Thursday, December 21, 2006

comment from the alien himself....

From:
jacys
Dec-20 12:55 am
To:
leetahsar
(9 of 10)

9.9 in reply to 9.7
WOW................
I never know I was that good in bed.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

the evidence of jacys, the alien from pluto




here's the evidence of the arrival and juiced jacys'...THE RED THONGS HE LEFT BEHIND.....hahahaha....;9)

PART 4 - FINALE OF JUICY JACYS

time's up! no details from the alien means JUICING JACYS begins now.....;9)
wo dei kong toh (we talked until), jacys was led by dearie into her hotel room.
when the door was closed behind them, dearie was really feeling hot and bitchy now. the effect of the whiskey was taking it's horny toll on her.
she grabbed jacys. she grabbed him there...squeezing and juicing away. our alien from pluton's antenna shot out and up...it wasn't from the head. it was from the groin!
the bulge was exploding there. it was getting hard. it has to be unzipped. if not it might fractured...poor alien!
dearie knew what to do next. she squatted and unzipped his pants. when she kneeled to do that, her pinkily flushed boobs cleavage were even more amazing in bird-eye's view.
jacys wasn't as primitive as he looked. his opened palm swinged into action, cupping those monstrous pinks. squeezing and juicing as it went....like he was milking a cow.....hahahaha...;9)....sorry, how would u expect me to describe the mammary glands?......;9)
dearie: yips!!...oh my god!!.....thongs...red brilliant thongs...oh jacys....i m really high now!.....( she let off an operatic soprano)
a big wide smile flashed across our alien's face. with a gentle tug, off went dearie's tight tees. another tug at her tight skirt, off it dropped to the floor.
jacys: yippy hi ho!!....g-strings....great!!! brilliant lime green...my favorite color!! (he also let off an operatic soprano!)
their lips locked. the tongues were having a tug of war insides those wet moist mouths. jacys lifted dearie. dearie crossed her fair long legs over his stout firm 6packers abs. she hold him tighter. he embraced her tiny waist closer. (if i m not wrong, jacys should have 2 big blue blacks on his chest from the two powderful big boobs...;9)
they were doing a walking kamasutra. jerkily, jacys staggered towards the welcoming bed with dearie hobbling up and down. oh great!! antenna made contact with pussy...they were united...
gently and softly, he laid her down at the edge of the bed. the ramping and bonking began. the moans...the groans...the whizzing and gasping of breathes.....the locking of the lips..smooching away.....
then it was a different position. the wheelbarrow...her legs were held high up on his chest...fully inverted. he sucked her toes. his fingers were also busy fiddling her. she moans even bitchier...louder...and louder...they went.
the whole of sinkieland would have heard the animalistic gruntings hadn't it been saved by the rumbling of the thundery sky...and flashes of lightnings streaked across the dark morning sky...
they shagged and they shagged....just like dearie described in one of her thread. they shagged from midnight till dawn.....
at the break of the first daylight, jacys had vaporised. gone with his spaceship. no where was he in sight. all that remained was...oh well...his brilliant red thongs. a gesture of remembrance of love to dearie with his full BO still attached.
dearie was still in perfect bliss after the multi biggies she had. a big satisfied smirk ran across her face. she was giggling. her pinky flush had since subsided. she giggled more..in her sweet romantic dream.

....end of juicy jacys....PART 2: the return of baby jacys - the seed???...yes, yes??
rating please...thank you......;9)

