GAYS & LESBIANS ACQUAINTANCES and QUEER ENCOUNTERS

shall i start my lts stories on the gays and lesbos encountering...some comical...come sad...some garang...some direct...and some even propose to marry me....men whom i dun even seen or know...haahaa....;9)..
and lesbos who turn their problems whinning onto me...and in the end i become their DADDY.....;9)
and the teetukias from way way remote china areas.....er..who are now paiseh...my godsons...haahaa...;9)
yes, the gays and lesbos are diversities of life...a different queer lifestyles that gradually evolved....the next millenium lifestyle??
most of them have some sort of emotional problems.....and they find it better to cope when they fall in love with their same sex....homosexuality....
it's very very complex....something that can be very impromptu and unexpected could just come from them.....like..er...showing themselves in the cam to u - the total stranger - and then does a live floor show all the way.....to climax....MY GOD!
shall i tell all these colorful XXX stories?.....what would the readers think?.....would they engrave me as a teetukong which luckily i am not.....ME A MONK WANNABE...and definitely NO SEX PLEASE! type....
hmmm....me chant first...and see should i start ..........
ornitoufo.....;9)

ENCOUTER WITH A BROKE-UP LESBO COUPLE

the funny thing is i acquainted with both the butch and bitch couple....and both have msn me quite often until they abrupt split up....i dunno their reason....Y only mentioned a "3rd party" intrusion.....
and that's my dear friends is only an example of lesbian affair....
completed the world is getting to be...is this gay love and gay co-habiting the next new lifestyle of the 22nd century??
i wonder....has the world change?...who is the old one we live in is being restricted by too many rules and regulations??
....do u want me to continue with my even more bolder homophobic encounters?

THE GAYS AND LESBOS ENCOUNTERS

ok...ok...i think i better do it...dun want to procrastinate further lest i forget everything about my uncanny encounters with gays and lesbos. their way of thinking...and their finally queer sexual preferences....
let me start of with this lesbo....poor thing was dumped by her gf....and she was sad...and this was what transpired in our msn:

Bob says:
hi boy! how's everything with u?
Bob says:
let me guess u r in CC?
Y says:
lik tat lo
Y says:
ya bingo nw at cc
Bob says:
??like what
Bob says:
how...get lyn back?
Bob says:
aiyah...maybe u try getting a hunk lah...
Y is inviting you to start viewing webcam. Do you want to accept (Alt+C) or decline (Alt+D) the invitation?
You have accepted the invitation to start viewing webcam.
Bob says:
yes seeing u know..
Y says:
dunno wor
Bob says:
goodness...the light makes u look like a spirit..
Y says:
tink she not cming back liao lo
Bob says:
u r rather slim u know ...
Bob says:
and goodness pretty leh...
Bob says:
i jus saw a smile...
Y says:
hahaaaaa.......
Bob says:
yes..laughing now....
Y says:
where got pretty
Bob says:
ya...lah....a bit makeup here and there..u should be gorgeous chiobu...
Bob says:
how old are u ...er..girl?
Bob says:
look...up a bit..i can see ur forehead...very dark...
Y says:
30yrs old lo
Bob says:
ya...lookup...quick lah..dun be shy...
Bob says:
yes..u got high cheek bones...a beauty in disguise..
Bob says:
so why u 2 broke up...
Bob says:
and my goodness...u r a plain jane...
Y says:
got 3rd party lo
Bob says:
a bit of ici...will have the guys whistling man!!!
Bob says:
what 3rd party...a butch or a guy
Bob says:
and how can that be leh?
Y says:
is a butch lo
Bob says:
i tot both of u are so sisters...
Y says:
nw they staying 2gether ma
Bob says:
why suddenly a change of heart...
Bob says:
and what about u..got kicked out of the house?
Y says:
nope.b4 tat i hv rent hse v her
Bob says:
poor thing...
Y says:
so nw jz me oni at hme
Y says:
her heart so fast change
Bob says:
oic...and alone...
Bob says:
yes girl...the heart changes by a blink of an eye...
Bob says:
nothing is permanent here..
Bob says:
it would be best u find a hunk to love...than a bitch u fall in love...
Bob says:
can u imagine..what ur life would lead u ....when u luv a girl...say...20yrs later???
Bob says:
by then... lah..girl..u will be a lau char bo...no more coe u know...
Y says:
hahaaaaa.......
Y says:
bcme lau cha bo oso nvm la
Bob says:
so..do u think that long or not...or just for the few yards of pleasure infront of u...
Bob says:
aiyo..u very tee kee leh..when u reach there the time...dun say i din warn u in advance hor...
Bob says:
u r pretty what...quite feminine u know...
Bob says:
and in ur prime....
Bob says:
hook a golden tortoise...
Bob says:
shag him half dead...and u own his bank account liao...
Y says:
heheeeeee......
Y says:
im not so pretty ma
Bob says:
then...when u r really loaded..u go do the things u wanna lah...
Bob says:
...uncle goon hor...
Bob says:
but quite practical leh...
Bob says:
i told myself..if next life i be born again..I WANNA BE WOMAN...shag the man half dead...and own his fat bank account..
Y says:
haaaaaaa.......my papa make me smile oni
Bob says:
but seriously...dun u want a family...er...a man to really truly loves u...for the rest of ur life...
Bob says:
oh..then i be ur godfather lor...CALL IN THE MAFIA...
Bob says:
so now how...u stays alone....??
Y says:
heheeeee......u b my godfather lo
Y says:
yup alone nw
Bob says:
what about ur family...dun u stay with them..since er...now u out of job...
Y says:
but lucky my fren cme to stay v me
Bob says:
the money ...how..headache u know...when come to rent paying time
Bob says:
oh shit...another er..butch???
Y says:
yup.is butch oso
Bob says:
...i dun mean to offend...but seriously...i always pressure my sisters to get married...
Bob says:
and yes..they all get married..except the super rich one...that i m keeping for myself..SHE'S MY SUPER DUPER JACKPOT...
Y says:
daddy....act nw got other gal love me.but i cant accept her till nw cz i still love lyn
Bob says:
no lah...she's so freaking rich..i think she will be ok...and survive..she got me around what...
Bob says:
aiyo...u means lesbo 's love so complicated and gluey type one meh...
Bob says:
unlike the gays..
Bob says:
shoot bak...grab...poke...release... and good luck...game finish..NEXT TARGET...
Bob says:
and by the way...me no...me very decent..
Bob says:
and me going to be monk wannabe..so...NO SEX PLS..
Bob says:
and now ready for this..and rotfl...ready?
Bob says:
me...still...a virgin..in 24k mint condition...front and back...
Bob says:
by the way...how do u find my look?...a sotong king...a blur kind...or a ugly like fuck..lau han koo..
Y says:
haaaaa......my daddy look so gentle 1 ma
Bob says:
wait...let me show u this great swordsman pose...and standby to laugh ur guts out..
Y says:
ok
Bob says:
there...i m yang guo...
Y says:
haaaa.....where got lik a yang guo wor?
Bob says:
a fat one...lah...
Bob says:
yang guo skinny...me double the size...double the fun...
Y says:
hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....................
Y says:
daddy make me laugh oni
Bob says:
wait..who's daddy..urs or u calling me...no joke
Bob says:
so fast...
Bob says:
or u rather i be this joker here...tangsan chang...
Y says:
call u daddy la
Y says:
not joke la
Bob says:
me now hor..infested with all the teetukongs u know...
Bob says:
everyone wants a pc of my 24k mint meat...mati lah...
Bob says:
they wanna poke me..raped me brutally..suck me dried...or ask me to shag them from dusk to dawn...wow lau...all these teetus so garang...
Bob says:
or ask me to hump them...bonk them... with them...my god!!
Bob says:
so i told them..CAN WE BE PALS FIRST...and the become limp...and left me alone....never to msn me again...
Bob says:
u will be surprise...i got personal housecall from them...no joke..
Bob says:
really gave me a shock...one moment...flirting with them...the next day..they were at my doorstep...siao liao..
Bob says:
then my trademark..CAN WE BE PAL lst?...and they left disappointed..shit!!!
Bob says:
ur cc is in jb or sgp...
Y says:
in jb la
Bob says:
how cheap?
Y says:
at sg so xpensive leh
Bob says:
ya...15mins...1.50
Bob says:
like typing gold here..
Bob says:
and u din look for new job???
Y says:
still looking 4 new job here
Bob says:
does the butch behave like the teetukongs...so impatient...see..gets horny...erecting...and want to hump liao...do ur PLU..does the same pattern?
Bob says:
if i dress up...i bet i look like this fattie girl...
Bob says:
wait i change..and then u comment....
Bob says:
Bob says:
there u see...my pals told me SAM TIM HAR IS MY TWIN SISTER..
Bob says:
sum...or shen dian xia.....so related hor...
Bob says:
this my chiobu indo gf...coming to get me soon..better think of an evil scheme to dump her for good!!!
Bob says:
cannot lah...
Bob says:
me not suitable for her...
Bob says:
she's only 30...me XX....u oredi calling me godfather the mafia...
Bob says:
how to marry her...
Bob says:
people will say..IS THAT UR FATHER WALKING WITH U?
Y says:
haaaa........can marry her if ay 1 ma
Bob says:
..then how..i have to put paperbag over my head...
Y says:
haaa.....no nee la
Bob says:
cannot lah...she actually deserted me once..told me she got freaking rich indo bf...then now..dumps bf..a.nd comes for me...
Y says:
jz say v them tat is ur wife ;lo
Bob says:
or maybe kena dump...so play high class tell me she dumps him..
Y says:
heheeeee.............
Bob says:
anyway..she's young...and freaking rich u know...
Bob says:
she owns a 3 storeys spa centre in jarkata...and planning another branch..
Bob says:
father owns 2 petrol kiosks here in sgp...
Bob says:
marry her..definitely good for me...but bad for her...leh...
Bob says:
and me very piggy chauvinistic type u know..
Bob says:
ya hor...i can shag her..and her bank account is mine..then shag his father..and his is mine too..
Bob says:
and i will be rich..rich...RICCCCCCCCCCH!!!...siao liao..
Y says:
eeeeee..........can ma
Bob says:
ya why not...me still haven't used my front and back..
Bob says:
and my back is so round and big u know..my butts...swee swee like aug 15...
Y says:
a r so funny leh
Y says:
muacs
Bob says:
ya lah..if not how to cheer u up...
Bob winks:
Play "Kiss"
Bob winks:
Play "Heart"
Bob says:
it's quite late now u know...11.30pm...shouldn't u be getting home...
Y says:
eeee......ur son will love u 4ever
Bob says:
jb robber town leh...not dangerous for a petite pretty girl like u meh??
Y says:
will b going hme later lo
Bob says:
me no son...lah...no t married dear...
Bob says:
see what chow yun fatt hinting to u...
Y says:
eeee.....im ur son lo
Y says:
is godson ma
Bob says:
huh...u taking drug or what..
Bob says:
paint urself with ici..i match make u to a real goondu joker...
Bob says:
not me of course...some one else..
Bob says:
THE GAYS AND LESBIANS...are a world of illusion....very hard for any of the ideal dreams to materialise...
Bob says:
and by the time u realise it...hua er..du xie le...
Bob says:
the flower would have shrinked....
Bob says:
it's like my this popular saying...
Bob says:
EMPTINESS IS FORM....FORM IS EMPTINESS...
Bob says:
WHAT U SEE NOW IS NOT REALLY WHAT U R SEEING...
Bob says:
WHAT U R NOT SEEING..IS REALLY WHAT U SHOULD SEE...my dear...girl...!
Bob says:
prajnaparamita heart sutra...
Y says:
ya i nw a
Bob says:
if u r born...a girl...u act like a girl...
Bob says:
if u born boy ..u act like a boy...
Bob says:
if girl wants to be boy instead...she create inequilibrium within herself..
Bob says:
and that my dear...leads to suffering....
Bob says:
and vice versa...and that's why most gays die of AIDS...game over..for a moment folly of lust of the flesh...sad...u know...
Y says:
ya lo
Bob says:
and me..dunno how i got into this ...
Bob says:
i found out already...
Y says:
but wat can o wor
Bob says:
my ding niece...playing a funny joke on me...
Bob says:
she told me..if u dun marry that...indo gf...u marry a DANNY LEE...shit..
Bob says:
and she puts me up ...and that's where all the teetus now come a visiting..
Bob says:
...this girl....of mine really very cheeky ...
Bob says:
and goodness...i think i am quite hot...
Bob says:
look stupid..and blur...but hot..
........msn ended cos her cybercafe's time's up.....

