Sunday, February 26, 2006

comments from aussieb...the faithful follower of the squabbling couple...sbk & cjg.....
From: aussiebiz 02:14
To: leetahsar 1229 of 1238

>>>...suppose to go out again with sibeikang and wifey..and the gang of godsons...but i think better skip...every nite out until 2am...3 am...i seow man! (go crazzy like that)....tmr have to go temple do charity works....go now and i will be deadbeat tmr...how to work...<<<

From reading your story of sbk and cjg, I think their relationship is not simple. To start with both of them do not have the mutual trust required for a succesful couple. Then on one side (sbk) is the 'chiong' type while cjg is the over possessive type. Sbk I am sure knows cjg's character and should be extremely discreet when going about his 'other' activities. Cjg on the other hand should at least 'kwa pua' a bit and not tracked his movement even if he go crapping in the loo.

and that kei75 kept pestering to get rid of my poor FT IT now out of job tenant. so i replied him:

what rental u talking? kena so many times 4d n toto...forget about it for the time being until poor tenant gets a new job and pay lor....emperor not anxious, the enunch is...tsk...tsk!

i am talking abour ur lumpar and par lum....keep changing ur name and nic for what...ur lousy soup ingredients are still the same...get it?.....even if ur name changed to AMITAHBA BUDDHA....ur lousy soup still remains....LOUSY!...then how? kena banned again...and make everyone siam u is it? then in the end u get big mirror hor...and start talking to ur ownself...if good accept...dun be so teekee chwee emmmh see....i will chant my ba jie head shrinking sutra on u...dun pray pray hor....

compassion...my dear boy...compassion....ornitoufo....;9)

and also my replied to the very interested aussieb...i think he more kaypoh than me....hahahaha...;9):


bro aussie...wah lau! u r damn good! power to ur wife man!!

if u were to be cjg....maybe i fall in love with u too...hahahahaha....jus kidding! and sbk would definitely be a happier and koh ka seow kar tong bei tiao....hahahaha...;9)

世 間 萬 物, 一 樣 克 一 樣。。。。。。

translated: in this vast universal, everything will be suppressed by every other thing........

eg: pinkie the clown guniang meeting butchie the manly wifey....what a weird and uncanny combination....;9)
...cont'd sibeikang and chinjiagong....

then my aussie brother posted:
From: aussiebiz 25-Feb 23:43
To: leetahsar 1218 of 1238

83628.1218 in reply to 83628.1213

Walau brother, this thread is going to reach the 'buay jin chu' numbers.

What is the next story? I oredi bought the ticket hor.

my reply:

suppose to go out again with sibeikang and wifey..and the gang of godsons...but i think better skip...every nite out until 2am...3 am...i seow man! (go crazzy like that)....tmr have to go temple do charity works....go now and i will be deadbeat tmr...how to work...

and yesternite....i just realised how glutton chinjiagong was....she walloped one big plate mee goreng with an egg. then she ordered one kambing (mutton) soup with bread...and one coffee with milk....then ordered another TISSUE PRATA...u know the roti prata u made it until so thin and crispy...and added one cut beef curry to it...

MY GOD! sibeikang is rearing a sow pig! and the beauty of the whole thing, she is quite slim...unlike me...eat a little bit too much only, the sparetyre will come out....

now...like busy reply to my chu ba jie and sun wo kong....and hopefully...sibeikang and wife settle their miscommunication and misunderstanding.

but from what i see, the likelihood of their marriage is in a rather precarious situation as cjg is quite a stubborn idiot...and poor sbk is half blur already...he slimmed down alot....

i hinted to him...if a wife brings a husband happiness and bliss beside the good F thing hor, the husband will look "prosperous" that is - a bit plump....

but the pre and post marriage of sbk is like a totally 2 different persons...pre marriage - happy, jovial seow kar bei tahan, a bit plump..

post marriage - sullen, drooling, melancholic, sad, serious. short tempered..no appetitie...and really thin down....

so u judge for urself...i think he married a wrong wife...or married too early...i dunno...like he din want to marry but dunno why ended up married...maybe he shotgun ccj...and therefore u know...marriage was the only convenient solution then....and now look what happen?

either u marry right or u stay single? marry wrong...u suffer pain pain for the rest of ur life....and other innocent party like his baby son will have to bear the SIN OF THE PARENTS.....chui guo chui guo....:9(

