BURMESE PRINCE

MY BURMESE PRINCE

this one very very uncanny and weird. totally unexpected!
he's from burma or myanmar, its new name. his name is MIN THEN. i knew him some years back. he worked in a hospital where i landscaped and maintained the garden there.
since then, he already returned to myanmar. now he was back!!....and i got to meet him in my mei ling!! no joke!
it was a lazy sunday. actually everyday is a lazy sunday to me...hahahaha....;9). i went to mei ling for lunch. after a shiok super serving of lor mee which only cost $2, i proceed to the hainanese kopi stall for my teh C siew dai (less sugar).
"boob...!" a voice suddenly rang out behind me. " boob sim!!!...hey!!"
i turned. a handsome chinese looking guy waving frantically at me. "who the hell is this chio idiot??"
he stood up smiling and flashing his gleaming set of teeth. "boob sim!!! min then...min then....u forgot about me??" he called out.
oh shit! no!!! THE BURMESE PRINCE!!!

lts: min then!!...oh yes! i remember. u worked in that hospital i landscaped...right?
min: ya la!...aiyo, why u here?
lts: i stay here what...and why you here?
min: u dunno la....last time i lived here u know...wah lau!...we lived so near and we still dunno!! i went back for a few years. got married. set up business there. my wife asked me come back here to study....then i go back open hotel la.
lts: huh?...open hotel??...u so bloody rich man!!!...can i call u godfather?..hahahaha...
min: aiyo....boob sim, u dunno la...i need a place to rent. i like here cos very convenient to go to my school. i only staying for 6 mths. my course will finish and i go home. u got house to rent or not...
yes i got. but how should i tell him? renting him would be giving extra income to my lauhanku to go and fuck spiders in hatyai. how to answer him??
silly o' me!! brought him home for tea!!!.....;9(
this blurpiggy never learns his lesson!! for sure!!

now my headache start!
he loved my placed - my 2 units pigeonholes. he loved my plants from one end of the corridor right to the doorsteps....and shit!! he loved me!!......;9(
...and that's where my problem commenced.....;9(


min: boob sim, u dunno...i now staying with my other burmese friends in machperson. one room about 8 persons sleeping. very smelly, packed and very hot u know. can rent one room to me...please la....i cannot concentrate my study la....i like clean clean room...not like the one i m staying now.....very sianzzz u know....
he looked at me pathetically. what was i suppose to do?
lts: ok, i ask my parents and see how...i think i ask my old man first? (i knew that would get him work up and maybe so excited he could drop dead!)
yes, it got him very very excited but he didn't drop dead. he blasted his loudest stereo...but still he didn't drop dead.
lts: see min then....u heard the stereo hor...i can't help u la...i ask around for u ok...can or not...give me some time. i go ask around for u.
min was so touched he was closed to tear. he hugged me...oh dear!!!....i just patted him and ensure i would help him.
after some chatting and tea, it was time for him to buzz off to his school for class. we parted.
u think i said said only, right?
WRONG!! i did ask starting from my floor. all the way down...up the block. all the way to the market. to the hawker stalls.
BINGO!!! THERE WAS ONE OLD MAN who was willing to rent out his room.
soon, min then shifted into the old man's pigeonhole...and my troubles began.....;9(

min then was very thankful to me. he was truly grateful...oh shit!! so grateful, he started bring me gifts...my goodness!
first it was burmese fried garlic. hmmm! very nice. ate already plenty of garlic farts...stinky and very durably lasting. mamalee frown cos it was the only natural fresh garlic scented 'air freshener' in the house...hahahaha.....;9)
i told min then to keep all his foodstuffs to himself. he is away from home, he should use it for himself. i do not need them. and he came again. this time with - oh my god!! - deer antler meat or lu rong. this one very powderful aphrodiasic!
mamalee used to double boiled this for my lauhanku. maybe that makes him what he is today: a very good marikita singer...that one in between his legs, i mean. it always standing attention to our national anthem except he 'sings' it regularly to his teetujias or spider spirits in hat yai.....;9(
lts: wow min then!!....this also u got..u take already very horny u know hor??
min: ya la ...i know. why u think my wifey so like me? *mischievous wink at me!*
boob sim, can intro me some girlfriends or not?
lts: huh?...intro what??!!..YOU WANNA DIE IS IT!!...u come to study or come to play with mei meis??
min: aiyo...sorli la...beri lonely sometime u know....*that sulking pathetic expression again*
yes, boob sim...my inlis beri bed...can u teach me??..can..pleassssssssse?
siao liao!!!....how now??...how huh??? am i suppose to be his inlis english

