HAPPY TIMES THAT CAN'T LAST.....:(

after i put up the poll on: SAVE MY MEILING, gaylord PLASTICO was all fired up. he wanted to 'save meiling' which is my ward's hawker centre.

this place is very airy with high ceiling, widely spaced seatings, cheap and honest to goodness food, friendliest bunch of hawkers u can find in singapore. well!....everything is very good and retro.

PLASTICO initiated everyone in the regular weekend meet up to be involved....to be what he called ACTIVISM. he wanted to stop the upgrading of meiling. initially, i thought his intention was sincere. our aim is to prevent this upgrading and motivate the hawkers, residents and frequent makan kakis at mei ling to petition against the upgrading.

ugly sotong THING after listening to all this, shrunk his balls. he told us he won't wanna join in the fray. the next meeting he was absent...and missing in action hence. however that didn't stop him from meeting me personally and continue our rendevous in dining together. this idiot was another sinister clown. he posted many lame polls about me. dun ask me. i dunno why he did that to discredit me as CHEAT, LEECH AND EXPLOIT on him even though i did pay some of the more expensive meal when we ate together. that he never mentioned.....;9(

many hawker centres after upgraded saw the disappearance of the many of the original hawkers there and hence the extinction of the good, authentic and economical food sold. one very good example was the ABC market.

the upgrading there was in my opinion - a disaster. the hawker centre now has very low roof. its design was utterly over exaggerated but does not serve or enhance the comfort of diners there.

it now has poorer ventilation. eating there is like going to the sauna. ABC hc used to open almost 24hrs. now it was almost dead at around 10pm. most of the hawkers there lament of poor business, higher rentals and terrible hot conditions there as the stupid design does not provide much airy ventilation.

IT WAS A COOPED UP FUCKED UP PLACE TO EAT COMFORTABLY!

i remember i was there at about 11pm one night. most stalls were already closed. boy!! was it hot! and it was night. imagine how one who eats there during lunch time.......;9(

i was stupidly being motivated by PLASTICO. i m very friendly and goonie and mixed around very easily - one of GOD's blessed gift to me. people would talk very casually to me too. when the piggy talks, it's like we have been buddies for a long time. there isn't a wall of resentment or doubt, just friendliness and congeniality.

PLASTICO and the INVISIBLE BITCH could have noticed this talent in me. hence, ulterior personal motives of theirs were schemed. it was a devious intention actually to activate PAU or People Against Upgrading. their real motives was to achieve a 'feather in their cap' so as to use it as a platform to brag and gather votes in the next GENERAL ELECTION in 2011. It was sort of an idealism telling the people: there i did something voluntary and fought for your welfare even though i was not from ur ward....SO VOTE FOR ME!

i was very troubled. i hinted to them that politic was not in my blood. me wanna robe up as a MONK wannabe....not a weasel smooth talking politician that gives empty promises to people......;9(

but a weasel is a weasel doing.....nothing is more weasely than a gaylord lawyer PLASTICO....;9(

after i voiced that and made more conversation with the hawkers in meiling, the truth dawned on me. those shrewd hawkers were actually buying time and hoping to be compensated for the upgrading. they would gladly F off and get compensated in 5-figures. the rental there was so cheap. inclusive of the conservancy charges, it wasn't even $400 per mth!

stall rental was like $150, conservancy was $180. if a hawker just sublet his stall to another for $800 or so, he would already got a tidy profit! he didn't even need to sweat a drop of juice!

hence, i realised this PAU just couldn't work. if those jokers hawkers weren't really wanting to stay put, what's there to fight for.

i revealed and explained to gaylord PLASTICO, INVISIBLE BITCH and TORCH ON nerd but their reaction was not a conducive nor a accepting one. whether good or bad, ACTIVISM was all they wanted - meaning they would rebel for the sake of REBELLING.

again, i found out from attending a chitchat by our mp chiohunk BAEY YAM KENG that there would be features like lifts and escalators provided for the convenience of old citizens here. mei ling has many senior citizens. in fact every weekends, there would be a funeral wake. sometime even a couple. almost every week, there would be a few drop dead senior folks here......;9(

what m i suppose to do now? the upgrading is in fact a good proposal but the 3 clowns still wanted PAU to proceed. that la mei INVISIBLE BITCH started to sow discord and instigate the nerd TORCH to flame on me.....it was quite a very uncomfy liaison now with them.

worst of the worst, this stupig bought the whole lame F4 home for tea for every meeting after our breakfast in meiling. i was so so busy serving them my DONG DING OOLONG, LONG JIN, FRUIT/FLORAL, fruit juices and later oldenlandia water with a slice of lemon and etc.

they would sit and chat for a few hours before dimissing. plastico loved my IDESIRE massage chair. this biggest idiot kept asking me to sell him half price. he must be joking!....it was brand new bought at about 6.5K . still guaranteed.

he how lian(boast) it was a gift for the INVISIBLE BITCH....what an outrageous boasting!

soon, vincent (ramseth), cid pal, blackman, guanhuang, jixiaolan and a host of other forummers also came into the picture.

LET'S CALL THEM COLLECTIVELY : THE X - MEN....

deng...deng..deng...denggggggggggggggggg................!!

part 5: ARRIVAL OF GAYLORD PLASTICO, the leader

finally the arrival of the leader of the F4 pack - gaylord PLASTICO.....
deng...deng...deng....dengggggggggggggg!!!!

one fine day, i was as usual posting my bo liao stories. the phone suddenly rang. it was sotong THING. he asked me to surf down to mei ling market. someone there dying to meet me. who?? i wonder who? this blurpiggy was also one curious big kaypohji.

without 3x7 = 21, i zoomed there in a jiffy as fast as my SURFING LEGS could take this oversize piggy ham.

waiting there, was thing, invisible bitch ...and who the hell was that??

oh my god!! gaylord's presence!! i was shocked! he was prettier than the invisible bitch! (well, that comment was originated from the drooling sex pervert's mouth, the thing aka sotong.)

flirtatious pair of invisible bitch and plastico was quite deplorable. they were just too couple-liked . one could just mistake them as husband and wife. but they were not.

one got a husband la ge and 2 la kids. the other got a wifey. i was told - by some uncanniness - that mrs plastico resembled the invisible bitch!...oh my god!!!

that started the whole ball rolling.....and we had our regular meetup in mei ling. me and the lame fantasick 4 just loved our mei ling.

then fine one day, this itchy piggy arse went to put up a POLL in sbf.....and trouble started.....;9(

F4 - part 4 : THE INVISIBLE BITCH

this bag of bone, la mei aka THE INVISIBLE BITCH was the most sinister among the lot.
calling herself la mei was over rating her body which was nothing but a pile of bones. that is why she was quite invisible if u look at her from the side. it was just as thin as a bamboo pole. why no
'twin peaks', u asking? well, she was quite flat. my boobs are even bigger than hers anytime!...hahahaha.....;9)

by the way, if u invert the 'i' in her lamei, it would become lame!