PAGE 3

jacys was a suave tall guy. when he started to speak...u heard only music. well, at least it was music to dearie's ear. i thought i saw a drool from her lips or was it her whiskey coke?
he peeleepehleh...with an accent...hell! i tot i was hearing an americano talking or what...;9(. then kaixin also peeleepehleh...and i tot i heard an engrishman. for me, i only simi huh?...wow lau eh...wo hian bo...simi meh...etc...very hokky singlish....;9)
back at the hotel lounge, dearie was a bit embarrassed as she bought her whiskey coke from the 711 store. this very bullet proof thick skinned piggy told her just now we had drunk here so it should be ok. there wasn't a soul in sight saved for our alien jacy and us.
i just went in sat on the comfy crouch and the rest followed suit. oh well, dearie thought, might as well ordered her favoured whiskey coke. jacys had a orangey cointreau. kaixin was still a bit tipsy from the previous dose so he followed me...and our orders: TAP ON ICE....free of charge...hahahaha....;9)
jacys started his pre-statesman talk..opps were these and that...paps was that and these...SO BORING!
kaixin is droopy. me was drowsy. dearie was orgasmic with jacy's voice. it was music to her ears. i wondered she knew whether who the hell was chee soon juan. who was chiam or low or whoever jokers, jacys blurted out...
finally, feeling the drowsiness was overpowering, i burst out singing...
I LEFT MY HEART.....IN SAN FRANCISCO....
UP ON THE HILL....IT CALLS TO ME.....to be where (pause) ..little cable cars....climb half way to the stars.....
the morning fog...may chill the air...I DUN CARE!!....
that shocked kaixin back to life. dearie burst out laughing...and jacys shuddup!...hahahaha....;9)
before i could allow him turn the night into a political upheaval, i started my undies stories. kaixin laughed. he simply loved it. dearie was delirious...and jacys, well, my undies got the better with him instead of sylvia lim...hahahaha....;9)
we had such fun conversation. guess who also loved to peep when u squat to poo? guess who was wearing a red thongs that night?....guess who wasn't wearing anything?
oops! it's almost 11.30pm. i suggested we split. if not, we would miss the last bus. off we left the hotel. dearie walked with us to the bus stop. then she exclaimed that she wanted to go geylang and looked at the mei meis teetujias there and maybe some transvestites.
jacys started his vivid descriptions of all these teetus. that got her even more stimulated. it so happened my bus came. i was a bit worn out. i bit the guys goodnite and hopped into the bus.
the 3 jokers hailed a cab and off they went to geylang for the guided tour by jacys.
.....and i believe most of u who follow up till here have read kaixin's GEYLANG FR. should have been there with them. it would be even funnier with me around.....;9)
anyway, after the geylang exhilarating trip, the bunch sent dearie back to her hotel. she just couldn't bear to leave jacys, our alien from pluto. i think jacys also fallen in love with her and couldn't bear to part. so kaixin just kicked him out of the cab to accompany dearie back lovingly to her hotel room...and...and...and...
wow....the foggy steamy night began.....

to be cont'd - THE FINALE of the ozzie terror vs the alien from pluto....JUICING THE JACYS....;9)

PAGE 2

she ...she...she turned into......
she turned into vampire?...nope! a she wolf ( the moon was full that night)?....that one maybe and nearly she turned into one...howl...howl!...woof, woof!!...hahahaha...;9)
NO!...MY DEARIE TURNED PINK!!! BLUSHING BRIGHT PINK!!
from her head down all the way to her boobs...SHE WAS PINKY!! ( but luckily she din became pinky the clown, or i would surely ve it then!)
dearie: bob....i m feeling hot....umm..um..I M HOT, BOB!!! do something....i need my whiskey!
lts, indifferent: oh, go get one urself....there the drink stall just opp.....( couldn't be bothered cos i m also feeling something...HUNGRY! and dun ever interrupt a hungry piggy when he was eating....;9)
she looked pitifully at kx who was also slurpping away the food. he was also feeling something...yes...HUNGRY, TOO!
oh shit!! dearie, u and ur drink!....i stood up abruptly and headed for the drink stall beckoning kx to stay put and enjoy his meal.
at the drink stall, this bloody hiao in flowery shirt lau han koo was mopping the table. i stood there: ONE BEER PLEASE....
he treated me as invisible. din respond. can u believe that? he just went about doing his stuffs. then he went into his little storeroom. i stood there like an idiot. waiting.
he came back after about 5 minutes. i asked again: ONE BEER PLEASE! this time louder thinking he might be deaf or what.
the bloody lau hiao hanku looked at me, gave me a disdain glare and said: SORRY CLOSED SHOP LIAO...get lost!
basket! the attitude of the local....damn fucked up!!...;9(
i returned to my table, gave the same disdain glare i got just now to my dearie and continued my makan. she was intimidated. she shuddup and watched us finished our meals.
after that, we exit this fucked up place and crossed over where there was a 711 24-hr store.
there i told dearie to go in and get whatever drink she desired. as she was coming out....a spacesphip landed....hahahaha....;9)
along came, s/he/it - JACYS, the alien from pluto!
jacys: hi guys!....u must be the most bo liao notorious leetahsar....?
lts: huh?...u know me meh??? and who are u... chiohunk alien from pluto???
dearie: bob, this is s/he/it, JACYS...dun u know him??
hmmp! as though i care! anyway, kaixin was friendly and handshook him. what to do, shook him, too....
jacys: so u r cantbeassed...the terror from ozzieland?
we laughed and chatted along the street. it was kind of weird talking and laughing on a busy street. i suggested we returned to the lounge and so we proceed back.

