MY WEIRD FT IT TENANT.....

this joker is very weird. after u read my story, pls help me to analyse what is he doing now...and could he maybe be a part time midnight cowboy?

he had changed to a new job in a public listed company barely 3 mths. suddenly, he was so relaxed and most of the time at home.

in the past 3 mths, he was always in a frenzy rush.....woke up at about 6am....and by 7 am, he was off to work in a heave.

now so so relaxed. slept so late and like taking things damn easy. when asked, he told me he was promoted and now company allocated him to do a programming project.

out of curiousty, one day while he was out, i checked his room. on his table, there was a letter from the IT school he was part timing.

it was the results slip from the exam he just took weeks ago....

COMPUTER PROGRAMMING - FAILED

MATHEMATICS -FAILED.......

as u can see, he failed in the main subject of his IT...computer programming.

then came past midnight when the clock struck 12, he was active again. he spent the entire day sleeping....and now when everyone about to sleep, he woke up. dressed in long sleeves stylo milo smart pants. sprayed himself with damn powderful perfumed dunno what cologne. took his laptop and a little briefcase and off he charbok only to be back like maybe 7 or 8 am the next morning...

strange, i was telling myself...what the hell is this young punk doing....CAN HE BE A MIDNIGHT COWBOY?

then a few days before cny, he told me company sent him to JB to do another project....and off he went. then eve of cny that was already 3 days he had left, he sms me telling me he would only be back until 11 Feb which was only 2 days ago. and yes he came back. the moment i saw him, i handshook him and greeted him HAPPY NEW YEAR....and he auto passed me the rental for this month. already like 11 days behind schedule.

yesterday being sunday, he was off again. this time to his nearby block where his sister, now a PR was staying with hubby and a newborn.

again kaypoh me asked him, what's he doing at the sis' place. he told me chitchatting cos long time no see her....

and then today, he told me he was staying put at sis' place as sis and hubby flew off to BALI for 3 days holidays. he gotta babysit the newborn....

my god! ain't this little young bugger fishy???

now with ur sherlock holmes deduction, what can he be up to?

for starter, i think he already got the boots from the company....and the late nights outing...can he be working as a midnight cowboy? a gigolo? a quack quack duckling???

tell me pls...i better start planning just in case.....

HORROR FINDS AT THE SWIMMING POOL TODAY

JUST Got back from the pool. i was merrily swimming away, then alamak, i farted. must be the remnants of yesterday temple's humongous veggie yusheng....bloob...bloob...bloob...big bubbles of farts surfacing out of the pool.

off i headed to the toilet which was also the changing and shower room....

when i proceeded to the cubicle to do my big business, i saw a towel covering...goodness, another branded undies, B.U.M.S. but my tummy couldn't stand any longer and hastily i went into the nearest cubicle and ermmmh...ermmmh...peeleepalah...peeleepalalah....everything discharged out...haizzzz!! what a relief! anyway i had done my laps already so exited the cubicle i headed for the shower cubicle next.

again i saw the towel covering the BUMS undies. out of curiousity, i approached and lifted the towel since i was the only joker in the big changing/shower toilet.

OH MY GOD!! shits stain undies.....*YUCKS*!!......i gotta a feeling must be some cheeky jokers from this forum who purposely left it there to wickedly entice me....the undies goon...:(

choy! damn suay! better shower quickly and buzz off.......but then at another far end bench, oh my goodness! a TYR black swimming shorts trunk...hmm....not bad L size......my size. good! it was clean and dry.....so i supped....i think i will give this to one of the indian FTs workers of my indian chief....:)

MTHLY EXPENDITURES OF LTS: (x 2 = 2 units pigeonholes)

tv license (giro n instalment) x 2........................$18

2 house phone......................................................20

phones subscription every 3 mths...........................50

handphone...no use by can't terminate....................21

broadband 45

PUB x 2 ...........................................................180

transport .....................60

swimming & locker..................................................20

grocery (seng ka liao) ...........................................200

4d n toto .....................................100

(but always kena this mth alone about 4k +)

property taxes x 2 instalment giro..............................20

miscellaneous....donations and charpalang..................50

TOTAL: $784

COMMISSION FROM INDIAN CHIEF: 500

EVERY MTH SHORTFALL: $284....

this mth blessing from heaven $4556

still got balance: $4727

dunno how and where kena lst prize $15000

last mth keep kena 4d...dunno how much.. 1000+

account balance: $20272

so safe for this year...and got spare to go long long

holidays. mostly likely to taiwan....can tahan if for at least 2yrs.....:9)

