CAMBODIA TRAVELOGUE....CONT'D

when i finally seen almost everything, i decended the narrow steps in gostan manner and on my 4 limbs. on reaching the ground, guessed who was there to greet me?

OH MY GOD!! RUAN MIAN MIAN.....of all the people ...RUAN MIAN MIAN...she brought me cambodian delicacies...goodness! after all the walking, the climbing up and down...i was really famished....so without even thanking her, this piggy went into supping action...slurp...supp...gulp...! wah! shiok hor...!! dunno what was inside...just eat lor!!! slurp ...gulp...sup!!!

the rest of the gang was shocked and looking at me gabs wide opened. oops! forgot to leave for them...tot ruan mian mian bought for them too....NO , SHE DIDN'T...ONLY FOR ME....

anyway, we were on the road again to makan lah ...what else? i very pai seh as i was the only one who got my fill...hahahaha...pai seh...;9)

then it was to those tourist butchering attractions...and there we went again ...loading all the lup sups home again- or rubbishes like what my HKie pal tam pointed out again - ....

the next day we would head back to phnom penn as the tour in SIAM REAP is tentatively ended....of course, ruan mian mian was going back with us....and she actually had a relative here where she was putting up with....

next day, the van was waiting for us in our hotel with ruan mian mian inside the van in anticipation for me of course...and again she brought some shiok food again ...for me only, of course....

this time, i really pai seh...i opened up the package and it was cambodian native kuehs....mostly in sago and polished rice with sweet coconut, peanut or tau sar fillings. this time i shared with them. everyone happy and laughed all the way till we arrived back in phnom penn.....

...to be cont'd

From: leetahsar 16:26
To: leetahmei25 unread 1371 of 1371

83628.1371 in reply to 83628.1369

the year i went to cambodia was 2000....now is 2006...meaning my twins girls the most 6 yrs old...dun tally leh...unless they are mutants affected from the orange agent things....then maybe i got a ROUGE..AND A STORM like the X-MEN....which one u like now? how much ur dowries and ang pows huh?

and i am in the process of writing my travelogue in cambodia now...ruan mian mian is now warming up to me...but this is the jiao liao one ok (extra ingredients added story)....;9)

From: leetahmei25 15:51
To: leesiaomei unread 1369 of 1371

83628.1369 in reply to 83628.1346

mei mei, i got more good news for you. I scan Ruan Mian Mian and Papa LeeTahsar foto. You see, Ruan Mian Mian carry you and leetahsar carry me.

I email foto to korkor work in Singapore. I think we can track down our papa.

I going Singapore 10 days time to look papa.

You see, Papa will give class in gardening here.

http://forums.delphiforums.com/sammyboymod/messages?msg=94885.1

Coffee Shop Talk - FREE GARDENING CLASS BY LTS notify me whenever anyone posts in this discussionSubscribe

From: leetahsar 5-Mar 22:36
To: ALL 1 of 7
94885.1

FREE GARDENING CLASS

conducted by urs truly .

VENUE: TIEN TECK PO YUAN TONG

20, JLN RAMA RAMA OFF BALESTIER

TEL; 6253 0762

DATE STARTING: SUNDAY, 19 MAR '06

REGISTRATION NOW ON...

FEES: F O C and by voluntary donations to temple

DURATION: ABOUT 8 LESSONS...if everyone is engrossed, then it would be continued every sunday...

TIME: 3 pm to about 4 pm

CONTENTS:

1. plants propagations methods

2, anuuals and veggies growing from seeds

3. fertilisers, insecticides and fungicides

4. growing african violets ( my favorite)

5. cacti growing and creating desertscape

6. orchids

7. hydroculture - growing plants in water

8. fruit trees management

9.....may follow up field trips to botanic gardens where i would show u the very interesting things to look out for here....my territory...;9)

so lai ay....come join ah! FREE OF CHARGE AH!!!

and means i will expose myself to u...the face hor...not that part ok!

CAMBODIA TRAVELOGUE....CONT'D...

we finally arrived SIEM REAP. the hydrofoil was too heavy to berth to the jetty. water there too swallow so it stopped somewhere in the middle of the MEKONG RIVER. a long narrow sampan boat with a damn long propeller rode up alongside the stalled hydrofoil.

everyone were instructed to alight onto the thin rocking incessantly sampan. i was first one to alight. being plump and clumsy, i thought just jump chun chun on the narrow landing front plank would do the trick. so i jumped....

hell! due to my heavy body mass, the front tilted downwards. i fell backwards with my shoulder sling bag immersed into the murky water. luckily i grabbed it with my right hand if not sure lost my luggage.

the boatman was terrified and hurried forward to grab me. worst, his advancing towards me shifted more weight to the already lopsiding front almost half in water now. looked like any moment me going into the water too.

but surprise surprise!! action = reaction. just as i thought i was slipping into the water, the skinny sampan rebounded the other way round like a see saw. the tail part flipped down; the head part flipped upwards bouncing me erect on my foot. it was really comical! and this action knocked the approaching rescuing boatman off balance....and he fell into the murky water instead of me...i was now standing upright as though nothing happened...hahahahah....;9)....

after a brief struggling in water, the boatman was up into the rocking sampan...and the rest of the passengers seeing this incident avoided our sampan. in the end, we had the entire sampan which could take about 20 people all to ourselves...blessing in disguise...courtesy from this comical goon...hahahahaha...;9)

the super speed skinny sampan in no time brought us to the muddy flat riverbank where everyone hopped out. there a cambodian guide was waiting for us....

before we hopped into a waiting van, he cautioned us in a dead serious tone: "PLS do not wonder off untracked pathways....got hidden mines not dug out yet....here we have the most amputees in the world...so pls don't anyhow ventured out in unmarked territory....'

after that brief, solemn and intimidating pep talk he took us to makan....then to our hotel where we rested.

once inside the hotel room, i opened my bag. oh shit!! tonnes of river water with a few ikan bilis flowed out.....all my undies were wet..that time...no ck briefs ...only china-made super absorbent SWAN panties....and they were really soaked...with some tiny ikan bilis....hell! how i knew what kind of tiny little fishes are those!! sticking all over my cotton briefs and other clothings.

