concluding part of MY JIALAT LAU BROKER

concluding part of MY JIALAT LAU BROKER....

ON and off, sln would ask my lau broker lau beh tong to call me and eat with them....chitchat and u know just to drink kopi and had high tea...maybe she got a kick being electrocuted from me by just gazing at her...

soon sln enrolled herself in SHATEC. she was supposed to finish her final years and suddenly she was pregnant. ????

everyone was blurred!

lbt's nephew ever saw sln with a dark man presumably an indian or mixed blood walking hand in hand down orchard rd.

the maid saw it too, complained to the sir and was cruelly tekan back by sln. of course maid no match for the dragon girl...if not she won't be maid , right?

result: she was terminated of her service and even tekan to the extend that she couldn't stay here. she packed and returned to phiippines....before she left she gave me her particulars and asked me to look up for her if i ever go there. all i need to do was to call her handphone there - she gave me that and she would send someone to pick me from airport to stay at her "palace" which was also her restaurant and residence...so enterprising this maid electrocuted by me too...hahahaha...;9)

lbt's nephew too witnessed the illicit lovebirds and promptly sent an anonymous letter to lbt who was furious....and asked me what should he do...well, what should i say?...

his nephew had told me the story...and what could i say...i just told him er...DUNNO ...DUN ASK ME...i dun want to get involved cos i knew lbt was head over heel over this evil sln...and offending him do me no good...he would eventually still married the dubiously "pregnanted" sln.

in the end, they married. sln dropped from her hotel catering class just weeks before her final exam...she just quit ....just like that....

in a couple of mths, she bombed gleneagle hospital with a baby girl. only lbt was thrilled, the rest of his tribe wasn't....me included...cos the bb looked more like an indian than a chinese....but lbt was estactic. he was thrilled that at his age, he still could manufacture a black doll. my god! bless u lbt! bless u!

in a mth time, they celebrated the bb's lst mth in a real grand manner....every guests was gossiping behind lbt's back....people were laughing and mocking him unknowlingly to him, of course....

before long, the mother teetujia also flew down from shanghai and stayed in lbt's guest room. next the teetukong, lbt's much younger father in law came in too...it was now more or less a teetu cave...with a new teetukia (baby spider)....

after celebrating the daughter's one year old birthday, sln told lbt she wanted to complete her study...but in australia.

off she flew there and spent about 3 yrs there completing a "degree" course. if u recall, lbt got a young spinster sis there too in oz. she was clever and hired a pte detective to check out on sln...and gosh! orgy...orgy...and more orgies...she sent those XXX pics back to lbt...one of the pic was with the dark sinkie lover...the rest all ang mors...

lbt chose not to believe and even snared back at his own sister warning her if she create problem for sln, he was going to evict her from his oz properties...and that was it!

the whole story tells us something very funny....the facts are all there laid out for lbt to see and yet he still choose to be ignorant...WHY?...

teetu juices...very very poisonous. it controls the blain and make it re-locate all blain juices to the little old dickhead of lbt. and that's why lbt would be forever in the clutch of the teetu siao loong nu....

even his will, everything goes to sln...i dun think any go to his sisters or brother....so the teetujia from shanghai has won....like most marital woes here with mei mei teetujias, they win....never had we seen any of this teetu loses a case...

maybe our judges are also manipulated by teetu see....i dunno...i just can't fathom out...why people just love to choose suffering as the ending to their otherwise happy life story...i really dunno....;9(

...the end?

HAVE A GOOD LAUGH....

HAVE A GOOD LAUGH....click on the above title and roftl ur guts out....hahahaha...;9)

CONTINUE LAUGHING.....:)

THIRTY LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

4. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.




6. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

10. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.




11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

13. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

15. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.




16. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

17. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

18. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

19. Procrastinate Now!

20. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?




21. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

22. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

23. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

24.They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.

25. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.






26. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

27. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

28. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

29. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.

30. I smile! because I don't know what the hell is going on.

for the weary, the toiled...and the troubled hearts....

may the light of the merciful buddha shines on u all ....dear brothers and sisters....in suffering....

NAMO ORNITOUFO.....

WISHING YOU......

Wishing you
In your busy life...

Time for Relaxation




Good Sleep




Good Health with Exercise




Someone to Dance With




A Bit of Adventure




Good Looks




But Most of All...

I Wish You Lots of Bear Hugs




And The Comforts of Real Love
Many Blessings...


May you always have love to share, health to spare, and friends that care.


But watch out for those penguins!

MY JIALAT LAU BROKER

lbt got a very faithful loyal filipino maid who on her free sunday was in orchard road with her species...chatting and potlucking all their shiok makan..yes! she was such a good cook....and er...she also electrocuted by me.

she's back in philippines now. before she left, she gave me all her info and invited me over to visit her. she told me just called her from the airport, she would send someone to pick me up. no need to stay hotel. she was like queen back home. she bought a few pieces of land and constructed a large restaurant cum residence. and she told me to cum cum see her...she would bring me around...no joke! maid also could be electrocuted by me...hahahaha...'9)

oops! back to story...

lau broker lau beh tong lived in a spacious bungalow in prime holland area. big but bare..siao loong nu knowing that i was a power horticulturist cum landscaper requested for my service.

so one fine day, i came with all my indian army to do up her spacious garden. do u know why suddenly she wanted to do?

cos the bungalow was a split level higher....and the living room faced into the lower level bungalow neigbour habited by a lau tee koo who could peep into the hall when she sat with the kar kwuee kwuee(legs wide open)..

she wanted me to plant something to screen up the otherwise opened for view mesh separating fence. i planted a row of fast growing chi lee xiang (7 miles fragrant) or botanical name..MURRAYA ODORATUM.

again her front facing area was also surrounded up by mesh wire fence and that she wanted it screened too. here i planted a row of hibsicus mix with assorted colors...

the murraya were now very thick and fully screened the neighour sight. the front portion was lovely with different colored hibiscus flowering non stop and attracted a hosts of sun birds to feed on the generous nectar from the flowers....

hardly did i notice, she was drooling while i was sweating like mad...my naked muscles and torso with my 2 sharp grape seeds (nipples) were flexing like u know arnold simiwanko(schazzeneger..how to spell that zzz name...the guy from TERMINATOR)...she was liked rubbing herself...i saw it when i momentarily looked into the hall where she was groping sliently at me...my muscles...my sweat...and dripped wet almost see through white shorts...with colored undies showing too....

it was done. i went into the hall and told her the job was finished. now pay me the money.

she kept staring at my naked sweaty torso...er...and my translucent colored undies beneath my white shorts. my overpowering mandom BO (body odor)... i blushed...and snapped her for payment.

this sLn like on the heat. suddenly her voice turned hornily sexy and asked me to follow her into her bedroom. by now she was already mrs lau beh tong liao...

me gong gong went behind her lor into her spider cave. she closed the door behind me....and...