lts: serious or not you?
min then nodded..again that pitiful expression and pouty lips.
lts: ok lor...can! $200 per mth. want?
min: aiyo...alamak...*&"�$#@ (dunno what burmese. could be F words)....dun like that la... *sulk, pout...wink*
lts: ok...$50 ...for u...special...$50...
min: dun want la....
lts: $5....ok...$5
min: umhmmm..boob sim...! umhmmm....
wow lau! trying to get fresh with me?
lts: ok...GO TO HELL!!.....;9(

MIN: sorli ...boob sim...sorli....u see...i dun want wifey to send me more money. i try to get a part time job. if u can help me.....get one for me ..can...can?
see....i m now like his nanny. everything pao ka liao for him....jialat and chum for me....;9(
lts: oh really? can i pimp u off as a gigolo...i get 70% u take 30%...can?...u very cute...can make many many money..hahahaha...;9)
min blushed and flushed with embarrassment.
min: never mind. i go ask my burmese friends. but can teach me inglis or not...pleasssssse..pleassssssse...i clean ur 2 houses free of charge..pleasssssssse...pleasssssssse...
i was at my wit's end: ok...ok...i help u....u dun need to clean my flats...i got maid.
min: thank you, boob sim...( shit!! he hugged me again! i gotta to push him away. maybe i should smack him to remind him � � � � �� ���)
lts: min then! just say thank you, can already...DON'T HUG ME AGAIN!! OK??
instead of being his inlis english teacher, i ended up his personal secretary.
i m suppose to finish all his assignment like YOU R NOW THE GENERAL MANAGER OF A 500 ROOMS 5 STAR HOTEL. THERE ARE MANY COMPLAINTS FR GUESTS. HOW TO RECTIFY THE PROBLEM AND IMPROVE THE HOTEL'S IMAGE and increase business for the hotel.
min then, if i know hor....I WOULD BE THE GM OF THE HOTEL! I WON'T BE WRITING THIS STUPID ASSIGNMENT FOR U!!
but bo bian, i had finished it. he had handed it in. his lecturer said it was fantastic!! he would let me know the grade when the papers are returned to him.
and now, there is another immediate assignment:
YOU R NOW THE SECURITY MANAGER - SAME HOTEL . how do u improve the security and safety of hotel guests without making the guest feeling uncomfortable.
basket how???....who can do this assignment for me???
20 july '07. suppose to hand up this assignment.
me and my kaypohji nature!!!...kek sim!!.....;9(

MIN: sorli ...boob sim...sorli....u see...i dun want wifey to send me more money. i try to get a part time job. if u can help me.....get one for me ..can...can?
see....i m now like his nanny. everything pao ka liao for him....jialat and chum for me....;9(
lts: oh really? can i pimp u off as a gigolo...i get 70% u take 30%...can?...u very cute...can make many many money..hahahaha...;9)
min blushed and flushed with embarrassment.
min: never mind. i go ask my burmese friends. but can teach me inglis or not...pleasssssse..pleassssssse...i clean ur 2 houses free of charge..pleasssssssse...pleasssssssse...
i was at my wit's end: ok...ok...i help u....u dun need to clean my flats...i got maid.
min: thank you, boob sim...( shit!! he hugged me again! i gotta to push him away. maybe i should smack him to remind him � � � � �� ���)
lts: min then! just say thank you, can already...DON'T HUG ME AGAIN!! OK??
instead of being his inlis english teacher, i ended up his personal secretary.
i m suppose to finish all his assignment like YOU R NOW THE GENERAL MANAGER OF A 500 ROOMS 5 STAR HOTEL. THERE ARE MANY COMPLAINTS FR GUESTS. HOW TO RECTIFY THE PROBLEM AND IMPROVE THE HOTEL'S IMAGE and increase business for the hotel.