...and he just called when i was typing this....cjg was there with him and his gang of brothers...he was F bored! without me around, like he couldn't even link with all his brothers....jialat....his attachment to bo liao me.....like i am the only one who understands him....jialat me!!...going to be very bo eng.....

so inconvenient u know...the only girl there in a group of supposed boisterous loudmouthed guys...all so reserved and mindful what's coming out of their foul man's mouth...u know hor...when a butch of guys gather together...all sort of XXXX will pour out like nobody's business.....if cjg could be mindful of this and allow sbk more freedom.....so many ifs....

if they didn't marry in the first ....none of the present unhappiness would have resulted....sad...;9(

and the teekee kei75 in his new dunno what nic interrrupted...so i replied:
From: leetahsar 00:09
To: 纪晓岚 (jixiaolan) 1222 of 1238

83628.1222 in reply to 83628.1219

goon's humble golden words:

DON'T TROUBLE TROUBLE UNTIL TROUBLE TROUBLE YOU........
this is kei75...the banned forummer is back! omg!!
From: 纪晓岚 (jixiaolan) 25-Feb 14:23
To: leetahsar 1206 of 1238

83628.1206 in reply to 83628.1204

To: My dear Mr Lee Tah Sar aka Uncle Bob/"Boob"

Ok, i shall put myself into yr smelly shoe.

As long as he paid yr rental on time and every time, pls keep yr big ass mouth shut. If he doesn't do so, pls set him a certain deadline. Should he con't to default on his rental payment over an indefinite period, u should demand that he fuck off from yr Lee Tah Clan - House of Limited Compassion.

Sad that today I've to tell alot of people off. Even, u goon also bully me. If my wording is seen to be harsh and rude, may I seek yr good kind self to pls excuse me.

Hope that I did nt spolit yr day and may I wish u a pleasant weekend ahead. Thanks!

Regards

From: A nobody but extremely teekee boy

From: leetahsar 25-Feb 14:49
To: 纪晓岚 (jixiaolan) 1207 of 1238

83628.1207 in reply to 83628.1206

i sensed today u r foul mooded...some one like wronged u...u bei tahan...me sensor on now...

as for me...THIS IS MY MONTH....MY BIRTHDAY TOO ON THIS MONTH...ME A PISCES...a very blur sotong fish....

why my month? cos hor...my 4d like going crazy...2 x lst prize...then all the little little consolation and $30 totos...then kena toto 5#s another 1k+...

so dun need the rental for this mth....i was thinking to tell him...he can go back first...and come back about 1 mth later...i give him 1 mth foc rental....wait for him to get the job...then his pay...then he can pay me...anyway...i already bought many instant korean mee for him...expensive one hor...$3.65 per pkt of 5...enough to last him until he finds a new job....poor boy...i sad for him....;9(

so...as for u...dun throw another rock or lup him another balls kick...ouch...MERCIFUL AND COMPASSIONATE HEART...no matter who the person is from...even he bangala or muslim or even terrorist i will also treat him the same...

ornitoufo....

and whatever is bothering him, i said this to him:

PEACE BE WITH U.....for whatever causes u ve sowed, u ve to reap the harvest now...whether it's good or bad, u gotta face it. if it's bad, then dun sow the same bad seeds again...if it's good, then pls continue to multiply the goodness......ornitoufo....

...and further reply to his lor sohness:

u r really funny and really teekee.....u keep changing ur name...when the simplest solution to ur clashes with people around u...is TO CHANGE URSELF BY EMBRACING UR PERSONAL FLAWS...MAKE A NOTE OF IT...AND TRY NOT TO COMMIT THE SAME MISTAKE AGAIN.....

simple as that....change the name of the soup; but the same lousy ingredients is the same....LP PL....

pinkie: HALLELUJAH!....THE OTHER PIC U JUS SEEN IS MY TRUE FORM....HALLELUJAH!! PRAISE THE LORD FOR GIVING ME BOOBIES THAT HUGE!!!!! AMEN....

