oh dear me! dear me! remember the LAU HAN KOO AND THE SPIDER SPIRITS OF HAADYAI...

lau han koo is dead!..... lau huay just hammered and nearly broke down my door to break the news to me.

"Tah sar!boohoohoo....my ah lau is dead...boohooo." wah lau! the niagra falls were really overflowing. "and hee.hhee.." she couldn't help and snicker did i hear correctly?...." tahsar, heehee...he dies cock stands!!heeheehahahhaa....boohooo...heeheehhaaboohooo....!" my god, for a while i thought lau huay had short circuited her blain.

I also couldn't help it and laughed in between answer, "Wait auntie,heeheehaahaa....u mean lau han koo is dead in haadyai doing those thing and the whole body dead but the cock still stands? hahhahh...heee..hee!" i just couldn't help it. can u not laugh when someone tells u a guy dies but his cock is still standing?

"Yes. hahahaha....!" she was no more sobbing. she was hilarious!

"why, auntie lau huay? hahahaha...!" i couldn't help laughing even louder. " say that again and say properly, leh."

"OH....hahha....! let me catch my breathe first....hahahaha...." she was getting delirious. "They said he had an overdose of thai viagra....and die cock stands...hahahahaha......!"

"so how auntie....ahahaha?" we were like two crazy people talking in between laughter and laughing in between talking.

"i ve told my children....my eldest son will be accompany me there to claim his ashes....what else to do?" suddenly lau huay turned sombre and serious.

"ok, lah auntie...don't be sad...han koo is really asking for it....it is all fated that he chooses to die this way...ai...don't be sad, ok," what else could i say to her but such lame consolation words. bless u auntie....u r now actually free of the torment.....

the saga of LAU HAN KOO AND THE SPIDER SPIRITS OF HAADYAI has to come to an abrupt end...i was feeling rather uneasy....did my chanting go into super over drive and drove unwittingly lau han koo's demise? see if i monk now....i would know. anyway, it indirectly freed lau huay from further torments by lau han koo...so both good and bad.
thus this episode ends here.....in a couple of days, would be lau han koo tong tong ching...so see how the funeral wake goes....sad ending. chui guo chui guo!

From:
HardRCafe
24-Oct 02:57
To:
DrBi
377 of 619

83628.377 in reply to 83628.373
....continue......
his thong was dirty and wet he has been wearing for several days straight and now his arse is infected with a thousand fleas too bad his hands are too short to scratch.

From:
leetahsar
24-Oct 06:39
To:
HardRCafe
378 of 619

83628.378 in reply to 83628.377
i heard that....is ur backside itchy? u need francisco to chrome it? :)

From:
DrBi
22-Oct 08:21
To:
leetahsar
368 of 619

83628.368 in reply to 83628.367
LEETS entertain here, Singh enetertain in the TV.

From:
leetahsar
22-Oct 09:08
To:
DrBi
369 of 619

83628.369 in reply to 83628.368
thanks. i am really flattered. but seriously, my stories entertaining, meh? one thing for sure, they were really life experiences which i had gone through and i wrote with a little bit of added pepper, salt and other seasoning to make it more exciting.
there's one during my horticultural training which i went against the principal of the school....
the one which in my nursing days where patients dropped dead infront of me.....
my trip to siam reap, cambodia for a horticultural job....
many many more....not your average happenings. oh ya, and there was this trip which i represented a local nursery to holland...wow lah, the sleaze and grease would surely perk up HRC's bloodhound into priapism (permanent mari kita).......
then there is the unfortuante choo choo - the female suicidal version, wait till u hear the male suicidal version of one of my squatter pal....
so many i wanted to write and share with u. and in every of the stories, there is some hidden morale....like the gustiness of choo choo, the complex sexuality of the italians, the impetuous hormonal surge in lau han koo which u can easily relate to the older male folks here and their illicit rendevous.....
like when i wrote about SOMEBODY GAVE ME A PLATINUM AMEX CARD, most don't believe, but seriously i had started using it and told my gof squatter pal to let me have the bills when they come....i can't really let him pay for me....paiseh. presently due to my unforthcoming luck, i can afford to settle it personally. got money must pay own bills, u know....that's my principle.
and my HUNGRY GHOSTS thread, it's real....whether u like it or not.....when it's fictitious like the one on HRC, i will auto let u know prior to the story.
stay tune...when the inspiration comes....a new story will start most probably my "adventure" in my male nursing days which completely changed my perception of life regarding its impermanence and fragility.
i jus realised what people mean when they say "itchy backside" - literally.
once, there was a sale for italian (ya italian) thongs at $2 ea....so i tot why not buy some....airier u know....
after i wore them 'cos of my big round butt, the narrow strap of cloth in between went into my "in between"....and hell, it was freaking irritating. u walk a few steps, it's like the strap of cloth would enter ur blackhole. so u gotta stop, look around...nobody...then quickly adjust by tugging the narrow strap out of your butt crack...and hell....black hole really itch...so u have it "itchy backside". FOR THOSE WITH BIG ROUND BUTT, FORGET ABOUT THONGS! :)

From:
DrBi
23-Oct 23:55
To:
leetahsar
373 of 619

83628.373 in reply to 83628.372
omani pad me honleetahsar wear a thongcovering his ding-dongs & black holebackside itchy scratch until home

From:
leetahsar
24-Oct 00:00
To:
DrBi
374 of 619

83628.374 in reply to 83628.373
hahaha....and somebody just tot i was nelson tan...for heaven buddha's sake!...i don't think i m half as funny as nelson :)
nabei, really got to give in to u for ur poetry delight and talent....laugh till "thongs" drop out!

