understanding PRAJNAPARAMITA HEART SUTRA.....

thanks swash...for so looking up to me...u know since i am monk wannabe...i will explain to the PRAJNAPARAMITA HEART SUTRA...

it states that if u r an emperor, u behave like an emperor...if u r a clown u act like a clown...if a clown envies an emperor and usurps his throne and tries acting like an emperor for who he is originally not, the whole equilibrium of the country will go haphazard...everything is thrown into inequilibrium! ....and chaos ensue....

NOW...WHO'S THE CLOWN HERE..AND WHO'S THE EMPEROR?

and so...our country..our economy...our mood...everything goes haphazard....

just like in a family nucleus....if a father doesn't act like a husband and a father; the wife doesn't act like a wife and a mother...the children don't act like children such as they suppose to be study..instead they go into pathoing...then the whole family goes into an upset of equilibrium...and there will always be chaos and unrest within the family....

i m a nobody...a nothing...if i m suppose to be something...then that something will come to me...i dun have to chase after it....

if in the end, i din robe up a monk..then ok lor...I AM WHAT I AM....I AM LEETAHSAR...THE GOON KING LOR!...;9)...no more a monk wannabe lor.......

U R WHAT U R...IF U R NOT WHAT U R SUPPOSE TO BE...THEN U R NOT....ornitoufo...

i hope i din blur u with my humble goon's advice....;9)

MY SWEET GARDENING DU DI (DICIPLE)...

THE NICE PEOPLE IN MY FREE GARDENING CLASS....i m so thankful....THANK YOU FOR UR PRESENCE...IF I ANYHOW BLABBER LIKE A SILLY GOON...PLS EXCUSE ME...GOON WHAT...WHAT TO DO HOR?....LAUGH LOR!

today i was pleasantly surprised that one fella from my gardening class actually obliged to be my driver...FOR THE WHOLE DAY...my god!...i was so grateful to him...

THANKS NIVEUV!...U R VERY HELPFUL AND SWEET!!...if without u today...i wonder how am i going to teach my cacti class this sunday at my temple at 3.pm....(all the drivers not available...one gone china...the other something on..)

this chiohunk chap is really full of surprises to me...

first, he looks boyish...and yet he's already more than 30yrs +......and he looks like a CID to me...er...am i in danger of being arrested and sent to the notorious ugly chua sisters for S&m?...I WONDER..
and my goodness! this boyish chap is married...another surprise...and he owned his own pigeonhole...wow...rich hor!...and he pleasantly told me before he came to pick me up, he picked a $50 note up too from the floor...lucky star him!!...;9)

and yes yesterday ...as usual i striked lottery...3rd prize cos a couple of days ago, i click on my own profile ...and goodness! i hit 7115 posts...so i bought this number...and holly molly! yesterday, sunday, it came out chun chun 3rd prize!..

so since NIVEUV gave me his contact number and he had diligently attended my classes...i thought maybe he would love to see more plants. and surprisingly, my senses was right. HE LOVED TO!
and today i gave him a timsum treat before we set off....kena 4d what.....
while supping the timsums, we chatted...and chatted....and chatted...wow lau! like can chat forever u know...hahahaha...!

so sensing the rain would be pouring, i quickly mai tan (settled bill) and rushed to his car. true enough, it poured!
so we were on our way to the very ulu garden to get my necessary charpalangs(things) that i needed to conduct my this coming sunday class on cacti...EVERYTHING ON CACti...

THAT settled ...we got all our barangs. he was very kind to oblige and send me all the stuffs to the temple. chucked it there and then off again we went to THOMSON FAR EAST FLORAL to get some nice glass container to house all the cacti which i would be showing the participants there how to do a CACTUS DISH GARDEN....

interesting hor...MUST COME OK...THIS SUNDAY...3 PM..AT #20 JALAN RAMA RAMA....u will love it...one of my most favorite subjects where both young and old love it!
and thanks again NIVEUV...for sponsoring the very expensive glass dish with ur found $50...very paiseh...
thank u for all ur help...and kindness....may u strike 4D this week...i offer u my LTS LUCKY BLESSING...ornitoufo!...

er...my orchids and dragonfly and butterfly sticks...were all left in your car...me blur king...goon like anything...so pls bring this sunday...THANK YOU AGAIN...

U R A SWELL CHAP...AND HELLO..."JOKER" IS A FRIENDLY TERM ALL ANG MO PAI USE TO DESCRIBE FRIENDLY AND JOVIAL PERSON...LIKE U....NOT DEGRATORY TERM...AND DEFINITELY NO ILL MEANING...sorry if it sounded offensive to u...
see u at 3pm...this sunday..thanks!

next, he's married

19 APRIL 2006, I MADE MY HENAN GODSON HAPPIEST!!

i am so proud of myself...to be able to give some one hope and something to look forward to...

my godson from HENAN, china has finally come to peace with himself...
i think i will visit him during his summer holidays in july...
he was estatic when he got my birthday card and coincidentally on his birthday on 19 april itself...;9)

see...the way miracles work...to make someone's live...a total stranger initially to me...so so happy...and the feeling within me is happiness too...beyond description..IT'S PRICELESS!!...

HAVE U MADE SOMEONE HAPPY TODAY?...;9)

EVILS OF LAUHANKOO...my father...:(

i thought the paps are evil enough until i realised truly the real evil is like...MY BLOODY LAUHANKOO of a father.
he' back today from his usual spider hunting teetujias in HYAADAI...back less than 3 hrs and quarrelling almost close to hitting it out with me again...;9(
when he was away fucking spiders, the whole family was so peaceful and happy...the moment he's back, hell breaks loose again.....:(
a few days ago, i opened a letter addressed to him. it was payment advice for the job my brother CARROT LEE did for him...the amount was quite substantial.
a day before, carrot came to see me and told me about his current financial woes. i would love to help him. but u know all his money, his evil wifey kept...so actually wifey got all his money...and damn rich this bad bitch...so i was thinking...why should i lend him....the wife got his money what?
so i played mat bodoh lor...and i told him the job he did using the lauhankoo firm's name already got the fat cheque. carrot just sighed......so both of us understood: where hankoo wanted to return him the money...he supped every single cents to feed his teetujias tribe back in HYAADAI....damn jialat this bloody evil lauhan!!
and now...this morning he's back. i beh tahan. carrot is my only little brother...me the big brother..so i gotta to protect him...and shit!! this lau han is my father who swallows his son's hard earn sweat and blood money...to do what?....to feed the bloody teetujias in hyaadai....;9(
"lauhan, carrot's business bad this month....u got his money, can u refund whatever amount due to him.....be a bit compassionate....he's ur son...." i blur blur blurted to him straight in his face.
and the storm begins......'9(
pi li pa la...@#$%^&!!#$%^^%$....PI LI PA LA....PI LI PA LAH.....getting more intense and louder till all the neighbours or maybe even the entire block can hear.....
all the uncensored vulgarities fire away at me...i beh tahan...CAN U TAHAN OR NOT?....an unreasonable old fuck who claims to be our father...supped all the blood and sweat money from u...to do what?...FEED AND FUCK SPIDERS!!
and as the screwing, cursing...and swearing gets more heated up...he lounges at me who is resting on my IDESIRE MASSAGE CHAIR.....
he points a menancing finger at me, threatening...yes again...to hit me. mama lee is at the kitchen. she's shocked. she wobbly run out to confront lauhan and yells at him..."STOP IT!!" she yelled. "tahsar is right u know!! if u got conscience, u should return ur son's blood and sweat money...and pity carrot who works himself to skin and bones....what did u do?.....NOTHING...u only want money...and cause problems to the family...that's all u do!!!"
wah lau!! steady lah old fat girl....hankoo got a shock. since when did our old fat girl, mamalee is so bold?....he withdraws...lan lan goes into my adjacent pigeonhole...and the storm for the time being is resolved...
PEOPLE.....do u have a better lauhankoo father like mine??
can go crazy hor?....and this is just barely 3 hrs he is back from his spider hunting.....sperm missile firing hyaadai trip....
and u know something? he is wearing a pair of knee supported guards...must have had over fired all sperms missiles till wobbly weak in the knees...
tonight, the whole gang of sisters will be back for makan....and i think the whole upheaval's going to replay in enhanced mode...
luckily today, my bunch of godsons asking me to meet out at about 6pm...so HENG AH!! I won't be around to join in the "fun?"......
sad is the case of my present domestic bo liao woes...why?...i always ask myself?...why a father can be so evil and nasty towards his own flesh and blood....so merciless and vengeful towards his wife....so unconcerned towards the family?
WHY??
when he's dying...he will know why.......or when he realises why....his time would be up then....IT WOULD BE TOO LATE....for all the pains and miseries he brings to the family...
i can only ORNITOUFO TO HIM...cos'...no matter what...he's still our bo liao lanhankoo father.....;9(
i ve written in present tense...cos...there's no end to such uncalled domestic woes...and it would replay and replay...well...unless the lauhan dies cock standing from overdose of viagra in hyaadai...then...all our miseries die with him.....
ornitoufo......chui guo...chui guo to me......;9(

ANOTHER FORUMMER COMPLIMENTS ME...

From:
a_swashneker
29-Apr 13:13
To:
leetahsar
1688 of 1697

wah seh, i think u can go to the erection rally and give speech man! no joke!
L for leetahsar

From:
leetahsar
29-Apr 13:21
To:
a_swashneker
1689 of 1697

how i wish too....
i mean a goon got more compassion for all the brothers in sinkieland...the paps got and wants even more money for their pockets only..
agreed?

From:
a_swashneker
29-Apr 13:24
To:
leetahsar
1690 of 1697

83628.1690 in reply to 83628.1689
think u shld join lah.
give up oneself for the mass!