...to be cont'd.....l9

From: Wisdoom999 14-Mar 20:36
To: leetahsar 1519 of 1528

83628.1519 in reply to 83628.1504

{u like to join this crazy gang?}

probably not...


the amount of threads so far scares me off ;-)

STORY CONT'D......

then she sat bitchily sexily on the chair giving me the on heat kind of look and asked me how much in a very low horny tone....

i passed her the bill. she read and kept sticking out her tongue like doing an oral. then she turned and asked me whether i need to shower cos my mandom bo was driving her nuts and high....

as by now u understand what a goon i am...so i said ok lor....

she directed me into the built in toilet, passed me a towel and gave me a wink. i dunno what she meant. couldn't be bother. just shut the door, stripped naked and showered...and out i sang...THERE GOES MY EVERYTHING....engelbert humperdnick...again?

as i was showering and enjoying the strong blasting spray, i tot i saw the keyhole flashed a bit...like u know an eye was peeping. omg! was i being peeped? jialat!! i was outraged of my modesty...shit!!!

there was no way i could sue right. i mean i being a chiohunk being peeped by a teeko sln...there was no way i could file a sexual harrassment complaint right? it was her home...and she could turn the table and said i exposed myself to her...and my god...in her own bedroom...mati this time....

having no choice, i covered the keyhole with a towel and finished my shower asap. changed and exited the toilet only to find sln bluff bluff sitting innocently on the chair and bluff bluff writing and holding my cheque for me...

without further ado, thanked her, grabbed cheque and scramp out of her room.....

story to be cont'd.....

MY JIALAT LAU BROKER

shanghai got the shrewdest and kannest and vilest bitch mei mei spider spirits.

my lau broker - freaking rich old chap nearly 70 - marries a young shanghainese mei mei sp sp back after she tour guided him there...and all the way back to his bedroom back in sinkieland.

she now lords over him. and she is barely 25. already got a kid for him - dunno who's actually cos the girl looks more indian than chinese - and my retired lau broker is a lauhankoo chinese.

to upkeep his youthfulness, the lau broker gotta to dye his hair black regularly, takes powederful dunno what cheena herbs this siao loong nu bought from her cheena homeland...maybe to advance him to his earlier grave then she could romp and ramp her secret indian lover...oops did i just said that...which explains why the poor lau broker is feeding other people's child and still so fucking happy..cos he can't admit the kid's simply not his. he does that he is as good as admitting he got no more sperm bullets left and is now simply wearing a colored hat, namely green....:9(

poor lau broker......for nothing go and invite shanghainess mei mei spider spirit home...and now not only she's here, her lau spider shanghainese mum also moves in...and his father in law who is so much younger than he is coming too...

goodness...this is getting exciting...my kaypoh cells full alert now...got juicy tales to come up soon...

er....u guys interested in this another real life story?.....lai yah! buy ur tickets ah!!....juicy, saucy...and really drama mama ...i mean...drama papa mama mei mei type u know...one of its unique...ONLY FROM LEETAHSAR....;9)

MY POOR LAU BROKER

lau beh tong is my broker for years since i was in secondary 2. i dunno but i think hor i look up to him as my fairy godfather cos he grants me wishes. he was and is my broker except he's retired now and looking after his supposed daughter who he thought he manufactured with siao loong nu.

sln was a shanghainese bitch. she was a tour guide waiting to devour sinkie lauhankoo especially. she was the shrewdest, vilest and kannest (dead cunning) mei mei spider spirit personified.

lau broker was once in shanghai to source for properties investment. he got many...this fairy godfather of mine. let me check...a few condos in kL...another in genting...another in penang.

australia also got a couple. his old spinister younger sis was there now...and pr there already to handle his ozzie props.

then shanghai...got a couple too. thanks to the siao loong nu, sln for short.

she met lau beh tong, lbt - for short, there. she merrily volunteered to be his guide...and bolster too during the night. of course, we all know how skilful siao loong nu is. she is an martial arts exponential in the CONDOR HEROES. and so is she in the martial arts world in the bedroom.

lbt was like having his second spring. u may like to know hor...lbt is another golden virgin ok...more powderful than urs truly...me golden...he...i think before he met sln was platinum or titanium....but now a lan cha cha (rotting lauhankoo)

so by guiding lbt, sln guided herself to his personal steamy bedroom here in holland area, sinkieland....and surprising soon there after, they married in a low key wedding reception.

of course, the fairy godson...that would be me was invited. and instead of i giving an angpow to someone young enough to be my daughter as the bride to lbt who is someone old enough to be her grandpa....she gave me a big angpow instead...saved for the frenchie kiss she nearly planted into my throat....and hell! i electrocuted her with my electrifying gazing eyes..YES! I DID ...I DID!

course after the wedding, she kept calling me to their big bungalow in holland area for dinner or just coffee and chit chat.

my chinese is very powderful...and i can slang like shanghainese u know...another inborn talent of this goon here.

and she kept asking me to visit her...soon i realised she wasn't really want me to chit chat to lbt. she wanted me to chit chat to her instead cos she lonely and din know many pals here. and she orgasmic everytime she get electrocuted by my gazing soulful eyes....hahahaha...89)

me and my big mouth again. advised her to take up some courses...the most expensive one...SHATEC...the hotel catering course we have here.

by jolly molly, she did. soon she was happily studying away. and me...well...no more going there for free makan or chit chat liao.

ltb was still brokering during that time. he hadn't really retired yet. he was still my fairy godfather always passing me shares tips...and goodness...as good as giving me money u know...and i dun feel inferior cos the money i made myself through his tips...hahahaha...;9)

we must keep our blain juices above the neck line and not southward...

this is what this pic is trying to tell us...

