l: huh?...no la...me jus wanna...ask..
s: oh...u want my autograph?? (he snapped in)
l: no...no...i ve enough of that!...can i ask u why r u here?
s: oh...dunno leh...gaylord gave edicts every fantasick lamer must come...so i come lor.
l: oic...so what is ur opinion or comment....any??
s: u want my autograph or not?...if not dun block me i radar at one mei mei behind u already....
l: huh? (turned back to see who he was looking at)
s: hmm...u not bad looker...$200 angpow for u....we go somewhere cosy...just drop pants i sign my autograph.
l: huh???...what autograph?? no more space...fully signed buttcheek liao!
s: u got lah...the frontal not touched yet...i sign there and give u $200 angpow....want...want?

leeporter fainted!...when he worked up. there was an angpow in his half zipped pants. yes! sotong had left his autograph there!!

L C E.....signed (sotong)

LCE...hmmm...leech, cheat and exploit. poor leeporter!! the poor poor guy!!!

kilroy was here!! B o B

the walking bag of bone turned invisible, leeporter saw a shortie plump turdy nerd...as usual in black. come to think of it, maybe that was the only black T he had.

l: hi...u look friendly...can ask u a few questions?
tn: huh?...u want my autograph now is it?
l: no la...how come everyone from ur fantasick 4 love to give autographs?
tn: is that ur first question?....ok let me analysis...by HILTERN LAWS of algerbraic calculation hor...forget it!....u want my autography...u look blank with mouth open!!
l: i m blank...can't u see i m foaming in my mouth?!!
tn: so u want or dun want my autograph??
l: right butt cheek signed, left signed. both cheeks bleeding...where to sign?
tn: no problem....(helped himself to undo leeporter's pant)...i sign on the centre....

B o B ...signed (xxx)

one b on the left cheek, o right in the bullseye and B on the right cheek!
poor ..poor leeporter!!...got a faked turdy nerd's signature and still got no comment!!

bleeding buttcheeks...

poor frustrated leeporter....nothing done. totally nothing to report on any comments. both his butt cheek were bruised. they signed very hard on his SWAN PANTIES! i think the signatures even engraved into both his butt cheeks.
his SWAN PANTIES was stained red besides the blue ink. poor leeporter!

no foto...no foto!!!

leeporter spotted a walking bag of bone.

gaylord was seated next to her. oh...so loving!...his arms over her shoulder. so romantic!

l: hi....u wifey of gaylord?
b: no lah...dun disturb leh...can't u see we r flirting?
l: sorry, doing my job...can ask u a few questions?
b: what? u want my autograph?...me hot mama...u want my autograph is it?
l: no lah...'cuse me for a while....( leeporter was puking his guts out!)....sorry...blurp!!..sorry again...why are u wearing black here?...u mourning is it?
b: u want my autograph??....no??
l: er...ok u answer my questions first i ask for ur autograph...can..can?
b: go to hell!...no foto..no foto!!! my husb will kill me if he sees me here!!!
l: ok...can answer now...sorry...but i think ur bag of bone won't appear in flim...no worry...
b: u want my autograph or not?
b: ok...bo bian...here sign on the other butt cheek of my SWAN PANTIES.

BONNY WASN'T HERE...signed (xxx)

get lost!...we are flirting!!

want my autograph?

leeporter to gaylord in CENTREPOINT black silent protest...

l: aren't u the famous ex wp candidate?

gl: wow, u recognise me...TQ!..want my autograph is it?
l: no la...can give us ur opinion for today activism?
gl: u dun want my autograph, then ask for fuck*!!??
(* gaylord's most favorite word and probably his favorite hobby too)
l: aiyo, just doing my job...say something so i can siew kang la...tolong....tolong...after that u give me ur autograph ...can?
gl: ay....dun like that leh...me here for silent protest hor...DUN GET ME INTO TROUBLE, ok...now FxxK off please!
l: ok lor...bo bian...give me u autograph then. can sign on my butt. me wearing white SWAN PANTIES...
gladly, gaylord signed on the pristine white cotton:

GAYLORD WAS HERE...signed (xxx)

u want my autograph??

if asked by leeporters, how'd u say?

leeporter: hello, u like living in sinkietown?
Pc: sure, why?
l: anything u like to comment...about the gabramen...the policy, the way of living...etc..
pc: i love the PAPS...i love pinkie le clown...
l: really? why?
pc: pinkie always stands behind us...we are always infront.
l: wow...that good?
pc: yes!... NO ONE IS LEFT BEHIND, what....that's why we are screwed...pain pain with his KY..
l: oops!...CENSORED!!!...CUT..."!~'#@&&^%...
so if the next leeporter were to ask u:
how u like ur cuntry
what would be ur reply?

GREENHAT LANTERN - the unwittingly pimp

greenhat lantern was the official superhusby of the invisible bitch. he gave her two cutie sweetie teletubbies kids. greenhat was too pre-occupied with his job. in his work, he had to entertain. he got to flirt. he met his match. he was flirted instead. seduced, he fell into the claws of SPIDERWOMAN or the teetujia from china....or simply the cheena mei mei.

invisible bitch was too petty to accept greenhat's rendevous. she decided to tic him for tat he gave to her. it was off to gaylord plastico's liar. she poured out her miseries and negligience. she already scheming. she already silently infatuated and fallen for gaylord.

the lonely gaylord was missing MISS MARVEL who was - as usual - flying and SIA-ing the skies. he too was a neglected lonely dick...i mean heart...whatever!.

when neglected lonely dick met another desperate thirsty pussyhole, u bet orgasmic fireworks flared!

and such convenience....invisible bitch happened to have a black SEXMOBILE APV. a press of the button, and it would be a nifty makeshift cosy bed.....

how long could this illicit love affair last?

not long. MISS MARVEL who was bestowed with psychic power had already sensed some pulsating vibrations. when gaylord got high, she could feel it....she orgasmed. she would feel the vibration that was hitting at her radar G-spot. she knew. she was already suspicious...she just needed to confirm the 3rd party.

back in the JUSTICE LEAGUE, greenhat lantern was looming and romancing with SPIDERWOMAN. he couldn't be bothered who the hell his official wifey invisibile bitch meeting what male strangers from the sleazy SAMMYBOY KOPITIAM. he was too busy with SPIDERWOMAN's teetu C or spider webs of passion and lust.

poor petite MISS MARVEL.....she found out....i found out...they found out....AND EVERYONE FOUND OUT!!!

continues......

GUN DOWN SIA FOR A BAG OF EVIL BONE

THIS is the story about the gaylord plastico who forsakes MISS MARVEL for the evil bag of bones, the undisputed expert in FLIRT & DESTROY invisible bitch.

MISS MARVEL was a mild manner air hostess. she was flying most of the time. in fact more than 75% she was in the air flying. MISS MARVEL flew alot. she was endowed with the power of flight.

poor gaylord! left alone most of the time fiddling himself with is plastico power. he could stretch it very big or shrink it very small. but his best trick would be to put it into his manhole! he was bored! alone. and very bored!!

one fine day, in his JUSTICE LEAGUE meeting, someone there intro a maiden bitch in faked distress. she seeked his help. eyes met. fireworks ensued!

what a weird encounter!! maiden bitch resembled exactly to MISS MARVEL. no need to say, she was flying...SIA-ing all over the globe.

maiden bitch revealed herself or rather became the invisible bitch. an illicit affair began.....her flirt and destroy went into full gear. gaylord fell into her clutches or was it her clutches were all over his groin??

stay tuned.....

LET THERE BE LIGHT!

LET THER BE LIGHT!

Light Is God

when there is LIGHT, there is GOD.

when they lost that, only darkness looms in their heartS. ask the lame FANTASICK 4 personally whether they are happy or suffering??

ask why do they need to hide themselves in darkness when pointing accusing fingers if they are in the LIGHT?

when will all this feuding childish nonsense stop?

THE CHOICE AND THE POWER IS IN YOU

- quote from the original SILVER SURFER