Monday, March 06, 2006

CAMBODIA TRAVELOGUE....CONT'D

when i finally seen almost everything, i decended the narrow steps in gostan manner and on my 4 limbs. on reaching the ground, guessed who was there to greet me?

OH MY GOD!! RUAN MIAN MIAN.....of all the people ...RUAN MIAN MIAN...she brought me cambodian delicacies...goodness! after all the walking, the climbing up and down...i was really famished....so without even thanking her, this piggy went into supping action...slurp...supp...gulp...! wah! shiok hor...!! dunno what was inside...just eat lor!!! slurp ...gulp...sup!!!

the rest of the gang was shocked and looking at me gabs wide opened. oops! forgot to leave for them...tot ruan mian mian bought for them too....NO , SHE DIDN'T...ONLY FOR ME....

anyway, we were on the road again to makan lah ...what else? i very pai seh as i was the only one who got my fill...hahahaha...pai seh...;9)

then it was to those tourist butchering attractions...and there we went again ...loading all the lup sups home again- or rubbishes like what my HKie pal tam pointed out again - ....

the next day we would head back to phnom penn as the tour in SIAM REAP is tentatively ended....of course, ruan mian mian was going back with us....and she actually had a relative here where she was putting up with....

next day, the van was waiting for us in our hotel with ruan mian mian inside the van in anticipation for me of course...and again she brought some shiok food again ...for me only, of course....

this time, i really pai seh...i opened up the package and it was cambodian native kuehs....mostly in sago and polished rice with sweet coconut, peanut or tau sar fillings. this time i shared with them. everyone happy and laughed all the way till we arrived back in phnom penn.....

...to be cont'd

From: leetahsar
16:26
To: leetahmei25 unread 1371 of 1371

83628.1371 in reply to 83628.1369

the year i went to cambodia was 2000....now is 2006...meaning my twins girls the most 6 yrs old...dun tally leh...unless they are mutants affected from the orange agent things....then maybe i got a ROUGE..AND A STORM like the X-MEN....which one u like now? how much ur dowries and ang pows huh?

and i am in the process of writing my travelogue in cambodia now...ruan mian mian is now warming up to me...but this is the jiao liao one ok (extra ingredients added story)....;9)
From: leetahmei25 15:51
To: leesiaomei unread 1369 of 1371

83628.1369 in reply to 83628.1346

mei mei, i got more good news for you. I scan Ruan Mian Mian and Papa LeeTahsar foto. You see, Ruan Mian Mian carry you and leetahsar carry me.

I email foto to korkor work in Singapore. I think we can track down our papa.

I going Singapore 10 days time to look papa.

You see, Papa will give class in gardening here.

http://forums.delphiforums.com/sammyboymod/messages?msg=94885.1

Coffee Shop Talk - FREE GARDENING CLASS BY LTS notify me whenever anyone posts in this discussionSubscribe

From: leetahsar 5-Mar 22:36
To: ALL 1 of 7
94885.1

FREE GARDENING CLASS

conducted by urs truly .

VENUE: TIEN TECK PO YUAN TONG

20, JLN RAMA RAMA OFF BALESTIER

TEL; 6253 0762

DATE STARTING: SUNDAY, 19 MAR '06

REGISTRATION NOW ON...

FEES: F O C and by voluntary donations to temple

DURATION: ABOUT 8 LESSONS...if everyone is engrossed, then it would be continued every sunday...

TIME: 3 pm to about 4 pm

CONTENTS:

1. plants propagations methods

2, anuuals and veggies growing from seeds

3. fertilisers, insecticides and fungicides

4. growing african violets ( my favorite)

5. cacti growing and creating desertscape

6. orchids

7. hydroculture - growing plants in water

8. fruit trees management

9.....may follow up field trips to botanic gardens where i would show u the very interesting things to look out for here....my territory...;9)

so lai ay....come join ah! FREE OF CHARGE AH!!!

and means i will expose myself to u...the face hor...not that part ok!
CAMBODIA TRAVELOGUE....CONT'D...

we finally arrived SIEM REAP. the hydrofoil was too heavy to berth to the jetty. water there too swallow so it stopped somewhere in the middle of the MEKONG RIVER. a long narrow sampan boat with a damn long propeller rode up alongside the stalled hydrofoil.

