LIVE THE DREAM: spotlights, camera, action and wtf!! big hairy prick mic!!

yes!
i was there yesterday - a Sunday. i went for the audition. it was the last day.
well, i didn't make it. but i was bold enough to go.
guide: uncle, ur turn next. standing on the silver marked box. hold ur number card. intro urself and the song u wanna sing. got it?
lts: yes...sure....ok
in i went holding the #card. they photoshot me like a convict. oh..the glaring spotlight. er...what's that hanging above huh??

oh my god!
a monstrous greyish ...hairy...pricky mic!!
judge 1: relax la uncle.... (woooh! i hated it when they called me that - UNCLE!)
judge 1: ya...leelax la....dun look at the prick..i mean the mic...leelax...u can sing anytime u r ready ok, uncle.... (shit! she called me that again....;9(

so i began....
LTS: hi everyone, my name is bob my er convict # is 12358...shit if u read it in canto..yat yi sum mmmh fa*..hahaha....;9( ( *1, 2, 3...whole life cannot prosper)
hahahahaha...they laughed....;9)
i continued: i would like to sing I LEFT MY HEART IN SAN FRANCISCO.....hey!..wait!...i know u!!...u r dunno what HUSSEIN...champion in old old talentime, right?
shit! my old old already offended HUSSEIN....she smiled wryly: ok bob,...(smiled rather strangely)...anytime u r ready...belt it out.....(weak smiled)...
judge1: ann...
lts: huh?...what where got ant??
judge1:...no ANN!....oh...neber mind...just sing!
oh dear!!....i offended 2 judges at one go. she was ann hussein!
LTS: oh ya!!...ANN HUSSIEN!!....i participated in the talentime u were in...about 20+ years ago!!!...u won the contest, right...right???....(all eager now).
judge2: ya..ya...hehehe...(weak embarrassed laughter..meaning i had unwittingly told everyone there she was already a lau cha bor! i had rubbed acid into her wound. shit! still i blur blur..;9(
so...i closed my eyes. briefly meditated...and sang..
I LEFT MY HEART IN SAN FRANCISCO....*blank off!*
hell!! i forgot the lyrics...after CISCO...mati lah!!!......;9(

heck care la!...just belt it all out! finally i finished the song. i knew i was done for it too.
a cute mei mei guided me to the result room. hell! i needed a leak! off i zoomed to the gents...and ..and...wtf! not

the toilet was bloody remote. when i entered, a hunk was singing his wank...wait!...wanking his song??...what the fuck did he think he was doing!!??
he smiled bashfully at me...zipped up and zoomed out! after i released my frothy niagra fall, i too zipped up and zoomed back to the result room and waited aniticipatingly.
numbers by numbers were called. those called first were have to F off. they didn't make it. i was still sitting there. my # 12358 not called yet..hehehehe....;9)
i was in ecstasy too early...
12358...sorry, u din make it.
oh shit!...i knew it!! ok lor, my turn to F off....;9(