sure or not?? so many viewed??

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....i thought not even 2000 views ;9)

the sins of the father falls on the child ...

living with parents who are no longer treating each other with love and respect is indeed suffering. however, sometime the suffering is transferred to the most innocent victim. this is really very sad....

yesterday, my little nephew was here as usual every weekend. although he was about 6 years old, he got a very fiery and stubborn temper.

was watching the tv and suddenly he was hungry. he wanted biscuits. mamalee, the doting grandma, opened a box which she just bought. but the little brat refused. it wasn't his 'kind of brand'. gosh!! how choosy could he get!??

there sitting on the table was a plastic container of cookies. but these weren't fresh. they were left there by the bloody lauhanku, or the very selfish grandpa. u see, our hopeless grandpa had this tendency to store away nice fresh foodstuffs for his own consumption. when those were past the expiry dates, he would bring it out and leave it openly to let others to eat it unwary.

mamalee knew it. i didn't fancy cookies. so there we had this screaming tantrums throwing little brat. he reached for that expired cookies in the plastic container. he ate it. 2 pieces some more.

i asked mamalee, "aren't those the expired cookies the bloody lauhanku brought over from the other unit of the flat?" she answered yes. i was furious and asked her why didn't she discard it? she kept quiet....then she explained lamely: "if i were to throw away food, next life i won't have enough to eat." FAINT!! i was so angry. i took the container and threw it into the dustbin!

actually, i could read her mind. she was hoping that the weird IT FT tenant would eat it instead. whether he ate or not, i wouldn't know cos weird tenant was only active when i off all the lights and go to sleep.

lauhanku didn't want the cookies. neither did i not mamalee want to eat. yet mamalee did nothing even though she knew the biscuits weren't consumable. in the end, the innocent nephew-cum-grandson ended up being the unwitting consummer and victim of the expired biscuits.

sad isn't it?

in this family, the father (the bloody lauhanku) intended harm to the family, namely me and mamalee, never for one day he gave us any peace. in turn, mamalee intended and transferred the harm hopefully to the tenant who again was another 'innocent victim'.

but in the end, along came a more innocent victim - the grandson/nephew got hit. well, it was a tummy ache that followed and off to see a doctor which costed about $50...and all thanks to those wild expired biscuits left intentionally by the bloody lauhanku.

lauhanku sowed the sins. mamalee nurtured it. finally a totally innocent child harvested all the sufferings.

chui guo...chui guo...ornitoufo .....;9(

12 -15 JUNE, CHURCH CAMP

i joined a church camp from 12 - 15 june. i joined because it was complimentary. it's been quite a while since i could not afford any holidays now like last time i used to indulge.

it was a short trip to kuala lumpur, THE PALACE OF THE GOLDEN HORSE resot.

cousin peter would be bunking with me. his family was taking another adjoining room. in the end, i had the whole room to myself. peter bunked with his wife and 2 kids. the european cup was on. maybe he didn't wanna intrude my sleep. he rather intruded his family's instead. what a guy!

peter and i grew up from the same kampong. went to the same primary school in the same school bus. when we were resettled into hdb we remained as neighbours in opposite blocks. however, we were quite drifted apart unlike the kampong era until now - thanks to his church. after he married and shifted out, we even hardly communicated until now.

there wasn't much to write about the camp actually. it was rather boring. all the while was spent inside this sterile resort that has nothing much to offer. eat, listen to preaching and then sleep. that's what mainly the activities were all about.

it was only on a saturday afternoon, that we were brought either to SUNWAY LAGOON, MINES SHOPPING or KLCC where we could shop or eat for a couple of hours before it was back to more churchy matters.

6.15am i gotta be up cos. breakfast was 7.30pm. thanks to the hotel room's powerful desk alarm, i never failed to awake. i needed at least half an hour to poo. pai seh.....i also need to read the news, take my diabetic medication and morning tea. it's my morning routine.

at the camp, it was buffet breakfast. yep! in fact all meals were BUFFET! to think it took my the last 3 mths to lose about 3 kg, it was all coming back with vengeance!

the ambience there was friendly and congenial. i sat around with other participants who i barely knew. some of them knew me cos they were in either one of the church field trips which i undertook or from the gardening class. so yes, i acquainted with many but i think it would be quite embarrassing again when we meet cos i might not be able to recall their names. (in fact, i ve forgotten many names already ....;9(

unknown to me, i was very fortunate during one of the meals to sit next to PASTOR BENNY HO. i even joked with him and revealed that i was "much older than he" until the other diners at the table told me he was the preacher for the camp.

at the same table, was this lady, i think she was FLORENCE who introduced herself as a missionary worker in chiangmai. i felt she was a remarkable grandma still passionate in christian work to a foreign ulu place in mountainous chiangmai. she told me she needed expertise in gardening and hoped i could visit there. i was told there the church would be organising a trip there this DEC. well, like they say....i would await the 'will of God to lead me'.

the best happening during this church camp would be the ingenuinity of the organisers to arrange for a pickup load of durians driven up to this resort. everyone was thrilled and feasted on the very solid oomph! durians. it was a durians buffet!

one of the best thing, i learned from this camp was the atmosphere of love, care, concern, patience and friendliness of everyone displayed to each other. many had been touched by the HOLY SPIRIT and rightfully this retreat was named GE08 or God Encounter '08.

as for me, well, i was touched by one of the song AMAZING GRACE in an added version with a chorus that goes something like this:

my chain is loose...
i was set free..
the love of god
has come to me
the flood of fire....
has set me free
the love of god,
amazing grace...