...to be cont'd....

JUICING JACYS, the s/he/it from pluto

one fine sunday, i just came back from a hearty sweat out in california gym, my handphone beeped.
"WANNA MEET UP?" went the message. scrolled down...and oh my god!! i had forgotten. dearie was in town. i hurriedly changed and zoomed off to meet her at GRAND PARK ROYAL PLAZA.
how blur could i get? i thought that was in orchard rd so i smsed dearie whether it was next to LIDO. no reply. presumed it was and headed in that direction taking bus.
reaching there, it was ROYAL PLAZA HOTEL or something like that and hell! it was under renovation. NOT OPENED UNTIL NEXT YEAR.
goodness me!! i gooned again! called dearie, she too was blur and din know how to describe her location. someone else took over her handphone. kaixin was on the line. he directed me concisely and off i went - in bus again to RPH which was located just next to FUNAN THE IT MALL....what a blur goon i was!
was in the bus now. the hp beeped again: "bob, u gotta to hurry...kaixin is so quiet. i m very boring...."
hmmm...kaixin the cheongster quiet?? boring?? din sound like him. he was a CHEONGSTER and cheongster was suppose to be gifted with glib of the tongue. if not, how to cheong??
finally, i reached the hotel. zoomed into the lounge where they were idling away, each with a whiskey and coke.....the bar was bare except for the 'assets' and the 'cheongster'....hahahaha....'9)....and...and....and....

simmer down, guys and girls!!
...and...and..and...
AND NOTHING HAPPENED!....hahaaa...got'cha!
why? u r thinking dearie cantbeassed would be passionately smooching our resident cheongster....frenchieing and steaming up the bar?....no! nothing of that happen.
they were very decent good girl and boy sitting very discipline on the high stool sipping their whiskey coke....yes, what a let down!
lts: dearie!! u r back!!....this must be cai sim?
kaixin: yes kai xin...not ur regular veggie cai sim....hahaha...
dearie: hi ya, bob! u r looking good!....
just could help taking my eyes off to immense assets. and kaixin, my goodnes...he looked like an authentic monk to me!.....not a monk wannabe, an abbot maybe!....haahahaa...
he radiated with glow that any mum would love him to be her dutiful son-in-law....so any mum out there picking a prospective son in law?...u got one super qualified one here...hahahaha....cai sim kaixin....hahahaha....;9)
after the intro, i sat down. the chiobu bartender asked me what would i ve. of course my usual, H20 on rocks....made that the tap H20 ...sorry no PERRIER...no mineral...just TAP will do, thank you.
the disappointed girl was just too glad to serve me after i electrocuted her with my power gaze.....;9)
after a sip of my TAP, i started the conversation rolling. i could sense dearie was getting a bit sleepy and kaixin was restless.
lts: how dearie, what brings u back so soon?
dearie: huh, bob....u forgotten....i m here for my shopping spree..
lts: wow, rich girl!!...and what about u kaixin, what's up with u?
kx: no lah...me only lecturing.....to tell u the truth...but pls keep it a secret, can?....(sorry, i posted this FR so no more secret liao).....me an associate professor, bluffing away in NANTAH U....but again like all NANTAH professors, we are always conned by cheena mei meis....*sigh!*....me included....*sigh again!*
lts:...u mean all NANTAH bigshots not only big up there...very big itchy down there too???
kx blushed. dearie burst out laughing, her mouthful of whiskey coke almost splashed out!
awkard silence followed. i stared at dearie's right er..u know what...kx stared at her left u know what too. cos when she laughed heartily, her u know whats vibrated tremendously...hahahaha...;9)
aiyah!...shit!! this is an adult story...i better make it straight: U KNOW WHATS were her big assets boobs!
dearie wasn't restrained too...dun ever think she is! if she could make her eyes go in different direction, her left would be staring at my stuff down there. her right would be at kx's bigger stuff down his....;9)
but knowing she couldn't she looked to the left, then to her right...we knew what was she looking at *blush, blush*....hahahaha....;9)... the horny girl from oz!
after she down her dunno how many drinks, i called for dinner. me hungry after a hard work out and so was kx. as for dearie, whiskey coke was her main course. she must have been a thirsty fish in her past life....;9(
we proceeded to a nearby basement food court at peninsula plaza, ordered our food and settled to eat.
something weird started to happen....i observed a drastic change in dearie...OH MY GOD!!....WHAT'S HAPPENING TO HER???....she ...she...she turned into......