.....YES...THIS IS THE REAL PINKIE THE CLOWN...HIS TRUE (inner) identity....and wifey is a man in disguise....we switch once the moon is full....our curses would be lifted...HALLELUJAH...HALLEELUJAH..HALLEEELUJAH...HA...LEE..LU...JAH!!!
A CHINESE POETRY....courtesy from a reader
From: 纪晓岚 (jixiaolan) 25-Feb 12:59
To: leetahsar 1203 of 1238

83628.1203 in reply to 83628.1202

落魄江湖載酒行 楚腰纖細掌中輕
十年一覺揚州夢 贏得青樓薄倖名

he also advised me to chase out my FT IT tenant who just got the sack...yes, the big boot! and here's my reply to him:

<>

so if u were my kena sacked tenant, i tell u ...served u right...U BALEK KAMPONG...AND PLS PAY MY THIS MTH RENTAL BEFORE U CHAR BOK!...or else!

then how would u feel...my dear boy? if i do like u demanded, i am very bad and evil...and really lupping him with a nasty kick so he will fall from the precipice he's now precariously clinging by a small finger.....hahahaha...;9)

MERCIFUL..my dear boy....AND COMPASSION....u just dunno when it ur turn next to be hit by ASSLUCK!!!

ornitoufo.....to u especially...ornitoufo...;9)

lupping (goon language) = kicking (normal engrish) or smell my foot!(goon extreme engerish)
REMINISCING MY SWEET MEMOIRS....
.....IT'S SIBEIKANG'S TURN...cont'd.....

we were in the lorry heading towards pender rd at mt faber....and this area was where my last garden was located just at the foot of the hill....

we reached the customer's house, an ang mor lady from england. she wasn't back yet from work. it would be like another 30 minutes before she could get back after sbk called her office. good! means i got time to relive my wonderful memories here when i was running the garden.

i went all over the place....to my nursery at faber hill....my old man's shop at wishart road...and yes! the rambutan tree i planted along the main wishart road was really grown up handsomely....i couldn't bear it any longer.....i hugged my big rambutan laying my face to its lichened erected rough trunk....oh my rambutan!....how wonderfully and handsomely u have become!....then i climbed up the fence of the church which was once CIROS THEATRE....and i saw my even stately regia ROYAL PALM....oh, my royal palm...a weak little seedling i had grown u from a palm seed...and now look at u....such magnificiently stately tall....and yes!!!...yes!! my humongous mango tree....u are flowering now....how i miss u sweet big delicious fragrant apple mangoes....i could get like a big basket of mangoes...and my neighbour happened to be a chandler suppling foodstuffs to berthing ships. they love my mangoes too and bought from me to load to ship especially those coming from india and philippines .....and now....now it was but just a sweet sweet wonderful memories......*sniff...sniff*....to me.....;9(

i then went to look at THE SOKA ASSOCIATION...(previously known as THE NICHIREN BUDDHIST ASSN OF S'PORE)....my god! my landscape...my creation...all destroyed!!! the rocks formations i arranged...still there...but where the hell was the mini waterfall pool....GONE!!!....the pomelo tree i planted for their PRESIDENTO IKEA DAISAKU (he just claimed he planted by sticking "PLANTED BY SINSEH IKEDA"...but it was REALLY i who dug and planted the tree)....dead and gone!!!

then my special flowering garden which i created for them before they mercilessly terminated my contract without a good reason....and i did that for free....GONE....ALL GONE!!! OH SHIT !!! my very special ownself breed one PLUMEIRA spp...or frangipani...the colored one. and the one i specially planted there was with 2 colors. its petal was very cute: half the petal yellow; the other half red....GONE!!! ...gone.....:(

only the yellow cane palms that lined in between their premises screening off the next door SHELL PETROL KIOSK remained...and my goodness!! how wonderful and luscious have they grown....i was like meeting all my plants children.....my beautiful palms...and yes!! the callistemon (bottlebrush tree) was still there accompanying the huge granite rock.......and damn it! they chopped away the roll of traveller's palms at the other side of the fence.....the palms were so faithfully screening from them the very dazzling west setting sun rays....and they ruthlessly killed them all...sad :(

EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED.....and my creation was brutally raped and destroyed by the so called 'peace loving' soka buddhist practitioners....sad...very very sad ....'9(

oops!...i was suppose to report what transpired between sbk and cjg....sorry...sidetracked too far...next post, i will continue....now i go wipe my teary eyes....excuse me...pai seh...*sniff*.....

after i had all my reminiscing....i dragged my legs to walk up to pender rd when sbk was waiting patienly for the customer to return.

he was sitting there...drooling....sulking blanky. the moment he saw me arriving, he brightened up. he then told me we had to wait a bit longer cos ang mor lady needed to pick her child first before returning so both of us just sat at the roadside kerb and waited.