(hope i got all the lyrics right)

the church would be fully upgraded in 2008. i hope my affinity with it would continue. it's my journey of spiritual discovery. i was a on/off church goer. i can't called myself a christian. now i m more into buddhism as it has enlightened and brightened up my life with more 'absolute' happiness. i m poor now and yet there is certain intrinsic joy in me which i didn't experience last time when i was many times richer running my garden business.

EMPTINESS IS FORM....FORM IS EMPTINESS...

this phrase is simple and yet complex. it contradicts itself yet if u think deeper, it seems to make alot of sense.

when i was rich, i tot i got happiness. but did it?
now that i was poor, i tot i would be sad. but am i?

when i was rich, i indulged. in the end i was blessed with diabetes.
now that i m poor, i realise the value of money. but strangely, i have never felt lighter in all my life with lesser attachments. when one feels light, he should be feeling a tinge of happiness.....;9)

a quote from the rinpoche in a buddhist seminar before i attended this church camp:

if you are a buddhist, u can still believe in other religion such as christianity, islam and etc....but once u become a christian or muslim, you shall not be allowed to indulge in buddhism.

what does that mean?

i think buddhism is accepting the nature of things as it is while many other religions fail to do that. maybe buddhism isn't a religion after all. it's a living philosophy to help us live harmoniously and happily with others. ornitoufo....;9)

wowsay!! did i write all those postings??

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/discuss-singapore/msearch?query=leetahsar&pos=10&cnt=10
someone actually collects my more interesting and controversial postings. when i went over it, i was quite pleasantly surprised and questioned myself:

DID I REALLY WRITE ALL THOSE?....;9)

jason is now a singapore PR

quite sometime that i updated my weird FT IT tenant who has been staying with me for almost 5 years.....

it was saturday. as usual, checked the letterboxes for my 2 units pigeonhole flats. as usual, bills abundant and another letter for jason, my tenant who should be 26 by now.

i stuck his mail onto his door held by the door knob. he was still asleep. he should be after frequent late TGIF (thank god it's friday) nights. click! the door opened. the letter landed on his feet which he sheepishly picked it up, tore it open and read the content.

"yeh...yeh...yahoo!!!..." jason suddenly went berserk and delirious. he was yelling and jumping up and down. my goodness! it was the first that i witnessed the missing child-liked in him. he was always brooding and acting cool beyond the maturity of his age.

"What's wrong?" i asked.

he was smiling and still jumping up and down with glee. "I got singapore PR!...i got singapore pr!!" he yelped

so?....what's so great about getting singapore PR?? many are leaving and giving up their singapore citizenship. strange!

well, i didn't say that to him but i was happy for him too seeing him glowing with so much delights. he had been very depressed the past few weeks and was really stressed by his works and personal matters.

a silver lining of the cloud, maybe.

i could tease him a little. "wow! so happy!" i exclaimed. "ya!! i can buy hdb flats now....really fantastic!!" he cheerfully replied.

ya right! hdb pigeonhole...u gotta be kidding!! yep! he's really oblivious that i didn't raise his rental after 5 yrs when the hdb room rates are now escalating like nobody's business. his room could easily fetch at least $500. but he is still having it at $300 per month. he should be happier having a landlord like me instead so free 3-in-1 coffee, instant noodles, fruits, milk, sugar-free fruit juices and etc..and yes all on the house....and lots of TLC, tender loving care...hahaha...;9)

PART 2

I told my pal not to feel so dejected. i got a plan to help him get a new phone FREE OF CHARGE.

i told him since this expensive phone he got was less than a month, it must be still under warranty. everything would be simple then. first of all, he got to open up the handphone casing and dry it with a hair dryer ...and yes - made sure that there wasn't any remnant poo in it. yucks! he should leave the handphone open so that any moisture would have evaporated.

a few days later, we met to go to singtel shop and banged table complaining that the phone was faulty. of course, singtel would oblige him with a free replacement. he was subscribed to quite an expensive telco plan.

true enough, singtel staff was very pleasant and obliging. my pal got a free replacement and the smile on his face was priceless!!.....and yes, i got a free humble treat from him - WEE NAM KEE CHICKEN RICE at balestier road.

later, i brought him to pray at NOVENA CHURCH which was opposite the chicken rice shop. he wasn't really in good luck recently and was brooding most of the time.

he was back briefly to attend his father-in-law's sudden demise wake and had to return to suzhou where he was permanently stationed. poor guy just got some cold and sarcastic remarks from his boss cos business wasn't really good.

just hope the praying would bring some spiritual consolation to him...and peace be with him. ornitofou!