From:
leetahsar
29-Apr 13:50
To:
a_swashneker
1691 of 1697

83628.1691 in reply to 83628.1690
TOO LATE LIAO LAH!!....me monk wannabe...i got better things to enlighten ...the masses of disillusioned minds are waiting for me to clear their cobwebs...
i might robe up anytime u know....
i love to improve our beloved land...free the people so that they can breathe better, live better, sleep better...and not dropping dead at such young promising age....and everyone feels that it's better to die than to be sick...and if u get a chronic sickness like diabetes (me got), heart ailments, cancer...ur fate is sealed and doom....ER...BUT NOT ME HOR...;9)
PEOPLE HERE NOW LIVE IN APPREHENSION AND ANXIETIES AND UNDUE STRESSES....WHY?....WHY IS THIS SO?...
go to the USA...or other places less developed like CAMBODIA....i dun think what's occuring here is happening or even heard of there....
WHY AGAIN..I ASK?
but more importantly, their mind should be free first from all the cloudy illusions they are tricked into believing...
what..MORE GOOD YEARS!!, SWISS STANDARD!!...APPRECIATION OF UR PIGEONHOLE VALUES...etc.
now in walkoever queenstown, i just got the bo liao big flyers with the clown waving behind...and his lame motto...
TOGETHER, A BETTER LIFE FOR ALL....
yes...a better life for all of us...not u u idiotic peasants!!
WE R GOING TO RAISE PUBLIC TRANSPORT...OUR ALREADY OBSCENE SALARIES....ALL CONSERVATION...CIGARATTE TAX...AND EVEN THE GST TO 7 OR 8%...SO STUPID...GIVE U A MISERLY PROGESS PACKAGE...AND ALL KENA CONNED BIG TIME....THOSE ARE U MONEY MAN!!.....NOW I AM GOING TO TAKE ALL BACK...MUAHAHAHAHA.......me evil pinkier clown...not get this title for nothing hor...dun pray pray...PREPARE TO BE SCREWED FOR THE NEXT 5 YRS...AND DIE PAIN PAIN!!!....MUAHAHAHAAHAA.....;9(
VOTE THEM OUT!!!

other's father and my lauhankoo...

I just got back from a house warming of one of my member of FOSC or Full of Shitty Crap..
his father really loves him...he plans for him...his father bought him a 999 leasehold penthouse....my god!
and my own lauhankoo is always pressing me to sell my 3rms pigeonhole...so that he can have the money to rear more teetujias....:9(
i spoke to his father. he told he would be buying another for his younger son.....and after that his duties to both his sons will be done...
so touching....such concerned father for his children...
and my lauhankoo...only sup our money...to feed teetu cheena mei meis now proliferating in Hyaadai...
sad...and the teetujias there fed him with dunno what VIAGRA..and dunno what chinese john herbs...
every trip when he returns, his words will slurp....and he looks so disorientated....like under some kind of spell like that...
poor lauhankoo father of mine...when will u come to ur senses and give us the whole family peace?...dun wait until u are dead cockstanding....then u regret...cos by then it shall be too late!
ornitoufo to u....ornitoufo.....;9(

BABAREROS FROM PHILIPPINES POSTED TO ME

From:
BabaEro11
30-Apr 03:15
To:
leetahsar
1693 of 1697

Pare, in your cuntry got a Kangaroo Court call FamiLEE Court .. you can go get a Personal Protection Order against your Lauhankoo.
Oso there is another kangaroo court where your CARROT LEE can sue your lauhankoo into bankruptcy .. you know sueing for bankrupcy is a FASHION in your cuntry .... your MM, PM, SM, watever M are doing it regularly in your kangaroo Courts.

From:
leetahsar
30-Apr 12:28
To:
BabaEro11
1694 of 1697

pare...actually i m now doing something very odd and way out...
do u know there's a chinese saying...jia1 zhou3 b4u nern2 wai4 yan2...it means DON'T WASH UR FAMILY LAUNDRY IN THE PUBLIC....
i wrote now cos i want to share with everyone hear that all the guys when they become a FATHER...he might be such...or even worse...so hopefully after reading my UPHEAVALS...u guys can be mindful to others around you...especially next time ur own wife, kids...and even parents or friends....ornitoufo...
so hopefully...my private washing in public is worth the sacrifices.....
...and in the next post after this....i m deeply saddened...*sob...sob..*............;9(....read on to find out why......

MY LAUHAN IS EVILER THAN I THOUGHT....:(

this morning was up quite early....i still couldn't get over what happen last morning...barely 3 hours of my lanhankoo's return...and was already close to fighting nearly erupted....
"mum....yester nite, i wasn't in...did the old fuck create problem to u or the sisters?" i asked my mum who was croaking her usual morning karaoke practice...and recording it on tape....and playing back engrossing in her own croaking....my god!
"aiyah!...ah sar...do u know that u r now in a very perilous situation....dun disturb the bloody old fuck!!...pls sar....for ur own goodness sake!." mum stopped her croaking and was a bit exasperated when she replied.
"why...why mum?...what's wrong?" i was really curioius now.
"sar, u know hor...yesterday he said huh he wants u dead...IT'S TRUE U KNOW HOR?....not just say say only hor...." mum finally revealed. "he kept a real heavy steel rod behind his room door....and is waiting to use it ...ON YOU!!..."
NOW I AM SHOCKED!
"Yes....HE WANT'S U DEAD!!...if he can't kill you, he surely will maim u with that monster rod..." mum was now closed to tears. "pls sar, he wants to die...let him to go and die...DUN ACCOMPANY HIM TO DIE, OK!"
"mum...is he ur husband....my father?" i was deeply saddened....and almost the niagra falls breaking loose any moment ...LIKE NOW...when i m writing this....IS THIS MY OWN FLESH AND BLOOD FATHER?.....I ASKED MYSELF.....;9(
"Sar,.....dun cry lah....*sob...sob*..." instead she was already having the the jurong waterfall coming on....sad.....*sob...sob*....;9(....... "u dun have to worry...when he left for his spider hunting trip, i already quietly took the menancing rod and threw it away...i don't think he knows yet....so pls...pls for goodness sake!...next time dun bother about carrot lee and lanhan matters....both also hopeless!!"
i really really cannot understand...WHY IS ALL THIS HAPPENING?...why a father wants all his sons dead?
why?...i only asked him to payback to carrot what is due to him....IS THAT WRONG?....carrot needs to eat too...AND CARROT IS MY ONLY LITTLE BROTHER...AND THE BLOODY LAUHANKOO...IS NOT A FATHER ANY MORE...HE'S WORST THAN MY WORST ENEMY...(which by the way i dun think i ve any...)
WHY CAN THE BLOODY OLD FUCK AWAKEN?
this morning...i was observing his knee guards...oh no! it's something even more serious. both his feet are badly swollen...in such a case, it can only mean something is wrong within him....most likely his kidneys...cos' his diabetic condition is very bad...and he just came back from his sperms firing practice in hyaadai...
how can a 70+ diabetic lauhankoo sing the MARI KITA?...obviously fed himself with VIAGRA...and without a doctor's prescription...the little blue pill to a medical condition consumer can be deadly....and that explains his swollen feet condition...
WHAT AM I TO DO NOW??....AM I SUPPOSE TO SAVE HIM AGAIN?....I HAVE SAVED HIM ONCE...3 YRS BACK....when he went into hypoglaecemia...ie. low blood sugar which can cause fainting...then coma...then maybe brain death or even death...cos this is a condition when the body is sugar starved...the brain can't function without glucose...and everything in the body will shut down...
RX: make the patient a cup of sweet fluid like fruit juice, soft drink (not the sugarless type like diet coke), honey raw....or let him suck a sweet...
very dangerous this condition...
and now...hankoo has put himself in PERIL again...how..?...what?....as i was pondering whether to tell him what to do...
mamalee yelled: "ah sar!! don't teach him anything...dun even tell him...LET HIM GO AND DIE...AND U BETTER LISTEN TO ME THIS TIME!!!"
and up till now...i am still pondering....i didn't tell him...but i sang loudly a song with all the lyrics changed to hint to him...in engrish which mamalee is blurred to...
hope he got my singing message...now it's entirely up to him...to go see a doctor asap...
orntioufo....to him....my dear dear father......;9(

have a hearty laugh...

http://www.goodiebag.tv/video/do_you_take_it.htm

http://www.goodiebag.tv/video/do_you_take_it.htm

THE STUBBORNLY IGNORANT

YESTERDAY, was nearly a disastrous day for me...and i blamed it on the day before yesterday that is friday night.

i was feeling a bit hungry. opened the fridge i search for something to nibble cos it was near to dinner time. mamalee told me there was a MAC BEEF RICE BURGER insided...oh goodie!

found it. opened half of the bun and pulled out a slice of heavily seasoned beef. threw it into my mouth...munched. mmmh! YUMMY!
took out the whole MAC pack. opened bun to warm it up...oOH

GOD!!!....what was that!!!

the bun revealed a multi-coloured bread inside...PURPLE, RED, GREEN and....:(

oh mati liao!! i had just ingested something that should be in the rubbish chute....

"Mum...how long is this MAC?" i yelled and questioned.

"Oh...ur sister brought it last saturday when they came here to makan....." my mum replied as though this consecrated MAC was as fresh as breast milk!! "Can eat lah...put inside fridge won't spoil one lah....heat it up can already lah!...."

shit!! poison taking effect...off i rushed to the toilet...and

BRACCCCCCCK...RMMP..RMMP...BRAMMMMMPP!!!

"Mum!!!" i yelled from the toilet cubicle, "U silly stupid woman!! u wanna kill me is it?!!"

"What now?" my mum calmly yelled back. "what the hell u cow peh cow bu!!?"

"the MAC is past consumable condition...u good look inside the bun...and see what colours u have inside?"

"dun eat...dun eat lor!...leave it then. afterwards i heat it up i eat for u to see!." came the stubborn idiotic reply......;9(

after i settled my big time business. exit the toilet. first thing first...THREW AWAY THE CONDEMNED TOXIC MAC BEEF RICE BURGER!.....

to be cont'd....the morale of this suffering shitting story that had just happen on this goon....haizz!

THE STUBBORNLY IGNORANT..part 2

came the following day....SATURDAY....
THE stomach was bloated with the toxic beef i ate on friday. there was much gas. i diarrohea the whole night...and was no lying with battery totally flat and weak on the sofa...
BRU..BRU...poo..poo...pooooooh!
oh shit! oh great!....NOT GAS CAME OUT...but watery stool....i dragged myself up...and zoomed for the toilet in split seconds!
BRRAAAMMMMM....BRU BRU...BRRRUMMPPPPP!!!
hai..hai...hai!!...i was panting..like being brutally raped by the ugly chua sisters......my knees were really weak now...it was wobbling...it was shaking...JIALAT!!
and i am now in full exposure.....couldn't be bothered now...since no one was home...i just wobbled naked to my wardrobe and put on a new pair of undies...of course not my calvin klein...BYFORD would do...and new shorts...and TIMMMMBER onto my bed...half dead!....;9(
after a brief rest, got up...and popped in POH CHAI pills...2 bottles instead of one...totally flat out now...and the hell tummy was still distended and bloated.....jialat!!
and the sides were aching from all the BRAMMMP AND BRUMMMP....;9(
.........how man.!....kept feeding with POH CHAI PILLS the whole day...and laid quite lifeless on my bed......
to be cont'd.....er...wait lah...MORALE COMING....U MUST LEARN THIS ONE...POWER ONE.....patience...please....