i hung everything out to sun and dry lor...and hell! the sun here was really hotter than ours back home....

after wash up and a quick nap, the tour guide's van arrived. off we went to ANGKOR WAT.....

the guide brought us to some ulu pasar malam where they sold mostly craft works like straw hats, bamboo flutes, cravings, etc....being a damn hot day, i bought bamboo flutes and a pair of straw hand weaved hats...4 items for only US1...so cheap hor.... i gave the extra hat to rainbow and goodness we looked like a cowboys couple......and made the children who sold it to me so so happy...like i kena ketok already...maybe they mean in DONG.....their local useless currency....and i think US1 = 1000 dongs...something like that.....so maybe it was 10 dongs...and i gave US1....no wonder they were laughing like kena lottery like that...hahahahah....;9)

finally...finally we were at the fame mysterious ANGKOR WAT. here we were standing and already awed by the majestic entrance of this palace/temple of once a grandiose dynasty ruled over cambodia....it was really beautiful and awesome.

a concrete hand cut stone path led up to the main entrance. there was a moot below surrounded by water and was supposed to be infested with crocodiles...the palace was in the middle of a huge water lilies and lotuses pond where many funny scary creatures like crocs lurked.

we entered the first segment of this intricate palace....the main features were stone handcrafted heads of the 4-faced buddha which the guide explained in mandarin were not real buddha. they were rather the watcher and guards to the buddha...

everywhere in this now dilapidated palace, there were this 4-headed craved out figures.....and most were already infested with either lichens or mosses...they were really a few hundreds years old already....

then there were ancient ficus trees which roots grown into the hand crafted boulders which built up this palace...and in a way, the roots held the boulder in place otherwise they would just crumple away in a heap of rubble.

there were different "rooms" here and there and most occupied by a statue of the buddha or multi-arms lord siva...an influence from hindi. unfortunately, most were headless. we were told their heads had been robbed and show by thieves. some even had all their arms chopped away to be sold off...sad..:(

we were told that the ancient cambodian princess married an indian hindi prince and hence the cultural designed and religion of this place was so like hindu sculptures in india.

monks were everywhere inside there asking for alms...and many peace loving cambodians willingly offer their modest donations generously though poor themselves in terms of money or food or flowers. in return the monks blessed them by sprinkling holy water over the devotees' heads....

then we came to the king lodge. it was on a very high level. to get there we had to climb up a very steep again hand crafted narrow stone stairs....and off i started climbing using both hands and feet. u couldn't walk up erect due to the narrowness. u do that, sure u will roll down and break a neck!

....to be cont'd

CAMBODIA TRAVELOGUE.....cont'd

i am puzzled until today u know....can some one tell me : could we set alarm clock...especially ur alarm clock is a rooster...

COCKADOO.DOOD..DOOO!!! 3.30am. rooster alarm woke us up...so surprise! how cum rooster knew we were chasing 5am hydrofoil ferry...

everything for breakfast was laid on the table for us. RUAN MIAN MIAN made congee. she offered me one special large bowl...with something extra inside...omg! hardboiled turtle eggs....power to the john!...the rest only tiny quail eggs...

after a real hearty meal, ah chew was waiting at the mpv ready to send us to the jetty for the river cruise. ruan mian mian offered to carry my little luggage...and she stuffed something in...dunno what...din observed much really ...cos eyes were still a slit and half sleeping...

the morning crisp air was fantantic! so different from us here. really the type that could re-vitalise the soul...was quite awake now and hurriedly hopped onto the waiting ferry. ah chew who tried to be clever took a wrong short cut turn that ended into a long cut instead.

everyone of us rainbow, michael, thomas, tam, sam, eric and me all settled ourselves to our allocated seat. instead of enjoying the river sights, the whole bunch dozed off.....

about an hour later, i awoke. i remembered ruan mian mian stuck something into my shoulder sling bag. i checked. goodness! so thoughtful of her. she made sandwiches for me. well, the rest of the gang got to buy their lunch abroad while lucky me just sup the damn shiok sandwiches...hahahaha....;9)

then i and the boys, sam and eric climbed up the ferry to its rooftop to enjoy the river breeze and the beautiful tranquil river sceneries....many ang mors were also up here lazing so carefree on the rooftop....sipping beers.

there were wooden huts on stilts...like a kelong except smaller and dotted all over the river....then wah lau eh! naked women bathing just like that...and naked men too...and naked children...and omg! naked lau nee por (sagging breasts) of old ladies doing that too...it was such an innocent sight to behold! they just squatted around a floating wooden platform and bathed themselves merrily away ignoring the passing hydrofoil. the children however was friendly and excited. they waved and yelled at us....smiling and laughing away...an indeed childhood reminder of myself in my kampong days.......

.....to be cont'd

From: leetahsar 13:53
To: postnew 1364 of 1371

83628.1364 in reply to 83628.996

a kiss is but a kiss...it's what that's in ur mind that think it's not a simple kiss....

a kiss from leetahsar...is as innocent as a newborn babe....it's an appreciation to u....my dear du di....;9)

i kiss the sick...the healthy....the children...the adults...the girls ....the man...the chiobu...the chiohunks....the lau huay...the lau hans....the pretty...the ugly.....the shiny skinned type...the gall infested type....

A KISS IS BUT A KISS....IT'S WHAT THAT'S GOING ON IN UR MIND....ornitoufu to u.....;9)

cambodia travelogue....cont'd...RUAN MIAN MIAN

after the queer dinner of exotic meats, everyone was damn full and ah chew drove us back in thomas' mpv....

all were tired and we hit the shack the moment we reached the bungalow.

