the whining taxi uncle

finally joe had done enough shopping for the day. he wanted to return to his company's condo here where he was putting up.

lts: let's take the bus, joe. it's 5pm now. peak hour....taxi very expensive.
joe: fuck it bob!! take the cab..take the cab...dun worry, i pay!
lts: fine with me, joe....but it's going to kill!

we were actually heading towards the bus stop. but joe thought i was bringing to some taxi stands...hahaha. anyway, a citycab taxi stopped for us. off we were going back to robertson quay where joe was staying.

lts to taxi uncle: er...'cuse me, now how much extra must pay huh?
t u: oh....$3, peak hour now....(pause and the whining started, shit!)...u know hor...actually i not beri like this peak hour charges la...but bo bian u know...the gabamen damn chow kang...do until like that...peak hour is also our very shiong hour....NO ONE WANNA TAKE U KNOW!!
lts: huh? got like that one meh??
t u: abathen!...u think peak hour good for us...NO!!!...damn damn bad. now all passengers go and hide. after peak hour that is from 8pm onwards ...all will come out to take cabs....3 hours we taxi drivers damn damn jialat and siong!!!

joe: bob, can u tell him to stop at hotel galleria?
lts: joe, u staying there?
joe: no....robertson blue..but it was quite remote and i always stop the cab at galleria and walk back from there.
lts: joe! u joking!! when u take a cab, u take right to the doorstep. if not we should ve taken the bus instead!
t u: ya lor...dun worry...i know where...ur singapoo pal is right u know....but hor....singapoo taxi is the cheapest in the world ..u know...and blah..blah..blah...(wow piang!! damn damn whining!!)

i must say, this taxi uncle sure knew his profession well. he took us the real shortest way. the taxi fare was only $4 including the peak charges it totalled up $7.

joe was certainly please cos he didn't need to walk this time from hotel galleria to his condo.

a day of pleasantries....

a day of pleasantries....
after his huff and puff of toxic nicotine, joe was alive again!

off we went into takashimaya to get his GNB perfume or GABANA & DOLCE (hope i got it right. i kept saying GABRA & DOUCHE).

well, the counter didn't have the 'classic' flavour joe was looking for. we came to a CLARINS. wow say!! i din know man is as hiao as women!!

MAN'S COSMETIC, facial care and all those.

there joe picked up a collection of what beard softener, eyebags cream, wrinkles cream, night creams and dunno what creams.

i shot eyes at the girl: any free gifts,my dear?
girl smiled: actually we do have...but u got to spend $150...but ur pal only buys about $145...not never mind i give u this exquisite travel bags...and on top of that ..since u so cute...i give u travel samplers...FREE..

and boy!! she really gave!!! so many like a dozen of it!!

joe wanted me to help him look for a special kind of vase which he wanted to use as a lampshade. well, we found it. guess how much it cost? $405!! for a metallic designer dunno what. it was made in italy and i think it's called ALESSOSI, designer stainless steel fruits holder.

i asked for service from the salesperson and realised what joe was interested was not a 'vase'. it was a fruits dryer. means u wash ur fruits put it inside this stainless steel designer receptable and let it dry through the leave-like porosity.

we stucked out our tongue...and well, forget about the whole matter.
up the escalator we went. wowlah!!

joe exclaimed: OH MOLTON BROWN!!!...oh my god!!

huh? what molten brown?? some kind of designer dried shits or what??

it was UK men's exquisite toiletries. a shower gel of dunno what YUAN ZHI ingredients cost $49!.

joe started grabbing whatever he liked off the shelves. he got black pepper moisturiser, coco de mer dunno what..and other dunno dunno what. the bill came to be - OH MY GOD!! $480!!.
i went into 'auntie' kind of bargaining. who cares about high class luxury products!!

LTS: miss, no discount one meh!!...my pal buys so much...no discount huh? ( shoot eyes and bolts of eletric current).
the sweet girl smiled: ok, lah....uncle (shit! uncle ...me uncle???) i got something for ur pal since he such a gorgeous hunk!

under the counter, she brought out small sample bottles of all those exquisite toiletries best used for travelling. so sweet!!