everyone were instructed to alight onto the thin rocking incessantly sampan. i was first one to alight. being plump and clumsy, i thought just jump chun chun on the narrow landing front plank would do the trick. so i jumped....

hell! due to my heavy body mass, the front tilted downwards. i fell backwards with my shoulder sling bag immersed into the murky water. luckily i grabbed it with my right hand if not sure lost my luggage.

the boatman was terrified and hurried forward to grab me. worst, his advancing towards me shifted more weight to the already lopsiding front almost half in water now. looked like any moment me going into the water too.

but surprise surprise!! action = reaction. just as i thought i was slipping into the water, the skinny sampan rebounded the other way round like a see saw. the tail part flipped down; the head part flipped upwards bouncing me erect on my foot. it was really comical! and this action knocked the approaching rescuing boatman off balance....and he fell into the murky water instead of me...i was now standing upright as though nothing happened...hahahahah....;9)....

after a brief struggling in water, the boatman was up into the rocking sampan...and the rest of the passengers seeing this incident avoided our sampan. in the end, we had the entire sampan which could take about 20 people all to ourselves...blessing in disguise...courtesy from this comical goon...hahahahaha...;9)

the super speed skinny sampan in no time brought us to the muddy flat riverbank where everyone hopped out. there a cambodian guide was waiting for us....

before we hopped into a waiting van, he cautioned us in a dead serious tone: "PLS do not wonder off untracked pathways....got hidden mines not dug out yet....here we have the most amputees in the world...so pls don't anyhow ventured out in unmarked territory....'

after that brief, solemn and intimidating pep talk he took us to makan....then to our hotel where we rested.

once inside the hotel room, i opened my bag. oh shit!! tonnes of river water with a few ikan bilis flowed out.....all my undies were wet..that time...no ck briefs ...only china-made super absorbent SWAN panties....and they were really soaked...with some tiny ikan bilis....hell! how i knew what kind of tiny little fishes are those!! sticking all over my cotton briefs and other clothings.

i hung everything out to sun and dry lor...and hell! the sun here was really hotter than ours back home....

after wash up and a quick nap, the tour guide's van arrived. off we went to ANGKOR WAT.....

the guide brought us to some ulu pasar malam where they sold mostly craft works like straw hats, bamboo flutes, cravings, etc....being a damn hot day, i bought bamboo flutes and a pair of straw hand weaved hats...4 items for only US1...so cheap hor.... i gave the extra hat to rainbow and goodness we looked like a cowboys couple......and made the children who sold it to me so so happy...like i kena ketok already...maybe they mean in DONG.....their local useless currency....and i think US1 = 1000 dongs...something like that.....so maybe it was 10 dongs...and i gave US1....no wonder they were laughing like kena lottery like that...hahahahah....;9)

finally...finally we were at the fame mysterious ANGKOR WAT. here we were standing and already awed by the majestic entrance of this palace/temple of once a grandiose dynasty ruled over cambodia....it was really beautiful and awesome.

a concrete hand cut stone path led up to the main entrance. there was a moot below surrounded by water and was supposed to be infested with crocodiles...the palace was in the middle of a huge water lilies and lotuses pond where many funny scary creatures like crocs lurked.

we entered the first segment of this intricate palace....the main features were stone handcrafted heads of the 4-faced buddha which the guide explained in mandarin were not real buddha. they were rather the watcher and guards to the buddha...

everywhere in this now dilapidated palace, there were this 4-headed craved out figures.....and most were already infested with either lichens or mosses...they were really a few hundreds years old already....

then there were ancient ficus trees which roots grown into the hand crafted boulders which built up this palace...and in a way, the roots held the boulder in place otherwise they would just crumple away in a heap of rubble.

there were different "rooms" here and there and most occupied by a statue of the buddha or multi-arms lord siva...an influence from hindi. unfortunately, most were headless. we were told their heads had been robbed and show by thieves. some even had all their arms chopped away to be sold off...sad..:(

we were told that the ancient cambodian princess married an indian hindi prince and hence the cultural designed and religion of this place was so like hindu sculptures in india.

monks were everywhere inside there asking for alms...and many peace loving cambodians willingly offer their modest donations generously though poor themselves in terms of money or food or flowers. in return the monks blessed them by sprinkling holy water over the devotees' heads....

then we came to the king lodge. it was on a very high level. to get there we had to climb up a very steep again hand crafted narrow stone stairs....and off i started climbing using both hands and feet. u couldn't walk up erect due to the narrowness. u do that, sure u will roll down and break a neck!

