UPHEAVAL OF SIBEIKANG....dunno what better describe him now
poor sibeikang. on valentine's day, it was suppose to be a romantic surprise he planned for weeks for the wifey chiajiagong. unexpectedly, it turned out worst than his worst nightmare....
one day before D DAY......sibeikang ordered roses for wifey. as he was busy the whole day, he was only free quite late after 10pm night. by then most florists closed shops and stopped orders already.
his other resort...E florists. he found one and contact and placed order through smses....unwary that behind his back chinchiagong was observing. suspicion filled her distorted mind. wild negative imaginations were running like strayed bullets blasting every rational thoughts and trust she had on sibeikang.
"who r u smsing?....sending love msgs to teetujia is it?" she asked sarcastically.
sibeikang was irritated and was about to answer her when his cellphone rang... he answered. chinjiagong snapped and her loud blast of stereos started blaring while sibeikang was talking over the phone.
it was the florist who called to confirm the order. that is to send a bouquet of roses to chinjiagong's work place the next day.
couldn't take it any longer at the disturbing stereos, sibeikang turned and shouted back at his menacing wifey.
"Can u shut the fuckup! i am talking to someone else not my teetujia!" he yelled at her. that din shut her up. in fact it made the stereos even louder and more intense.
"FUCK THE HELL URSELF! U ASSHOLE!" retaliated the wife.
without further words, sibeikang said to the receiver, "SORRY, I THINK I CANCEL ORDER...SORRY...." and hang up.
next he passed his mobile to his wife and asked her to scroll through who he was just talking too.
well, sibeikang wasn't lying. but wife wasn't going to apologise either...and then.......leetahsar's phone rang. MY GOD! 2 am in the morning...and here i go...."WHO THE FUCK IS THIS!!!?"....."Tahsar....sorry to call u so late....can u come out for a moment...i come fetch u now....."........
and that ladies and gents was my "panda" sleep poor sibeikang gave me as VALENTINE'S DAY present. one cute fat panda me with darkened ringed eyes on VALENTINE'S DAY.....:9(
.....to be cont'd ...coming soon to ur nearest pc......
valentine's night....where romances suppose to start...WRONG AGAIN!
ringggg....! my phone rang. and i just got back from the public pool. sorry no luck today. nothing to pick :(. and hell was i hungry after my laps of non stop swim.
goodie! sibeikang coming to pick me up for dinner. of course, it would be on him. dun forget he still otang (owes) me $40 from the supposedly "go dutch" timsum weeks ago.
and REVENGE TIME....wahahaha!....;9)
p ...ppp..p..pp! that would be him downstair. off i ran in my shorts and tees and slipper.
omg! another new mini austin. so cute this one! pearly pink with white top. and OMG! i tot he was going to pour all his weepy troubles on my shoulder and what's chinjiagong doing on the front seat. shit! means i got to squeeze my fat arse awkardly into the back. it was rather claustrophic. i felt like an oversize plump sardine squeeze into a tin can. :(
i beckoned to sibeikang. using my telepathic powers, i was sensing...FIREPOWER....6....AWKARDNESS.....10+....KAYPOHNES....exploding pretty soon....
but seriously i sensed tonnes of anger within chinjiagong...and tonnes of unexplained melancholic sadness and disappointment in sibeikang...like he was thinking...i should ve married teetujia and tonight i wouldn't have to spend a dime on the yao kwee(greedy piggy) leetahsar...shit! there goes another costly lobster for the piggy sar....hahahaha....
and yao kwee piggy was exactly what i was....if not then how...me damn hungry now u know after the vigorous swim. so this piggy ate with no bound held...but dun think shrewd sibeikang was throwing another lobster to feed this piggy.
he only threw a bowl of cheapskate congee. and worst, that cheapskate place was recommended by me....TENG CHAI CHOK (congee) only cost $2 with all the charpalangs thrown in. got fish slices, pork, fishcake, peanuts, cuttlefish, fishmaw...etc..etc..
FOODIE NOTE: TENG CHAI CHOK - An unique chok or congee originated from HK. it's suppose to be a staple snack for those bumboat rowers who venture to sea to fish. and whatever things they caught in their nets, they throw them into a big pot of bubbling congee...and hence the name TENG CHAI CHOK....teng chai in cantonese means little bumboat.
after the modest humble meal, sibeikang recommended to go for jalan jalan (walking) in chinatown. me...of course i had no opinion. if i were to be home, most likely posting bo liao threads and bored more forummers crazy pulling out their hairs by the roots....now u know why many guys are getting bald here....courtesy from reading and being tortured mentally by leetahsar's bo liao postings...hahahaha....
and walk and jalan we did. 3 goons like 3 stooges so freaking quiet. not a word from sibeikang. very weird. this is not the chatty jovial sibeikang i knew....it was like sibeikang's grandfather walking beside me whom i never knew....hahahaha...
soon we went into a mall. went up an escalator...and this place brought back beautiful memories for me. it used to be a pinballs arcade. too bad i killed all the pinballs and so the arcade folded up eventually...i mean how not bankrupt if i could play whole day with just maybe $2 token. and when they about to close, i still got plenty of credits games inside the machine....pai seh...that was how good i was then.
