MY TWO ANTIQUE RADIOS LOUDSPEAKERS

i got two antique radios at home...both>70 yrs old...and everyday when one breaks down, the other will sound...and poor old me...the more i try to switch them off...the louder it gets...
if not for my prajnaparamita sutra chanting...i will definitely suffer and premature death!.....;9(
cos' i understand the source of it's happening...
one phuak radio who complains...and complains..but refuse to free herself from the other broken down radio...who broadcast all the way to haaydai to the teetu caves...
and when the airtime is back home...both radios gang up and becomes a very very loud STEREO...so poor leetahsar is sandwiched in between..can siao or not u tell me???
but i understand..YES I UNDERSTAND....
the prajna of humilation...i ve to bear it..but dunno how long can i tahan it...before i myself may hit the coffin planks....;9(
if i have borne it...next life i shall be free from such ignorant people who are currently my lauhankoo..and my almost driven crazy mamalee by the bloody lau han~!.........;9(
While the lauhan will go spider huntings for about 10 days or so after he gets the rental from my FT IT tenant and my siblings who pay him monthly protection money...or radio license fees...and off he goes to fuck spiders in haaydai..
but mamalee is a bit cranky now...in fact VERY!...24/7 stereos will on...u try turning it off...it only gets louder!!...and best solution is to leave the house....;9(
let me give u some domestic woes i m facing daily...
yesterday, i washed my face. after that i mopped face with towel. i was quite blind withoiut my specs..GUESS WHAT WAS SANDWICHED IN BETWEEN MY TOWEL?...guess?
of all things...HER UNDERWEAR...!!! my god...i just nearly mopped my wet face with her undies...can u imagine?...now how would u react?...remember it was ur MUM's undies?
i asked her why she hanged her national flag there...and guess what was the reply?...i was like hoping...sorry i forgot instead she defiantly remarked "WIPED ALREADY WON'T DIE LAH!!"
suay ka pa cheng...!!! i gave up...cos i knew if i continued arguing with her...her stereos only get louder....
and she was boasting to me.."U GOT SUCH A DEVOTED MUM...U SHOULD BE HAPPY...SEE NEXT LIFE U WILL BE SO LUCKY OR NOT?"
really??...i can't wait for next life u know....;9(
oh...merciful buddha...pls have mercy of me....direct me a path to walk so that i could be free from such ignorance...that i could meditate and hopefully find an answer to my bo liao woes...
my absolute happiness is still attached...except the my sadness for such ignorant people and compassion for them is getting thinner day by day.....and such ignorant fools happen to be the people who give me my life....how i wish i could just return it to them...and return my soul from where it originiates.....;9(
so be it...this is my fate...other than this...I M VERY VERY HAPPY....yes...i dun understand...parents are suppose to give their everything for their children bliss...but mine are like trying to radio me insane....maybe i should be insane or may dead just to please them for once...and forever....;9(
and my only consolation now is i striked 4D again...1615 starter plus $1 ibet...so i got my $270...a slight conolation from heaven...thank you my GOD...for being so caring and cheering to me..thank you..if not for u...my sanity would sure fall apart..and i might be really dead stiff this time...
in my heavenly FATHER...i m most gratifying to YOU!

WHAT A WEIRD DAY!

today was a very weird and funny day for me...and it all end up well....;9)
my air steward pal from the SOKA ASSN asked me out...and i blur blur entertained him. GUESS WHERE I ENDED UP??
in KRANJI ARMY CAMP...all registered for the NDP performance..courtesy from the MEN'S DIVISION OF THE SOKA ASSN...and i m not even one of the member..
so since now i was in the pirate ship....do what the pirates do lor...went..HO HO HO..AND A MERRY ALSO...
and next i knew..i was HI..HA..HO..with the whole bunch of guys...haahaa..;9)
very fun!! u must come join. me will continue until the BIG NDP DAY...this will be the last performance is held in the NATIONAL STADIUM...cos after this event, it would be demolished and another part of our sense of belong bulldozed to rubble...dun understand why the bloody gov is doing this???
ANYWAY...COME JOIN ME...NEEDS A FEW HUNDRED MORE VOLUNTEERS...every thursday and sat..starting from 7pm to 9pm...drop at YEW TEE MRT...and walk through a block of hdb...cross a road and u will see KRANJI ARMY CAMP.
just walk in and register...FREE RED HANG TEN T-SHIRTS GIVEN F O C...drinks and snacks provided...after practice got buses to drop u off at different mrts/bus exhanges.
COME...U MUST EXPERIENCE THE JOY OF MASS PERFORMANCE....I DIN REALISE HOW FUN IT IS!!!....;9)

THE NAKED ME
what u dun bring with u...u won't bring back too...
nakedly, i come into this world....
quietly and nakedly i will leave...
the shell that i inhabit.....
will be the shell that i leave to this world..
from ashes to ashes....
bones to bones.....
from where my soul came...
and to where it shall return....
ornitouto....;9)

I PLAN...I PLANNED...I WAS PLANNING....NOW I DUN PLAN NO MORE!!

PLS DUN MENTION THE WORD 'PLANNING'...i plan and i planned...and was then planning..and planning...
and still the bulldozers came..and my garden got flattened...4 TIMES .....in my career...CAN DIE U KNOW IF IT WERE TO BE U...do u know how much of my blood and sweat were buried by the bulldozers...how much were my resources being exhausted...
oh yes...! i planned and i planned again..and invested in CLOB shares hoping to speed up my finance to purchase a piece of beautiful land in jb so that i won't be at the mercy of the bulldozers from the paps...and what happened?
I GOT CLOBbered by the CLOB saga...ALL THANKS TO WOODY GOH, PINKIE CLOWN AND THE MATHATTER of matland...
and i planned...and planned again.....with my last ouce of energy...i planned and rented a nursery at the foot of mt faber...TELOK BLANGAH HILLs...beautiful...and when almost everything ready for business...a monstrous quinine tree fell on my garden sheds...and then heavy rain came...and my god!! mudslide!!!.....and all my plants and shelters were crashed...
so i planned and i planned again..with my tiny little breathe left...and built up the whole place spick and span...and then what happened?
PSA INCREASED MY GARDEN RENTAL 3 FOLDS...AND WANTED ME TO PUT IN A NEW OBSCENE RENTAL DEPOSIT...
and so be it...i gave up...no more cash...no more energy...no more breathe!!
I RETIRED!!....;9(

the korean lady who can't pronouce clock...she says COCK!!

