Sunday, April 30, 2006

19 APRIL 2006, I MADE MY HENAN GODSON HAPPIEST!!





i am so proud of myself...to be able to give some one hope and something to look forward to...

my godson from HENAN, china has finally come to peace with himself...
i think i will visit him during his summer holidays in july...
he was estatic when he got my birthday card and coincidentally on his birthday on 19 april itself...;9)

see...the way miracles work...to make someone's live...a total stranger initially to me...so so happy...and the feeling within me is happiness too...beyond description..IT'S PRICELESS!!...

HAVE U MADE SOMEONE HAPPY TODAY?...;9)

EVILS OF LAUHANKOO...my father...:(

i thought the paps are evil enough until i realised truly the real evil is like...MY BLOODY LAUHANKOO of a father.
he' back today from his usual spider hunting teetujias in HYAADAI...back less than 3 hrs and quarrelling almost close to hitting it out with me again...;9(
when he was away fucking spiders, the whole family was so peaceful and happy...the moment he's back, hell breaks loose again.....:(
a few days ago, i opened a letter addressed to him. it was payment advice for the job my brother CARROT LEE did for him...the amount was quite substantial.
a day before, carrot came to see me and told me about his current financial woes. i would love to help him. but u know all his money, his evil wifey kept...so actually wifey got all his money...and damn rich this bad bitch...so i was thinking...why should i lend him....the wife got his money what?
so i played mat bodoh lor...and i told him the job he did using the lauhankoo firm's name already got the fat cheque. carrot just sighed......so both of us understood: where hankoo wanted to return him the money...he supped every single cents to feed his teetujias tribe back in HYAADAI....damn jialat this bloody evil lauhan!!
and now...this morning he's back. i beh tahan. carrot is my only little brother...me the big brother..so i gotta to protect him...and shit!! this lau han is my father who swallows his son's hard earn sweat and blood money...to do what?....to feed the bloody teetujias in hyaadai....;9(
"lauhan, carrot's business bad this month....u got his money, can u refund whatever amount due to him.....be a bit compassionate....he's ur son...." i blur blur blurted to him straight in his face.
and the storm begins......'9(
pi li pa la...@#$%^&!!#$%^^%$....PI LI PA LA....PI LI PA LAH.....getting more intense and louder till all the neighbours or maybe even the entire block can hear.....
all the uncensored vulgarities fire away at me...i beh tahan...CAN U TAHAN OR NOT?....an unreasonable old fuck who claims to be our father...supped all the blood and sweat money from u...to do what?...FEED AND FUCK SPIDERS!!
and as the screwing, cursing...and swearing gets more heated up...he lounges at me who is resting on my IDESIRE MASSAGE CHAIR.....
he points a menancing finger at me, threatening...yes again...to hit me. mama lee is at the kitchen. she's shocked. she wobbly run out to confront lauhan and yells at him..."STOP IT!!" she yelled. "tahsar is right u know!! if u got conscience, u should return ur son's blood and sweat money...and pity carrot who works himself to skin and bones....what did u do?.....NOTHING...u only want money...and cause problems to the family...that's all u do!!!"
wah lau!! steady lah old fat girl....hankoo got a shock. since when did our old fat girl, mamalee is so bold?....he withdraws...lan lan goes into my adjacent pigeonhole...and the storm for the time being is resolved...
PEOPLE.....do u have a better lauhankoo father like mine??
can go crazy hor?....and this is just barely 3 hrs he is back from his spider hunting.....sperm missile firing hyaadai trip....
and u know something? he is wearing a pair of knee supported guards...must have had over fired all sperms missiles till wobbly weak in the knees...
tonight, the whole gang of sisters will be back for makan....and i think the whole upheaval's going to replay in enhanced mode...
luckily today, my bunch of godsons asking me to meet out at about 6pm...so HENG AH!! I won't be around to join in the "fun?"......
sad is the case of my present domestic bo liao woes...why?...i always ask myself?...why a father can be so evil and nasty towards his own flesh and blood....so merciless and vengeful towards his wife....so unconcerned towards the family?
WHY??
when he's dying...he will know why.......or when he realises why....his time would be up then....IT WOULD BE TOO LATE....for all the pains and miseries he brings to the family...
i can only ORNITOUFO TO HIM...cos'...no matter what...he's still our bo liao lanhankoo father.....;9(
i ve written in present tense...cos...there's no end to such uncalled domestic woes...and it would replay and replay...well...unless the lauhan dies cock standing from overdose of viagra in hyaadai...then...all our miseries die with him.....
ornitoufo......chui guo...chui guo to me......;9(

ANOTHER FORUMMER COMPLIMENTS ME...