to be cont'd.....

Thursday, December 14, 2006

I WAS NAKED IN THE GYM!

http://forums.delphiforums.com/leetahsar/messages


I WAS NAKED IN THE GYM!

raining and raining this month. such a depressive period. monsoon season now on so remember ur umbrella when u go out.
since i could hardly go to swim in queenstown pool, the other alternative to rid my piggy lard or ter yu was to go to my california fitness gym.
yesterday i was there again. wow! mediacorpse guo, liang pan ling2 and shaun chen (the idiot who acted xiao xin in holland v) was there filming.
guo liang was very friendly. i exclaimed, "hey, guo liang??" he smiled as exclaimed courtesouly, "ni hao." pan ling2 also smiled. but shaun was with a bf. this chap really got small little beady eyes.
anyway bo chap n proceed to work out in gym.
after sweating it out, headed for the changing room to shower. after a refreshing massaging shower (got massage shower head), returned to my locker wrapped only by towel.
troubles brewing.......;9(


I LOST MY KEYS to my lock of my locked locker!!!
how???
panic crept onto me!....i was naked saved only by the towel around my fat piggy waist!
just when i needed james, the indian juga who used to oversee the changing room, he wasn't around. having no choice, i stormed out of the changing room to the main area....down to the reception...and what else...announce my predicament to the staffs there.
it was an embarrasing moment cos i wasn't with power abs yet...i was with a combination of all the abs...a big ball of TER YUE for my tummy....;9( wrapped in towel.
the staff, the arabian sweet girl who very awk ka liao with me brought me to the towel room. the uncle in charged wasn't around...hell!!..he had gone for dinner. what to do now?
she advised me to return to the changing room and wait for me. once he was backed from his meal, he would come to my aid.
bo bian! returned to the changing room feeling very very pissed!
feeling bored, i went to steam it out at the suana room....

WARNING: NEVER...I REPEAT...NEVER DOZE OFF IN SUANA ROOM!!

That was precisely what happened to me...when the uncle came to wake me up from the suana room...shit!! i was exposed!...my towel was on the moist floor....*blush*
good thing, i wasn't singing the mari kita national anthem then....;9(
quickly i wrapped myself up...i got no time to think of whether i was deviously being molested or what when i dozed off. off i exit with the uncle. he was carrying a threatening monstrous clipper. an cutter that could break the lock or my anaconda too...hahahaha...;9)
SCARY AND THREATENING cutter that was!
before he went into action, he pulled out a bunch of keys from his pocket. wriggling infront of me....hallelujah!!! THOSE WERE MY LOST KEYS to my lock.
i was so happy and thanked him profusely short of smacking him...hahahaha....;9)
finally got the lock opened without breaking it. changed and quickly buzzed off.
in the bus, i was wondering....when i dozed off, what could have happened?....why was my tightly wrapped towel on the floor?...oh my god!!! did someone - u know - play with my ding dongs??...blush..blush...and blush...i shudder to think of what could have happened.
haizz!! can't be bothered lah...it's just a piece of meat ..a piece of muscle....and a piece of unreveled embarrassment!...*blush*

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

lure of the green undies, oh my god!

lure of the green undies, oh my god!


yesterday, something funny happened in this forum...I WAS BANNED ...dunno why. no one told me the reason too.

it was very sunny so off i went to queenstown pool for a dip since could no longer access to post.

things could never get weirder yesterday.

inside the gents changing room, there was a silly indian - look like a FT professional. i was feeling good so i whistled as i changed into my st michael's swim trunk.

i whistled. he whistled too. i whistled louder. he followed suit. then he smiled at me. goodness! the toilet seem brighter with his set of gleaming pearly teeth!.

i smiled back as a friendly courteous gesture. after pulling up my trunk and tightened it, off i went to the pool.......