she was a really bold housewife and a mother of 2 kids. rather it should be a desperate housewife and a lonely bitchy mum who had nothing better to do than meeting male strangers from the forum - ALONE!! (wonder her husband knew about her indecent activities?)

she disliked sotong THING. she made use of him to meet SILVERLEE, the blurpiggy. so we met. again in ZI YEAN. sotong THING appeared in an over exaggerated attire - long sleeves with ties n leather shoes. ......and yuck! that stinky snake oil he applied....phew!

the THING like i said was a sex pervert. he came fully prepared. he presented to la mei INVISIBLE BITCH gifts of - what else - his personal snake oils meticulously wrapped and with a cute little silver ribbon. awwwwwwwww!......so sweet!!

but the intention of the INVISIBLE BITCH was to meet up with me. later we msn, she revealed to me if i hadn't come, she won't appear too. she would remain - well, INVISIBLE! she added that she msn-ed a few times but i ignored her. of course, i had to. she was - well, INVISIBLE BITCH what.....;9( how would i know whether she was real or a faked up guniang who could be an horny ah kua, right? to play safe, i became INVISIBLE PIGGY too lor...hahahaha.....;9)

.........to be cont'd...

F4 - part 3

that was how i met one of the lame F4 - the ugly sotong, THING who was by the way a sex pervert in disguise.

next on my list, was kaixin. u could see how cute he is in my previous entry. this was the nerd from NUS. his role, THE FIRESTARTER - always flame on.....especially directed at me. well, poor piggy SILVER SURFLEE never fail to get roasted, charred...and now worst NUKED! more advanced nuclear weapons now what....;9(

my meeting up with kaixin was due to the arrival of my ozzie dearie. she would be MEDUSA, the one with a pair of 'honeydew' assets. er........for those who are blurred by my terms. ok lah!....she got the biggest boobs i ever seen!! yummy!!

i dunno...but the boobs didn't quite like the nerd. she had warned me about him. that how he was flaming me behind all kind of nicks and balless dicks like kelingkia, milkway, liquanxie...etc.
these all the balless dicks, i mean nics used to discredit me and flame me incessantly. for everyone's info, this is the most goreng and charred piggy ex-forummer in sbf - LEETAHSAR....;9( now re-enacted as blurpiggy SILVERLEE.

now i m history! completely and permanently banned. this brings us to our next character: la mei or THE INVISIBLE BITCH aka the evil bags of bones.

ya...music:

deng...deng.deng...denggggggggggggg!!!

.....to be cont'd....

F4 - part 2

once in a far away galaxy, a planet called LTS existed. sadly it was now being destroyed by the F4 or the FANTASICK 4.

it all began with this idiot call leetahsar or the SILVER SURFLEE who has nothing better to do than to surf the net daily. why? ok..me forcefully retired. so what to do? post bo liao stories like what i m doing now....;9)

my first real life zany tale was about my bunch of crazy ITALIAN PALS. if u wanna know more, u can visit my blog:

http://upheavalofleetahsar.blogspot.com

go to the very very beginning. very funny! sure to leave u in stitches with all the S&M XXX episodes.....;9)

well, i never tot there were any readers. i simply posted and posted stories after stories of my life crazy occurences.one fine day, an intergalatic message came:

MEET ME, SILVER SURFLEE. this is the THING (aka sex pervert sotong). i belanja u with delisexious dim sums.

u know, SILVER SURFLEE (that's this goon piggy here) is forever greedy about food. (that's also how GALACTICUS goes about eating. but his favourite is different galaxies. will urs be next?)

hopping onto my trusty silver surfboard (ahem!...that would be our bus...hahaha) i rushed to meet this ugly sotong THING at ZI YEAN.that was my first fatal mistake....deng..deng...dennnnnnnggggggggggggg!!!......

to be cont'd.......

F4 - THE LAME FANTASICK 4

the F4 - THE FANTASICK 4

1. gaylord - the leader of the pack. a conniving PLASTICO lawyer with little or no biz dwelling under the refuge of a relative's firm

2. nerd - THE TORCH ON turdy nerd who is burning himself up with absurdities when blessed with a brilliant blain.

3. sotong aka ??aka??? - THE THING, ugly like fuck. only there to be cheated, leeched and exploited by the gang.

4. the bitchy slug - the invisible woman whose FLIRT & DESTROY and expert in sowing discord and instigation.once in a far away galaxy.......

well, before i could write this zany tale, i was already banned fr sbf kopitiam. worst, my world of leetahsar was obliterated.i hope i won't do the same mistake here. promise only to read and laugh and dun get urself agitated or angry.

THIS IS NOT MY INTENTION.

my intention is to loosen ur tight mood. but many idiots, retards and clowns/clownlets in sbf cannot see this. so kek sim!...;9(

MY FUCKING MESSY LIFE

this blog leaves me laughing in stitches!

http://lameiblog.blogspot.com/

yes! this is the SLUG like my fucking tienlor water snails. the FLIRT & DESTROY pai kut jin or evil bonny spirit who single-handedly sowed discord and instigated hatred and enemities between new found 'friendship'.

actually, it couldn't be a 'friendship' to begin with. all those clowns who met me was there to meet me with a hidden agendas and motives.

sadly, such a acquaintance just cannot last and tolerate the test of time.


so be it.......the liasion ended as soon as it blossomed......pretty sad, isn't it?

EMPTINESS IS FORM....FORM IS EMPTINESS.....

is there anything REAL anymore??

PS> THIS BITCH MAY HAVE CAUSED ME BEING BANNED PERMANENTLY FROM POSTING IN THAT WEIRD SAMMYBOY COFFEESHOP..........:(

what a funny post!....hahahaha

his latest pic which he boldly put up in the sammyboy coffeeshop. i think he looks more 'monki' than me....just like a little 沙 和 尚。。。。CUTE ISN'T HE?......;9)


ng e-jay


this new thread by RED SQUIRREL (whoever this joker is) is damn bloody funny!