and now this place was converted into a KTV...karaoke. there my goodness! my bunch of newly adopted godchildren all down there waiting...er...for me??? on valentine's day??? wow lau! so sweet! felt like kissing everyone of them...:)
they had booked a big room and the whole bunch went in.
i din realise how degraded our karaoke had become. in the past there were dress codes to adhere to before entering. now anything u wear or didn't wear also ok and could be admitted.
imagined this chiopek in slippers, shorts and round ts just walked in yayapapaya and belted his lungs out...
sad is the kind of business now degraded into such a shameless state....and what did our paps gov brat?...the economy was improving...and better than expected...my ass!
so for the night, it was my night..and MY WAY.....one of the powered song i blasted till i think i cracked up the speakers.
and they encored me. ok lor! i continued with chinese medleys like su rui HOLD HANDS....and for my finale song...DANNY BOY and SOMETIMES WHEN WE TOUCH...
*applause...clap..clap..clap*
and in the corner of my eye, i noticed sibeikang was sulking expressionlessly while chinjiagong kept hogging the mike and screeched her chicken slaughtering mercies...no wonder the aircond felt so much colder....
it was 2 am in the morning. karaoke closing and the whole gang dispersed. so pai seh, they footed for my share in the bill. they said i deserved it cos i really entertained them with my powered songs.....pai seh.
sibeikang sent me back in his pinky mini.
wah lau! deadbeat and deadmeat man! almost 2.30am. was reading the newspaper briefly and shit! no! the phone rang.......
"hello, tahsar is it?" whispered a voice. it was sibeikang. "wow! u were great huh! like a damn quiet dog, u sat at one corner. but when u hit it....u really hit it man!...."
"aye...beikang...me wanna sleep oredi u know?" i replied sheepishly...."there's nothing wrong with u and chinjiagong what? how come u said both of u were clashing?"
"tahsar....i very thong khor (suffering)! bo bian! infront of those jokers must act macho and pretend loving....so far u r the only person who knows what's happening, u know...."
"simi meh? real or not?" i teased him devilishly.
"k...talk to u again, she's out of the toilet now...call u again tomorrow." hurriedly the phone was hung up.....
it was 2 am in the morning. karaoke closing and the whole gang dispersed. so pai seh, they footed for my share in the bill. they said i deserved it cos i really entertained them with my powered songs.....pai seh.
sibeikang sent me back in his pinky mini.
wah lau! deadbeat and deadmeat man! almost 2.30am. was reading the newspaper briefly and shit! no! the phone rang.......
"hello, tahsar is it?" whispered a voice. it was sibeikang. "wow! u were great huh! like a damn quiet dog, u sat at one corner. but when u hit it....u really hit it man!...."
"aye...beikang...me wanna sleep oredi u know?" i replied sheepishly...."there's nothing wrong with u and chinjiagong what? how come u said both of u were clashing?"
"tahsar....i very thong khor (suffering)! bo bian! infront of those jokers must act macho and pretend loving....so far u r the only person who knows what's happening, u know...."
"simi meh? real or not?" i teased him devilishly.
"k...talk to u again, she's out of the toilet now...call u again tomorrow." hurriedly the phone was hung up.....
next day, all were quiet. me happily posting bo liao threads again...about my undies picking which now progressed into swim trunks and goggles...hahahaha...just picked another branded one TYR.
then the phone rang....."tahsar, din go out..still writing ur bo liao posts is it?" sibeikang as usual. "how? yesterday peaceful right? u sent ur rose bouquet to wifey?" i asked.
"aiyah! tarsah, after she stereo me when i was talking to the florist, the feeling of giving her the flowers was dead man..." sbk explained dejectedly. "the bloody florist said cannot cancel order so in the end u know where i sent it to?"
"er...teetujia?"
"eh...how cum u know huh?"
"sibeikang, u r damn F stupid!! wtf in the world u sent the flowers to teetujia? ur backside is really itchy right?" i scolded incessantly.
"then how...i paid for the flowers with my card already, u know....not cheap leh...hundred plus ...and teetu after getting the flowers was so happy cos it was co-incidentally her birthday too...."
"u huh...damn damn stupid and asking for it from wifey again if she finds out. she's sure going to give u 18th floors of HELL!" i warned him. "u give the flowers to anyone lah...ur mum, ur auntie...or me also can....what the hell were u thinking....giving it to teetujia...the source of all ur misunderstanding?"
"aiyah, sar ...u free tonight or not?" he finally asked.
"sure...me retired what...free every night, afternoon and morning...why?"
"wanna to makan?...i belanja u..."
"free one...sure why not...u call me lor..." end of conversation...i was sniggering away. tarsah, tarsah....u greedy piggy...free food only...everything also can...but then again now i AM their official marriage counsellor what....let see...shall i order the lobster thermidor...or may i be greedier...i order the turf and surf, i.e lobster plus carpet beef...u know the one where they stuffed juicy oysters in between thick piece of mouth watering beef steak...heeheehee...;9)