handphone, poo and hahaha....

it was really a hilarious incident. i just couldn't imagine how it could have happened but it happened!

after a hearty makan, my pal was rumbling in the tummy. we headed for the gents and he entered a cubicle to settle his business.

such a busy fella. pooing and still so busy answering calls. i waited for him at the the lounge of the restaurant.

later when he came out, he looked kinda of sheepish. when asked why he took so long, he shyly revealed that he dropped his handphone into his poo.

hahahaha! i burst out laughing uncontrollably. how did it happen?

he said he had just finished a call and slipped his hp into his pocket. he was almost done and when he stood up to zip up, his handphone fell out...right into his shit!!

what next? well, he flushed and retrieved his hp and washed it thoroughly. but his newly bought handphone of few days old was as good as stinky dead!

wonder any of u got this kind of comical experience?

should i kill the ants?

2 days later, don and andrew invited me to another buddhist seminar. it was a sunday. don drove me in his new honda JAZZ with andrew inside.

this was another interesting seminar.

it began with offering to the statue of a seated MAITREYA BUDDHA. first it was a lighted lotus candle, then a plate of sweetly scented michelia/jasmine, then a vase of chyrsanthemums,another nice floral arrangement followed....then a bowl of fruits and finally a tray of 2 cups water with another cup of fruit juice in between.

it was followed by some thanksgiving verbal acknowledgement. then all seated and 'puja' chanting began in pali which i was totally blank and blur!

after that, a sri lankan professor who was well-versed in buddhism preached. finally question time. again, i was sitting right infront - face to face with the professor. he prompted me to ask the first question. oh well, here i went:

as buddhist practitioner, if there are ants in my house , can i kill them?

hahaha...that was the only question i recalled from the last seminar just 2 days ago.

this professor answered it very wisely:

it's not whether we should be killing the ants or not. we should ask ourselves why the ants happened to be there proliferating in the first place. they are like the karma to the action we did.

you see, if we keep our place clean....no food scraps lying everywhere, where would the ants come from? they won't come if there isn't anything like food to attract them, right? and if we have kept the place spick and spank, then we would definitely not getting the ants.

hmmm....make sense isn't it? i thought if he was stumped by it, i would just gave him the MONK AND NUN ANTS by the tibetan rinpoche....hahahaha! it's not about killing of the ants, more importantly it should be the CONTROLLING of our actions. hence if we are mindful of our action, then bad karmic effect like the appearance of the ants wouldn't have appeared and we as buddhist practitioners won't be in a dilemma of whether to kill the ants or not.

anyway, my answer was even simpler and straightforward. if it harms us and causes unhappiness to us, for heaven's sake just spray the ants with baygon. PROBLEM SOLVED! hahahaha.....;9)

am i enlightened or am i not?

i was slammed with a 2000yr old buddha statue!

1st may, labour day which was a public holiday. don, andrew and i attended a buddhist seminar by CHOKYI NYIMA RINPOCHE who was a renowned mdeditation master from eastern tibet. shortly before the chinese invasion of tibet in 1959, rinpoche left with his family for Sikkim. (i think that's in Nepal, not very sure.)

well, it was quite a amusing and fun seminar. it was a bit odd that it seem i was the only who could understand his uncanny wiry jokes. he laughed. i laughed too.

then question time. there was this even weirder question which really was very amusing and memorable which came from a laukuaybu. it went like this:

rinpoche, my house is infested with lots of ants. as buddhist practitioner, i understand i cannot kill....so what am i going to do?

rinpoche lifted his eye brows and was a bit blurred by the question. he answered anyway in a very amusing manner:

ok..ok...u divide the ants into male ants and female ants. the male ants u train to be monk ants; the female, nun ants...then u breed them...

hahahaha....your is a funny question so i give u a funny answer...hahahaha...

it was deriliously hilarious!! the audience laughed wildly!

soon, it was blessing time. don, andrew and i was seated in the front seats hence we were first to go up the stage to receive blessing from the rinpoche. oopss..and oops ooops!!

the lady mc annouced: please present your ang pows offering to rinpoche after he blesses u. however, before she announced, rinpoche had already mentioned something that "no need to pray to me or prostrate to me...later when i bless you, no offering please...."

what was i suppose to do? who care! just queue up behind those monks and lamas who were first to be blessed. they offered their angpows but the rinpoche swiftly put it back onto their palm and asked them to go after blessing them.

andrew was quick. he rushed out to the reception got 3 red packets. before he could give it to me to fill up with offering money, i was already kneeling infront of the rinpoche. he smiled, chanted some mantra and 'slammed' me with a small 2000yr old brass buddha......

well, was i supposed to feel anything? er...to be honest - NO. NOTHING,

but i think i understood what the rinpoche said before he started his preaching:
DO NOT PRAY TO ME OR PROSTRATE TO ME...

and i understood. the blessing was just a gesture to motivate ourselves to practise harder and be more compassionate to our fellow beings.