From:
a_swashneker
29-Apr 13:13
To:
leetahsar
1688 of 1697

wah seh, i think u can go to the erection rally and give speech man! no joke!
L for leetahsar

From:
leetahsar
29-Apr 13:21
To:
a_swashneker
1689 of 1697

how i wish too....
i mean a goon got more compassion for all the brothers in sinkieland...the paps got and wants even more money for their pockets only..
agreed?

From:
a_swashneker
29-Apr 13:24
To:
leetahsar
1690 of 1697

83628.1690 in reply to 83628.1689
think u shld join lah.
give up oneself for the mass!


From:
leetahsar
29-Apr 13:50
To:
a_swashneker
1691 of 1697

83628.1691 in reply to 83628.1690
TOO LATE LIAO LAH!!....me monk wannabe...i got better things to enlighten ...the masses of disillusioned minds are waiting for me to clear their cobwebs...
i might robe up anytime u know....
i love to improve our beloved land...free the people so that they can breathe better, live better, sleep better...and not dropping dead at such young promising age....and everyone feels that it's better to die than to be sick...and if u get a chronic sickness like diabetes (me got), heart ailments, cancer...ur fate is sealed and doom....ER...BUT NOT ME HOR...;9)
PEOPLE HERE NOW LIVE IN APPREHENSION AND ANXIETIES AND UNDUE STRESSES....WHY?....WHY IS THIS SO?...
go to the USA...or other places less developed like CAMBODIA....i dun think what's occuring here is happening or even heard of there....
WHY AGAIN..I ASK?
but more importantly, their mind should be free first from all the cloudy illusions they are tricked into believing...
what..MORE GOOD YEARS!!, SWISS STANDARD!!...APPRECIATION OF UR PIGEONHOLE VALUES...etc.
now in walkoever queenstown, i just got the bo liao big flyers with the clown waving behind...and his lame motto...
TOGETHER, A BETTER LIFE FOR ALL....
yes...a better life for all of us...not u u idiotic peasants!!
WE R GOING TO RAISE PUBLIC TRANSPORT...OUR ALREADY OBSCENE SALARIES....ALL CONSERVATION...CIGARATTE TAX...AND EVEN THE GST TO 7 OR 8%...SO STUPID...GIVE U A MISERLY PROGESS PACKAGE...AND ALL KENA CONNED BIG TIME....THOSE ARE U MONEY MAN!!.....NOW I AM GOING TO TAKE ALL BACK...MUAHAHAHAHA.......me evil pinkier clown...not get this title for nothing hor...dun pray pray...PREPARE TO BE SCREWED FOR THE NEXT 5 YRS...AND DIE PAIN PAIN!!!....MUAHAHAHAAHAA.....;9(
VOTE THEM OUT!!!

other's father and my lauhankoo...

I just got back from a house warming of one of my member of FOSC or Full of Shitty Crap..
his father really loves him...he plans for him...his father bought him a 999 leasehold penthouse....my god!
and my own lauhankoo is always pressing me to sell my 3rms pigeonhole...so that he can have the money to rear more teetujias....:9(
i spoke to his father. he told he would be buying another for his younger son.....and after that his duties to both his sons will be done...
so touching....such concerned father for his children...
and my lauhankoo...only sup our money...to feed teetu cheena mei meis now proliferating in Hyaadai...
sad...and the teetujias there fed him with dunno what VIAGRA..and dunno what chinese john herbs...
every trip when he returns, his words will slurp....and he looks so disorientated....like under some kind of spell like that...
poor lauhankoo father of mine...when will u come to ur senses and give us the whole family peace?...dun wait until u are dead cockstanding....then u regret...cos by then it shall be too late!
ornitoufo to u....ornitoufo.....;9(

BABAREROS FROM PHILIPPINES POSTED TO ME



From:
BabaEro11
30-Apr 03:15
To:
leetahsar
1693 of 1697

Pare, in your cuntry got a Kangaroo Court call FamiLEE Court .. you can go get a Personal Protection Order against your Lauhankoo.
Oso there is another kangaroo court where your CARROT LEE can sue your lauhankoo into bankruptcy .. you know sueing for bankrupcy is a FASHION in your cuntry .... your MM, PM, SM, watever M are doing it regularly in your kangaroo Courts.

From:
leetahsar
30-Apr 12:28
To:
BabaEro11
1694 of 1697

pare...actually i m now doing something very odd and way out...
do u know there's a chinese saying...jia1 zhou3 b4u nern2 wai4 yan2...it means DON'T WASH UR FAMILY LAUNDRY IN THE PUBLIC....
i wrote now cos i want to share with everyone hear that all the guys when they become a FATHER...he might be such...or even worse...so hopefully after reading my UPHEAVALS...u guys can be mindful to others around you...especially next time ur own wife, kids...and even parents or friends....ornitoufo...
so hopefully...my private washing in public is worth the sacrifices.....
...and in the next post after this....i m deeply saddened...*sob...sob..*............;9(....read on to find out why......

MY LAUHAN IS EVILER THAN I THOUGHT....:(

this morning was up quite early....i still couldn't get over what happen last morning...barely 3 hours of my lanhankoo's return...and was already close to fighting nearly erupted....
"mum....yester nite, i wasn't in...did the old fuck create problem to u or the sisters?" i asked my mum who was croaking her usual morning karaoke practice...and recording it on tape....and playing back engrossing in her own croaking....my god!
"aiyah!...ah sar...do u know that u r now in a very perilous situation....dun disturb the bloody old fuck!!...pls sar....for ur own goodness sake!." mum stopped her croaking and was a bit exasperated when she replied.
"why...why mum?...what's wrong?" i was really curioius now.
"sar, u know hor...yesterday he said huh he wants u dead...IT'S TRUE U KNOW HOR?....not just say say only hor...." mum finally revealed. "he kept a real heavy steel rod behind his room door....and is waiting to use it ...ON YOU!!..."
NOW I AM SHOCKED!
"Yes....HE WANT'S U DEAD!!...if he can't kill you, he surely will maim u with that monster rod..." mum was now closed to tears. "pls sar, he wants to die...let him to go and die...DUN ACCOMPANY HIM TO DIE, OK!"
"mum...is he ur husband....my father?" i was deeply saddened....and almost the niagra falls breaking loose any moment ...LIKE NOW...when i m writing this....IS THIS MY OWN FLESH AND BLOOD FATHER?.....I ASKED MYSELF.....;9(
"Sar,.....dun cry lah....*sob...sob*..." instead she was already having the the jurong waterfall coming on....sad.....*sob...sob*....;9(....... "u dun have to worry...when he left for his spider hunting trip, i already quietly took the menancing rod and threw it away...i don't think he knows yet....so pls...pls for goodness sake!...next time dun bother about carrot lee and lanhan matters....both also hopeless!!"
i really really cannot understand...WHY IS ALL THIS HAPPENING?...why a father wants all his sons dead?
why?...i only asked him to payback to carrot what is due to him....IS THAT WRONG?....carrot needs to eat too...AND CARROT IS MY ONLY LITTLE BROTHER...AND THE BLOODY LAUHANKOO...IS NOT A FATHER ANY MORE...HE'S WORST THAN MY WORST ENEMY...(which by the way i dun think i ve any...)
WHY CAN THE BLOODY OLD FUCK AWAKEN?
this morning...i was observing his knee guards...oh no! it's something even more serious. both his feet are badly swollen...in such a case, it can only mean something is wrong within him....most likely his kidneys...cos' his diabetic condition is very bad...and he just came back from his sperms firing practice in hyaadai...
how can a 70+ diabetic lauhankoo sing the MARI KITA?...obviously fed himself with VIAGRA...and without a doctor's prescription...the little blue pill to a medical condition consumer can be deadly....and that explains his swollen feet condition...
WHAT AM I TO DO NOW??....AM I SUPPOSE TO SAVE HIM AGAIN?....I HAVE SAVED HIM ONCE...3 YRS BACK....when he went into hypoglaecemia...ie. low blood sugar which can cause fainting...then coma...then maybe brain death or even death...cos this is a condition when the body is sugar starved...the brain can't function without glucose...and everything in the body will shut down...
RX: make the patient a cup of sweet fluid like fruit juice, soft drink (not the sugarless type like diet coke), honey raw....or let him suck a sweet...
very dangerous this condition...
and now...hankoo has put himself in PERIL again...how..?...what?....as i was pondering whether to tell him what to do...
mamalee yelled: "ah sar!! don't teach him anything...dun even tell him...LET HIM GO AND DIE...AND U BETTER LISTEN TO ME THIS TIME!!!"
and up till now...i am still pondering....i didn't tell him...but i sang loudly a song with all the lyrics changed to hint to him...in engrish which mamalee is blurred to...
hope he got my singing message...now it's entirely up to him...to go see a doctor asap...
orntioufo....to him....my dear dear father......;9(

Monday, April 24, 2006

have a hearty laugh...

http://www.goodiebag.tv/video/do_you_take_it.htm

http://www.goodiebag.tv/video/do_you_take_it.htm

Sunday, April 16, 2006

THE STUBBORNLY IGNORANT

YESTERDAY, was nearly a disastrous day for me...and i blamed it on the day before yesterday that is friday night.

i was feeling a bit hungry. opened the fridge i search for something to nibble cos it was near to dinner time. mamalee told me there was a MAC BEEF RICE BURGER insided...oh goodie!

found it. opened half of the bun and pulled out a slice of heavily seasoned beef. threw it into my mouth...munched. mmmh! YUMMY!
took out the whole MAC pack. opened bun to warm it up...oOH

GOD!!!....what was that!!!

the bun revealed a multi-coloured bread inside...PURPLE, RED, GREEN and....:(

oh mati liao!! i had just ingested something that should be in the rubbish chute....