From:
Red_Squirrel
09:33
To:
ALL
1 of 1

148128.1
'All I did was call him a nerd and he came to kill me'July 31, 2007


Bob Sim
Ng E-Jay
A NUS Mathematics PhD student who got mad when someone mocked him as a "nerd" over the internet logged on to his computer and sent his email to travel 10,000 miles from Singapore to Littleton, Massachusetts to teach the other guy a lesson.
When his email finally arrived at Delphiforums HQ, E-Jay's email caused the man's virtual pizzashop to be burned down.
Today, Ng E-Jay (aka Huang Yijie), 30, pleaded no contest to virtual arson and admitted he set the blaze.
"I didn't think anybody was stupid enough to try to kill anybody over an internet fight," said Bob Sim, 48, who suffered virtual smoke inhalation while trying to put out the blaze that caused S$20,000 in damage to his virtual pizzashop.
"All I did was call him a nerd and he came to kill me."
The feud started when Bob, who runs a virtual pizzashop "The world of leetahsar" *at Delphiforums, joined "Sammyboy.com's Alfresco Coffee Shop" website and posted his daily chanting. After he deleted some messages from his virtual pizzashop because of insults, foul language, and exposure of privacy, they retaliated by making obscene digitally altered pictures of him, he said.
Bob, who went by the screen name "leetahsar," traded barbs with E-Jay, aka "KaiXin1".
Forummers say E-Jay boiled over when Bob called him a nerd and posted an ODE mocking him:

there was a nerd,
who left his turd
in my arse sprayer
in his arse, he poked
there is a dwarf
who is the nerd
who's blessed with a mind
yet he treats it as a turd
there is a toot
who is this dwarf nerd
sweet nothings
he loves her flirts
there is this bayi
who's the nerd
and a dwarf with the turd
and readily spews nonsense just like
spraying his arse
trying to clear all his turds!
woe is this piggy!
woe and alas is he!
having all his nonsense...
cleaning up his turds!
yucks...blech...eeek!!

E-Jay's "fantastic 4" teammate, Jaslyn Go, aka "LaMei", said his email to the Delphiforums HQ in Littleton, Massachusetts was a last-minute decision. She said he never intended to hurt Bob and did not think he was in the virtual pizzashop when the fire was set.
"He lost everything - his virtual pizzashop and his moniker leetahsar now banned - all over an internet squabble," the Delphiforums Administrator said.
Ng E-Jay was sacked from his part-time tutoring job for MA1506 Mathematics II at the National University of Singapore a few months ago, where he earned his BSc (Hons) and MSc degrees in Mathematics, said his PhD thesis supervisor Professor AJ Berrick.
E-Jay would not let the feud go even when he lost his job. He is contemplating of driving a cab.
"Before this happened, the rule was: Nobody messes with the blur piggy," Bob said.

*"The world of leetahsar" had been abruptly destroyed by delphiforums with a lame reason given. the nic kelvin2323 who's a long time pal of LTS didn't complain about abuse usuage of his nic. a 3rd hideous party who is a flamer and a loser did that. for that, my forum was obliterated.
this is very unfair and very UNamerican!!........;9(

THE WONDERFUL ZANY LEETAHSAR....

from a pal who registered himself as leetahsar2. his name is ST YONG and is based in suzhou now. this joker told me he could easily sell me off to rich but old mei mei who is desperate for someone like me - A 48K VIRGIN as a husband....what a joker!....

this was what he posted in the forum about me. i m flattered but it's nice to know that there are always many pals behind me....thank you very much guys!....

LEETAHSAR2:

the poor LTS, a good buddy of mine since school days, is now being completely banned in that funny forum. the poor thing! even got his personal forum WORLD OF LEETAHSAR being obliterated!!

the whole bunch of us good buddies were very fortunate to have acquainted with this zany BOB LEETAHSAR. without him, i could have ended my life during the drastic economy downturn. another pal of us KY CHIN also faced the same problem. we were once all high fliers in the electronic sectors with a 5-figures pay.

his story about choo-choo is real! she was the friendliest and one of the prettiest girl in our class. however, her fate was turned into hell when she met and married a bastard known as JOHN.
after marrying him not long, the couple set up their own business. tragedies and misfortunes followed one another....

first, there was a terrible accident. the car driven by John crashed. choochoo lost an eye while john was perfectly ok. due to this misfortune, choochoo claimed quite a substantial insurance monies. gave most of it to john only saving some for her cosmetic surgery to implant a fake eyeball.

she thought john would use the insurance payout to bail out their ailing business venture. instead, he seconded and abruptly disappeared without a trace.

choochoo was devastated!....oh well, u can read the real happening LTS has posted in his blog here.

but he didn't tell about my part of story which i would gladly share with everyone now.

i was once a high flier service engineer with a slightly more than 5-figures pay. was occasionally headhunted. flied around quite often in business class to attend to regional meetings and servicing calls.

suddenly the economic downturn came. my whole world fell apart! i just bought a new condo and change a new luxury car not long. and this just gotta happen!

i was blank off. i fell into depression cos now i was retrenched! i got my new condo and car instalments to service. to aggravate matters, the properties price dropped like an atomic bomb!! such unpredecent whammies i was being hit one after another.

i wanted to end it all...serious! debts..and debts were piling up cos i drown myself in booze zapping with my credit cards.

things changed until i got a surprise call from BOB. i was so pent up with my sorrows. i just poured everything unto him......and he enlightened me...with a simple buddhist phrase:

EMPTINESS IS FORM....FORM IS EMPTINESS.....what we think we are seeing is not really what we are seeing....

those short sweet humble words still runs pristinely in my mind. it wasn't like overnight i overcome such depression. he accompanied me very often. i dun need to call him. i was already very miserable. he came to me instead. i already sold my new car at a terrible loss. however, i couldn't rid my new condo. the losses there and then would be really silly if i were to sell.

BOB was a jack of all trades. whatever jobs u name it, most likely he has tried it. he was once a real estate agent. in the shortest time, he got for me tenants to rent my property. in a way, it really lightened my financial load.

but the best thing that could happen wasn't this. the best thing was: he enlightened my thinking. made me realised my folly of GREED. made me appreciate the things i possessed instead of chasing for more materialistic wealth.

and i admired him greatly!.....this goon lost his garden which he dumped in so much of his time, money and effort....and in the end, it was mercilessly bulldozered! that's not all. he lost almost his entire saving in the CLOB shares. yet he just brushed it off like as though nothing happened.

IS HE CRAZY??.....i asked myself. and this was what he answered me: EMPTINESS IS FORM...FORM IS EMPTINESS....what's yours will be yours; what's not, then forget about it....if it's lost, it's lost....it simply means it isn't yours....

well, that's the very positive and cheery LEETAHSAR the whole gang of 'squatters' (we hate that term he calls us cos most lost their high paying jobs then) look up to him as our LAO TA GE.

he is always there to give a listening ear. if he can help u, he gladly would - which i doubt he really could cos every squatters need only money to solve their immediate problem.

his being there for us to listen to our whinning and trying his zany ways to enlighten us is already a god-given to us.

