Wednesday, March 15, 2006

HAVE A GOOD LAUGH....

HAVE A GOOD LAUGH....click on the above title and roftl ur guts out....hahahaha...;9)

CONTINUE LAUGHING.....:)

THIRTY LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

4. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.




6. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

10. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.




11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

13. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

15. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.




16. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

17. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

18. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

19. Procrastinate Now!

20. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?




21. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

22. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

23. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

24.They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.

25. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.






26. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

27. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

28. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

29. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.

30. I smile! because I don't know what the hell is going on.

for the weary, the toiled...and the troubled hearts....

may the light of the merciful buddha shines on u all ....dear brothers and sisters....in suffering....

NAMO ORNITOUFO.....

WISHING YOU......




Wishing you
In your busy life...

Time for Relaxation




Good Sleep




Good Health with Exercise




Someone to Dance With




A Bit of Adventure




Good Looks




But Most of All...

I Wish You Lots of Bear Hugs




And The Comforts of Real Love
Many Blessings...


May you always have love to share, health to spare, and friends that care.


But watch out for those penguins!

MY JIALAT LAU BROKER

lbt got a very faithful loyal filipino maid who on her free sunday was in orchard road with her species...chatting and potlucking all their shiok makan..yes! she was such a good cook....and er...she also electrocuted by me.

she's back in philippines now. before she left, she gave me all her info and invited me over to visit her. she told me just called her from the airport, she would send someone to pick me up. no need to stay hotel. she was like queen back home. she bought a few pieces of land and constructed a large restaurant cum residence. and she told me to cum cum see her...she would bring me around...no joke! maid also could be electrocuted by me...hahahaha...'9)

oops! back to story...

lau broker lau beh tong lived in a spacious bungalow in prime holland area. big but bare..siao loong nu knowing that i was a power horticulturist cum landscaper requested for my service.

so one fine day, i came with all my indian army to do up her spacious garden. do u know why suddenly she wanted to do?

cos the bungalow was a split level higher....and the living room faced into the lower level bungalow neigbour habited by a lau tee koo who could peep into the hall when she sat with the kar kwuee kwuee(legs wide open)..

she wanted me to plant something to screen up the otherwise opened for view mesh separating fence. i planted a row of fast growing chi lee xiang (7 miles fragrant) or botanical name..MURRAYA ODORATUM.

again her front facing area was also surrounded up by mesh wire fence and that she wanted it screened too. here i planted a row of hibsicus mix with assorted colors...

the murraya were now very thick and fully screened the neighour sight. the front portion was lovely with different colored hibiscus flowering non stop and attracted a hosts of sun birds to feed on the generous nectar from the flowers....

hardly did i notice, she was drooling while i was sweating like mad...my naked muscles and torso with my 2 sharp grape seeds (nipples) were flexing like u know arnold simiwanko(schazzeneger..how to spell that zzz name...the guy from TERMINATOR)...she was liked rubbing herself...i saw it when i momentarily looked into the hall where she was groping sliently at me...my muscles...my sweat...and dripped wet almost see through white shorts...with colored undies showing too....

it was done. i went into the hall and told her the job was finished. now pay me the money.

she kept staring at my naked sweaty torso...er...and my translucent colored undies beneath my white shorts. my overpowering mandom BO (body odor)... i blushed...and snapped her for payment.

this sLn like on the heat. suddenly her voice turned hornily sexy and asked me to follow her into her bedroom. by now she was already mrs lau beh tong liao...

me gong gong went behind her lor into her spider cave. she closed the door behind me....and...

...to be cont'd.....l9

From: Wisdoom999 14-Mar 20:36
To: leetahsar 1519 of 1528

83628.1519 in reply to 83628.1504

{u like to join this crazy gang?}

probably not...


the amount of threads so far scares me off ;-)

STORY CONT'D......

then she sat bitchily sexily on the chair giving me the on heat kind of look and asked me how much in a very low horny tone....

i passed her the bill. she read and kept sticking out her tongue like doing an oral. then she turned and asked me whether i need to shower cos my mandom bo was driving her nuts and high....

as by now u understand what a goon i am...so i said ok lor....

she directed me into the built in toilet, passed me a towel and gave me a wink. i dunno what she meant. couldn't be bother. just shut the door, stripped naked and showered...and out i sang...THERE GOES MY EVERYTHING....engelbert humperdnick...again?

as i was showering and enjoying the strong blasting spray, i tot i saw the keyhole flashed a bit...like u know an eye was peeping. omg! was i being peeped? jialat!! i was outraged of my modesty...shit!!!

there was no way i could sue right. i mean i being a chiohunk being peeped by a teeko sln...there was no way i could file a sexual harrassment complaint right? it was her home...and she could turn the table and said i exposed myself to her...and my god...in her own bedroom...mati this time....

having no choice, i covered the keyhole with a towel and finished my shower asap. changed and exited the toilet only to find sln bluff bluff sitting innocently on the chair and bluff bluff writing and holding my cheque for me...

without further ado, thanked her, grabbed cheque and scramp out of her room.....

story to be cont'd.....