"Mum...how long is this MAC?" i yelled and questioned.

"Oh...ur sister brought it last saturday when they came here to makan....." my mum replied as though this consecrated MAC was as fresh as breast milk!! "Can eat lah...put inside fridge won't spoil one lah....heat it up can already lah!...."

shit!! poison taking effect...off i rushed to the toilet...and

BRACCCCCCCK...RMMP..RMMP...BRAMMMMMPP!!!

"Mum!!!" i yelled from the toilet cubicle, "U silly stupid woman!! u wanna kill me is it?!!"

"What now?" my mum calmly yelled back. "what the hell u cow peh cow bu!!?"

"the MAC is past consumable condition...u good look inside the bun...and see what colours u have inside?"

"dun eat...dun eat lor!...leave it then. afterwards i heat it up i eat for u to see!." came the stubborn idiotic reply......;9(

after i settled my big time business. exit the toilet. first thing first...THREW AWAY THE CONDEMNED TOXIC MAC BEEF RICE BURGER!.....

to be cont'd....the morale of this suffering shitting story that had just happen on this goon....haizz!

THE STUBBORNLY IGNORANT..part 2

came the following day....SATURDAY....
THE stomach was bloated with the toxic beef i ate on friday. there was much gas. i diarrohea the whole night...and was no lying with battery totally flat and weak on the sofa...
BRU..BRU...poo..poo...pooooooh!
oh shit! oh great!....NOT GAS CAME OUT...but watery stool....i dragged myself up...and zoomed for the toilet in split seconds!
BRRAAAMMMMM....BRU BRU...BRRRUMMPPPPP!!!
hai..hai...hai!!...i was panting..like being brutally raped by the ugly chua sisters......my knees were really weak now...it was wobbling...it was shaking...JIALAT!!
and i am now in full exposure.....couldn't be bothered now...since no one was home...i just wobbled naked to my wardrobe and put on a new pair of undies...of course not my calvin klein...BYFORD would do...and new shorts...and TIMMMMBER onto my bed...half dead!....;9(
after a brief rest, got up...and popped in POH CHAI pills...2 bottles instead of one...totally flat out now...and the hell tummy was still distended and bloated.....jialat!!
and the sides were aching from all the BRAMMMP AND BRUMMMP....;9(
.........how man.!....kept feeding with POH CHAI PILLS the whole day...and laid quite lifeless on my bed......
to be cont'd.....er...wait lah...MORALE COMING....U MUST LEARN THIS ONE...POWER ONE.....patience...please....

THE STUBBORNLY IGNORANT..part 3, conclusion

finally...my colour of my face was quite back to normal after 2 days of incessantly bombing the toilet...

my BRUMMP AND BRAMMP...were finally almost gone....

SUNDAY.... i was safe could conduct my outdoor gardening lesson in THOMSON RD FAR EAST FLORAL....

so here's the MORALE OF MY HORRENDOUS SUFFERING EXPERIENCE...

why did i consume that beef?...actually i already 6th sensed something was amissed...but still i ate it? why?

i was overcame by HUNGER...and so even my 6th sense was telling me DON'T EAT IT....I ATE IT...and suffered the consequence....

- DISLLUSIONED BY HUNGER....EVEN UR COMPASSION WITHIN IS ALREADY TELLING...DON'T DO IT!..

i ate. i suffered. i revealed. i told. .......BUT mum was still STUBBORNLY IGNORANT AND STILL BELIEVED THAT TOXIC BURGER WAS STILL CONSUMABLE....

WHY?

- stubborn and ignorance will kill that person who possesses them and refuse to detach from them....everyone please be aware of this....

it's like SMOKING CAN CAUSE CANCER...and yet people still smokes cos' they thought I WON'T GET IT...but then in the end they got it...and they regret...and they suffer painfully before the CANCER becomes terminal and finally snuff out their precious life...ornitoufo....

the living examples are already there for everyone to see and witness the consequences...and yet...the stubbornly ignorant still choose to take the suffering roads to a life of tragic ending....

ORNITOUFO...PEACE BE WITH U ALL WHO READ MY SUFFERING SHITTING SMARTING ARSE.........please be awaken from your stubborn ignorance....if not sufferings is not far from u.....

ornitoufo......golden words from ur humble goon.....;9)

Friday, April 14, 2006

NAMO AMITAHBA BUDDHA.....

THE GIANT BRONZE BUDDHA IN DAI YEE SHAN, LANTAU ISLAND, HONGKONG....

"MAY HIS MERCIFUL LIGHT SHINES ON ALL WHO CALL FORTH HIS NAME.......ORNITOUFO...."

