Friday, August 25, 2006

THIS IS MY CHOOBEEBEE


yes!! everyone's in luck. she read my blog. she loves it!....and she wants her pic in...so here she is....CHOOBEEBEE!

PART 3

FROM TOPMAN, joe proceeded to buy some expensive perfumes...and i was sprayed all over by him to sniff....haahaa...;9). after all the shopping, choobeeee suggested to try for HOKKIEN MEE at the food court above. off we went.
joe was rather sad and he was hidding his disappointment cos some of his pals promised to pick him up for some good bbq stingray at EAST COAST...but cancelled the appointment. that was why beebee and i was actually trying to cheer him up....
at the food court, the queue for the fabulous HOKKIEN MEE was damn long. i suggested the soup. it was a hot day and i was like the fountain of youth sweating like mad. i needed replenishment of minerals...so soups it should be best!
joe too needed those. he had been drinking like a wild water buffalo and so was beebee. soups it should be! i went to order 3 sets and footed the bill...
EXPENSIVE!! almost $30 for water!
we settled down and ate. joe loved the soup i ordered...and beebee loved it too. me...i was all too pleased for words when they were happy...i was even happier!....;9)
next the coast at the HOKKIEN MEE was cleared. beebee zoomed there to order. joe sipped his last drop of soup and he was behind her too.
they returned soon. beebee with the HOKKIEN MEE. joe with ORH JIAN or fried oysters omelette. one more round, we supped. wow!! really good but i told them mei ling street market served a deadlier HOKKIEN MEE. very generous helping and only $3 a plate.
next we ordered PAPUMDUM, an indian keropok. wow! nice and spicy! joe ordered and paid for the drinks...too bad no beer this time.
we chatted after all the cutleries were cleared. beebee this horny indo chiobu started hinting at joe again. "joe, would u like to come to my hotel. there is live band and maybe we can have some drinks?"
joe looked blankly at me. quite stunt by her impromptu and bold suggestion. i looked at beebee. quite stunt too.
"hello...what about me? am i tagging along, huh?" i asked in an offending tone.
"oops! sorry love...of course u come too lah!"
joe was rather dejected and quiet. he was greatly hurt and disappointed. he didn't expect his 'pals' to let him down at the last minute. if not he might be having bbq stingray with me at ALEXANDRA VILLAGE HAWKER CENTRE.
"er...thanks guy...er...no...i dun think i would be joining u guys," joe finally answered. "leaving tomorrow very early for K L...."
beebee snapped, "in that case joe, could u long pang me back to my hotel in ur cab..."...."hello, what about me again?" i chipped in.
"u come along lah...alamak!" they voiced in unison....;9)
after catching a cab, we sent beebee back to her hotel. she alighted not after kissing joe..left, right and middle....shit! bee, u never did that to me!
"hello...what about me??...where's my kisses?...i want deep one!!"
"bye bob!!....u marry me...i give u my deepest one...hahahaha..." she proceeded to the hotel. the auto door sliding opened, and that was the last we seen of her. joe was laughing hysterically. "bob, u fat arse!!....i can give u that if u really want...hahahaha!" shit to him!
next stop - ROBERTSON BLUE where joe was residing. joe wanted to pay the fare. i snatched to pay it cos stupid me was sitting infront. i should have let joe be the front seat passenger...so stupid of me!
anyway, i followed joe home. i intended to sense whatever nonsense there...the paranormal...forgetting that joe was actually waiting to sense me....OH MY GOD!!....and i didn't realise that until i was in his apartment!
er...no paranormal detected. the apartment was spacious with a view of the singapore river, the wharehouses, the colonial houses....it was a beautiful sight. i was glad i came with him to see it!
joe led me into his room. it was messy. the blanket was all over the floor. the pillows in a mess!....and it was dimly and sensually lit...
now my sweat started pouring again.....
he went into a room supposedly was his wardrobe. when he came back, he got 2 pieces of jade in his hands. he opened his palm and said, "bob, choose one...which one u like ...take!"
i was dumbfounded. momentarily stunt, i dunno what to say. just stood there admiring silently the deep greenish jade carving. beautiful!...but no! i couldn't accept such expensive and exquisite gift....(i might have to offer 'something' in return u know...even though i knew joe was just too gentleman).
i rejected accepting any of it. joe was surprised. he said, "take it bob!...it's for u...u gave me ur power buddhist beads ...i was very touched....u show ur care and sincerity to me..a total stranger.. i was here for ur body u know that dun u?...but now i respect u and i treat u as my good buddy!..."
with those words...i nearly melted...and touched into tears! "no joe. thank u very much anyway. i believe u plan to give those exquisite jades to someone else...so please give them to the someone elses u have in mind....not me," i told him. "by treating me as ur good buddy...that's already the most precious gift u can give me already...thank you!."
and shit! now his turn to be touched to tears. grasping firmly the 2 pieces of jade, he gave me his warm friendly bearhug.....well what to do?...piggy returned him with a piggy hug.....;9)
he thanked me profusely for all the time and trouble i stood by him when he was played out by his other "buddies". i told him to rest early and stop thinking about that disappointment and reminded him he got an early morning tomorrow.
after that, i left. yes, in a jiffy just in case he might get some funny horny idea. zoom i went! within minutes, i was in the bus on my way home.
this ended my ordeal with joe. a good gorgeous teetukong from beijing. got a strong feeling, this is not the last i would be seeing him.
....to be cont'd...AND NOW CHOOBEEBEE'S TURN.