"sar, the other night while we were slurping our teochew porridge, u showed me ur hp....and i saw a message from ccj....can to tell me what u two were talking...is it about me?" the melancholic sibekang asked.

" no lah...already told u right...she asked me for my mean spaggi recipe..." i lamely replied as though his "kang" (shrewd and cunning) was for nothing or what...

"ok, ok...she revealed to me about all the past gfs...ur present and ongoing multi timing gfs....and especially ur evil teetujia....."

sbk's eyebrows nearly popped off his forehead...his small beady eyes was now like an owl...big and round and popping out soon!

"so maybe u like to finish ur 10 to 30% story u told me earlier..." i continued. "u r really kang....u tell me a little bit here and a bit there...and expect me to piece up the whole story which put u as the victimised husband..instead of the ruthless wife tormentor...." i gave him a very evil sarcastic smirk....;9)

sbk was quieten. he was solemn. i thought i saw beads of tears at his corners of his eyes.....he wiped and replied...."no lah sar....why everybody think i got something cheeky cheeky with teetujia?" "then u tell me lor...and please dun give me another 10% and make me finish story for u...i chak par bo hiak eng...!(eat full not free to guess)" i snapped.

blah...blah..blah.....blah...bo liao narration not worth writing....

"sar....i really regret marrying...i regret having a kid...i regret...." finally the real words in sbk's heart came out...:(

"sometime i think u and teetu is more compatible...then why married cjg?" i summarised. " but then again, if u married teetu as wifey...i think u will hump cjg as a sidekick.....and the same cycle repeats.....human especially horny man with deadly itchy fleas infested bloodhound...i really dun understand..."

sibeikang....blurred by this goon..this goon lagi blurred by sibeikang....

do you blurr too??......to be cont'd....

and wah lau, the ang mor por (english lady) returned.

"sorry boys to have kept u waiting....c'mon in the house.." she beckoned us.

once inside the house, she told us to wait for awhile, she get cheque. when she came out from her room....my god! she was only in skimmy panty and only a black singlet...and our bloodhounds...went woooweee!! wraaff wraaff.....howl...howl...!!!! .......;9)...and that guys and girls would be another imaginative fictitious XXX story in the making....hahahaha....

real one hor...not bluffing...but ang mor por's boobies flat as a plane runaway
THE NATIONAL PLEDGE OF THE GOON
From: leetahsar 21-Feb 14:40
To: ALL 1 of 15

93853.1

I think this pledge definitely applies after erection....

THE GOON PLEDGE:

we the peasants of sinkieland

flogged ourselves as one disunited goonies

shameless of face,lampar or leeligion

to build a demonic society

based on injustice and definitely inequality

so as to avoid happines, prosperity and maybe

disgress for our nation...

...sad hor...;9(....and very pai seh to my beloved land...

...and rajarathnam konged of on 22 feb 06....so co-incidental....sibeikang said my adaptation of the national pledge caused his demise...i told him dun anyhow said....u mean i just write like that....then someone's more infuential one may kong off again...so powderful huh my words...? ;9(
.....IT'S SIBEIKANG'S TURN...cont'd.....

p pppp pp! sbk's lorry downstair horning. ran down the steps and off we went for his round of mattresses delivery....

lst stop: BENCOOLEN RESIDENCE. location: WATERLOO ST...

reached there in a jiffy. but there was a mini jam there...and some van was already at the pte condo which was just next to the WATERLOO'S GUAN YIN TEMPLE. sbk was very versatile in such troublesome matter. he drove one round and parked at the service road just behind a piece of void field where there was an exhibition.

as he parked at a double-yellowed line road, he told me to wait in the car while he singlehandedly carried a queen-sized mattress from the lorry, crossed the road to bencoolen residence, the pte condo......

i was damn boring waiting in the lorry c b l (cho bo lan) {doing nothing}. then i noticed that the exhibition at the opened field was actually ended and workers were loading up the stuffs in the exhibition.

one of the thing they were loading up was a huge lifesize MAITREYA BUDDHA. Then they were proceeding to hoist up another buddha - THE 4-FACED BUDDHA.

it was quite interesting so i alighted the lorry and went closer to watch. the huge statue was finally securely placed on top of the lorry.

suddenly there was a gust of strong wind. oh my buddha! the thin golden leaves which were pasted on the 4-faced buddha went flying...and my god! they were all flying towards me!