i understood that he was also only another human being - wiser and more enlightened and hence sharing his thoughts and teaching. that was probably the reason why he stressed 'don't pray or prostrate to me'...

sadhu...sadhu...emptiness is form, form is emptiness .....;9)

there was one very important lesson that i valued learning most from the rinpoche. that is:

WHEN ONE PRACTISES BUDDHISM, HE CAN STILL CONTINUE TO BE WHAT HE BELIEVES IN. HE CAN STILL BE CHRISTIAN OR MUSLIM OR ETC...BUT IF HE'S A CHRISTIAN, THEN IT WOULD BE DIFFEICULT FOR HIM TO PRACTISE BUDDHISM.

footnote: don and i have know each other for about 3yrs. it was weird. we actually know each other through msn while he was studying for his master in adelaide. he was suppose to remain and work in oz but chose to return here to work. according to him, it was higher pay and better privileges here.

i acquainted andrew through don. andrew is one helluva buddhist practitioner. i was astounded by his depth of buddhist knowledge. he was the youngest and i was the oldest ....pai seh ;9)...and the stupidest and blurcock one!!

bj joe, the swallowing atm and the smoking table - 4

this pub was a gem! it was heavily shaded by some tall tecoma grandiflora trees. it faced the river. there was a path where many cute joggers were using the track. wow!! just look at those ang mo mei meis!! wow..wow..wee!!

it was happy hour time. beer was on offer. joe ordered a pitcher of calsberg. i had a jug and joe had the rest of the beer. then the comedy started....

joe to waiter: could i ve a pack of cigarettes?
waiter: yes...what kind do u want? we only have 2 brands: viceroy and dunhill.
joe: huh? how much a pack?
waiter: er...different prices. u want metho, standard or light.
joe, getting impatient: ok, viceroy how much? what's that brand bob? never heard of it before..
waiter: no problem, sir. i bring a pack to u...that would be $10.50
joe: what!! that fucking expensive!!
lts: joe, the gov makes the money from the tax...not them who sells u.
Joe: ok...give me viceroy.
waiter went to get a pack and was back after collecting the cash from joe: sorry, sir....but u cannot smoke here!
i just couldn't contain my laughter any longer and burst out laughing very loudly...hahahaha...!!
joe was really pissed now! : what the fuck!!?? why cannot smoke here? that table is smoking...and that one the guests there are smoking...why i cannot smoke here??!!
waiter, a bit awkard and feeling stupid: er....sorry sir. those there and there ...they can smoke. but this table u cannot...
joe: huh?? what??? ( i thought any moment joe was going to vomit blood!) what the fuck is all this nonsens??
lts: joe, this is singapore with all the stupid rules and law. u better heed his advice or u will get fined...and his restaurant will also be fined.
a dejected joe was totally helpless: ok where can i smoke then?
waiter, pointing towards some high table: over there, sir...
joe: wtf!! there is no chairs to sit!!??
waiter: sorli sir....i go get u a high stool....
and that settle smoking bj joe who was angrily puffing away sitting on the high chair.

i looked a a pathetic joe and could help laughing out again. joe feeling quite silly, laughed too in the end: bob, u got some really fucked up tight ass cuntry here!!

a friendly ozzie who noticed what was going on came up to console joe: ya...this place is really funny....i don't smoke but my wife does....and we shifted from the non smoking table to this smoking after the guests here left. it's funny!!
joe: bob....i m seeing a doctor here to check my heart tomorrow...SERIOUS!!....all these fuckups are giving me a pain in my chest!!!

well, it was a lovely pub with weird rules. we couldn't blame them for we really have tightassed people running the hypocritical gov here.

bj joe, the swallowing atm and the smoking table - 3

we entered HSBC which housed also STARBUCK, up the escalator and soon we approached the receptionist counter. joe asked me to wait for him in the "PRESTIGE ACCOUNTS LOUNGE".

wow! it was really spacious. as i passed by the coffee dispenser, a friendly auntie asked me what drink did i want?
LTS: free is it?
smiling auntie: yes free ( bigger smile)
LTS: ok...er...capuccino can?
auntie: no problem. please take a seat. will be with u in a moment. (more smiles and a bow)

wow!! they really made u feel very 'VIP' and grand!

as i sat on the sofa, i grabbed hold of BUSINESS TIMES and started to read. soon the my kopi capuccino was here. wow! what was there? a HSBC shaped butter cookie! yummy!!
and the capuccino tasted exactly like starbucks!

soon joe had got his personal banking matters settled. he was served his espresso while going through his documents. when he was satisfied, we headed downstair to the atm cos' joe needed to withdraw some cash.

JOE suddenly yelped: HELL!!! fuck!!!
i went to him: what's wrong joe?
joe: the fucking machine swallowed my card!!!

he approached the receptionist stationed there but she was occupied at that moment. joe was pissed!! and that frowns on his face was threatening indeed!
joe: what a fuck is this place!! i was trying to change my PIN and after changing it, i keyed in my new PIN...and the bloody card got swallowed by the fucking atm!!

gosh!! it was first time i heard so many fierce expletives from gorgeous bj joe.

the receptionist noticed how pissed joe was, momemtarily excused herself from her immediate client and attended to joe. she gave joe a slip and told him to return the next day when the card could be retrieved after the bank closed.

well, what to do? we exited the bank and joe was one furious dissatisfied customer. he was brooding and mumbling more to himself then to me...

joe: bob...what a fuck up practice this place have!!
LTS: simmer down joe....relax....coool...coool...c'mon let me buy u a good makan in takashimaya. there is a good dimsum restaurant at B1. let's go to CRYSTAL JADE.
joe: sorry bob...i don't ve much cash now cos that fucking atm swallowed my bloody card!!
lts: joe....don't worry la...i m paying!! c'mon let's go and enjoy our meal. tomorrow u can come again...anyway, they still have to finalise some details with you what...relaxx....and joe, do u need some cash or not? i could lend you first.
joe: it's ok...oh!! a money changer....i go change some spare cash first.

we went there and boy!! how our currency had appreciated. 1000 rmb was only S$195. in the end, joe changed USD100 which was only S$133.

we reached CRYSTAL JADE, placed our order and ate. joe ordered a honeyed pork noodle while i had a stewed beef noodle. he ordered another plate of char siew. then joe asked: could i have egg?
LTS: huh? egg? as in fu rong dan?? (scrambled eggs with chopped char siew and shrimps)
joe: whatever...so long as egg. can i have diet coke.
LTS: fine....i ve puer er tea. ( this one was free flow and for only 80c per person)
in a jiffy, our ordered was served and we dug in.
after the makan, joe was deeply engrossed in his pda on one hand and his local handphone sms-ing on the other. i felt so bored and neglected so i browsed through the receipt.

huh? what was that?? towel?? we didn't use any towel. we used the tissue which i carried with me.
LTS: auntie, how come got towel charges. we didn't use leh.
auntie: oh...sorli...i go deduct from the bill.
lts: thanks (turning to joe) joe!! u damn busy hor!! what am i suppose to do now ...watching u fiddling ur 2 handphones is it?
joe: sorli la, bob....must msg back to beijing....about my instruction...wait a while please for their reponse.
lts: why are u here this time joe? the bank thing is it?
joe: yes...but also to see if there's a post here i could transfer over...i very sick with my bj job...

so we chatted and finally, we decided to drop by a pal's shop which was nearby. unfortunately, he wasn't around so joe and me decided to go back.

it was almost 5.15pm. joe wanted to take the cab. i stopped him.
LTS: joe, don't take the cab. it's very expensive now....it's like $3 surcharge and then 35% additional to the fair. u see the long queue of taxis? no one's taking them this peak period!
joe was quite dejected. he had to be cos i told him i don't pay for cab. and he didn't have much money with him for today.
joe: then how bob? i don't have much smaller change either to take bus.
lts: don't worry la...i pay for u. there is a direct bus from here back to your condo. let's take that.
joe: ok, thanks bob.

soon, we reached miramar hotel. we alighted and crossed over. i thought joe was reutrning to hi condo there. but no. instead he brought me to a nice cosy pub by the river.

bj joe, the swallowing atm and the smoking table - 2

it was the appointed time. joe and i agreed to meet and i was suppose to bring him to dimsum in red star. but it was awfully quiet my handphone. i decided to call him.

the phone rang for quite a while: hello...mmmph...hmmp...hello...who's this?
LTS: JOE!!! u still sleeping!! aiyo! aren't we suppose to have dim sum.
joe: sorli...overslept...i slept at 4am this morning...give me an hour to freshen up i call, ok?

by then it was almost 2.30pm. supposed to accompany him to the bank and banks here usually closed by 3.30pm. i called joe and asked him to wait outside his condo while in the taxi and would be picking him up soon.

there bj joe was waiting as gorgeous as metrosexual as ever!! he was like posing like a model there. the taxi horned him. he saw me inside and hastily hopped in.

LTS: WOW! JOE!! molton brown shower gel is over powering man!! (his shopping list for last trip here)
smiling and pleased, joe: u looking good, bob!
a hug and a firm handshake followed.
LTS: so..are u hungry for dim sum, joe?
joe: no la....i think we gotta go to the bank first, settle my things and then makan after that. ok?
LTS: u r the boss, joe....uncle, please take us to orchard road HSBC.

the taxi passed by the ERP. beep!! soon we reached orchard hsbc. the fare - my goodness!! almost $10!

bj joe, the swallowing atm and the smoking table

ppppp..pp. the handphone beeped with sms that read: HI, I M BACK IN SG....

huh? who the hell was there and back in singapore? the number wasn't listed in my hp's addressbook. i replied: WHO R U? silence. for the rest of the day, it was silent. no beeping of handphone.

midnite. ppppp...pp!! suddenly a reply in my hp: THIS IS JOE. oh my god!! beijing joe was here! replied sms to him: W R U now? silence. not again!!

1.30am. ppppp.....pp!! hp read: IN MY CONDO here la.

i guessed i just gotta call him to check him out....