ok, so much for the jokes....now back to the story.....
i learnt from lau huay that i really got a reincarnated tang po hu - u know the tang period cassanova - actually staying next door in the form of LAU HAN KOO. My god. i thought he was a simple old chap waiting to hit the coffin planks. how wrong was i! this is the man, yes the MAN OF THE BLOCK....the super old super deadly charged bloodhound...HRC, r u hearing this?
lau huay said every beginning of the month, her 4 married children would gave her allowances to pay for their livelihood. none of the children are staying with them. but han koo would take all the money and goes to haaydai where he breeds a brood of cheena mei-mei who r the reincarnations of the thirsty semen sucking spider spirits. gosh! with every revelations pouring out of lau huay, my eyeballs expanded a little. i got to blink if not they would explode any moment.
"now all of a sudden, he is forcing me to sell the flat." lau huay continued crying her hearts out.
"sorry auntie huay, no wonder yesterday i was in the same lift as han koo, his yun chi is not very good....", i told her. "It was like he's being possessed or something like kenna hex like that...."
"Huh, li kong simi? (what talk u?)" lau huay eyes brighten up and mouth agape widely.
"not to scare u auntie," i explained to her. "did ur husband bring back anything from his last trip there?"
"Ya, ya...he wears a few funny amulets and some stupid cheena shirts, dun know where he buys them...so ugly." she revealed.
"Can i see them...the amulets and the shirts?" i asked lau huay. she led me to her bedroom, opened the wardrobe and there the evil manifestation .....the amulets and the cheena shirts. the evil aura i sensed it. really i do. no pray pray hor....
"OK, auntie.....the amulets are evil and so are the shirts....the shirts are like the spider web. when han koo puts on, he'll be controlled through the amulets...u know like a remote controlled car..." i explained diligently to the mouth agape, eyes almost poppped out lau huay.

"aiyoo, c lah! c lah! what am i going to do?" oops! i panic lau huay. die now i asked for it! again crack eggs and finish frying it...very kaypoh u leetahsar!
"OK, auntie, calm down, calm down!" i told her almost giving her a tight slap as she was almost jumping up and down like a horny little girl. "this is what u do...." i continued, " No.1, besides these things, any other things he brought back....food, titbits....anything edible?"
"Ya, ya.... he brought back those funny looking biscuits and told me it's damn delicious and those funny looking tea leaves which he drinks everyday....." auntie replied.
"oh dear, auntie! this is no good! this is terrible!' i remarked.
"HUH HUH, mine kia wah leh! (don't scare me)" lau huay now in super shock.
"pls don't touch those things and don't think of ever eating them....they are HEXED!" i revealed to her. "How what am i going to do? tah sar, u must help me,,,boohoobooohoohoo..." there she goes again - her 2 streams of niagra waterfall.....
"auntie, if u don't mine....i do a peace chanting for u first," i asked her, " then i do a guan yin chant on these objects... it just to tone down the evil...it won't rid it as han koo already consumed those poisons....the biscuits n the tea...is it ok with u?" she nodded and thanked me gratefully. so i started my chanting....hom mani padme om....
after i finished, auntie heaved a sigh of relief. "Something wrong auntie?" i asked. "No tah sar," she replied, "i've never thought u were a buddhist...u were like laughing everyday...no worries, no sadness...i m very surpised and lucky to ve a neighbour like u." she was grateful:). "i suddenly have this sense of peacefulness in me...just now i was almost hopping up n down...now it's like my mind is clearer..."
"that's good auntie...means that my chantings are working its effect.." i continued, "it's not really finished, auntie. u ve to do something urself. when han koo is not around, u gotta bring this 2 shirts or if he leaves his amulets around....bring everything to the temple and pray over the incense. u ve to pray infront of the compassionate guan yin sincerely and diligently...if there is holy water there, sprinkle some over those things... it would help to neutralise the evil effect and han koo may come back to his senses," i taught her.
well, whether it works or not....i myself is waiting to see....boring or not? want to continue further or not? now ur turn to let me know.....
knock, knock, knock......goodness! who can that be at the door....8a.m. hadn't slept enought, leh...sheepishly, i rolled out of my bed and opened the door. It was lau huay, gosh, it was early and my bloodhound was still alerted and well, u know the morning "mari kita"... embarrassed, i opened the door half way to hide the jutting bloodhound. "ya, auntie, what's up?" shit! did i just blurted out the "up" word. my big round eyes were still in a half slit.
"thank you, tah sar...thank u for what u did yesterday and the things u taught me," lau huay was really fresh this morning and flashed her toothy dentured smile. "after u told me what to do, i immediately took all those evil infested shirts and amulets to pray in a guan yin temple...." "Oh! is it?" i interrupted.
"Ya, and i think it really works! i think it went into overdrive...no joke, so powerful!" she started to blush. i was curious as to what really happened. "well, the same night, my lau han humps me really good....i never felt like a real woman before....yesterday night was like heaven to me...." again she flashed her million dollars smile again. my goodness! lau huay, i do hope u have enough, hor and don't come here to tempt me...i good monk to be...hell my bloodhoud is now pumping...."auntie huay, anything else...i want to go back and sleep," i yawned.
"oh, oh, sorri, tahsar....i made u some frog legs congee for ur breakfast." she held up a container. what? did i just heard food?!suddenly i was alerted and now my turn to flash my million dollar smile.
so far so good....case is almost settled but really far from fully settled. I got a funny feeling this episode is going to repeat sooner than i finished slurping my mummmm yummy frog legs congee.