PART 2...

then they continued to talk in indo bahasa..peeleepahlah.....peeleepailay....
suddenly joe turned to me. "bob, u know u told me those ghost stories...this morning i was almost scared out of my wits!." i was blurred and didn't know what he was blurting about. he continued, "there was continuous loud knocks on my door...and i rushed to open the door...BUT THERE WASN'T ANYONE THERE!!"....His voice ended with an high octave screech...."what do think...was it those...u know ...things?"
i laughed. "no lah joe, u must be having a dream...dun worry.." without a second thought, i removed my power beads and put it into his right wrist. "here joe, this buddhist beads i give u..."
"no..no...bob.. it's ur personal thing. if u wanna give, u should give me a new bead.." joe was reluctant to accept.
"joe, this buddhist beads i have been rolling it while chanting my sutras...it has absorbed all the buddhist scriptures..it's no more ur ordinary beads...it's ur POWER BEADS NOW!"...i boasted and exaggerated..haahaahaa...."u wear it ok...since u r leaving for phuket...and there were lots of innocent deaths from the dreaded tsunami...this will protect u, my friend."
joe was so touched. i almost saw a drop of tear gleaming at the corner of his eye....so he thanked me and continued to dig into his sandwich and beckoned to the waiter for another cold beer.
choobeebee this unabashed girl asked for a strawberry sorbet slurpie...and me the cheapest EVIAN water $1.50...
beebee just couldn't take her eyes off gorgeous joe...and joe was just chomping his sandwich away...once a while stealing a glance..ahem!...at piggy o' me.....;9)
they chatted with each other in indo bahasa again. next they exchanged addresses and contact numbers by exchanging their namecards.
after a few slurps of the slurpie, beebee asked to be excused cos joe kept on talking to me instead of her after finishing his bread. off she went to CENTREPOINT SHOPPING CENTRE just directly opposite where we were.
i told her she only got an hour...and get her arse back cos if not we will leave without her! i knew this girl once she shopped, she would forget about time....
the moment she was gone, joe complained to me, "bob, u fat arse!!" he was rather exasperated. "i come all the way here to meet u ....not ur gf!"
i was kinda touched when he said that and apologetically explained to him, "joe, i din expect her to turn up here so coincidentally...pls forgive me...i can't be in two places with 2 different people i like at the same time...can i?"
he burst out laughing...and patted my hand and told me he was kidding. he told me he liked her. she was sweet and really pretty like the japanese actress AYOMI...or dunno what mi...
"good lor, joe..then tackle her lah! what would be ur program after this?"
"i dunno bob, some pals of mine maybe coming to pick me...and later we will dine in EAST COAST for barbequed sting ray...yum yum...my favorite!" joe was slurping as he said that.
after a couple of stern sms-es, beebee returned. why the hell she been to...so long?
"aiyah, i went to do my hair lah...stylo or not?" came the reply. "wanna shop joe?....takashimaya is just nearby...lots of thing to see and buy..."
joe just loved my t-shirt which i just bought..and my goodness! the brand was co-incidentally called TOPMAN...and he simply loved it.
off we went to WISTMA ATRIA to locate TOPSHOP which sold this brand TOPMAN. what luck! all clothings there were on offer.
joe and i was engrossed in selecting our ts while beebee sulked neglected in one corner. she excused herself and went out to shop alone....haahaa...;9)
when i shopped, it was very snappy. within 10 minutes, i bought 2 pairs of round ts and there was a discount of 20%.
joe was still selecting. he got like more than 10 pieces and proceed to the dressing room to test out.
my handphone rang. it was joe. he asked me to head to the dressing room when he was testing. so i went.
oh my god, joe!! he stripped and was in calvin klein. "how do i look, bob?"....how should i answer. my jaws were agape and i was stunt!
but honestly, he really did look good in those TOPMAN ts. he liked them so much, he went out to grab some more. then to the counter to pay. it was like almost 20 pairs of ts totalling more than $300.
....to be cont'd