THE STUBBORNLY IGNORANT..part 3, conclusion

finally...my colour of my face was quite back to normal after 2 days of incessantly bombing the toilet...

my BRUMMP AND BRAMMP...were finally almost gone....

SUNDAY.... i was safe could conduct my outdoor gardening lesson in THOMSON RD FAR EAST FLORAL....

so here's the MORALE OF MY HORRENDOUS SUFFERING EXPERIENCE...

why did i consume that beef?...actually i already 6th sensed something was amissed...but still i ate it? why?

i was overcame by HUNGER...and so even my 6th sense was telling me DON'T EAT IT....I ATE IT...and suffered the consequence....

- DISLLUSIONED BY HUNGER....EVEN UR COMPASSION WITHIN IS ALREADY TELLING...DON'T DO IT!..

i ate. i suffered. i revealed. i told. .......BUT mum was still STUBBORNLY IGNORANT AND STILL BELIEVED THAT TOXIC BURGER WAS STILL CONSUMABLE....

WHY?

- stubborn and ignorance will kill that person who possesses them and refuse to detach from them....everyone please be aware of this....

it's like SMOKING CAN CAUSE CANCER...and yet people still smokes cos' they thought I WON'T GET IT...but then in the end they got it...and they regret...and they suffer painfully before the CANCER becomes terminal and finally snuff out their precious life...ornitoufo....

the living examples are already there for everyone to see and witness the consequences...and yet...the stubbornly ignorant still choose to take the suffering roads to a life of tragic ending....

ORNITOUFO...PEACE BE WITH U ALL WHO READ MY SUFFERING SHITTING SMARTING ARSE.........please be awaken from your stubborn ignorance....if not sufferings is not far from u.....

ornitoufo......golden words from ur humble goon.....;9)

NAMO AMITAHBA BUDDHA.....

THE GIANT BRONZE BUDDHA IN DAI YEE SHAN, LANTAU ISLAND, HONGKONG....

"MAY HIS MERCIFUL LIGHT SHINES ON ALL WHO CALL FORTH HIS NAME.......ORNITOUFO...."

THE FOUR FACED BUDDHA.....

THE PRAJNAPARAMITA HEART SUTRA



THE FOUR FACED BUDDHA

this is my suppose godson from henan, china.....don't u think he got movie star quality?

MY POOR GODSON FROM HENAN, CHINA...

one fine day, out of nowhere i find a god son from msn-ing.
poor boy, he was a 19 undergraduate from HENAN, the same place where SHAOLIN TEMPLE is located.
suddenly, he just msned me and told me he was happy to know me...of course, i was blurred??? "who the hell is this cheena young joker?" i was wondering....and "how the hell he knows how to contact me?'...next question...
AND WHERE THE HERE HE GOT MY INFO FROM..who put me up where...how come i dunno one huh???
as i was counting all my question marks worms...he introduced himself....so since i damn free i bo liao with him lor....
and soon, i began to feel sad for him. he got a dysfunctional family just like me.....he got a alcoholic father who not only drinks, flirts but a wife and son beater....my god!
then i asked him to show himself to me in cam. and he did.
my god! he was one chiocheenahunk....1.82m 75kg...and really looked like andy lau...NOW I AM INTERESTED AND FLIRT WITH HIM....u know i am so immuned to teetukongs after so many for nothing popped in to visit me and shocked the hell out of me....;9)
and up till now...i am still blurr....what their visit to me was all about...????
to be cont'd.....

PART 2, MY POOR CHINA GODSON FROM HENAN....