SHIT, PEE AND EVERYTHING FREE...
was in recluse in my toilet for almost an hour and ermmmh..and ermmmmmmh...and...peeleepalah....all eventually came out!

phui! what a relieve!.....must have eaten too much from yesterday temple buffet veggie meal....after makan ta pow home some more....no lah! they insisted i packet back....they did it for me giving me an EXTRA large veggie yusheng.....so the whole night with mamalee and my just returned IT FT tenant, we supped and supped....goodness! the veggie yusheng was humongous....better dun eat too much next time there....i think i ve given those temple lau aunties that i am really a PIGGY impression....hahahaha....;9). no wonder they are also giving me big big serving of food...and i pai seh to waste it....even though i can't swallow anymore...i will force all the food in. bad to waste temple food, what....

and this morning....so good...so refreshing .....ALL THE DAMN STINKING SHIT ALL EXPELLED....and here i am giving u the SHIT OF MY LIFE STORY....hahahha....;9)

wow!....the whole body never feels so much lighter....shiok!!

now ur shit story and question before i continue further.....:) into pee........and everything FREE.....;9)

hello...why all so shy n quiet? quick leh...if not i gotta to poo again....

and now for the PEE....

U know yusheng primarily is made up of all the roots veggies like carrot, raddish, turnip, seasoned ginger dyed in red, pickled mango, pomelo pulps, pickled young papayas, crushed peanuts, sesame seeds, fried crispy wanton skin, kumquat juice, lemon juice, preserved sweetened tong qua(winter melon).....what else? did i left out any vital ingredients....

oh ya shit! the yusheng or raw fish in tradition lou hei...but here in the temple we use a special kind of agar agar that has the texture of sliced fish....very QQ...very shioker than the real raw fish....and u won't get food poisoning or worms from ingesting it. riskier to eat the raw fish especially those that dunno caught from where one....easily contaminated and may harbor parasitic worms eggs that created havoc in ur digestive system once ingested.....that's why they said the japs are full of shit! due to the worms they consumed from the raw sushi or fishes or seafood...now u know why hor....:9)

back to our veggie. due to the usuage of raddish, u will be surpised when u PEE....cos the PEE is extra stinky! dun worry, it's the miracle works of the ingested raddish....

raddish suppose to clear and clean our system of toxins....they said if u got poison in ur blood, drink a cup of raddish *yuck, horrible like fuck!* juice....and ur poison will be neutralised...and if u take any medicine, avoid raddish - like chai tao kuey or fried raddish cake - cos it also neutralises the effect of the medicine u r taking.

so ur extra stinky pee is actually a riddance of toxicity built up in ur body...

and how many of u come to my temple yesterday?...din come, ur losses hor....don't say i din tell u hor...i did invite everyone of u...so how many responded?
\alamak...still no response!...me out of the toilet recluse the 2nd time...and all still so quiet...:(

u mean everyone having a good monday time is it...if that's the case....then i better close shop for today and go swimming....BO SENG LI!

i ve done with SHIT, PEE...and now for the EVERYTHING FREE.....:)

if u read until here...u already got everything free....if u came to my temple yesterday, well...u got free veggie food and free lou hei yusheng...

and if u read until here....i ve given u free recipe to next year yusheng meal...dun eat out, damn freaking expensive...can u imagine a bloody plate of cheapskate roots veggies and a few pieces of decaying raw fishes slices can cost like $60...the bloody avarice restauranters on this cny day brandished their bloodied parangs very sharp, u know....:(...u go makan...u kena chop chop until heads drop...hahaha....;(

so here's the free recipe for u...and the free benefit for eating veggie yusheng....u siam the parasitic worms eggs in the raw fish....

SO EAT GOOD, PLAY SAFE AND BE GENTLE TO YOUR BODY...

thank u...guess gotta end this bo liao thread...BO SENG LI...no response...SHIT!

weird guy, weird happening and weirder luck....

last monday, my gof pal drove me to his house to see his newly born bunch of alsatian pups...so cute. he asked me whether i wanted one and picked one of the cutest one for me...he's joking right? in pigeonhole, i keep monstrous dog.....u want the mata to everyday drop by my flats is it?

of course, i said no. i couldn't have it in my pigeonhole. too small and hell! later on, this doggie would turn into a monstrous dog and eat me until i go bankrupt!

after playing with the doggies, his mum yelled, "guys, c'ommon in and eat my solid poon pee pee popians!..." so we went into his palace to sup the just fried crispy with damn solid filling kind of popiahs..auntie used shredded abalones and high quality lupcheong beside the usual veggies...wow lau! u ate one only....u can't stop man....so kept eating and eating....