LAU HAN KOO AND THE SPIDER SPIRITS OF HAAYDAI

"I am selling the flat!" i thought heard a scream next door from the old uncle, LAU HAN KOO. suddenly there was silence. then a loud slam that even shook my computer screen. i was startled and decided to check what was going on.
just when i stepped out of my flat, i saw lau han koo's back walking off towards the lift landing. my next door auntie, lau ah huay was crying......
"Auntie, simi tai chee? (what's wrong?)" i asked the sobbing lau huay.
"aiyah! tah sar, u dun know...i very suffering....i very sian...i wanna to die....bohooboohooo....." she stuttered in beween sobs.
"tell me lah, auntie lau huay. maybe i can help u, leh. don't be so sad, lah...don't cry..." all my kaypoh cells all charged up and on alert.
Gosh! after hearing what she just revealed nearly made my balls dropped! wah lau, u mean to tell me uncle lau han koo is so powderful...got "chickens" farm in haadyai. his bloodhound still can stand attention meh??? this lau han koo is already 73 and still that powderful...can anyone believe it? my eyes were popping out any moment in amazement!
hey guys! patience leh, i typing at sonic speed again, ok.....

From:
DrBi
21-Oct 00:28
To:
leetahsar
352 of 619

83628.352 in reply to 83628.346
drink tiger penis soup there ??
http://wildasia.net/main/photo.cfm?photoID=296

From:
HardRCafe
21-Oct 00:22
To:
God's Ultimate Weapon (QuanHuang)
349 of 619

83628.349 in reply to 83628.345
I'm testing LTS's Ting Li (stable state of mind), but he edge it quite well. When he over-steps the boundary, I'll hump the day lite out of him.....for his good.

From:
leetahsar
21-Oct 00:23
To:
HardRCafe
350 of 619

83628.350 in reply to 83628.341
wah lau! u super greedy with super charged grey or black bloodhound hound...i already given u 5x sensation....u still want more already given u an extra X already....u want to die cock stand is it?

From:
leetahsar
21-Oct 00:27
To:
HardRCafe
351 of 619

83628.351 in reply to 83628.349
u salah or not....francisco is the one waiting for u not me, hor...i good monk to be....not anyhow flower monk...u can try nabei. he flower monk with vietnam rose...very good and experience. don't hump me....i good monk to be...chui guo chui guo!

From:
DrBi
21-Oct 00:30
To:
leetahsar
353 of 619

83628.353 in reply to 83628.351
I am straight !

From:
leetahsar
21-Oct 00:41
To:
DrBi
354 of 619

83628.354 in reply to 83628.353
me too....but can be quite wacky :)oh no! i won't end up like ji gong the mad monk,,, omigod!

From:
DrBi
21-Oct 01:01
To:
leetahsar
355 of 619

83628.355 in reply to 83628.354
2 monks , monk NB ask monk LTS...
Monk NB : Can monk fuck or not ??Mon LTS : Can ! fuck HAAYDAI SPIDER SPIRITS !Monk Nb : nabei! knn !

From:
khanaton
20-Oct 23:38
To:
leetahsar
338 of 619

83628.338 in reply to 83628.337
leetasar,
more stories leh.

From:
DrBi
20-Oct 23:46
To:
khanaton
339 of 619

83628.339 in reply to 83628.338
LEETAHSAR's blain juice low now, recharging....

From:
leetahsar
21-Oct 00:02
To:
DrBi
340 of 619

83628.340 in reply to 83628.339
ok no need inspiration already....something very dramatic just happened to my next door neighbour. very interesting....i think i do this real life story u can relate in sinkietown. here goes.....
THE LAU HAN KOO AND THE HAAYDAI SPIDER SPIRITS
WOW,WOW, WOOWWOOW WOW! do i just sounded like a dog on heat? after u hear my story which i going to tell next, u would also go wow wow wow.....

From:
DrBi
21-Oct 00:12
To:
leetahsar
342 of 619

83628.342 in reply to 83628.340
old LAU HAN KOO can still 'mari kita' or not ?

From:
leetahsar
21-Oct 00:14
To:
DrBi
344 of 619

83628.344 in reply to 83628.342
aiyoo, u all very interested in those xxx things....don't turn me into a sleazy xxx porno writer, leh....i am going to be a monk, no....don't destroy this good monk...not flower monk like u, by the way

From:
leetahsar
20-Oct 18:49
To:
HardRCafe
329 of 619

83628.329 in reply to 83628.328
so how u feel about the rendevous i wrote with u as the main actor? shiok, bad or really obscene?

From:
leetahsar
20-Oct 18:56
To:
DrBi
330 of 619

83628.330 in reply to 83628.327
u like me to continue? i got my other exciting and colorful and really funny personal real life story....like the one when i was a male nurse...seem that everyday got patient dropping dead infront of me:(

From:
DrBi
20-Oct 19:00
To:
leetahsar
331 of 619

83628.331 in reply to 83628.330
whatever stories, bring it on !

From:
leetahsar
20-Oct 19:05
To:
DrBi
332 of 619

83628.332 in reply to 83628.331
my stories really that good huh? i am very flattered...but how come only u and hrc respond? the rest all overslept already or charbok...run away or siam my thread?

From:
DrBi
20-Oct 19:49
To:
leetahsar
333 of 619

83628.333 in reply to 83628.332
outcome of monica is a yawn.froggie happy, hop for joy.no excitement, froggie hop away...

From:
leetahsar
20-Oct 19:52
To:
DrBi
334 of 619

83628.334 in reply to 83628.333
u yawn....my fingers all cramped up, u know after typing at sonic speed. keep chasing me for more some more.....and i don't get paid!

