2 men, a sofa with a baby and one angry wifey

2 men, a sofa with a baby and one angry wifey

the handphone range. 9pm. it was SI BEI KANG. ya, it's our prodigal son now a prodigal father of two boys. he needed me badly. he pleading me to babysit his new ah boy who was about 15mths old. of course, i would love to. ah boy Leroy was a very cute and intelligent cheery baby. and he could walk and run. for his age, that was quite rare.

9.30am. honk, honk-honk, honk honk....honk..honk!!

si bei kang was here downstair with his trademark honky-tonky horning.

oh my god! his newest sexmboile was slight dented at the front. as anticipated, he needed to make a accident report. that was where i come in - nanny for ah boy leroy. instead of heading towards alexandra village where most of the vehicle repair shops were and where accident report could be made, si bei kang zoomed his sexmobile to river valley road.

it wasn't surprising to me cos whatever sibeikang told me in simple language usually ended up with very complicated motive. that's why his name SI BEI KANG!

he revealed that he needed to transport for a "friend" (any paying customers to him was a "friend") needed him to help transport a 2-seater sofa from river valley to THE SAILS at shenton way. what was i suppose to do? as usual (for dunno how many times already in the past), i realised i was again tricked to board his pirate ship sexmobile :(

sibeikang was one hunk with ultra human strength. if there was a capt AMERCIAN, we should be looking at CAPT SINGAPURA! single-handedly, he heaved the sofa and laid it in his sexmobile van. it was done in a jiffy. next would be heading to THE SAILS, a high-class luxurious private condominiums to unload. and our mission would be accomplished.

simple? yes?

well, NO!!

we reached THE SAILS, zoomed up the spirallying path to the carpark, unloaded the sofa for a very chiobu lady "friend". sibeikang followed her to her unit. awkard moments. i was left with ah boy leroy - our cute smart baby.

10 minutes passed...20...30 and the ahboy leroy lost his cool. he wanted daddy. and he want it now! no daddy in sight, he blast full force. wah...wah...wah...!! now what was this fattie nanny suppose to do? sang, made funny noises and all kind of nonsense which normally a grown man won't do just to appease a crybaby whose wailing was tearing the building down and bursting my eardrums.

great! baby stopped crying after i got to sing a baby song BROTHER JOHN like a "cute" old baby.

are u sleeping, are u sleeping brother john, brother john.
morning bell is ringing (x2)
ding dong bel (x2)

ok. my special baby sound effect pitch temporarily stopped (or stunt) the baby from crying. ah boy leroy looked blankly at me. smiled and began to chuckle. he tried to gargle the same tune i sang in baby voice. great! that was the cue that he wanted an encore. so here i went again R U SLEEPING (x2).......

when the gimmick got bored, demanding mafia ah boy leroy wailed aloud again.

of course, i knew he wanted his daddy sibeikang cos he had disappeared for almost more than an hour. what could he be doing? providing some "special personal service" to his very chiobu "friend". could they be both testing and frolicking on the sofa?

wah....wah...wah...!!! the siren of baby's warpath howling got louder and more piercing.


an old kaypoh lau auntie looked menancingly at me. gave a "u better shud ur bb up or else...." kind of intimidating glare and walked away. that didn't help much. the wailing continued. a passing guy, gave a sudden loud clap which startled the bb momentarily. ah boy leroy paused. eye following the clapping guy. turned and looked at me as to ask me: Who was that clapping idiot who just walked by?

i smiled at him and he let out another full blast siren.

sibeikang, where the hell are you?!!

called him at his mobile. it was switched off. now i began to panic cos bb was crying for too long. his shirt was drenched in sweat and tears. that's bad for any bb.

having no other choice, i finally called the wifey, sibeiKONG - the blur wifey of sibeikang.

"hello, kong, could u talk to your boy boy. he was crying non stop. speak louder please. i put u on speaker mode."


"bb, what's wrong, bb, my darling...?"

no effect. bb wailed even louder: "pa pa....pa pa....papa...wah...wah...wah...!!!"

"bob, what's wrong where's sibeikang??" now the wifey panic.

"er...he's tied down with a "friend" delivering a sofa..." i told her excluding the gender and especially avoiding the description a very chiobu "friend".

"haiya!! this bloody sbk!! always have to bring the bb to do all this nonsense!!" she fumed. " could u please bring the bb to walk about and try make him stop crying? i m busy now with work." clicked.

ya...that was easier said than done.


finally, daddy sibeikang appeared all flustered. well, what was taking him so long? blah..blah..blah...and blah....was all the crap explanation began pouring out.

off we hopped into the sexmobile. what took sibeikang so bloody long to deliver a sofa?

i think u don't wanna to know the details. ;)