CUCKADOODOO!!...Ya, we were awaken not by the alarm clock but by a proud rooster that kept screeching damn loud.

our bodyguard cum driver was now also the chef. he made a simple breakfast for everyone. there were eggs...plentiful. thanks to our cock with his brood of chiohens and chicks. so the breakfast was boiled eggs, scrambled eggs, poached eggs, sunny eggs....all eggs with bread and butter and tea or coffee or milk....

after that, we headed out to the vast garden. so many fruit trees but the one that caught our eyes was a mango tree loaded with elephant-tusk mango. without further ado, we grabbed a pole with an attached bag and started to pluck the big tempting mango.

it was such fun....and it sort of brought me back through time when i was a kampong boy in BANSIEWSAN.....

From: leetahsar 10:16
To: postnew 1354 of 1371

83628.1354 in reply to 83628.1352

in that case i call u wo xin or heartless for treating sifu thus....;9(

then michael arrived in his mpv - a toyota 7 seaters picnic. both he and thomas hurried us to change cos bringing us to a damn shiok hotel INTERCONTINENTAL HOTEL to sup tim sum.

everyone was real excited and in a jiffy all ready to go.

it was a beautiful hotel in a luscious natural setting and was told it was the similar one operated by sinkieland.

we took a lift all the way up the highest floor to savour our damn shiok tim sum - HK STYLE. as it was cny period, after settling the bill, the captain gave us each and ang pow. no joke! inside there was 100 dong - the currency there....useless one worst than rupiahs! 100 dong is like only 5c S$.

after the makan, ah chew drove us to a very retro market...sorry forgotten what's the name...it was supposedly a russian railway station i was told....and now converted into a market...the design kinda looked like our LAU PAR SA except it was many times bigger and crowded.

michael and thomas went back to their daily works leaving us with chew. chew warned us not to give any money to beggars who were abundant there. he stressed if we started giving alms hor...many would start flocking to us like bees to honey...and some of them might start pickpocketting from us. so our alert on our wallets was on....

true enough. amputee beggars were many there. young and old .....and surprising all males. before the entrance to the market which consisted of many entrances N, S, E, W, there were a stall with a few opened baskets display. guess what they were selling?

INSECTS...MY GOD! INSECTS!!! fried chilli locusts, crickets, deep fried scorpions, worms (??), silkworms larvae,...and the most interesting black scary boiled water beetles.

i was wondering how cum all over the ground there were insects shells...the exo-skeleton of the beetle wings....now i got my answer. i observed how the ladies ate the water beetles. they prised open the 2 large hard wings, broke it, threw in on the ground and crunch the insect like peanuts....no joke! made my tongue really stuck out!

yes...u guess it...this greedy piggy went there to try a bite on every insects except the water beetle. sampled only din buy...hahahaha...;9)

there were alot of stuffs they sold there. precious gemstones, silver stuffs, brass statues....etc...the one that caught rainbow and our eyes were a funny looking "tricks" jewellery boxes made out of rosewood...damn cheap only US$3. the box was designed into different animals of the horoscope and to open it, really must crack ur mind. it was really complicated opening up the box which revealed different sized mini compartments inside...

next was the brass small figurines which was like only 7 pcs for US$1 and the ebony carvings...wow! that i loved. i bought a black ebony GANESHA - the hindu elephant god. was told that the ganesha they carved out was very special cos his nose tilted right instead of left....or was it the other way round...anyway such directioned nose mean more power to the statue....i gave that to my 2nd sis...and she like me always strike lottery..she strikes means i strike...cos she pay commission to me saying her luck has never been so good after i gave her that GANESHA which fyi is also the hindu version of GOD OF FORTUNE....

after much shopping, everyone was packed to the neck with all the charpalang stuffs bought. rainbow and her 2 sons, eric and sam bought so much like they could pai tong (set up stall) when they returned to HK...hahahaha...;9)

....to be cont'd

when all our shopping was done, gosh! time really flies when u were enjoying urself!

chew came to look for us and told us that thomas and michael were waiting for us at the bungalow for dinner. we were supposed to go back asap to prepare.

anyway we had done most of the shopping...and we went back....

on reaching home, there was a young jambu lady who greeted us....she was RUAN MIAN MIAN.....(THUNDERSTORM?)...no lah...not yet lah.

RUAN MIAN2 caught this chiohunk here...and vice versa. alamak! like got sparks flying out u know...hahahaha...;9)

michael had sent RUAN MIAN MIAN over to be our "maid". u know to wash our laundry, do the cleaning...and maybe to cook supper if necessary...especially this piggy here need food almost every hour...hahahaha ...;9)

RUAN MIAN MIAN approached me bashfully and tried to carry my stuffs to my room. our hands touched...and THE HILLS ARE ABLAZED ....WITH SOUND OF MUSIC....i liked almost heard julie andrews blasting out this song....hahahha...

RMM's faced turned pinky...omg! mine turned red...like the char siew piggy...we blushed...looked at each other big round gazing eyes...blushed some more.....:)

...to be cont'd

From: leetahsar 5-Mar 12:51
To: leetahmei25 1345 of 1371

83628.1345 in reply to 83628.1344

hold on a second? leetahmei25*......shit! it's u kei75 right....u r not mei25...all the 5...is it u??

dun drive sifu kuku lei? i m now a blur sotong swimming in circles u know....;9(
From: leesiaomei 5-Mar 11:38
To: leetahmei25 1346 of 1371

83628.1346 in reply to 83628.1340

Dear JieJie Leetahmei25,

im sooooo happy u managed to find me instead.PAPA Leetashar refused to acknowledge us as his flesh n blood!!!im already so heartbroken oven MAMA untimely death yet due with another big blow!!!!just bcos i spell his name incorrectly he denied we are his children!!!!!!!!!what should we do in order for him to acknowlege us and ''huan'' MAMA yi ke qing Bai!!i didnt know MONK WANNA BE have to be a "virgin".ANYWAY HE WASNT ONE LONG TIME AGO.............SINCE HE FATHERED US.........................................................................

From: leetahsar 5-Mar 23:51
To: leesiaomei 1347 of 1371

83628.1347 in reply to 83628.1346

BUT I AM INNOCENT....!!!! OH MY MERCIFUL BUDDHA!!!

HOW HUH???

From: BabaEro11 09:39
To: leetahsar 1350 of 1371

83628.1350 in reply to 83628.1347

Pare, you can forget to be a monk.

