After finished bathing each and every dirty old men brought in by the matas, i started my round of taking temperature and pulses of every patients.
"EEK!! tah sar! quick go chase after the young man!!" the virginal old matron yelled at me. the red sore spread eagle bound guy broke loose and running out of the ward in his red undie. "Quick! tah sar, go, go and catch him back!!!..." she was frantic.
Off i ran like a sprint runner. i was mean and leaned then, u know. very sportsman like. i chased. he ran...chased faster, he ran even faster....and then all the way, he ran up the 4 storey stairs to the top open area of the building.....hell, i was panting like a dog! he ditto.
"get down from the ledge and come here, u bloody shit!!" i was pointing my shaking finger at him who had climbed over the ledge. he was agitated. he threatened to jump. shit this is my first day at the ward, right? hell, what a first day i am having!!
"Come down....come here....don't be like that..." i tried to coax him with my most gentle sexy tone. the guy started wailing and crying and said he didn't want to live anymore.
"Please mister...this is my first day hor...don't make things so difficult for me, ok...." i pleaded. "think of ur wife....u die...she even sadder, ok....good boy, lah....come down and come to me....i be ur friend..." he hesitated. looked at me in niagra fall eyes. i was inching slowly towards him without him realising. without warning, i grabbed him and pulled him down to the hard concrete. luckily the whole bunch of matas came and as i wrestled him and gave him a arm and leg locked....the police also pounced on him and handcuffed him. he put up a strong struggle like a hooked fish out of water. then from nowhere, virginal matron jabbed him with a sedative needle. he blacked out.....
the police patted me and heaved the numbed body off to the waiting ambulance set off to the mental hospital....end of ordeal for me at least....
Virginal matron was smiling and smiling at me....i thought she would eat me up alive any moment. she held my hand and said, "Great work, tah sar...u very brave. and don't worry about ur contact with that guy...his red sores are not contagious...u can have the half day off." hell! of course....i m taking half day off to clean and sterilise my whole body. my uniform was stained with his yuck! yellow what the hell pus. mom sure going to kill me when she washed my white nursing clothing.
i went back but not home to my grandma's place which was also my old man's business premises where grandma had a room to herself. she was bedridden.
as i entered her room, i smelled a real stinky stench. Hell! grandma pooed and nobody dare to approach and clean and change her. here goes leetahsar - steady poon pee pee missy in action. without further ado, i cleaned her up. stripped her and gave a dry body cleaning i learnt from nursing. finally powdered and talcumed her spick and span and smelling fresh again. and i did that everyday after my working hour.
i sterilised her soiled clothing with hydrogen peroxide. very good this liquid. it actually neutralized the odour and dissolve anything organic. if ur clothing stained with blood, add a few drops of this. the blood would be dissolved without a trace. alot of bubbles will be given off in the process. anything stinks, just pour this over..rid the smell very fast.
after cleaning up grandma, i started my leetahsar massaging. i very good also, u know. had to do this as grandma bedridden would get bedsores and all her muscles would turn stiff. so as i massaged her, i gently turned her around. grandma was pleased with me...i was also feeling very happy as i had learned something nursing skill to service my beloved granny.....
finished everything....fed her and talked to her...then bored her to sleep, i returned home to the loud stereo speaker of my mum. she was screaming her head off at my pus stained white uniform....couldn't be bothered as i dead beat already. showered and used alot of dettol mixed with water to bath over my contaminated body.....another siong day's work thus ended......
the next day was the beginning of another very siong day for me.
the morning nursing routine....dry cleaning all the patients. took pulses and temps....attend to patients' needs.
i didn't know where out of the blue, the mata came again to my ward. asked me to sign a form and wheeled in an funny looking old man. freaking dirty this old man carrying a few dirty red plastic bags.