....to be cont'd
CAMBODIA TRAVELOGUE.....cont'd

i am puzzled until today u know....can some one tell me : could we set alarm clock...especially ur alarm clock is a rooster...

COCKADOO.DOOD..DOOO!!! 3.30am. rooster alarm woke us up...so surprise! how cum rooster knew we were chasing 5am hydrofoil ferry...

everything for breakfast was laid on the table for us. RUAN MIAN MIAN made congee. she offered me one special large bowl...with something extra inside...omg! hardboiled turtle eggs....power to the john!...the rest only tiny quail eggs...

after a real hearty meal, ah chew was waiting at the mpv ready to send us to the jetty for the river cruise. ruan mian mian offered to carry my little luggage...and she stuffed something in...dunno what...din observed much really ...cos eyes were still a slit and half sleeping...

the morning crisp air was fantantic! so different from us here. really the type that could re-vitalise the soul...was quite awake now and hurriedly hopped onto the waiting ferry. ah chew who tried to be clever took a wrong short cut turn that ended into a long cut instead.

everyone of us rainbow, michael, thomas, tam, sam, eric and me all settled ourselves to our allocated seat. instead of enjoying the river sights, the whole bunch dozed off.....

about an hour later, i awoke. i remembered ruan mian mian stuck something into my shoulder sling bag. i checked. goodness! so thoughtful of her. she made sandwiches for me. well, the rest of the gang got to buy their lunch abroad while lucky me just sup the damn shiok sandwiches...hahahaha....;9)

then i and the boys, sam and eric climbed up the ferry to its rooftop to enjoy the river breeze and the beautiful tranquil river sceneries....many ang mors were also up here lazing so carefree on the rooftop....sipping beers.

there were wooden huts on stilts...like a kelong except smaller and dotted all over the river....then wah lau eh! naked women bathing just like that...and naked men too...and naked children...and omg! naked lau nee por (sagging breasts) of old ladies doing that too...it was such an innocent sight to behold! they just squatted around a floating wooden platform and bathed themselves merrily away ignoring the passing hydrofoil. the children however was friendly and excited. they waved and yelled at us....smiling and laughing away...an indeed childhood reminder of myself in my kampong days.......

.....to be cont'd

From: leetahsar 13:53
To: postnew 1364 of 1371

83628.1364 in reply to 83628.996

a kiss is but a kiss...it's what that's in ur mind that think it's not a simple kiss....

a kiss from leetahsar...is as innocent as a newborn babe....it's an appreciation to u....my dear du di....;9)

i kiss the sick...the healthy....the children...the adults...the girls ....the man...the chiobu...the chiohunks....the lau huay...the lau hans....the pretty...the ugly.....the shiny skinned type...the gall infested type....

A KISS IS BUT A KISS....IT'S WHAT THAT'S GOING ON IN UR MIND....ornitoufu to u.....;9)
cambodia travelogue....cont'd...RUAN MIAN MIAN

after the queer dinner of exotic meats, everyone was damn full and ah chew drove us back in thomas' mpv....

all were tired and we hit the shack the moment we reached the bungalow.

CUCKADOODOO!!...Ya, we were awaken not by the alarm clock but by a proud rooster that kept screeching damn loud.

our bodyguard cum driver was now also the chef. he made a simple breakfast for everyone. there were eggs...plentiful. thanks to our cock with his brood of chiohens and chicks. so the breakfast was boiled eggs, scrambled eggs, poached eggs, sunny eggs....all eggs with bread and butter and tea or coffee or milk....

after that, we headed out to the vast garden. so many fruit trees but the one that caught our eyes was a mango tree loaded with elephant-tusk mango. without further ado, we grabbed a pole with an attached bag and started to pluck the big tempting mango.

it was such fun....and it sort of brought me back through time when i was a kampong boy in BANSIEWSAN.....