Never knew you have twins daughters. So big already.

How can you claim to be a virgin when you have twin daughters? Maybe your twin daughters are still virgins.

From: leetahsar 09:46
To: BabaEro11 1351 of 1371

83628.1351 in reply to 83628.1350

pare, maybe hor...just maybe only lah...dun angry....

U CAN ALSO BE MY SON U KNOW....I MEAN I FIRED SUUPER SPERM MISSISLE ...AND POP, U DROPPED OUT...AND FED U WITH SUPER FAST GROWING HORMONE...and here u are....my long lost son too...

a goon talk, dun be offended ok......;9)

From: postnew 10:03
To: leetahsar 1352 of 1371

83628.1352 in reply to 83628.1349

what wo kong..?

kong your goondu head..

From: leesiaomei 4-Mar 16:06
To: leetahsar 1337 of 1371

83628.1337 in reply to 83628.1330

Dear Leetarshar,

i noe AH KONG LAU HAU KU is a super powerful missiles shooter!!LIKE FATHER LIKE SON!!U INHERITED HIS CANNON without realising it!!!

On that lei dian jiao jia wan siang cant u remeber a anything at all???jie jie and me are twins frm ur powerful missiles!!we are born minutes apart frm each other!!!!!!those wines u guys bought to cambodia contains very high alcohol contains!!!as i heard frm auntie lucy!!u were already smiling n singing the whole nite!!!and could tell u were drunk!!!i guess at That time u already forgotton ur dream to be a monk and even forget ur own name!!!

how i wish mama can get up frm her grave n tell u straight in the face we are indeed ur daughters!!!!so many yrs have passed!and u dun even remember a single thing on that fateful day!!!we are ur creations with MAMA!!!!

From: leetahsar 4-Mar 16:50
To: leesiaomei 1338 of 1371

83628.1338 in reply to 83628.1337

TIAN AH....!!!! *TOK TOK TOK TOK...CHENG...CHENG CHENG....**(opera drumming sounded...)

this cannot be happening to me....may the mercy of buddha be on me....!.....


confirmed! u r not my girl...u addressed to ....I M LEETAHSAR....it must be the other guy...the monk in BROKENECK TEMPLE....he's identical to me...

can u please go look for him...and pls be careful of that botak...oopss...forgot...if u r boy boy...u be careful. since u girl girl ...u r quite safe

so...shoo!...go look for the other botak...HE'S UR OLD MAN!

From: leetahmei25 4-Mar 18:03
To: leesiaomei 1340 of 1371

83628.1340 in reply to 83628.1337

mei mei, Im jie jie. I find you now. I so happi n sad to hear Ruan Mian Mian passed away. Mei mei, good news. todae hospital tel me our DNA match the stains in the old cotton underpant Ruan Mian Mian preserv in the bag.

Leetahsar is our papa.

From: leetahmei25 4-Mar 18:04
To: leetahsar 1341 of 1371

83628.1341 in reply to 83628.1338

Papa, why you dont recognise us? Mei mei and I are twins. Our DNA match your underpant stains.

From: leesiaomei 4-Mar 21:01
To: leetahsar 1342 of 1371

83628.1342 in reply to 83628.1338

did u ever been been duped into cloning??or else how could there be anyone who look extactly like u??im sure u are my birth father,why are u soooo heartless for not willing to admit me as ur long lost daughter!!!!!!!!!!and jiejie is somewhere out there waiting for u too!!!

u are just a monk wanabe not a real monk of course u are my father!!!!

From: leetahsar 5-Mar 12:48
To: leesiaomei 1343 of 1371

83628.1343 in reply to 83628.1342

???B L U R ???


From: leetahsar 5-Mar 12:49
To: leetahmei25 1344 of 1371
83628.1344 in reply to 83628.1340

???B L U R ???

lagi blurrer???

THE ANGER WITHIN US

anger is a very negative force that makes a person immuned to his own compassion....in other words, it kills ur supposedly warm compassionate heart....

i had written once before...WE MUSTN'T LET DEAD PUSSIES OR HOUNDS affect the live ones....FOR THEM, IT'S ALREADY GAME OVER....but the living still need to live...and live it well and happy...

whoever dies...s/he already ended all the bad karmic relationship with u...IT'S GAME OVER for s/he. but urs...the living one has yet to write ur life story....u can be sadistic and ends it will sulking and suffering forever after...which sadly is the usual case most people here do...:(

OR....u can end it...living and enjoying happily ever after....like what this goon does...:)

that's why i said ONLY THE LAND WITHIN OUR HEART ROTS...wherever u can be ...it's actually a heaven....

it's ur mentality at looking at things...heaven and hell is within the person at the same...it's up to him to choose.

pls forgive me...but from where i sense u...u r blaming the whole world except urself....

if u can just calm ur egoistic mind...and return to ur compassionate heart...u will realise...everything will open up and reveal itself to u....u will understand...not the world is at fault...but u urself...u can't accept the things that are happening around u....

but once, u embrace that compassion within u...everything will feel so light...u must learn to let go...and kuah puah...and the darkness in u will shine brightly again...

PEACE BE WITH U....

*....humble golden words from this goon called leetahsar....onitoufo to u....:9)

and suddenly out of the blue, this posting came:
From: leesiaomei 4-Mar 03:44
To: leetahsar 1329 of 1371

83628.1329 in reply to 83628.1311

Dear Leetashar,

Mama name is Ruan MianMian.Im indeed ur long lost daughter .the nite was tian da lei pi(raining cats n dogs)MAMA N AUNTIE LUCY was being hosts to u guys and was drinking alot of beer!!!!then THUNDER STRUCK!!!!Me and jiejie was ur creation !after nite of passion!!!!!!cant u remember a thing at all???fancy MAMA still calling out ur name when she was breathing her last breath!!!!!u really cant remember anything at all????????????????????????????????????????????

MY REPLY:
CHOTTO MATTE!!! HOLD ALL UR HORSES!! u mean u got another jiejie....hold on...hold on...!! this is getting very confusing...i only went once to cambodia...how can there be 2 of u?