The following night, my msn suddenly rang....oh! my china godson was on....
i msned him and asked him to show himself to me on cam(era). he obliged.
the moment i saw him, i was shocked! there were bruises all over his face so i asked him what happened...and he broke down and cried pitifully.
reader says:
Dear bob,,if i die...will u be sad for me?
reader just sent you a Nudge!
Bob says:
SORR...i was talking to a friend...
Bob says:
why do u want to die...u so young and u want to die...
Bob says:
I WILL BE FOREVER ANGRY AND U WILL BE very stupid
reader says:
~~~~~~~~
reader says:
hahaha...
Bob says:
i give u this BUDDHA...
Bob says:
pls dun think of stupid thing like killing urself..ok..
Bob says:
i give u my heart now..
reader says:
oh nothing, if i die...would u think of me.....
Bob says:
ai...yuan...i dunno...i will be very very sad...and very very guilty for the rest of my life...
reader says:
today.....iwas very sad, i want to end my life...
Bob says:
u r scaring me or what...I ANGRy u know
reader says:
sorry, i m joking...
Bob says:
y
reader says:
i m sad today
reader says:
er...
Bob says:
why u sad
reader says:
today i m no good, i cry again....
Bob says:
u ve me...u should be happy...
reader says:
my father hit me again ...today...
Bob says:
why
so he related the whole story to me...it went like this...very sad....

PART 3, MY POOR CHINA GODSON FROM HENAN....

he is the only child in his family. father and mother both 43. shit! i thought they were older than me...now became i older than them....:(
in henan, most people works as miner...coal miners that is. it's a very dangerous job. they go underground and sometime remain inside for days....
if the ground shifts, the mine may collapse and all the miners would be trapped inside.
his name is YUAN....he told me he wanted to leave this condemned place. if not when he finished study, he would surely end u as a miner too.
but his parents weren't that rich to send him outside china to study. he wanted to come to singapore....he wanted to be with me...
oh my god! and i barely know him for 3 days....he told when i talked to him, he felt very consoled....i gave him a very comfortable feel......pai seh...that's what he said.....:)
so i told him...come lor...come and live with me...i got extra room...i look after u...since now i already adopted u as my godson...(jialat! ah sar, 2 days bo liao msn and u gong gong go adopt somebody's child from china.....)
he was so happy after i said that and started laughing. then his mood turned solemn. sad...then he burst out crying.....
i was already curious when i saw all the bruises on his cute fair face...so i asked him did he fell down or what..
and he burst out crying even more pitifully.....*sniff*...and shit!...i cried with him...and pleaded him to stop and tell me what happened.
he revealed his father hit him. it started out he was drunk after drinking binge when he surfaced from the mine. in his moment of drunkeness, he hit yuan's mum. yuan was furious and yelled at him and told his mum that his old man had a gf.
this drove the old man even madder and he hit yuan incessantly....and that was where all the bruise marks on his lovable cute face came from.....:(
why i said he's cute and lovable?....my god! he's better looking than andy lau, man!
so i counselled him up to 2 am in the morning...and i sent him a picture of the BIG BRONZE BUDDHA of dai yi shan, lantau island, HK......the biggest in the world...
i preached some buddhist parables...and after that he told me he felt better. and told me it was a joy and very fortunate to have known kan tae, godfather...that would be me...hahahaha....;9)
and so...maybe...i just say maybe only lah hah...i will visit him during his summer holiday in july....i hope i could straighten him and his old man.
then i just realised. i also got one such jerk in my home...except now it dawned on me that...this old jerk didn't hit me...i hantam him instead when he really challenged me to a fight and threw the first few punches which i cleverly blocked.....:9(
i do regret till today ...that it was inevitable that i hit him. he bled from the nose...and i blue blacked his cheek....but if he didn't attack me...i would not have retaliated. i have up till now...LOON (tolerate) him until...i tell u...no one in this world can agitate me beside him...
ornitoufo....I HAVE FAILED IN MY PART as a son...and i try harder from today to enlighten my own lau han koo jerk of a father...
ornitoufo....i pray to the merciful BUDDHA could forgive me for my unfiial sin...ornitoufo......:9(

MY GODSON FROM HENAN, CHINA

this is an email sent to me from my newly adopted boy from HENAN, CHINA....very sad...i think i will visit him and see if i could help him....
Dear bob:
I am sorry to you yesterday!!昨天晚上我一直要你那么的等着，都是我不好！对不起！希望你不要生我的气！我不是故意一直不理你的！我爸爸喝醉了，妈妈自己招呼不了爸爸，所以我必须得帮忙！他喝醉了，又不得不管！！唉！！！我没有骗你！相信我！！不要生气！！不要不理我！：（
昨天我本来有个东西要让你看的，可是没看成．我有一个钱包，是牦牛皮做的，藏式的，我想想问问你好看不好看，可是竟被耽误过去了！唉！！我最讨厌我爸爸喝酒了！！真烦人！！
　　好期待你能来啊！我估计７月初的那十几天放假！！呵呵！对了！我还不知道你的生日呢！！下会可要告诉我哦！到时，我也送给你一样礼物！呵呵！好了，不早了！我要睡觉了！拜拜！：）

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　原
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　０６年４月１１日，１１：３４
From china.
he's facing the same problem like me from my jerk lau han koo father...but his is more serious...his old man look like a problematic drunkard and resort to violence when drunk....

poor thing...i go there. he promised me to bring me to HENAN SHAOLIN TEMPLE...maybe i look see there...maybe can robe there...and as a bonus...the monk there can marry and ve kids...and eat meat...and live like any normal guy...SHIOK! U KNOW...

THE BOBBIT HILLBILLIES

Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named John.
A poor Ex-Marine with a little fraction gone-

It seems one night after getting with the wife
She Lopped off his Dong with the swipe of a knife

PENIS, That Is.
Clean Cut.
Missed His Nuts.

Well, the next thing you know there's a Ginsu by his side
And Lorena's in the car taking Willie for a ride
She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend

And tossed him out the window as she came around a bend
CURVE, That is
Tossed the Nub.
In the Shrub.

She went to the cops and confessed to the attack
And they called out the hounds just to get his Weenie back

They sniffed and they barked and they pointed "over there!"
To John Wayne's henry that was waving in the air.

FOUND, That Is
By a Fence.
Evidence.

Now Peter and John couldn't stay apart too long
So a Dick Doc said, "Hey I can fix that dong."
A needle and a thread is all we're gonna need

And the whole world waited 'til they heard that Johnny peed
WHIZZED, That Is
Even Seam,Straight Stream

Well he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court
With a half-assed lawyer cause his assets came up short.
They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape

And his pecker was the only thing they didn't show on tape
VIDEO,
That Is Unexposed.
Case Closed.

Ya'll Sleep on Your Stomachs
Now, Ya Hear......

I NEARLY KENA HEART ATTACK!

last friday, i near kena heart attack!
when the share market on, i blur blur went to buy HSI index. bought 10 lot at 39c. but the bloody market was like half dead.
i q to contra off my HSI at 42c for 5 lot. was thinking later in the afternoon

after my swim, i would sell the remainder 5 lot.
after the market break, i went swimming. about 2 hours later i returned. on the pc...checked trading status...

WAH! damn happy! done...but wait...NOT 5 LOT SOLD...BUT 50 LOT...my god!...I HAD SHORT SELL 40 LOTS!!

leetahsar u stupid blur goon!! how could u hantam another zero into my 5000 share to become 50,000....??

MATI..MATI!...PANIC...HYPERVENTILATING THEN!!!
wait!...my compassionate heart told me...chant....chant the prajnaparamita sutra...so i started my power chanting...and ended with gate gate para gate...para samgate...bodhi survaha....then AMITAHBA BUDDHA SUTRA followed....namo ornitoufo...slowly...the heart calmed down...and the blain was clearer...so i checked next the ratio of BUY/SELL...great! no buyer down on the queue...i hantam BUY 40c x 40 lot.....

soon the prices started to move..DOWNWARDS...20 lot done 40c...another 19 lot done 40c...finally the last one lot done 40c...total DONE 40 LOT @ 40c....

*BEE DTHAN!! let me see how much i made....wow piang! an extra gross profit of $800...add that to my initial gross of $300...it's like i make almost $1100 on friday....

not bad hor?....like kena a 2nd 4D prize leh...hahahaha...;9)
thank you heaven for ur mercifulness on this blur goon king...if not today...sure have to strip and sell my 24K mint arsehole....;9)

just yesterday, sunday, i was give free gardening lessons in my temple. this would be my 4th lesson now. and about 5 new participants joined in....my class was like getting bigger...hahahaha...;9)

yesterday lesson was very funny...i tickled everyone pink with my zany talentime story...this was how it went:

in my younger days, i was already damn garang. i brought my trusty CONGRESS guitar to a chinese talentime audition at rts ( the old mediacorpse name)...i strummed. i sang..

RINGGGGG!! XIE XIE, U CAN F OFF NOW!...can the abrupt reply...;9(...so bo bian i went back...

few months later or was it a year later, it was the english talentime turn...off i went again with my CONGRESS...

strumming and singing with all my heart...my feeling...my emotion...and my power voice...then finished...i was very surprised they allowed me to finish the entire song.

"Huh?....u finished already hah?....ok...thank you...U CAN F OFF NOW..."
SHIT!...more insulting! they were not even listening...haizz!...;9(

oops! side tracked too long...back to my gardening class...
by now everyone was laughing in stitches...hahahaha...;9)

after they had their fill of laughter, back to serious business. i demo how to group and arrange plants in a nice planter.

today i used a very expensive exquisite clear glass holder from SPAIN....it was a shallow bowl with a pedestal stand.

ok...u put the tallest plant that is ur TIAN...then u put in the REN plants...lastly ur DI...and wah la! a nice arrangement. next for the condiments...me piggy so i got a pair of cute piggies and put that infront...add in a water meter so that u don't have to worry when to water...and u can go away for weeks ...no problem...there is water reserve cos the media i used was a special media called SERAMIS....

then just happen i got a hollow pagoda...and that go over the water meter and hide it...so if u wanna check water level, just remove the pagoda..and there u know whether there is water by looking at the indicator...

CLEVER AND NIFFY HOR?
ok...WHO WANTS TO BUY IT??

immediately, dai shi heng loved it...he gave me $50...and insisted that i kept the change...if not he angry...my cost was only like $32 all in...but he said he just loved it...about my goonily novelty of putting piggies and pagoda to hide and camouflage the water indicator...so ok lor...SOLD...FOR $50....;9)

EVERYONE HAPPY WITH MY LESSON...TO MAKE ME EVEN HAPPIEST...!...;9)

*BEE DTHAN : hokkien term for BINGO!!

SINGAPORE IS A POOL OF STUPID GENES!!

李敖有话说 解释“新加坡人的笨”
2006年04月04日 10:01 字体:大中小

4月5日 星期三 16:15 李敖有话说 解释“新加坡人的笨”

我收到一封从新加坡来的观众的信。这是封面,从新加坡寄来的,信里面说,李大师,我们不说客气话,我们一群崇拜你的新加坡人,几个月以前寄了一封信给你,请求你解释新加坡人比较笨这句话,就你李敖说得这句话的理由。


我说新加坡的朋友笨,我的话其实是这样讲得,我是说,台湾人不是最坏的,台湾人他是最胡涂的,我说香港人比较坏,祖国的大陆的人不可测,好坏我搞不清楚,新加坡人比较笨。我的话是这样说得,首先我跟大家说,用一种笼统的话,来描写一个集体的现象的时候,这种陈述的方法都是很粗糙的,我从来不说我讲得话不粗糙。记者们访问你,你当然会用一个笼统的话,来表达你的意思,而对这种话如果我们吹毛求疵,当然会觉得是不是说得太重了,会有这种现象。可是我必须说,如果对这种话,我们那么样认真的,或者过份的严肃的去看待,我觉得有点跟自己过不去。

大家只看到我说,新加坡人比较笨,有没有想到,当我说香港人比较坏的时候,另外一个意思就是说,新加坡人不坏喔,你只是笨而已。那有人说你说我笨也不可以,为什么说我笨呢?我必须告诉大家,大家看看一个照片,这个人是谁呢?这个就是我所佩服的李光耀,为什么我佩服他?我告诉大家,有很多人不喜欢他,说他太严厉了或者太精了,过份的得饶人处也不饶人了,譬如说他喜欢打官司,都是我所佩服的优点。他在新加坡立国的过程里面,那么样的艰苦的环境,能够拉一派打一派,最后能够使新加坡能够出人头地,在全世界出人头地,这是了不起的功劳,我很佩服李光耀。

大家看这是李光耀年轻的时候,在竞选的时候一个照片,我给大家谈什么呢?给大家谈一个事情,就是大家想想这个李光耀,李光耀他是怎么样成长出来的,大家知道吗?他的曾祖父什么人,曾祖父在十六岁的时候,什么东西都没有啊,就像一个平民一样,流亡到新加坡,白手起家,后来有点成就以后,他花钱给清朝政府,去买了一个官,叫捐官,捐了一个官,捐什么官呢?就七品官,捐了一个七品官,然后他有第二代,第三代,然后第四代就是李光耀这一代,像李光耀曾祖父这些人,就是今天新加坡朋友们的,他们的祖先,当时由福建,由这些地方这一类的地方,穷得没办法,孤家寡人,白手到了新加坡或者这些地区,来创天下来打天下,这种人他们的努力他们的勤勉,都是我们所佩服的。可是有一点我必须提醒大家,他们的文化水平是不好的,因为他们的饭都吃不下去了,在福建这些这一类家乡里面,他们都活不下去了。所以他们是,刚刚讲过,他的勤勉他的努力他的,都是好的,可是他的文化水平不好,因为他们是很穷困的一批人,这批人就是今天新加坡人的祖先,也就是今天台湾人的祖先,我们就历史观点来看,我们对他们充满了崇拜跟同情。可是我们必须就事论事说,这个他们的文化水平基础不好。

当李光耀出来以后,他自己受了好的教育,在新加坡,在那么复杂的环境里面,能够在世界里面出人头地,这是整个新加坡同胞,朋友们的一个共同的一个成就,对不对?对的,可是我们感到有一点点的说法的,也就是这个成就啊,虽然是在一个优秀的领袖李光耀导演之下,可是它还是个集体的创作,你懂我意思吗?如果你问我李敖,你讲出来新加坡出类拔萃的人,除了李光耀他儿子,他们几位政治人物以外,我李敖只能讲出一个人出来,我所知道的,就是那个可爱的女孩子孙燕姿,你再叫我李敖讲一个啊,我坦白告诉你,我孤陋寡闻我讲不出来,证明了什么,证明了新加坡朋友们的努力,他们的成就,是集体的而不是很多,不是说没有喔,是你李敖不知道,而是不是他多少个,个人的出类拔萃的。不是这样,给我李敖一个印象,就是新加坡人笨,这个笨啊,不是挖苦的话,而是说,新加坡在李光耀的领导之下,有他的成就,可是也有一个后果,大家看到什么后果没有,所为一个思想家我告诉你们,中国古代讲求法家的政治,像管仲他们都是法家,可是中国古代啊,实行法家的这个理想没有成功,或者说没有长时间的成功,没有很合理的成功,可是这个理想,这个政治理想,在李光耀的统治之下,在新加坡这块土地之上成功了,李光耀和新加坡真正在世界上面很完美的实现了,中国法家政治的这个理想。可是有他的缺点,他的缺点啊,管得太严了抓得太紧了,到处一个牌子就看到了,要罚你多少钱,大家变得怎么样,变得是在一个集体活动之下的,一个每一个个人,真正个人出类拔萃的,而窜起来的不多。一个重要的原因,请大家注意啊,没有恶意啊,这个种不好,什么叫做种不好?李光耀先生往上数了三代,是十六岁的那么了不起的,一个青年人,那么穷困底下,在没有文化水平之下,跑到了新加坡。

跟台湾四百年以前很多穷人,像台湾一个有名的学者,叫做彭明敏,他的曾祖父啊,来台湾的时候只有一条内裤,穿著内裤就从福建,这样跑过来了,什么都没有啊,穷得什么都没有啊,当然也没有文化水平。这个基础无法跟像英国比,英国人家多少代的人,他们是累积的文化水平,所以当李光耀要在新加坡建立一个英国式的这种民主的体制的时候,他的人民有的时候跟不上,坦白告诉你们跟不上。所以我想李光耀先生心里,他有一个,有某种程度的了解,就是他的人民他的公民,整体的水平跟不上。可是他的这个法治的基础,中国法家的理想已经压下来了,所以就变成今天的这种,新加坡的个人的突出的表现,有世界性的,我李敖所知道的相当的有限。什么原因呢?就是这种统治方法跟这种群众,两个互相结合的太紧了,所以我们觉得那种,由于松懈而发生的一些优点,不见了。这就我所说新加坡人比较笨,笨的意思呢,就表示有一点点,这个反应啊,一个萝卜一个坑,有点不会破格。当然是,他好处不会破格,可是坏处呢,也不会出格,就有这种现象。告诉你们,一点恶意都没有,我跟你们有什么恶意呢?可是告诉你们,作为一个思想家,一个历史家,我来看这个问题,我们看得一清二楚,就是这样子,当然我会信口说出来。

******

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A TRULY SAD TALE OF A GUTSY LADY....MY AH YEE

I pray to You merciful goddess of mercy...bodhisttava guanyin...You must bless and protect my poor ah yee....and if she must go...pls guide her to Your paradise....and if she needs to be reborn....guide her that she won't have to suffer such unjust and unfair retribulation in her next life....ORNITOUFO.....



i am using purple the colour for courage and perserverance.....

today story is sad one and real cos it's the life story of my mum's elder sister...we call her AH YEE....( or auntie in hokkien)...

if u ve read about my kampong life, u should know my enterprising granny, my mum's mum....

well, she was too enterprising. and this time she shrewd too much she actually shrewd herself or rather she ruined the life of her eldest daughter...AH YEE...

ah yee was a very petite young flower just reaching 18 yrs old. she was gorgeous. she was chatty, friendly and very very hardworking.....

most of all she loved my mum who 's her younger sis....granny could only send one girl to study. to her - all the stone age kind mentality - no point waste money on girls. they were to marry off sooner or later. why waste money on them?

so ah yee sacrificed herself to allow mamalee (my mum) to be able to have a decent education.....she was reduced to a maid at home helping out the household chores while granny operate her enterprising makeshift store.

she sold breakfast like nasi lemak, prawn mee, congee....etc....she got like 5 children to handle. and she was a widow. my grandpal mati already in china when she escaped from there to emigrate here in sinkieland.

during the afternoon, she changed her business tone. she sold cigarettes, tit bits, ice karchang - the ball type , fruitty syrup flavoured type of ice cubes....and etc...and tikam tikam...my favourite!...always kena until grandma threaten to cane me if i tikam tikam so luckily with her...she could be broke by me u know...hahahaha....;9)

i just loved her super duper agar agar and her coconut flavoured ice cubes. she would sell them like 1 agar for 5c or 3 ice cubes for 5c.....very cheap and very popular with the kampong brats then...me her most loyal makan fan...;9)

of course, granny belanja me...how could she resist such cute mini leetahsar with the big electrocuting eyes even then...hahahahah...;9)

soon, a lady from town happened to come to our kampong. she saw ah yee - a demure, voluptous young lady...and my goodness! so friendly, cheerful and hardworking. she loved her...to be her daughter-in-law.

a match-maker was sent. this town lady was damn rich then. she held a string of businesses her dead hubby left behind for her to handle....and granny was mesmerised by her diamonds rings and her humongous jade pendant and bangles....

without second thought, she acceded to her proposal...and soon ah yee was prepared to be married off....and her nightmare was soon going to begin....

......to be cont'd.....standby tonnes of tissue papers....:9(

THE TORMENT OF A MARRIED LIFE...story of my ah yee.....PART 2

my ah yee just gong gong din even meet the groom...and she din even dare to object to granny's order. she just married off just like that.....she left everything to fate...my goodness!

on her virginal night.....she was deflowered....*brroooom....brooom....thunder and lightning.....*....she bled on the piece of white cloth laid on the bed.....

the next day, she then realised what a fuck her hubby was!

his family was rich. but this was a bloody fucker!...yes he fucked around...with any bar hostess whores...just about any mei mei with a hole!

not long, my ah yee was infected by syphillis....a present from her jerk husband....so both of them went to see a urinologist.

*brrooom...brooom...thunder and lightning...* yes...again...

her husband's dick condition was totally ruining...all infected and most likely sterile even after curing......

so there u r....my ah yee married to an eununch...she could never bear his children. not her fault but his.

the husband slanged her accusing her a jinx. he was already quite inflicted with sterility already even before he laid my ah yee. he just din realise it only after the last jackpot of std...and thanks to him, he also infected my pure as the lotus ah yee.....;9(

pretty soon, my ah yee's mum-in-law konged off leaving all the assets to the fucking jerk of a hubby. in no time, he gambled all away....yes...every single cent and was in heavy debt.

he absconded from the gangsters ah longsans. he escaped to china with only a suit case of clothing. he pawned all my ah yee's wedding dowries and char bok...without even a single concern for my poor ah yee.....:(

ah yee was blanked! she did not know what to do...what could a kampong potato cupcake barely 20yrs do?....

she refused to move back to granny. she hated granny for putting her into such a plight. granny was remorseful, too. she thought she had found a good family for my ah yee. hardly did she realise she had just sent her to the realm of the suffering hell.....:(

so biting her grit, ah yee pawn the few last pieces of jewelleries she was wearing. she used the money and started what she had now....2 provision stalls in beo cresent market...

she started with one. but cos her business was so good she applied for another one. by now she already adopted 2 dunno who children...she got a son earlier from her elder brother.

the eldest son was given to her by her elder brother ,on command from my granny to atone her sin. he was my ah KU (uncle) or mum's elder brother. the other 2 kids - a boy and a girl was adopted from duuno who...somebody just chucked them with my ah yee and ever since became her own children.....

when small my real maternal cousin was an intelligent boy. he was given to my ah yee when the husband was still around...and this asshole ill treated him cos he wasn't his own flesh and blood what.

hammer him...tortured him...until my this poor clever cousin became like a ding dong,....blurred liao....:9(......now he was almost 60....and still a lau ding dong....i dun think he could fend for himself.....;9(

the other dunno from where boy by hook or by crook took after his non maternal father...and was a rascal in every likes. he was in and out of jail as a teenager....my god! ah yee for nothing had all her history de ja vu.......:(

the girl was good. but she was married and had her own brood to look after...how....how could she look after my presently blank off senile poor ah yee?....;(

....to be cont'd.....

ending story of my ah yee.....PART 3

MAY THE MERCIFUL LIGHT OF THE BUDDHA SHINES AND PROTECT MY POOR AH YEE....


she was all along doing very well. i remembered her ang pows during cny was one of the biggest....$20 each...the rest of the well to do aunties and uncle were cheapskate. the most only like $8....

however, her good fortune didn't last. soon out of nowhere, NTUC set up shop just next to the beo cresent market...and all the hawkers there kena hit like anything.

HOW TO COMPETE WITH NTUC?.....they should be pro-business and see for urself what happen? kill all the grass roots businesses....creating miseries to so many people...and worst using our so called membership fees to hantam us pain pain....:(

the whole market business condemned...even the florists there also can't tahan. NTUC also selling flowers now...what a fuck!

and my auntie's stuffs are those provisions types...first to kena hit...and now her business dwindles...

during the past cny's eve, she piang (struggled) until morning. her business was super...the last few cnys, totally not much of a business....and now her POSB bank accounts left with few hundreds only...instead of few tens of thousands...mamalee and my younger sis each gave her 1k ang pows....to help her tide over...but for how long can this last?

WHY?....I ASK THIS QUESTION AGAIN...WHY CAN'T A SIMPLE HONEST DECENT PERSON DO AND CARRY OUT A SIMPLE HONEST DECENT BUSINESS HERE?

WHY?....WHY THE GOV HAS TO KILL THE LIVELIHOOD OF SUCH GOOD PEOPLE?...DUN TELL ME OUR BUSINESS ACUMEN IS NO GOOD....NTUC SHOULD PROMOTE SUCH GRASS ROOT BUSINESS...NOT SET UP NEXT TO IT AND KILLS EVERYONE OUT OF BUSINESS...

HOW CAN THE GOV DO SUCH A THING???...;9(

and now my poor ah yee not only became senile after she suddenly fainted....she also can't stand now...she got to be in wheelchair...

one very very touching thing is: SHE REMEMBERS ME...SHE REMEMBERS BOB....my tears are now rolling down...it's too dramatic for me...excuse me i gotta to reach for my tissues......*sob...sob*.....

During the last cny, i visited her...she blurted my name...BOB...U LOOK SO MUCH YOUNGER....my mum was shocked....she can't remember her own adopted children...she remembers me!...she can't remember my younger sis...SHE REMEMBERS ME!......

i think i made her laugh the most...she smiled the moment she saw me...and i had to hide my sorrow for her....by smiling back forcefully.....

and before i left her...i gave her the power bead bracelet which i was chanting fervently. the white bodhi seeds bracelet was turned brownish...though not blackened like the ebony one a nun gave to me years ago in a HK temple.

and ah yee....i will chant for u...for ur pain...ur miseries...let u be free from it...the next life if u ever come again...i want to meet u again....i may as well be ur son...ah yee...u take care now...i will always be with u.....

...the end......

I WAS INFESTED WITH TEETUS.....

for the past few months, i just learned about how to msn. out of no where there were hordes of teetus (gays and lesbs) started msned me.

well, u know this goon treats everyone the same so i entertain them. i got all the time in the world to do so.

there was a hk teetu whom i flirted. he taught me many pc tricks. he even did a DRAGONSTEA DIN DEI comic strips using a bunch of cartoon cats....very funny and that was how i learned about this funky song which my niece and nephew loved it!

he taught me how to save it and listen to it without having to log on the net....and i flirted with him. he wasn't very good in english ...but i was both good in mandarin and cantonese...and so...i dunno, he was infatuated with me.

out of the blue suddenly one day, he just dropped by. i was pleasantly surprised when he called me and told me he was in town.

