I WAS INFESTED WITH TEETUS.....

for the past few months, i just learned about how to msn. out of no where there were hordes of teetus (gays and lesbs) started msned me.

well, u know this goon treats everyone the same so i entertain them. i got all the time in the world to do so.

there was a hk teetu whom i flirted. he taught me many pc tricks. he even did a DRAGONSTEA DIN DEI comic strips using a bunch of cartoon cats....very funny and that was how i learned about this funky song which my niece and nephew loved it!

he taught me how to save it and listen to it without having to log on the net....and i flirted with him. he wasn't very good in english ...but i was both good in mandarin and cantonese...and so...i dunno, he was infatuated with me.

out of the blue suddenly one day, he just dropped by. i was pleasantly surprised when he called me and told me he was in town.

i met him at my queenstown mrt and brought him all the way to my home. we chatted and i served him my taiwan DING TONG WULONG tea....

then come the beckoning...he wanted me....my flesh...my tang san chan 24k golden flesh......

so i gong gong told him: CAN WE BE PALS FIRST?

it was funny this phrase later became my talisman to ward off all the teetus....

he was disappointed, of course. but he told me about his family background, where he stayed in HK with his younger sis. he hated his parents who abandoned them when they were small....

finally he gave me his HK address. my god! YUEN LONG...damn far out man. if u cross here, u will be in mainland CHINA liao...but this place hor, famous for snake soup which is sold during the cold wintry months from dec to mar...

next to come avisiting was a malaccan...who wanted me to be his sugar daddy....he must be joking. me retired and diabetic...how to sugar him? so young this boy only 20+...and so deviated...:9(.

overall a good boy just that wrong preference and certainly wrong "daddy" he thought he got...

then there was this 30+ indo boy...my god! damn damn rich and handsome. got landed property in BT BATOK and family owned a chain of restaurants all over the world...LONDON, USA, FRISCO, AUSTRALIA...etc....

HE WANTED TO MARRY ME!!...u wanna see his proposal letters...:

Dearest my leetahsar,

Hello, How are you today ? I'm so glad that I can hear from you again, I have been waiting for your reply...

Honey, I'm not lazy to write you but I don't know what should I tell you my Darling...

You are not too old for me, but I'm so glad that I found you in my life my Darling...

Can I have your mobile phone number please ?? so I can call you and talk to you on the phone...
Please keep in touch and always be faithful to me ok my Darling...

I'm still waiting for you to say yes to my wedding proposal...
Kiss and hug you from me...

teetu I

u know after i read this email...my goose pimples lasted for hours....brrrr!...sheeesh!!!...

and this guy kept pestering me to "marry" him...my goodness...what has become of this topsy turvy world?

i am sharing all these with u and i am not afraid to share it. why? cos this is to let everyone know that in this world, the types of people available are as varied as the colours u can thought of...

even those jokers here in this forum...their personalities are so varied, extremes and unpredictable....

SO HOW MANY CAN U OSTRACISE?

NONE! COS' ALL OF US FLOW THE SAME COLORED BLOOD.....

not long after this, another indo teetu came avisit me. again brought him from the mrt to my home. it was during the cny period...my gf had dumped me and returned to jarkata...but she's hinting me she's coming back for me....;9(. yes after her rich indo bf dumps her....

this teetu II was even bolder and direct and straighforward...he asked for my endowment details...u know the size, the wide, the duration...and all those freaking embarrassing details...my god!

anyway i was a nurse before...i treated it as giving anatomy class to a male organ....

then he asked me to give it to him...so here i went again: CAN WE BE PALS FIRST?....again disappointed he returned. no more news or emails or daily msn liao......one more teetu riddance!

i do not understand why perfect chiohunkS with such an attractive face, solid body and highly paid profession choose to be a gay teetu? why? is there something wrong in the human morale under current? is this the trend now? the pinks are taking over the world?...we got a pinkie clown u know....

at the same time, there was a lesbo who i think fell in love with me...she wanted me to dress up in skirt and be her lover...goodness me! a fatty in drag...like a fat KUMAR!...she's definitely kidding hor!!

and after sometime, her lesbo gf msned me....and wanted me too...oh my god!...i must be a reincarnated modern tang san chan...and so here goes my protective talisman verbal phrase....CAN WE BE PALS FIRST?