.....to be cont'd......




PART 2


about an hour later, i reckon i must have burnt off enough ter yue (piggy lard), i emerged from the pool...proceed to the changing room.

it was terribly quiet. the whole changing room was bare except for a flashing green light enamating from one of the hangers. oh goodness!....A FLOURESCENT LIME GREEN UNDIES!!!

it was hanging there....waving franctically at me to go nearer and investigate. that was precisely what i did..

wow! not bad...not bad at all. BUMS brand undies. the high end expensive one. i bought a set of 3 too for like $19, meaning each was about $6+. this undies was of special material called microfibre or the same type used to make swimtrunks.

ho say!! looked quite brand new...so i checked it out. and to my disappointment, M size. me was XL. how could i wear that? my disciplined anaconda sure would be suffocated in it......;9(

so no choice, i left it there alone......i was definitely sure that green undies was crying its heart out too.....off i went into the showering cubicle.

as i was showering away, another guy came in. the whole changing room now only me showering and that weirdo guy who just came in.

when i exit from the cubicle...oh my god!!.....that weirdo guy was sniffing the green undies!!!....yucks!

he took the undies after a few deep sniff and put it into his bag and went out. i was stunned!.....anyway, it wasn't my size. if not, i would have taken it instead...hahahaha...mati!....flame bombs heading this way again!!

..........to be cont'd.......

part 3: LURE OF THE LIME GREEN UNDIES

that wasn't the end of my green undies story....
i dried myself with towel. stripped naked...yes naked with dingdong and anaconda exposed! was about to put on my own personal pairs of XL BUMS undies, the bloody FT indian suddenly entered and startled me. i tot he had already left an hour ago when i first met him initially changing when i just entered to change into my swim trunk.
he was staring me there....i blushed...and quickly pulled up my BUMS. lecherously smiling away, he approached me and asked me whether i noticed a lime green undies. it was his and he forgot to retrieve it.
am i suppose to believe his lame excuse and story?
so i told him: oh i din take it. but a really chiohunk who is damn handsome and muscular took it....
wow! u should ve seen his bewildered excited and ethusiastic face. without a word of thanks he rushed out to hunt for that exaggerated 'chiohunk' i cooked up for him.....he tot that guy must have his lime green undies and i guessed most u all would know what's his lustful intention.
as for me, i quickly changed and get the hell out of the toilet and out of the pool just in case that bloody FT indian came back...
there is a saying in hokkien: bo herr, hay ya ho.
translated: if u cannot get the fish, then the prawn will do...
AND DEFINITELY, I WASN'T GOING TO BE THAT SITTING 'PRAWN'!.....hahahahaha...;9)
...end of the green undies lure......;9)

Friday, December 08, 2006





the face looks like a flying fox....hahahaha..but this is not a flying fox.....;9)






neither is this.....;9)

MY PET FOXIE, THE FLYING FOX

guess what i saw?.....