i met him at my queenstown mrt and brought him all the way to my home. we chatted and i served him my taiwan DING TONG WULONG tea....

then come the beckoning...he wanted me....my flesh...my tang san chan 24k golden flesh......

so i gong gong told him: CAN WE BE PALS FIRST?

it was funny this phrase later became my talisman to ward off all the teetus....

he was disappointed, of course. but he told me about his family background, where he stayed in HK with his younger sis. he hated his parents who abandoned them when they were small....

finally he gave me his HK address. my god! YUEN LONG...damn far out man. if u cross here, u will be in mainland CHINA liao...but this place hor, famous for snake soup which is sold during the cold wintry months from dec to mar...

next to come avisiting was a malaccan...who wanted me to be his sugar daddy....he must be joking. me retired and diabetic...how to sugar him? so young this boy only 20+...and so deviated...:9(.

overall a good boy just that wrong preference and certainly wrong "daddy" he thought he got...

then there was this 30+ indo boy...my god! damn damn rich and handsome. got landed property in BT BATOK and family owned a chain of restaurants all over the world...LONDON, USA, FRISCO, AUSTRALIA...etc....

HE WANTED TO MARRY ME!!...u wanna see his proposal letters...:

Dearest my leetahsar,

Hello, How are you today ? I'm so glad that I can hear from you again, I have been waiting for your reply...

Honey, I'm not lazy to write you but I don't know what should I tell you my Darling...

You are not too old for me, but I'm so glad that I found you in my life my Darling...

Can I have your mobile phone number please ?? so I can call you and talk to you on the phone...
Please keep in touch and always be faithful to me ok my Darling...

I'm still waiting for you to say yes to my wedding proposal...
Kiss and hug you from me...

teetu I

u know after i read this email...my goose pimples lasted for hours....brrrr!...sheeesh!!!...

and this guy kept pestering me to "marry" him...my goodness...what has become of this topsy turvy world?

i am sharing all these with u and i am not afraid to share it. why? cos this is to let everyone know that in this world, the types of people available are as varied as the colours u can thought of...

even those jokers here in this forum...their personalities are so varied, extremes and unpredictable....

SO HOW MANY CAN U OSTRACISE?

NONE! COS' ALL OF US FLOW THE SAME COLORED BLOOD.....

not long after this, another indo teetu came avisit me. again brought him from the mrt to my home. it was during the cny period...my gf had dumped me and returned to jarkata...but she's hinting me she's coming back for me....;9(. yes after her rich indo bf dumps her....

this teetu II was even bolder and direct and straighforward...he asked for my endowment details...u know the size, the wide, the duration...and all those freaking embarrassing details...my god!

anyway i was a nurse before...i treated it as giving anatomy class to a male organ....

then he asked me to give it to him...so here i went again: CAN WE BE PALS FIRST?....again disappointed he returned. no more news or emails or daily msn liao......one more teetu riddance!

i do not understand why perfect chiohunkS with such an attractive face, solid body and highly paid profession choose to be a gay teetu? why? is there something wrong in the human morale under current? is this the trend now? the pinks are taking over the world?...we got a pinkie clown u know....

at the same time, there was a lesbo who i think fell in love with me...she wanted me to dress up in skirt and be her lover...goodness me! a fatty in drag...like a fat KUMAR!...she's definitely kidding hor!!

and after sometime, her lesbo gf msned me....and wanted me too...oh my god!...i must be a reincarnated modern tang san chan...and so here goes my protective talisman verbal phrase....CAN WE BE PALS FIRST?

............and i used that again on the thai teetukong who just came. but this one is some one who had a lasting impression on me...he was simply gorgeous! like a movie star...rich, young, and with a very highly commendable profession in bangkok...and gotta a feeling HE WOULD BE BACK... SOON!

everything is so alluring, colourful and really tempting in this dunno what gay world which i also dunno how they located me???....

but good...they are a test to my ting li...my steadfastness...if i fail, that's it !......no more monk wannabe...if i still perserve my 24K gold mint virge...me going to be a really powered monk wannabe when i robe up...

and now i treat them as humans...no ostracising...just another wayward brothers or sisters...and if i can i shall steer them towards the right path.....towards the light...and not the darkness...

but again how could we classified whether a same sex love or relationship DARKNESS....if they are happy with one another...it's light too...

i know a few pairs of gay couples who are "married" to each other for more than 20 to 45 yrs....even better then the usual husband and wife....and they are still so loving and faithfully loyal to each other....SO TOUCHING!

how to steer them apart? tell them that's a wrong kind of relationship?.....NO WAY!.....they llive their lives; we live ours...

WE CAN'T SIMPLY IMPOSE OUR NORM STANDARDS ON SOME OF THIS 'SPECIAL' BREEDS OF PEOPLE....we can only accept them as our brothers and sisters...

and so i hope those who ve read this, open up ur minds & hearts...and ACCEPT INSTEAD OF OSTRACISE....COS' WE FLOW THE SAME COLORED BLOOD....
ornitoufo.....

THE MARRIED MAN'S SCORE BOARD

this joke is really funny...i can't help splitting my belly...hahahaha...;9)



(NOTE: a score of "0" means it was expected of him)

Simple Duties
------------

* You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty-liners with wings: +5
* But return with beer: -5
* You check out a suspicious noise at night: 0
* You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing: 0
* You check out a suspicious noise and it's something: +5
* You pummel it with a six iron: +10
* It's her father: -10

Social Engagements
------------------

* You stay by her side the entire party: 0
* You stay by her side for awhile, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy: -2
* Named Tiffany: -4
* Tiffany is a dancer: -6
* Tiffany has implants: -8

Saturday Afternoons
-------------------

* You visit her parents: +1
* You visit her parents and actually make conversation: +3
* You visit her parents and stare vacantly at the television: -3
* And the television is off: -6
* You spend the day watching college football in your underwear: -6
* And you didn't even go to college: -10
* And it's not really your underwear: -15

Her Birthday
------------

* You take her out to dinner: 0
* You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar: +1
* Okay, it's a sports bar: -2
* And it's all-you-can-eat night: -3
* It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team: -10
* You give her a gift: 0
* You give her a gift, and it's a small appliance: -10
* You give her a gift, and it's not a small appliance: +1
* You give her a gift, and it isn't chocolate: +2
* You give her a gift that you'll be paying off for months: +30
* You wait until the last minute and buy her a gift that day: -10
* With her credit card: -30
* And whatever you bought is two sizes too small: -40

Thoughtfulness
----------------------

* You forgot to pick her up at the bus station: -25
* Which is in Newark, New Jersey: -35
* And the pouring rain dissolves her leg cast: -50

A Night Out With Your Pals
----------------------------------------

* You have a few beers: -9
* For every beer after three: -2 again
* And miss curfew by an hour: -12
* You get home at 3 a.m.: -20
* You get home at 3 a.m. smelling of booze and cheap cigars: -30
* And not wearing any pants: -40
* Is that a tattoo? -200

A Night Out, Just the Two of You
-------------------------------------------------

* You go see a comic: +2
* He's crude and sexist: -2
* You laugh: -5
* You laugh too much: -10
* She's not laughing: -15

PART 3: THE SPIDER, THE MOKE, THE KANG AND THE SAR....

"ttk, good! i think u r pretty stressed...in that case i won't disturb u any further..." from nowhere i blurted out this "caring" words...heng ah! what good excuse to siam..."i see u maybe tmr....u sleep until u shiok then u call me ok...bye hor...."

he gave me another firm bearhug....i tot i felt a light peck on my cheek....*blush*....we separated.

i walked to SUNTEC CITY heading towards the nearest bus stop along NICOLL HIGHWAY. all the doors to SUNTEC mall were closed. i took a long long walk before i reached the bus stop.

HELL!...my bus just sped by...i checked the bus schedule. THAT WAS MY LAST BUS....now how?....;(

phone ringing...sibeikang called..."how sar, he got eat u up or not...."

"eat up head ah! u damn suay one! tekan me like that!...next time cannot say cannot!...dun be so zer er!...i am taking taxi back...but HELL! THERE ISN'T ANY CAB!!" i pretended saying i was waiting for cab when i just missed my last bus and silently panicking....

"aiyah! sorry lah sar...really lah...the wifey on heat tonight and want leh...how?" he turned apologetic. "u kept stimulating me with ur teetu rendezvous until i become so erected u know...and the wifey..alamak! HOT MAN TONIGHT!"

"so u coming to pick me or not..not a cab in sight u know!!!" almost screaming now...very desperate.

"ok..ok...cool down...i come now..u wait see u in 10 mins..." he consoled me.

true enough, he was here in his pink retro mini cooper. we want for some light snack of congee. talk rots and then he sent me home.....


concluding episode of the spider, the moke, the kang and the sar....

this morning was up around 8 am...read the shit times with hell of a writeups 6 full pages of new paps candidates...wtf! how cum can give these jokers free ads one hun?...how cum no opp. candidate was mentioned? UNFAIR THE BLOODY PAPS...VOTE THE HELL OUT OF THEM!!!

9am. decided to call CONRAD HOTEL and asked teetukong what was his plan....

"morning, ttk...u awake?"

"....mmph..ohhmm..no bob...i think i will go for the free breakfast...then come back to sleep...." he replied sheepishly.

"ok then...u go back to sleep ...call me when u need me ok..." i told him.

"thanks bob...i think i will sleep until 3pm...then i call u to go with me to buy BEE CHEN HEONG bakwah...see u then...."

so gong gong i waited...and waited...and waited...then i on the internet....and i got a email from teetukong...this was what it said:

Hi Bob,

It was nice indeed having a chance to get to know and meet up with you. All in all, i'm sure we can be friends right? I've finally changed my flight to the earlier one at 17.15 and now at the Changi wating for boarding. I've been sleeping til 1pm then went to Orchard to get the Bee Cheng Hiang things for my colleagues' shopping list.

Keep in touch will u?

teetukong :)

so there's about my brief encounter of this gorgeous thai teetukong who was really like a very chiohunk movie star...but too bad he only got taste for me...and not the chiobus....;9)

...the end...dun flame..he's a nice chap...very sincere and really can be a good pal...a platonic one and not a sexual one...

me monk wannabe...i may sound obscene ...but obscene i m definitely not......;9)


and this was my last email to him....

teetukong,

U know that night when i went back. i walked to the nearest bus stop which like miles and miles away cos all the taxis went into hidling ...they will only come out to pick customer at 1 1/2x midnite charges rate after 12 a.m. ...

AND THERE WAS NO BUS....i tot of returning to sleep with u...but u din invite me when i was with u...i was hoping u would invite me...but u din...:(