POWER TO THE JOHN POTATO SALAD

From: ilovesg 14-Mar 01:53
To: leetahsar 1501 of 1528

83628.1501 in reply to 83628.1500

Wah! can't believe it went over 1500 posts !! Nice recipe probably could i pop down and try your creation instead ?

From: leetahsar 14-Mar 09:48
To: ilovesg 1502 of 1528

83628.1502 in reply to 83628.1501

pls do tell us ur john's reaction after consumption.....be warned hor! it will get u realy horny....but must add in the fresh ROSEMARY for the effect...'9)

do let us know also ur overtime with gf or wifey...;9)

From: leetahsar 14-Mar 09:49
To: ilovesg 1503 of 1528

83628.1503 in reply to 83628.1501

maybe that's one of the reason italians are really juices charged up people....

refer to my italian gf story...page 1 to.....

From: leetahsar 14-Mar 10:02
To: Wisdoom999 1504 of 1528

83628.1504 in reply to 83628.1489

sorry left out this...

FOSC* : FULL OF SHITTY CRAPS.....

u like to join this crazy gang?

MY POWER POTATO SALAD....power to the john!!!

MY POWER POTATO SALAD....power to the john!!!

MY POWER DEADLY POTATO SALAD....
RECIPE:


branded potato...not local one very greenish smell local ones.
a bag of either RUSSETT, burbanks, bastagi, desiree - ex pink type or the super ex purplish potato, yukon more ex than desire...

choose only one type..choose about 4 or 5 good size ones with no shoots forming in the eyes...those are dead old ones which should ve been discarded.

homegrown rosemary a few sprigs - cut into fine chips
few pcs small butter blocks unsalted
a packet of ham chips - cheap or
minced beef - this one better - more power
creamy mayonaisse - 1 small bottle
red wine - i once used CAMUS FINE WINE....ABOUT $120/BTL OF 75CL
pinch of salt
organic soya sauce....(suppose to using it for nephew's food but he dosen't like...damn super EX a small bottle>$20)
parsley flakes from MASTER'S
virgin olive oil
sesame oil
black pepper
cumins
cinnamomum powder
finely chopped garlic about 1 tablespoon
parmesan cheese - to put in only after everything cooked and ready to serve.

method:

wash potatoes with veggie soap solution and brush skin clean from soil
add 1 or 2 tablespoon virgin olive oil into AMC pot (about>2k per set) or other stainless steel pot....
throw in finely cut up rosemary leaves, parsley flakes, 2 to 3 pcs small butter blocks.
pour in about 50 cc red wine. sprinkle a pinch of salt.
pour in about 4 tablespoon sesame oil, a few spray of organic soya sauce, few generous dash of black pepper and minced garlic.
stir with spoon and mix thoroughly and let it sit for a while...like maybe 5 minutes...
on stove to large fire. place the AMC pot over it. observed the needle. when needle hits 1 mark, open lid and stir and toss the potatoes. cover and continue heating. tone down flame to low.
when needle hits another mark, open and stir again. cover and stir again on the next mark.
continue repeating this every mark the needle hits. test the texture of potato. if cooked should be soft to bite.
when reach this stage, throw in the mayonaisse. stir through thoroughly...and let it continue to cook.
when potatoes soften, off flame and add in parmesan cheese either the grated one or powdered one. i prefer the last one....and hit one more round for about 5 minutes. so that parmesan cheese powder forms a crispy crust over the potatoes.
off flame. ready to serve.
unfinished potatoes can be kept in tupperware and put into fridge. taste better when cold.
happy cooking. healthy, good...and definitely POWER TO THE JOHN!!!

share ur testimonies after eating.....POWER TO THE JOHN!!

From: leetahsar 13-Mar 23:15
To: leetahsar 1499 of 1528

83628.1499 in reply to 83628.1498

sorry...i read the method...i also sian..

let me redo it in a simple way:

choose only one type..choose about 4 or 5 good size ones with no shoots forming in the eyes...those are dead old ones which should ve been discarded.

homegrown rosemary a few sprigs - cut into fine chips
few pcs small butter blocks unsalted
a packet of ham chips - cheap or
minced beef - this one better - more power
creamy mayonaisse - 1 small bottle
red wine - i once used CAMUS FINE WINE....ABOUT $120/BTL OF 75CL
pinch of salt
organic soya sauce....(suppose to using it for nephew's food but he dosen't like...damn super EX a small bottle>$20)
parsley flakes from MASTER'S
virgin olive oil
sesame oil
black pepper
cumins
cinnamomum powder
finely chopped garlic about 1 tablespoon
parmesan cheese - to put in only after everything cooked and ready to serve.

THROW EVERYTHING INTO THE POT AND STIR....heat up stir regular about 5 minutes so that top and bottom potatoes get evenly cooked...

there simple enough hor?...:9)

....and remember to share testimony after u consume my power to the john potato salad....

wankers can also tell us how long they can really last too....

no joke....rosemary is very aprodasiac....it stimulate ur blain juices ...and if u got kids studying for exams, hor...feed them with this in ur spaggi...not only power the johns...power the blain too....

senior citizens who take this culinary herbs often will be saved from senilis dementia...or senile old fuck syndrome.

what people are wearing inside....

inside what people waiting for bus wear...

check ur cursor on the people waiting for buses on this site:

POWER TO THE JOHN! POWER POTATO SALAD...con'td
says:

TEE TOO SI you want

says:

KNN

says:

but we link up for kopi at prata cafe at 10p

says:

thot he will bring you along

says:

ya.. i heard your birthday you belanga..

says:

thot shld be vice versa

says:

hehew

Bob says:

tot u all going SAKURA OR WHAT

Bob says:

how cum u choop my icons huh

Bob says:

cos...he told me he was getting me a diabetic cake....so i belanja lor...and do u know what they got me...both hus and wife

says:

wat

says:

spit it oujt

Bob says:

a lame handshake each

Bob says:

should ve grab and jacket jes...then give kel a deep frenchie...

says:

serious... nothing for you

Bob says:

...what u expect....a threesome with him n wifey is it..........mati...my blain is corrupted by teetu juices now....jialat...must do power cleansing chant after this...

says:

so das ne

says:

then you never even invite me ASSHOLE

says:

if you did, at least you would have received something fro me

Bob says:

that time hor...u weren't in the pic yet hor...i din even no u

Bob says:

somehting what...frenchie huh

Bob says:

before that i kena 4d...invited him and jes for baba food..ended up... jenny, kenny and roger came..but he and w...can't cos son admited suddenly to hsp.