LTS: hi joe! alamak!! u din id yourself and u only reply until now...susah man you!
joe: sorli la...bz lah. so how are you, old pal?
LTS: ok. and what about u?
joe: me? er...i need u to help me tomorrow to go to the bank....ok or not?
LTS: no problem. u call when u ready to go. u going to pubs again?
joe: no la....tired. i think i sleep after finishing some paperworks. so i see ye tomorrow. g'nite.

hmmm...asking me to the bank?? wow!! he must have brought a fortune with him ;9)

pussy, gayboys and used condoms

just for u, this story actually got side-tracks. oblivious to bitch - maybe she simply plays ignorant - seow kow kang could be a gay!!

he has a horde of gayboys at his disposal. there would be frequent 'loving' smses in his handphone. he would smile sweetly after reading them. he's really proud of himselff as he is not only pretty to bitch, he's even prettier to his gayboys admirers......hahahaha!

ah ter after abandoning the illicit lovelorn couple iss always being pestered by seow kow kang's gayboys. he deploys them to irritate him non-stop.

tua sai sniggles when ah ter complains to him. he loves to see others suffer as long as this nerd is the bystander. when ah ter tells the gayboys that tua sai is interested in them, the gayboys contact him. well, u don't see tua sai laughing anymore. instead he is angry and cusses ah ter forcefully. and we thought that tua sai loves the attention of the gayboys.

as the spammings from gayboys get even hotter, they even send MMS to ah ter with explicit pictures of the prick and claim that that belongs to seow kow kang!! FAINT!! then even more sms-es about detailed XXX activities they were having with seow kow kang. DOUBLE FAINT!!

one of the XXX message to a dejected gayboy was:

I VE JUS FUCKED A WET CB, WHAT CAN U GIVE ME?

a desperate lust-lorn gayboy was hoping to get ah ter to date seow kow kang for him. my god!! ah ter has since abandoned that uncanny group.

it's only after ah ter being so pissed off by the persistent bo liao sms-es, he warns the gayboys horde that he shall show all those XXX sms and mms to the police if they continue their nonsense. as a word of advice, ah ter told the gayboys to stop being exploited by seow kow kang who's simply a very itchy dickhead. after using them properly, they will be discarded like his used condoms.

and you know what after that message? another mms with a cum filled used condom sent to ah ter!!

FAINT! FAINT! FAINT!! the extend one would go to get their over their petty little vindictive revenge. (this last sentence, i bet it would be copied and used it back on me.)

another final sms message - a compliment from one of the gayboy reads:

HI, WHO IS JESSICA? SEOW KOW KANG TELL ME IT'S HIS NEW GF. WHO'S SHE? I NEED TO KNOW PLEASE.

sharksfin, abalone, mata la kopi...PART 5

food...glorious sharksfin and abalone!!

if there is an ICON that can fit the description: STUBBORN IDIOTS, these bunch of jokers would fit the bill perfectly.

seow kow kang, tua sai and bitch were finally arrested for 'illegal assembly'. they were charged and fined. that was indeed fine to them!! it was their intended plan not to pay the fine. they would rather squat in queenstown remand hotel. checking into the superior rooms there were actually what they had intended cos then their other altered ego as human rights activists would be initiated and further misled peasants that there was really no respectable laws in sinkieland. their aim was to incur wrath of peasants and hoping that would stir up their emotion to gang up against the gov.

well, like starting of this page, they are STUBBORN IDIOTS who thought the rest of peasants could also be their same kind of species as stubborn idiots. the ploy failed - miserably. there wasn't really a crowd during their protest rally. there wasn't any uproar when they were convicted. life went on. their antics was frowned upon as another side-show.

there were however some benefits that derived from all these: CANNED SHARKSFIN & ABALONE dropped in prices!! so AH YAT screamed in the ads: COME EAT AH!!....LAI AH!!! ALL HALF PRICED!!!

so here i m now....feasting with LTS and his motley gang of laukuaybus over the half-priced sharksfin and abalone.

yes, lau ah lian, pass the red vinegar please......ah huay, alamak!! u don't gulp down a whole piece of your abalone lah!! my god!! use the fork and knife to cut...jialat man, you!! tah sar, stop beaming at your beaming abalone...and could u please wipe that teary eyes of yours and start eating!! aiyo, you people are damn cartoon!!!

basket!! 3STOOGE4 u really saboed me!! they mata la kopi and u still wanna kar chio them. you damn bad leh!!

lau ah lian: aiyo, tahsar, that orh yue tang deserved it lah!! she laukuaybu, we also laukuaybus....u see we behave like that or not? eat ur abalone and slurp your sharksfin before they get cold......

sharksfin, abalone, mata la kopi...PART 4

NEWS...NEWS...AND MORE NEWS!!

ah ter told the story to me. as soon as it was posted, bitch's clones were deployed for the attack.

they had appeared as anticipated. the nasty gang of cyberbullies have finally shown themselves.

this is a strange cybercafe.....

those who attack them shall be gang bullied. but when bitch attack sai kong seng or wp, they would also appeared and join in the fray.