http://media.putfile.com/korean-clock-lady31

LTS TEETUS

teetu here, teetu there...
teetus flying everywhere....
flinging their hair,
sending their love stares....
and all the lauhan will stick out their tongues...
and go hay hay hay....
teetu here, teetu there...
teetu invading everywhere....
in thailand, in matland, and most in sinkieland...
at geylang, at joo chiat, at chinatown....
and now even u see them gathering at queenstown...
lauhan here...and lauhan there...
lauhan in this island everywhere....
flock to them...flock to there...
flock to teetus everywhere.....
suck them here..suck them there...
suck them until...they are out of air!!!
......ornitoufo.....;9(

oink...oink!!! this adulterous piggy is back!!

where were we?...oh yes...
sibeipine suggested to me to pose as chinjiagong's adulterer and he would flim me...in very compromising position of course. all the pics would be used in the court so that sibeikang wouldn't need to pay alimony...and may have sisuagong his son as custody...
HOW?...SHOULD I DO IT?..OBLIGE THEM...?...i dunno...i like sisuagong too...very very cute..this little joker!
NIGHT....
phone rang. "tarsah, wanna go karoke...i belanja...." sibeipine calling. ok lor...no need to pay...me go!!...;9)

so touching again!....sibeipine picked me up in his latest MERcz and off we went to clementi KBOX karaoke.
i was a bit suprised. his mum was also there. when we keyed in the songs, ordered the drinks, settled down...sibeipine's new gf started the ball rolling.
her name was ling mei. and goodness! she was gorgeous and sang very well too. a petite sweet little thing...so eye candy...;9). she was a beautician running her own business. sibeipine was really one heck of a fisherman...always caught the best plump mermaid!!
as she was singing, beipine mum related to me how suffering sibeikang was. hardly saw him smiling now. always like doom and gloom. she heard more squabbling then greeting from the couple.
and she asked me what did i think of sibeipine's indecent proposal....OH NO!!! not her too....u mean i had to act out the bad guy part....the ADULTEROUS PIGGY...no....!!! NO WAY!!
i told her both sibeikang and chinjiagong just got do compromise each other's failing....he had to do everything openly for her to see to the extend of letting her count his arsehairs...
and chinjiagong gotta to bury the past undoings of her hubby, if not it was going to be very hard to reconcile this 2 squabbling adults and parents..and their behaviours were more like immature spoilt brats. neither wanted to give way to the other......
when she was about to ask the next question...MEMORY....LIKE THE SOUND OF THE MOONLIGHT....HAS THE MOON LOST HER MEMORY....
my rendition of MEMORY...i belted it out...and later...another song....I LEFT MY HEART IN SAN FRANCISCO...and another...and another....
so she bo bian...and quietly listened...and got high and orgasmic in my songs rendition...and finally both me and she sang...GREEN FIELDS....and SOMETIMES WHEN WE TOUCH....
and so...the night ended.....and quickly i excused myself...and siam to the waiting taxi which was by then almost 1.15am...and shit...almost $10 to reach home...1.5times cab fare rate..
and...well...i din answer them to play that adulterer part...and hope they won't continue to pester me to act in it...for even for a MILLION BUCKS!
ornitoufo....

LEETAHSAR, THE ADULTERER SWINE???

oh my god!! why am i putting myself in such a bad light?? ....:(
to begin today's real real out of this world story which just happened to me yesterday...my weird weird proposal after my encounter with sibeipine who no wonder so good to bring me a solid resin chair to replace my opening up one...;9(
i was laughing my guts out...my tummy almost splitted from the ANNALS OF THE DRAGON KING...by the ever funny dotology....littlereddot...my comic idol...haahaa..
and then the phone rang. sibeipine was on the other line asking me to have lunch with him. he missed me after so long din see me...as if....hmmp! (must be problem lah...if not ..who's lts...no one bothers...as usual...)
while talking, the chair my butt was on gave way....and sibeipine was startled and asked. i told him. he said no problem, he sent one super resin pool chair later to me when he at the same time came to pick me up for lunch.
in about half an hour, in a flash, he was here. my goodness! nice chair!...very very cooling some more...u know..got aeration holes below my butts...haahaa...;9)
so touched...i told him today's lunch on me...off we went to zer ren...for timsum lunch...
so we ordered...and we makan..and we makan..and almost finished. sibeipine said wow..damn shiok the timsum here...and he ordered some more...and now he makan and he makan...and i was doing the mental calculation..SHIT!!!
"so, beipine, how much is the cost of the chair?" i asked, mopping beads of sweats forming at my brows and forehead. chuak sai u know....so many extras baskets timsums he ordered....;9(
"aiyah...forget it sar...forget it lah...we are brothers what!!" he spoke with splattered bits of food in his mouthful of gluey lor mai kai in lotus leaves. "i give that to u lah...."
"how much?" i persisted asking.
"$18 only lah"
and me did a fast calculation on the bill that i was going to pay...MY GOD!!! more than $50...siao liao!!!....;9( i could ve gotten myself about 3 of those chairs....;9(
so later, the bill came. as promised i foot the bill...$54.80...shit...exactly 3 chairs and 80c change some more....
now after having our fill, we started talking cock.
"sar, u know i got a new gf...damn chio u know..." sniggered the teeko sibeipine, the other half of the notorious rolanto brothers of the west. of course his elder brother would be nonetheless sibeikang.
"so how...when she's going to be history again?" i retorted rather sarcastically.
"Aiyah..dun like that lah, sar...." sibeikang was rather offended. "i think i m going to marry her....."
"sure or not...dun be shy....just tell me her expiry date...and i make sure i m not in town to settle all ur bo liao rubbish dump...." i shot him in the bones again.
"u think i m that bad meh?" he asked. "honestly sar, how u see beikang and chinjiagong's marriage...i mean do u think..u know...?"
"divorce?" i snapped. "yes!...sure divorce cos chinjiagong is one stubborn idiot who refuses to make any compromises...and keeps digging the past...there's no end to it...." i sighed.
"yes, sar.... i tot so too..." he turned gloom and doom. "but sar, u know my mum...and everyone in my family loves sisuagong...my cute cute clever nephew....HE'S SO CUTE AND LOVABLE....if they divorced, surely we will lose him to the mother....."
awkard silence. he looked at me.....i looked back blankly at him.
"sar....*slurp*!" he took a sip of the TIE GUAN YIN tea. "can u do us a big big favour?"
yes...i knew it...HERE IT COMES!!
"since chinjiagong likes u...and talk to u alot on her personal things with beikang...." he started rather jerkily and lor sohly. "and ur acting so good....can u act as her adulterer..so that we can film u with her in compromising position.....can...can?"
my eyebrows nearly popped out of my forehead...and i nearly fainted with flipped white eyes!!
"What the fuck are u talking?...this tea hor not liquor...u drunk is it???" i yelled back at him.
........to be cont'd....will lts oblige and become the adulterous swine....buy tickets now to find out the devious plan of sibeipine......