From: leetahsar 10:16
To: postnew 1354 of 1371

83628.1354 in reply to 83628.1352

in that case i call u wo xin or heartless for treating sifu thus....;9(

then michael arrived in his mpv - a toyota 7 seaters picnic. both he and thomas hurried us to change cos bringing us to a damn shiok hotel INTERCONTINENTAL HOTEL to sup tim sum.

everyone was real excited and in a jiffy all ready to go.

it was a beautiful hotel in a luscious natural setting and was told it was the similar one operated by sinkieland.

we took a lift all the way up the highest floor to savour our damn shiok tim sum - HK STYLE. as it was cny period, after settling the bill, the captain gave us each and ang pow. no joke! inside there was 100 dong - the currency there....useless one worst than rupiahs! 100 dong is like only 5c S$.

after the makan, ah chew drove us to a very retro market...sorry forgotten what's the name...it was supposedly a russian railway station i was told....and now converted into a market...the design kinda looked like our LAU PAR SA except it was many times bigger and crowded.

michael and thomas went back to their daily works leaving us with chew. chew warned us not to give any money to beggars who were abundant there. he stressed if we started giving alms hor...many would start flocking to us like bees to honey...and some of them might start pickpocketting from us. so our alert on our wallets was on....

true enough. amputee beggars were many there. young and old .....and surprising all males. before the entrance to the market which consisted of many entrances N, S, E, W, there were a stall with a few opened baskets display. guess what they were selling?

INSECTS...MY GOD! INSECTS!!! fried chilli locusts, crickets, deep fried scorpions, worms (??), silkworms larvae,...and the most interesting black scary boiled water beetles.

i was wondering how cum all over the ground there were insects shells...the exo-skeleton of the beetle wings....now i got my answer. i observed how the ladies ate the water beetles. they prised open the 2 large hard wings, broke it, threw in on the ground and crunch the insect like peanuts....no joke! made my tongue really stuck out!

yes...u guess it...this greedy piggy went there to try a bite on every insects except the water beetle. sampled only din buy...hahahaha...;9)

there were alot of stuffs they sold there. precious gemstones, silver stuffs, brass statues....etc...the one that caught rainbow and our eyes were a funny looking "tricks" jewellery boxes made out of rosewood...damn cheap only US$3. the box was designed into different animals of the horoscope and to open it, really must crack ur mind. it was really complicated opening up the box which revealed different sized mini compartments inside...

next was the brass small figurines which was like only 7 pcs for US$1 and the ebony carvings...wow! that i loved. i bought a black ebony GANESHA - the hindu elephant god. was told that the ganesha they carved out was very special cos his nose tilted right instead of left....or was it the other way round...anyway such directioned nose mean more power to the statue....i gave that to my 2nd sis...and she like me always strike lottery..she strikes means i strike...cos she pay commission to me saying her luck has never been so good after i gave her that GANESHA which fyi is also the hindu version of GOD OF FORTUNE....

after much shopping, everyone was packed to the neck with all the charpalang stuffs bought. rainbow and her 2 sons, eric and sam bought so much like they could pai tong (set up stall) when they returned to HK...hahahaha...;9)

....to be cont'd

when all our shopping was done, gosh! time really flies when u were enjoying urself!

chew came to look for us and told us that thomas and michael were waiting for us at the bungalow for dinner. we were supposed to go back asap to prepare.

anyway we had done most of the shopping...and we went back....

on reaching home, there was a young jambu lady who greeted us....she was RUAN MIAN MIAN.....(THUNDERSTORM?)...no lah...not yet lah.

RUAN MIAN2 caught this chiohunk here...and vice versa. alamak! like got sparks flying out u know...hahahaha...;9)

michael had sent RUAN MIAN MIAN over to be our "maid". u know to wash our laundry, do the cleaning...and maybe to cook supper if necessary...especially this piggy here need food almost every hour...hahahaha ...;9)

RUAN MIAN MIAN approached me bashfully and tried to carry my stuffs to my room. our hands touched...and THE HILLS ARE ABLAZED ....WITH SOUND OF MUSIC....i liked almost heard julie andrews blasting out this song....hahahha...