FLYING FOXES....one whole brood of them feasting on my ripen pink guavas. they were hanging upside down with the hind legs holding firm to the branches and their fore legs which is linked with a stretchable membrane - the wing with their hinds.
cousin peeleepian was there with me and we were gazing at it. i din know when a missile was shot out from peelepian's handy catapult. it hit bullseye at one of the hungrily feasting creatures. it fell....and the rest of the flying foxes were startled and flew away squeaking noisily as they went.
i was shock. why did peelepian do that for? we headed to the fallen target. it was already dead bleeding from the head.....;9(
peeleepian was one bold bloke. he flipped the carcass over. oh my god!! clinging in fright onto it was a baby flying fox!
peeleepian was drooling and told me he would barbeque it. he said it was very nutritious and delicious. i asked for the baby flying fox. if not, i think it would also end up in his tummy......;9(
this began my acquaintance with flying fox.....
i named it foxie. it was cute and a female. it was already quite developed with wings and big soulful gazing eyes. i used a used towel and hanged it upside down carefully placing the baby flying fox inside.
since it was a baby, i went to get some KLIM milk powder and mixed it water. then i fed it to the fox with a straw. happily it loved it and was suckling quite greedily....;9)
very soon after a few weeks, foxie was grown. i kept it in my big rabbit cage. yes...me was keeping rabbits too then with the hamsters, guinea pigs..and my white duck...and chickens with their brood of chicks.
it was a mini zoo in my large fenced up compound where the guava tree proudly shaded over us.
there wasn't much of a rapport between me and foxie. i fed it regularly from dropped guavas. all it knew was feeding time. greedy critter was quite blainless!
when it reached quite mature size, granny told me to let it go...or else, she would love to cook it in double boiled tonic.
reluctantly, i let it out for the last time. she was quite tame and would allow me to stroke her belly. the dark golden brown fur was really soft and silky. she loved it and would wriggle her hind legs like a little doggie. in fact it was like a little doggie!
i left her out. it flew awhile. then she would return to me clinging invertedly on my outstretched forearm wrapped in towel. her claws were rather sharp, u know. i would fling her ...and off she flew away.
i let her had all the freedom expecting she to just flew away. but no she din. soon night fell. the guava tree was in season again and loaded with fruits.
the swarm of flying foxes came a visiting once more.....next morning, foxie was gone. there was a tinge of unwillingness welling within me....but then for her own good, she should go.

Friday, December 01, 2006

PART 5 - THE FLYING TREE GECKO and THE FLYING FOX

a sudden shadow flit. yes! something was at the trunk of my guava tree as i gazed up from my supine postion on the swing.

i got up and went to look at the upright strong brownish trunk. aye.....nothing leh..why??? wait!! what's that white flashing little triangle thing??....

i observed closely....yes!! there was something there. a big gecko...a big brown lizard fleshing its white little triangular piece of skin from its throat.

up i climbed....silently and stealthly....i grabbed its tail and swooshed down to the ground.

i just caught a lizard with wings!! A FLY GECKO!!

it started to wriggle in frenzy.......i was a bit startled and unsure whether it would bite or not so in a quick swing i flung it away...

it was a beautiful manouvre. it sort of 'fly'....gliding gracefully upwards to the guava trunk.....and quickly crawling upwards until i lost sight of it.....

everyday i would lay on my swing and look up for the graceful gliding flying gecko. i din disturb it anymore and treat it as my new found weird pet. the one that was almost held in captivity by me.......;9)

i decided not to disturb it as i had no idea how was i going to keep it. it needs to fly and glide. i also din no what kind of foods it should be feeding on....so the best thing was to leave it alone to fly around my guava tree......;9)

night fall, it was the super guava season. one just needed to look up and u would see the whole tree laden with yummy big fruits...yum yum......not not yum yum for long......

shadowy flitting creatures came in brood to land on my guava tree. they were squeaking. i grabbed my torchlight and shined at them.....guess what i saw?..........

to be cont'd.......

THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE IS still FREE OF CHARGE...


the majestic of a sunrise symbolises new day...new hope...new life....new expectation.....

THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE IS FREE...

THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE IS FREE...
the fresh crisp morning air...the beautiful azure clear blue sky..the wondrous majestic rainbow after a drizzle....the cooling rains after a spell of sizzling heat.....
the warm smile of a total stranger...and the charity of the lost $5....
they are priceless!....very sadly, not many can see it. most take it for granted and even ignore all this miraculous natural occurences.....sad....;9(
so from today, let's enjoy all these god's wonders....and set free the bond that binds ur heart...let us regain the compassion within us that was lost along the way when we were distracted by the avarice of material gains and wealth.....
these are the wealth even the poorest possesses and no one ...not even the paps can take that away...
THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE IS STILL AND TRULY FREE OF CHARGE!