"Ah pek, kong hokien bo?" (uncle, can speak hokien?) i asked in a friendly tone. ah pek nodded. "OK, ah pek u very dirty hor...many days didn't bath already right? now i bath u ok?" ah pek nodded again.so pull in all the screen to block off for privacy and leetahsar went into action. his most fantastic skill: dry bed bathing dirty old men...sheesh! This bloody ah pek, i realised was going to my next hellgiver. his body was infested with skin mites. after i bath him, hell! my hands were itching like anything...the skin mites was transferred into me. and i was scratching and scratching until there were little tiny watery puses forming...shit! got to sterilise myself again....i mixed suttol (like dettol) with water and soaked my whole arms in.....ah...what a relief! killed the mites after awhile and stopped the itch soon after. see i learned something again.
the breakfast tray was here. and all the patients were distributed with a planned diet. at least could steal some rest now. the whole morning was on my toes. my legs were really sore and killing me. rested in the nurses pantry. relaxed and had my first cup of coffee. wah lau! it was liked heaven for me during that moment of rest.....the 15 minutes morning break was liked heaven to me except it felt very brief and soon it was back to the ward again.
"MISSSY!!! MISSSSSSY!!!!" yelled the ah pek, "quick ah....pang sai, pang sai!!!" oh shit! i made a 100 m dashed to the kitchen and grabbed the cold stainless steel bedpan back to the ward for that stupid irritating lau ah pek. screened up again for his privacy to pang sai. tong..tong! "finished liao, missy" ah pek looked at me and smiled his toothless grin. i pressed my nostril, hold my breathe and held out arm length the inferno cargo in the bedpan to the kitchen to be disposed off....
that settled. another bigger one coming....peace before the storm. out of nowhere, a few attendants wheeled in a monster senseless fat pig. "missy, come help and transfer this fat ass into the bed," one of the accompanying nursing officer called out to me.
Goodness! what do i have here? a dead like a butchered monster pig in coma...heaved and heaved...still couldn't lift an inch this humongous living corspe. more ammunition needed...the amahs all roped in. finally got this piece of meat transferred onto the ward bed. hell! my back was really sprain from all that hoisting.
next, body cleaning....my expertise coming in. so dry bath him. finished....he peed. shit! repeat. finsihed. he vomitted. hell! repeat. finished. ok. nothing. no other bodily fluids emitted. was given a packet of the pig's belongings....i got to check and record. wah lau! rolex oyster king - 1pc. thick 24k bracelet as big as a centipede - 2 pcs (one for each hand). big gold ring with equally big jade - 1 pc. another don't know what stone on another finger 1 pc. wallet - 1pc....20 pcs $1000 bill. hah....what was that $1000 bills? 20 pcs some more....so tempting....kepok one piece wonder this dead pig knew or not....of course i didn't do it lah...leetahsar, big goon u know.
next a nursing officer came. so i passed the record book with the pigs's belonging to her. she screened up the patient and proceed to fix some drip into his nostrils. the fat pig was real out cold. in coma....and with all those wealth i just recorded.
lunch time. good. an one hour rest badly needed. i ordered beef kuay teow soup. was about to feast on the beef balls and hell...the image of the ah pek's golli shits which just resembled the beef ball i was going to munch on...excuse me....off i ran to the toilet and vomit the hell out. my guts nearly came out too,u know.
no more apetite. full already. just drank the fruit juices...couldn't think of food anymore....this was the first time in my life the food couldn't delight me. what a joke!
break over. back to the torturing ward. "tah sar, u very good. cleaned up this dead pig so spick and span...", virginal matron talked to me, "Why don't u just follow up and accompany him to Tan Tock Seng hospital...this fella very serious...need to go to the intensive care there....may kong off anytime...one of his brain vessel snapped....too fat...too high blood pressure....so much money...what's the use man?"
did i have a choice? no! i had to push this carcass in a trolley to the waiting ambulance at the foyer. hell! this was a gigantic piece of meat even the white linen couldn't fully cover him. as i was pushing, a sudden gush of wind blew and the whole piece of linen flew off exposing the mountainous belly and his little dicky. i was so embarrassed and ran after the flying linen. caught it and covered it up quickly. all the eyes of visitors and others were snickering away at this embarrassing situation.
so off i went with the ambulance and the pig which filled up the whole ambulance. it was damned cramp. i couldn't even stretched my legs. when the ambulance reached TTSH, my legs were already numb...i thought i was paralysed...i couldn't walk momentarily...so my mission accomplished....poor pig! i think he might be dead...or worst became vegetative....his condition was terrible....so rich..so young. and then now in deep coma....man propose; heaven dispose...