THIS MORNING I TOUCHED MY FT IT TENANT UNTIL HE CRIED....

THIS MORNING I TOUCHED MY FT IT TENANT UNTIL HE CRIED....

oh shit! what the hell are going into all ur blains!!??

i touched him through my words not my octopus tentacles! when i typed out that title above, suddenly i sensed ...HELL! I GIVING THE WRONG IMPRESSION ABOUT MYSELF AGAIN....JIALAT!!

was up at about 6am this morning. couldn't sleep. was sweating like mad. even the pillow was dripping with sweat(exaggerate a bit)...my wall fan was full blast but it was really freaking fucking hot!!!...;9(

so was up already ...couldn't sleep any more. watch cartoon on channel 8.

6.30a.m. 'it's A SMALL SMALL WORLD...DA..DDA...DA..DADA..." went my weird FT IT's alarm clock.....no response after he banged the clock and cut off the musical alarm.

door still din open. must be sleeping again. i beckon to mamalee...hand signing her whether to go bang the door to wake him up. mamalee shook her head and gave a "DUN FUCK CARE" him signal...so i dun care lor and proceed to read today's shittytimes...

CLICK! the door knob twisted and the door opened....blur blur the tenant walked out...goodness! morning erection u know!....the way he walked like his "extra leg" was in the way of his normal legs or what...

he went to the toilet...here is a catch....get this all horny guys who anyhow pee during morning erection...

my weird tenant put down the toilet seat, sat on it petitely and pee...no wonder there was always no trace of stray urine spray when he went to the toilet in the morning.....so that was how he did it...by sitting and pee during morning erection...cleber hor this boy!

while he was brushing, i couldn't stand it any longer....i blurted out to him. "ah boy, do u know why that day i scolded and fucked u like anything?" i started....

"mmmph nmmph!" he mumbled with his mouth full of colgate lather and turned to glance at me in the hall.

"the silly lauhankoo early in the morning without even washing up, went to ur room, took the stupid broken swivel chair and repaired it..." i narrated the whole story, Then i was on the internet writing my bo liao threads....and he came to irritate me asking me to repair for him...of course i fuck care him right?"

"nmmph....!" he was washing his face with facial foam now.

I continued, "so he bei soong(unhappy) and started stereo me...of course i blast back my lagi(even) louder woofer stereo at him.....i clenched my fist....and he scare...he char bok next door...only to go irritate mamalee..."

"oh is it?!!" ah boy was suddenly enlightened.

"Ya, i heard mama lee screaming at him and asked him to go to hell...she couldn't bend on her knees.... how to help him...GO TO HELL U FUCKING IDIOT!@#5&*$!!...." i told that was what i thought i heard all the super foul words coming out from mamalee...gave me a shock!

"so u see the bloody lauhankoo can drive both of us up the wall!" i continued. "then i sms u...and instead of saying a simple THANK U...u gave me all the craps...and i snapped! so that's why my offensive 'fuck u ungrateful fuck'...so if u were hurt...i apologise now..."

ah boy was eyes reddened liao...he choked on emotion...he couldn't utter a word..."me also sorry for my rudeness....sorry..." his voice shaky and like close to tears...

"U see boy....all the troubles and unpleasantries and unhappiness that are happening in these 2 pigeonholes are always caused and started by the bloody bo liao lauhankoo father of me...he such a fucking jerk!"

i looked at him...aiyah! might as well touched him until he released - tears not ur sperm missiles...sheesh!

"u see ah boy, old man only interested in ur $300 rent...not in u...u pay him the money, u r god to him...." i explained, "mamalee and i treat u nice cos we treat u like a guest and pal and someone's precious son from a distant land...we din benefit a bit from the rental...u see all those noodles, coffees, fruits...everything...i bought one...not the bloody lau han...the money u gave, he goes spiders hunting...u know hor..."

this was the last straw....he was too touched...he cried...i touched him until he cried...steady poon pee pee hor this supposed to be bloody pastor....power man!...power man, man!

and a final blow..."why u so cartoon and complain to lauhankoo about why i scolded u....if u calmed urself, u should know that lauhan is the cause of all the evils here..."

after sayng this, all was forgiven..and hopefully forgotten...i made the espresso italian coffee my italian gf monica sent me...shit expiring soon - better use more powder if not expired...all wasted..

i filtered cos got the fine insoluble beans a steamy hot cup for ah boy. as he sipped, i asked him, "so r still moving out?...cos if u do, me go get my dayak sarawak pal and his jumbo daughter to move in..."

he shook vehemently his head...and shrieked, "NO LAH!...ME STAYING PUT LAH....dun chase me out lah!...i fully understand ur predicament...only this morning..u know..." he sipped and enjoyed the strong aromatic italian espresso...and ate my breads...and boiled 2 of my eggs...and supped my kaya...and butter and EX diabetic jam..and sugar...and cream...and mati...i got to feed him all over again...l;9(

now really the end!....;9)