MY JIALAT LAU BROKER

shanghai got the shrewdest and kannest and vilest bitch mei mei spider spirits.

my lau broker - freaking rich old chap nearly 70 - marries a young shanghainese mei mei sp sp back after she tour guided him there...and all the way back to his bedroom back in sinkieland.

she now lords over him. and she is barely 25. already got a kid for him - dunno who's actually cos the girl looks more indian than chinese - and my retired lau broker is a lauhankoo chinese.

to upkeep his youthfulness, the lau broker gotta to dye his hair black regularly, takes powederful dunno what cheena herbs this siao loong nu bought from her cheena homeland...maybe to advance him to his earlier grave then she could romp and ramp her secret indian lover...oops did i just said that...which explains why the poor lau broker is feeding other people's child and still so fucking happy..cos he can't admit the kid's simply not his. he does that he is as good as admitting he got no more sperm bullets left and is now simply wearing a colored hat, namely green....:9(

poor lau broker......for nothing go and invite shanghainess mei mei spider spirit home...and now not only she's here, her lau spider shanghainese mum also moves in...and his father in law who is so much younger than he is coming too...

goodness...this is getting exciting...my kaypoh cells full alert now...got juicy tales to come up soon...

er....u guys interested in this another real life story?.....lai yah! buy ur tickets ah!!....juicy, saucy...and really drama mama ...i mean...drama papa mama mei mei type u know...one of its unique...ONLY FROM LEETAHSAR....;9)

MY POOR LAU BROKER

lau beh tong is my broker for years since i was in secondary 2. i dunno but i think hor i look up to him as my fairy godfather cos he grants me wishes. he was and is my broker except he's retired now and looking after his supposed daughter who he thought he manufactured with siao loong nu.

sln was a shanghainese bitch. she was a tour guide waiting to devour sinkie lauhankoo especially. she was the shrewdest, vilest and kannest (dead cunning) mei mei spider spirit personified.

lau broker was once in shanghai to source for properties investment. he got many...this fairy godfather of mine. let me check...a few condos in kL...another in genting...another in penang.

australia also got a couple. his old spinister younger sis was there now...and pr there already to handle his ozzie props.

then shanghai...got a couple too. thanks to the siao loong nu, sln for short.

she met lau beh tong, lbt - for short, there. she merrily volunteered to be his guide...and bolster too during the night. of course, we all know how skilful siao loong nu is. she is an martial arts exponential in the CONDOR HEROES. and so is she in the martial arts world in the bedroom.

lbt was like having his second spring. u may like to know hor...lbt is another golden virgin ok...more powderful than urs truly...me golden...he...i think before he met sln was platinum or titanium....but now a lan cha cha (rotting lauhankoo)

so by guiding lbt, sln guided herself to his personal steamy bedroom here in holland area, sinkieland....and surprising soon there after, they married in a low key wedding reception.

of course, the fairy godson...that would be me was invited. and instead of i giving an angpow to someone young enough to be my daughter as the bride to lbt who is someone old enough to be her grandpa....she gave me a big angpow instead...saved for the frenchie kiss she nearly planted into my throat....and hell! i electrocuted her with my electrifying gazing eyes..YES! I DID ...I DID!

course after the wedding, she kept calling me to their big bungalow in holland area for dinner or just coffee and chit chat.

my chinese is very powderful...and i can slang like shanghainese u know...another inborn talent of this goon here.

and she kept asking me to visit her...soon i realised she wasn't really want me to chit chat to lbt. she wanted me to chit chat to her instead cos she lonely and din know many pals here. and she orgasmic everytime she get electrocuted by my gazing soulful eyes....hahahaha...89)

me and my big mouth again. advised her to take up some courses...the most expensive one...SHATEC...the hotel catering course we have here.

by jolly molly, she did. soon she was happily studying away. and me...well...no more going there for free makan or chit chat liao.

ltb was still brokering during that time. he hadn't really retired yet. he was still my fairy godfather always passing me shares tips...and goodness...as good as giving me money u know...and i dun feel inferior cos the money i made myself through his tips...hahahaha...;9)


we must keep our blain juices above the neck line and not southward...

this is what this pic is trying to tell us...

POWER TO THE JOHN POTATO SALAD

From: ilovesg 14-Mar 01:53
To: leetahsar 1501 of 1528

83628.1501 in reply to 83628.1500

Wah! can't believe it went over 1500 posts !! Nice recipe probably could i pop down and try your creation instead ?