in the past, when sdp was criticised, clones were passive. as soon as bitch, seow kow kang and tua sai joined sdp, the defensive and edgy clones would come to defend and attack.

this is indeed a strange cybercafe of misled souls and cyber terrorists. it could be witnessed how seriously wrong the blurcocks here could be easily influenced.

it's cyberworld, hence anyone can protray what s/he wanna be. and ugly bitch could just be a hotmama and all the teekopehs here would throw in to support her.

human rights could be protrayed for fighting for peasants but in actual fact, they have unrevealed motives and hidden agendas....like maybe they were pissed by overpriced sharksfins and abalones. to protest againt those would seem kind of lame so u dilute it with expensive GOLD branded milk powder, big packet of GLICO POCKY, expensive BRANDED KOPI powder, pricey small packet japanese rice and etc.

and then the news read:

WORLD FOOD PRICES INCREASE

bitch and seow kow kang had a dire ambition to rule the land cos' kow kang thought with the wealth and fame he was enjoying now, it was time to go something bigger. maybe the mutual exploitation of each other as bitch was a fishmonger troll. she was like an epidemic easily spreading her contagious F&D virus infecting many brainless idiots who deluded her as some kind of hotstuff.

as for tua sai, he was easily manipulated. all one need was to put another mei mei - a cute little niece maybe - close to him and all the brainjuices would flow south to his little dickhead - another victim of the diaboilical F&D virus.

the swelling of the self-motivated and self-righteous confidence grew. seow kow kang thought it was time to take on the gov and tried to overthrow it. they schemed a protest calling it as 'peaceful'.

it was anything but peaceful......as it was anything legal without any police approval.

then news after news followed. it was splashed all over the urban dailies. ang kong kia found out what bitch was doing behind his back. all the evidences were recorded. all the chat messages, the flirtatious sms-ses, the love letters etc....all exposed!!

as if that wasn't enough. seow kow kang was arrested and manhandled by ugly female matas,

it led to a chain of reaction. tua sai was invited to have kopi in mata chu. the matas also visited bitch. now this was really big time!!

now not only ang kong kia realised that she wasn't a simple housewife or mother, she even brought his kids without informing them for some silly peaceful protest! to aggravate things, the poor mother-in-law now also knew about her altered ego activities. (maybe they should just rid the maid so that bitch would be more occupied with housework instead of occupying in all those nonsense.)

for tua sai, his aged parents must have been devastated. they must have thought that their son was just a harmless nerd studying deligiently in university, oogling once a while in gym and surfing alot of porn in the net....and that was about all their son's life was all about. to them he was a great son - one who any mothers would love their daughters to bring him home to have tea. how wrong they could perceive and their world came crashing apart at the mata's la kopi invitation to tua sai.

what's going to happen next? convictions to follow soon.....just gotta wait.

sharksfin, abalone, mata la kopi...PART 3

THE SHOCKING REVELATION OF FLIRT & DESROY....

ah ter was indeed shocked cos bitch was the one who had cautioned him about the mindgame luan ram was good at. instead she now believed luan ram. whatever did luan ram told her, she did not reveal. she was anxious that her illicit relationhip with seow kow kang was being probed into.

it was weird. if it didn't happen, why was there this apprehension and anxiety? obviously, what was rumoured around was not without basis......

a disappointed ah ter left the office. he took a long walk to stroll chinatown. as he was walking, he was pondering over the reasons why would bitch and seow kow kang chose to meet him.

all of them were total strangers who were regulars in the chatroom. tua sai was rather passive during the interrogative ordeal. either he knew what was going to happen and chose to not to tell ah ter prior.

ah ter came with tua sai but the former left alone while the latter remained behind. it was indeed a very strange meeting...a meeting involving in much hidden motives and agendas.

sharksfin, abalone, mata la kopi...PART 2

THE DRAMA...

characters introduction:

ah ter

bitch

seow kow kang

tua sai

scene: seow kow kang's office....

it was one of those cordial meeting, the 4 pals usually had during every weekends. seow kow kang being a very accomplished businessman, young, married and very promising millionaire in the making.

bitch was there with kow kang. ah ter and tua sai took the mrt together. they were walking towards kow kang's office.

ah ter: why today kow kang invites us to his office...strange?

tua sai: don't worry la....he just closed a deal and made a heap. he wants to share his happiness with us.

ah ter was brooding. he had this uncanny sense to foretell trouble approaching.

they finally reached NEHNEH building where seow kow kang and bitch were there waiting.

wow! it was a big office with a view! bitch was inside kow kang's personal office and fiddling his personal pc. kow kang was welcoming. he even prepared exquisite cookies and his hot chocolate for ah ter and tua sai.

tua sai: wow!! look at those collections of books you have!

he was awed by how elegantly the office was designed.

bitch: come see....see what this idiot sai kong seng posted in sbf cafe....kanna sai! hahahaha...always doing his sai kong show. what a moron!!

