LEETAHSAR NEARLY GOT HUMPED...by a man

i am always telling people to avoid the water as this year is the water havocs year. the tsunami...the weird frequent drowning occurences and yet i ended up accompanying despressed deprived lamejohn to Pulau Tioman.
a day before we booked the tour, i was actually planning to go chiangmai up on the hill. safer u know. and this packaged 4 days tour was on super offered with airfare, hotel, guided tour....all for only $188. by a twist of faith, lamejohn on reaching there was pissed off by the freaking huge crowds. all trying to register for cheap tours. our waiting Q tickets was like after more than 1k people behind.
in the end, we left the place and went to beach road and ended up P. tioman packaged tour 3D3N. shiong! the tour fare: $178...$10 more i can fly alopane (aeroplane)...u know.
so what to do...gong gong accompanied lamejohn lor.
5am, ya that early up already...took cab there...another $10+. no buses so early. the whizz into the waiting bus. there were only 4 persons heading to that destination. lamejohn, me and a pair of malay couple. true...everyone scares of the water havoc thing.
it was smooth sailing all the way to Mersing, the tiny fishing village where we alighted and waited for the ferry to the island. malay food. nasi padang! mmm...my favourite. so supped lah...later boarded the ferry and got hell! vomitted like anything...like even the guts and intestines coming out too....
finally 2 hrs of hell sailing, reach tioman. was really goggy from all the vomitting. we checked into our wooden chalet. once inside, i pengsan...knocked off. (don't ask me what lamejohn did to me...me don't know...already pengsan and sleeping like a dead pig!)
didn't realise sleep until night. time for the buffet dinner. shiok! magic word: FOOD! dead pig now fully awaken to hungry greedy boar!so head off for the dining tables of a long shiok shiok malay food. damn shiok!!.....
after makan. lamejohn and me strolled along the beautiful moonlighted beach. very very romantic.....hell! what am i saying? ok lah, very very romantic....;)then we returned to our wooden chalet. bathed. made the complimentary shiok coffee. watched tv and chatted.slowly the chatting turned into counselling. lamejohn all of a sudden turned gloom and doom. he started pouring out his woe about his wifey. how she hantam his balls instead of sympathising with him for his pay cut. how the wifey mocked at his useless state for not being able to voice out and defend his stance. he was a factory manager. a master degree holder in engineering science. overall 2nd in his U course....and now got salary cut. just couldn't swallow the pride. so blah...blah..blah...and turned teary. but he was a man after all and wifey was liked despising him. she refused to offer herself to him...and he...well, he was one deprived sex machine now.
poor thing! what was i suppose to do? lent him my crying shoulder. suddenly, he also wanted my waist. Grabbed tight..then the tear soaked face pressed onto mine....and the lips suddenly coming near too. Hell! i pushed him away and started my leetahsar goony pep talk....blah...blah.blah....ur family ur kids...ur reputation..pls restrain urself. regretted for his impulsive action, cried even sadder. male version niagra falls....hell! just bathed and now he wet my shoulder and my cute turtle T-shirt!
and tonight was only the first night. die, man! got 2 more nights to go. How ah? luckily i brought along my buddhist beads, buddhist books, buddhists sutras and chanted the hell to disperse the evil horny spider spirit aura that was possessing him....chui guo chui guo!
tomorrow we booked the skin diving. and hell! u think sinkie town sentosa expensive, wait till u come here. rent goggle $10, lifejacket another 10, roti to feed fishes $5....and the whole diving trip M80. freaking expensive! overall for the trip >M120...u need the flipper too...that m15... shit!they brought us to a location called MONKEY BAY. But there wasn't any monkey. the only one that looked liked a orang utan was the boat steerman himself.
so everyone aboard plunged into the sea. and lamejohn,well, he was a good swimmer....a very how lian good swimmer. so he showed off like as though he was the merman living there.
as for lazy pig me....i just let myself float and breath easily through scuba tube and enjoyed the fishes coming to feed from my hands. it was super feeling getting to pat the fishes big and small. it was like u were one with the sea....such relaxed and priceless feel. leetahsar is also pisces the fish....so here i was with all my kinds. i almost thought i was a fish and nearly forgot to board the little bumboat when it was time to return...bye fishes...bye cute greeny parrotfish and that macho batfish....bye everyone.....
the days that followed was liked staying with a man hunk from the chipperdale. he walked naked infront of me. showered with the door wide open to make sure i would be able to see his erected didi. shit with door open...again with erected didi. and the worst part..leaving his soil stained undies hanging at the most obvious place....on the toilet doorknob. there's another one near my shaver...
can i classify this as indecent sexual harrassment?
soon it was the last night of the trip. a young couple just shifted in next door. it was almost 11pm. i was watching the tv. suddenly, my bed started rocking. front and back...front and back...my bed was against the thin wooden wall that separated the 2 chalet units. the young couple was just next door. i panic and thought EARTHQUAKE!!!
then heavy heaving sighing and gruntings came from next door. i pressed my ears against the wall. oh my god! we got live floor show next door. now even the wall was shaking...and the attached wall light went "ding ding ding" was shaking. it was like any moment, the wall light would drop.
was relieved. for a while i thought earthquake...then maybe another tsunami heading this way. lamejohn just stepped into our chalet and saw me pressing my ear to the separating wall. he too pressed his ears to listen. hell! his bloodhound immediately erected. mati! now i really asking for it!
now john...calmed down....ok....u go to the toilet there and wank it out urself..take a cold shower....k. don't mess my blackhole, hor...me monk wannabe. don't u dare deflower me!
quickly, i took position in a lotus stance and immediately chant my spider spirit overcoming sutra...if there was one...really...and soon, lamejohn fearing to offend any buddha now invisibly protecting me, obediently went into the toilet to wank it out. wah lau! the gruntings and the heavings were scarier than the grunting and heaving next door which obviously was getting louder and louder until it ended with an orgasmic shrieks....and all were quiet again. peace finally was with me. goodness! what an orgic night i was having to end the trip finally this unique orgasmic way......
the next day, we packed and waited at the jetty. we saw the jacking couple next door. it was a really funny sight. the presumably husband was as fat as a pig and gigantic size. the wife, oh my god, a pin sized lady. short and stubby. but hell! they really could rock their bed...and mine too.
well, upon arriving sinkietown, lamejohn liked suddenly turned into a total stranger. hardly talked to me as though i was invisible. i also didn't know what to say. we were very quiet throughout the journey back. and thank god! i made it back still in pure chastity.....
up till now, lamejohn had stopped calling me to whine upon. strange. but good for me. one whiner less to listen. eh, do u think i should call him?.....maybe...maybe not...
so folks there u have it. the day LEETAHSAR NEARLY GOT HUMPED...by a man. goodness gracious! chui guo chui guo!
comments pls.