PART 5: WHERE THE INSECTS STICK AND THE GECKO FLIES

my next weird pet - STICK INSECTS and FLYING LIZARD

PART 5: WHERE THE INSECTS STICK AND THE GECKO FLIES

my monster pink guava tree never failed to delight me with a hosts of surprises.

i just bucked up my courage and tried to climb it. as i was climbing, manouvering the branches with my limps, i chanced upon a funny looking stick.

i thought i saw it moved. when i paused to observe, it was motionless. then i looked closely. it appeared to be an elongated insect. IT'S A BROWN STICK INSECT!

wow!! i was thrilled. further up above me, i noticed there were another few moving sticks.

goodie!....i descended. ran into the kitchen. searched for a plastic bag and a rubber band to tie. and hurriedly climbed up the branch again to catch all the stick insects.

my grandma told me stick insects loved guava leaves. no problem. i got a whole monster tree.

i reared my stick insects in a empty aquarium and place daily fresh twigs of guava leaves for them to feed...such fun to see the slow knotty movement of the insects.

if u startled them, they just freeze and really looked like a twig from the guava branch.....;9)

one day, i was sitting on my swing in my big garden compound with the guava shading over it. i slept on the swing looking up...

ZOOM! Something just flitted across one branch to another....I though it was a fluttering of the leaves shadow...but no! there it went again - and not flick...there was something just glide over....

to be cont'd...

PART 5: SPIDERS FEEDING TIME...

After we had witnessed the FUCK SPIDER, i will now narrate about how to feed the spiders....
as everyone knows, the old days kampong was infested with mozzies...big monster sized ones. if u got bitten, it would be one big itchy lump on ur skin....;9(
funny though like no one ever died of dengue fever in my kampong even though mozzies were festering!
this was how we fed the spiders. peeleepian and me would go to the most mozzies infested area. we stood still there with a plastic bag tied to ur trousers.
the mozzies would come to feast on us. usually we went about topless. so i would observe peeleepian skin; he on me.
once a mozzie landed on either of us and started sucking our blood. we tolerated and let the insect swelled up its body. then controlling our strength, we smacked onto the insect. we didn't kill it. we just knocked it out. it was still alive...maybe just stunned.
then we would peel off the wings rendering it flightless and put it into our plastic bag and headed back home to our pet spiders.
we would then let it out and put a wingless mozzie on the matchbox top. the hungry spiders would pranced, posed and then steady itself taking accurate aim, it would pounce on the wriggly blood fattened up mozzie.
that would be its meal for the day.
oh yes, we also fed our spiders with out spittle, too. usually after we sucked on a sweet, we spat a tiny globulus of sweetened spittle and released our pet spiders.
it would love our spittle and fester on it quite motionless like enjoying every drop of it......;9)
gross?....come to think of it....PRETTY GROSS!...hahahaha.....;9)
- end of fighting and fucking spiders.....;9)

PART 4: LET'S PLAY FIGHTING SPIDERS


cousin peeleepian was one hell of a guy. he liked got built in spiders sensor. he knew where it would be hiding.
we must be very slow and cautious when trying to catch this illusive iridescent jumping fighting spiders which were quite small and black with bluish green shiny stripes. what a beauty they were!
it lived in between 2 blades of leaves. peeleepian would stoop down to see if there was the arachid dwelling in between 2 leaf blades. once he was sure there was one inside there, he would clasp both his palm gently over the blades and in a swift move, snapped the whole branch and quickly put the who thing in the transparent plastic bag that we brought lest the spider would just jump off into the forested floor and be lost!.
we were looking for the slimmer body male spider. only the male fights. the females breed and are bigger with a rounder abdomen and smaller frontal pincers pair of legs.
i loved to rear and keep the female cos it was cuter and ...i dunno...appeared to be friendlier and easily trained....
YES I TRAINED THOSE FIGHTING SPIDERS....lol!
after we had caught enough...and it was tedious work actually. it was difficult to allocate the hideout of these spiders, u know. we would happily return home to "train" our pet spiders.......;9)
i would put the male one into the empty match box lined with a blade of leaf. it would willingly jump in and then hide under the leaf.
for the female, i put it in a jar and place more leaves inside cos the female might breed.
if we noticed the female had bigger swollen abdomen, this mean that she was loaded with eggs. we would mate her with the male spider.
this was a very weird process cos if u leave the female and the male alone, they would fight instead of mate. and this was what we would do.
first, the female spider was let out onto the matchbox. then i would gently press on her abdomen. she would be render quite motionless except her head would be exposed.
then cousin peelepian would let our the male spider onto the matchbox top. the male spider then would start doing a very funny 'spider dance' with out stretched frontal longer legs. it would vibrate its pair of legs and slowly approach the immobilised female and the legs would dig into her thorax quivering and quivering......this mean that mating had already taken place.
after the male deposited his cum into the fat female and lost interest, peelepian would return it into the matchbox. i would release the female spider and returned her to her glass jar.
within days, she would be weaving a cocoon and laying her eggs....and soon u find many tiny spiders hatching.
at this stage, it would be appropriate to release all the baby spiders and the female mother to the wild....u see how we preserved those spiders even at our tender age, we were already practising conservation......;9)
as for the male, well, once a while, we would let 2 males hop onto the matchbox top and they would fight it out.....very interesting sight. they would use their front pair of legs to push each other. the loser would let go and run away.
do u know what we use to feed the spiders?
.......to be cont'd......