LAUHANKOO BACK FROM FUCKING HAAYDAI SPIDERS!

OH HOLY SHIT!!!

the bloody lauhankoo is back...and having slept enough...eaten full full...the radio commences........;9(
2 loudspeakers are on full blast now...HOW HUH???...JUMP OFF MY WINDOW???...;9(

great!! the door slammed!!...and mamalee just ran off...
and now it's going to be my turn next....shall i clench up...and use him for punchbag practice???

sorry guys...GOTTA TO BE GOING...IF NOT...I WILL HAVE ONE DEAD LAUHAN LYING ON THE FLOOR...see u all tonight!!...;9(

MY POWER FRENCH TOAST RECIPE...dun get too horny after eating....

OUTDOOR TRIP TO BOTANIC GARDENS....21-05-06
SUNDAY. was up at about 8 am. so excited and full of enthusiasm. my free gardening class held in my temple was finally officially ended...for the time being....;9)
today, it was outdoor visit with the whole gardening gang to BOTANIC GARDEN at about 11am. so was up to prepare some picnic finger food to belanja the group.
ah...! my rosemary is growing super due to the persistent rainfall....emm!! and smelling good and powerful!
so i would be making my FRENCH TOAST TODAY AND power the gang with my rosemary....;9)
RECIPE: (already bought one day before hand)
1 loaf SUNSHINE MULTI GRAIN BREAD
1 doz eggs
virgin olive oil
black pepper, organic soya soy (very expensive hor)
parsely - chopped up..minced
cumin seeds, thai special chilli powder
shittake mushroom.
method: VERY EASY..break eggs, chopped ur rosemary and parsley and mushroom. throw everything into eggs.
add soya soy, black pepper, chilli powder and 2 table spoon olive oil.
beat until thorough mix.
get non stick TEFAL pan. heat up and add a table spoon olive oil to the pan.
scoop about 3 tablespoonful egg batter mix into hot pan. let it simmer and fry a bit. almost cook but still watery, paste a pc of bread over the egg batter. PRESS and try to get all the spilled out egg into bread.
leave it to cook. flip the eggless bread and heat for awhile.
BREAD READY FOR EATING... repeat and done. ready for the day picnic at BOTANIC GARDENS ...;9)
use the bread wrapper to keep bread...cool bread first before putting them into wrapper...
and my rosemary, shittake power multi grain bread is ready to be eaten...very nutritious...very filling...;9)

a touch of compassion from a reader to this goon sotong

From:
Newshope
20-May 02:36
To:
leetahsar
1782 of 1823

83628.1782 in reply to 83628.1781
your mom sounds like my aunt... maybe because they used to live in Kampong so they talk very loud... also maybe they also very kek sim by their husbands ... so become like that.
mindset and attitude are very difficult things to change... esp if for the older people.
For me, I dont just lun (tolerbate) .. i am hopeful, so I try to "educate" and "show" my parents how to be more gentle, considerate and loving towards the family members. It's hard but never too late to change. I find that although my old parents have love for us and each other but the communciation is very poor.. they dont talk about things, and if they do talk, the moment they open their mouths . it's all blaming words... and finger-pointing. Not good. Sometimes, we think that ..aiya talk to them also they dun understand, but if we never explain to them things, they definitely will never understand. Don't give up on your mom lah..... do you speak to her softly or loudly?
From:
leetahsar
20-May 12:02
To:
Newshope
1783 of 1823

83628.1783 in reply to 83628.1782
usually i treat her as singing her croaky karaoke...until she suay suay hits my dead point, then i snap back at her...which would shut her off...
but do u know she got another jue zhou..another more powerful dead point?
she will wail niagra falls on me...then how?....;9(....lan lan and get out of the house without second thought!!
yes, alot of us singles complain about our parents.....but when it comes to our turn to be....the history repeats....
maybe it's the parents' ways of showing concern, care and love...but sometimes such love presentation can be very very overbearing...don't u think so?
so for us CHILDREN...WE JUST GOT TO LOON...AND LOON...and loon until dunno then will explode...
and for the PARENTS....HAVE A THOUGHT AND SOME RESPECT AND SOME BREATHING SPACE FOR UR BELOVED CHILDREN....thank you!!!......
ornitoufo....;9)

From:
Newshope
20-May 19:40
To:
leetahsar
1784 of 1823

83628.1784 in reply to 83628.1783
Overbearing expression of love? Yes... often times, it happens, esp if the parents still think that their children are kids :) And worse still, if the parent has a dominating character.. or worse still, if the mother scared that her son will turn out to be her terrible husband so she tries to discipline/restraint her son in her own way lor. Many factors why they behave like that.. like upbringning, the people she hangs out with, her family background, her family members... etc<>That's dangerous.. can't you guys talk about things?? COMMUNICATE? But dont talk when everyone is mad, but when things are peaceful? Can don't snap or not? Ummm have you tried holding your tongue and swallow that ball of fire (rooon!), when you're mad.. and until you cool down then you TALK to her again about what went wrong? Try praying when you get mad. Take it as she sing song is one way to handle the problem... another way is "re-educating" which requires alot more patience, love, understanding and giving. Your mom, like every one, needs love and attention still, despite her age lor. It's interesting how we play reverse roles with parents when they grow old. :)It can be rather unhealthy to live with your parents all your life and try to battle wit their control. I have a good friend - pretty for her age, rich and capable. She didnt move out from her family and stay on her own until she was 50 (2 years ago)... oh my, she is now happy enjoying her life, and now some more got a boyfriend leh.. after so long :)
<> Hahaha, is this the JUE ZHAO of men? Then when you come back.... problem still there? What about talk it over and get it done with? well.. perhaps tis mthod will not gain points with men. --------------------------------I got a family problem, perhaps you can give some advice on how I can handle my brother. Accordingly to my family, my brother has been rather unreasonable and harsh with my parents, especially mom. My mom helps him take care of his 2 year old treasure son. when the kid falls down, my bro will be sarcastic to her and blame her for not taking good care. He is also not very close to my sister(married also). He would prioritise his wife's family during Chinese New Year or birthdays or mother's day. So my mom also not very song with him. It saddens and frustrates me everytime I hear complaints on the phone abt what my brother DID again. But I am too far to help soothen the wounds.I suspect the key to the problem are:1) TERRIBLE attitude, jealousy by my brother and absolutely WRONG PROIRITIES2) VERY poor communication between bro and family members3) Lots of speculationsoh dear I am getting more lor sor like you.. i better end here. I tried to reach out to my brother, but he always pretend everything is PLEASANT when I come home...


From:
leetahsar
20-May 20:14
To:
Newshope
1785 of 1823

83628.1785 in reply to 83628.1784
actually everything appears very simple to me u know...i m retired now. there's no distraction. when i meditate, my mind is so clear it can be scary..IT'S LIKE UNREAL....
i sense things before it happens...would u believe it?
ok back to u and ur problematic brother...
u already mention his 2yr old son is a treasure to him...if a ceramic is treasure to u and say, if ur mum chipped it, how would u feel?...u entrusted to ur mum...and she chipped it...
and now..it's not ceramic. it's ur brother flesh and blood, of course he's very upset what...!
what ur brother DID...is just a hearsay from u from those who complain against him. HAVE U WITNESS HIS WRONG DOING PERSONALLY?
the person(s) who complain do not means he/they are always right...take my mum for example. she bangs down my cacti dish garden which took me hours to create...I SHOULD BE THE ONE ANGRY...instead she was the one who radioed me...and complained me to all my sisters....
luckily, my sisters are righteous girls...they understood. they kept quiet cos' mum was the one at fault....if they tried to pacify with her, she would be further sadden...and then things could be worst...we understood...so we all SHUDDUP...IT'S A VERY SISTERLY/BROTHERLY MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING AMONG US.....maybe my pscyhic projection onto them, they received and understood....haahaa...;9)
u cannot take sides until u witness personally what transpired between ur brother and the rest of the family members...unfair to ur brother....u hear only from one side, the other side, ur brother is silence...
AND SILENCE DOESN'T MEAN HE'S IN THE WRONG...maybe he keeps quiet to avoid further misunderstanding....feel with ur compassionate heart...u will understand...
just like i keep slience...doesn't mean i admitted my fault...just that i dun want to provide the foolishness of my mum....GIVE WAY..IS THE BEST TO DETER A DIRECTION CONFRONTATION...
IN A FIGHT, THE PERSON WHO WITHDRAWS IS ACTUALLY THE STRONGER FIGHTER AND NOT THE COWARD.....
think and u should understand what i mean....ornitoufo...
dun hv to worry for me....cos...my family domestic upheavals are like pang sai to me.....so use to it liao.....LOVE, LOON(TOLERANCE), AND COMPASSION.....will help me to overcome all these nonsenses ....SO BE IT...ornitoufo....;9)

From:
Newshope
20-May 20:53
To:
leetahsar
1786 of 1823

83628.1786 in reply to 83628.1785
I know... you many people not to worry for you liao.. and I'm not lor. I was just raising various perspectives that's all and hope you won't get offended by my lor sor ness. I believe you may have already considered some of the options I raised. Good to know that you've reached a meditation state that gives u the peace.As always, I am cautious not to take sides or make judgement just based on hearsay .... pretty related to my profession. :)It always takes two to tango.. and I know the weaknesses of my parents that may aggravate the situation. For one, my mom does not know how to stand up for herself and most of her kids bully her, and they learnt it from their father. I know my brother since I was born :)) hehe.... He is not SILENT and he DOES not WITHDRAW. Of course I would not expect you to see the whole picture just from a post of coupla sentences from me. Even I don't have the whole picture. Hmmm... when the time comes, is the time to sort things out. Alas, let me not continue with this. thanks for your time.

ESSENCE OF PRAJNAPARAMITA HEART SUTRA

this msn chat i just posted is to tell everyone here...ur mum can't be any worst than mine...
so treasure ur mother no matter how bad she treats u...and ur father too...no matter how wrong he does unto u...
cos without them...u won't be here...just bear it...
IN PRAJAPARAMITA HEART SUTRA...it explains...
u r humiliated and bully this life is because in ur past life u might have bully them...
so just bear with it...the PO LOU MI OF HUMILIATION....bear with it...and then the next life...there will be no more debts with the humiliators anymore...
ORNITOUFO.....;9)

MORPHING BUSH

THE ACTUAL SUFFERING OF LEETAHSAR.....

J says:i think asia market is leading by itself
Bob says:cos i got business report from hk>>>china an hk..economy going to soar man...jin!!!
Bob says:yes..china now is damn hot..and most hk..shares are linked to china...
J says:soon they will realise dow is gone
Bob says:the bloody usa cos of the stupid bush..keeep bombing here and there instead of sprucing up their econmy will ruin many things..
Bob says:unprodcutive the stupid bush..BIG IDIOT!!!
J says:yeah lor
Bob says:jin...my lau mah..now giving me headache
Bob says:exactly like lauhan..who has left hyaadai
Bob says:she bang down my cacti dish garden..and still can radio me for 2 days laio...
Bob says:damn suffering
J says:move out
Bob says:haizzz...how i wish..sell the house..ea goes separate no friciton liao..
Bob says:my mum is really like a broken down radio...always want to win an argument even she is in the wrong..
Bob says:i specifically told her not to touch my dish garden which took me a long time to create as i was meeting a reader...
Bob says:woould be back soon...and she backside itchy went to touch and mess it up..
Bob says:and some more instead i radio her...she started stereo me...
Bob says:like that also can???
Bob says:last sunday...a couple offer to send me home...from my gardening class...
Bob says:the moment they entered my house...my radio mum told them not to trust my words...can u imagine how embarrassed i was..i was the lecturer of the class..and she said like...ME HER SON OR NOT HUH???Bob says:luckily...that was already the last lesson..so bo chap!!!
Bob says:and my couple students jus laughed..cos i like got 6th senses..already told them what me mum was going to say...to them...
Bob says:so i was laughing..and they were laughing...
Bob says:and my mum...tot she was damn clever...we were laughing how foolish she was!!!
Bob says:sabo own son like that....sad jin...very sad....
Bob says:i always laughing...but actually...this is what's happening to me daily...
Bob says:and today..she got the guts to repeat...she told me..i make her can't sleep for 2 nights..and she vomited...and diarhoea...
Bob says:something wrong or not..jin...
Bob says:v...n d..is food poison ...guan wo pi si!!!
J says:ahhahaha
J says:old already
Bob says:so i yell back at her...and told her..if she so clever to radio...USE IT ON HER OWN HUSBAND..and that shuddup her!!!
J says:a little crazy
J says:yeah la
J says:actually why she so scare of old man
J says:i still dun get it
Bob says: damn damn sian..jian...this stupid foolish family of mine...damn damn sian...
Bob says:does ur mum embarrass u infront of people..stranger.s....??Bob says:i tell u another incident..
J says:no la
J says:we dun la
Bob says:she booked tour to genting...purposely dun book hankoo's
Bob says:so only me and she...and the bloody hankoo create a storm...
Bob says:wanna burn down hourse..wanna sell house...all the stupid nonsens.
Bob says:on the way to genting...i was engross in magazine at the stop at ayer hitam...then .i realise..i ran up the bus...the moment she saw me...
Bob says:she radio infront of everyone...screwing me like hell...ya...i was wrong so i kept quite....she wah lau...get louder and louder...until the rest of aunties...got to criticise her
Bob says:telling her...they never do like this to their sons....their sons..sure scold them back...but me...so good keep in silence...
Bob says:and that shut her off....
Bob says:she think she great..but actually present herself as a very stupid woman!!!
Bob says:sad...jin...very sad...
Bob says:i always tell her...5 organs in her face...she uses her radio mouth the most...
Bob says:after speaking that....true enough..radio breaks down...and the more u try to shut her off...the louder it gets....I SURRENDER MAN!!! Bob says:so recently there is a chinese newspaper contest...WHAT DO U THINK UR MUM IS LIKE...name an appliance...and in less than 35 words, write the reason...u know what i write...there's a prize of 1k for the best and funniest caption..
J says:calm down
Bob says:i wrote...my mum is like a phua radio....the more u try to turn it off...the louder it gets...
Bob says:i tot...old man gone...can have peace...but NO...this fat lady..is also giving me hell...
Bob says:now u know why i wanna be monk...
Bob says:to search for the reason of my existence......
Bob says:i always say u r very lucky...
Bob says:u understand why now...
Bob says:and at my age...i should be able to decide thing for myself...
Bob says:they are still like controlling me...what a fuck!!!
Bob says:sad....jin...very sad....
Jsays:dun worry
J says:you can come stay with me once i have a house
Bob says:I M PUTTING THIS UP...to let people know what's suffering..is like...

THE GOOD DOCTOR, THE CLOWN AND THE BITCHY JINX

19XX, a 23 yr old goon was in training as a male missy.

VENUE: SINGAPORE GENERAL HOSPITAL, NURSES TRAINING SCHOOL....

one fine day during lunch....it was exceptionally noisy...and many were like talking in tongues...no they din talk...they wagged instead...rumours were flying fast and furious...
THE GOOD DOCTOR OF THE CLOWN was dead....slump in her office...HEART ATTACK...DEAD!!! stiff cold....
rumours had it that the good doctor was tormented by her evil mum in law...the clown's super powderful old bitch...notoriously known as gecko, the shrivelled up lizard.
why? well, she produced a mouse...a white albino and subnormal autustic son. and she had to shoulder the blame...her manufacturing machinery was at fault. the evil gecko blamed her...she forgot his clown son might have defective raw materials..i.e his pinky sperms...
so it went on...day in and day out....day out; day in...day in;day out...oops..sorry..radio spoilt!!!...;9(
u know...as a male missy already damn stressed...as a chiobu good doctor lagi more stressful...and day in, day out, she returned home to face the bigger radio of the lizard...CAN SIAO, RIGHT?
so the good chiobu doc was miserably depressed...and days built into weeks..and then years...HOW MUCH CAN ONE TAKE?..day in...day out...day out..day in...oops...radio...konging off again..HOLD ON....*SLAM..SLAM..SLAM!!!*
ok...let's continue......
so one fine...so happen this gong gong goon went to be a male missy...then one fine day, it happened..THE GOOD DOCTOR WAS FOUND - DEAD!!!
it was rumoured that she couldn't take it anymore...she injected herself with a heart stimulant...like those given to heart attack patient...to stimulate the heart into beating...if ur heart is beating...it does the reverse...IT STOPS IT FROM BEATING!!!...
and she was dead...cold stiff....*sniff*...such a nice ladylike chiobu...most nurses loved...SHE'S DEAD...THE GOOD DOC WAS DEAD...!!! ....sniff..sniff...wah..ahh..ah..ah..aaahh!!!.....:(
WHY?...WHY?...why good people die like that??....even i din know her personally i couldn't help shedding my niagra falls for her...wah..aahh...ah...ah...:(
all were hushed up...just simply reported..GOOD DOC DIED OF HEART ATTACK...case closed!
..............part 2....THE BITCHY JINX...

THE GOOD DOCTOR, THE CLOWN AND THE BITCHY JINX

19XX, a 23 yr old goon was in training as a male missy.

VENUE: SINGAPORE GENERAL HOSPITAL, NURSES TRAINING SCHOOL....

one fine day during lunch....it was exceptionally noisy...and many were like talking in tongues...no they din talk...they wagged instead...rumours were flying fast and furious...
THE GOOD DOCTOR OF THE CLOWN was dead....slump in her office...HEART ATTACK...DEAD!!! stiff cold....
rumours had it that the good doctor was tormented by her evil mum in law...the clown's super powderful old bitch...notoriously known as gecko, the shrivelled up lizard.
why? well, she produced a mouse...a white albino and subnormal autustic son. and she had to shoulder the blame...her manufacturing machinery was at fault. the evil gecko blamed her...she forgot his clown son might have defective raw materials..i.e his pinky sperms...
so it went on...day in and day out....day out; day in...day in;day out...oops..sorry..radio spoilt!!!...;9(
u know...as a male missy already damn stressed...as a chiobu good doctor lagi more stressful...and day in, day out, she returned home to face the bigger radio of the lizard...CAN SIAO, RIGHT?
so the good chiobu doc was miserably depressed...and days built into weeks..and then years...HOW MUCH CAN ONE TAKE?..day in...day out...day out..day in...oops...radio...konging off again..HOLD ON....*SLAM..SLAM..SLAM!!!*
ok...let's continue......
so one fine...so happen this gong gong goon went to be a male missy...then one fine day, it happened..THE GOOD DOCTOR WAS FOUND - DEAD!!!
it was rumoured that she couldn't take it anymore...she injected herself with a heart stimulant...like those given to heart attack patient...to stimulate the heart into beating...if ur heart is beating...it does the reverse...IT STOPS IT FROM BEATING!!!...
and she was dead...cold stiff....*sniff*...such a nice ladylike chiobu...most nurses loved...SHE'S DEAD...THE GOOD DOC WAS DEAD...!!! ....sniff..sniff...wah..ahh..ah..ah..aaahh!!!.....:(
WHY?...WHY?...why good people die like that??....even i din know her personally i couldn't help shedding my niagra falls for her...wah..aahh...ah...ah...:(
all were hushed up...just simply reported..GOOD DOC DIED OF HEART ATTACK...case closed!
..............part 2....THE BITCHY JINX...

PART 2....THE BITCHY JINX...

ALL WAS QUIET in the famiLEE....GLOOM AND DOOM....;9)
pinky was really sad...they said he din walk like a guniang before...u know like a SUPERMODEL with the kar chng kiao kiao....pointy backside. he was normal. walked like a man. talked like a man.
after the anguish of his chiobu good doc wife's death, things changed...DRASTICALLY!!
he sashays instead of walk like man...and drools when he talks...OH MY GOD!! AND HIS FAVORITE COLOR NOW IS ...of all the colors....PINK!!!!!..broom...brrrrm...rrrmmm...THUNDER AND LIGHTNIGING !!!!
he was then like taken the post of DEFENCE MINITOOT....and always sashaying about in the MND or MINISTRY OF NATIONAL DEFENCE.....or simply...MAN OF NO DEEDS....
the bitch appeared...the jinx...she was bitchy. he sashayed...she lagi more sashayed..and their butts bumped into each other...or rather her pussy hammerd his bloodhound...and the whole MND was like...THE HILLS ARE ABLAZED.....WITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC......
so they wedded...and the clown now lovingly called pinkie was laid!!...humped!...bonked!!...RAPED!! by the bitchy jinx!!!!
and soon...wahh..ahh..ah...the jinx bombed KK hospital...and next year...she bombed again...and next year...yes she bombed again ...and next...year...*one second pls...*SLAM...SLAM...SLAM!!!*...sorli radio spoiled again....;9)
no lah...she like the world war only bombed twice....so in the end pinkie clown got 4 kids...and the ah lau toa lau kwuee(big embarrassment)...cos then he was the pm and promoting...STOP AT TWO campaign vehemently...and ruthlessly...
he told peasants to stop at 2...GET THEMSELVES STERILISED...u know get their balls tied into knots...and could only fire blank shots.....if not faced the music!!! those who so stupidly heeded the threat are now regretting... FOR LIFE!!
he single handedly enunch almost all the married couples especially most men here in sinkietown....that's why now most are balless to vote them out! ...and now..our population goes into negative brith rate....MATI..AND REGRETTING NOW!!!!........;9(
how how...?...how to enforce this STOP AT 2...when his own clown prince produced twice the amount...4???
so he added a law..newly wedded couple can only bomb KK hospital twice...bombed more than that...sorli.....u were no more subsidised...and ur 3rd child was going to be nationally ostracised....placement in school...last...and only if got vacancy...no free medical follow up care for 3rd child...no income tax rebate...no nothing...better u sell ur 3rd child away...or strangle it ..like u know a nip in the bud to alleviate the parents' burdens in bring up an ostracised innocent child!!!..........;9(
AND NOW HE REGRETTED....COS MINUS BIRTH RATE NOW....ALL THE LAU HANS..WAITING TO DIE...DTHAN SEE..NOT ENOUGH PRODUCTION OF SERFS TO SUPPLY TO MNCS..OR SERVE IN ARMY...SO FT OR FOREIGN TALENTS IMPORT LOR...and the nation sinks further underwater..and hence...SINKIETOWN....;9(
and that my dear readers was our story...THE GOOD DOCTOR, THE CLOWN AND THE BITCHY JINX.....

THE REBELLIOUS LING OF THE LEE

....and our story continues....with the ling of the lee....the only head shrinker daughter of the famiLEE.....
how do i start?.....
oh yes, u can say she's the odd one out....not only in sex..but in look and in blain...WEIRD PUSSY..if u ask me....;9)
of all the people, she got horny and turned on by a bengali....a indian from SRI LANKAN...
the lau eh got so pissed off, he almost hit the coffin planks one time...heart attack!!...and from there on he wasn't in good health..
after the heart block, came the anal block. he got piles. so off he went to the top hospital to have his arse chrome and the piles pulled out...and the whole hospital was like on its toe...all the big docs, small docs, blurred docs...practically everyone was in confusion and trying to pick an arsehair from the almighty lau eh backside...
this male missy was also there...u know what i heard. they got the chioest of the chiobu nurse to shave him naked down south...gel him properly...and poke in a tube opener to prise open his hole so that the top notch arsepicker doc could reach into to pluck out his cherry piles...haahaa....;9)
was told that the rebellious ling of the lee was then like thrown into cold storage...totally estranged from the monarchy...
but as they said good things dun last long...TRUE ENOUGH!!...the mixed colored wedding was not a blessed one...it passed through much strains and ostracisation from her own dynasty...
and pretty soon, the young mixed couple couldn't bear the pressure anymore...especially for the bengali indian. he called it quit! divorced ling of the lee and returned to SRI LANKAN...
lau eh was estactic knowing his beloved daughter was ditched...ling didn't know it was the hand of the monarchy at work...and hence prematurely ended an otherwise quite a beautiful mixed marriage....
good thing she didn't manufacture any mixed pariah offspring...if not she would surely be given the royal white silk to hang herself with..
lau eh welcomed her back wholeheartedly. he proved to the world for he alone could control anyone's fate and destiny...so dun mess with me...like a strong warning to the terrified peasants....
so once back, his ling now became a bit of a ding a ling....she lost faith in man...black ones especially. she cut her hair by herself...and made herself looked like a butch...an AB normal butch...more like a siao char bo...
so siao as she might be...lau eh..bo bian..put her in IMH..no...no..not as a patient but as the top HEAD SHRINKER...so there she stays up till now...TOP HEAD SHRINKER OF IMH....
another weird story from the famiLEE......
er...want some more???

I WAS ALMOST THERE...BUT I RETURNED....

Jinji Yue says:see..pap good la
Jinji Yue says:where on earth government give money during election one
Bob says:i think i use the money to buy a solid guitar...i want to start playing..and go basking in mrt ...i will be the next...FAT KELVIN...u know the blind singer....of superstar
Bob says:buy votes lah..u so toot
Jinji Yue says:yeah
Jinji Yue says:they give you money to buy your votes
Jinji Yue says:you try US
Bob says:after erected...they will hantam us back pain pain..recalll everything with interests...this trick used so often even babies also know
Jinji Yue says:they give you shit
Jinji Yue says:usa they hit you will all shit with nothing to take
Bob says:right lor..that's what sinkies now giving back to the paps..SHITS....they r going to be ousted this time...just u wait and see...MAY 6...very interesting n exciting day...
Jinji Yue says:the bush say social security running out
Bob says:u will be able to see it...cos...only in the morning the results will be out...
Bob says:jin..jin...they tax us even before a baby is born..
Bob says:when pregnant mum go see dr...kena pay 5% gst liao...Jinji Yue says:you pay to have baby Bob says:what the fuck is this...
Jinji Yue says:sorry hor
Bob says:the opps were saying to us...if they get voted in...they will scrapped the medical gst...ie. no tax for seeing dr...
Jinji Yue says:hahaha
Jinji Yue says:usa they dun help you plus tax you too
Jinji Yue says:you dare to compare
Bob says:..here sinkies hor...not usa...
Jinji Yue says:yeah
Bob says:usa unemployed got money take...here..unemployed go jump mrt of highest hdb
Jinji Yue says:that is why you people have good govenment still complain
Jinji Yue says:you dream horBob says:jin..jin...u hor...give u money..u blain washed liao...
Jinji Yue says:no money you beg
Bob says:u got see the pic i send u...wait..
Jinji Yue says:you watch too much tv
Jinji Yue says:here no money mean no food and doctor
Bob says:wait.. Bob sends:
Bob says:open and see the difference...readers posted to me one..
Jinji Yue says:hello
Jinji Yue says:what picture
Jinji Yue says:send again Bob sends:
Bob says:ok..the stupid old man is making trouble again for me...shall hammer him now.
Jinji Yue says:hhaha Transfer of "papwp1eo.jpg" is complete.
Bob says:jin..can u imagine this FUCKing old man...
Jinji Yue says:PAP will win la
Jinji Yue says:what
Bob says:he on this sides...dun off all the appliances...
Jinji Yue says:what he wants
Bob says:the other side...i on cow peh cow bu..
Jinji Yue says:lock him out la
Bob says:now i told him the bloody tenant didn't off his room light..fans..and everything...he comes and scolds me...why i bothered...WHAT a is he
Jinji Yue says:yeah la
Bob says:i m paying the bill..for xxx1...my black sis subsidise $100 for xxx2...anything more than that..old pays...
Jinji Yue says:tell him to go fuck offBob says:so...when ever i bath...in the night...he off every damn things...i came out of the toilet..the whole house dark...FUCKing hell...
Jinji Yue says:hahahaha
Jinji Yue says:damm fuck up
Bob says:the other side which i m paying..he on fans...lights...tv...the kitchen one..the toilet even..and dun care..dun off...up till MORNING u know...
Bob says:the other side ...only he and mum come to SLEEP at night..and yet...i am paying like almost $70...
Bob says:the XXX2...everyone there with the tenant some more...it's only like $120+ only...and he already bei song..
Bob says:he's collecting $300 rental...and what he does with it
Bob says:feed teetus in thailand...goes there and FUCK spiders..
Bob says:now back only barely 2 days...wanted to kill me...
Bob says:sad or not jin...i ask u....
Bob says:my mum package rice for me to eat...he go and hid the rice...and later gave it to the tenant...what the FUCK is this guy thinking jin
Bob says:is he my old man or what?
Bob says:and yesterday..i nearly wanted to hantam him properly..
Bob says:the stupid tenant kick my tray of cacti which i used to teach last sunday...
Bob says:kick, kick lor...right...fallen already what..he apologises...then cleaned up for me...i said ok...
Bob says:and no..the old FUCKer came out started scolding...so i called the tenant come out from his room and explain to the bo liao old FUCKer...
Bob says:and still he keeps on scolding ..me...so i yell back lor...
Bob says:i nearly lost my cool...and re arrange his face man...
Bob says:every day..jin..everyday..this type of minor minor things with the old FUCKer around...will erupt into MOUNTAIN...like that...can die right
Bob says:if u were me...how
Jinji Yue says:i move out lor
Jinji Yue says:i sell the house and move out with your mom
Bob says:the old FUCKer is now my greatest BUDDHIST TRAINER..if i can over come him..no..one...i really mean NO ONE IN THE WORLD CAN EVER IRRITATE ME LIAO...
Jinji Yue says:tell you mom dovorce him to get his cash too
Bob says:yes...my stupid mother...always let him scold until cries...cries only wanna divorced..get her lawyer...told her pay $2k...divorce...swee swee..dun have to bear with him...
Bob says:scare...and gostan...
Bob says:shit hopless woman
Bob says:everyday just got to put up with him..very tiring u know...jin..
Jinji Yue says:i think you move out la
Jinji Yue says:just let him die there la
Bob says:give him the cash..i tell u he will poke and fire his sperms and die cock standing in no time man...
Jinji Yue says:why must you give him the money
Jinji Yue says:you keep la
Bob says:jin...sgp...u know..
Jinji Yue says:you move to seng kang too
Bob says:yes..why...i also think...
Jinji Yue says:why bother
Bob says:do u know...the next day only after my uncle cremated...Jinji Yue says:you move on with your life la
Bob says:he demand from me the house deed..
Bob says:he wants everything to be t'f to him...FOR FUCK
Jinji Yue says:it is in your name right
Jinji Yue says:sell it laBob says:to feed the spiders lor...go for more FUCKING spiders activities...
Jinji Yue says:i think swollen
Jinji Yue says:dying soon la
Bob says:very very pek chek jin...i want to leave this house...i very very pek chek....some time...hor..i think..i just return my life to him...and jump off the window...and that's it