.....so LEETAHSAR....cheer up!!!.....u got us!! - your good buddies from the secondary school class 4A......:)

BURMESE PRINCE

MY BURMESE PRINCE

this one very very uncanny and weird. totally unexpected!
he's from burma or myanmar, its new name. his name is MIN THEN. i knew him some years back. he worked in a hospital where i landscaped and maintained the garden there.
since then, he already returned to myanmar. now he was back!!....and i got to meet him in my mei ling!! no joke!
it was a lazy sunday. actually everyday is a lazy sunday to me...hahahaha....;9). i went to mei ling for lunch. after a shiok super serving of lor mee which only cost $2, i proceed to the hainanese kopi stall for my teh C siew dai (less sugar).
"boob...!" a voice suddenly rang out behind me. " boob sim!!!...hey!!"
i turned. a handsome chinese looking guy waving frantically at me. "who the hell is this chio idiot??"
he stood up smiling and flashing his gleaming set of teeth. "boob sim!!! min then...min then....u forgot about me??" he called out.
oh shit! no!!! THE BURMESE PRINCE!!!

lts: min then!!...oh yes! i remember. u worked in that hospital i landscaped...right?
min: ya la!...aiyo, why u here?
lts: i stay here what...and why you here?
min: u dunno la....last time i lived here u know...wah lau!...we lived so near and we still dunno!! i went back for a few years. got married. set up business there. my wife asked me come back here to study....then i go back open hotel la.
lts: huh?...open hotel??...u so bloody rich man!!!...can i call u godfather?..hahahaha...
min: aiyo....boob sim, u dunno la...i need a place to rent. i like here cos very convenient to go to my school. i only staying for 6 mths. my course will finish and i go home. u got house to rent or not...
yes i got. but how should i tell him? renting him would be giving extra income to my lauhanku to go and fuck spiders in hatyai. how to answer him??
silly o' me!! brought him home for tea!!!.....;9(
this blurpiggy never learns his lesson!! for sure!!

now my headache start!
he loved my placed - my 2 units pigeonholes. he loved my plants from one end of the corridor right to the doorsteps....and shit!! he loved me!!......;9(
...and that's where my problem commenced.....;9(


min: boob sim, u dunno...i now staying with my other burmese friends in machperson. one room about 8 persons sleeping. very smelly, packed and very hot u know. can rent one room to me...please la....i cannot concentrate my study la....i like clean clean room...not like the one i m staying now.....very sianzzz u know....
he looked at me pathetically. what was i suppose to do?
lts: ok, i ask my parents and see how...i think i ask my old man first? (i knew that would get him work up and maybe so excited he could drop dead!)
yes, it got him very very excited but he didn't drop dead. he blasted his loudest stereo...but still he didn't drop dead.
lts: see min then....u heard the stereo hor...i can't help u la...i ask around for u ok...can or not...give me some time. i go ask around for u.
min was so touched he was closed to tear. he hugged me...oh dear!!!....i just patted him and ensure i would help him.
after some chatting and tea, it was time for him to buzz off to his school for class. we parted.
u think i said said only, right?
WRONG!! i did ask starting from my floor. all the way down...up the block. all the way to the market. to the hawker stalls.
BINGO!!! THERE WAS ONE OLD MAN who was willing to rent out his room.
soon, min then shifted into the old man's pigeonhole...and my troubles began.....;9(

min then was very thankful to me. he was truly grateful...oh shit!! so grateful, he started bring me gifts...my goodness!
first it was burmese fried garlic. hmmm! very nice. ate already plenty of garlic farts...stinky and very durably lasting. mamalee frown cos it was the only natural fresh garlic scented 'air freshener' in the house...hahahaha.....;9)
i told min then to keep all his foodstuffs to himself. he is away from home, he should use it for himself. i do not need them. and he came again. this time with - oh my god!! - deer antler meat or lu rong. this one very powderful aphrodiasic!
mamalee used to double boiled this for my lauhanku. maybe that makes him what he is today: a very good marikita singer...that one in between his legs, i mean. it always standing attention to our national anthem except he 'sings' it regularly to his teetujias or spider spirits in hat yai.....;9(
lts: wow min then!!....this also u got..u take already very horny u know hor??
min: ya la ...i know. why u think my wifey so like me? *mischievous wink at me!*
boob sim, can intro me some girlfriends or not?
lts: huh?...intro what??!!..YOU WANNA DIE IS IT!!...u come to study or come to play with mei meis??
min: aiyo...sorli la...beri lonely sometime u know....*that sulking pathetic expression again*
yes, boob sim...my inlis beri bed...can u teach me??..can..pleassssssssse?
siao liao!!!....how now??...how huh??? am i suppose to be his inlis english

lts: serious or not you?
min then nodded..again that pitiful expression and pouty lips.
lts: ok lor...can! $200 per mth. want?
min: aiyo...alamak...*&"�$#@ (dunno what burmese. could be F words)....dun like that la... *sulk, pout...wink*
lts: ok...$50 ...for u...special...$50...
min: dun want la....
lts: $5....ok...$5
min: umhmmm..boob sim...! umhmmm....
wow lau! trying to get fresh with me?
lts: ok...GO TO HELL!!.....;9(

MIN: sorli ...boob sim...sorli....u see...i dun want wifey to send me more money. i try to get a part time job. if u can help me.....get one for me ..can...can?
see....i m now like his nanny. everything pao ka liao for him....jialat and chum for me....;9(
lts: oh really? can i pimp u off as a gigolo...i get 70% u take 30%...can?...u very cute...can make many many money..hahahaha...;9)
min blushed and flushed with embarrassment.
min: never mind. i go ask my burmese friends. but can teach me inglis or not...pleasssssse..pleassssssse...i clean ur 2 houses free of charge..pleasssssssse...pleasssssssse...
i was at my wit's end: ok...ok...i help u....u dun need to clean my flats...i got maid.
min: thank you, boob sim...( shit!! he hugged me again! i gotta to push him away. maybe i should smack him to remind him � � � � �� ���)
lts: min then! just say thank you, can already...DON'T HUG ME AGAIN!! OK??
instead of being his inlis english teacher, i ended up his personal secretary.
i m suppose to finish all his assignment like YOU R NOW THE GENERAL MANAGER OF A 500 ROOMS 5 STAR HOTEL. THERE ARE MANY COMPLAINTS FR GUESTS. HOW TO RECTIFY THE PROBLEM AND IMPROVE THE HOTEL'S IMAGE and increase business for the hotel.
min then, if i know hor....I WOULD BE THE GM OF THE HOTEL! I WON'T BE WRITING THIS STUPID ASSIGNMENT FOR U!!
but bo bian, i had finished it. he had handed it in. his lecturer said it was fantastic!! he would let me know the grade when the papers are returned to him.
and now, there is another immediate assignment:
YOU R NOW THE SECURITY MANAGER - SAME HOTEL . how do u improve the security and safety of hotel guests without making the guest feeling uncomfortable.
basket how???....who can do this assignment for me???
20 july '07. suppose to hand up this assignment.
me and my kaypohji nature!!!...kek sim!!.....;9(