OH MY GOD!!! DUN TELL ME....RUAN MIAN MIAN FIRED OUT 2 GIRLS......TWINS!!!

TIAN AH....I AM INNOCENT 我 是 冤 惋!!!!

HELLO...AH MEI...u r not one of my godsons ...playing a joke on me hor....? cos i can sense one u know...i can tell who u know dun pray pray hor...I SUE U THEN U KNOW HOR....to ruin my monk wannabe dream....:9(

NB: i dun drink alcohol...i only sip a bit of red/white wine...

From: leetahsar 21:26
To: God's Ultimate Weapon (QuanHuang) unread 9 of 9

94570.9 in reply to 94570.6

{I sure would love rotting islands if I were a visitor or a foreigner :)}

the rotting is within u...not the island where u are a visitor....

like for me, a backward place like cambodia....is also heaven to me....ornitoufo....

whatever rots we feel that's happening around us...is actually our own rots. it mirrors onto the sight we are seeing...and we scorn, mock and laugh at it...when the rots is actually within us....

emptiness is form...form is emptiness...

what we thought we have just seen is not we are seeing...and what we thought we are not seeing is actually what we should be seeing....

use ur compassionate heart to think; dun like ur egostic brain tricks u into an illusive dream...

ornitoufo...humble words from the goon...

Coffee Shop Talk - every land is good except the one within Subscribe
From: leetahsar 2-Mar 13:52
To: ALL 1 of 6

94570.1

every land is good...what's bad is the land inside our hearts....the land of no compassion, no mindfulness,....land of envy, land of mischiefs.....everything except a piece of land within which we can truly call HEAVEN ON THIS LAND....OUR COMPASSIONATE HEART....ornitoufo....humble words from this golden goon....

finally the small cambodia airline hit the tarmac road of cambodia airport. it landed with a terrible screehing. rough landing.

the hatched door opened up. we alighted. hell! this was like our ancient sinkietown paya lebar airport. no shelter walkway. it was damn hot and open and we had to walk quite a distance in the sun to reach the custom.

once there, rainbow told us each to give US$10 to the custom to speed up our processing of passports so that we could F off from here.

NOTE: CAMBODIA POLICE - THE AUTHORITY WERE ALSO THE HIGHWAY ROBBERS. everything must be bribed if not they give u problem and make u suffer pain pain....which explained the US10 bribe each to the custom. we had a smooth passage where we exit the airport to a waiting mpv.

there the driver, ah chew greeted us. ah chew for ur info doubled up as our bodyguard. dun pray pray hor...this blur kaypoh goon for nothing go open the dashboard cabinet...and out popped several kinds of guns...yes guns...big magnum and pistols...like got 3. another one dunno what.

i was shocked. i looked at chew expecting an explanation. "sorry sir! this cambodia...not sinkietown...any moment there can be political unrest..." chew explained. good! that was exactly what i need to hear for an "exciting" and fearful stay....:(

the whole wide road was in such a messy activites invaded by haphazard motorbikes, scooters, bicycles...and even bullock carts....my god!! chew was a damn good driver. he snaked in and out of those pesky bikes who to my surprise could even sit the whole family of 7 persons...first time i saw such acrobatic "mpv" bikes.....hahahaha..

finally we reached thomas' residence. it was like in a funny street called MAO TSE TUNG ROAD...or something like that...a few house away to his big bungalow was sinkieland embassy...US embassy, japan embassy...etc...all the embassies located on this road.

thomas' first word was a warning and instruction: "If anyyhing bad happen hor, pls everyone run to the embassy a few houses away....dun pack...just run hor...remember huh!!" he said in in such solemnly seriousness....

everyone dropped their luggages, bathed and rest for a while and tried to get use to this humongous house. the room i shared with tam was bigger than my pigeonhole flat back home. no joke! some more there was an attached toilet which was the size of my hall with a bath-tub i think i could swim in it!

everyone rested, we changed and headed for makan. ah chew drove us to a funny looking restaurant by the road.

it was ok...like those in matland type...very retro type with big round table like can sit the whole village kind.

michael, the hubby of rainbow, started placing order. One double boiled turtle whole. 3 flying foxes in garlic and special sauce. 3 squirrels deep fried. 1 toman steamed in special sauce again. half curry rabbit. fresh water giant prawns - the one with pincers type. 4 monitor lizards drumstick braised. one piece giant python shredded meat with veggies.

then michael asked whether we would like appetitiser....me blur blur asked what they had....DEEP FRIED LOCUST. BRAISED CRICKETS, bbq cicada larvae, deep fried scorpions....spiders...their brand name dish...tarantula goreng with special prawn paste sauce....

yucks! skip!! skip skip skip!!!

.....shiok!! all the exotic dishes....damn shiok! the turtle soup was my favourite! flying foxes as i was chewing one piece, i spitted some funny things insides.....my god! iron pellet...u know they used a shotgun to kill the fly foxes...and some of those tiny pellets were still in their dead carcass...yucks!!

squirrels...damn shiok!! tasted like chicken meat. the steam toman in garlic, wow! damn damn shiok! the curry rabbit tasted abit funny...a kind of strong aroma from the meat. the shredded python meat with veggies...good like anything....monitor lizards drumsticks...surprising like chicken meat leh.....

overall....SHIOK KA BEI HIAO SHIOK!!! (damn damn shiok!)

....to be cont'd

THE DAUGHTERS OF LEETAHSAR....

......fiction hor, me still golden virge in mint condition

out of the blue, thunder striked...i got a knee jolting email from someone called leesiamei. she claimed to be my long lost daughter from...of all places - CAMBODIA.

yes, lovely beautiful cambodia. i was there once with my best hk pal. his brother was posted here to handle the logging of trees. and they needed a horticulturist...namely me.

off i went to meet up my hk pal in hk where he returned there every year like migratory bird. he had already migrated to vancouver with his family. in hk, he still had a flat.

he had asked me to join him there saying that his brother, thomas wanted to meet me to discuss employing as the horticulturist overseeing the vast piece of virgin jungle where logging was then taking place.

i met tam, my best pal for almost 25 yrs liao in hk CHEK LAP KOK AIRPORT. He had aged. me ....funny not a day. he was very surprised to see me in my 25yrs old pattern.