i couldn't siam and avoid in time....and was pasted all over...my hair, my body ...everywhere cos i was only wearing a singlet and a shorts and in sandals and was sweaty all over.

goodness! golden leaves were actually - if i m not wrong - 24K gold or 99.9999 fine type. only this type of gold purity is soft enough to be hammered out into very filmsy thin gold leaves which devotees paste them on the buddha....and now i was all pasted over.

bee thang! (rice bowl - means jackpot!) without further ado, i quickly picked up all the gold films. removed those that stuck to my sweaty body and hair.....put them all in a plastic bag. goodness! i think got at least 5g....i go check tmr how much is that......;9)....

and soon sibeikang returned....huffing and puffing....and complaining that the location of the client's address was damn damn difficult to find and damn far away....

we boarded the lorry and off we went to another location...

PS. My solemn condolence to rajarathnam for his pass on...and sibeikang told me about our national pledge...u know the "we the citizens " thing...

he said, "tarshar...u very zer er!!...u go and re-write the NATIONAL PLEDGE OF THE GOON....and we the citizen becomes we the peasants...and all those craps...and then now how.... the next day raja dropped dead....! hahahahaha...!"

sorry...i was innocent...how i was to know he wrote that national pledge and how i know i re-write today...and the next day he was dead as reported....not my fault...dun blame me...i dunno.....;9(
after chinjiagong, it' sibeikang's turn.....

oh shit! why did i lent my hp to sibeikang unwittingly? luckily i deleted most of chinjiagong's smses except one...

"TAhsar, u free now? pls call me..."

then the interrogation of leetahsar began....

"what did she talk to u about?" sbk started.

"what...what?" me defence up. "no lah, she asked me to give her my mean spaggi recipe lah...why leh?"

"pls leh, sar...tell me leh....i damn pek chek u know!"

"about what...ur teetujia? u miss bonking ur teetujia after ur jb satays is it?" i replied rather sarcastically.

"told u nothing happen after the satay....why u dun believe me leh?" sbk liked closed to tear...like a little boy being wrongly accused.

"aiyah! kang....u did nothing wrong...there's nothing to fear....."

....shit! sbk called...time off...got free makan...will report tonight...cherrio and ciao!

then a reader interrupted:
From: postnew 24-Feb 14:06
To: leetahsar 1191 of 1238

83628.1191 in reply to 83628.1189

<< luckily i deleted most of chinjiagong's smses except one... >>

heng ah... or not another famous 10 minutes video ( Tammy) will hit the market.

*Tammy was the latest faze happening in this sinkieland. she is a NANYANG POLYTECHIC student who used her handhpone to film her XXX different positions lovemaking with her bf...andy (i think). then she lost her handphone. some joker picked it and download the whole xxx scene in the internet....and now it's the talk and rage of the town...police are trying to locate the downloader and hell! once found out, this joker is going to get it pain pain...it's 10 mins display is even on sale in e-bay.

today sunday's times reported that it was already distributing in penang for a price of MR$10 (s$4.5) for a piece of DVD .....

From: ¼ÍÏþá° (jixiaolan) 24-Feb 15:21
To: postnew 1192 of 1238

83628.1192 in reply to 83628.1191

Tammy Chin n Bob Lee production?

From: leetahsar 24-Feb 20:04
To: postnew 1193 of 1238

83628.1193 in reply to 83628.1191

omg! why am i always omg now? one more time...oh my buddha!!!

cjg and sbk already very messy with the intervention of teetujia...and now there's another gf and another gf...my buddha!! getting very very entreating and confusing....just like my italian pal's charpalang paolo bonk fernando + monica bonk gloria bonk franscisco bonk hrc ...wah lao eh! all this bonking, laying, jacking, humping...poking...sucking...licking..frenchie...are overloading my otherwise tranquility...and now cjg and sbk and ttj and gf..and gf...my god...history repeating...and actually guan wo pi si!!!??? ....;9(

so, chu ba jie and sun wo kong, can u 2 pls dun aggravate and drive ur tang san chan sifu banana with 2 big coconuts....can or not huh? pls leh?...i m going explode pretty soon.....;9(....and so give me a few minutes....let me calm down and i report what happen when i abruptly went with sibeikang...many thing happened...one of which i was covered with....GOLD LEAVES....24K GOLD LEAVES....STAY TUNED....