so while waiting...(there was no more bus actually....i just missed the last one)...and i waited like an hour up till 12.45am....my friend SIBEIKANG called and i sadly told me what happened.

and it was so touching that he droved down to SUNTEC CITY to pick me up....i was thinking of calling u since transport was available now...but i think u would be doubtful about my words...and even though u were not...u might be too tired or too disappointed with me to entertain...so i din call u...i rather u ve a good rest and then maybe the next day i show u around...

and today, i waited the whole day in my house....after i called u in the morning to show u around....but after that there wasn't anymore news from u....:(

TU, if u like me...or any other person...u must be mindful and let them know what's happening...u cannot leave that person hanging in the air dunno what u want him to do...

i hope u could be more mindful when u meet with the next person u like or love...or whatever...

u r a very very nice chap except u must learn to be aware of the other person's feeling....

i think ...i really do like u TU...and hope there would be a next time....and everything wasn't so rush like this....

so i hope to u see again....if u come and treat me as pal...U CALL ME OK...AND TRY TO STAY A BIT LONGER TO ALLOW ME TO SHOW U AROUND...I STILL OWE U A NICE CANDLELIGHT STEAK DINNER I PROMISED U....

bye TU....take care...DON'T OVER STRESS URSELF WITH ALL THOSE WORKS...UR HEALTH MORE IMPORTANT...AND TO ME, U DO LOOK REALLY REALLY STRESSED...TAKE CARE OK...for me...bye...:)

love,

bob leetahsar

and my rendezvous with the thai teetukong ends...hopefully we could be pals...and very good one...i hope...and hopefully i could steer him back to be a straight normal chiohunk guy who would definitely benefit some chiobu......ornitoufo.....;9)

the end

WHAT IS A MOKE?

this is the same moke that appears in M1 advertisement.....this was the old orange moke sbk just sold. his new one is a red colored moke...even cuter...:)

PART2...THE SPIDER, THE MOKE, THE KANG AND THE SAR....

My hp rang. it was sms: BE ARRIVING AT 1145 TERMINAL ONE TG403...

so it's confirmed teetukong (male spider) from thai is coming....

what was i suppose to do...u hiao lor...ding dong ding dong flirted with unknown thai teetukong...made him orgasmic with all ur flirtatious phrases...AND NOW ...HE'S COMING FOR ME....he wants to eat me up...I M GOING TO DIE PAIN PAIN THIS TIME..UNLESS I COULD WRIGGLE MYSELF OUT OF THIS AWKARD sexescape.....:(

FRIDAY....the arrival of thai teetukong...ttk for short...

that morning i called sibeikang for timsum breakfast and related the whole matter to him..he was laughing and spitting his century egg congee all over the table....

"sar, u damn hiao, u know....for nothing u backside itchy n flirted with msner...a GAY ONE SOME more....hahahahaha....!" there sbk went again...spitting all the congees all over the table.

"sbk...pls lah...u gotta to help me...", i pleaded with him. " can u keep tonight free or not....we go meet him up...i very very excited and confused now lei...i mean i really din think he would just fly down to see me u know...i ve such attraction meh?"

"hahahaha...ya u got...especially when u told them u r still a 24k virge.....every ttks would love to eat u up alive and in one piece...hahahahah...."there he went again...i think half of the congee was spitted out all over the table...:(

"ok, lah...i help u lah...but pls hor...dun ask me to do a threesome....i am married with a kid, hor...hahahahaha..." sbk finally obliged.

after we finished our morning makan, he drove me to the nearest mrt and zoomed off in his new red moke. he just sold his orange one and made a tonne from it....

it was still quite early about 9.30am so i went into the nearby BREADTALK and bought some breads cos i got discount coupons. before that already tar pau some timsum too...for the ttk...so that just case...also for myself...just in case again...

since whether was so hot, i bought a chrysan tea for ttk...yes! i am forever a thought sweet goon king...

finally boarded the mrt heading to CHANGI AIRPORT.....

1115 reached TERMINAL 2. proceeded to look for the SKY TRAIN that links to T1...and hell! sky train broke down...after i had located it...it broke down...and wasted much of my time...NO WONDER CHANGI AIRPORT DIN GET THE TOP AIRPORT OF THE WORLD AWARD THIS TIME....

WHAT TO DO?...went out of the airport and chased after the shuttle bus going to T!.

1145 just nice...about to reach T1. handpone sms rang: W R U?

replied i, IN THE AIRPORT....abrupt silence....

rang to check which belt TG403 passengers suppose to exit...OH NO! the plane already landed at 1120..i was 25 mins late.

handphone rang, sms read: ALREADY LEFT AIRPORT WITH BOSS. CAN U JOIN ME FOR LUNCH IN CONRAD HOTEL IN 20 MINS. VE SEMINAR THERE...

damn disappointed!, replied: CAN U MEET ME TONIGHT INSTEAD AFTER UR SEMINAR?

ttk's reply; SORRY MY SEMINAR END AT 1OPM....I CALL U THEN ...SORRY BOB....

i was really disappointed and out of breath...i stood gong gong at the glass exit numbered 17....looked at my big bags smalls bags of timsum and BREADTALKS x breads....and my bottle of chrysan cooling tea...

oh! WHAT THE HECK!....sat on the bench and munch off everything. hungry what! so eat lor...finished everything and then went home...

whole morning, cbl - CHO BO LAN - ran here and ran there...and still miss the teetukong who gave me the wrong info telling me his plane land at 1145...WTF!

so what to do....waited until the night for his instruction.

phone rang. sibeikang asked, " so how sar...u met ur ttk or not?...hahahahaha..."

"meet ur head lah!! that bloody joker gave me all the wrong eta....i missed him...he already gone off to CONRAD HOTEL...he told me to meet him up again tonight about after 10pm..how u wanna come with me?"

"ok lor....we go and see ur ttk lor...hahahahaha..."

...."and by the way, u ven't bought ur rubber...ESPIRE CONDOMS at watson cheap sale u know....all rubbers less 20%...and dun forget ur KY gel...hahahahaha....!"

"shit, sbk! we r just pals...we flirted in the msn...that's about all....i ven't even met him....what's all this nonsense u talking to me?" i was quite pissed. his crappy jokes were gradually getting onto my nerves....

"aiyah...ok lah...u want...i spare u some of my strawberry flavoured one...hahahahaha...!"

.............



10pm...exactly....my house phone rang...."HELLO, bob...this is ttk....yes...sorry...i gave u landing time....the plane landed earlier by half an hour....i forgot to inform u....so u want come....to CONRAD HOTEL....i am staying alone....u stay with me tonight...is it ok?" a soft spoken voice was finally heard from this thai ttk.

"er...TTK....maybe i see u first then we discuss, ok? " i replied.

"Ok then, u come to my hotel...i meet u there at lobby...see then..."

i called sibeikang immediately and was quite pissed off from his excuses: "sorry sar...now with wifey shopping at imm leh...cannot come with u now...later...later u call me again...can?"

what to do? off i went after changing....took a bus down...when i alight...oh my shit! HOW BLUR SOTONG I CAN GET!....i mistook CARLTON HOTEL for CONRAD HOTEL...now where the hell is CONRAD HOTEL???!!

desperately, i called sbk and asked...and he burst out laughing again..."aiyah sar! u really damn blurr...CONRAD is at MARINA lah..u dingaling....hahahaha!"

great! what was i suppose to do? having no choice i hailed a cab...and soon reached CONRAD in MARINA near to SUNTEC CITY.

entered the hotel main door. headed straight to the receptionist who page for me teetukong from his room. waited at the lobby in anticipation.

soon ttk came. wow! this joker was gorgeous...exactly like a film star...my god! how come he is gay?? i kept asking myself...and how come he was interested in me??

did my flirty words ...like "u sent ripples to this otherwise lonely and old dead heart" .... orgasmic him until he could not tahan and keen to see me...leetahsar...the silliest blurrest goon king?

............


he saw me. i stood up to greet him. i held out my hands..he approached me...and instead of shook hands, he grabbed me. he bearhugged me...i was stunned. shit! if it was monica, i would not hesitate...but this is teetukong whom i had never met before. this was the first time i meet him...and he jacket me...no joke!

oh well! u jacket me...i jacket back! my goodness! my tummy could feel his abs...and i think he must had feel my ter yue...u know pig lard tummy....;9)

after a brief introduction we sat at the lobby sofa and chatted.

he told me he wanted to go MUSTAFFA...the 24 hr indian shopping mall at serangoon...so how? right! called sibeikang who promised to be my driver for the evening.

"hello, sbk, could u come down now to CONRAD...my pal wants to go MUSTAFFA...." i very courteously asked.

"cannot leh...just got home unpacking groceries now...and then going for shower..then...ok...u wait ....i call u back again"....*click!*

i explained to ttk that i called my good pal sbk to come pick us up with his MOKE....his face blanked...and asked "What is a moke, bob?"

"OH! it's a car with 4 wheels...no roof...no doors...just 4 seats and a steering wheel..."



this is the same moke that appears in M1 advertisement.....

"hahaha...oic...", ttk was curious.

so we chatted. he told me that temasek had indirectly ruin thaksin their pm...and he was going to be history soon cos many thais hated him for exploiting the thai tax system. he made billions from the sales of his telco company without the need to pay a single cent tax...and all the thais are unhappy....they hated thaksin...they hated the jinx and the clown...and they definitely wanted to blow up temasek if they could....

soon it was approach 11.30pm....what was keeping sibeikang who was suppose to call me whether he was coming or not...

so i called him again. "sorry sar...me now jacking the wifey...huh..huh..er..arrh..ah...sorry...u go ahead first to...er...ahh..ahh..hahhh....MUSTAFFA...ahh..ahh call..ahh u later..." ....*click*...shit! he did that again twice tonight on me...;9(

i was quite embarrassed. i told ttk we proceed to MUSTAFFA by cab...but it was 11.30pm...the ghostly hour for cabs...ALL VANISHED INTO THIN AIR...all waiting for the 12am timing to re appear and chop passenger 1 1/2 times the usual rate.....

we waited...and waited....not a single cab in sight...and the queue at the hotel's front car porch was like getting longer....

ttk looked at me...i looked back blankly. finally he said in a tone of disappointment, "bob, can we cancel the whole thing? i think i am quite tired...i go back to sleep....u wanna to come with me to my room?....we sleep together....?"

bloody shit sibeikang!...u really knew how to tekan me...u really want me to be de-flower by thai ttk....now i dunno what to say...i flirted like anything...and now this ttk wanted action...and live one...my god!

HELP!!!

...............

DAYS OF MY NURSING LIFE....

DAYS OF MY NURSING LIFE....

SOMEone asked me about my nursing life...the daily routine...so i tell this very sickening experience i gone through one fine day...

body dry cleaning: i used lukewarm water, towel and soft soap....and those grey areas i also need to mop...

if patient is not weak, i would ask him to do it himself...if he's in coma...then too bad..i gotta to do it...

there was one bloody shit indian...totally drunk...and he drove me nuts...but i left a few souvenir for him...i pinched him blue black...this was what happened..

the police brought this dead meat in....i stripped him...dry bathed him..cos damn fucking stink!

finished...he vomitted...shit! gotta to repeat...finished he peed...damn fucking stink! repeat...but i pinched him..and remind him how he tormented me 3x...and that was when his anaconda came alive...shit!....lucky me male power missy...if this was carried out by a mei mei missy...sure screamed one!