From: leetahsar 14-Mar 09:48
To: ilovesg 1502 of 1528

83628.1502 in reply to 83628.1501

pls do tell us ur john's reaction after consumption.....be warned hor! it will get u realy horny....but must add in the fresh ROSEMARY for the effect...'9)

do let us know also ur overtime with gf or wifey...;9)

From: leetahsar 14-Mar 09:49
To: ilovesg 1503 of 1528

83628.1503 in reply to 83628.1501

maybe that's one of the reason italians are really juices charged up people....

refer to my italian gf story...page 1 to.....

From: leetahsar 14-Mar 10:02
To: Wisdoom999 1504 of 1528

83628.1504 in reply to 83628.1489

sorry left out this...

FOSC* : FULL OF SHITTY CRAPS.....

u like to join this crazy gang?

MY POWER POTATO SALAD....power to the john!!!

MY POWER POTATO SALAD....power to the john!!!

MY POWER DEADLY POTATO SALAD....
RECIPE:


branded potato...not local one very greenish smell local ones.
a bag of either RUSSETT, burbanks, bastagi, desiree - ex pink type or the super ex purplish potato, yukon more ex than desire...

choose only one type..choose about 4 or 5 good size ones with no shoots forming in the eyes...those are dead old ones which should ve been discarded.

homegrown rosemary a few sprigs - cut into fine chips
few pcs small butter blocks unsalted
a packet of ham chips - cheap or
minced beef - this one better - more power
creamy mayonaisse - 1 small bottle
red wine - i once used CAMUS FINE WINE....ABOUT $120/BTL OF 75CL
pinch of salt
organic soya sauce....(suppose to using it for nephew's food but he dosen't like...damn super EX a small bottle>$20)
parsley flakes from MASTER'S
virgin olive oil
sesame oil
black pepper
cumins
cinnamomum powder
finely chopped garlic about 1 tablespoon
parmesan cheese - to put in only after everything cooked and ready to serve.

method:

wash potatoes with veggie soap solution and brush skin clean from soil
add 1 or 2 tablespoon virgin olive oil into AMC pot (about>2k per set) or other stainless steel pot....
throw in finely cut up rosemary leaves, parsley flakes, 2 to 3 pcs small butter blocks.
pour in about 50 cc red wine. sprinkle a pinch of salt.
pour in about 4 tablespoon sesame oil, a few spray of organic soya sauce, few generous dash of black pepper and minced garlic.
stir with spoon and mix thoroughly and let it sit for a while...like maybe 5 minutes...
on stove to large fire. place the AMC pot over it. observed the needle. when needle hits 1 mark, open lid and stir and toss the potatoes. cover and continue heating. tone down flame to low.
when needle hits another mark, open and stir again. cover and stir again on the next mark.
continue repeating this every mark the needle hits. test the texture of potato. if cooked should be soft to bite.
when reach this stage, throw in the mayonaisse. stir through thoroughly...and let it continue to cook.
when potatoes soften, off flame and add in parmesan cheese either the grated one or powdered one. i prefer the last one....and hit one more round for about 5 minutes. so that parmesan cheese powder forms a crispy crust over the potatoes.
off flame. ready to serve.
unfinished potatoes can be kept in tupperware and put into fridge. taste better when cold.
happy cooking. healthy, good...and definitely POWER TO THE JOHN!!!

share ur testimonies after eating.....POWER TO THE JOHN!!

From: leetahsar 13-Mar 23:15
To: leetahsar 1499 of 1528

83628.1499 in reply to 83628.1498

sorry...i read the method...i also sian..

let me redo it in a simple way:

choose only one type..choose about 4 or 5 good size ones with no shoots forming in the eyes...those are dead old ones which should ve been discarded.

homegrown rosemary a few sprigs - cut into fine chips
few pcs small butter blocks unsalted
a packet of ham chips - cheap or
minced beef - this one better - more power
creamy mayonaisse - 1 small bottle
red wine - i once used CAMUS FINE WINE....ABOUT $120/BTL OF 75CL
pinch of salt
organic soya sauce....(suppose to using it for nephew's food but he dosen't like...damn super EX a small bottle>$20)
parsley flakes from MASTER'S
virgin olive oil
sesame oil
black pepper
cumins
cinnamomum powder
finely chopped garlic about 1 tablespoon
parmesan cheese - to put in only after everything cooked and ready to serve.

THROW EVERYTHING INTO THE POT AND STIR....heat up stir regular about 5 minutes so that top and bottom potatoes get evenly cooked...

there simple enough hor?...:9)

....and remember to share testimony after u consume my power to the john potato salad....

wankers can also tell us how long they can really last too....

no joke....rosemary is very aprodasiac....it stimulate ur blain juices ...and if u got kids studying for exams, hor...feed them with this in ur spaggi...not only power the johns...power the blain too....

senior citizens who take this culinary herbs often will be saved from senilis dementia...or senile old fuck syndrome.

what people are wearing inside....

inside what people waiting for bus wear...

check ur cursor on the people waiting for buses on this site: