LTS DARE TO LIVE THE DREAM! do u dare to live yours?

LIVE THE DREAM: spotlights, camera, action and wtf!! big hairy prick mic!!

yes!
i was there yesterday - a Sunday. i went for the audition. it was the last day.
well, i didn't make it. but i was bold enough to go.
guide: uncle, ur turn next. standing on the silver marked box. hold ur number card. intro urself and the song u wanna sing. got it?
lts: yes...sure....ok
in i went holding the #card. they photoshot me like a convict. oh..the glaring spotlight. er...what's that hanging above huh??

oh my god!
a monstrous greyish ...hairy...pricky mic!!
judge 1: relax la uncle.... (woooh! i hated it when they called me that - UNCLE!)
judge 1: ya...leelax la....dun look at the prick..i mean the mic...leelax...u can sing anytime u r ready ok, uncle.... (shit! she called me that again....;9(

so i began....
LTS: hi everyone, my name is bob my er convict # is 12358...shit if u read it in canto..yat yi sum mmmh fa*..hahaha....;9( ( *1, 2, 3...whole life cannot prosper)
hahahahaha...they laughed....;9)
i continued: i would like to sing I LEFT MY HEART IN SAN FRANCISCO.....hey!..wait!...i know u!!...u r dunno what HUSSEIN...champion in old old talentime, right?
shit! my old old already offended HUSSEIN....she smiled wryly: ok bob,...(smiled rather strangely)...anytime u r ready...belt it out.....(weak smiled)...
judge1: ann...
lts: huh?...what where got ant??
judge1:...no ANN!....oh...neber mind...just sing!
oh dear!!....i offended 2 judges at one go. she was ann hussein!
LTS: oh ya!!...ANN HUSSIEN!!....i participated in the talentime u were in...about 20+ years ago!!!...u won the contest, right...right???....(all eager now).
judge2: ya..ya...hehehe...(weak embarrassed laughter..meaning i had unwittingly told everyone there she was already a lau cha bor! i had rubbed acid into her wound. shit! still i blur blur..;9(
so...i closed my eyes. briefly meditated...and sang..
I LEFT MY HEART IN SAN FRANCISCO....*blank off!*
hell!! i forgot the lyrics...after CISCO...mati lah!!!......;9(

heck care la!...just belt it all out! finally i finished the song. i knew i was done for it too.
a cute mei mei guided me to the result room. hell! i needed a leak! off i zoomed to the gents...and ..and...wtf! not

the toilet was bloody remote. when i entered, a hunk was singing his wank...wait!...wanking his song??...what the fuck did he think he was doing!!??
he smiled bashfully at me...zipped up and zoomed out! after i released my frothy niagra fall, i too zipped up and zoomed back to the result room and waited aniticipatingly.
numbers by numbers were called. those called first were have to F off. they didn't make it. i was still sitting there. my # 12358 not called yet..hehehehe....;9)
i was in ecstasy too early...
12358...sorry, u din make it.
oh shit!...i knew it!! ok lor, my turn to F off....;9(

TOA PAYOH HUB LIVE STAGE

i exited from the audition room and headed to TOA PAYOH HUB where there was a stage.
a lame guy who just sang in the audition was up there talking to the chiobu compere.
lame guy: i would like to dedicate this song to my wife over there...my in laws there..and there...and yes...my baby boy..there...and my dog there..blah..blah..blah
compere: stop!...NO MORE THERE!! tell us what u wanna sing ?
lame guy: oh sorry...elvis' ARE U LONESOME TONITE!
wow lau! when he sang, all my goosepimples stood out...better than the coldest air cond! oh my god!!!
compere: hahahah....er..that was er...pretty good...thank u lame guy!....who's next....oh we have a cute little girl..what's ur song
little girl: u dun ve to say u love me
compere: ok..i dun say i love u..ehehehehe...hit it girl!
wow! this little girl is really little but her voice was really powerhouse! after her song, there was round of applause. everyone loved it!
compere: look what we have here...hi!..what's ur name
reply: ah seng...but hor..u can hor called me jason..
compere: ok hor..jason hor...what u wanna see for us hor...?
jason: TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR
audience burst out laughing...no joke! that was the song he actually sang...and all the lyrics ....ALL WRONG!!!
the appreciative audience and compere sang along with him. it was all in good fun...cos we realised this cute young man was actually a subnormal intelligent person. quite handsome but hiazz...too bad.
and who's next??
ME OF COURSE!!!...zoom.....up i went on stage in a jiffy!....;9)

LTS WENT TO LTD

actually i was standing among the crowd. suddenly there was a light tap on my shoulder. a LIVE THE DREAM guide smiled at me and said: uncle, u go up and sing la...u powderful man!
LTS: huh?...u know me meh?
LTD guy: yes uncle (shit! not UNCLE, again!!), we watch ur video just now in the audition...u were the uncle who said u bought a $10 shirt just for this right...hehehehe....
LTS: oh yes...so how?...i forgot the lyrics..shit!
LTD guy: neber mind la, uncle...u go up after this retarded joker ok...
and there i was standing on stage with this chiobu cute compere. i shook her soft hand.
compere: hi uncle....(omg, UNCLE again!!)....how r u?
LTS: not very good dear...i was at the audition...and hell! i forgot my lyrics...
compere: oh what a shame!...what song did u sing?
LTS: i left my heart in san francisco.....
compere: hahahaha...poor uncle...u din left ur heart la...u left the lyrics there..hahahaha...
LTS: ya hor..hahahaha....
compere: so how?....
LTS: so huh?...i beri the beh kum guan...u know...and ur boy down there edged me to come up and sing it again lor
compere: ok uncle...we let u kum guan kum guan..hahahah..hit it uncle! ( uncle!! i felt like hitting her instead!)
LTS sang: I LEFT....MY HEART.....IN SAN FRANCISCO....UP ON A HILL, IT CALLS TO ME.......
....upon the high....and windy sea (very high note)
*APPLAUSE* from the audience. i was pleasantly surprised and continued:
...YOUR GOLDEN SUN....WILL SHINE FOR ME........................(dragged and dragged..and dragged until faded.....{i very long winded u know so i could drag very long....;9)
*LOUDER APPLAUSE*...;9)
compere: steady uncle!!!....please collect the souvenir before u go....
so i went down the staircase.
compere shouted: hey uncle...!!!! dun go with my mic!!!...
so i ran back up again to return her mic..hahahaha....;9)
and it was a very satisfying experience. a deja vu 20+ yrs ago when i auditioned for TALENTIME with my guitar slinged behind my back...
i should have brought along my guitar. it would be even more interesting.
well, there went my LIVE THE DREAM...or rather my chance at the $40K grand prize...;9)