this arsehole...actually ejaculated ....wtf!....and i had to clean him up...the juices and all...shit!...i complained to matron...and after cleaning everything...when he awoke, we called the police...and off he went to be charged from creating public nuisance for being helplessly drunk...

his fucking urine stink like anything...and so was his vomittus...and his bloody sperm missiles....hiazz...! i gave up...

this was only one of the torture this poor male missy had to put up with...wait till u hear the rest.....:(


then there were sadistic young houseman...doctor in training whose favorite pastime was to tekan male missy...especially chiohunk one like me....

"male nurse, come...." he would start. "please get some shit sample from this ah pek patient...u gotta to dig the most foul portion...and bring it to lab to test...ok?"

what to do? sure ok lah...then what?

off i went to the pantry. tried to look for sample container...and the biggest i got was about the size of a fifty cent coin. next looked for wooden spatula - like ice cream stick...except about 5x bigger...

so that u ve it...one small little sample container; one humongous ice cream stick...

next tell ah pek to drink laxative and wanna pang sai, please yell for me...i put bedpan next to him...

true enough...half an hour later..."missy..missy!...ai pang sai liao...quick come..." yelled the bloody lau ah pek.

i had to dash to his side cos got to check whether got bleeding or not. so screen him up...privacy u know...with me inside "enjoying" the natural human aroma of the stinkiest shit..

that's not the end...the worst was just beginning for me...

when lau ah pek finished his business, i was suppose to go dig for "gold"...the foulest gold that i could find...SHIT!!!

now left hand with tiny plastic sample container, right hand armed with humongous wooden spatula, i started my "treasure hunt".

hell! the stench...oh my god! even with the mask dipped with AXE MEDICATED oil...i could still smell the evil stench!

when i suppose to put it into the little container, it was all over my index and thumb in between...oh my god!....:(

i closed and sealed the container. put in into a plastic seal and rushed immediately to clean the cursed souvenir on my forefinger and thumb.

hell! the shit was gone...but the terrible stench...it remained...even i poured raw SUTTOL...over the infected parts....

next lunchtime...do u think i can eat anymore?...i ordered beef noodle. the moment i saw those beef balls...i couldn't stand it no longer...off i rushed to the toilet...and vomitted like hell!

that lunch was the most sadistic lunch in my life!..i only drank the fruit juice..and was weak all over...my god!

DO U LOVE TO BE A MALE MISSY NOW???

From: BabaEro11 29-Mar 23:24
To: leetahsar 1654 of 1665

But he is after your 24K Golden mint to de virginise you.

From: leetahsar 30-Mar 09:19
To: BabaEro11 1655 of 1665

83628.1655 in reply to 83628.1654

i presume so....but i am as curious as u how all this teetukongs and teetujias get to know me and msn me....whenever i on my pc, msns will start flowing in like tsunami.....now i dare not open up the msn icon...:9(

anway, this teetukong is real looker...like some kind of movie star, u know...and rich...and young...and shit!..what am i talking....will this be the end of my 24k mint virge???

stay tune today to find out!...me just as curious...but i dunno i sense a certain strong affintiy with him.....;9)

er..do i need to carry some rubbers just in case? or wear extra undies...maybe ask mum whether she got chastitiy bell for orifices protection?

THE ARRIVAL OF THAI TEETUKONG....

THE ARRIVAL OF THAI TEETUKONG....RA upheaval starting again....
these days quite bo liao...so i mess with MSN....u know the like chat relay kind of things.

so i put my pic up in the msn...and u know something...i actually msn-ed AUSSIEB...my long lost brother in oz...serious...we like msn-ed for quite long. he even long distance called me....i was pleasantly surprised...right AUSSIEB?....;9)

now something weird is happening to me this days....teetukongs and teetujias aplenty....so from nowhere some unknown strangers would msn me...i got msg from butches and bitches too...really sexy and lesbo ones...u name it ..i got it...and gay/lesbo couples all over the world...my god!

one fine day, i got a really touching msn from a thai chinese guy...my god! he fell in love with me!!!

i was really really flattered....here i am with an imminent visit from my indo chiobu gf...and there on the other hand, a guy falling head over heel for me...the goon...the silly old sotong ugly like fuck goon king??!!

he told me i was cute with my newly grown moustache...and i looked so welcoming and friendly...that i must agree....:)

but i told him...me poor old man...retired...broke...and very bo liao ...only posting bo liao threads and writing lame mo lei tao stories in the net...and get myself flamed and roasted...no money at all....

the more he loved me...oh my god! so ok lor...since he so on...me started my bo liao flirting with him...and shit...i had to be so creative and romantic..and i remember hitting this line to him...which now i reallly ledi regret...:(

he said he dreamt of me...(oh shit...i was asking for it!)...so i blur blur flirt back...and said..."YOU SEND RIPPLES TO OTHERWISE A DEAD OLD LONELY HEART...) die! he orgasmic...and now he said he's coming to meet me......

next he msn-ed his pic...his big palace house in bangkok....the exotic places like TIBET he had been...his dalmatians, doberman, rotweillers....my god...HE IS A DAMN RICH chiohunk...he is freaking handsome...like a movie star....and my god! if i were to be gay...i would definitely feel his love rippling through me.....hahahaha...;9)

he was so enthusiastic about me! he's a 30+, big time self-employed businessman with a booming family business. he was a thai teochew and father like owing big big businesses...and shit! he fell for me...this blur goon king!!??

so there u r, my secret weapon up my pants...i mean my sleeve...this guy...let's call him TEETUKONG...my secret weapon to send choobeebee back to jarkata and make sure she gives up on me...

she needs to be frank to herself....she doesn't really want me. she only needs me as her life buoy when she lost her luxury liner in the open sea...she just need me for her to hold on until the next glorious yacht passes by for her...and i would be discarded floating aimlessly in the wild high sea again...

and so TEETUKONG..i m counting on u now to rid her once and for all....this friday...me will be meeting him...he's coming...my TEETUKONG....my "ripples" sender...

BUT PLS LAH...ME NOT GAY, OK...and no flaming hor...if u flame ...i stop my reality story...to be cont'd after this friday's rendezvous....


lai ya!...buy tickets...juicy...XXX stories coming soon ah!!...RA rated ...restricted to open minded audience only....;9)

THE ODD COUPLE IN HOLLAND ROAD

THE ODD COUPLE IN HOLLAND ROAD

u dun ve to do charity by donating money.....if that's the case then all the poors are uncharitable people....

yesterday i was at a funny poor old odd couple's flat in holland rd. it was a multi-usuage single hall flat....u know the hall is also the bedroom.

i was there with sibeikang delivering mattress which the couple ordered.

on entering the place, it was such a mess with alots of junks and mismatched stuffs....but on closer look, they were quite interesting junks.

i saw a ceramic owl on a stick with flapping movable wings. it interested me and caught my attention...

without even thinking, the mrs gave that to me knowing i like it...and insisted that i have it...

that was another form of COMPASSION...a form of charity....anything that we do to make the opp party happy...well loved...feel warmed...and shiok....(beside the sex thing).....is compassion already...IT'S CHARITY done without even she knowing it....

and they were just plain simple poor folks who ordered the cheapest mattress sibeikang's company advertised....

so ornitoufo to them...weather was damn hot ...and the husband even asked me whether i want a electric fan which he picked up and repaired..

he had so many repaired workable units....he could have jolly well sold it...but he wanted me to have it...of course i couldn't take it....i dun need it...but his asking already make me realise in the poor, compassion flows much easier....

ornitoufo to the odd couple in holland rd....ornitoufo to their heart of gold.....

RELATIVE & ABSOLUTE COMPASSION/HAPPINESS

Matters of the Heart - RELATIVE & ABSOLUTE COMPASSION/HAPPINESS

i dunno about this DENISE PHUA (a new pap candidate) being the president of the AUTUISM. she got an autustic child and therefore she advocates this charitable organisation.

suppose she got a normal kid, would she still be that compassionate and interested in other people's autustic children? will she still be that on and involved?

ask her this and see how she reacts and answers....

her compassion is another example of another RELATIVE COMPASSION....my child is autustic that's why i AM THE PRESIDENT here....

if my child is normal...sorry no time to handle!

--oo0oo--



PLS excuse me for my indirect how lian...i can't think of an immediate example besides this one i m going to ...er...pai seh tell or brag if u seem fit....

EXAMPLE:

leetahsar one fine day followed sibeikang to deliver mattresses....free of charge...since when did he pay me anything?

one kindly lau kuaybu client electrocuted by my soulful gazing eyes, gave me $10 tips....and sibeikang seeing the tips asked for half of it which i gong gong gave him....leaving me only $5.

oh jolly molly! might as well good what! could eat a decent dinner tonight...

sibeikang instead of sending me home after the day's chore, dropped me off at GINZA PLAZA...and i suppose to chase after the bus, u know to return home at queenstown....;9(

so i went into ginza to jalan jalan....i saw an old bent lau auntie at a corner with a big pile of newspaper and some aluminium cans.

poor auntie could not even stand up after squatting there. luckily, this blur goon was walking past. i approached her and held her hands and lifted her up on her two feeble feet.

auntie smiled and thank me...i walked away. Paused. turned. walked back to lau auntie...

"ah ermmmh," i asked, "u want to sell those pile of newspaper is it?" she nodded her head.

ok lor, i gave her my $5 and bought from her the pile of junks to be discarded....if i dun buy, it would burden her and i doubt she could get even 50c for it...and so be it...there went my dinner....

she thanked me profusely...i told her...no lah..ah ermmh i bought from u the newspaper what...i should be the one thanking her....

YES I SHOULD BE THE ONE THANKING HER....WHY?

by allowing me to do this humble deed, the warm glow within my heart is PRICELESS and indeed worth more than my $5.....'9)

this my dear all friends...is ABSOLUTE COMPASSION WITH THE ABSOLUTE KIND OF HAPPINESS u will feel...

ornitoufo...forgive me for my how lian-ness....pai seh...



--oo0oo--

what the heck! i tot. tonight would be maggie mee again maybe with an added egg...oh well! might as well gotta rid this tummy fats, u know...

but no! heaven blessed me! gof pal called me out of the blue. said wanted to treat me cos RAMA THAI got special offer for claypot whole sharkfins. told me to wait at home, he come to pick me and off we went to wallop our sharkfins.

he paid; i supped.....;9)...so that night no cheapo maggie mee for me...only sharkfin with an added whole abalone, black pepper crabs with vermecilli, and free desserts of birds' nest soup....serious no joke...the dessert they gave free....;9) each person a generous bowl some more....

so girls and guys...DO GOOD...EVEN IF U R NOT REWARDED...THE WARM GLOWING FEELING WITHIN U IS REALLY REALLY PRICELESS!....

but of course, this is a lucky goon in 24k gold mint cond virge...who's there not to love, right?....ornitoufo.....;9)