LEETAHSAR THE CHOC TASTER

i just completed my gce 'o' and was waiting for the results..it was a 6 mths wait...what to do?
work lor...and it so happen ALLIED CHOCOLATE once located at tanglin halt got opening for quality control guys. i was staying in q'town...so very near home. i went for the interview...
during the interview, there were a HR guy, a lau kuay bu head of the quality control dept...and her assistant, another lau chiobu...
infront on me was small pieces of chocolate without the wrappers. those wer called NEAPOLITANS..small rectangular piece of different flavoured chocs.
so they tested me on the spot. asked me to differentiate what flavor was what...me got everyone correct...milk, vanilla..and even the orangey one...steady right?
yes...i was hired!
my job: quality control..duties: PAID TO EAT AND TASTE CHOC...EVERY HOUR...i.e 8 X a day.
i was suppose to check on the choc raw material called cocoa massa. it was a piece of possessed raw choc round block. each was like 25kg....all stacked up neatly...
so off i went to the cool room. i lifted a piece to scrap some sample for the rest of the girls quality control team to test...
my god! guess what was below the circular block...a pancaked dried up BAT..yes...and with the round shape background, it looked like BATMAN insignia...yucks!
next piece, i lifted up...worst...a pancaked cat..dunno how low dead and pancaked...next piece...green color ...overgrown with algae...oh my god!!...i was going to puke!...imagine i had been tasting and enjoying all those sample those factory girl sent to the lab for me to taste and write report about it...
and here...i found for my self....dried up pancake bat, cat, algae..and dunno what ...i dread to lift any more....
u know what they do to it?
they throw everything of this yucky massa into a big cooker. melted them, filter them...and mixed in the sugar, milk, cocoa butter, flavoring...and mould it out as chocolate like TWINKLES, NEAPOLITAN, DRAGEES, TABLET...etc...for the consumer...
everything dissolved already...and there u r eating all the extra bits and dunno what inside...yucks!!!.....
the lab did some test on the sample i collected..and u won't want to know the dire results...NOT FIT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION...
do u know by right all these massa should be destroyed...but no...they marked them and then sent to some more underdeveloped countries like indonesia where they would use it...and then maybe returned the end products here to sell....
unscrupulous business tactics!
i wrote a very honest and of course bad report on the findings...and handed it in...however, all was silence....
after sometime, i went back to the cool store room and found all the condemned massa missing....i asked the production engineer. he said all utilised already melted into chocolate and made into bars and tablets...
guess where did the finished products go?
to our army ns boys as energy food in their jungle training ration...my god!! how can like that???
yes, it was supplied to the army...our army!....
so i bo bian..and bo chap...helpless what?...what could i do?
i continued my daily routine works lor...
then the best part was one day, they sent some nuts sample. of course i suppose to roast them, eat them and comment on the quality...
shiok u know!...i got macadamia, brazilian, hazelnuts, almonds...fresh one...me just threw everything into the oven except the macadamias where were already processed when imported from australia...that one i supped on the spot...like dunno how many grams i ate man...
i ate so much nuts that for that day lunch, i actually skipped...full already what...haahaa..;9)
the brazilian nuts was the most expensive...and the most delicious...big, crunchy...and simply heaven to munch them...
so after makan...chopped a big PASS on all the nuts sample lor...
these nuts later would be coated with chocolate and turned into a product we called DRAGEES...or nut coated chocolates...
i worked there for almost 2 months already. and part of my work was that the company driver would drive me to the big warehouse where they kept all the cocoa beans imported from different countries...
GHANA produces the best ..the most fragrance beans...and i had to take quantitative sample from the mountainous stacks and stacks of gunny sacks containing the cocoa beans....
these samples i would bring back to the lab...me so the physical testing. my tongue, nose and sight came into play..
must observe for tiny insects....a kind of choc weevils. must lick the cut up raw beans...and taste it to see if they are sour, bitter or rancid....and must smell the flavour for "muskiness"..etc...
the weevils part was very interesting...u could tell whether there was or not. so i clever...i put some suspiciously selected beans into a container...left it aside...and true enough a few days later, weevils started appearing from the beans....
so we did an estimation on the amount of weevils produced...if it was way beyond the limit set...the whole shipment of beans would have to be rejected...supposed to be such theorectically...but dunno company got carried out the action or not....that part..me dunno so was my dept....
it was a month now...it was pay day. on the same day there was an open house choc sales only to employees....so me got my paid and went to see what chocs on offered lor...
wow!...many different kind...v h choc was originally from holland u know...so we had those imported all the way from holland...the LIQUOR FILLED TYPE choc..yum yum!
so i bought...almost $100+ i brought back all the chocs happily to belanja my family and maybe my friends too...
when i reached home thinking i got a good bargain...i was utterly shock to discover what was inside the choc when i opened up the wrappers...
MOTHS...tiny ones...many started flying out of one of the box of expensive choc...i was furious...how can the company sell this type of products to own stuffs??? i look closely at another box...eek!!...tiny worms shits...i could bet and sense there were worms inside there too....so i didn't unwrap...
i was mad. the next day, i din turn up to work anymore...i called to resign..utterly disappointed with this evil choco company...
i brought all those sickening unwrappped suspicious chocs to the MINISTRY OF ENVIRONMENT...there i officially filed a complain...and i told them where to locate all the hideous cocoa massa raw choco...and when on the spot i opened up the boxes of chocs..yes..u guess it!!...moths started flying..and worms crawling everywhere inside....:(....
u know what...my head of dept called me suddenly a few days after my resignation whether i went to file a complain...she said the company kena summon for like 5 figures..and she was actually pleased with what i had done...she told me...i did right...as a quality controller...she couldn't bring herself to do the same thing...cos of her livelihood...and for that she admired me for my guts..haahaa...;9)
and that ends the story of the yucky van houten chocolate job...the unscrupulous way of those so called foreign company that set shop here....and do this sort of dishonest business!
up till today...i rather eat any other brand of chocolate...but never van houten!!!
and the factory had since closed shop liao...or shifted out other countries....no more in sinkietown....
the end.