From:
leetahsar
20-Oct 19:53
To:
DrBi
335 of 619

83628.335 in reply to 83628.333
i was also hoping she could get back with paolo, too. well, MAN PROPOSE; HEAVEN DISPOSE. not u want this, means u get this...u want this normally u get that that and that but always not this......

but sincerely....all the stories real especially the sad one on choo choo my secret old flame...
the only fake one is the last one which hrc asked for it....so i just send him on a flight of sheer sensual fantasy.....chui guo chui guo.....now i ve to go purge out the sleazy and gleaze that's piling up my blain juice with more chanting....peace be with me!

From:
leetahsar
20-Oct 08:16
To:
ALL
324 of 619

83628.324 in reply to 83628.323
where the hell is HRC?!! how the sensual flight of fantasy.....you go humping or wanking....where r u? hello calling HRC, CALLING HRC, DO U READ ME? HELLO HRC....ARE U STILL IN ORGASMIC STATE....HELLO, ANSWER PLS!!


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From:
DrBi
20-Oct 08:20
To:
leetahsar
325 of 619

83628.325 in reply to 83628.324
maybe brother HRC is upheavaling ?


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Reply





From:
leetahsar
20-Oct 08:23
To:
DrBi
326 of 619

83628.326 in reply to 83628.325
means i got to start part III UPHEAVALING OF HARDRCAFE.... sorry all my blain juice now super low.....


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From:
DrBi
20-Oct 08:26
To:
leetahsar
327 of 619

83628.327 in reply to 83628.326
Upheaval of LEEtahSAT is over ?.. ...
MAMA ! it's over !....


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From:
HardRCafe
20-Oct 18:44
To:
leetahsar
328 of 619

83628.328 in reply to 83628.326
I'm still trying to cool down my bloodhound. Please continue.....


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Reply





From:
leetahsar
20-Oct 18:49
To:
HardRCafe
329 of 619

83628.329 in reply to 83628.328
so how u feel about the rendevous i wrote with u as the main actor? shiok, bad or really obscene?

hrc was a bit surprised to see such a huge room....there true enough there was the leather suit and the leather whip next to it....just as leetahsar described. hrc could feel his heart pumping and his blood rushing...weird thoughts suddenly crept into his mind. his bloodhound was slowly reving up.
another side door opened. slutty bitch gloria came out from there in a translucent lingerine. "Moli aka shut the door will u!" gloria was quite offended to see the maid, Moli aka leaving the bedroom door ajar. sluttily bitchily, gloria moved towards hrc flinging her soft slender fingers across hrc's chin.
"u must be the hotshot bloodhound, hrc...boob was telling me how desperate u wanna play with me....." she winked bitchily at hrc. by now hrc bloodhound was already protruding out of his pant. "eh, eh...." mind goodness for the first time hrc was dumb struck. he swallowed the lump in his throat. "ya,.... boob told me u love to play especially with bloodhound..gulp, gulp..." he swallowed another lump in his throat.
"Ya, and ur bloodhound is really dying to get out to eata my pussycat..hahahaha!" slutty bitch wasn't at all shy. "Moli aka, u strip too, we ve fun together..." she commanded the maid.
the xxx scene began.....HRC u wanna to tell us what that followed or u want me to continue...reply asap....
guess i would have to finish the whole thing up to the point where hrc fired all his missiles.....
slutty bitch gloria was all over hrc. she did the top and moli aka was doing the bottom half. hrc was like a mummy laid on the bed stripped naked...everything bared...a full monty with his bloodhound in attention. gloria covered hrc mouth with hers and stuck her wriggling tongue down hrc's mouth tickling even his throat. sucking and gasping for air, hrc appeared to be suffering from asphyxia. he was breathless...he was ecstatic!
meanwhile, at his bottom half, moli aka was feasting on his bloodhound which had increased tremendously and fully gorged. suck, suck, slurp, slurp,,,suck......moli aka sure enjoying that bloodhound ice cream cone.
next, gloria crept up on hrc's humongous bloodhound. slowly and tactfully she slipped down on him. the hound finally ate the pussy. "argh, ah...aaahh!' the slutty bitch was groaning in estacy. as for the moli aka, she not going to be left alone. she manouvered her way up this time to hrc's mouth and landed her pussy there where hrc slurping tongue was doing the slurping......
HRC, HRC, WHERE THE HELL ARE U....U VE TO TAKE it from here....my mind is corrupting.......chui guo! chui guo!!!
right i am really asking for it ,isn't it? ok, i broke the egg, guess i would have to fry it......and cook it all the way. here goes.....
goodness! hrc, u sure were having a good time and corrupting my mind to smitterens....zer er, u....
hrc was really basking in sheer pleasure of the flesh....suddenly, he yelled, "Yeow! ouc, ouc,ouch....ooh..ooh..erm..erm...." from nowhere, francisco appeared. he was naked too with even bigger bloodhound in attention. he was the anaconda down there. and the anaconda had slipped into hrc's blackhole....gosh! what an orgy. every sensual parts of hrc was kept very busy. francisco was gleefully humping away at hrc's blackhole..his gigantic anaconda was all the way slipping fully in and out of the hole.....
hrc could barely contained his fleshy pleasure any longer...."ah...aaahh...ahaaaahh.....!" he let out a loud long cry and it was all over. francisco let out his too. and his was also over. slutty bitch gloria was screaming in ecstasy...."yes, goda, yes goda.....yesssss......!" and she had her fill. even moli aka was spasmatic all the way...yep, she got her ,too......
well, they all laid briefly motionlessly on the bed fully deflated. francisco was still holding up hrc's leg. his anaconda had not retracted yet from the blackhole of hrc. warm juices were slowly leaking out of the hole. same went for slutty bitch gloria from her pussy's mouth.
after a brief rest, gloria bent over and gave hrc a deep frenchie. "hrc, u r the best!" she exclaimed smiling widely. "Yow, u r good whatever ur name is," added francisco. "You come ma again anytime....we love u ya ere...okie."
hrc was very pleased with himself. it was once of those fantastic moment in his life he experience such intense ecstasy. so after dressing up, he was about to leave when francisco called out. "Yeow! come ahere!" hrc got a shock. he thought francisco might be after his bloodhound like leetahsar always warning him. But no. francisco handed him a cheque with amount that really dazzled hrc. "You r great! u musta come aback again soon!" francisco was smiling and grabbed hrc and , oh my god, plunged in a deep male frenchie into hrc's wide opened mouth!
well, hrc u sure had ur day and ur super duper pay. now ur turn to tell us how much was there in francisco's cheque.
the end.