Bob says:

then...on my birthday i belanja them ...cos kena 4d mah...pai seh...

says:

wat a joke!

Bob says:

u wanna another one lagi funny..and real one

Bob says:

kel never belanja people one if u observe...so got one time he belanja me...and i used the receipt to buy 4d...and kena

Bob says:

then i told him only kena 65 so can only belanja him alone back...

says:

who say... true

says:

maybe he never belanga you only

says:

whawahawahawaaahaw

Bob says:

i ended belanja his whole tribe to jacks place at west coast...and paid like>150.....really blurred u know...and broke...instead of richer by 65...u see how keng this guy is...

Bob says:

luckily his mum who was there pai seh..and paid me some $$ back...u know where was there or not

says:

???

Bob says:

kel, his ex jocelyn, kenny n his gf and jenny and me...mati man...i saw this whole group of people...i said to myself..kena tekan pain pain liao...jacks u know..not ur kopi tiam western leh...

says:

can never stop laughing with you

says:

jocelyn i never see before

says:

jude>

says:

like mine

Bob says:

and the other day...i sense he got prob with wife...so i sacrifice my trading day to be free filipino for him...ended up...no money to make and some more pay for his pork floss breadtalk bread...knn...$1.40 eac...fucking EX....and then go buy CAMBRIDGE sandal ea is 3.90....3x is 9.90...of course i grabbed 3 lah...one for me...one for kel...and 1 for kenny...ended up...he din even pay for his bread

Bob says:

and i bought like....>$5 breadtalk bread....cos then can get discount voucher....shit just for that day alone...hor...i like spent almost $50 already...

says:

well done

Bob says:

cos....i bought 4d...and nearly kena....7579...it came out 2579...bei tahan

Bob says:

not well done...well roasted me...always the case when i go out with him....sure come back broke one...

Bob says:

this is the one time when u work...FOR FREE AND COME HOME BROKE....

says:

hahahahaha!

says:

then next time just ask for ediu well

says:

done or roasted

Bob says:

but i hinted to him...I ONLY ALLOW PEOPLE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME...IF I WANT TO...so i hope he gets the meaning....always remind him to treat people who he thinks as friend and never exploit them...and shit...i ended up protecting delta...and ended up paying>$80 for red star timsum with him and wif and delta...cos del wanted to pay...i stopped him..i paid instead...shit...

Bob says:

and both the wifey...just play mat bodoh...very clever to play blur one this girl...rich like anything...but very stingy type

says:

sigh...

says:


bob... kuah kar kwee

says:


life is short... play hard ...

says:


and trade harder

says:


to support the play

says:


ha

Bob says:

never mind...if i can enlighten him...it's worth all my money....and anyway..about 3 yrs ago...my affinity with them was like ended...

says:


huh

says:


is it

says:


wat happen

says:


you mean this is a rekindle love?

Bob says:

it was only recently...i sensed he got prob...that i appear to him again...if he dun treasure my presence so be it...OFF I GO AGAIN....back to the mountain....

says:


he got problems all his life time la

says:


just recently

Bob says:

all becos of how his tribe treated this indo gf of kenny very badly...and this indo gf...during cny came to his shop and cooked sharkfin for his tribe..should ve given them shark shits

Bob says:

and now...this indo gf like fallen for me...she's comingback for me omg...teetu not enough and now this...headache u know...luckily i very eng...if not sure go crazy...

Bob says:

maybe hor...say maybe only lah...pass her to u...want...very good girl..enterprising...open up a 3 storey salon in jakarta..and planning another branch..kenny was a big fool to let this treasure slipped by by treating her damn damn bad...hantam her...u know..bad bad boy

Bob says:

read my blog...it's all inside...all these crazy stories...all inside...

Bob says:

http://upheavalofleetahsar.blogspot.com

Bob says:

if busy...pls concentrate ur work..jus let me know...i will gladly F off....mkt is damn damn quiet even though wall st is up>100pts....damn sian this bloody hell mkt...tot got money to make...monday always like that one...

says:


really

Bob says:

really to which msg

Bob says:

keny gf...monday blue mkt..or what

says:


ind being friend if you intro... but to be my girl.. think i a oredi than contented with y current one

says:


kenny indo girl

says:


as the saying goes.. everything starts fro friend

says:


whaa

Bob says:

u want see her pic...dun orgasmic...i send now...

says:


who knows wat the future lies beneath

Bob sends:



says:


can fight ine

Bob says:

there...

says:


you havent asnwer eaerlier jocelyn can fight mine

Bob says:

chio bo

says:


transfering



Transfer of ........ is complete.



Bob says:

ur mei mei is pretty...but can she relate things or not...just like jes..do u think she's pretty....

Bob says:

me think she's plasticky...and like know..like dunno ...damn boring leh with her around...cannot talk too dirty right...

Bob says:

and kelvin...like got his balls crushed by her...cannot siao too....so kelvin too becum boring

says:


nnnn... first of all

says:


tks for your complient for my girl

says:


next, choobeebee los so chow lao to e

says:


certainly my cup of tea

says:


friends can la

Bob says:

that nite......me tot she was from matland...i kept blurting cheena mei mei....hope she din understand hor...