more stories please.....

From:
xXxTripleX
22-Jun 15:03
To:
leetahsar
1884 of 1967

83628.1884 in reply to 83628.1882
Hey Lee, anymore interesting stories??? I but popcorn and standby liao!!!


From:
leetahsar
22-Jun 16:37
To:
xXxTripleX
1885 of 1967

83628.1885 in reply to 83628.1884
me dillydally whether to tell the gays and lesbos XXX + X encounters...
if i write...sure many will imprint me as one of those teetukongs...but me monk wannabe....NO SEX PLS...just my uncanny weird encounters with them...i do not ostracise them...i treat them like any normal pals...and they...my goodness...treat me like a piece of delicious delectable tang san chan...haahaa...;9)
shall i start one...and see how's the response like?...i got like a handful of colourful and alluring encounter...and no...my moon is still as bright as AUG 15..not adulterated...and so is my lupcheong.....my bloodhound is properly and discplinarily trained.....haahaa...;9)


From:
BabaEro11
22-Jun 17:00
To:
leetahsar
1886 of 1967

83628.1886 in reply to 83628.1881
Here is Palawan Bitch:
http://www.palawan.net/TRATTORI/palawan.htm
http://www.palawan.com/

THE TEETUS WHO WANTED TO FEAST ON ME

my cute cute big eyed niece was interrogating me one day.
"Uncle sar...how cum u dun want that indo chiobu....that rich girl who always buys presents for u?" my kaypoh cute niece asked.
"why u so kaypoh huh?" i would retort her back. "Go do ur homework and stop asking!"
"ok, lor...." she was quite offended. "u dun want her...i get somebody else for u...haahaa..." she gave me an evil snigger.
and the next day i knew...i was in msn...and many dunno who or what or where came all these teetujias, teetumah...teetukong, teetulauhankoos...and even tiny little teetukias....my god!!
CUTIE LEE!!!...u and ur joke is going too far out!!!
and that started my encounters with all the teetus in the world....coming to infest me......i talked to good ang mor teetu as far as holland...and italy..and cheena teetus from remote places i din even know...what helongjiang...zhejiang....and even henan...where i adopted a teetukia as my cheena godson....
that i had shared with u all liao..haahaa...;9)
latest update about my henan godson: he's doing very very well now in school. He has learned to come to terms with himself...and finally understand his own father's love and concern for him...after much counselling from me...of course...
and he even showed me his old man and mum in cam....so cute...and sweet little happy family...I was indeed glad i got this affinity with him.
his father even invited me over. i can stay in their humble home. both of he and his wife are miners. HENAN is a mining province. and yuan told me he won't want to end up as a miner.
so i motivated him to study hard. get good grades and maybe can win some scholarship to come over here to study....once if he able to get here, then godfather me will look after him. he is welcome to live in my pigeonhole. i got another spare room...and my weird IT FT tenant was telling me, he might be leaving for further studies in australia once he saves enough....
and speaking of my weird IT FT tenant, he now aw ka liao with me....of course lah...i look after him too like my own son....provide him with free instant noodles of all the available ones in the market...and eggs...and coffee...and fruits...and titbits...and etc...and now even vcds...and magazines...so many things..
the rent he pays only benefitted my horny lauhankoo who uses it to fuck spiders in hyaadai...regular monthly session...:(
so back to my gay encounters. there were so many...
let me start with the one who came all the way from HK....to meet me....and asked me to be his lover...my god...A HAIRY macho handsome guy in his 30s....asking me to be his ...of all things...LOVER....can u imagine.
he was msning me for a couple of weeks...and suddenly one fine day, i got an email and he told me the next day he would be here ....just to meet up with me..
true enough, he was here at my queenstown mrt station. he called and i went there to receive him and brought him all the way to my humble pigeonhole...
oh...no nothing XXX happened!..pleassse!!...me monk wannabe...NO SEX PLS!
yes...he did hint to me whether i stay alone...theoretically YES...i stay alone...but next door is my parents' pigeonhole...so like alone...like not.
he was hinting whether he could have a "good time" with me. this blur sotong initially dunno what he meant by "good time"....so he said he would love me to bonk him...oh..that "good time"...i was englightened..haahaa...;9)
and no...me just told him...CAN WE BE PALS lst??...and he was so so disappointed...and was quiet as we walked towards my blcok....a sudden change in his enthusiasm....
well, i showed him around my pigeonhole...my massive room with the massive bed which i sleep alone...and my other unit...
and we chit chat. ....and i made him my taiwanese TONG DING OLOONG CHA....and invited him to try my nearly bought I-DESIRE OSIM massage chair...and we chatted..and joked..
He told me his life story...
he told me he hated his parents especially mum....she dumped them. he got another sister...and after that his father also ran away leaving he and his older sister to fend for each other at a very tender age...AND HE HATED BOTH THE PARENTS!
he spoke with such hatred and anger...i felt sad for him....i felt his inner pain...his sadness...his lack of parental love...and..and..i couldn't help it...i just hugged him...and let him wept on my shoulder.....
i told him...he must forgive his parents....he must...cos no matter what wrong they had done to him and his sister by abandoning them...they were after all his parents who gave him life.....
and only by forgiving them, then he could lessen his pain from within...and be able to grasp his inner compassion...he wept further...poor guy...so macho...so hairy..and wetting my tee shirt....
after he had cried his fill....he thanked me....he was glad he came and found me...and so...we ended up...as pals lor...not lovers hor...PALS...good friends...
and he told me if i ever come to HK..remember to call on him...and my god!...he stays in YUEN LONG..the furthers from the city...u cross this place, it's mainland china liao...
ok...will call him...if i go HK..and so...after sipping our tea...i sent him back to the mrt...where he took to return to his hotel....
and that was my first emotional encounter with the first teetukong from HONGKong...
want some more???...haahaa....;9)
the horny CEO from jakarta...next...

response from a reader TRIPLE X

From:
xXxTripleX
22-Jun 18:52
To:
leetahsar
1894 of 1967

83628.1894 in reply to 83628.1887
Wah, U ah... So anything happened or not? Honestly did u...???
Got somemore or not? With the girls...???