min then, if i know hor....I WOULD BE THE GM OF THE HOTEL! I WON'T BE WRITING THIS STUPID ASSIGNMENT FOR U!!
but bo bian, i had finished it. he had handed it in. his lecturer said it was fantastic!! he would let me know the grade when the papers are returned to him.
and now, there is another immediate assignment:
YOU R NOW THE SECURITY MANAGER - SAME HOTEL . how do u improve the security and safety of hotel guests without making the guest feeling uncomfortable.
basket how???....who can do this assignment for me???
20 july '07. suppose to hand up this assignment.
me and my kaypohji nature!!!...kek sim!!.....;9(

MIN: sorli ...boob sim...sorli....u see...i dun want wifey to send me more money. i try to get a part time job. if u can help me.....get one for me ..can...can?
see....i m now like his nanny. everything pao ka liao for him....jialat and chum for me....;9(
lts: oh really? can i pimp u off as a gigolo...i get 70% u take 30%...can?...u very cute...can make many many money..hahahaha...;9)
min blushed and flushed with embarrassment.
min: never mind. i go ask my burmese friends. but can teach me inglis or not...pleasssssse..pleassssssse...i clean ur 2 houses free of charge..pleasssssssse...pleasssssssse...
i was at my wit's end: ok...ok...i help u....u dun need to clean my flats...i got maid.
min: thank you, boob sim...( shit!! he hugged me again! i gotta to push him away. maybe i should smack him to remind him � � � � �� ���)
lts: min then! just say thank you, can already...DON'T HUG ME AGAIN!! OK??
instead of being his inlis english teacher, i ended up his personal secretary.
i m suppose to finish all his assignment like YOU R NOW THE GENERAL MANAGER OF A 500 ROOMS 5 STAR HOTEL. THERE ARE MANY COMPLAINTS FR GUESTS. HOW TO RECTIFY THE PROBLEM AND IMPROVE THE HOTEL'S IMAGE and increase business for the hotel.
min then, if i know hor....I WOULD BE THE GM OF THE HOTEL! I WON'T BE WRITING THIS STUPID ASSIGNMENT FOR U!!
but bo bian, i had finished it. he had handed it in. his lecturer said it was fantastic!! he would let me know the grade when the papers are returned to him.
and now, there is another immediate assignment:
YOU R NOW THE SECURITY MANAGER - SAME HOTEL . how do u improve the security and safety of hotel guests without making the guest feeling uncomfortable.
basket how???....who can do this assignment for me???
20 july '07. suppose to hand up this assignment.
me and my kaypohji nature!!!...kek sim!!.....;9(

ringggggggg! my domestic phone rang cos i gave him that cos my hp had no free incoming calls cos i think it was going to be a long...long...long...conversation.
tommy: hi bob! everything's settled for me. we meet at chinatown at about 8pm.
da thum..da thum..da thum....my heart was thumping loud and fast.
who was this joker? how he got my name? where did he get my number?
the more i thought, the better curiosity got hold of me....;9)
i changed and zoomed off to meet him.
i was suppose to meet him at a bus stop infront of PEARL'S CENTRE which is near to outram mrt station.
alighting the bus, i gazed around for this mysterious indo joker.
ppppp...pp. my sms sounded: ARE U HERE?
i looked around. there was one tall guy gazing and shooting bak at me. could that be him? he told me he was like 1.83M and about 78kg. quite a big man like my aiyah dudi jixialan....;9)
i was about to approach that tall guy when suddenly there was a gentle tap on my shoulder behind me......