Thursday, April 13, 2006

THE FOUR FACED BUDDHA.....



THE PRAJNAPARAMITA HEART SUTRA



THE FOUR FACED BUDDHA


this is my suppose godson from henan, china.....don't u think he got movie star quality?

MY POOR GODSON FROM HENAN, CHINA...

one fine day, out of nowhere i find a god son from msn-ing.
poor boy, he was a 19 undergraduate from HENAN, the same place where SHAOLIN TEMPLE is located.
suddenly, he just msned me and told me he was happy to know me...of course, i was blurred??? "who the hell is this cheena young joker?" i was wondering....and "how the hell he knows how to contact me?'...next question...
AND WHERE THE HERE HE GOT MY INFO FROM..who put me up where...how come i dunno one huh???
as i was counting all my question marks worms...he introduced himself....so since i damn free i bo liao with him lor....
and soon, i began to feel sad for him. he got a dysfunctional family just like me.....he got a alcoholic father who not only drinks, flirts but a wife and son beater....my god!
then i asked him to show himself to me in cam. and he did.
my god! he was one chiocheenahunk....1.82m 75kg...and really looked like andy lau...NOW I AM INTERESTED AND FLIRT WITH HIM....u know i am so immuned to teetukongs after so many for nothing popped in to visit me and shocked the hell out of me....;9)
and up till now...i am still blurr....what their visit to me was all about...????
to be cont'd.....

PART 2, MY POOR CHINA GODSON FROM HENAN....