Bob says:

she's 28 or 9...

says:


thirdly, your opinions on jes... i a feeling mutual too

Bob says:

good what...get one old jie jie...look after u better than u look after her right

says:


the los can make it

says:


maybe for kenny can

Bob says:

i kinda feeling....kel made the wrong choice....that day in lorry...his wife called...were laughing siao like that...after the call...gloom and doom liao...

says:


of course he made an utterly wrong chioice

says:


when you coe undone

Bob says:

and shit...i think i was the one who encourage him to marry her...cos he was then telling me how good and good she was...so i told him marry her lor...and shit...he really went marry her....

says:


duran duran

says:


w

Bob says:

but then again...i dun think any girl with kel will feel secure...he's such fleas infested bloodhound...damn itchy...u met his teetujia or not...very chio u know...low cut hipster without undies one

says:


name>

Bob says:

who name...

Bob says:

teetujia...teetu...

says:


i never see befopre

says:


joceyln too

Bob says:

u see her...in kel friendster...the side profile of her...

Bob says:

joceyln in fact recomended me a project when she was working in the sp poly guild...at dover...and the bloody kelvin keeping asking me for the credits...and finally i told joc...and she fucked him like anything...they already broken off....

Bob says:

long before that...

Bob says:

and kelv was already married to the current one...

Bob says:

so u see how can u compare urself to kel...he's many times kang ...but fundamentally he's a good at heart...if jes keeps pressuring him hor...he might turn to the 'darkside' and everyone's going to die pain pain..starting with me first...

says:


correction.. i didn't say we are similar as in kang.... he lao kang.. i dip kang... i a saying we are similar in characters of our happy go lucky character

says:


i think we are all unique individuals in the group

Bob says:

good....his kang and horny...u i dunno the kang part...but horny...that one CONFIRMED

says:


i a kang but also bo kang

says:


depending on my mood

says:


horny is in the name of any god damn MEN

says:


Ah me so horny.. ah ah me so horny...

says:


wahawaha

Bob says:

...i kept my juices above neck not in my dickhead....a moment of lust and pleasure can result in a life time of suffering...pls do be very careful where u fire ur sperms missiles...one miss and it's game over for u

says:


i will not follow kel footstep

says:


live exaple for se to see... i not stupid

says:


and you stupid 2

says:


ah

Bob says:


...a blind anyhow firing dick...following another wild bliind dick... chui guo chui guo.......

says:


amitahba

says:


aen

says:


KNN ... singtel wat price now

says:


pls check

Bob says:

ur boss behind u....

says:


BYOB

Bob says:

269

says:


SOHC

says:


Bob says:

dunno what talk u

says:


the horse face

says:


no how to make his singtel rocket up $3

says:


CCB

says:


then i can fulfil y dreams

Bob says:

and ccb to u....mine is not the ccb most people ccb in and out...mine means...CIAO, CHEERIO ....BYE

Bob says:

better than ur standard...ccb...

says:


I CCB THAT HORSE FACE

Bob says:

u gay huh

says:


negative

Bob says:

that's a horse u know...u in beastility...

says:


but regretted watching brokeback mountain

says:


freaking gay show

Bob says:

what...touching what...

says:


cocks and cocks.. nothing but more cocks

says:


touch your own cock

says:


more touching

says:


and tentalising

Bob says:

but dun watch already start falling in love with me...hor...me monk wannabe ..golden virge in 24K mint condition....

Bob says:

alamak..u like local boy haven't drink salt water...and claim u were in oz...got bedek one or not

says:


are you going to keep your virginity till .....

Bob says:

next life......:)

cont'd...the complimentary msn...:

says:

or else my chef cant cook for nuts

says:

and my cafe will close down in no time

Bob says:

how much huh u pay me....not another free filipino maid hor

says:

by performance base

says:

the number of plates you sell... the more you make

Bob says:

hello..teetu pink money easy to make than any u know...cos teetus damn willing to pay and love getting eletrocuted by my electric gazing eyes....aunties killer dun pray pray

Bob says:

wow..u sibei keng hor...but still better than kel free and must come out money some more...

From: ilovesg 16:23
To: leetahsar 1461 of 1498

83628.1461 in reply to 83628.1460

Wow if such salad is able to make all guys' JOHN powerful . you would be a rich guy where this joint only frequented by MEN of ALL AGES . Women would like men to last as long as possible and thats a fact.

TESTIMONY OF ONE JOKER WHO ATE MY POWER TO THE JOHN POTATO SALAD:
\From: ilovesg 15:44
To: leetahsar 1458 of 1498

83628.1458 in reply to 83628.1441

Oh man such a group sounds pretty fun. but the name is not reallythat good. Anyway congrats on being conferred the presidency of ths FOSC but of course you must blanjah them alot for having such a prestigious post. lol. cheers

MY REPLY TO HIM:
From: ilovesg 15:44
To: leetahsar 1458 of 1498

83628.1458 in reply to 83628.1441

Oh man such a group sounds pretty fun. but the name is not reallythat good. Anyway congrats on being conferred the presidency of ths FOSC but of course you must blanjah them alot for having such a prestigious post. lol. cheers

oh yes...just belanja them my new invention of potato salad using my homegrown power rosemary...after eating hor...power to the john!!

and one of them just testified to me he powered his gf and made her moaned the whole nite...he wants some more this weekend for him and gf...and he also can moan jus as loud...hahahaha...;9)

Bob says:

rosemary...the fresh one i grow myself...very very aprodisaic

says:


i was indeed horny

says:


had the bull run all night long

says:


CUNT HOLE

says:


and HOLE IN ONE

Bob says:

like real...

says:


NO SPACE FOR TWO

Bob says:

huh...3some

says:


hey when can y girl try your potato salad you ade for e yesterday and also when can both of us try your spagghetti

says:


can i eploy you to be y chef when i open up a cafe>

says:


but no teetu hanging in y cafe

MY POWER DEADLY POTATO SALAD....
RECIPE:
branded potato...not local one very greenish smell local ones.
a bag of either RUSSETT, burbanks, bastagi, desiree - ex pink type or the super ex purplish potato, yukon more ex than desire...