MIN: sorli ...boob sim...sorli....u see...i dun want wifey to send me more money. i try to get a part time job. if u can help me.....get one for me ..can...can?
see....i m now like his nanny. everything pao ka liao for him....jialat and chum for me....;9(
lts: oh really? can i pimp u off as a gigolo...i get 70% u take 30%...can?...u very cute...can make many many money..hahahaha...;9)
min blushed and flushed with embarrassment.
min: never mind. i go ask my burmese friends. but can teach me inglis or not...pleasssssse..pleassssssse...i clean ur 2 houses free of charge..pleasssssssse...pleasssssssse...
i was at my wit's end: ok...ok...i help u....u dun need to clean my flats...i got maid.
min: thank you, boob sim...( shit!! he hugged me again! i gotta to push him away. maybe i should smack him to remind him � � � � �� ���)
lts: min then! just say thank you, can already...DON'T HUG ME AGAIN!! OK??
instead of being his inlis english teacher, i ended up his personal secretary.
i m suppose to finish all his assignment like YOU R NOW THE GENERAL MANAGER OF A 500 ROOMS 5 STAR HOTEL. THERE ARE MANY COMPLAINTS FR GUESTS. HOW TO RECTIFY THE PROBLEM AND IMPROVE THE HOTEL'S IMAGE and increase business for the hotel.

min then, if i know hor....I WOULD BE THE GM OF THE HOTEL! I WON'T BE WRITING THIS STUPID ASSIGNMENT FOR U!!
but bo bian, i had finished it. he had handed it in. his lecturer said it was fantastic!! he would let me know the grade when the papers are returned to him.
and now, there is another immediate assignment:
YOU R NOW THE SECURITY MANAGER - SAME HOTEL . how do u improve the security and safety of hotel guests without making the guest feeling uncomfortable.
basket how???....who can do this assignment for me???
20 july '07. suppose to hand up this assignment.
me and my kaypohji nature!!!...kek sim!!.....;9(

MIN: sorli ...boob sim...sorli....u see...i dun want wifey to send me more money. i try to get a part time job. if u can help me.....get one for me ..can...can?
see....i m now like his nanny. everything pao ka liao for him....jialat and chum for me....;9(
lts: oh really? can i pimp u off as a gigolo...i get 70% u take 30%...can?...u very cute...can make many many money..hahahaha...;9)
min blushed and flushed with embarrassment.
min: never mind. i go ask my burmese friends. but can teach me inglis or not...pleasssssse..pleassssssse...i clean ur 2 houses free of charge..pleasssssssse...pleasssssssse...
i was at my wit's end: ok...ok...i help u....u dun need to clean my flats...i got maid.
min: thank you, boob sim...( shit!! he hugged me again! i gotta to push him away. maybe i should smack him to remind him � � � � �� ���)
lts: min then! just say thank you, can already...DON'T HUG ME AGAIN!! OK??
instead of being his inlis english teacher, i ended up his personal secretary.
i m suppose to finish all his assignment like YOU R NOW THE GENERAL MANAGER OF A 500 ROOMS 5 STAR HOTEL. THERE ARE MANY COMPLAINTS FR GUESTS. HOW TO RECTIFY THE PROBLEM AND IMPROVE THE HOTEL'S IMAGE and increase business for the hotel.
min then, if i know hor....I WOULD BE THE GM OF THE HOTEL! I WON'T BE WRITING THIS STUPID ASSIGNMENT FOR U!!
but bo bian, i had finished it. he had handed it in. his lecturer said it was fantastic!! he would let me know the grade when the papers are returned to him.
and now, there is another immediate assignment:
YOU R NOW THE SECURITY MANAGER - SAME HOTEL . how do u improve the security and safety of hotel guests without making the guest feeling uncomfortable.
basket how???....who can do this assignment for me???
20 july '07. suppose to hand up this assignment.
me and my kaypohji nature!!!...kek sim!!.....;9(

ringggggggg! my domestic phone rang cos i gave him that cos my hp had no free incoming calls cos i think it was going to be a long...long...long...conversation.
tommy: hi bob! everything's settled for me. we meet at chinatown at about 8pm.
da thum..da thum..da thum....my heart was thumping loud and fast.
who was this joker? how he got my name? where did he get my number?
the more i thought, the better curiosity got hold of me....;9)
i changed and zoomed off to meet him.
i was suppose to meet him at a bus stop infront of PEARL'S CENTRE which is near to outram mrt station.
alighting the bus, i gazed around for this mysterious indo joker.
ppppp...pp. my sms sounded: ARE U HERE?
i looked around. there was one tall guy gazing and shooting bak at me. could that be him? he told me he was like 1.83M and about 78kg. quite a big man like my aiyah dudi jixialan....;9)
i was about to approach that tall guy when suddenly there was a gentle tap on my shoulder behind me......

PART 3

well....it was one of those good makan i hadn't have for a long long time.....;9). sipping in between our SHOU MEI tea, we chatted.
hawker: u know hor lee, reading ur stories is the best de-stressing i can get. laugh n laugh...u damn damn siao, man!! so much better than jack neo's copycat stories. urs all damn oliginal(original) u know....i chinese helicopted (educated)...but hor ...u singlish super powderful leh...and best i can relate all ur happenings..hahahaha....
lts: simi meh??...ledi huh?? (if he had noticed carefully, i was already levitating above my seat!.........;9)
so which on u like best?
hawker: hahahaha...ur ITALIAN GF MONICA...wow lau!! beh tahan!! real one or not? i just almost done with that and everytime i close shop....i on pc to continue ur stories...no joke! 2ooo+....read also can laugh until die!
lts: real one la....there is one part i added alot of seasoning to a HARDRODCAFE's super orgy with bitchy lusty gloria...that one jiao liao fictitious....;9). now very distracting handling clowns la....damn kek sim...those idiots who met me...YOU WON'T END UP AS ONE OF THEM HOR?
hawker: wow hahahaha!!...u damn damn bladi funny leh!! i read only. i dun post la...my ang mor cannot make it. why u think i hawker? but my char kuay teow mo ta teng, ok! (unbeatable)
hmmm...'my char kuay teow mo ta teng', this phrase sounded like some one else who said that before. oh shit!! kelvin thum aka sotong: MY HOKKIEN MEE mo ta teng!!
LTS: really huh? belanja me next time lor....packet one for me...or i visit ur stall, can?
hawker: wow lau!...u visit me...i sure kena 4D!...come, come...i add extra liao for u...my stall is at (censored for privacy).....;9)
oh yes!! i would be meeting him again. i got this strong feeling especially when he starts reading all the gayish xxx+x tales....he might be shocked out of his dingdong or he might be intrigued for more details.
that would be my next claypot sharkfin. i hope....;9)..bian jiak..bian jiak...hahahaha