the horniness and sleaziness inspiration are pouring in....just for HARDRCAFE....the following narration is fictitious and only for fun reading and dedicated to HRC.......
MY good buddy, HRC whom i acquaint from the net kept pestering me for gloria's particular...where she lives...her number....tell me tell....my bloodhound needs the exercise real bad....
goodness...he is really driving me nuts! ok ok, don't say i din warn u about franscico's f-16 seek and destroy bazooka. helplessly i acceded to his request and gave him what he needed to know and how to handle that slutty bitch gloria.
HRC was smiling till his eyes were a slit only...like just won the toto. his conquest was like half a victory already. he called slutty bitch gloria and introduced himself as leetahsar's good friend....and didn't even meet him before. what a powerful glib of tongue he had.
expectantly, hrc proceed to gloria's spacious colonial bungalow hidden somewhere in orchard area. (HRC this is a clue to u). he pressed the bell outside the massive gate and waited. and waited. and waited......

...and waited...and waited.... (I am waiting for some response before continuing...any response. if not i taake it that most still haven't woken up from the slumber).

From:
HardRCafe
19-Oct 21:35
To:
leetahsar
308 of 619

83628.308 in reply to 83628.307
.........waited and waited and waited (actually only 3 seconds waiting time). From where HRC stand, he could see the main door of the house. And, while the second hand ticks toward the 4th second, he could hear main door opening. It was like someone is hurrying to get the door knob twisted in a snap and..........To be continued by LTS.
Warning to LTS: Better be good and juicy or else I sue you for doing injustice to my bloodhound.

right, i continue....

the house was really big. just the tarmac road leading to the shelterd lobby is like 2 bus stop away. finally hrc could saw the main door of the house opened. there standing and waving to hrc to step back before the auto gate slowly swang open.hrc was anticipating at the same time he was exhilarating excited. but not his bloodhound. it was rather limping away.
The girl at the house entrance beckoned him to come in. without further ado, hrc matched in slowly and gradually hasten his pace almost running in a 100 m dash. wah lau! in record time, he was at the main door in a jiffy all sweating and panting like a real bloodhound.
"Yes, may i help u?" the filipino maid asked the panting hrc.
"Sorry, my name is HRC...i am a friend of leetahsar who asked me to come see ur bitc...i mean mum, gloria....is she in?" hrc stuttered breathlessly.
The maid turned and looked and then back to hrc, " Ya, u can come in. mum gloria's expecting u...." she led in hrc up the stair case to a door. knock, knock, knock...."ya!" came a voice inside. "Mum, ur friend hrc is here outside, u want him to enter ur room?" the maid replied. "Ya, u bring him in...."
the maid opened the door and led in hrc. strange. nobody was inside.....

so almost everyday, i would bring choo out for stroll for anything except letting cooped up in her room and start thinking nonsense...i roped in another squatter friend, one who about similar compassionate calibre with me to help counsel choo choo.
it went on for months....soon choo told me she going back to japan to fix her eye. she assured me she ok now. no more suicidal thoughts. she had joined a christian church and had found love and faith in the almighty god. she won't going alone. her sis and mum would be accompany her.
after the operation, her eyes are as good as anyone's else. won't tell, u won't know one of which is blind.....slowly, yes and thank god, she builds up her confidence. landed a job finally and worked herself up till present state of project manager with a number of guys under her charge.
so that's the ordeals of choo choo. now many of u girls or maybe even guys think s/he can survive this? ok....now ur say...want to flame, flame...can't be bothered...choo is super now that's all i care!
shall i check on choo's date with paolo yesterday night? aiyoh, dying to know whether any sparks or not?...wait, dun kaypoh better let her call. don't spoil her enthusiasm...
what do u think of choo choo this spunky girl? and my story is real life authentic.....if bluff one, how i finsih so fast? it really brings back some kind of sadness.....choo-choo the cute big eyes, big bosom can be reduce into such.....all burnt....
now u understand better why i always said: MAN PROPOSE; HEAVEN DISPOSE......just hope the brothers here also finally understand....
don;t ponder over the past, that's history. why worry about the future, it has yet to come. live now....this moment is what ur life is all about!

sorry guys....no more continuation of choo choo with paolo happening....jus talked to choo choo. she was cursing like anything.."tah sar, u know that paolo was so busy when dining with me.." she finally told the details. "it's like every 10 minutes, his handphone would ring.... guess who on the line?"
"eh, feranando?" i retorted.
"Ya! that son of a bitch...like got nothing better to do!" she was quite upset. "The whole night hardly can talk smoothly....i think fernando had a better conversation with him than me!"
"aiya! choo, gotta to tell u this...." i really must let her know."paolo is a bisexual....and that sonaofbitch fernando is his live in lover.... guess u just have to decide for yourself."
there was a sudden awkard silence. "Choo, u still there?" i continued."Why do u think monica broke up with paolo?"
"what a shame! paolo is such gentleman. he doesn't show any displeasure in my present state....i thought he might be interested in me..." choo said in between sighs of disappointment.
"C'mon lah, choo," i tried to cheer her up. "You ve undergone the worst ordeals....what else would hurt you further....YOU R SUPER WONDER WOMAN now, u know!" She laughed over the other end. finally heard her laughter. what a relief! "So u okay, now?" i asked
"ya lah, tah sar...thanks for everything...." she replied.
we talked cock for further 15 minutes so on and finally hanged up.
so there u r the ending of the story......sorry no go for choo and paolo. as for fernando, let me quote from monica: This sonaofbitch can go and sucka the peperoni!