choose only one type..choose about 4 or 5 good size ones with no shoots forming in the eyes...those are dead old ones which should ve been discarded.

homegrown rosemary a few sprigs - cut into fine chips
few pcs small butter blocks unsalted
a packet of ham chips - cheap or
minced beef - this one better - more power
creamy mayonaisse - 1 small bottle
red wine - i once used CAMUS FINE WINE....ABOUT $120/BTL OF 75CL
pinch of salt
organic soya sauce....(suppose to using it for nephew's food but he dosen't like...damn super EX a small bottle>$20)
parsley flakes from MASTER'S
virgin olive oil
sesame oil
black pepper
cumins
cinnamomum powder
finely chopped garlic about 1 tablespoon
parmesan cheese - to put in only after everything cooked and ready to serve.

method:
wash potatoes with veggie soap solution and brush skin clean from soil
add 1 or 2 tablespoon virgin olive oil into AMC pot (about>2k per set) or other stainless steel pot....
throw in finely cut up rosemary leaves, parsley flakes, 2 to 3 pcs small butter blocks.
pour in about 50 cc red wine. sprinkle a pinch of salt.
pour in about 4 tablespoon sesame oil, a few spray of organic soya sauce, few generous dash of black pepper and mincedd garlic.
stir with spoon and mix thoroughly and let it sit for a while...like maybe 5 minutes...
on stove to large fire. place the AMC pot over it. observed the needle. when needle hits 1 mark, open lid and stir and toss the potatoes. cover and continue heating. tone down flame to low.
when needle hits another mark, open and stir again. cover and stir again on the next mark.
continue repeating this every mark the needle hits. test the texture of potato. if cooked should be soft to bite.
when reach this stage, throw in the mayonaisse. stir through thoroughly...and let it continue to cook.
when potatoes soften, off flame and add in parmesan cheese either the grated one or powdered one. i prefer the last one....and hit one more round for about 5 minutes. so that parmesan cheese powder forms a crispy crust over the potatoes.
off flame. ready to serve.
unfinished porting can be kept in tupperware and put into fridge. taste better when cold.
happy cooking. healthy, good...and definitely POWER TO THE JOHN!!!

MY WEIRD FT TENANT....the real person he is.....???

yesterday nite was out with the gang of godsons, surprisingly sibeipine joined us. this joker is a loner. he can only entertain very close pals like maybe 1 to 3 only...the rest of the godsons were totally of no interest to him.

i was talking with him and a fella pal whom he introduced to me. were laughing, drinking and talking all kinds of topics under the sky.

suddenly sibeikang, his elder brother called. and me the big goon asked him to come newton hc to join us.

and he came. not alone but along with wifey chinjiagong and the whole gang of godsons......when sibeipine saw them, he turned gloomy and doomy....and stopped talking...just drank his bottles of beer after big bottles....

finally almost 2.30am, board meeting over. we dispersed.

i was worried for sibeipine...and told beikang to drive him home....chinjiagong could drive his mini austin back on her own...beipine rejected and insisted on driving on his own back...so be it...

another godson drove me home. upon reaching home, the phone rang. it was sibeipine. he was down....he was sad...he was crying....MY GOD!!

and he started pouring out his troubled soul onto me...halfway through, the weird FT IT tenant came out from his room. threw me a slip which said: CAN U PLS BE QUIET, I NEED TO SLEEP! THANK YOU!

Then returned to his room and slammed the door behind him. i was blurred...now what was wrong with this joker?....another "troubled" soul?

on the other hand, i couldn't forsake sibeipine who was so sad over gfs matters....he got 2 and looked like it was a deja vu. both decided to leave him for good. he sad :(

he was now quite hooleey mooleey...so i switched from monk wannabe to bloody pastor wannabe...and spoke to him about the love of CHRIST...and without knowing it, i was soon teaching him to pray to our holy father....

MY HOLY FATHER IN HEAVEN...PLS GUIDE THIS TROUBLE SOUL...PLS GIVE ME PEACE AND REST SO THAT MY TURMOILED HEART COULD FEEL UR PEACE AND LOVE.....I PRAY NOW IN THE NAME OF THE HOLY SPIRIT AND OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST....AMEN....

and he was touched to tears. he told me he instantly felt much better...

suddenly the weird FT IT tenant's door swung open again. he walked out of his room in a huff and puff. went straight to the main door...opened and slamming it behind him!

it startled me. i was blur. what's gotten into this young chap?? like kena raped like that! i was holding a cordless phone so i went outside, looked down from my unit to see where he was going at this hour...almost 3.30am now...

he went to the shelter below and gong gong sat there. me....i BLUR...I LEDI BLUR!!!

after his loud slamming which awoke lauhankoo next door. he came over...and without 3 by 7 = 21, started blasting his stereo at me...now me really BLURR!! and over the phone, sibeipine heard the screaming from lauhan...and he apologised to ve gotten me into trouble and hang up....

now i was alone in the house...BLUR LIKE A SOTONG...WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ALL THESE PEOPLE THIS MORNING???

all like eaten some kind of explosive TNT like that...and i realised the ft it tenant had behind my back tekan me....he must ve complained to lauhankoo about me...about what? i was still BLURR!

and to think i bought instant coffee, eggs, instant noodles of many flavour, fruits and sugarfree fruit juices - which he was about to finish the second packet of BIG PRAWN INSTANT NOODLE soon...why was he behaving thus???

i can only deduce. when u treated people nice; doesn't mean he would reciprocrate a good deed. instead he arrowed me from behind knowing lauhankoo treats him like god cos of his rental....

i just treated him to timsum not long ago when i kena lottery...and now he was biting back at the hands that fed him....sad...:(

I AM REALLY REALLY BLUR....HOW HUH??

i went back to embrace the compassion within my heart...and come to be enlightened that....NEVER MIND...HE'S TROUBLED...SO LET IT BE...IT'S OK...HE TOOK OUT HIS FRUSTRATION AND ANGUISH ON ME..IT'S OK.....i understand...and i chanted him a silent prayer for peace of mind....ornitoufo to him.......;9)

and also a big ornitoufo to sibeipine...and one to sibeikang...both thesr brothers like got clouds hanging over their foreheads....everyone's got problem except this goon...whose problems are their problems...haizz!

