the mrbrown show: In a Fun Pack (video)

the mrbrown show: In a Fun Pack (video)

wow lau eh! mrbrown's FUNPACK soungs like a sad offering for the HUNGRY GHOSTS FESTIVAL.

sadistic teachers i encountered when i was cute student

i m condensing schooldays tortures by sadistic teachers so the my kids reading this would realise how lucky they are now. so my advice to them: STOP BULLYING YOUR TEACHERS! or else!

in my era, primary schools were plagued by sadistic teachers. the ministry of education was totally ignorant of little's primary school kids' suffering.

beside having to fend off school bullies, kids would have to tolerate the physical suffering inflicted by sado-masochistic teachers. don't think they were just male ones, the bitches teachers were even nastier.

i shall relate what usually poor kids faced last time and tell my own kids how lucky they are now. one verbal insult fr any of their teachers now would land the poor teacher being interrogated by higher ed authority.

in the past, if parents dare criticised the teacher, their kid was as good as a marked cooked goosling!

the pri sch which i once attended was no more. its funny name was eternally obliterated. in fact many schools along pasir panjang rd are now gone. who ve ever heard of kampog jagoh malay school, batu berlayer, labrador or pasir panjang pri sch now?

gone for good....but the sadistic memories linger on.

EXCLAIMATION MARK, COMMA, COLONS AND HYPHEN

what are they? quotation marks? correct! except during my pri sch days, they were description for physical punishment notoriously applied by a bitchy skinny teacher who executed them in perfect finesse/

ms ng (her real name) was a scrawny teacher with long straight hair. one of her very memorable mannerism: tearing her own hair and showing to the class her clutches of stripped strands. she was just bone and skin with a very thick nerdy specs. don't be misled by her weak small framed. when she executed her QUOTATION MARKS stance to punish students, it really smart!!

exclaimatio mark ! : one hard slap down on the head and a punch to the tummy. ms ng: i m going to give u an EXCLAIMATION MARK! smack! punch! poor student bent and groaned. some ended up crying.

comma , - pinching. guess where her favorite spot to land her sharp nails on and twist? the poor kid's nipple! she would pinch there in perverted delight. if she pinched the right nipple, the poor kid bent right, pinch the left, s/he bent left. she would release after she was done with all her ranting. by then, poor kid would have one bigger nipple then the other.

colon : - poor kid had a choice. either 2 punch or 2 twist at the both nipples. usually, ms ng would chose the latter. yep! the nipples again. this time both so kid ended up 2 swollen nipples.

hyphen - - was the worst. she gestured...and she gestured. the poor kid responded and tried to siam. then she ranted and scolded....the poor kid got mesmerised and then SLAP! on big tight slap across the cheek!! usually, poor kid would ve to live with 5-fingers imprint for the rest of the day or 2.

and that was just a ms ng alone. there were more such as SWEE TP nicknamed swee toilet paper, ho WC and a pretty but equally deadly ms maggie hoe. and don't u forget the principal. lagi jialat!!

sadly i was the prefect. because i was adorably cute, i was upgraded to be the HEAD PREFECT. all the class monitors and prefects had to obey my orders. together we caught talkative kids, naughty kids and kids who dare offend me to be sadistically and brutally punished by the QUOTATION MARKS tortures.

it was such a sin to be cute.

Originally Posted by erection2011
i can believe the harsh treatment from the teachers but a bit hard to stretch my imagination to believe the 'cute leetahbar ' bit. More so when i look at your avatar. Lol.

then u must be quite young and lucky to have avoided my era which going to school could be a real torture. beside facing school bullies, there were the sadistic teachers to avoid. by the way, complaints to MOE then wasn't in style yet and parents then always sided with the teachers.

SWEE TOILET PAPER

next teacher notoriously etched in my mind was SWEE TP or Toilet paper the kids nicknamed him.

up till today, i still couldn't figure out why such a cruel sadistic sick man would ever wanna be a teacher and a very bad one too. he didn't teach or rather he always skivved in his lesson. either he was late or very very late or appeared only to end the lesson in a jiffy.

when he did appear, it wasn't really for lesson, he was there to sadistise the class of poor terrified kids.