"Quick, tah sar, go to the hospital immediately....something terrible happens to choo choo again!" hey, it was like deja vu....history repeated..."What now?" i said sheepishly from my rudely awaken sleep.
"choo just committed suicide and nearly blew up her entire flat...." came the shocking reply. "WHAT!!!" suddenly shocked out of my bed.
Off i rushed to the hospital once more. oh dear, oh really dear dear!... choo was in the emergency room undergoing intensive surgery.
i was thankful the whole bunch of squatter gang were there. choo's mum was weeping and wailing away.i thought i heard her cursing john. yes, she was cursing the whole generation of john. curiously i approached her to console her and to know the reason to choo's mishap.
"That sonofabitch john has taken all choo's money and saving and ran off to don't know where...." she said in between sobs and wailings. "That bastard really kills choo this time!"
I learnt john asconded with all choo's money. they started a business in partnership so got joint account. choo who was so trusting in john poured in all her savings, the insurance claim money from her accident and john just ran off with everything she got.....
she was heartbroken. cheated. angry. sad.....all the negative emotions rolled in. finally she felt hopeless and meaningless. she on the gas, closed all the windows and waited for it to take its toll on her. she had no more will to continue living.....
the gas kept emitting out slowly filling her enclosed unit. but she was still alert and like nothing going to happen. unwittingly, she was getting bored and she lit a cigarette. KABOOM! One of the wall also came tumbling down. it was a quick flash burn but enough to melt the artificial cosmetic eye of choo. 2 of her fingers were badly burnt that need to be amputated. one of her arm seriously roasted that she would have difficulty moving it and have to wear some kind of special gauze over the affected part for the rest of her life......
what was i going to do? would this have happen if i patho and maybe marry her? i was so so guilty........
in the end, was a relieve.the doctor said quite serious burn but she was out of critical condition and gotta hospitalised for quite some time. once again, choo was mummified. i couldn't stand it any longer and excused myself to the toilet to really cry it out......
why, why? i kept asking myself that such tragedy could have happened to such a nice sporting girl like choo choo...... as i brood over an answer, the lump of emotion was choking my throat once more. without knowing, tears was flowing down my eyes like the niagra fall.....
u won't believe it....as i wrote till here, tears are REALLY rolling down from my eyes...well, not like niagra fall....more like the jurong bird park waterfall.... gotta to stop briefly.....

INTERRUPTION FROM READER, NABREI:
Niagra Fall - 175 feetJurong Bird Park Waterfall - 100 feet
Niagra Fall is natural waterfall, Jurong Bird Park waterfall is artifical waterfall..... nabei, you liar, your tears fake.

LEETAHSAR REPLIED:
of course, to u is fake lah....have ever gone through this sort of experience or not

THE ORDEALS OF CHOO CHOO STARTS HERE......
dun want to do it in another thread....i m condensing everything into this thread and hopefully, maybe i can compile into a book ......
if fate really decrees it, choo choo might have ended up as auntie lee...if only i could go back in time.....
during our secondary school days, choo choo and i were both in the same class from sec 3 to 4. the majority of the class were girls...really chiobus alot in my class. some r were really advanced mature in their forms, u know , the pair of assets bursting out of their school uniforms.
choo choo was a petite little girl. big round gazing eyes..sweet pouting lips like su qi. though small built, overall was quite balance.
the one thing i hated about choo choo was she was really bold and always had to be the direct approach one. always trying to get fresh with me....her outlook was more like the havoc tomboyish type which could quiet dominating and intimidating. so i didn't really bother much about her. choo choo was one the most intelligient girl in our school. no one, i mean really no one ever scored a full 100% for the final exam in additional maths. well, choo did. she was overall 3rd in the entire sec 4 after the final exam. even got a prize for her maths which was top of the school.;
after the sec graduation, we went separate ways.....then we were proud again, choo choo end up top in her study in a vocational institute. she was good in every subjects except english which she flunked in her GCE so couldn't join us in polytechnic. what a pity!her vi accomplishment was published in the shitty times as she was the lst girl to top that particular course in the whole vi. fantastic my choo!
we all graduated again. the guys all went to ns, the girls to the job market. for a while very little contact. choo used to call me to date me but my impression of her was the tomboyish butchy type which i was not interested. so normally would end up chatting over the phone than going out...i could gave a thousand reasons for not obliging....regret. should ve tested her out if i know what was going to follow...the ordeals of choo choo commenced.........