"Bob...u r BOB, right?!!" tam asked the moment he saw me exiting the custom.

"tam! can't u recognize me?" i was a bit shock he asked.

"but u din age a day.....u r the same fattie i met 25yrs ago in Botanic garden college in sinkietown...." tam was astonished how youthful ...er...and fat i was.

"yes dear tam...me lah...the fat boy Bob...what u expect?" and we hugged and pat each other backs...it was been a long time....the last time i was staying with him in vancouver for like months....where me and his whole family went to Kewlona to pluck cherries, peaches and apples..that would be another of my travelogue tale...REAL ONE HOR...

first thing first. he brought me to buy a MTR FARECARD...very important. after that we exited the airport, boarded a bus which took us all the way over CHING MAH KEOW (the suspended bridge that linked lantau island where the airport is located to HK island)....

it was a long ride. soon we alighted at CAUSEWAY BAY. so touching that tam. he insisted on carrying my lagguage. by the way, only one small bag. and me carrying all the ting ting tang tang gifts of plastic bags. i got kilos and kilos of bak kwas....pork, beef and ostrich. he loved sinkietown bak kwas (the sweet bbq meat).

after a short walk we reached an apartment. up the lift we went to the flat which transformed into a service kind of apartment.

opening the door to greet me was Kwong Tai...the lau auntie owner of the premises. she was hokien...goodie ka di lan (own people). she led us to the room she had prepared in advance for us..

properties by the way in CAUSEBAY is damn expensive. this is like our ORCHARD RD here. a very conveniently located service apartment.

it was chinese new year then. the moment kwong tai saw me, i wished her KONG HEI FATT CHOY...and she Kong back to me..and presto! she gave me ang pow....no joke! of course, as instructed prior to my arrival by tam, i handed kwong tai one of my plastic bag of bak kwa. she was so happy....

after i had settled down, tam get into serious business. he had booked for me a ticket to PHNOM PEHN, CAMBODIA, 2 days from now. we are going together with his sister-in-law, RAINBOW and her 2 sons, SAM and ERIC.

RAINBOW'S hubby, MICHAEL was also in cambodia running a garment factory. tam's elder brother, THOMAS was also there handling the logging operation and export to canada.

HK this time of the year during chinese new year is freaking cold. the northern cold wind blew down from china was really freezing....and because of the cold, we had hk styled steam boat.

i also enjoyed the different kinds of snake meat thrown into a big pot. but the most interesting one would be the hotel buffet. my goodness! damn long and so many things to wallop.

tam also brought me to VICTORIA PARK where there was cny sales carnival...there were so many stores selling those kittycats that sinkie fought over for it during the macdonald's promotion...there it was so cheap. like only a pair for HK$20..any pair including the millenium one. and there were so many cute cute ones we dun have it here. of course i bought cos the sisters were also crazy over these cats.

for 2 nights, i spent hours and hours here. so many things to see and buy. all damn cheap. tam was unhappy and complained that i was buying la sup (rubbish)!

soon it was the day to depart to cambodia with RAINBOW, SAM and younger brother ERIC....

and off we flew to cambodia...here we come!

and i had to clarify with jixiaolan:

but I AM REALLY INNOCENT....SOME JOKER PLAYING PRANKS ON ME...never mind...i already sensed who was it .....must be sibeikang...joking on me...cos i wrote too much about his teetujia....and wifey now knows about it....

but wifey now steady poon pee pee...very obliging liao....and closes one eye...already i had cleared their triple misunderstanding between sbk, cjg and ttj....and i think and hope the 3 jokers are now good pals...but hopefully they dun start to be so good...they ve regular threesome orgies...hahahaha...;9)

so i reply her lor...*scratching my head*:

From: leetahsar 16:40
To: leesiaomei unread 1309 of 1323

83628.1309 in reply to 83628.1308

THUNDERSTORM....!!!!BRUMMM...BRUMMM...!!

LIGHTNING FLASH....!!! FLASH....!!!

冤 惋 啊！！！

yes, i had been to cambodia but it was for tree hunting not mei mei spider hunting...mei mei there eat spiders for snacks...me not really that horny type....

who's ur mum...oh my god....dun tell me...u r...u...r...ruan mian mian's daughter....sorry ...ur mum and me...only good friends....did we did anything? give me a few days i goston to the time i met ur mum...

goodness new story going to start soon...lai ya! lai ya! get ur ticket to the next exciting story....

DID LEETAHSAR GOT LAID BY RUAN MIAN MIAN IN CAMBODIA?.....

PS. i ledi dunno who this leesiaomei who claims to be my long lost daughter...anyway...she just inspired me to a new kay liao (extra ingredients added) story for my cambodia trip which let me rewind...and compile...be back soon...buy ur tickets hor....see u in a while...jialat....was i being raped by ruan mian mian....when she poured me those ???toddy???

From: leetahsar 16:55
To: leesiaomei unread 1311 of 1323

83628.1311 in reply to 83628.1308

>

auntie lucy...?? is her real name lu luc chee..the one with the bosom as big as the cow's udder?

pls girl....dun anyhow ruin this monk wannabe...if u said like that means...my monk dream is over liao...jialat...r u sure u r my er...daughter???

i couldn't remember bonk any mei mei...or being laid by any mei mei...the only one i knew is ruan mian mian...is she ur mum?....mati...u r making me blur like a sotong now going in circles leh....

pls leh...not every guy with a moustache is ur father, man...can say properly or not.....;9(

我 現 在 跳 進 黃 河 也 洗 不 掉！！！
translated: I JUMP INTO THE HUANG HO RIVER ALSO CAN WASH AWAY MY INNOCENCE......;9(

and my good diciple jixiaolan lupped me another kick to my groin...ouch!
From: 纪晓岚 (jixiaolan) 18:08
To: leetahsar 1319 of 1323

83628.1319 in reply to 83628.1317

Should be 你現 在 跳 進 黃 河 也 洗 不 清了！！！

Golden virgin ! ! ! Phui ! ! !