Next, she put it in a cute bag and tied a MOLTON BROWN grey ribbon.

sweet girl: uncle...(oh no! dun call me uncle, pleassssssse!!) i put all your pal's big bags small bags all i n one lagi bigger bag , want?
LTS: aiyo, girl u so sweet...of course want lah!!...thank you!
she neatly put in all the 2 topman's bags of shirts, the little bags of MOLTON BROWN toiletries into a really big and macho MB bag. to top the cake with a cherry, she even tied a bigger grey MB ribbon to the bigger MB bag.

wow!! what a service! joe was so please. i bet he wanted to give her a kiss...and boy!! he did peck her!

she giggled: hehehe...come again sirs...have a nice day!! oh yes!! she really made our day!!
:D
...see shopping go with this auntie uncle sure got many benefits!!! and joe was just too please with my company and my friendliness with everyone i met.:p :)

finally, he puffed and he puffed....

smoking joe!
well, joe is a smoker. he brought his own china brand cigarettes.something funny happened.we were at starbucks, wisma after shopping at topman. joe dying for a puff. he went out of the exit near to a staircase. NO SMOKING. FINE $1000."FUCK!!" exclaimed joe, "the government here stinks!!" so back we went into starbuck to rest and have our branded kopi........more idiotic happening,



after having our branded expensive starbuck kopi and that sinfully rich chocolate hot cake, it was off to shopping again.we exit wisma, walked along the corridor and joe was still dying for a puff.

LTS: joe, u can smoke here now...go ahead.
joe: u sure, bob?....there's NO SMOKING on the wall...
LTS: joe, just smoke, ok. u see all those smokers puffing away? (there were quite a number guys and girls hanging around the tall rubbish bin, puffing like the end of day) i pointed them to joe.

joe crunched low. i was feeling weird and thought: WHAT THE HELL WAS JOE TRYING TO DO???...he slumped in a crouching manner and pulled out a cigarette. stuck it into his mouth, lit it and started puffing.

curiously, i asked: joe, what's that all about. u r like doing something sneaky. is that marijuana or grass or some drug spiked u having there?
joe: shhhhh! bob. u want me to be arrested is it??!!
LTS: what?!! it's grass??!!
joe: no, bob!! (he was frowning). i bought my own cigarettes from beijing. isn't it illegal??
LTS: hahahaha...joe ...joe..where the hell u heard that from??

i think u r allowed to bring in a pkt for ur own consumption.

joe: really?? they told me it is illegal. fuck!
LTS: ...so how many packets u brought in?
joe: one tube of 10 pkts...
LTS: WHAT!!!....

now that was illegal! is it??

arrival of beijing joe

was with my beijing pal shopping in wisma atria, tangs and orchard belt.
joe was a big spender. bought so many expensive perfumes from tangs which came to about $700! then to topman where he just swept about another few hundreds of Ts which were offer there.
and i just remembered. i asked the cashier to issue GST claims since joe was a tourist.
guess what?
if ur bill is from 100 - 199, claiming gst in this range shoult be said $7 for every $100 spend, right?
WRONG!!!
there is a SERVICE CHARGE. for that range mentioned it's $4 meaning instead of joe gettting $7 from the 7% gst claim, he will only get $3 instead.
and different amount of the bills incurred, the gst SERVICE CHARGES vary.
now is this a international CON JOB or not?
we are actually living up to the CON HUB of the world.....;9(
well, i told joe to complain to the gabramen about such silly practices. HE'S GOING TO DO IT WHEN HE RETURNS HOME!
and there were more funny things that tourists were misinformed....
continues......

TANTRIC, TABOO & PLAY

does anyone know these pubs?

TANTRIC
TABOO
PLAY

the next story i m going to share could be quite offensive to some. it's RA21 and with gayish content.

i m procrastinating should i go ahead with the story as my 'upheaval' with this beijing pal isn't over until sunday when he returns to beijing.

yes the 2nd visit of gorgeous joe. he was here last year coincidentally with the visit with choobeebee, my indo chiobu gf.