PART 3: FIGHTING SPIDERS....AND FUCK SPIDERS.

more pets to come....;9)

For those who dunno where the term FUCK SPIDERS come from...well, read this and u may know it's originality....hahahahah.....;9)
cousin peeleepian and i were the best childhood pals. not only he was my cousin, he was liked tarzan. he was my idol, u know. he feared nothing. whatever creepies crawlies, critters, yucking things...etc...he grabbed!
he influenced me greatly...so i also grabbed what ever things that crawled, swam, flew or bite.
like i said before, we were simple kampong kids. poor but happy. we got not many toys to play with as our parents were poor then. but we were very courageous and creative .
peeleepian always would bring me to mt faber area to catch spider. under the hill, used to live a sinewy old malay man. he had a small plot of land there where he grew rambutan and planted tapioca and sweet potatoes.
yum...yum....we would always time the ripening so that we could steal some of pak awang's harvest...hahahaha...;9)
pak awang as a nasty old fuck! he would scream at us when he found us digging up the his tapiocas or sweet potatoes.
it was a good thing he was a limp. if not we would not be able to escape him so easily with all the loots......;9)
in my old kampong house was a large compound where grandma since young had grown a guava tree. this wonderful pink fruit tree had since grown old with my my grandma. it was monstrous and majestic not only providing the family with much need shade but vit C rich pink guavas. the fruits were abundant. i never passed a day without eating a couple of those seedy sweet guavas. it was like my daily staple of fruits too.....;9)
my pink guava tree also attracted many different kinds of colorful and rare birds....yellow merobok, the sweet singing merobok, parrots, thrushes, etc....and once even the rare hornbills...no joke!
these hornbills were scary bird...so large and with the monstrous yellow curved beak. the pair which frequently my guave tree really looked menancingly threatening.
so as it was ....kampong days passed by so relaxed and not a dull moment.
peelepian would visit me almost everyday to climb the guava tree and pluck the ripe fruits. he could pluck so many at one go, we even had many spares to distribute to my favorite neighbour next door, ah eng. this hardworking girl helped my mum to look after all my tender siblings....
(ah eng had since passed away a few years back. she was inflicted with lung cancer after years of working in the petrol kiosk. she was barely 50 then....sob...sad....;9(
granny would want me to pluck those overly ripen fruits. i shuddered when she chomped into it with her quite toothless mouth. do u know why?
over riped fruits contained tiny squiggling maggots. it wrrigled frantically when u broke open the riped soft yellow fruit that exposed it's pink flesh...and *yucks!*..those wriggling maggots..
granny said those were the sweetest with the maggots. she even assured us it was ok to devour the fruits with those tiny white worms....*yucks!*...no thanks gran...u can have all the wormy fruits to ur delights!
while peeleepian climbed the tree, i would fix 2 lengths of tied bamboo poles extending the lengths as to hit down any high up good size guava.
my brother and sisters would also join in the fun and picked the fallen fruits....2 joined extended bamboo poles were really heavy to handle.....so only me being the eldest of the brood was strong enough to held it.
it was really really fun....what next to do was to wash the fruits and supped!........;9)
next, peeleepian would bring me to mt faber. this time we armed with empty match boxes and plastic bags again.
we were going to catch those iridescent bluish green jumping fighting spiders.....
to be cont'd........