Mr Lee Tah Sar - 名誉扫地

and out of no where i got this mysterious postings to me claiming that the writer is my "long lost daughter"...oh my god! what else is going to happen to me next??

From: leesiaomei 12:28
To: leetahsar 1308 of 1323

83628.1308 in reply to 83628.1299

Dear LEETAHSAR,

I HOPE U WOULDNT BE SHOCKED BY MY Mail.Im Leesiaomei frm cambodia,IM YOUR DAUGHTER .i had a hard time trying to locate u after MAMA died .lUCKILY HEAVEN TOOK PITY ON ME and i managed to find Auntie lucy and she told me the last time she heard frm ppl that u are in spore.i pray n pray that i can fulfilled mum's wishes to find u and acknowlege u as my father!!!Jiejie Leetahmei is still in cambodia and i cant find her yet!!!we were so poor and mummy had no choice but to give jiejie up for adoption.FRm there we dun have contacts with her anymore. it has been so many years and since i can find u i hope that we can find jiejie too!!Pls PAPA LEETAHSAR,PLS REPLY ME .



YOUR LONGLOST DAUGHTER

UPHEAVAL APPROACHING AT 12 'O CLOCK.....

I c n p the latest email from my indo chiobu....looks like the freaking rich indo bf planning to dump her...and now she's like heading this way back for me...jialat!! HELPPPP!!!....

my dearest booob......

haha..haa....you always knw how to say things in such a way taht ppl jz have to agree with you. well, that's very true...therefore I look for you for advice, yes? :)

Abt my indo bf, thank you for all the things you wrote, but Booboo, tell you the truth, I'm feeling hurt inside me seeing him treating me this way....he didn't call or text me for almost two weeks...& for the time he was treating me so nice & made me having a hope on him...he knew that I care so much for him. I feel very lausy...really. I dunno how to describe the feeling I have now to you but I'm thinking to drop him. How can I put so much hope on a guy that dun even give me any form of care or attentions?
Like you said, it shld be both ways rite? he has all the rite to consider or to choose since he's bloody rich but he doesn't mean he can jz play with ppl feeling rite?

It's my fault b000boo...that';s why I got hurt again. I thought he is worth all the effort but sad to say he never even find time to knw me better, how can he see all the good in me to match him? Bro, you told me all the rite things but here I'm struggling to cope with ppl that so inconsiderate....I'm so restless.
am i rite to say, If a guy really interested in a girl, he'll try to do any kind of things to knw her better plus dating her out rite? I accept now that he doesn't have the same feeling like I have so forget it then. we can't force things to happen, can we?
I jz need somebody that knw how to treasure me, honest & be responsible in whtever he does. money is something B0obooo, but surely not everything. We'll see wht happens ok. I'll update you on that.

In the meantime, I dun care whether you are retire with no income, to me you are always my BoBoo as well as my best friend. those things shld be the last thing that you need to worry, ok Booboo?

Take care & miss you alot......*kiss, kiss..hug hug*

LEETAHSAR MEETS LEETARSAH.....

what am i suppose to do? tarsah thought to himself....hell! join them lah...let's have a threesome...so the 3 monkies rock the bed.......refer to pics from postnew....

and finally tarsah is in control. he is top of the top of the bottom....hahahaha....

the end? u want me to continue or the end?.......

prologue: remember the thread how i picked up a ck briefs...well now u know the origin of that ck which landed in the public pool where leetahsar swam....and not leetarsah....r and h spelling hor...if u are sharp....that sah is not this sar ok....got'cha!!....hahahaha......;9)

yes...by now u should ve realised whose the original owner of the found ck briefs which urs truly is now wearing...hahahaha....

and the response for reader comes in....

my reply:
To: painneck (goutyneck) 1303 of 1307

83628.1303 in reply to 83628.1297

can break other thingies or not, like a limb or rib?


or bloodhound...OUCH!!!

From: leetahsar 00:04
To: postnew 1304 of 1307

83628.1304 in reply to 83628.1298

ok...broken and burst one ball can...? leave the other to propagate...;9)

From: leetahsar 00:37
To: leetahsar 1305 of 1307

83628.1305 in reply to 83628.1302

LEETAHSAR MEETS LEETARSAH.....

me leetahsar was joyfully floating in the public pool....not a care in me. free like a soaring bird....free like the ocean salmon....free....*BANG*....with a free baluku in the head :(

i was back crawling looking at the soft clouds in the sky...and now FREE BALUKU....who the hell banged into my head! hell! damn painful, u know!!

i erected and stood on water. turned round i looked menacingly at the culprit...my god! my exact double - leetarsah. "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!!" both of us asked at the same time....

"I AM LEETAHSAR!"..."I AM LEETARSAH!" same time answered back, too.

shit!! if this continues hor...everyone will go crazy and become goon like me...:)

the 2 sar/sah each got a baluku (swollen head) after the heads collision. both jumped out of the pool and headed simultaneously to the changing room.

there inside the changing room. they stripped to their undies.

leetarsah looked at leetahsar...and vice versa...(me also getting confusing now)...and leetahsar looked at leetarsah...and vice versa again....

"OIY! how cum u r wearing ck briefs?" both blurted out the same question again at the same time...shit! like talking to a mirror..except this is not a mirror but an exact leetahsar clone in the form of leetarsah...(???blurring liao???)

leetarsah: " ur ck undies looks familiar...where did i see it the last time?....."

leetahsar: "what?! dun tell me it's yours, hor...i picked one ok..."

leetarsah: " yes!!! it's belong to botaky....who the hell are u? u botaky's sidetrack lover or what? how cum u wearing his undies?"

leetahsar: "what, what? what botaky....bo sen li..i know...botaky i dunno lei...i ledi dunno leh..." *scratching head*

leetarsah: "me power TOP OF THE TOP monk wannabe from BROKENECK TEMPLE...formally called BROKEBACK..but after too many got backs broken by botaky...he thinks better change it to BROKENECK....very famous hor...dun pray pray...."

leetahsar: hell with it man! what brokeneck or brokeback...u kachiew(disturb) me i not only break ur back, neck...and r u trying to accost me.....i also break that part ...bloodhound...dun pray pray with me, ok...botak!

there were a row of mirrors on the wall which caught the attention of the 2 jokers. they looked into it...my god! and there were 4 sars/sahs.....(siao liao this time!!)