Jinji Yue says:no la you stupid
Jinji Yue says:you should make his life difficult
Jinji Yue says:dun allow him to come in la
Jinji Yue says:you lock your door
Bob says:yes...and now...got money from robert jobs...got money from gov......he will go and FUCK spider again..very soon..better immly better still
Bob says:he not around...all the sisters and brother..and mum..all so happy...and peaceful...and me keep kena 4d..he come back..what a FUCK!...lst prize...4318....rememebr my pickup...5318...i bouhgt...2$..basket..let it run off by a 4...shit man
Jinji Yue says:encourage him to go more la
Bob says:if not now i got 4 k bei piaow
Bob says:he went...every month after taking money from tenant..and sisters... until no money..comes back...and create trouble...
Bob says:do u know ...he can after scolding me...come and ask me..
Bob says:BOO...BOO..give me $20...i wanna to go buy makan...
Bob says:that bastardly cheap u know...i very very pai seh to have this kind of FUCKer as a old man..
Bob says:the other day i scolded him properly...i told him..luckily he's the father...if he were to be my son...i will hammer the daylight out of him...
Jinji Yue says:dun hummer him la
Jinji Yue says:jsut dun talk to him
Jinji Yue says:forget about him la
Bob says:and i told him also...actually i am warning him..his ter kar already swollen like anything...dun see dr..wait chopped off then he knows...
Bob says:cannot jin...he also comes to disturb me...
Bob says:that day i was like msn yuan...infront of pc lright...he just barge in and cow peh cow bu..even yuan heard it and saw it in cam...
Bob says:and the poor boy...so touching...cried for me...
Bob says:he felt very very SORRY for me...and asked me to visit him...he put me up in his house...so touching...
Bob says:so...i wrote in my UPHEAVAL LOR...u read or not...jin..I M VERY VERY SAD inside..u see me heeHAAHAA ..but i m very very sad and disappointed that i could end up with this type of bloody FUCKer....
Bob says:i envy ur old man...who planned for ur family...that's why i keep reminding u how good ur father was..
Bob says:my father...lost everyhting...the money my grandma gave me..the cpf money my uncle gave..cos...every cents i gong gong..t'f back to him...and he donated to genting...
Bob says:and see how he treats robert...christine...and me...
Bob says:u can see urself right...last time...everyday also quarrel one in the office at mt faber...
Bob says:now no money...he goes FUCK spiders...no money to gamble..he FUCKs spider..after FUCKing...no money come back create trouble for the whole family...jialat jin..damn damn jialat...dun die also no use....
Bob says:so...i wanted to be a monk now...to find out the reason..why...WHY...I CAN END UP HERE WITH THIS TYPE OF OLD FUCKer
Jinji Yue says:it is luck la
Jinji Yue says:life will get better
Bob says:i tell u a secret jin..now....i nearly ended my life when i quit poly...do u know why
Jinji Yue says:send him to old folk home next year la
Jinji Yue says:luckily you did not
Jinji Yue says:why
Bob says:cos...almost everyday...he will humiliate me...insulting me...like jiak liao bee...useless...disgraceful...all those hurting words...
Bob says:and u know...sometime can gets into u...and i actually...went all the way to the 20th fl and prepare to end it once and for all...
Jinji Yue says:your turn to scold himback la
Jinji Yue says:he so old
Bob says:then..i took off my slipper...i can remember very clearly......i am crying now as i type these words...
Jinji Yue says:why you mom dun protect you
Bob says:i stood on the ledge...about to jump liao...
Bob says:then out of nowhere...a voice came....a very very soothing voice...like GOD...maybe
Jinji Yue says:forget about the past your have us as friends la
Jinji Yue says:fuck the old man
Jinji Yue says:i pray he die soon ok
Bob says:and i pause...and i listen...and i listen...and dunno what happen...like an invisible hand...guided me back onto the floor...
Bob says:and i look down...the 20th fl...and i cried...
Bob says:i ask myself..why is this happening to me...why is my own father forcing me to this stage...why
Bob says:then...the voice came again....and i was touched...really...i m not writing..story...i think u r the lst i m telling..this very personal story of mine...no one knew....not even my family...
Bob says:so i always tell people..I VE BEEN THERE...AND I U TURN BACK...u know what i mean now...don't u
Bob says:and that's why...i went to the church...and that's why....i felt the HOLY SPIRIT...consoling me...if not...it's NO bob liao....
Bob says:but now...again...he started all these...and i cannot control my anger from rising...he is really testing my LOOOON>>>
Jinji Yue says:forget about him
Jinji Yue says:rubbish peopleBob says:he told me the other day..this time he will poke me with a bar...and make sure all my intestines come out...see how evil he is
Jinji Yue says:dun bother
Jinji Yue says:so did he return the money to robert
Bob says:after that...my mum told me..he wasn't joking..he really KEEPS A BAR BEHIND HIS ROOM DOOR...
Bob says:NO...lah..all went to FUCKING spiders already liao...where does the family benefit anything fr him one...
Bob says:he spends on himself...he goes to philippines last times...gambled in us dollars..and FUCK filipino spiders...
Jinji Yue says:tell yourmom divorce him la
Bob says:i think..i will write this very very sad tale of myself...and let all the readers cry along with me....
Jinji Yue says:bob you take care
Jinji Yue says:i am tired
Jinji Yue says:need to sleep
Bob says:mum hopless lah jin...already standy the cheapesT lawyer..2k...solve all our prob man...last min wanna bring her there...she gostan...
Jinji Yue says:waliao
Bob says: SORRY...i sadden u....SORRY..u take care ok...and really jin..u must treasure ur mum now....ok....
Jinji Yue says:you dun think so much
Jinji Yue says:no la
Jinji Yue says:i cannot tahan already
Jinji Yue says:tired
Bob says:yes..sometime...i find u also very rude to her..u just compare to my old man...u will realise how lucky u and kor chai are...
Jinji Yue says:take it easy ok
Bob says: sleep..then......
Jinji Yue says:no la
Bob winks: Play "Kiss"
Jinji Yue says:bye