RMM's faced turned pinky...omg! mine turned red...like the char siew piggy...we blushed...looked at each other big round gazing eyes...blushed some more.....:)

...to be cont'd
From: leetahsar 5-Mar 12:51
To: leetahmei25 1345 of 1371

83628.1345 in reply to 83628.1344

hold on a second? leetahmei25*......shit! it's u kei75 right....u r not mei25...all the 5...is it u??

dun drive sifu kuku lei? i m now a blur sotong swimming in circles u know....;9(
From: leesiaomei 5-Mar 11:38
To: leetahmei25 1346 of 1371

83628.1346 in reply to 83628.1340

Dear JieJie Leetahmei25,

im sooooo happy u managed to find me instead.PAPA Leetashar refused to acknowledge us as his flesh n blood!!!im already so heartbroken oven MAMA untimely death yet due with another big blow!!!!just bcos i spell his name incorrectly he denied we are his children!!!!!!!!!what should we do in order for him to acknowlege us and ''huan'' MAMA yi ke qing Bai!!i didnt know MONK WANNA BE have to be a "virgin".ANYWAY HE WASNT ONE LONG TIME AGO.............SINCE HE FATHERED US.........................................................................

From: leetahsar 5-Mar 23:51
To: leesiaomei 1347 of 1371

83628.1347 in reply to 83628.1346

BUT I AM INNOCENT....!!!! OH MY MERCIFUL BUDDHA!!!

HOW HUH???

From: BabaEro11 09:39
To: leetahsar 1350 of 1371

83628.1350 in reply to 83628.1347

Pare, you can forget to be a monk.

Never knew you have twins daughters. So big already.

How can you claim to be a virgin when you have twin daughters? Maybe your twin daughters are still virgins.

From: leetahsar 09:46
To: BabaEro11 1351 of 1371

83628.1351 in reply to 83628.1350

pare, maybe hor...just maybe only lah...dun angry....

U CAN ALSO BE MY SON U KNOW....I MEAN I FIRED SUUPER SPERM MISSISLE ...AND POP, U DROPPED OUT...AND FED U WITH SUPER FAST GROWING HORMONE...and here u are....my long lost son too...

a goon talk, dun be offended ok......;9)

From: postnew 10:03
To: leetahsar 1352 of 1371

83628.1352 in reply to 83628.1349

what wo kong..?

kong your goondu head..
From: leesiaomei 4-Mar 16:06
To: leetahsar 1337 of 1371

83628.1337 in reply to 83628.1330

Dear Leetarshar,

i noe AH KONG LAU HAU KU is a super powerful missiles shooter!!LIKE FATHER LIKE SON!!U INHERITED HIS CANNON without realising it!!!

On that lei dian jiao jia wan siang cant u remeber a anything at all???jie jie and me are twins frm ur powerful missiles!!we are born minutes apart frm each other!!!!!!those wines u guys bought to cambodia contains very high alcohol contains!!!as i heard frm auntie lucy!!u were already smiling n singing the whole nite!!!and could tell u were drunk!!!i guess at That time u already forgotton ur dream to be a monk and even forget ur own name!!!

how i wish mama can get up frm her grave n tell u straight in the face we are indeed ur daughters!!!!so many yrs have passed!and u dun even remember a single thing on that fateful day!!!we are ur creations with MAMA!!!!

From: leetahsar 4-Mar 16:50
To: leesiaomei 1338 of 1371

83628.1338 in reply to 83628.1337

TIAN AH....!!!! *TOK TOK TOK TOK...CHENG...CHENG CHENG....**(opera drumming sounded...)

this cannot be happening to me....may the mercy of buddha be on me....!.....


confirmed! u r not my girl...u addressed to ....I M LEETAHSAR....it must be the other guy...the monk in BROKENECK TEMPLE....he's identical to me...

can u please go look for him...and pls be careful of that botak...oopss...forgot...if u r boy boy...u be careful. since u girl girl ...u r quite safe

so...shoo!...go look for the other botak...HE'S UR OLD MAN!