ARRIVAL OF CHOOBEEBEE, MY INDO CHIOBU

"hi bob!...it's me beebee!" an enthusiatic voice rang out of my handphone. "how are u my dear?"
"oh...that's a real surprise! when did u arrive and why din inform me earlier?"
"i m here for my medicals, love....yesterday nite i came...was tired so din call u...how's everything with u?" her voice getting more excited.
she then asked me to meet her at PARAGON cos she just done her medical at MT ELIZABETH HOSPITAL....and i was worry...WHY DID SHE NEED A MEDICAL?..SHE GOT SOME SERIOUS SICKNESS OR WHAT??
"are u ok, beebee?...what sickness u got?"
"silly dear!!...nothing wrong with me lah!..u forget i come every year this time for my whole body checkup?" ...sheesh!! what a relieve!
suppose to meet outside the GUCCI store in PARAGON...but where the hell was she?...there, descending from the escalator choobeebee - waving frantically and flashing her white toothy smile.
she hugged...i hugged her back. yes! the same bosomous warm beebee. peck! peck!....2 light kisses on each cheek....;9)....and the casual hi, how ..what etc...
then she hastily led me up the escalator again to a shop. we entered. she pointed to a funny looking bag with an even funnier name a MIU MIU...
she was hinting desperately at me to buy it...and how much was it?.....$1,600. oh my god!! and my sweat started niagra falling down my head....;9(
NO!...NO!...NO! was my firm and stern reply. she pouted. i dragged her out of the shop and asked her what would she like to eat.
DING TAI FONG....oh shit!! i was thinking of the cheaper version of xiao long bao at ZI YEAN...but no! she wanted that...ok lor! we descended to the basement, entered the taiwanese eatery and placed our order.
wow! she was really in a good mood and supped so many things...xiao long bao, fried rice, pork chop, garlic spinach, shui jiao soup....finally i got to stop her further order...THAT WOULD BE ENOUGH....THANK YOU!
we chatted about the usual things..how's her business ..and how's mind...HER, she opened up another 3 storey spas...MINE: i m retired...and no income, pai seh....
next came the bill, i looked at her. she looked at me....shit! means i got to pay...ok lor! and the bill was almost $60...;9(.
just then, my handphone rang...OH NO!! joe,the beijing teetukong called. "hi, bob! care to join me at the open cafeteria at orchard shopping centre?"....now the droplets of sweats turned to rivers...haahaha...;9)
choobeebee looked me. she was puzzled. yes, it was a terribly hot day...but not that hot that i was sweating like a fountain! "what's wrong dear?" she finally asked.
"oh...nothing...yesterday a pal from beijing dropped in to see me...er..u wanna meet up with him?"
"yes! why not...is he handsome??" she exuded her eagerness again.
my sweats was really like the hwang ho river now!...."er yes..er..but u know hor...u calm urself....when u meet him..can?" i stammered. she was blurred at my words. "well...er...he's a gay...and we were msn-ing for quite sometime and out of the blue he just pops in to see me!"
"oh is it?...haahahaahaa!...my god! u mean u r attractive to those too...haahaahaa!!" she was hilarious and grasping her tiny little waist as she laugh hysterically. "oh my god!...this i got to see man!!....and can i tackle him if i like him?" she just had to tease....;9(
soon we reached there. joe who was sitting alone at the opened air cafeteria with as usual his bottle of TIGER.
"hi, joe!....meet my indo gf, bee bee." i introduced.
joe gave a shocked dejected look. he stood up and shook beebee's hand. we sat down and soon joe's sandwich came..."u guys want any lunch?" he asked. we told him we just had ours...and we chatted. and joe wasn't happy. his jovial smile was no where in sight.
then beebee began talking to him in bahasa indonesian. joe suddenly lighten up and replied her in the same language. and me, luckily i knew some malay and understood what she was talking to him.
she told him i was her bf...and he told her...i was also his bf...OH MY GOD!!....;9(...and the river hwang ho started to pour!.....
...to be cont'd

2ND WHAMMIE - ARRIVAL OF CHOOBEEBEE, MY INDO CHIOBU



looks like funeral wake soon for poor o' piggy me.....

2ND WHAMMIE - ARRIVAL OF CHOOBEEBEE, MY INDO CHIOBU
Sent :
Tuesday, August 22, 2006 2:03 AM
To :
leetahsar@hotmail.com
Subject :
I'm in Sin!


BOB,
I'm in Sin so pls call me at my sin mobile no 90xxxxxx.
I have lost yr no. I'll be here till Thursday. so call me asap ok.
look forward to seeing you soon.

Regards.

another storm is brewing now.....haahaa...;9)
the clash of the chiobu gf and the beijing teetukong....over ugly like fuck...me...the bo liao piggy!....;9)









WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE NOW??

the bloody teetulauhan at the counter asked us to pay before anything else...it was like $15 per head...unlimited time there....suana, spa...plenty of 'humps', and dunno what.....rooms provided too.....

WHAT'S HAPPENING TO OUR SINKIETOWN NOW?...WHY ALL THE TEETU CAVES PROLIFERATING IN THE HEARTLAND?....WHY???

i looked at joe..joe looked at me...i looked around..and all the teetus around wrapped only in towels looked at me...and my god!! some had big bulges there...i looked at joe again...joe looked back at me....and my sweats poured down this time like a tropical heavy storm!
joe was a good man....he sensed my apprehension and uneasiness....i need to be there with him...if not paiseh as his pal...i never treated him a gay...i treated him more like a normal good pal who visited me all the way from BEIJING....so it wasn't nice to tell him to buzz since he was into this...but not me....;9(
to make things easier, joe advised me if i were uncomfortable...i could go...and precisely what i did...ME SIAM...MAI HUM...MAI HUM..MAI HUM..MAI HUMP!*...
(*courtesy of the clown: MEE SIAM MAI HUM...MAI HUM..MAI HUM...MAI HUM...MAI HUM....his lame ndp speech) http://media34b.libsyn.com/ZndpeJ12bXuYd5Z2mndtq5mllXnH/podcasts/mb/tmbs-060822-a_harmless_podcast.mp3
August 22nd, 2006
the mrbrown show: a harmless podcast
We heard the National Day Rally recently and we were concerned about some of the things that were said. So we listened to it a few times.
Podcast: the mrbrown show 22 August 2006: a harmless podcast (MP3, file size: 3mb, Time: 00:02:10)
i told joe to take care of himself and be careful...play safe and take precaution..and in a jiffy...swoosh!...swissh!...i was at maxwell hawker centre ordering my O AH MEE SUAN...lots of black vinegar please...;9)
and after the makan, i returned home. hence my sweaty tortuous experience was ended.....and i stopped sweating when i was waiting for my bus at the bus stop after walking alleys after alleys to reach it....
no really the end.....more excitement to follow the next day!!
stay tuned....MY INDO CHIOBU GF SUDDENLY POPPED IN THE FOLLOWING MORNING...and my second whammie upheaval began one more time...a double whammie now...cos the teetukong joe wanted me...and so did my horny chiobu choobeebee.....
to be cont'd......

GOD HELPS THIS BLUR PIGGY!!

in the mini teetu cave, they karaoke...my god!! all gay songs by dunno what artistes...about love...about miseries...about broken hearts...about discretion...about ostracisation...about so many unfair treatment the gays were receiving...then about love again...underground love...overhead love...and dunno what silly love.....
other than that...ok lor the songs were melodious and funky..
and then there were billard table...and table with gay couples who kept staring at this fatty piggy....and joe was also staring at this fatty piggy....and shit!...i removed my buddhist beads from my wrist and started rolling my buddhist beads in a frantic silent chanting....
shit!!..that was what exactly happened. SHIT!!...joe needed to go and shit!....so off he hasten to the toilet at the back. i was nervous. now me alone....with all the incessant shooting bak (eye signalling)....mati what was i to do??..
the stylo milo tried to fresh up with me...U NEED ANYTHING, DEAR?....what...what dear??....ER...NO...ER...NO THANK YOU...MAYBE ANOTHER CUP OF WATER WILL DO...
ok dear...here's ur cup of H 2 0...enjoy!....heehee....
what's all the 'heehee' about, huh??
DO CHANTING..AND ROLLING MY BUDDHIST BEADS....haahaa...;9)
funny u know...the teetus saw it..and their gazes turned to each other liao...except me...heng ah!! and joe was like gone for ages...i was getting worried...did he dump me ..and escaped through the back door...as all sort of crazy ideas flooded my mind as to what to do next...joe popped infront of me in the dimly lighted smokey pub table..
it startled me..i thought which bloody faggot just laid his hand on my shoulder...it was joe!! again he gave his charateristic tilt of the head, and we left the pub.
joe was damn happy and pleased with me for bring him there. he told me he just had the best cold icy beer in sinkieland. i though that would be the end of the night's tour...BUT NO!!....proceeded to the 'holy land' called RAW......
there was a wooden deck of wide stairs leading up to the entrace. wow! beautifully landscaped surrounding...
a teetukong was ahead of us and he was at the side perspex windown talking to a teetulanhankoo. BEEP! the secured door auto opened. he went in.
i told joe...DUN U WANNA EAT SOMETHING...THERE IS A VERY NICE HAWKER CENTRE HERE, U KNOW
JOE: no lah!...dun worry bob...we go in and see. if it's like what they had just described...we scramp!....
me went to the perspex window and asked the lau teetu. BEEP!! even before i opened my mouth to talk...and he told me and joe to get in quick.....
here i was now....IN THE TEETU CAVE...the PAN SHI TONG...tang san chan...in the spider spirits cave...what was going to happen hext???
........to be continued.....

THE TEETU CAVE - RAW, PAN SHI TONG

this odd teetu couple was really weird. like as though they just been to RAW...and gave a horrendous description about the place.
the lau teetukong said, "dun go there joe....not worth it!!...full of shits...full of indians...ugly...and stink like fuck!!...all very mabok type!!"
joe's eyes got bigger and stare in amazement!...."go there joe," he pointed just a few steps away. There was a pub with the signatory sign....a signboard of 6 colors were hung there on the high wall.
that one i knew. it was the gay sign....i saw them alot in SAN FRANCISCO...the holy land of the gays....if u see them hanging this sign outside their home...a funny queer banner or anything with 6 colors of the rainbow instead of 7...that home is resided with gays....
soon we departed with the old gay couple...and me was like feeling very concious...WHAT IF SOMEONE SAW ME WITH THIS JOKER NEXT TO ME??...HOW HUH??...ME SURE DIED MAN!!...sure branded .
even as i wrote this, i know after i have finished...some smart alec will start flaming and branding me...BO CHAP!!...dun care...his illusion about me...NOT MY PROBLEM...
I AM CLEAN...CLEAR...AND HAVE NOT DEFILED MY BODY...NOR MY SPIRIT...it's still as clear as the mirror....haahaa....;9)
if u think i m gay...then gay i will be to u....i can't be bother with what goes into ur contorted mind...not my problem....;9)
joe was curious. i was curious too. never seen what it was like. so i agreed to go check it out.
it was a dark narrow staircase. at the entrance, we were greeted by faggots...very guniang type....more girlish than girl...OH MY GOD!!
it was dimly lit. there were tvs from the ceiling...and the whole was quite bare. the bloody faggots were already shooting bak at this poor sweaty piggy...joe looked at him...and beckoned me to leave. we left.
along the way descending the long narrow stairs, my itchy piggy hand picked up one of the brochures, namecards...whatever that were laid at the side of the flight of stairs....
i din see what it was just grabbed..and stuffed them into my back pockets. from there we proceeded to ann siang rd which was a sloppy road. when we reached the peak, there in bright crimson neon lights...RAW...
wow lau!! this joe liked reaching his holy promised land...his eyes lit up brighter than the neon lights infront...and this kaypoh piggy...just had to peep into a pub...and guess what??
a mini teetu cave....and joe followed me to peep inside. he liked it!...oh no!!!...please dun go in...pls no...and yes...we went in....;9(
the silly piggy gong gong went in with him....like i just said, it was a mini teetu cave...and all those teetubengs were there...never expected i invent another new teetu term...
YES...TEETUBENGS...the act tough...act cool bengs...but TEETU STYLE...all men or maybe boys...but all teetus!!
the very chiohunk stylo milo bartender greeted us...presumably another teetukong...and joe was smiling...and me ...the sweats was running like the fountain of venus....haahahaa...;9)
here he went again...buffaloing down his beer....and what a beer...SUPER COLD...BEER!!...and what do i have?...
ER...PLAIN WATER PLS....(it's free...;9)....the stylo milo teetu was so kind...he gave me one with a slice of lemon...wow!!..and ice...and really shiok. after i drank it down, then i realised whether he got add any other things into it or not...haahaa...;9)
....to be continued.....

ONE TEETU IS NOT ENOUGH..AND NEXT COME TWO

From:
BabaEro11
23-Aug 16:41
To:
leetahsar
2153 of 2162

83628.2153 in reply to 83628.2152
you going to let him poke your back RAW ?


From:
leetahsar
23-Aug 17:39
To:
BabaEro11
2154 of 2162

83628.2154 in reply to 83628.2153
RAW UR HEAD!....
after i finish...sure u will be blown out of this world!!...;9)



From:
leetahsar
23-Aug 18:34
To:
leetahsar
2155 of 2162


ONE TEETU IS NOT ENOUGH..AND NEXT COME TWO

by the way....teetujia is a slutty female bitch that becomes a 3rd party...who disintegrates a family unit...
a teetukong is a male gay ...who love poking or being poked...
and me...a lovable goon...blurr like sotong...always nearly being raped by teetujia..and targeted by teetukong...but buddha blesses me...always ended up unscathed!
and my indo chiobu...well..is my chiobu gf from indonesia...one freaking rich girl!...who owns a couple of expensive spas in jarkata!
and back to my weird encounter with this gorgeous mexican teetukong from beijing....;9)
we alighted at chinatown. proceed to ann siang hill. walked through the street that linked to maxwell market hawker centre.
BINGO!!...TEETUKONG...ENCOUNTERING A TEETU COUPLE!! oh my god!!...a weird twist and turn into another pair of teetukongs!
my niagra sweating commenced once more...haahaa...;9)...looked like an impending teetu orgy soon!
joe gave his trademark bear hug again...first with a teetulauhanku...and then the young teetukia...me...what was i suppose to do??
hello..nice to me u...I NEARLY BLURTED OUT: I PRAY FOR U...hahaha...;9)
handshake..and shit!!..the same bloody ticklish with the ring finger handshake!
after all hugging, we settled down....i asked him who was who.....that gay couple was malaysian. one was a really lau...as in lau kok kok lau...a lauhankoo...the other was a very young guy...
and of course this blurcock goon would take them as father and son. and that was what i gong gong commented, "ER....both of u father and son...here on holiday huh??"
both of them was terribly upset and offended. the teetulauhan snapped, "what father and son!!??...." his tone was rather angry. "he's my bf....dun anyhow say, pleassssssse!"..
i pai seh and apologised profusely....joe was laughing his guts out. "u fat arse...u need be seriously fucked!!"...i was so so embarrassed..and sweating like rivers of no return....;9(
.....to be continued...