.....they stared at each other ...stared again at their images in the mirror...stared at the other sar/sah's image....and both burst out laughing....hahahaha....

......what's next...dunno lei...i siao and blur liao...dun ask...i dunno...i ledi dunno...the last thing i know we each went into a cubicle...separate one hor....showered ourselves...smiled at each other after that and went each other's way...that was it...what u expect? broke each other back(side) is it?

...the end....(Blurred bo?).....hahahaha....;9)


CUT & PASTE ...old fun thread of leetahsar

Coffee Shop Talk - would u wear a used branded underwear? Subscribe
From: leetahsar 1-Feb 21:24
To: ALL 1 of 87

92309.1

been swimming quite often now to rid the sparetyre. usually go to the public pool during the afternoon. damn shiok! the pool is mostly bare. the trouble is i picked up so many things careless swimmers left in the shower room...

goggles - branded one, picked 3 pairs already.

wah! lo real face scrub for man...goodness..just saw the price $39.90 for a small tube...and i found a big tube in the shower cubicle...

latest found: calvin klein underwear...er...pai seh about my size...XL...looks brand new.

qn: can wear or not huh? i mean just bring back sterilised and wash then do u think can wear or not?

also found: full bottle shower creme...the expensive type....face wash....swimming trunks...branded one...too bad too small for me....

how cum people left behind so many expensive stuffs after a swim?




the above c n p was one of my bo liao monday blues enlightening joker thread...and now it comes into full circle with my BROKEBACK AND BROKENECK TEMPLE.....ornitoufo...

i may sound obscene...but obscene i am definitely NOT....

A THREESOME....TOP OF THE TOP OF THE BOTTOM.....

tonnes of waters rush down his big round eyes...just like niagra falls....flooding the whole room....and now both tarsah and botak are in knee high flood of tears....

as botak wades through the water of tears..to open the doors to let out all the tears, his ck is soaked through...oh my merciful buddha! it isn't a bloodhound under that bulge, it's a giant anaconda!!....and it wriggles as botak is wading in big steps over the tears to the room door...

it wriggles and wriggles...and gradually unkown to botak, the ck is slowly slipping southwards......and wah la! anaconda is set free and swings gaily left and right...up and down as botak continues to wade towards the door.....

that girls and horny guys, he hasn't even mari kita yet. can u imagine when the anaconda sings the national anthem? the flag rising ceremony...how huge can it get?

finally he reaches the door knob, opens and *flush* all leetarsah's tears flushed out. goodness! it's like raining and waterfull to the floors below.. and along with it, botak's dropped ck briefs also goes with the rushing water....hahahaha...;9)

the room is wet but at least no tears flooded now. tarsah just can't take his stare off botak's swinging anaconda.

never even in his male missy's days had he seen such a big snake before...and that's not even mari kita yet.....botak is stark naked infront of him....mi mi with 2 pointy grape seeds, swinging anaconda and goodness the pai pai rounded bright moon.....

"aiyah!! botaky...cum cum....cum to me leh...i cannot tahan any more...my moon needs ur anaconda...." moaned monky #8....."cuming dear....cuming..." botak goes back to the slutty gay spidey monk. tarsah just stands there like an idiot. lost at what to do. what's next? er...i dunno....how huh? .....wanna censored or not......

BROKENECK TEMPLE...PART 2

KUM siong yat chi (kum, the last time), orh deh kong du (we talk until)......

leetahsar is finally ordained monk wannabe in big spidey botak's monastery....there were altogether 8 monks in the hierachy...botak being the abbot...u know the big spider king....always on the top position...get it? THE TOP POSITION...

so now being a new wannabe monk, where am i suppose to be....a bottom? u know as in a...BOTTOM.....But i just love to be top ...u know as in TOP for once over some BOTTOM....

SHIT!! THis top and bottom thing is getting confusing to me...ok lah...i wanna to be in control...I AM A CONTROL FREAK!!! yes! i said it...botak, u better be bottom to me...or else...heeheehee...;9)

so leetahsar after making up what he was to be...neither top nor bottom...but top of the top...the bottoms can let them be laid...cos he doesn't care anymore. this goon blur blur goes to bang the door of chiefy botak.

BANG! BANG! BANG! he hammers away. "Who's there?" came a voice from within. "...wait a moment please...coming...coming....!"

the door swings open. OH MY MERCIFUL BUDDHA!!! a naked botak in his super expensive ck briefs...(this one hor he's wearing is the high end one..at least $98). "yes, tahsar, what do u want?" botak in ck briefs asks.

leetarsah is in shocked. his big round eyes is now bigger rounder eyes....staring at that humongous bulge from the botak's ck. cold sweats breaks out....he just realises that what big thing poked him the other night....oh my god!!! and no wonder his legs was soft afterwards and was walking like a rubbery legs....hahahaha...;9)

after composing himself and wiping the beads of sweat off his now also botak head, he speaks, "hello botak...u deflowered me the other stormy and thundery night...and now...now...how are u going to compromise me?"

botak of course is caught off guard to his direct demand. "botaky...botaky...cum cum...me cannot tahan any more...cum botaky..." a voice rings out from inside the room within a room....his personal spider cave of lust.

lts can't stand it any longer and rushes in. oh my god!! monky #8....the youngest and chioest hunk...naked in bed.

tarsah glares at botak. now it's botak's turn to break into cold sweat...."U told me...i am ur everything...and now...now...now...now..." sorry tarsah's stereo now out of order...."now...now....boohooohooohooo.....!...i wanna die...ahhh...boohooohooo...!!!" he finally breaks into niagra falls..nearly flooding the whole... 水 淹 金 山 詩。。。。。

most probably what most male brains are made off...except leetahsar's one....:)