4 heads were locked into the extra big screen. it was a funny posting. they laughed in unison.

seated into their individual chair, kow kang began the chit chat. bitch was lying lazily on the big sofa.

bitch sighed: hiazzz!! ....so sleepy....i lie down, ok....

it was casual conversation. jokes, more jokes and laughters followed.

bitch was impatient. she got up and asked: ah ter, did u msn luan ram last nite?

luan ram was the ex-darling of bitch. ah ter knew him almost the same time he knew bitch and seow kow kang. tua sai was engrossed in reading the books from the tall bookcase.

ah ter, in his naivety answered: ya. why?

bitch was pissed. her anger and displeasure was gradually building up.

she probed further: why luan ram told me u asked him about me and seow kow kang?.....why u wanna know about us??

ah ter was taken back. he thought that was a personal casual msn with luan ram and could not figure how when bitch was so agitated about.

bitch continued: you wanna know about us...you ask us la...why must ask luan ram?

ah ter: huh? what's all this about? i find it strange that both of your behaviour is so abnormal.....and that incessant calls to seow kow kang ..then you..then he..then you again...itches me with intense curiosity.....what did luan ram tell you? it was just casual. how come u so kang cheong??

seow kow kang: luan ram is from the competitor company.....u don't ask him about us...you ask us about us!

ah ter could sense fire power building up. the stern hostile tone caught the attention of dua sai. he was looking rather blank and clueless what was happening. the mood had turned quite interrogative and intimidating.

bitch: so what if i make love to seow kow kang....what if...(censored)...and what if (censored..censored)...what the fuck care to you?!!

seow kow kang parroted after her: yes! what the fuck gotta do with you?!!

poor ah ter! it was a casual meetup like before and he did not anticipate such distress he was put in. dua sai was all the while quite muffled. it was like he knew it beforehand but he had kept it from ah ter so that they could entrap ah ter in their liar.

ah ter finally spoke up: it really pains me ...to see u a wife and mother behind in such a bitchy manner....and seow kow, u have just married ah girl....let me guess...ah girl already knows what going on between bitch and u??...oh please don't tell me she knew....oh dear!!!

what about your husband, bitch? how could u do it to ur loving hubby, ang kong kia. what's going on between u 2 guys???

...............................

sharksfin, abalone, mata la kopi...PART 1

FLIRT & DESTROY
nowadays, if u were born a bitchy chiobu - in reallife not as one would exaggerate in cyber - FLIRT & DESTROY come in very handy to get things done.

the recent news about F^D her younger lover to rid her husband was a breeze. she didn't need to raise a finger to see blood. the idiotic blurcock did all the dirty works for her.

well, LAWS AND HEAVEN got eyes. both of them are convicted now.

ain't this story very familiar in this cybercafe too?

more urban tales in real-life action??

it all began at a board meeting in the office...some where tg. pagar.......

CHEAT LEECH & EXPLOIT.....

have u been accused of that after a friend comes and drives u to makan, pays for the bills, then asks u where u wanna go and sends u there in his gold nissan sunny?

later, on the pc and posts: so and so CHEAT LEECH AND EXPLOIT HIM, create polls and uses polls results to further defame that poor guy he just treated?

again, this "friend" calls u out for makan. says sorry for the jokes he has done onto u and again pays for the makan and repeats only to continue posting in forum to intensify his CHEAT LEECH AND EXPLOIT , accusing the one he treated has done on him.

what kind of fella is this "friend"?

this same "friend" again. after makan, brings you to shop in jb. u do ur shopping, he does his. at the paying counter, he rushes forward insisting to pay for you.

yes, once hit his pc, it's posting time: CHEAT LEECH & EXPLOIT... and more polls created.

the victim is a nincompoo still taking it in strive and thinking it is all a joke!

what kind of "friend" is this?

then come one fine day, when the moon is FULL and all the hormones surge....

he brings u to whorehouse in JB and even offer to pay for sexual indulgence which you kindly refuse saying u would rather shop and he could relieve himself by dropping you in a nearby shopping centre. he can come later to pick u up later when he has done his business of pleasure.

then again, back to his pc, he adds more CHEAT LEECH & EXPLOIT.....

what kind of "friend" is this?

it is a holy day. u invite your friend to makan veggie food in temple. he brings along his virtuous lovely wife.

infront of you, he jokes and says loudly: MY WIFE IS OLDER THAN ME!...HAHAHAHA!

you can see the shock in his wifey's face with all the beehoon dangling in her half opened mouth. you are shocked too with more beehoon dangling in your own wide-opened mouth.

back to his pc, he posted: I WOULD BE A BASTARD IF I M UNFAITHFUL TO MY VIRTUOUS WIFE.....

then when u meet, he brags about his ordeal from geylang lorong 10 to lorong X and vividly describing the quality of mei meis who are famous there.

so now he's back in another nic to rekindle his CHEAT LEECH AND EXPLOIT.......

WHAT DO U CALL THIS KIND OF "FRIEND"?

no wonder with this kind of "friend", who would need an enemy.

NOTES: notice that all present tense is used instead of past. this sort of entrapment or nasty ploy is still happening. are u unwittingly become a unwary victim of someone's mocked up CHEAT LEECH & EXPLOIT??