and paiseh...striked lottery again...7952.....which can out 3x liao...2795 - lst prize last sunday. 7952 consolation on last wed....and again 7952 yesterday....pai seh...this month allowances ...er...NO PROBLEM LIAO....hahahahah...;9)

ME AND MY PAST WEIRD PETS....

oh if i tell u about my past pets ur jaws will drop....i got pyschic link with them...

i got a baby praying mantis which i adopted and kept it to roam freely among my shui mei. and the funny part i trained it how to attack or catch preys...

i fed it well with dug out food debris among my teeth...u know char siew, chicken scraps that were lodged in between and dug out by toothpick.....and i fed it to my cute little bb mantis.

it even grew up to be a very pretty girl mantis...i know cos me an horticulturist....and for the last time...i patted my mantis...yes...i patted her. she was such a good girl but she needed to find a mate....and so she waved goodbye at me...and off she flew....

next my cute cute puffer fish which i found in the lift landing....there was three in a small plastic cup of water. so i adopted them.

in the end, left one...the strongest one ate up the other 2...no joke...and i started training it too.

again with my sliver of dug out food from my teeth on a toothpick. i held it above the water. my puffer would surface, gorged up his tummy and started squirting stream of water to hit the sliver of food on toothpick.

food fell and puffer supped it. as i got many potted plants, i bred a special pot of small spiral snails and fed that to puffer.

she loved it and would use her strong beaked mouth to crash the snail, eating the soft morsels and expelling the crushed shells through its gill.

very interesting to watch. u can hear the crunching sound even....but in the end, puffer was brutally murdered by lauhankoo...who fed it with big piece of cooked shrimp. the shrimp is adulterated with oil from mum's cooking...and the next day, my puffer was floating tummy up.....DEAD!!.;(

then...there were my cute cute spider training program...and all weird things i trained my pets like stick insects, dragonfly, beetles, dogs, ducks, chicken , rooster, guinea pigs, hamster, rabbits, grass snake, bb cobra,...etc...u name it most like i had and trained them before...

currently training my 4 yrs old nephew...to be a trick ah boy...intend to bring him for 7th mth ge tai...then i will be FATT KA BEH JIN CHU......hahahaha....;9)

if u like my weird and uncanny pets that i used to have and trained....buy tickets now....;9)

From: BabaEro11 18:39
To: leetahsar 1379 of 1389

83628.1379 in reply to 83628.1378

you left out the interesting part of ruan mian mian with you together under the thunderstorm. what both of you did?

From: leetahsar 19:18
To: BabaEro11 unread 1380 of 1389

83628.1380 in reply to 83628.1379

that pare, is the beauty of my creativity...to get u involved...that would be ur say now...ur story and the homework to hand in to me....ok...

u hantam lah...anything can happen what...once black out in stormy thundery night....hahahahaha ';9)

From: aussiebiz 19:30
To: leetahsar 1381 of 1389

83628.1381 in reply to 83628.1380

Eh brother I suggest you publish the stories in this thread. I started your Cambodian story this morning. Haven't continue reading yet. Maybe later tonight if. Looks like hellava long story.

From: leetahsar 19:46
To: aussiebiz unread 1382 of 1389

83628.1382 in reply to 83628.1381

u really think my stories are zany and interesting?

how to publish? me retire...and totally no income...what if i use my money and then can't even sell a copy...i die pain pain u know....:(

i wait for some destined guy out there who's engrossed captivated by it lor...if not...so be it...and let it be...

it wasn't my intention to publicise or expect even people to read it...i just write for the passion of writing and sharing my cartoonic life stories...hahahaha....;9)

the last part of the thundery night....not true ok...added ingredients...yes raining...but no...NO RUAN MIAN MIAN..OK...I LEAVE THAT TO UR OWN IMAGINATION...u r welcome to write out that part for me...;9)

me still a golden virge in mint condition. as for the whatever meis hor...jus some jokers adding into the fun.....but none from my camp...checked already....

From: ¼ÍÏþá° (jixiaolan) 20:12
To: leetahsar 1383 of 1389

83628.1383 in reply to 83628.1382

"me retire...and totally no income"

yr rental n indian chief's coffee moni leh? If u realli need more moni for publication, maybe u k ask "aussiebiz" for few hundred thousands loan. Interest free, u know!

From: leetahsar 20:17
To: ¼ÍÏþá° (jixiaolan) 1384 of 1389

83628.1384 in reply to 83628.1383

then he publishes lor...and be my fairy godfather...and u can be his elf....:9)

From: leetahsar 20:21
To: ¼ÍÏþá° (jixiaolan) 1385 of 1389

83628.1385 in reply to 83628.1383

the rental hor...lauhankoo sup to sperm missile cheena spider spirits...in fact now with tenant hor..i got to pay extra PUB, buy more eggs, coffee and of course instant noodles for the poor kena sacked tenant....and all these out of my own pocket hor...so what do i benefit? NOTHING.

as for the kopi money from the indian chief...u already answered ur own question...INDIAN CHIEF...sometime happy pay...most of the time unhappy, no need to pay...then how?

His parang is bigger than my club scot knife.....:(

{yr rental n indian chief's coffee moni leh?}

STORMY AND THUNDERY NIGHT......cont'd cambodia travelogue

everyone was deadbeat on reaching home the bungalow. no shopping today so nothing for ruan mian mian who was eagerly trying to unpack and take some from me....and our hands met again accidentally .....