The following night, my msn suddenly rang....oh! my china godson was on....
i msned him and asked him to show himself to me on cam(era). he obliged.
the moment i saw him, i was shocked! there were bruises all over his face so i asked him what happened...and he broke down and cried pitifully.
reader says:
Dear bob,,if i die...will u be sad for me?
reader just sent you a Nudge!
Bob says:
SORR...i was talking to a friend...
Bob says:
why do u want to die...u so young and u want to die...
Bob says:
I WILL BE FOREVER ANGRY AND U WILL BE very stupid
reader says:
~~~~~~~~
reader says:
hahaha...
Bob says:
i give u this BUDDHA...
Bob says:
pls dun think of stupid thing like killing urself..ok..
Bob says:
i give u my heart now..
reader says:
oh nothing, if i die...would u think of me.....
Bob says:
ai...yuan...i dunno...i will be very very sad...and very very guilty for the rest of my life...
reader says:
today.....iwas very sad, i want to end my life...
Bob says:
u r scaring me or what...I ANGRy u know
reader says:
sorry, i m joking...
Bob says:
y
reader says:
i m sad today
reader says:
er...
Bob says:
why u sad
reader says:
today i m no good, i cry again....
Bob says:
u ve me...u should be happy...
reader says:
my father hit me again ...today...
Bob says:
why
so he related the whole story to me...it went like this...very sad....

PART 3, MY POOR CHINA GODSON FROM HENAN....

he is the only child in his family. father and mother both 43. shit! i thought they were older than me...now became i older than them....:(
in henan, most people works as miner...coal miners that is. it's a very dangerous job. they go underground and sometime remain inside for days....
if the ground shifts, the mine may collapse and all the miners would be trapped inside.
his name is YUAN....he told me he wanted to leave this condemned place. if not when he finished study, he would surely end u as a miner too.
but his parents weren't that rich to send him outside china to study. he wanted to come to singapore....he wanted to be with me...
oh my god! and i barely know him for 3 days....he told when i talked to him, he felt very consoled....i gave him a very comfortable feel......pai seh...that's what he said.....:)
so i told him...come lor...come and live with me...i got extra room...i look after u...since now i already adopted u as my godson...(jialat! ah sar, 2 days bo liao msn and u gong gong go adopt somebody's child from china.....)
he was so happy after i said that and started laughing. then his mood turned solemn. sad...then he burst out crying.....
i was already curious when i saw all the bruises on his cute fair face...so i asked him did he fell down or what..
and he burst out crying even more pitifully.....*sniff*...and shit!...i cried with him...and pleaded him to stop and tell me what happened.
he revealed his father hit him. it started out he was drunk after drinking binge when he surfaced from the mine. in his moment of drunkeness, he hit yuan's mum. yuan was furious and yelled at him and told his mum that his old man had a gf.
this drove the old man even madder and he hit yuan incessantly....and that was where all the bruise marks on his lovable cute face came from.....:(
why i said he's cute and lovable?....my god! he's better looking than andy lau, man!
so i counselled him up to 2 am in the morning...and i sent him a picture of the BIG BRONZE BUDDHA of dai yi shan, lantau island, HK......the biggest in the world...
i preached some buddhist parables...and after that he told me he felt better. and told me it was a joy and very fortunate to have known kan tae, godfather...that would be me...hahahaha....;9)
and so...maybe...i just say maybe only lah hah...i will visit him during his summer holiday in july....i hope i could straighten him and his old man.
then i just realised. i also got one such jerk in my home...except now it dawned on me that...this old jerk didn't hit me...i hantam him instead when he really challenged me to a fight and threw the first few punches which i cleverly blocked.....:9(
i do regret till today ...that it was inevitable that i hit him. he bled from the nose...and i blue blacked his cheek....but if he didn't attack me...i would not have retaliated. i have up till now...LOON (tolerate) him until...i tell u...no one in this world can agitate me beside him...
ornitoufo....I HAVE FAILED IN MY PART as a son...and i try harder from today to enlighten my own lau han koo jerk of a father...
ornitoufo....i pray to the merciful BUDDHA could forgive me for my unfiial sin...ornitoufo......:9(