From: leetahmei25 4-Mar 18:03
To: leesiaomei 1340 of 1371

83628.1340 in reply to 83628.1337

mei mei, Im jie jie. I find you now. I so happi n sad to hear Ruan Mian Mian passed away. Mei mei, good news. todae hospital tel me our DNA match the stains in the old cotton underpant Ruan Mian Mian preserv in the bag.

Leetahsar is our papa.

From: leetahmei25 4-Mar 18:04
To: leetahsar 1341 of 1371

83628.1341 in reply to 83628.1338

Papa, why you dont recognise us? Mei mei and I are twins. Our DNA match your underpant stains.

From: leesiaomei 4-Mar 21:01
To: leetahsar 1342 of 1371

83628.1342 in reply to 83628.1338

did u ever been been duped into cloning??or else how could there be anyone who look extactly like u??im sure u are my birth father,why are u soooo heartless for not willing to admit me as ur long lost daughter!!!!!!!!!!and jiejie is somewhere out there waiting for u too!!!

u are just a monk wanabe not a real monk of course u are my father!!!!

From: leetahsar 5-Mar 12:48
To: leesiaomei 1343 of 1371

83628.1343 in reply to 83628.1342

???B L U R ???


From: leetahsar 5-Mar 12:49
To: leetahmei25 1344 of 1371

83628.1344 in reply to 83628.1340

???B L U R ???

lagi blurrer???
THE ANGER WITHIN US

anger is a very negative force that makes a person immuned to his own compassion....in other words, it kills ur supposedly warm compassionate heart....

i had written once before...WE MUSTN'T LET DEAD PUSSIES OR HOUNDS affect the live ones....FOR THEM, IT'S ALREADY GAME OVER....but the living still need to live...and live it well and happy...

whoever dies...s/he already ended all the bad karmic relationship with u...IT'S GAME OVER for s/he. but urs...the living one has yet to write ur life story....u can be sadistic and ends it will sulking and suffering forever after...which sadly is the usual case most people here do...:(

OR....u can end it...living and enjoying happily ever after....like what this goon does...:)

that's why i said ONLY THE LAND WITHIN OUR HEART ROTS...wherever u can be ...it's actually a heaven....

it's ur mentality at looking at things...heaven and hell is within the person at the same...it's up to him to choose.

pls forgive me...but from where i sense u...u r blaming the whole world except urself....

if u can just calm ur egoistic mind...and return to ur compassionate heart...u will realise...everything will open up and reveal itself to u....u will understand...not the world is at fault...but u urself...u can't accept the things that are happening around u....

but once, u embrace that compassion within u...everything will feel so light...u must learn to let go...and kuah puah...and the darkness in u will shine brightly again...

PEACE BE WITH U....

*....humble golden words from this goon called leetahsar....onitoufo to u....:9)
and suddenly out of the blue, this posting came:
From: leesiaomei 4-Mar 03:44
To: leetahsar 1329 of 1371

83628.1329 in reply to 83628.1311

Dear Leetashar,

Mama name is Ruan MianMian.Im indeed ur long lost daughter .the nite was tian da lei pi(raining cats n dogs)MAMA N AUNTIE LUCY was being hosts to u guys and was drinking alot of beer!!!!then THUNDER STRUCK!!!!Me and jiejie was ur creation !after nite of passion!!!!!!cant u remember a thing at all???fancy MAMA still calling out ur name when she was breathing her last breath!!!!!u really cant remember anything at all????????????????????????????????????????????

MY REPLY:
CHOTTO MATTE!!! HOLD ALL UR HORSES!! u mean u got another jiejie....hold on...hold on...!! this is getting very confusing...i only went once to cambodia...how can there be 2 of u?

OH MY GOD!!! DUN TELL ME....RUAN MIAN MIAN FIRED OUT 2 GIRLS......TWINS!!!

TIAN AH....I AM INNOCENT 我 是 冤 惋!!!!

HELLO...AH MEI...u r not one of my godsons ...playing a joke on me hor....? cos i can sense one u know...i can tell who u know dun pray pray hor...I SUE U THEN U KNOW HOR....to ruin my monk wannabe dream....:9(

NB: i dun drink alcohol...i only sip a bit of red/white wine...