WHERE DO I BEGIN...TO TELL THE STORY OF HOW GREAT A LOVE CAN BE.....i tot i just heard andy williams singing LOVE STORY.....hahhahaha....;9)

tonight we ate in cos everyone dead tired. ruan mian mian did all the cooking. we had deep fried chicken seasoned in cambodian herbal style. DAMN GOOD, u know! then a simple beansprout stirred fried with salted fish and some dunno what funny insects inside. i was told those black speckles were actually some kind of ants. wow! the soup was solid. old cucumber soup to cool of the "heat" we had or we just seen this afternoon....

i tot that was about it...but no....next on the menu was bullfrogs legs fried in ginger, shallot and onions with cambodian wine. turtle + century + chicken + chopped up quail eggs fried with dunno what local veggies. finally a simple kailan flowers in fish and oyster sauce. and a roasted giant field rat...that we skipped.

actually very shiok and bountiful hor our 'simple' dinner. then out of no where, ruan mian mian brought in the homebrew wine....guess what she soaked it with? field rats, grass snakes, centipede and cobra...and i dun want to know anymore what else inside her gory brew.....

....spiders - tarantula, scorpions, and funny fungus like weird shaped lingzhi...etc....*yucks!* all mangled up in home made rice wine.

she said she had kept the whole big urn of wine for special occasion like now. we were returning to HK the next day...and she just had to let us taste it before we leaved...i got a feeling she just wanted me to taste it before i go....cos she dunno when i would be back or when would she be able to see me again...and me...blur blur obliged her by sipping her formidable charpalang brew.....BROOM...OOOM...BROOM...the thunder sounded...FLASH...FLASH....the lightning was threatening the dark night sky.

soon the rains came....so refreshing! it was rather a hot and humid day we were having. this rain just couldn't come in a more timely way....

so here we were the whole bunch of us. we ate. we drank. i drank. she drank. she drank...i drank...and soon...all black off.....

and please....i really din know what happen next...cos the next morning, when we awoke, we were quite groggy...and funny hor...i felt...like dunno what happen last night...

ruan mian mian was especially bashful when she saw me. she handed me my packed luggage and then buzzed off immediately to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. i was like blurred leh.......

after our breakfast, time to say goodbye to thomas and michael who remained as they had their works there to be done.

after handshaking ah chew for his wonderful driving us around and especially he also brought us to a gambling ship by MEKONG RIVER* called NAGA...and let this goon here won like a few hundred bucks in the JACKPOT machines and in US$ some more...i slipped a red packet ang pow for him. he was so happy and shake both my hands profusely...thanking me...like got tears in his eyes too....

next was ruan mian mian's turn. i too slipped an ang pow into her hand while shaking. oh gosh! like felt electricity going through me ....why huh??? was that static i just felt from shaking her hands? dunno...never bother to find out...

ruan mian mian's eyes were already well up in tears...i dunno why?? so...what to do, gave her my leetahsar's bearhug lor...and patted her back...and that was all i remembered i did.....

chew drove us to the rundown national airport...and soon we were on our way back to HK.......

...to be cont'd???

*MEKONG RIVER JOINS 4 NATIONS: CHINA, CAMBODIA, VIETNAM AND THAILAND.....the tourist guide told me while in SIAM REAP.

THE RESTAURANT BY THE RIVER MEKONG......

we were stuffing food into our mouths but our eyes were not on the food. our eyes were fixated on the next table where the gang of soldiers were drinking and feasting on *YUCKS* deep fried locusts, crickets, worms...and the likes...*eee!*

as they were feasting with one hand holding chopsticks, their the other hands were also holding some other things....the bums or the nehs nehs of those chiobus waitressess.

chew told us they were not really waitresses. they were chickens...u know the chick spirits... ok lah! WHORES!

then suddenly there was yelling from one of the guy. looked like he was the chiefy. he stood up and smacked a girl throwing her onto the ground. now our mouths were really wide open ...and the food was not inside but dropping all over the table from our chopsticks.....hahahaha...;9)

funny hor? the fallen chick spirit din cry. instead she slowly crawled up...and omg! one hand caressed the soldier chief's chest and the other rubbing his groin....that stimulated this son of a bitch ( anyone who hits woman qualifies as one), he in one swop carried her up and threw her onto the bed next to the big wooden round table.

next he started stripping the chick and the chick was also busy removing his buttons and pant zipper...and in a matter of seconds, it was a live floor XXX show.

the other soldiers just cheered on. they also went into action and each had a couple of girls to sit on their laps...and they were doing the upward thrusting...my god! it was an orgy here infront of us...and rainbow's boys were below 18....real RA XXX.....

they clapped. they yelled....some of the girls on the soldiers' laps were groaning and moaning in ecstasy. they helped lowered down the translucent white mozzie netting beneath where their chief was gaily humping away the screaming chick. both were in full monty now...and my god! he really humped in different styles some more.

we looked at each other...shocked at what to do. and what could we do? they were the soldiers and now they were the rapists....what to do, went back makan lor. ah chew was glued on instead. skinny as his frame could be, his bloodhound was activated. and gosh! the huge hard size now didn't tally with his skinny small frame...hahahaha...;9)

soon about 10 minutes later, everything end in loud orgasmic moan and groan....the pair of actors wipe themselves clean conveniently with a box of tissue next to the bed. dressed up, they were out of their love nest and back to the big round wooden table drinking their alcohol like as though nothing just happened...like that also can huh?

they continued their merrymaking...drinking, laughing smooching and rubbing each other...then hell! 2 soldier boys grapped each a chicks and jumped onto the bed...and the action repeats in a foursome now....oh my god!!!

we had our fill and sort of got tired with the impromptu floor show...like after one couple finished, the next took over. but funny they only did all this on their side of bed while the one next to us was left untouched...

we were now having desserts and admiring the beautiful water scenery of MEKONG RIVER. Slowly from afar of the horizontal approached a fast buzzling speedboat towards us.

we didn't know what the hell was it....what if it was a torpedo? then how huh? sure die and bombed into smitterens!

before we could said HALLELUJAH! or ORNITOUFO~~, the speedboat berthed alongside a wooden stairscase leading downwards to the water...

"speedboat...speedboat?....US 5 DOLLARS only..." asked the boatman, a scrawny dark guy.

oh, yes,...why not...so off i jumped into the boat after paying my fare. AND HELL!! ready the thrill of my life...the wind shooshing against my face pressing my flesh very tightly....and my specs pressing against my nose bone.....

it was an eye opener for everyone of us. the jacking, the humping and smacking of whores by the soldiers who were suppose to be protector of the civilians....sad....;9)

....to be cont'd