............and i used that again on the thai teetukong who just came. but this one is some one who had a lasting impression on me...he was simply gorgeous! like a movie star...rich, young, and with a very highly commendable profession in bangkok...and gotta a feeling HE WOULD BE BACK... SOON!

everything is so alluring, colourful and really tempting in this dunno what gay world which i also dunno how they located me???....

but good...they are a test to my ting li...my steadfastness...if i fail, that's it !......no more monk wannabe...if i still perserve my 24K gold mint virge...me going to be a really powered monk wannabe when i robe up...

and now i treat them as humans...no ostracising...just another wayward brothers or sisters...and if i can i shall steer them towards the right path.....towards the light...and not the darkness...

but again how could we classified whether a same sex love or relationship DARKNESS....if they are happy with one another...it's light too...

i know a few pairs of gay couples who are "married" to each other for more than 20 to 45 yrs....even better then the usual husband and wife....and they are still so loving and faithfully loyal to each other....SO TOUCHING!

how to steer them apart? tell them that's a wrong kind of relationship?.....NO WAY!.....they llive their lives; we live ours...

WE CAN'T SIMPLY IMPOSE OUR NORM STANDARDS ON SOME OF THIS 'SPECIAL' BREEDS OF PEOPLE....we can only accept them as our brothers and sisters...

and so i hope those who ve read this, open up ur minds & hearts...and ACCEPT INSTEAD OF OSTRACISE....COS' WE FLOW THE SAME COLORED BLOOD....
ornitoufo.....

THE MARRIED MAN'S SCORE BOARD

this joke is really funny...i can't help splitting my belly...hahahaha...;9)



(NOTE: a score of "0" means it was expected of him)

Simple Duties
------------

* You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty-liners with wings: +5
* But return with beer: -5
* You check out a suspicious noise at night: 0
* You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing: 0
* You check out a suspicious noise and it's something: +5
* You pummel it with a six iron: +10
* It's her father: -10

Social Engagements
------------------

* You stay by her side the entire party: 0
* You stay by her side for awhile, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy: -2
* Named Tiffany: -4
* Tiffany is a dancer: -6
* Tiffany has implants: -8

Saturday Afternoons
-------------------

* You visit her parents: +1
* You visit her parents and actually make conversation: +3
* You visit her parents and stare vacantly at the television: -3
* And the television is off: -6
* You spend the day watching college football in your underwear: -6
* And you didn't even go to college: -10
* And it's not really your underwear: -15

Her Birthday
------------

* You take her out to dinner: 0
* You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar: +1
* Okay, it's a sports bar: -2
* And it's all-you-can-eat night: -3
* It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team: -10
* You give her a gift: 0
* You give her a gift, and it's a small appliance: -10
* You give her a gift, and it's not a small appliance: +1
* You give her a gift, and it isn't chocolate: +2
* You give her a gift that you'll be paying off for months: +30
* You wait until the last minute and buy her a gift that day: -10
* With her credit card: -30
* And whatever you bought is two sizes too small: -40

Thoughtfulness
----------------------

* You forgot to pick her up at the bus station: -25
* Which is in Newark, New Jersey: -35
* And the pouring rain dissolves her leg cast: -50

A Night Out With Your Pals
----------------------------------------

* You have a few beers: -9
* For every beer after three: -2 again
* And miss curfew by an hour: -12
* You get home at 3 a.m.: -20
* You get home at 3 a.m. smelling of booze and cheap cigars: -30
* And not wearing any pants: -40
* Is that a tattoo? -200

A Night Out, Just the Two of You
-------------------------------------------------

* You go see a comic: +2
* He's crude and sexist: -2
* You laugh: -5
* You laugh too much: -10
* She's not laughing: -15