A WEIRD DATE WITH THE BEIJING TEETUKONG

it was a terribly hot day! by 3pm, the buffet closed. xiao long niu was so gracious to send me home. told me we should do it more often cos she had never enjoyed such a comical meal with anyone except me...haahaa...;9)
ok lor! i told her...so long i m not paying...OK LOR!...call me!....;9)
so freaking hot! the moment home, i showered in cold water which was actually quite warmed by the smothering heat.
finished and about to exit the toilet, the mobile rang. god!!...must be bj ttk....YES! BINGO! joe was on the line.
dressed up and rushed off once again for the next appointment...damn busy, hor?....dunno for what?
next venue: BUGIS JUNCTION. FOUNTAIN DISPLAY AREA.
shit! just bathed only and now the niagra sweat wetted my t-shirt....;9(
there at one corner chatting away in his pda...JOE...gorgeous JOE!!
he saw me. he abruptly hanged up. he approached me...my god!! bear hug!! "BOB!!"...."JOE!!"
like we knew each other for years...hahaha...but it was my first time i met him...seem that we knew each other for years!!...there wasn't any bashfulness...like a meeting of good o' pals....maybe he was pouring his miseries quite often through msn me at night after he finished work.
joe was a gorgeous guy...very very handsome...suave...6 packers..and filthy rich!!...;9)
an accountant working in china. he was mexican and resided in indonesia. was posted to china to handle the company's accounting....wow!! counting money...no joke!...my favourite pastime in my past...hahaha..;9)
"bob, i need alcohol. where can we have a drink?" joe asked. it was a freaking smothering hot day!
"ok, no prob...follow me..." i replied.
we went to the basement of BUGIS JUNCTION where the food court was located...Shit! like couldn't find beer leh? how?...no prob with this goon around...hahaha...;9)
i led him to COLD STORAGE...."there joe, beer!...the whole range of it...cold and cheap...which one u want..i get it for u..." i naively told him.
he looked at me wild eyed. "no...no..bob!...u silly fat arse!" he was liked laughing and irritated at the same time..."i want my beer in a pub...a cool pub...." ok lor! i led him up again to the ground floor and there we entered one.
he being a smoker, we were allocated to only one available table outside the air cond area.
joe was stunt. "why can we have our beer inside?" joe was puzzled and asked the waiter. "sorry, gov policy...and this is the only table for smokers..u cannot sit elsewhere." the waiter was embarrasingly apologetic.
STUPID SINKIE LAW!!...very very stupid!!...joe just couldn't believe...this is sinkieland...hahaha...;9)
so he ordered beer....me was skimming through the menu...sweating like hell...partly from the heat...and partly from the menu prices....;9(
and down.and down...i scrolling...oh good! jasmine tea...$4.50 only...OK!...I HAVE THAT PLS...JASMINE TEA..thank you...
joe was stunt...looked at me with eyes nearly popped out!!...and burst out laughing...JASMINE TEA!!!...BOB ARE U KIDDING??...IN A PUB???...jasmine tea!!!...hahahahaha.....!
beer $10, jasmine tea only $4.50 and came in a big pot!
we chatted and chatted.....ONE MORE BEER PLS!....and my sweat started to flow again...;9(
"so where are u staying here, joe?" i asked.
"oh, a pal was out of town and he let me used his apartment at ROBERTSON QUAY....u must come home with me tonight and keep me company, bob...u r so cute!!.." he gazed at me..hinting again...oh shit!!...my niagra sweat was turned on once more....and i asked for more servettes....haahaa...;9)
"er, when are u leaving then?"
"oh, in about 3 days time...to KL...then to PHUKET...i drop by here purposely to see u bob.....u must sleep with me tonight...."...lusty wink and a horny smirk...
...and my niagra fall of sweat was getting ever more heavier....DING! *lighbulb - idea lah!!*
phuket = tsunami = deaths = ghost= 7TH MONTH GHOSTS FESTIVAL = no nonsense .....yes...got it...*BRIGHT IDEA*
"joe....this month is the HUNGRY GHOSTS FESTIVAL...u see people praying and putting all those offerings...dun bang down any ok...or else...the ghost will follow u home..and it can sleep with u...hahaha..." my scary storytelling...leetahsar ...i never expect my storytelling to come in handy now...haahaha...;p)...." and PHUKET..of all the places u ve to go there...TSUNAMI...deaths...ghosts...spirits....and this months GHOSTS FESTIVALS...more ghosts...u scare now, joe?"
silence. YES HE NOT ONLY SHOCKED...HE WAS REALLY SCARED...and good...no more lusty hinting...I HAD IMPOTENT HIM!...hahaha....;9)
and one more beer..and another...and one more...wah lau eh!! this is water buffalo joe!! ...by the time he got his fixed, it was like 8 bottles of beer later..and that would be like $80 and my tea...$84.50 and a +++...ALMOST $90!!...for beer!!
omigod!!...and god bless me! guess i got to use my PLATINUM CARD this time....;9(
i was about to pull out my shiny PLATINUM AMEX...but joe snatched the bill away from me...and paid cash!
"no bob!! dun pay!...u r retired!!....me pay, ok!!" joe was firm and stern...ok lor!! heng ah!!...and the niagra sweat abruptly stopped flowing..hahaha...;9)
what a guy joe!....i was beginning to like him...LIKE only as a platonic pal..the neck upward not the hip downward...
me monk wannabe ...NO SEX PLS!!....
joe was beginning to hint at me once more...OH..NO, JOE!!...not that kinda look again!
luckily, i did my homework before i met him. "ok, joe," i told him, "i bring u to a place a at ANN SIANG HILL....u have ur fun with whoever there.... IT'S CALLED RAW"
"really, bob...but u must join me..ok" joe hinting at me again....how huh??...quick! code red!! modesty in dire assault now!!...think...think...THINK!!!...;9(
he wanted taxi...i told him why dun we take the bus. can see more things (and delay the time so i could really think!), what?!!...he relunctantly obliged. hopped into a bus and was on our way to CHINATOWN where ANN SIANG HILL was located just behind MAXWELL MARKET...and where RAW WAS LOCATED.
to be continued.....

