conluding part to my FUCKING TIEN LORS

in my goldfish bowl, i still got a surviving tien lor. it's bigger now. hell, it's very greedy. it has eaten many water hyacinths which i hv thrown it.
the latest one was gnawed until it was left with half a spongy leaf. luckily, i got a free supply from the temple's pond where water hyacinths grown like weeds!
i untied the plastic bag on reaching home and unload the 4 japanese tien lors into the water. the one that i have was still gnawing at the remnant of the last figment of water hyacinth leaf.
i fed my 2 goldfishes with a special fine pellet fish food. as the pellets decended into the bottom, the snails were stimulated into action.
they crawled out from the shell and were feeding frenzily. they must be damn hungry!.
i just left them there.....
a few hours late, it was night fall. i heard 'clink..clank..clank'. oh shit! i panic and thought the snails were crawling out from the bowl again and escaping.
these critters were quite smart u know. they would crawl out of the bowl and crawled everywhere. they would play hide and seek with u. when u found them, they crasped very firmly to the surface. u need quite a force to pull them out and throw them back into the bowl.
that was what happen last time when i had a pair. one crawled out and must have felled, cracked its shell and helplessly i got to steam and eat it up cos the shell was broken. it couldn't live for long with a broken shell.....;9(
no. this bunch was quite disciplined. they didn't crawl out but there over each other. my god! they were FUCKING each other. it was like a wild orgy. the 5 clambered over each other.
i noticed a proboscis kind of probe ejecting out from the side of the shell and sticking into another snail. they were squirting sperms.
the water was turned quite murky and milky.yes, it must be mating season!!
one would climb on top of the rest, slipped and fell..and 'clank' and 'clink' were heard....it was really a very whimsical sight.....;9)
what did my 2 goldfish doing?...well, they were also fucking each other. one nudging the backside of the other...then the other would nudge back....what an orgy nite in the goldfish bowl!

the extra snails i got from cb or chubby cute boss was actually a request from my cid pal.
he owned a very large koi pond. the algae was growing furiously and when he saw my goldfish bowl so spick and span from algae, he also wanted some japanese water snails.
as promised, i finally got them for him. and i really couldn't stand the murky sperm milky water.
i hastened him to come and get his tien lors...or else...yes or else! they would be dinner for me!
and he came....

well, the tien lors after having an orgasmic fucking session with all their cum spewed all over the water were resting now.
their shells were tight tucked. they were immobilised.
here came my cid pal. i told him to pick the snails himself. just leave 2 for me would be suffice.
hell!...the snails were stucked very very tightly to the wall of the goldfish bowl. he couldn't pull them apart!
as he was doing the pulling, my horny pair of goldfish swam up to nibble his arms.
he was startled and quickly withdrew his submerged hand and yelled: ur bloody snails bit me!!...got poison or not?
LTS: hahahaha...u damn damn lame leh!...my goldfishes bit u la..u so scare!
i immersed my gentle hand, stroked the tien lors lovingly...and off it detached and sank to the botton of the bowl. cling...clang...cling.... a pair was stucked together hotly bonking away. i picked up both of it and gave them to him telling him that if they bred, remembered to return me some for my dinning table..hahahaha.....;9)
hence, i siphoned and changed the murky spermy water. oh, i din waste any water.
the sperm contaminated water was used to water my plants. i think my plants would lover those extra hormonal boost...hahaha.....;9)

story ends. cute and funny?

i remembered my promise to my cid pal that i would get him some japanese tien lor or the water escargot.
i told my pal i need to get some snails. we went to the aquariums diplay outside where they had an array assortment of live seafood.
there at the highest level tank - my jap escargots! how lucky could i be! today it was half priced!
there wasn't anyone around. me being a garang bold goon climbed up with plastic bags to help myself.
then a voice yelled from my back: HEY!!!...WHAT ARE U DOING UP THERE!!??

I turned. there below was a cute chubby guy. looked like the boss to me.
i almost reached my escargot tanks. just a couple of steps. but there on the wall, it warned:
DO NOT STEP BEYOND THIS POINT. WARNING: SLIPPERY FLOOR
oh well, i descend.
LTS, turning on my charm at the chubby boss: sorry, no one here to entertain me...i wanna buy tien lor....there up there in that highest tank. (pointed my finger to the highest spot)
cb (chubby boss not ur that ok): how many kilo u want?
LTS: huh?...kilo?..u joiking is it?...i need only 4 or 5 snails...i need it to graze away the algae of my fishtank...very good and efficient algae removers u know...
cb: huh, lei yao mo kor cho?....(u something wrong is it?)
LTS: dui mm chui...sorry ya...last time i got 2 here...but one committed suicide. it climbed out of the tank and fell. the shell cracked and it kwa chor..(means died)
cb:.....haahahahahaha....so how many u want now?
LTS: er...4 will do lah...half price right?
cb:...no!...half price u eat here. take away live of dead is only less 30%...how still want?
LTS: ok lor...(smiled and shoot bak at him lovingly.....;9)
cb called one of the chinaman worker to climb up and get me 4 snails. after that he tied it up neatly and passed to me.
LTS: kei tor chin...how much?
cb: mmm kan yew...peh lei lor...hahaha....(smiled)
LTS: tor chay sai.!!!...thank you very much (one last shoot bak at him....;9)
cb gave me the snails..FREE OF CHARGE!!....

MY FUCKING JAP TIEN LOR PART 2

MY FUCKING JAP TIEN LOR PART 2

one of my squatting pal visited me yesterday. he was quite depresssed and appetiteless. well, me just striked lst prize, 3rd prize and ibet last saturday.
i suggested we lunched at ah yat at turf city cos a bitch recently bragged she treated to some losers gang there with 'abalone'.
wonder did she treated them to the half priced dim sum and later let them had her own personal 'abalone and sharksfin'...hahaha....;9)
anyway, the chiohunk capt VINCENT was still there. ever the cheerful, warm and friendly hkie.
vincent: hi, leng chai....how many persons?
lts: just 2...this my pal.. (exchanged smiles and greetings).
lts: did an evil bag of bones came to dine here with a bunch of losers recently and order sharksfin and abalone?
vincent: ???....what friends u talking...if u mean ur laukuaybus gang and aunties...yes...they came very often almost every saturday...
lts: no la....skinny small ratty eyes UGLY BITCH....
vincent: dunno leh...
today, he recommended the hk noodle in braised beef biskets and tedons...DAMN DAMN SHIOK!
my pal just loved it!...and of course we ordered other dim sums...the po lo bao or pineapple baked bun with charsiew filllings was damn super too. he loved that. in fact he loved everything that i ordered....
soon we finished everything and he insisted paying for it cos he enjoyed it very much.
he enjoyed the food or he enjoyed my company. or because of my company that he enjoyed the food.
anyway, like i told him before coming there. i footed the bill so cheap!...ordered so many things and not even $30!!...hahahaha....;9)