filling very full, i stood up and walk around to admire his very expensive collections of charpalang things and antiques. there was a very unique piece of emerald jadite at on of his display stand.

i approached it enticed by it deep greenish glow....like i sensed something...or rather it sensed my encroachment...and suddenly it toppled a bit....i was startled and caught it before it really fell....heng ah! if not sure kena blame that i toppled and broke it into pieces....

my gof was shocked but was relief. he saw the whole incident and told me heng ah (lucky) i was alert and caught it before it dropped onto the floor...

as i placed it back...dunno why like sensed something funny in this piece of weird emerald jadite...i stepped backwards and realised it was a carved into some kind of lingzhi....a whole bunch of them in fact....as it was deep greenish, it was diffcult to see unless u looked closely....and that was precisely what i did...i looked very very closed and jolly molly....started counting...

the lingzhis were actually arranged into 4 rows...so dunno why started counting each rows...

row #1....6 pcs lingzhis. row #2....7pcs...#3 and #4 row each got 9 pcs...presto! the lucky 4d numbers. i quickly told my gof's mum...."Auntie, go buy 4D this wednesday...buy 6799...that's what ur lingzhis trying to tell me....", i gong gong told her....

and u know what....6799 came out last wednesday 4D...and my gof and his mum was thrilled. they kena starter prize. chun chun....how much? i m not going to tell u....but the following day, he gave me 2 fat angpows: one from him; one from his mum....how much again? ...for me to know and u to find out....and shit! i forgot to buy that number....

anyway, what's not mine, won't be mine....and anyway again, they kena means i kena too even though i forgot to buy...and the amount they gave me...was like another 1st prize....hahahaha....;9)

THE NEW AGE MIRACLE FOOD - WHEATGRASS

this is live culture of goodness from the wheatgrass. it contains chlorophyll which after ingested help to detox ur body, and the digestive system...get the whole body cleansed of the toxins building up...even from the chemo that she might be undergoing....

try it. it's easy to grow. i am now going to teach u how to do it...

HOW TO GROW & USE WHEATGRASS

1. buy the seeds, preferably organic one from australia..about $5 per 500g packet. alot and can used for about 6 mths depending..store unused seeds airtight and in fridge if not weevils will infest the remaining seeds...then all spoiled.

2. measure out a palmful of seeds and put them into a container of water. water needs to cover about 1'' above the seeds.

3. soak seeds overnight before use.

4. get a packet of peat-based commercial potting mix $3

5. get a plastic tray....those plastic containers used for keeping strawberries in supermarts, or other fruits is good enough to recycle and use. and they already have drainage holes.

6. cut away the cover of the plastic container. use the bigger deeper half. and fill it with peatmoss to about 3/4 full.

7. scatter the soak seeds on top.

8. cover with another thin layer of peatmoss.

9. water well...until it drips.

10. place it at any bright location....and wait

11. seeds should start sprouting...remember to water well. growing stage needs lots of water. place germinated seeds in fuLL sun...and water well. dun allow it to dry out

12. harvest when wheatgrass blades are about 6'' tall. must harvest by using a sharp scissors. simply snip it off from the base. if u leave the blades growing for too long, it become very fibrous...and no juice.

13. u can even eat it raw like that...very shiok. or add it into ur salads.

14. best is to juice them. use a normal blend will do. just add the amount of cold water depending on how much grass u have. add a tablespoon of honey for the taste.

15. best drunk in the morning on an empty stomach. balance keep in fridge and can drink whenever like.

EFFECT AFTER DRINKING:

lots of shits will be expelled comparing to the normal qty. and plus sign, shit not so smelly. dun be alarm if shit comes out is green. it's ok. if it's watery, it's also ok. means the grass are now cleansing ur system due to the excessive fibre from the grass that u hv consumed.

drink it regularly...and u will be like me....old man but looks younger than any young punk....and hell...damn powderful for the little organ between the legs....:9)

there my secret to good health, youth...and happiness....i now chant for ur pal A MEDICINAL BUDDHA SUTRA....and pray she will endure and recover hastily...

take care dear sister...ornitoufo....PEACE BE WITH U ...AND UR SUFFERING PAL....

FURTHER REF: http://www.growwheatgrass.com

or to save all the trouble, buY from NTUC. A PACKET OF WHEATGRASS COST $2.80...VERY LITTLE BUT SUFFICE TO USE WITH ABOUT 1 LITRE WATER.