PART 2

i hurried down the stairs....there! the knight in shiny armor! except this was the humble middle-aged hawker in his shiny golden S320 mercz!!
i remembered a very nice dude forummer whom i met in S280...but hell!!...this is a HAWKER in a S320 class!! the cost of it must be in the region of $300+K.
oh well...might as well hop in and see what he was up to.
hawker: hi, lee
LTS: hi...who's car is this?
hawker: hahahaha...no lah...mine la...why?
LTS: wow...hawker now damn rich hor??
he smiled. formally intro him and continued: u know lee, i just love all ur silly bo liao stories...laugh and laugh...u must print it into a book...
LTS: huh?...really meh? u r the like 5th person who asks me do that u know...u wanna invest or not? u print for me lor..hahaha..
hawker: i think i may...but ur stories damn damn long leh....i read finish ur ITALIAN GF MONICA...and wow lau!!....2000+ to go...hahahaha...anyway, i m reading and laughing like dunno what....
LTS: good lor, that's what my stories are intended for ...and u so lucky... i told myself won't meet any more idiots..i mean jokers from sbf anymore...but u gave me ur hp so i just sms u...and well...we meet.
i suggested AH YAT at turf city. cheap, cosy and friendly captains there who just loved to give me free deserts or fruits platter...;9)
off he zipped in his song song kor jurong golden mercz.....;9)

soon we were at turf city. next moment, we were ushered by vincent to a cosy private dining table.
vincent, the chio hk captain there seem to know him. strange.
LTS: leng chai, u know this my friend here?
vincent: ya la...he always comes here....he's a solid regular!
i was thinking: solid regular?? what the hell he mean by that???
hawker: no la....just come once a while with family to sup their special offer. i think today they got this ALASKAN CRAB on offer. shall we order one and then a bao chi (sharkfin soup whole)?
LTS: huh?...u kidding hor? can we go dutch and dun order so expensive or not...i not very rich u know..
hawker: what u mean?...i m giving u a treat. dun worry lah..hahaha...
LTS: er...better not. after u post in sbf i CHEAT LEECH AND EXPLOIT...i no horse run again....;9(
hawker: oh...u mean that loser who created so many polls about u...hahahaha...i m not he la..what u always call him?..what being fuck??...damn funny hahahaha....
LTS: ya...that idiot and loser....(sulk)
hawker: cheer up man!!....i m not he. dun be so dejected. i order ok..u want any other dishes?
LTS: no...thanks!...too much already.
boy!!! ALASKAN CRAB! special offer $168 each...simply steamed. the texture of those soft silky meat. and the roe...the one the captain chose for us was plumped with roe!!!
next the sharkfin whole...my goodness. in claypot stewed in season ham gravy. POWER MAN!!!...just heavenly!! u eat this simply with a garnish of towgay or bean sprout and some chinese parsley. dribble some red vinegar ...and yes! vincent knew my taste, he had a saucer of shao xin wine standby for me.
heaven!!....i was in heaven!!!....sup..sup...and sup sup!!...;9)
we chatted. soon, as usual, a platter of fruits was complimentarily served to us.
wow!! no joke! today they added taiwanese mango to the platter....;9). usually it was just watermelon, honeydew and papaya. today we got something really extra and expensive. - TAIWANESE MONSTER MANGO!!

ARRIVAL OF BURMESE PRINCE AND OIL LORD

this is just great!!...really a double GREATS!
the arrival of BURMESE PRINCE. not long after that, an oil lord came a calling me!
but let me start this FR with meeting up of a humble but super rich hawker.
guess what?
he read my bo liao stories. PM me and so so keen to meet me. bo bian. he said the magic word: I BELANJA U....he treated me to food...glorious food!!...
and this greedy piggy obliged!...;9)
FR of these 3 very interesting world apart characters ON soon.
standby.
i will keep my stories now here cos no point sharing with those at the main kopitiam.
they wanna read but then all get so emotionally derilious and upset to even deranged. so better play safe and create less hatred ...
ornitoufo.....;9)

THE RICH HUMBLE CHAR KUAY TEOW HAWKER

one day, i was replying all the flamings and flamings...non stop like hundreds and still incoming....;9(
ding ding dong dong....rang my email alert.
an weird email came in.
someone who so keen to meet up with me. he gave me all his full personal details and hp #.
ok lor...a curious pig is as closed to a dead piggy...as usual for this blurpiggy with habits die hard....;9(
set. the appointment was made. i went to meet this mysterious hawker at queenstown mrt.
ringgg...went my handphone.
LTS: yes, HAWKER....where are u?
hawker: can u come to the carpark beside the mrt. my mercz is here #1234, gold color....u will see me inside the car.
wow lau!! did he just tell me he was a char kuay teow hawker??....hawker leh....what the hell was he driving a MERCEDES??
...hmm...my curiosity worms were itching all over my pork chop now. i just couldn't wait to see how he look like....;9)
stay tuned....dun go away.....

the pains of meeting lame forumers from sbf kopitiam

WP/NSP Discussions - New Folder for TiLik




From:
SandST0RM
07:01
To:
leetahsar
224 of 224

146375.224 in reply to 146375.190
You said: "ah seng shunned boneface."
This is interesting. Why should ah seng shun boneface?

didn't u notice?
she detested vincent or ramseth, but she still DARLING him orgasmically.
maybe she also tried before to DARLING ah seng and ah seng just blandly told her:
FUCK OFF, UGLY!
and that might have started her personal sinister vendetta against ah seng.
she darling gaylord and he steamed cos in a weird uncanniness she is a pirate copy of his wife. what a sinister twist of fate!
she was intro to gaylord by ltk's goddaughter cos she bo bian....husb's biz got into legal tussle with client...BIG TIME!!
that started the shadowy liaison of desperado housewife and blurcock gaylord. the legal tussle dragged on and on. (both of them was actually pleased with it - means could meet up more often what...;9(
finally the plaintiff decided to drop the case and gaylord yaya the papaya made it looked like he won it.
yes he won no matter what. boneface still got to pay him legal fees cos the law firm wasn't his. it was his uncle's.
so friend friend, luber luber also must pay up OR else uncle sues!
might as well i continue the whole lame story....
one fine day, the sex pervert sotong called me up. told me a la mei wanted to meet him (actually me la). he asked me to tag along. he didn't tell me it was me she wanted to meet NOT him.
but sotong is a weirdo very easily succumbed to FLIRT & DESTROY. and we met in ZI YEAN. this clown was fully attired in flowery long sleeve with an equally funny looking flowery tie.
why huh? i really dunno. he told me he was meeting client later. what a creep!
we ate at the aircond more expensive ZI YEAN instead of the economical kopitiam styled one. later he tried to flirt with her in msn in very very perverted manner and that peeved the SLUG. (story exposed liao)
next we had regular meetup in my meiling. i was stupidly thinking gaylord might be our new kid of the block to take on the PAPS. knowing kaixin with his very deductive mind, i roped him into our meeting....and that sadly was another sinister liaison created.
he met with cantbeassed and jacys during one of her arrival.
then i wrote about the stupid PAU with POLL - people against upgrading, thinking and trying to save my mei ling as i feared that after upgrading hawker prices there would not be like what i was getting now.
but mainly meiling is an old folks place. u won't want things to be made too expensive for them, right?
i attended a chitchat by BAEY YAM KENG. i asked all those clowns to attend too to see what was in the towncouncil plan...and this indirectly planted a doubt in them over my intention.
my intention is simple: WHOEVER OR WHATEVER PLAN THAT THERE MAYBE FOR MEILING IF IT'S FOR THE BETTERMENT OF THE RESIDENTS HERE....take it!!
their sinister intention: WE WANT TO BE ACTIVISTS TO FIGHT THE PAPS MACHINERY...whether good or bad.
and hell they dun even reside in my area to understand the situation of the old folks living here. they are merely fighting to get a feather in their cap for future bragging should they be candidates in the next GE.
can u see the real intention here? of course, i objected! my thoughts are for the bigger good not for self glorification.
the way i treated them wholeheartedly they should have understood me better....;9(
yet because of this split of thought, we gradually fell apart. that's when i happened to be msn-ing our darling vincent one day. obviously, the slug was also online with him....and well, vincent might have snitched on me just like the slug snitching on her darling to me.
COMPLICATED?.....VERY!!
there are more happenings and discoveries i realised as our meetup followed. Finally i decided to call it a day with them cos they are getting to be more and more sinister.
this little turdy nerd is one lonely sorry soul who thought he found a bunch of FRIENDS. they treated him as one cos he would be a very useful instrument to them.
he didn't realise he still got his real role to play, ie., finished his ph D before getting into some stupid mischiefs that would end him with nothing but suffering - to himself and to his poor parents.
do the bonnie and clyde pair consider his welfare? or do they only interested in their own sinister scheme?
sotong is a clown and a lame comedy relief in this story. he zapped off when gaylord mentioned ACTIVISM. he feared that he might be implicated in whatever 'ISD' matters. now that the whole idea of this was dropped off, they FLIRT him back. the reason sotong was back cos he is an idiot always trying to be generous to pay for food and drinks.
but u all should know his CHEAT, LEECH and EXPLOIT sarcasms on me all over sbf kopitiam. you should know what kind of faked up generosity this chow ah kua really is.
there r my more insightful reports on the lame fantasick 4.
standby for collective attacks from them....;9(