it was choo choo's great misfortune to know a guy called John and her worst nightmare was about to begin when she married him. john was an average guy but real fucking sweet talker. choo was gainfully employed drawing quite a solid pay. so john proposed to choo and they were engaged and registered to be married.
one day, choo and john suddenly popped into my humble nursery. they wanted to rent an office room from me. my nursery was huge then with a built in wooden house that had toilet bigger than some hdb living room.
choo revealed to me she was engaged to john. my heart sank....what a ladylike woman she had metamorphorsied into. she was gorgeous! The same big round gazing eyes, the body forms and god....her boobs kept drawing me to them.....leetahsar, u r really one big fool to have let her slipped by the fingers....too late to regret now for soon she was going to be Mrs John.
she looked. john looked. then finally they told me maybe they should look for another suitable place. hell, i wanna to keep seeing choo choo and her boobs, of course, so i told her she could have one of the room foc, who cares! i was rich then. still, they turned me down. i think john was sensed that i was eying choo all along and even for free, he rather won't take the risk of losing choo.
ok, lah...since it was free rental and still didn't want it. so be it, lor...for the next few months, heard nothing from choo any more.
then one night, i got a call from one of my current squatter pals. "Tah sar, u must come out now!" a frantic voice echoed from the receiver. "wait, wait, say that again.." i replied.
"U must come out now and go to GH. choo choo just had a terrible accident. her car crashed and she looked like in serious condition...!"
without ado, i was off to the hospital. there choo was laying. head all bandaged up. the doctor told us she got head concussion. then he added that choo would become a one eyed jack.....her left eye was pierced and badly damaged during the crash. the whole eyeball gotta be removed.
I asked about john, her fiancee. u know what the doc said? "oh he'sfine. funny not even a scratch....."
what this bastard john just did. he manouvered the car so that all the crashes went to the passenger side. this really sonofabitch John....

poor choo....lying alone in bed if not for us the whole squatter gang there. sorry, that time still not squatters yet....all loaded professionals.....
"where john?!" i asked one of the squatters. seem that no one saw him.all i could do was look tearily at choo predicament....all bandaged up like a mummy. poor choo!

well, i tell u where john was....he was busy working out the insurance monies he could claim out of choo choo plight and suffering. Goodness! it was a real big sum as i learnt from choo-choo's mum.
it was like 5 zeros! that was alot of money. in a couple of weeks, choo was discharged but got to follow up for cosmetic surgery to her damaged eye. due to the amount of insurance money they got, choo decided to go japan for the cosmetic surgery to do up a scarred face and eye, of course.
well, that settled. her new artificial eyeball looked very real and so were all the cosmetic facial surgery...if she didn't say she blinded one eye, no one could tell.
then came another big blow out of the blue again.......

from here on, the imagination and ending i leave to the artistic and creative bros here to continue....anyway, i wish monica all the best. and choo choo can catch paolo and try to mend a broken heart and as for fernando, well he can have aids die happily ever after. if don't, then also pls don't come bother me with his bluff bluff african violets problem....see luckily i m in retirement or else i bet i would be pestered daily by the teeko perverted fernando.

mind u choo-choo is a decent girl except a bit bitchy and unttached but quite successful lady. she's also a fantastic story in herself. her life story is also not like normal average girl....she really gone through lots of suffering but now is doing very well being profitably in senior executive employment. i may start a story on her life....poor thing how much she suffered and gone through....being ketokked of her love and money by her ex-hubby...nearly die in a car accident and then nearly died again in a suicide bid.....poor choo-choo, how i hope u can rope paolo....but this time i am not kaypohing....just let nature takes it course.

great! i think this story is going to continue....choo-choo was very happy she just called me to said she and paolo is on a date tonight. goodness, it's monday red for choo instead of monday blue...good luck choo choo. hope u can rope paolo and really settle down to a better life....anyone interested in choo-choo's ordeal in life?

jus had high tea with monica and hubby alfredo at compass rose...the stupid new name is like EQUINOX....wtf is that? anyway, happily sipping and munching away when monica looked down and exclaimed:"yuck! boob, u musta cum and see the 2 ugly eyes...what isit? like 2 housefly eyes looking at u.."
i couldn't help laughing and i told them, "Well, if u r in a boat at see looking ashore at the 2 durians with raffles city where we r now in, u actually see an erected cock with 2 balls!"
hahahaha......both laughed so loud that other tables were staring at us. and alfredo, my god, laughed so much that his food stuffed mouth were like machine gun spitting the food everywhere.....it was really a priceless moment to see italian in such a mode....
after the laughter subsided, i asked monica why she broke off with paolo. gosh! i was shock with nearly my jaws dropped.... she told me paolo was a bi, that u all know what it is, right. and she couldn't stand him 'cos he just didn't want to officially marry her. he just wanted her food and her pussy. being too greedy, he also wanted fernando the teeko pervert.
then i probed further, "doesn't he got any girl now?"
"I don't think so, boob. u interested in him is it?" replied monica.
that made me laughed until my food spitted out....."No, no, monica....i thought he really wants to make up with u".
"thanks, boob, u r sure dearie..." monica looked at me lovingly. "But i gotta alfredo now and is very happy. u can tell paolo to go sucka the peperoni of fernando!" hahahaha....we laughed heartily again.
"so it's ok," i couldn't resist any further,"....i mean it's ok if i introduce a girl to paolo?"
"sure if paolo is interested. why not? but u really gotta get rido of that fernando first....this sonaofbitcha is really messing up paolo's life!" monica revealed finally.
oh i see, so fernando is the cause of all the heartbreaks here...and i thought it was the paps.
ok, choo-choo now u really U GO GIRL!. and i said i would be kaypohing.....

am really all excited...i dun think i could sleep tonight thinking of what's going to happen tomorrow when i meet monica at the airport...and paolo..how would monica react. so many permutations crossing my mind now. will she frown when she sees paolo with me. or will she be thrilled and hug and kiss paolo passionately....? hell, why am i so kay poh...
think better do my chanting and really concentrate. tomorrow is sure coming really slow for me tonight.

