PART 3: PRESENTATION DAY - BREASTFEEDING

my presentation day finally came.

props that i needed:
1. milk bottle, spoon, milk powder, measuring cup.
2. diaper, safety pin, cotton buds/pads, wet/dry tissues - lots of those.
3. baby plastic bath tub, talcum powder, baby lotion
4. articifial squirt boobs u could dress it on ur chest
5. one life-liked plastic baby
let me see...yep!! that's about all. shall we begin?

here goes....

all women must marry and have babies. when they had their baby, they must breastfeed him. how?...this how.....held up lifelike plastic baby to artificial big boobs i wore on the chest.

step 1: gently press baby's head onto boob...guide mouth to swollen nipple. baby should do the rest by sucking it. er...for the ladies, it suppose to be a pleasant sensual feeling....er for me....sorry i dunno ...i dun have milk laden boobs...pai seh!.... *blush...and the whole class laughed!*

oh ya...before placing the baby there on the boob, must wipe it clean first. squeeze the boob so that a few drop of milk exudes out. clean that. demo: i squeezed the fake boobs i wore on my chest pretending there were my and demo the wiping. then gently place baby's mouth onto boob....shit!! gotta do that action too....*so embarrassing!!*... i was behaving like the real mum with one hand holding the baby, the other hand patting the fake baby's bombom.

feeding the baby is very beneficial to both the mum and the baby. why? the baby will acquire stronger antibodies from the mother, hence he would be healthier and more immuned to sickness.

on the mum's part, there would be closer rapport with her newborn. but the most important thing, it aids her vaginal.....* whole class laughed again on hearing the V word*


cheeky question fired: what do u mean AID THE VAGINAL....how could breast link to there??

more laughter.....me really getting quite pissed over this damn embarrassing topic.
lts: well, u know when the mother pushes the baby out from that hole, all her muscles there would have overstretched. look at this plastic baby's head and now look at the size of the hole...oopss!!....sorli..... * more wild laughter!!*

lts: so when baby suckle the mum's boobs, in a wayhe also sucks up her vaginal ...otherwise it may loosen and droop so much....it may just drop out..... *hahahahaha...wild hysteria now!*

lts: dun laugh leh...true what!! her vaginal muscle walls would firm up...if not it would be too loose for her husband to poke her again, u know.....;9( *siao liao....the whole class went crazy with wild loud laughter!!!*



.....and that about ended my most embarrassing presentation..........;9(

DAYS OF THE MALE MISSY (NURSE)

i was 22 yrs then. my last job was a temporary purchasing officer. my last last job was a chocolate taster...
saw this nursing ad. was curious the life of a nurse. they wanted male nurse so out of curiousity, i applied.
during the interview, i believed i touch the interviewers whom one was a motherly matron.
m m: why would u as a guy wanna be a nurse?
lts: oh....to be able to serve our fellow sick is the greatest virtue of a person....
m m stomped by my (rehearsed) response. yes lah...i already anticipated they would fire this question so before i went i already dramamama a bit on this answer. u know add a bit of 'feel' to it. i thought i saw a tear gleaming at m m's eye corner.
weeks later, the mail came. I WAS ACCEPTED into the PTS - PUPIL TRAINEE SCHEME or lovingly called also PAID TO STUDY.


PART 2: THE TRAINING

first thing first, every new nurse wannabe got to have themselve measured. no! not my anaconda!! the uniforms.
we were issued 4 set of nurse attire, 2 pair of shoes and 6 pair of white socks.
soon, i was in my male missy pristine crispy white uniform and white shoe...the original MAN IN WHITE or MIW....haahahaha....;9)
it was 3 mths classroom lessons and nothing else. just study...study..and more study and tests. best part: GET PAID AT THE END OF THE MONTH!
as a nurse, my job wasn't just restricted to ward services, we were suppose to educate the public. things like STD, AIDS, contagious diseases, how to handle life threatening emergencies...etc.
we were suppose to equip not only the knowledge but to diffuse it to the general public and teach them the basic life saving technique like cpr, bandaging etc.....
in the classroom, everyone of us got to do presentation. the nursing lecturer will lucky dip the topic for us.
and me....suay ka pa cheng (unluckiest!). my topic for presentation was BREASTFEEDING N BABY BATHING.
hell man! this was damn damn embarrassing. the bloody faggot indian male lecturer was really picking on me...after all i was the chioest in the class. my hotbod then was one to behold...dun pray pray. i was already bestow with big muscular mi mi...i mean chest!
no wonder, i was purposely picked for this lame topic. what to do prepare for the details and present lor!....what else could i do?
....continue....