LTS DARE TO LIVE THE DREAM! do u dare to live yours?

LIVE THE DREAM: spotlights, camera, action and wtf!! big hairy prick mic!!

yes!
i was there yesterday - a Sunday. i went for the audition. it was the last day.
well, i didn't make it. but i was bold enough to go.
guide: uncle, ur turn next. standing on the silver marked box. hold ur number card. intro urself and the song u wanna sing. got it?
lts: yes...sure....ok
in i went holding the #card. they photoshot me like a convict. oh..the glaring spotlight. er...what's that hanging above huh??

oh my god!
a monstrous greyish ...hairy...pricky mic!!
judge 1: relax la uncle.... (woooh! i hated it when they called me that - UNCLE!)
judge 1: ya...leelax la....dun look at the prick..i mean the mic...leelax...u can sing anytime u r ready ok, uncle.... (shit! she called me that again....;9(

so i began....
LTS: hi everyone, my name is bob my er convict # is 12358...shit if u read it in canto..yat yi sum mmmh fa*..hahaha....;9( ( *1, 2, 3...whole life cannot prosper)
hahahahaha...they laughed....;9)
i continued: i would like to sing I LEFT MY HEART IN SAN FRANCISCO.....hey!..wait!...i know u!!...u r dunno what HUSSEIN...champion in old old talentime, right?
shit! my old old already offended HUSSEIN....she smiled wryly: ok bob,...(smiled rather strangely)...anytime u r ready...belt it out.....(weak smiled)...
judge1: ann...
lts: huh?...what where got ant??
judge1:...no ANN!....oh...neber mind...just sing!
oh dear!!....i offended 2 judges at one go. she was ann hussein!
LTS: oh ya!!...ANN HUSSIEN!!....i participated in the talentime u were in...about 20+ years ago!!!...u won the contest, right...right???....(all eager now).
judge2: ya..ya...hehehe...(weak embarrassed laughter..meaning i had unwittingly told everyone there she was already a lau cha bor! i had rubbed acid into her wound. shit! still i blur blur..;9(
so...i closed my eyes. briefly meditated...and sang..
I LEFT MY HEART IN SAN FRANCISCO....*blank off!*
hell!! i forgot the lyrics...after CISCO...mati lah!!!......;9(

heck care la!...just belt it all out! finally i finished the song. i knew i was done for it too.
a cute mei mei guided me to the result room. hell! i needed a leak! off i zoomed to the gents...and ..and...wtf! not

the toilet was bloody remote. when i entered, a hunk was singing his wank...wait!...wanking his song??...what the fuck did he think he was doing!!??
he smiled bashfully at me...zipped up and zoomed out! after i released my frothy niagra fall, i too zipped up and zoomed back to the result room and waited aniticipatingly.
numbers by numbers were called. those called first were have to F off. they didn't make it. i was still sitting there. my # 12358 not called yet..hehehehe....;9)
i was in ecstasy too early...
12358...sorry, u din make it.
oh shit!...i knew it!! ok lor, my turn to F off....;9(

TOA PAYOH HUB LIVE STAGE

i exited from the audition room and headed to TOA PAYOH HUB where there was a stage.
a lame guy who just sang in the audition was up there talking to the chiobu compere.
lame guy: i would like to dedicate this song to my wife over there...my in laws there..and there...and yes...my baby boy..there...and my dog there..blah..blah..blah
compere: stop!...NO MORE THERE!! tell us what u wanna sing ?
lame guy: oh sorry...elvis' ARE U LONESOME TONITE!
wow lau! when he sang, all my goosepimples stood out...better than the coldest air cond! oh my god!!!
compere: hahahah....er..that was er...pretty good...thank u lame guy!....who's next....oh we have a cute little girl..what's ur song
little girl: u dun ve to say u love me
compere: ok..i dun say i love u..ehehehehe...hit it girl!
wow! this little girl is really little but her voice was really powerhouse! after her song, there was round of applause. everyone loved it!
compere: look what we have here...hi!..what's ur name
reply: ah seng...but hor..u can hor called me jason..
compere: ok hor..jason hor...what u wanna see for us hor...?
jason: TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR
audience burst out laughing...no joke! that was the song he actually sang...and all the lyrics ....ALL WRONG!!!
the appreciative audience and compere sang along with him. it was all in good fun...cos we realised this cute young man was actually a subnormal intelligent person. quite handsome but hiazz...too bad.
and who's next??
ME OF COURSE!!!...zoom.....up i went on stage in a jiffy!....;9)