THE DOUBLE WHAMMIES UPHEAVALS:

THE DOUBLE WHAMMIES UPHEAVALS: ARRIVAL OF CHOOBEEBEE AND BEIJING TEETUKONG ...AT THE SAME TIME!

woe is me!! OR double woes to be more precise!
2 mornings ago, xiao long nu was so pleased i helped her to enrol her daughter into a primary school i once taught...it wasn't my credit actually...it was rather her luck or mine? that her girl was balloted a place...
anyway she was thankful that i involved myself running here and there for her...and so today i was handsomely attired to lunch out buffet with her...HER TREAT of course!
hmmm!...yummy!...roast beef on wagon with mushroom sauce. yum..yum!!...wow! escargots, mussels, salmon, oysters, other sashimi...etc....PIG OUT TIME!!
the whole table itself was by then a mini buffet spread after the to and from so many rounds to collect all my food....YUM YUM!!
and so i dig in!.....dringgg....dringgg...dringg.....my mobile rang.
"hello...yes...yes..." i answered..., "what..what..who..what...joe...china...beijing???...what who..what??" i was stumped. who the hell is joe? ..and what beijing??....
"joe...beijing...msn....u forgot me, BOB!" a very strange accented voice from the other end.
OH SHIT!!...JOE...BEIJING...MSN!!!....that stressed up teetukong who poured his miseries onto me nightly....HOW COME HE IS HERE NOW?...WHEN I M ENJOYING MY SUMPTOUS BUFFET of all the raws???
"ok..ok...joe...," i was sweating already like niagra fall...too excited and too surprisingly unexpected his sudden appearance - NOW!...."ok ....ok i meet u later..can u call me again later about er 5pm?...right...right...ok..ok!" *click*
xiao long nu was looking at me eyes bigger than the black olives in my plate...."u ok, bob?" she could't help asking cos' my table was piled up with sweat soaked servettes...haahaa....;9)....the niagra sweat was still pouring.....
i nodded and gave her a faint smile...and continued supping my food...WHO CARES MAN!!.....food first!...;9)
after the piling up and supping all the food....i started talking cock to the xiao long niu...and my god!!....she was watching me gleefully as i was chomping my food...tearing my roasted drumstick...slurping my raw oysters, mussels, salmon and other jap sashimis...;9)
she couldn't help it. she said, "bob, it such a joy to see u eat (U PIG!).....it makes my appetite so good too...haahaa!!...next time i call u out more often...WE PIG OUT!!".....oh good!!...haahaa...;9)
to be continued....A WEIRD DATE WITH THE BEIJING TEETUKONG