SWEE TP was also a bloody lau teeko! he would always ask the cute malay class monitoress to come up to him and of all the gross behaviour, demanded her to sit on his lap. he would help her by her waist. i could be sure he was caressing monitoress siti's butts. it was simpy disgusting!!

he would frivolously conduct lesson in such manner with siti on his lap. when he got bored, he would just randomly pick one of the bigger boy in the class and ordered him to step up to the front when martial punishment began....

i remember the biggest and must rugged boy in my class then was called rahman. swee would demand him to bend down. with his butts protuded, he would kick it quite hard.splaaaac!! it could be heard loudly even at the back of the class. rahman would shriek in pain, "adio...adio....tolong, sir...tolong...!!" he would plead with the sick teacher. he only left him off after much @*&XX#$!! yelling.

those grotesque grimaces fr swee toilet paper would frequently invoked nightmares in many kids who sometime who fantasised how they got even with him during casual chats.

when i left the primary school, swee tp was still there as a teacher. i couldn't help but sympathise the next batch of unfortunate students would have him as their form teacher - a very sicko sadistic fucker.

sweet but equally sadistic miss maggie hoe

how could i miss the prettiest teacher in our school! she was the school music teacher and was the sweetest. but i wonder whether was her heavy makeup that made her pretty or the sick beauty that masked a sadistic nature beneaht?

when she started yelling the class to shuddup, her voice turned coarse like a wicked hag. no joke! the class was terrified by that sudden change of sweet voice to hoarse croak. everyone i remembered were rumouring that ms maggie hoe could be a pontianak!

and yes, her favorite punishment is the HYPHEN - a sharp slap acrosse the cheek and without warning! and yes again, those who kena got the 5 fingers reddish imprint on the cheek.

the other secret weapon she used was a very sturdy hard 12 inches ruler. either she would ask a student to stretch out his hand, palm facing downwards and she would slit down the hard ruler by the narrow part instead of the flat. wow!! this one sure fractured brittle little hand bones or at least caused a blue black streak.

her next torture style would be instead of using her hand to slap, she used the flat of the ruler to slap. this time u would have the number of inches markings reddish imprint on the cheek. damn jialat!!
most of time, sadistic teachers were very handy - they used their hands, leg, rulers etc to execute their punishment.

the next teacher was WC ho. he was nicknamed ko lo qin which means a very tall man and co-incidentally was also the name of a canto tv actor during my era. wc ho's speciality was throwing darts using pieces of chalks. in fact, all his weapons were related to the blackboard.

someitme in order to keep the class quiet instead of yelling the guts out, wc ho would use his nail and scratched the blackboard. the screeching high frequency noise would send goose pimples on the students and quiet down immediately. if any students spotted still chatting away, he would surely be hit by a flying missile chalk from wc ho's deadly aim.

that student would be called out, made to stand on the chair ( sometimes, the desk) and a piece of chalk would be stuck in

a piece of big shit!

oh the sai story!!

this sai or shit was the worst from sadistic teachers. one chinese teacher i remember was innocently blur but no lesser hideously sadistic unwittingly.

this incident was funny but real....

student with stomachache: teacher, can i go toilet please?

chinese teacher: NO! sit down n shuddup!!

student: please teacher....my tummy ache.

chinese teacher: shuddup n sit!!

before he could blurt another word, pooooooo.....one big piece of shit drop out of his shorts and the whole class stank!!

the shit chinese language teacher after witnessing such a big piece of shit dropping out infront of him from the petite pupil suffered henceforth from some paranoid. whenever any students came up to him, he would tell them YES, GO!! even before he could ask him whether he could go toilet or not.

no more SHUDDUP! SIT!!


capital punishment from a greater sadistic school principal

how i missed the first ang mo lady principal during my primary school. she was such a kind gentle lady. and she was ang mo who was rare in some ulu kampong school. so here's to mrs baptist in her everlasting eternal peace with the LORD. (presumed she should be dead by now and probably reincarnated as another kindly motherly principal, hopefully ).

she quit when i was in primary 3. a new chinese shortie principal replaced her. to tell u honestly, this new shortie was like the reincarnation of malboro tan. such resemblance!! and yes, he was evil and sadistic.

not long after he took over as the new principal, capital punishment was introduced into the school. again, rahman - my class big bully was being made the sacrificial virgin lamb to show off the prowess of sadism by the new evil shortie principal mr ong.

after delivering a lectureful of sermon, the official punishing weapon was revealed to school assembly. the children were awed by it. yap! it was an awesome 3 footer extra large ruler!

infront of the whole assembly, rahman the bully was ordered to bent down. whack! a loud crack was smacked into his buttock! no mic. no amplifier. the whole assembly heard the sound....and beads of sweats dripped from most stupedified students. me included!

rahman limped when he walked for the next few day. he showed some of us his butt. yep! monster ruler's imprint was there - red hot and swollen!

and that concludes the sadistic phase of my primary school life - days of innoncence, mischiefs, fun and devious punishment meted out by a bunch of sadistic teachers.

it's all past now and i hope none of those sadism ever happen in this era. kids are luckier now. the parents are so good at complaining to the relevant authority.

then again, teachers are there to be respected and not feared. teachers should upkeep that image and mould the future generation. that's what teachers are meant to be and that what they should shine upon.