From:
leetahsar
23-Jun 10:31
To:
xXxTripleX
1895 of 1967

83628.1895 in reply to 83628.1894
yes...before all this was a butch falling out of love....knocked off by another butch competitor for her gf...and her gf is one LYDIA SUM...fat..but cute...i know her too....;9)

NO..NOTHING HAPPEN!...it was tempting when people came all the way so far just to meet me up...and want my flesh...BUT ME PERSERVE...so well...CAN WE BE PAL lst has hence becomes my talisman against all these teetus...haahaa..;9)
if they really like me...we ended up as PALS lor...not bfs hor...PALS...platonic friends....me become their UNCLE AGONY....and heart to heart pals....and that's how i enter into their colorful gay world...but NO SEX PLS...me monk wannabe...haahaa...;9)

THE TEETUKONG WHO WAS ACCOSTED BY BOTAK MONK

wow!!...my retirement hasn't been so exciting until my niece CUTIE put me in msn..haahaa...;9)
i can help like one night...so many teetukongs(ttk)...and teetujias(ttj) msning me all at the same time...luckily for me, i m a lst class fast typist...and responding to so many msnes at the same was but a breeze to me..haahaa...;9)
ONE night, i got a weird msn from this ttk...he called himself BJ....no...no blowjob....just bj....ok...
poor guy! was at the brink of bankrupt....he set up his own business. but business wasn't good so he used his credit cards to get loan to tide over...and the interests alone was killing him now....it was like almost 3K+ a month....the interests alone..the interests compound from the interests accrued from the loan...my god...and his loan was like 150K!!!
poor bj!...he poured his woes to me...and asked me if i could give him some sexual relief....he joking hor???...so i blur blur started my bo liao prajnaparamita heart sutra preaching...and surprisingly.....he fell more in love with me...he called me the crazy monk JI GONG reincarnated....
after i preached blur blur to him, he said he was greatly enlightened...and i dun even know what i said...haahaa...;9)
anyway he was must happier after talking to me....and so i told him to give me his age...and my senses was tingling like anything then....and i gong gong out of the blue gave him a 4D number...i told him...buy small small...to hopefully help him tide over his next bank statement due....
and he mistook my small small....to bet on small...and precisely what he did...and u know what...HE KENA....3rd prize...SMALL...and he was estatic...!!! he kena like 5 figures!!! and thank me for asking him to buy SMALL SMALL...he bought like $50 small on the number i blur blur gave him..and he strike...SMALL...3RD PRIZE....almost 25K!!!
well...for the time being..i solved a couple of months payment for him....then he msn me diligently...everything he saw me on...
and i bo bian...and told him..that night i blur blur gave him number cos my senses was tingling like anything...and i dun propagate greed...and hope he understand...and dunno how...started preaching again to him....
and he told me...i was a buddha sent to help the gay...MY GOD!!!....no no...i told me..me no nothing...blur sotong...dun keep piling me with flatteries...i cannot tahan...!
then he told me...he actually was a buddhist...and that he knew shi min yi..the abbot of FOO HAI CHAN...and that one day he was talking to him...and suddenly this botak teetu asked him whether he was married or not...and whether he done those thing or not...how could monk talk like that leh???
he told me..that botak was hinting at him...and he scared and confused....and then he excused himself and charbuk!
and all my info about this teetu botak was from him..his mercz...his mercz car number...where he parked....and u know something...
botak loved the number 23...and every 23 of the month there would be a veggie buffet and puja at his temple......
so i asked him whether he still see the botak teetu..he said yes...but now he was more wary of his stance with him...and tried not to be tempted by him...he told bad to mix up with gay monk...very very bad luck..haahaa..;9)
and it was he who also directed to go to FOO HAI CHAN...and that's how...i knew where to hunt for the botak...but luckily when i was there, botak wasn't around...
i might make another trip there...maybe on a 23rd of the month...we shall see then...haahaa...;9)

LEETAHSAR, THE AGONY UNCLE FOR THE GAYS AND LESBOS....

BJ is a good man in his 50s and youngish looking...and after striking his 4D, he msn me every night and asked me to preach to him...what am i suppose to "preach"...i din even know i was preaching to him...
and actually in the end , he would ask me for numbers again....oh shit!!...and me started scolding him for being greedy...and this time really preached!
he sowed his causes and ended up with tons of debts as the effects...which showed he din know how to manage money...
U DUN TREASURE MONEY...MONEY LEAVES U!...i told him sternly...and that the lottery he striked was meant to tide him overly temporarily...
i fired my machine gun at him...and told him to get himself a job...the only way he could get some income to pay his next credit card dues...which was sooner than he thought...time seems to be flying these days...a blink of an eye...and it's already one year gone by!
after much firing, he was remorseful and surprisingly thanked me for awakening him to his real cause and problem...he was disillusioned...and he ended the conversation by telling me to stay on in the gay world..as an UNCLE AGONY to the gays...he said not many here are as steadfast and untempted by the lust of the flesh....well..me dunno...but looking at the numbers of people growing in my msn records....i think it's rather hard for me to stop...haahaa...;9)
so i just entertain them....so many from china...and yes...the next story i have will blow ur mind away....
i was invited to go over TORINO....remember the place in ITALY when my italian gf monica lives...the place where also they held the WINTER OLYMPIC GAMES...
now u all know where's TORINO is...and the next tale is weirder than i can imagine..this teetu stays next to my italian gf monica....my god!!!
stay tuned...the sinkie engieer who was tricked into ITALY...and now become a vessel of release for the italian gays....oooh..his blooming arsehole!!!...haahaa...;9)

THE SINKIE ITALIAN GAY GIGOLO

beng was a sinkie engineer of 29. he was an NTU graduate and one day met an 63 yr old italian working here....guess what?
they fell in love. after a couple of months of gay romancing, beng quit his high paying job. took out most of his saving and eloped with this teetulauhankoo italian to live with him in TORINO, italy....
and this begins our next funny XXX story of beng....who on reaching italian shore realised he was tricked....and now in order to survive was forced work for the teetulauhankoo italian...as a GAY GIGOLO...serving all kind of italian gays in his neighbourhood....poor beng....one fine day, i got msning from him...and here's how the story goes....
i asked him why din he fly back to sinkieland if he's unhappy there? he told me he can't cos his passport is held by his italian bf...the teetulauhankoo ang mor...
he got nothing there to do. it was very very boring to him. his bf suggested he solicit around the neighbourhood....the italians are crazy about asian i was told....
he added that i should go over and join him since i m retired. he said i made a super stud there and could easily get about 250 euros for each session..wah!...me was really flattered...haahaa...;9)
then i told him me got italian gf,monica staying at TORINO...and the address i gave him shock him. he told me it was like a few house away...and i tot a few houses means like block 1 to block 3...a few steps...
but no...a few houses mean like 45 minutes drive away..oh shit!! i was thinking in sinkie distant context...haahaa...;9)
so anyway we continued to msn quite regularly a few times a day and also during the night....he was my regular er..whiner u know...i mean he is alone in a strange country...and my goodness! he told me he was already 35 now which means he was already there like for 6 yrs......
to be cont'd.....

THE SINKIE ITALIAN GAY GIGOLO ....pt 2

beng msned me again today suddenly...it was day here but there in italy was like evening liao....

then beng asked me whether i would like to view "something"....view???....u mean the pc can see u one meh? i asked him....yes...silly...can...and so he tot me how to view him...so easily...just click ACCEPT can already...and my god...i nearly fell off my chair at what i saw!!

he let me see him...NAKED!!...dick erected...NAKED!! and next to him a very very hot bod ang mor...NAKED!!!...and also erected...
and without saying anything, i realised i was witnessing an actual live floor XXXX + X show...OH MY GOD!!!...what is the world becoming????....i was viewing a live performance of a man who was going to fuck another man....OH MY GOD!!

eek...! his dick stuck into his *yucks* mouth..and in and out...and in and out....*yucks*...GROSS!!!

then he lifted beng's thighs and OH MY GOD.....and in and out and in and out of the blackhole...goodness!!! i tot i wrote a XXX story of an orgy of HARDRCAFE...with the italians was imaginative...IT WAS NOW REAL...AND INFRONT OF ME...IN CAM...LIVE!!!

and the moaning..and oohing...and ahhing...oh my god!!!
then a loud scream...of ahhhhh...and oh my god!!!...the cums..huge loads of it....fired into beng's tummy...oh my god!!!..n the ang mor was also busy fondling beng's dick..and he also fired a big load...oh my god!!!
u know..i was squirming...and squirming in my chair as i witnessed the whole process....and yucks!...it was like watching a horror show leh...so gross!!! so...how i put it ...total indecency...not suitable for the faint hearted......haahaa...;9)

and anyay..what an experience !!!
.....and suddenly the cam was blacked out abruptly....and the msn session terminated......

later in the same day, beng msned me again...

"how was it?" he asked...

"GROSS!!" was my only answer....and he laughed. then i asked him why didn't he take precaution as i noticed they din used any condoms.
he told me that was ok. that fellow was carlo, his neighbour. he was clean, beng claimed...and he was married to a woman...NOT man...but bisexual...oh my goodness!!!

and i asked him how much did he make from that session...F O C....cos he liked him...and he was such great "lover"....!!! he told me if he encountered handsome and shiok hunks , he din charge them so that he could enjoy them again ...for free...for himself...OH MY GOD,...BENG!!!
so i told him that he wasn't really being tricked to do all those thingies...he was more or less love it...yes, he said..

then he turned gloomy....it was almost another year...it was approaching christmas. he was depressed cos usually back home in sinkieland, he would party and get lots of presents...but there in italy, he was all alone....and i tot i noticed tears welling up in his eyes...he showed himself to me in cam...and me a very very observant and detailed goon....;9)

"what's wrong beng?....i sense u r not happy..." i asked.

"yes...bob..." he hesitate in his answer." i miss home...and i miss my mum dearly.....i miss the food...i miss my sgp friends...and most...i miss my ex gf....."

"what??!!" i snapped. "YOU GOT A GF here???" ain't u gay?"

"no dear....more like bi....yes i got a gf...and i think she's still waiting for me....."

oh my god!!!...this was really getting very very complicated...and me with all my kaypoh cellls were now in full alert....;9)

he told me the good old days he was with his gf...how good he was in bed with her...(that's why she's still waiting for his return)...and it was already 6 yrs since he been there in italy...and she was still waiting......
and he missed her....the food...the friends...his mum....etc..etc..

finally he asked me about mediacorpse artistes ....Joking or not?...of all things...mediacorpse artistes...especially lee nan xing and zoe tay...joking or not??? i asked him....no he loved all those artistes...now that was a big surprise to me!

in end, he asked me whether i could send some local calenders with the chinese zodiac types...so no problem...i got many FOC...so i promised to send him...and together with it...i got a mediacorpse artistes calender and posted that along with it....

calenders were free...but hell the postage by air to italy was damn expensive...i paid almost $20 for the postage alone....;9(

he got the calenders...and thank me profusely ......now i seldom hear from him...wonder what happen to him...hope he is alright...i worry cos the last time i saw him, he was bald...he told me he was sick...

how can a sick person be bald ...unless he was undergoing some kind of chemotherapy....and i worry....cos i got a very bad feeling....he might have hit something big ...and bad...like maybe AIDS???....

i had not heard anything from there on since the last time he msned me to thank me for the calenders....wonder he is still alive or not....

choy! choy!!!....yes...HE'S ALIVE.......he still got a devoted sgp gf waiting here for his return.....i wonder why he gave me his home address, phone...and even his gf's hp...why???

like something he is hidding from me....i dun feel good...but i dunno how to get to the bottom of this...how to help him?

he's in torino thousands of miles away...me here in sinkieland...i told him to look for my italian gf...and mentioned to her my name...she should be able to help him...she's rich what...owns an ancient haunted castle u know......but i dunno...and am still waiting one day for him to msn me again...or maybe...he's already..........

er...have u all have enough???
got more u know..the indo boy who is super rich...and keep proposing to marry me....want me to be his kept man....got landed property here in bt batok...can give to me...if i agree to his term...
INDECENT PROPOSAL?...haahaa...;9)
leetahsar the goon....what other far out things i haven't encounter yet...haahaa...;9)

THE WEIRD LOVELORN INDONESIAN RICH BOY

out of the no where, suddenly i got a love letter...from a young indonesian boy...here it is:

Dear my bob,

Hello, How are you today ? I'm so glad that I can hear from you again, I have been waiting for your reply...I feel that you are the right man for me, even we haven't met each other yet.But, from my bottom of my heart told me that you are the right man for me. I believe and I trust that you are...I've never lied to you, but I don't know how can I contact you because you never gave me your mobile phone number.I look forward to meet you in Singapore, I'm going to be in Singapore in this 10th January. I'm going to stay in Singapore for more than 5 months, I'm going to stay at my own house in Bukit Batok area in Singapore and I'm going to open my travel agency in Singapore at The Heeren Building in Orchard Road area on March 2006...I really hope that we can be together forever and like each other...Do you have a boyfriend yet ?? I'm still single and waiting for you in here...Can I have your mobile phone number please ?? so I can call you and talk to you on the phone...What do you do for work ?? I do my own business in travel agency and Chinese Restaurant in Jakarta, Surabaya, Bali, Australia ( Sydney and Melbourne ),USA ( Los Angeles ), Canada ( Vancouver ), France ( Paris )and going to open in Singapore on March 2006...Please take care, don't look around and dating with others for me ok. I promise to you that I never looked around and never dating with others for you too in here, I'm in here just for you and waiting for you always my Dear...Please always be good and be faithful to me ok, I always be good and be faithful to you too in here...Please keep in touch and let's us know each other from now...I'm waiting for your reply from now..Kiss and hug you from me...Indoni

aiyoyo....like that also can???....my goose pimples will stand up...and i can faint after reading his lovelorn letter...haahaa...;9)
how would u response???

response from a reader...I KNEW IT !!!

From:
xXxTripleX
23-Jun 15:31
To:
leetahsar
1905 of 1967

83628.1905 in reply to 83628.1900
So you really like men only ah?
Too bad I'm straight, if not can intro to you...

my reply to TRIPLE X:
aiayah...that's what i was afraid....u got wrong impression about me...me monk wannabe...and now seem that more teetukongs than teetujias coming for me...i got a teetujia...she's from dalian...but just casual talk leh...u won't be interested...but the ttk...are really garang and bold...and told me things with no bar hold...
now this would be more interesting and exciting isn't it?
so u want some more...yes...me just spoken to a jilt bitch whose butch 2 times on her...she's now with another bitch...so complicated..the lesbos...but really the passion of the hearts is not so easily understood unless u r one of the lovers involved...so so colorful these people lives...haahaa...;9)
there once used to be a teetulauhankoo...i think 60+...everyday msned me..and wanna to meet me up....me was terrified...so i din response...wonder whether he's dead already or not???...er..sorry...but this teetulauhankoo emailed me his pic...my goodness!...so frail and still so horny...about man....not women...my god!!!
sorry...can't stop helping with the "my god" and "my goodness"...
this daily encounters with all these teetus are really very very far out....people can be so bold and direct...and really makes this world exciting and colourful...dun u think so?
we have white...we have black...and i was shock the grey side is really growing faster than u think!

From:
leetahsar
23-Jun 20:26
To:
xXxTripleX
1907 of 1967

83628.1907 in reply to 83628.1905

intro what to me...urself?....friends lah...ah X...pals only lah...ur mind very deviated leh...that's what i fear after writing all these queer encounters..
maybe i just stop here....so many to write actually....
there's an queer gay couple in san francisco who sent me their beautiful home...and invite me over for 3some...the husb is an US doctor...while the "wif" called butch is from HK...and they were already "married" for more than 30yrs...no joke...and still so loving...m2m.....
then there's another gay couple. a french married a viet. the viet wif butch is really macho u know...solid abs and height and body....wow lau!...i think if he's straight, the girls will drool and melt when they see him man...so handsome and suave and tall and muscular...wasted...he's a BUTCH!
and the french guy was so so romantic....both are living in belgium. they too invite me over for ...er..3some....haahaa...;9)
the butchy viet according to frenchie was a great cook...and so he's making a fortune cooking home meals for ta pau and phone orders...damn good business....
maybe i should go over and start one such business...home cooked take away meals...i believe i can cook even better...haahaa...;9)
the important thing after reading all my these queer encounters is to understand the failing of human nature....it's beyong their control...so it's unfair we ostracise them...they are also sensitive humans....and also have their self dignity and respect...

THE HORNY INDO CEO....

as usual, a window poppped up and asked me whether want to include so and so in the msn...curiously i clicked...ok...and on...the msn started....
a guy from jakarta msn me...and told me he fallen in love with me...on seeing my pic...and so we msn...for a couple of days...
then one day got an email from him telling me he was coming to see me...he was visiting his relatives in JOO CHIAT area...and this is the start of another horny encounter.....very very garang...
my handphone suddenly rang...and it was HENDRAWAN, a CEO of a luxurious watch shop in jakarta. the one who was msning me for a couple of days already.
he told me he was here in sinkieland and on his way to my queenstown mrt station. he wanted to meet me...oh great!!
another visit from a foreign teetukong...ok lor!...treat him as a pal....so off i went to the station to pick him up.
true enough he was already there....waiting anticipatingly for me....the moment i turned from the stairs, he already sensed me...or rather i sense that quite bald joker must be him...
yes! it was him already. he introduced himself and handshake me...with the teeko type of handshake i got before from that teeko italian fernando...remember him in my ITALIAN GF STORY?
he tickled me with his ring finger...and startled me...he laughed. told me he was actually a baba..a peranankan..and his relatives are babas staying in JOO CHIAT AREA... he was putting up there too.
it was chinese new year. i walked him to my pigeonhole. mum was quite shock and curious...and beckoned me..and asked how cum got so many stranger guys came avisiting...
i laughed...and told her...nothing just pals lah...and asked her to relax...haahaa...;9)
hendrawan was a nice soft spoken chap. we chatted. he told me how stressful his job was...and how lonely he was. beside working and working..it was still working...and working...nothing else....all working...and he was kinda getting sick of everything....until he saw me...and wahla..."fell in love" with me...my goodness! i was flattered....
then suddenly he got to the very personal and sensitive question. he started asking me about my experience...how big and long was my endowment...how long i could last...how many times i wank a week...oh my god!!....very personal and embarrasing question leh...
so my answer to him..CAN WE BE PALS first?....oooh!...disappointed. his enthusiasm waned...haahaa...;9)
then we continued to talk general subjects..about his works..about my daily activities...blah..blah..blah...and time for him to get lost...so i accompany him to the mrt..
since it was still the festive cny mood, i asked him whether he would love to take a stroll in chinatown. he wasn't interested instead he requested me to accompany to tg pagar...to a place called ANN SIANG HILL...
this place...i just found out was the PAN SHI TONG of sinkietown....the breeding ground of all the TEETUKONGS....my goodness....all the gays...butches...faggots gathered there...
and this goon blur blur was being led there by an indo teetukong....mati liao..!! tang san chan sent right to the teetu spirits jaws...haahaa...;9)
well, nothing happen!..really...it was just like any ordinary pub...we drank..and talked cock...and some more stranger guys joined in and talked more cock...and then..i excused myself..and siam....leaving hendrawan there to talk the night away....what happen later...me dunno...i siam..n walked all the way from ann siang hill to maxwell road to jalan jalan the cny festive sales there...
the next day, hendrawan called me to thank me for my hospitality of bring him to my humble pigeonhole...and he invited me over to jarkata...saying that i could put up with him. he stays alone in a big apartment in jarkata...
thank you...i rather stay with my indo chiobu's house if i ever go there....haahaa...;9)

A WEIRD YESTERDAY NDP PRACTICE

Yesterday being a saturday was a special NDP practice. all the groups and contigents combined to perform....
suddenly my senses was tingling when i saw my serial number 0418.... so immediately i called sibipine...
oh coincidentally weird it could get!...sibeipine was queueing to buy 4D. that was exactly why i called him...to buy 0418 for me...$1 big and $1 ibet....
7.30pm. my handpone sms rang....msg from sibeikang..."0418 2ND PRIZE..."
OH GREAT!!!.....i striked!!! 2nd prize and ibet...!!!...$1083!!!
so was a consolation for me cos yesterday ndp was damn damn shiong...from 3pm in the afternoon started....drizzling then...was slightly drenched...and the practice ended my god 10pm+ at night...no joke!!
but i was happy..even though i dozed off in the bus and missed my bus stop by a station...and when i alight, so tired i forgot to buzz my farecard....and i got to dread weary back home with the stupid 3.5kg prop over my shoulder...POOR ME!!
by the time i reached home, it was 11.30pm....:(....then i recalled i strike lottery 2nd prize...and was so happy...all my weariness forgotten...
bathed....brushed teeth...and knock off smiling all the way to dreamland...haahaa...;9)
and just collected my money...so next month grocery money...SOLVED!!!
THANK GOD!!...THANK HEAVEN...for being so generous and kind to me...to this silly old blur goon!!...haahaa...;9)

the funny thing is i acquainted with both the butch and bitch couple....and both have msn me quite often until they abrupt split up....i dunno their reason....Y only mentioned a "3rd party" intrusion.....
and that's my dear friends is only an example of lesbian affair....
completed the world is getting to be...is this gay love and gay co-habiting the next new lifestyle of the 22nd century??
i wonder....has the world change?...who is the old one we live in is being restricted by too many rules and regulations??
....do u want me to continue with my even more bolder homophobic encounters?

From:
zhihau
16-Jun 16:31
To:
leetahsar
1873 of 1874

83628.1873 in reply to 83628.1872
hmm... nothing is unusal lah, not as thou' we do not see it, it's not there. =p
homosexuality is also observed in the animal kingdom... =p if only one open one's eye and observe a little more carefully =p
uncle bob, do continue your stories. =p

THE GAYS AND LESBOS ENCOUNTERS

ok...ok...i think i better do it...dun want to procrastinate further lest i forget everything about my uncanny encounters with gays and lesbos. their way of thinking...and their finally queer sexual preferences....
let me start of with this lesbo....poor thing was dumped by her gf....and she was sad...and this was what transpired in our msn:
Bob says:
hi boy! how's everything with u?
Bob says:
let me guess u r in CC?
Y says:
lik tat lo
Y says:
ya bingo nw at cc
Bob says:
??like what
Bob says:
how...get lyn back?
Bob says:
aiyah...maybe u try getting a hunk lah...
Y is inviting you to start viewing webcam. Do you want to accept (Alt+C) or decline (Alt+D) the invitation?
You have accepted the invitation to start viewing webcam.
Bob says:
yes seeing u know..
Y says:
dunno wor
Bob says:
goodness...the light makes u look like a spirit..
Y says:
tink she not cming back liao lo
Bob says:
u r rather slim u know ...
Bob says:
and goodness pretty leh...
Bob says:
i jus saw a smile...
Y says:
hahaaaaa.......
Bob says:
yes..laughing now....
KENNY says:
where got pretty
Bob says:
ya...lah....a bit makeup here and there..u should be gorgeous chiobu...
Bob says:
how old are u ...er..girl?
Bob says:
look...up a bit..i can see ur forehead...very dark...
Y says:
30yrs old lo
Bob says:
ya...lookup...quick lah..dun be shy...
Bob says:
yes..u got high cheek bones...a beauty in disguise..
Bob says:
so why u 2 broke up...
Bob says:
and my goodness...u r a plain jane...
Y says:
got 3rd party lo
Bob says:
a bit of ici...will have the guys whistling man!!!
Bob says:
what 3rd party...a butch or a guy
Bob says:
and how can that be leh?
Y says:
is a butch lo
Bob says:
i tot both of u are so sisters...
Y says:
nw they staying 2gether ma
Bob says:
why suddenly a change of heart...
Bob says:
and what about u..got kicked out of the house?
Y says:
nope.b4 tat i hv rent hse v her
Bob says:
poor thing...
Y says:
so nw jz me oni at hme
Y says:
her heart so fast change
Bob says:
oic...and alone...
Bob says:
yes girl...the heart changes by a blink of an eye...
Bob says:
nothing is permanent here..
Bob says:
it would be best u find a hunk to love...than a bitch u fall in love...
Bob says:
can u imagine..what ur life would lead u ....when u luv a girl...say...20yrs later???
Bob says:
by then... lah..girl..u will be a lau char bo...no more coe u know...
Y says:
hahaaaaa.......
Y says:
bcme lau cha bo oso nvm la
Bob says:
so..do u think that long or not...or just for the few yards of pleasure infront of u...
Bob says:
aiyo..u very tee kee leh..when u reach there the time...dun say i din warn u in advance hor...
Bob says:
u r pretty what...quite feminine u know...
Bob says:
and in ur prime....
Bob says:
hook a golden tortoise...
Bob says:
shag him half dead...and u own his bank account liao...
Y says:
heheeeeee......
Y says:
im not so pretty ma
Bob says:
then...when u r really loaded..u go do the things u wanna lah...
Bob says:
...uncle goon hor...
Bob says:
but quite practical leh...
Bob says:
i told myself..if next life i be born again..I WANNA BE WOMAN...shag the man half dead...and own his fat bank account..
Y says:
haaaaaaa.......my papa make me smile oni
Bob says:
but seriously...dun u want a family...er...a man to really truly loves u...for the rest of ur life...
Bob says:
oh..then i be ur godfather lor...CALL IN THE MAFIA...
Bob says:
so now how...u stays alone....??
Y says:
heheeeee......u b my godfather lo
Y says:
yup alone nw
Bob says:
what about ur family...dun u stay with them..since er...now u out of job...
Y says:
but lucky my fren cme to stay v me
Bob says:
the money ...how..headache u know...when come to rent paying time
Bob says:
oh shit...another er..butch???
Y says:
yup.is butch oso
Bob says:
...i dun mean to offend...but seriously...i always pressure my sisters to get married...
Bob says:
and yes..they all get married..except the super rich one...that i m keeping for myself..SHE'S MY SUPER DUPER JACKPOT...
Y says:
daddy....act nw got other gal love me.but i cant accept her till nw cz i still love lyn
Bob says:
no lah...she's so freaking rich..i think she will be ok...and survive..she got me around what...
Bob says:
aiyo...u means lesbo 's love so complicated and gluey type one meh...
Bob says:
unlike the gays..
Bob says:
shoot bak...grab...poke...release... and good luck...game finish..NEXT TARGET...
Bob says:
and by the way...me no...me very decent..
Bob says:
and me going to be monk wannabe..so...NO SEX PLS..
Bob says:
and now ready for this..and rotfl...ready?
Bob says:
me...still...a virgin..in 24k mint condition...front and back...
Bob says:
by the way...how do u find my look?...a sotong king...a blur kind...or a ugly like fuck..lau han koo..
Y says:
haaaaa......my daddy look so gentle 1 ma
Bob says:
wait...let me show u this great swordsman pose...and standby to laugh ur guts out..
Y says:
ok
Bob says:
there...i m yang guo...
Y says:
haaaa.....where got lik a yang guo wor?
Bob says:
a fat one...lah...
Bob says:
yang guo skinny...me double the size...double the fun...
Y says:
hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....................
Y says:
daddy make me laugh oni
Bob says:
wait..who's daddy..urs or u calling me...no joke
Bob says:
so fast...
Bob says:
or u rather i be this joker here...tangsan chang...
Y says:
call u daddy la
Y says:
not joke la
Bob says:
me now hor..infested with all the teetukongs u know...
Bob says:
everyone wants a pc of my 24k mint meat...mati lah...
Bob says:
they wanna poke me..raped me brutally..suck me dried...or ask me to shag them from dusk to dawn...wow lau...all these teetus so garang...
Bob says:
or ask me to hump them...bonk them... with them...my god!!
Bob says:
so i told them..CAN WE BE PALS FIRST...and the become limp...and left me alone....never to msn me again...
Bob says:
u will be surprise...i got personal housecall from them...no joke..
Bob says:
really gave me a shock...one moment...flirting with them...the next day..they were at my doorstep...siao liao..
Bob says:
then my trademark..CAN WE BE PAL lst?...and they left disappointed..shit!!!
Bob says:
ur cc is in jb or sgp...
Y says:
in jb la
Bob says:
how cheap?
Y says:
at sg so xpensive leh
Bob says:
ya...15mins...1.50
Bob says:
like typing gold here..
Bob says:
and u din look for new job???
Y says:
still looking 4 new job here
Bob says:
does the butch behave like the teetukongs...so impatient...see..gets horny...erecting...and want to hump liao...do ur PLU..does the same pattern?
Bob says:
if i dress up...i bet i look like this fattie girl...
Bob says:
wait i change..and then u comment....
Bob says:
Bob says:
there u see...my pals told me SAM TIM HAR IS MY TWIN SISTER..
Bob says:
sum...or shen dian xia.....so related hor...
Bob says:
this my chiobu indo gf...coming to get me soon..better think of an evil scheme to dump her for good!!!
Bob says:
cannot lah...
Bob says:
me not suitable for her...
Bob says:
she's only 30...me XX....u oredi calling me godfather the mafia...
Bob says:
how to marry her...
Bob says:
people will say..IS THAT UR FATHER WALKING WITH U?
Y says:
haaaa........can marry her if ay 1 ma
Bob says:
..then how..i have to put paperbag over my head...
Y says:
haaa.....no nee la
Bob says:
cannot lah...she actually deserted me once..told me she got freaking rich indo bf...then now..dumps bf..a.nd comes for me...
Y says:
jz say v them tat is ur wife ;lo
Bob says:
or maybe kena dump...so play high class tell me she dumps him..
Y says:
heheeeee.............
Bob says:
anyway..she's young...and freaking rich u know...
Bob says:
she owns a 3 storeys spa centre in jarkata...and planning another branch..
Bob says:
father owns 2 petrol kiosks here in sgp...
Bob says:
marry her..definitely good for me...but bad for her...leh...
Bob says:
and me very piggy chauvinistic type u know..
Bob says:
ya hor...i can shag her..and her bank account is mine..then shag his father..and his is mine too..
Bob says:
and i will be rich..rich...RICCCCCCCCCCH!!!...siao liao..
Y says:
eeeeee..........can ma
Bob says:
ya why not...me still haven't used my front and back..
Bob says:
and my back is so round and big u know..my butts...swee swee like aug 15...
Y says:
a r so funny leh
Y says:
muacs
Bob says:
ya lah..if not how to cheer u up...
Bob winks:
Play "Kiss"
Bob winks:
Play "Heart"
Bob says:
it's quite late now u know...11.30pm...shouldn't u be getting home...
Y says:
eeee......ur son will love u 4ever
Bob says:
jb robber town leh...not dangerous for a petite pretty girl like u meh??
Y says:
will b going hme later lo
Bob says:
me no son...lah...no t married dear...
Bob says:
see what chow yun fatt hinting to u...
Y says:
eeee.....im ur son lo
Y says:
is godson ma
Bob says:
huh...u taking drug or what..
Bob says:
paint urself with ici..i match make u to a real goondu joker...
Bob says:
not me of course...some one else..
Bob says:
THE GAYS AND LESBIANS...are a world of illusion....very hard for any of the ideal dreams to materialise...
Bob says:
and by the time u realise it...hua er..du xie le...
Bob says:
the flower would have shrinked....
Bob says:
it's like my this popular saying...
Bob says:
EMPTINESS IS FORM....FORM IS EMPTINESS...
Bob says:
WHAT U SEE NOW IS NOT REALLY WHAT U R SEEING...
Bob says:
WHAT U R NOT SEEING..IS REALLY WHAT U SHOULD SEE...my dear...girl...!
Bob says:
prajnaparamita heart sutra...
Y says:
ya i nw a
Bob says:
if u r born...a girl...u act like a girl...
Bob says:
if u born boy ..u act like a boy...
Bob says:
if girl wants to be boy instead...she create inequilibrium within herself..
Bob says:
and that my dear...leads to suffering....
Bob says:
and vice versa...and that's why most gays die of AIDS...game over..for a moment folly of lust of the flesh...sad...u know...
Y says:
ya lo
Bob says:
and me..dunno how i got into this ...
Bob says:
i found out already...
Y says:
but wat can o wor
Bob says:
my ding niece...playing a funny joke on me...
Bob says:
she told me..if u dun marry that...indo gf...u marry a DANNY LEE...shit..
Bob says:
and she puts me up ...and that's where all the teetus now come a visiting..
Bob says:
...this girl....of mine really very cheeky ...
Bob says:
and goodness...i think i am quite hot...
Bob says:
look stupid..and blur...but hot..
........msn ended cos her cybercafe's time's up.....

WHEN A CHILD IS BORN...MYSTIC STORY OF MY DA SHI SHIONG...

Yesterday i was at the temple as most sundays i would be....
oh goodie!! da shi shiong chen ge was there too. his mercz S300 was parked there.....it's always pleasant to see him...and well, talk rots with him...so jovial...and joker...both of us!
soon chen ge started to preach our 20 words virtues. we had discussion on how to achieve all these goodness. after that the meeting came to a close. (the weekly sunday meeting is thus base on such format).
out of my bags, i pulled out 2 bottles of solid freshly juiced wheatgrass blended with CAPILANO honey and i treated everyone present to a cup.
one bottle contained the strained juice while the other with all the grounded up fibre. so happy they loved it!
soon meeting dismissed and chen ge invited me to join me for dinner...SHIOK!! FREE FOOD!!! PIGGY'S FAVORITE..haahaa...;9)
He suggested fishhead meehoon at telok ayer hc...so off i hopped into his luxurious leathered mercz...so so shiok!
inside i asked him about his family. i knew him from day one...but really didn't know much about him personally..
and now his story...my god left my agape!!

THE UNWANTED FOETUS......

chen ge was supposed to be dead. our late master told him so. his life was weird. HE SHOULD BE DEAD....he shouldn't be born and live till today and doing so well.
he's super rich now, owns a car and lives in a landed plush property. married with 2 teenage boys and a very devoted wife who's looking after his bedridden "mother".
well, not his actual mum...and our story begins........
lai ay!...buy tickets ah!!!.......we will now start our supernatural mystic journey into my da shi shiong, chen ge's miraculous life........

THE UNWANTED FOETUS.....

one day in a clinic, an advance pregnant lady came in and asked the doctor to abort her child....
she was in distressed saying that her husband had ran away with a teetujia leaving her all alone....and she couldn't fend for the unborn child.
the good doctor examined her and told it couldn't be done cos the foetus had already taken human shape. and already she was in advance pregnancy. the distressed woman went into hysteria. she cried and wailed banging her stomach with her fists. then she passed out.
the doctor noticed bleeding dripping from her thighs. my god!! code red!!
immediately he prepared to save the mother and the dangerously harmed unborn child.....
and it was with miracle that the child was born...unscathed. the good doctor marvelled at this miraculous birth.
by then the mother had awaken and was sobbing bitterly. she pleaded the doctor to adopt the baby for her. she didn't want him....
well, what to do, the doc obliged. he simply named him ah chen. a few months later, the doctor decided to give him away for adoption. to a quite well to do family in chinatown. ah chen was hence adopted by a fourth wife of a rich man.
this 4th wife was barren and already adopted a girl of 2 yrs old. the moment the old good doctor brought her the baby ah chen, she brightened up. immediately she acceded to his request and adopted this baby as her very own child.
she was a very kind lady and loved both the adopted children who soon grown up to schooling age.
the master of the house the tua teetukong...the hubby of the brood lst to 4th wifeys, would gave a lump sum of money to the notorious lst wifey who would in turn distribute the dough to every wifey.
4th wifey would send chen ge to collect the monthly allowances. due to chen ge's lowly background and uncanny birth, she despised him...and the more she hated and mocked at the 4th wifey for being barren....:(
whenever, chen ge went to collect the dough, she would throw the money mockingly on the floor. the poor boy would have to pick up all the loose notes on all 4 limbs.....such humiliation.
got one time, this was witnessed by his adoptive father. he noticed a certain vengefulness in chen ge's face. the father quietly beckon chen ge to his study room and talked fatherly to the anguish child.
"son, i m sorry ur lst mum doesn't like u and much even ur mum...." he began. "but u mustn't harbour hatred for her.....it's her character flaws...and if u harbour those hatred then u develop an evil and wickedness within u too...and that is very destructive....so son...just bear it all...treat it as a lesson in HUMILITY....FORGIVENESS...AND MAGNANIMITY...."
with those words, chen ge became a young enlightened boy liao...
later the father passed away. splitted the properties among the wifeys...and each went separate ways with their own children...just like strangers who never met...
the jealousy and competition among bitches for the selfish love of one man was beyond description....very rarely a woman would want to share her prized catch especially a rich chiohunk with another woman......that's sad to say, is the natural inborn trait of most woman.....
chen ge due to his quite premature birth was rather weakling in health...his doting mum brought him everywhere to see sinseh...but a cure could not be found. he had breathing problem....asthmatic...and sometime so serious he could just turn blue and close to death.
each time however, miraculously, he cheated death....like almost gone...and then miraculously, he recovered...this worried his adoptive mum to desperation.
in chinatown where most samsui women lived. during their rest days, the whole bunch of spinsters would gather. they would have potluck meals. drank teas. talked about their villages back home in china....and gossiped about their mistress' ill treatments or the romantic flirtings of their master.
most of them were either construction workers or amahs or mahjie as they were lovingly called.
and here was where, chen ge was destined to meet lady sifu who founded the current temple that i frequent every sunday.
sifu was then a kindly but illiterate young girl who came all the way from hong kong. in hk, she was trained and followed our sicho or the sifu's sifu......
sicho already predicted for her that she would leave her hk hometown and venture out alone into nanyang...meaning here in sinkieland...to set up this religion TIEN TAK*, expand and glorify it entirely with her own two hands.... *tien tak - heavenly principles
sifu was taught a special qigong healing method. she was very popular then in chinatown. she was quite well versed in herbalist and so treated these poor samsuipors of their aches and sickness. she was a great kind lady....and treated them free of charge. soon her name was quite wide spread and chen ge's mum heard about her and brought chen ge to consult her.
the moment she laid eyes on this boy, she brightened up. she revealed to the mother that this was a special child who should have been dead. but he survived. she requested the old lady to allow her to keep chen ge as her disciple which his mum gladly agreed.
that was how chen ge followed sifu until her death...and now help to manage the temple at balestier road.
how sifu managed to treat and fully cure chen ge...nobody really knew. i was told sifu used a special qi gong called XIAN HOK SHEN JIAM.....to treat him. most senior followers of the temple now claim they knew and mastered the technique...search me...i dunno and dun further query me about this XHSJ...me dunno...can't be bother!
......and so to date, chen ge is a happily married man...and me was awed with mouth widely opened after he related this bombastic story to me....MY JAW NEARLY DROPPED U KNOW!...haahaa...;9)
well, true or not....up to u to believe...i think it's true cos when he was relating his life story i could sense his pains and sufferings within...at time, i notice beads of tears at the corner of his reddened eyes...
only real story spurs true feeling...and true sad feeling will initiate trickle of niagra falls....
...end of chen ge's life story....what do u think?
any weirder than ur own personal life story u want to share here??

I LOVE YOU

I love you not only for what you are
But for what I am when I am with you
I love you not only for what you have made of yourself
But for what you are making of me
I love you for the part of me that you will bring out
I love you for passing over my foolish and weak traits
That you can't help but see
I love you for drawing out into the light my beauty
That no one else had loved quite far enough to find


will this words melt my indo chiobu gf when she visits me??