Monday, April 10, 2006

MY GODSON FROM HENAN, CHINA

this is an email sent to me from my newly adopted boy from HENAN, CHINA....very sad...i think i will visit him and see if i could help him....
Dear bob:
I am sorry to you yesterday!!昨天晚上我一直要你那么的等着,都是我不好!对不起!希望你不要生我的气!我不是故意一直不理你的!我爸爸喝醉了,妈妈自己招呼不了爸爸,所以我必须得帮忙!他喝醉了,又不得不管!!唉!!!我没有骗你!相信我!!不要生气!!不要不理我!:(
昨天我本来有个东西要让你看的,可是没看成.我有一个钱包,是牦牛皮做的,藏式的,我想想问问你好看不好看,可是竟被耽误过去了!唉!!我最讨厌我爸爸喝酒了!!真烦人!!
  好期待你能来啊!我估计7月初的那十几天放假!!呵呵!对了!我还不知道你的生日呢!!下会可要告诉我哦!到时,我也送给你一样礼物!呵呵!好了,不早了!我要睡觉了!拜拜!:)

                          原
                     06年4月11日,11:34
From china.
he's facing the same problem like me from my jerk lau han koo father...but his is more serious...his old man look like a problematic drunkard and resort to violence when drunk....

poor thing...i go there. he promised me to bring me to HENAN SHAOLIN TEMPLE...maybe i look see there...maybe can robe there...and as a bonus...the monk there can marry and ve kids...and eat meat...and live like any normal guy...SHIOK! U KNOW...

THE BOBBIT HILLBILLIES

Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named John.
A poor Ex-Marine with a little fraction gone-

It seems one night after getting with the wife
She Lopped off his Dong with the swipe of a knife

PENIS, That Is.
Clean Cut.
Missed His Nuts.

Well, the next thing you know there's a Ginsu by his side
And Lorena's in the car taking Willie for a ride
She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend

And tossed him out the window as she came around a bend
CURVE, That is
Tossed the Nub.
In the Shrub.

She went to the cops and confessed to the attack
And they called out the hounds just to get his Weenie back

They sniffed and they barked and they pointed "over there!"
To John Wayne's henry that was waving in the air.

FOUND, That Is
By a Fence.
Evidence.

Now Peter and John couldn't stay apart too long
So a Dick Doc said, "Hey I can fix that dong."
A needle and a thread is all we're gonna need

And the whole world waited 'til they heard that Johnny peed
WHIZZED, That Is
Even Seam,Straight Stream

Well he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court
With a half-assed lawyer cause his assets came up short.
They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape

And his pecker was the only thing they didn't show on tape
VIDEO,
That Is Unexposed.
Case Closed.

Ya'll Sleep on Your Stomachs
Now, Ya Hear......

I NEARLY KENA HEART ATTACK!

last friday, i near kena heart attack!
when the share market on, i blur blur went to buy HSI index. bought 10 lot at 39c. but the bloody market was like half dead.
i q to contra off my HSI at 42c for 5 lot. was thinking later in the afternoon

after my swim, i would sell the remainder 5 lot.
after the market break, i went swimming. about 2 hours later i returned. on the pc...checked trading status...

WAH! damn happy! done...but wait...NOT 5 LOT SOLD...BUT 50 LOT...my god!...I HAD SHORT SELL 40 LOTS!!

leetahsar u stupid blur goon!! how could u hantam another zero into my 5000 share to become 50,000....??

MATI..MATI!...PANIC...HYPERVENTILATING THEN!!!
wait!...my compassionate heart told me...chant....chant the prajnaparamita sutra...so i started my power chanting...and ended with gate gate para gate...para samgate...bodhi survaha....then AMITAHBA BUDDHA SUTRA followed....namo ornitoufo...slowly...the heart calmed down...and the blain was clearer...so i checked next the ratio of BUY/SELL...great! no buyer down on the queue...i hantam BUY 40c x 40 lot.....

soon the prices started to move..DOWNWARDS...20 lot done 40c...another 19 lot done 40c...finally the last one lot done 40c...total DONE 40 LOT @ 40c....

*BEE DTHAN!! let me see how much i made....wow piang! an extra gross profit of $800...add that to my initial gross of $300...it's like i make almost $1100 on friday....

not bad hor?....like kena a 2nd 4D prize leh...hahahaha...;9)
thank you heaven for ur mercifulness on this blur goon king...if not today...sure have to strip and sell my 24K mint arsehole....;9)

just yesterday, sunday, i was give free gardening lessons in my temple. this would be my 4th lesson now. and about 5 new participants joined in....my class was like getting bigger...hahahaha...;9)

yesterday lesson was very funny...i tickled everyone pink with my zany talentime story...this was how it went:

in my younger days, i was already damn garang. i brought my trusty CONGRESS guitar to a chinese talentime audition at rts ( the old mediacorpse name)...i strummed. i sang..