LTS WENT TO LTD

actually i was standing among the crowd. suddenly there was a light tap on my shoulder. a LIVE THE DREAM guide smiled at me and said: uncle, u go up and sing la...u powderful man!
LTS: huh?...u know me meh?
LTD guy: yes uncle (shit! not UNCLE, again!!), we watch ur video just now in the audition...u were the uncle who said u bought a $10 shirt just for this right...hehehehe....
LTS: oh yes...so how?...i forgot the lyrics..shit!
LTD guy: neber mind la, uncle...u go up after this retarded joker ok...
and there i was standing on stage with this chiobu cute compere. i shook her soft hand.
compere: hi uncle....(omg, UNCLE again!!)....how r u?
LTS: not very good dear...i was at the audition...and hell! i forgot my lyrics...
compere: oh what a shame!...what song did u sing?
LTS: i left my heart in san francisco.....
compere: hahahaha...poor uncle...u din left ur heart la...u left the lyrics there..hahahaha...
LTS: ya hor..hahahaha....
compere: so how?....
LTS: so huh?...i beri the beh kum guan...u know...and ur boy down there edged me to come up and sing it again lor
compere: ok uncle...we let u kum guan kum guan..hahahah..hit it uncle! ( uncle!! i felt like hitting her instead!)
LTS sang: I LEFT....MY HEART.....IN SAN FRANCISCO....UP ON A HILL, IT CALLS TO ME.......
....upon the high....and windy sea (very high note)
*APPLAUSE* from the audience. i was pleasantly surprised and continued:
...YOUR GOLDEN SUN....WILL SHINE FOR ME........................(dragged and dragged..and dragged until faded.....{i very long winded u know so i could drag very long....;9)
*LOUDER APPLAUSE*...;9)
compere: steady uncle!!!....please collect the souvenir before u go....
so i went down the staircase.
compere shouted: hey uncle...!!!! dun go with my mic!!!...
so i ran back up again to return her mic..hahahaha....;9)
and it was a very satisfying experience. a deja vu 20+ yrs ago when i auditioned for TALENTIME with my guitar slinged behind my back...
i should have brought along my guitar. it would be even more interesting.
well, there went my LIVE THE DREAM...or rather my chance at the $40K grand prize...;9)

conluding part to my FUCKING TIEN LORS

in my goldfish bowl, i still got a surviving tien lor. it's bigger now. hell, it's very greedy. it has eaten many water hyacinths which i hv thrown it.
the latest one was gnawed until it was left with half a spongy leaf. luckily, i got a free supply from the temple's pond where water hyacinths grown like weeds!
i untied the plastic bag on reaching home and unload the 4 japanese tien lors into the water. the one that i have was still gnawing at the remnant of the last figment of water hyacinth leaf.
i fed my 2 goldfishes with a special fine pellet fish food. as the pellets decended into the bottom, the snails were stimulated into action.
they crawled out from the shell and were feeding frenzily. they must be damn hungry!.
i just left them there.....
a few hours late, it was night fall. i heard 'clink..clank..clank'. oh shit! i panic and thought the snails were crawling out from the bowl again and escaping.
these critters were quite smart u know. they would crawl out of the bowl and crawled everywhere. they would play hide and seek with u. when u found them, they crasped very firmly to the surface. u need quite a force to pull them out and throw them back into the bowl.
that was what happen last time when i had a pair. one crawled out and must have felled, cracked its shell and helplessly i got to steam and eat it up cos the shell was broken. it couldn't live for long with a broken shell.....;9(
no. this bunch was quite disciplined. they didn't crawl out but there over each other. my god! they were FUCKING each other. it was like a wild orgy. the 5 clambered over each other.
i noticed a proboscis kind of probe ejecting out from the side of the shell and sticking into another snail. they were squirting sperms.
the water was turned quite murky and milky.yes, it must be mating season!!
one would climb on top of the rest, slipped and fell..and 'clank' and 'clink' were heard....it was really a very whimsical sight.....;9)
what did my 2 goldfish doing?...well, they were also fucking each other. one nudging the backside of the other...then the other would nudge back....what an orgy nite in the goldfish bowl!

the extra snails i got from cb or chubby cute boss was actually a request from my cid pal.
he owned a very large koi pond. the algae was growing furiously and when he saw my goldfish bowl so spick and span from algae, he also wanted some japanese water snails.
as promised, i finally got them for him. and i really couldn't stand the murky sperm milky water.
i hastened him to come and get his tien lors...or else...yes or else! they would be dinner for me!
and he came....

well, the tien lors after having an orgasmic fucking session with all their cum spewed all over the water were resting now.
their shells were tight tucked. they were immobilised.
here came my cid pal. i told him to pick the snails himself. just leave 2 for me would be suffice.
hell!...the snails were stucked very very tightly to the wall of the goldfish bowl. he couldn't pull them apart!
as he was doing the pulling, my horny pair of goldfish swam up to nibble his arms.
he was startled and quickly withdrew his submerged hand and yelled: ur bloody snails bit me!!...got poison or not?
LTS: hahahaha...u damn damn lame leh!...my goldfishes bit u la..u so scare!
i immersed my gentle hand, stroked the tien lors lovingly...and off it detached and sank to the botton of the bowl. cling...clang...cling.... a pair was stucked together hotly bonking away. i picked up both of it and gave them to him telling him that if they bred, remembered to return me some for my dinning table..hahahaha.....;9)
hence, i siphoned and changed the murky spermy water. oh, i din waste any water.
the sperm contaminated water was used to water my plants. i think my plants would lover those extra hormonal boost...hahaha.....;9)

story ends. cute and funny?

i remembered my promise to my cid pal that i would get him some japanese tien lor or the water escargot.
i told my pal i need to get some snails. we went to the aquariums diplay outside where they had an array assortment of live seafood.
there at the highest level tank - my jap escargots! how lucky could i be! today it was half priced!
there wasn't anyone around. me being a garang bold goon climbed up with plastic bags to help myself.
then a voice yelled from my back: HEY!!!...WHAT ARE U DOING UP THERE!!??

I turned. there below was a cute chubby guy. looked like the boss to me.
i almost reached my escargot tanks. just a couple of steps. but there on the wall, it warned:
DO NOT STEP BEYOND THIS POINT. WARNING: SLIPPERY FLOOR
oh well, i descend.
LTS, turning on my charm at the chubby boss: sorry, no one here to entertain me...i wanna buy tien lor....there up there in that highest tank. (pointed my finger to the highest spot)
cb (chubby boss not ur that ok): how many kilo u want?
LTS: huh?...kilo?..u joiking is it?...i need only 4 or 5 snails...i need it to graze away the algae of my fishtank...very good and efficient algae removers u know...
cb: huh, lei yao mo kor cho?....(u something wrong is it?)
LTS: dui mm chui...sorry ya...last time i got 2 here...but one committed suicide. it climbed out of the tank and fell. the shell cracked and it kwa chor..(means died)
cb:.....haahahahahaha....so how many u want now?
LTS: er...4 will do lah...half price right?
cb:...no!...half price u eat here. take away live of dead is only less 30%...how still want?
LTS: ok lor...(smiled and shoot bak at him lovingly.....;9)
cb called one of the chinaman worker to climb up and get me 4 snails. after that he tied it up neatly and passed to me.
LTS: kei tor chin...how much?
cb: mmm kan yew...peh lei lor...hahaha....(smiled)
LTS: tor chay sai.!!!...thank you very much (one last shoot bak at him....;9)
cb gave me the snails..FREE OF CHARGE!!....