shit! choo choo just called and wanted to go with me to the airport. this horny girl just want to get fresh with paolo before paolo - hopefully - get fresh with monica again....hard luck choo, u can't go and pls don't sulk...u can ve fernando. that would really help to get rid of one obstruction and irritation for me to patch up the 2 love birds.

sweet horny dreams choo-choo....

wah, the sky really darkens....in another 2 hrs or so monica would land. better prepare 'cos paolo will be coming soon. leaving to the airport soon to pick monica.....let's continue tonight...got a very unpleasant feeling can't describe. something stormy is like churning...will everything go well? will monica and paolo patch up? will i get free shiok freshly prepared italian meals after this like the old times? leetahsar , u pig! stop drooling over food and get change!.....see ye tonight or maybe tomorrow...see how.

wah, the rains really poured this time.....waited with paolo at the glass exit of the arrival hall. slowly we saw monica coming out with a man.
i was thrilled to see her. she yelled: "BOOB!" and held out both her arms to hug me...goodness, monica ur mountainous chest is still as high as mt everest but u also got an extra sparetyre belly that clashed with my own sparetyre...yep! it was blue n black on my chest again. but the feeling of her mini sparetyre against mine was really a weird one.
she gave paolo who was like a kayu standing there like a blurred sotong a weak hug and a small peck on the cheek. "Paolo, how are u?". that was the only words for him. poor paolo! no blue and black like me.....

"Boob, i like u to meeta my husband, Alfredo." she introduced me to the guy who was beside her smiling all the time. "What? HUSBAND!!" did she just told me that chap was her husband. I was dazed. this mean no more make up for paolo. that is. paolo u were a cooked goose.
the hubby gave me a handshake. shit! are all italian man shook hands like fernando? u know the tickling of ring finger against ur palm.....brr!

well, my story up to here ve to end. monica's already married a couple of years. no kids but married with expanded size though the mountainous chest is still there as glorious as ever. she's here with hubby to check out the food market. it seem that she would be needing paolo advice since he's an old hand in this field....eh, i mean really experienced guy in the food market here. as for me, well, there goes my free italian meals....
oh ya, maybe u would like to know....monica gave me another 2 footer salami. this might be the last one i am getting from her. she would be back to italy with alfredo in just a couple of days....i guess paolo would be her guide during their stay here.

now it's back to more chanting to restore my tranquility. it was a week of anitcipation and didn't really turn what i expect....MAN PROPOSE, HEAVEN DISPOSE. just felt a bit pity for paolo. he should have treasure monica when she was with him and shouldn't pay an eye for an eye. in the end, he loses and presumably drowning in quiet sorrow... hey, better pass choo-choo the new info and give her another big "U go girl!". it's better that paolo humps bitchy choo-choo than he humps or being humped by the perverted teeko fernando.

from there on, it would be up to fate...whether choo-choo would get paolo or paolo would be taken by fernando...whatever it entails, i am out of the picture for good. it's really too messy for me anticipate the final outcome.

the end. any applause?

From:
BluBeng (forestgun)
15-Oct 02:38
To:
DrBi
233 of 619

83628.233 in reply to 83628.217
CONfucious say: Man with SEX problem goes to bed and WAKE UP with SOLUTION in hand.


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From:
DrBi
15-Oct 03:11
To:
BluBeng (forestgun)
234 of 619

83628.234 in reply to 83628.233
Confucius Say .....A Penis is the only thing that a woman hopes she will find hard to handle.
Confucius Say Some Sex Is Good...More Is Better...Too Much Is Just About Right
Confucius Say A Shotgun wedding is a case of wife or death.
Confucius Say A penis has a hole in the end so men can be open minded.
Confucius Say Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you'll have a pretty good idea how she'll be in bed.
Confucius Say It's ok to let a fool kiss you, but don't let a kiss fool you.
Confucius Say Men screw with dicks; women screw with minds.
Confucius Say To make a long story short, don't tell it.
Confucius Say Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.
Confucius Say Never argue with a fool...he may be doing the same thing.
Confucius Say The best way to keep your word is not to give it.
Confucius Say The wise speak when they have something to say, the fools speak when they have to say something.
Confucius Say A Politician is one who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Confucius Say Never marry a woman with big hands. It will make your dick look smaller
Confucius Say Men are like spray paint. One squeeze and they're all over you.
Confucius Say Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.
Confucius Say An Austrailian Kiss is similar to French Kiss, but given down under.
Confucius SayWhen lady say no, she mean maybe when lady say maybe, she mean yes when lady say yes, she no lady.


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From:
BluBeng (forestgun)
15-Oct 03:20
To:
DrBi
235 of 619

83628.235 in reply to 83628.234
Oooooooh, i really like this one -
Confucius Say A Politician is one who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

oh,hell, hell, and hell! why did paolo of all thing go and gave fernando my phone no. he just called and bluff bluff asked me questions about african violets......sheesh, the way he asked with heavy heaving and panting made me wonder what was he doing to himself at the other end of the line. out of courtesy, guessed i just got to bluff bluff entertained him...then he got to the actual subject and asked about xxx questions....brrrr...paolo u very good kai seow!
just finished with fernando creepy conversation with goose bumps all over, the phone rang again. alamak! it was choo-choo who pestered me for paolo's number. ok, paolo, u r going to get a taste of your own medicine. in sheer wickedness, i told choo choo that paolo is still single and available. so i pushed her a "u go girl" hint. bless u paolo, here come the sinkieland bitch choo choo....and after i hanged up, i couldn't help sniggering...:)...:>...chui guo wicked me!:)heehee...