RINGGGGG!! XIE XIE, U CAN F OFF NOW!...can the abrupt reply...;9(...so bo bian i went back...

few months later or was it a year later, it was the english talentime turn...off i went again with my CONGRESS...

strumming and singing with all my heart...my feeling...my emotion...and my power voice...then finished...i was very surprised they allowed me to finish the entire song.

"Huh?....u finished already hah?....ok...thank you...U CAN F OFF NOW..."
SHIT!...more insulting! they were not even listening...haizz!...;9(

oops! side tracked too long...back to my gardening class...
by now everyone was laughing in stitches...hahahaha...;9)

after they had their fill of laughter, back to serious business. i demo how to group and arrange plants in a nice planter.

today i used a very expensive exquisite clear glass holder from SPAIN....it was a shallow bowl with a pedestal stand.

ok...u put the tallest plant that is ur TIAN...then u put in the REN plants...lastly ur DI...and wah la! a nice arrangement. next for the condiments...me piggy so i got a pair of cute piggies and put that infront...add in a water meter so that u don't have to worry when to water...and u can go away for weeks ...no problem...there is water reserve cos the media i used was a special media called SERAMIS....

then just happen i got a hollow pagoda...and that go over the water meter and hide it...so if u wanna check water level, just remove the pagoda..and there u know whether there is water by looking at the indicator...

CLEVER AND NIFFY HOR?
ok...WHO WANTS TO BUY IT??

immediately, dai shi heng loved it...he gave me $50...and insisted that i kept the change...if not he angry...my cost was only like $32 all in...but he said he just loved it...about my goonily novelty of putting piggies and pagoda to hide and camouflage the water indicator...so ok lor...SOLD...FOR $50....;9)

EVERYONE HAPPY WITH MY LESSON...TO MAKE ME EVEN HAPPIEST...!...;9)

*BEE DTHAN : hokkien term for BINGO!!

Thursday, April 06, 2006

SINGAPORE IS A POOL OF STUPID GENES!!

李敖有话说 解释“新加坡人的笨”
2006年04月04日 10:01 字体:大中小

4月5日 星期三 16:15 李敖有话说 解释“新加坡人的笨”

我收到一封从新加坡来的观众的信。这是封面,从新加坡寄来的,信里面说,李大师,我们不说客气话,我们一群崇拜你的新加坡人,几个月以前寄了一封信给你,请求你解释新加坡人比较笨这句话,就你李敖说得这句话的理由。


我说新加坡的朋友笨,我的话其实是这样讲得,我是说,台湾人不是最坏的,台湾人他是最胡涂的,我说香港人比较坏,祖国的大陆的人不可测,好坏我搞不清楚,新加坡人比较笨。我的话是这样说得,首先我跟大家说,用一种笼统的话,来描写一个集体的现象的时候,这种陈述的方法都是很粗糙的,我从来不说我讲得话不粗糙。记者们访问你,你当然会用一个笼统的话,来表达你的意思,而对这种话如果我们吹毛求疵,当然会觉得是不是说得太重了,会有这种现象。可是我必须说,如果对这种话,我们那么样认真的,或者过份的严肃的去看待,我觉得有点跟自己过不去。

大家只看到我说,新加坡人比较笨,有没有想到,当我说香港人比较坏的时候,另外一个意思就是说,新加坡人不坏喔,你只是笨而已。那有人说你说我笨也不可以,为什么说我笨呢?我必须告诉大家,大家看看一个照片,这个人是谁呢?这个就是我所佩服的李光耀,为什么我佩服他?我告诉大家,有很多人不喜欢他,说他太严厉了或者太精了,过份的得饶人处也不饶人了,譬如说他喜欢打官司,都是我所佩服的优点。他在新加坡立国的过程里面,那么样的艰苦的环境,能够拉一派打一派,最后能够使新加坡能够出人头地,在全世界出人头地,这是了不起的功劳,我很佩服李光耀。

大家看这是李光耀年轻的时候,在竞选的时候一个照片,我给大家谈什么呢?给大家谈一个事情,就是大家想想这个李光耀,李光耀他是怎么样成长出来的,大家知道吗?他的曾祖父什么人,曾祖父在十六岁的时候,什么东西都没有啊,就像一个平民一样,流亡到新加坡,白手起家,后来有点成就以后,他花钱给清朝政府,去买了一个官,叫捐官,捐了一个官,捐什么官呢?就七品官,捐了一个七品官,然后他有第二代,第三代,然后第四代就是李光耀这一代,像李光耀曾祖父这些人,就是今天新加坡朋友们的,他们的祖先,当时由福建,由这些地方这一类的地方,穷得没办法,孤家寡人,白手到了新加坡或者这些地区,来创天下来打天下,这种人他们的努力他们的勤勉,都是我们所佩服的。可是有一点我必须提醒大家,他们的文化水平是不好的,因为他们的饭都吃不下去了,在福建这些这一类家乡里面,他们都活不下去了。所以他们是,刚刚讲过,他的勤勉他的努力他的,都是好的,可是他的文化水平不好,因为他们是很穷困的一批人,这批人就是今天新加坡人的祖先,也就是今天台湾人的祖先,我们就历史观点来看,我们对他们充满了崇拜跟同情。可是我们必须就事论事说,这个他们的文化水平基础不好。

当李光耀出来以后,他自己受了好的教育,在新加坡,在那么复杂的环境里面,能够在世界里面出人头地,这是整个新加坡同胞,朋友们的一个共同的一个成就,对不对?对的,可是我们感到有一点点的说法的,也就是这个成就啊,虽然是在一个优秀的领袖李光耀导演之下,可是它还是个集体的创作,你懂我意思吗?如果你问我李敖,你讲出来新加坡出类拔萃的人,除了李光耀他儿子,他们几位政治人物以外,我李敖只能讲出一个人出来,我所知道的,就是那个可爱的女孩子孙燕姿,你再叫我李敖讲一个啊,我坦白告诉你,我孤陋寡闻我讲不出来,证明了什么,证明了新加坡朋友们的努力,他们的成就,是集体的而不是很多,不是说没有喔,是你李敖不知道,而是不是他多少个,个人的出类拔萃的。不是这样,给我李敖一个印象,就是新加坡人笨,这个笨啊,不是挖苦的话,而是说,新加坡在李光耀的领导之下,有他的成就,可是也有一个后果,大家看到什么后果没有,所为一个思想家我告诉你们,中国古代讲求法家的政治,像管仲他们都是法家,可是中国古代啊,实行法家的这个理想没有成功,或者说没有长时间的成功,没有很合理的成功,可是这个理想,这个政治理想,在李光耀的统治之下,在新加坡这块土地之上成功了,李光耀和新加坡真正在世界上面很完美的实现了,中国法家政治的这个理想。可是有他的缺点,他的缺点啊,管得太严了抓得太紧了,到处一个牌子就看到了,要罚你多少钱,大家变得怎么样,变得是在一个集体活动之下的,一个每一个个人,真正个人出类拔萃的,而窜起来的不多。一个重要的原因,请大家注意啊,没有恶意啊,这个种不好,什么叫做种不好?李光耀先生往上数了三代,是十六岁的那么了不起的,一个青年人,那么穷困底下,在没有文化水平之下,跑到了新加坡。

跟台湾四百年以前很多穷人,像台湾一个有名的学者,叫做彭明敏,他的曾祖父啊,来台湾的时候只有一条内裤,穿著内裤就从福建,这样跑过来了,什么都没有啊,穷得什么都没有啊,当然也没有文化水平。这个基础无法跟像英国比,英国人家多少代的人,他们是累积的文化水平,所以当李光耀要在新加坡建立一个英国式的这种民主的体制的时候,他的人民有的时候跟不上,坦白告诉你们跟不上。所以我想李光耀先生心里,他有一个,有某种程度的了解,就是他的人民他的公民,整体的水平跟不上。可是他的这个法治的基础,中国法家的理想已经压下来了,所以就变成今天的这种,新加坡的个人的突出的表现,有世界性的,我李敖所知道的相当的有限。什么原因呢?就是这种统治方法跟这种群众,两个互相结合的太紧了,所以我们觉得那种,由于松懈而发生的一些优点,不见了。这就我所说新加坡人比较笨,笨的意思呢,就表示有一点点,这个反应啊,一个萝卜一个坑,有点不会破格。当然是,他好处不会破格,可是坏处呢,也不会出格,就有这种现象。告诉你们,一点恶意都没有,我跟你们有什么恶意呢?可是告诉你们,作为一个思想家,一个历史家,我来看这个问题,我们看得一清二楚,就是这样子,当然我会信口说出来。

******

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